In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Austin West.

Austin West is a certified psychedelic medicine practitioner, microdosing philosopher, and founder of Entheo Holistics. He specializes in helping men forge a life of purpose, power, and authenticity through psychedelic healing and intentional microdosing.

We touch upon topics such as:

  • Austin’s story of addiction and transformation (01:06 – 05:48)
  • The impact of microdosing on his healing journey (04:55 – 05:48)
  • How trauma, especially father wounds, can lead to addiction (10:18 – 13:41)
  • Porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, and healing from it (14:47 – 22:42)
  • Synchronicities and the ‘creator mindset’ (26:07 – 31:57)
  • Ayahuasca revealing his suppressed grief and a life-changing message (36:56 – 42:38)
  • The fear of change and trusting the medicine process (42:38 – 47:22)
  • His microdosing company and its impact on mental health (47:32 – 52:22)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com.

Find more about Austin West and his work at IamAustinWest.com.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Austin West: The difficulty I experienced in all of my ayahuasca ceremonies are the very reason I can trust and surrender the way I do now. They are the reasons I have the re a relationship with God I’ve never had before. They are the reasons I’ve been able to heal things that I struggled with and suffered from for nearly my entire life.

Know. Earlier when I was talking about, I believe that each of these medicines have their own consciousness to ’em and directive. Essentially. It’s I believe mushrooms are the ultimate connector. MD MA is the ultimate feeler. LSD is the ultimate seer. I believe Ayahuasca is the ultimate healer. There has been no medicine that has brought me the level of healing and trust and perspective and embodiment that Ayahuasca has brought me.

And so these fears we have the fear of what if it’s going to blank? That fear is the thing that’s keeping you trapped in your own suffering of your own making. And so when we choose to lean into the fear, that’s when we finally become free.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we do the whole Sam belief. Today I’m having a conversation with Austin West. Austin is a certified psychedelic medicine practitioner, coach and entrepreneur who teaches the framework. Men need to forge a life of purpose, power and authenticity. Austin is a certified psychedelic medicine practitioner, microdosing philosopher, and founder of Athea Holistics.

In this episode, we talk about overcoming steroids, drug and porn addiction, with help of psychedelics, workaholism, synchronicities, and the law of attunement, creator versus victim mentality. Microdosing and more enjoyed this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you Austin. Welcome to the show. Good to

Austin West: be here, man.

Sam Believ: So I’ve interviewed Austin’s girlfriend a few months ago, and she was the one who recommended you to me. She’s, obviously your relationship is great ’cause you guys support each other and promote each other.

This is this is really nice to see. So yeah, Julian, if you’re listening, thank you for the heads up. Austin, tell us a little bit about a little bit about yourself, your story and what brought you into this different way of living your life.

Austin West: Yeah, I guess the easiest place to start would be the Cataly event, and when I was 14 my dad walked out.

It was a shock to us all. It really disrupted all the semblances and stories I had of safety and family dynamics and love and everything that naturally comes with the divorce. Within six months of him walking out, I began drinking. By 15 I started smoking weed. By 16 I was snorting coke.

By 17, I was injecting and taking oral versions of steroids. By the end of high school, I had started taking Xanax, painkillers, Valium and couple different pharmaceuticals. I started messing with pretty much anything. Get my hands on during those years. Engaging in a lot of meaningless sex. By the time I was 20, my hormones were so fucked up from the steroids that I developed erectile dysfunction, and I got addicted Cialis and Viagra.

By 22, I got hooked on Adderall from my, what I now look at as my drug dealer. But my doctor prescribed me Adderall instead of looking at any of the symptomology that I was experiencing. All of these addictions and abuses lasted anywhere from 14 to 32 years old. So they dominated pretty much my entire life and no one really knew I was the life of the party.

Everyone’s best friend, high school football captain, track star, successful business person. And it wasn’t until I found the medicine path that it was really able to open my eyes to. What I was suffering in, what I was suffering from the addictions and abuses that were really taking control and taking over my life, but I was so ignorant to how bad these were.

I was living in that paradigm. I think a lot of people do were just because I would stop on weekends. I had convinced myself that. I wasn’t an addict, I wasn’t in abusive behaviors or tendencies. Yeah, essentially later in, into my late twenties I always like to say the medicine path finds you, but psilocybin was introduced into my life.

My first time ever microdosing. I was at the beach with my friends and the world changed for me. All of a sudden my mind quieted. I was able to feel, again, feel connected to myself, my friends. The environment around me I felt present. My mental rumination had disappeared. And in that altered state, in that brief escape from the hell, frankly I was living in, I was able to see my life, really what it was which was suffering which was a lot of pain, which was a lot of distraction, which was a lot of numbness.

And that began my now six year long journey with the medicine path.

Sam Believ: Thank you for sharing that, and thank you for the vulnerability. So for people who are listening, they might assume that you had terrible and unpro unproductive life, but there’s another side to it, right? While you were in that sort of addictive state, you also I believe were addicted to, to work.

So tell us a little bit about what you achieved while you were in that state.

Austin West: Yeah, that’s the surprising factor is no one on the outside would’ve ever guessed that I was suffering, that I wasn’t happy that I was living in my own personal hell that I had different addictions or abusive tendencies.

Because on the outside, like I mentioned, I was high school football captain, track star. At 22, I opened my first multimillion dollar business by. 24. I was the youngest senior manager in all of JP Morgan Chase across the country. They’re a Fortune 10 company. By 28, I was part of a team of seven that built a hundred million dollar company in three years.

I made the money, I had the fancy cars, I had the beach house or the condo by the beach rather. And so outward facing, nobody knew that I was suffering from all of these things. I kept it very internalized. I was battling a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression. I had this, the only way I can really describe it is this this panic every night before I went to bed and every morning that I woke up, it wasn’t really anxiety, like it was a literal panic.

My heart would start racing and I always felt like something bad was about to happen to me. I lived in this for probably a decade of my life and. I think that the workaholism really came in that when I stopped partying on weekends, it’s like I, I convinced myself I wasn’t an addict because I would leave a lot of my behaviors in that Friday to Sunday window, but Monday would roll around and I would be taking Adderall, which is just another drug that we have masked as a medicine, and I would work 16 to 18 hour days, and I got addicted to the money chase as well. I thought that the lifestyle wasn’t the reason I’m not happy, it’s that I’m not making enough money. It’s that I don’t have enough toys. It’s that I don’t have the right clothes or the next expensive bag, or the expensive vacation, whatever it might be.

And so the workaholism really tormented me for many years because the more unhappy I got, I just thought it meant I wasn’t being productive enough. And so it up my hours from 10 a day to 12 a day, to 14 a day. To essentially getting to a portion of my life, or Monday through Friday, I was up at 6:00 AM working from seven and not home till 10:00 PM at night because I was dumping all of my energy into work because it was the easiest way to distract myself by convincing myself I was actually benefiting my life in some.

Sam Believ: Yeah, workaholism is just another, addiction is just the one that society does not criticize, but nevertheless, it’s still an escape from pain. And it’s interesting that, your story of being a dream, having this dream life on a societal standard, but then being a mess inside and suffering, I think.

It’s very common now, especially because we all live this Instagram life where you have this one version that’s presented outside and another version that’s inside. And we’re all thinking that everyone is doing great. We’re the only ones that are not doing great. We notice here, for example, at Laira, people come over and they start sharing and then they realize oh my God, everyone is suffering.

Equally, and as through that vulnerability, they can start, actually sharing openly and connect and start to help each other. Obviously you had many addictive behaviors. I love how you say that your number one drug dealer was your doctor. We had people tell stories that like, they come to the doctor, it’s I have a headache.

Here’s an antidepressants I have, I. You name it, anything is antidepressant is just in case, so what, obviously your father leaving maybe something else, were you able through your medicine path to find the root cause of of all the addiction that pain that, that is driving you, was driving you to substances and behaviors?

Austin West: It was absolutely my father walking out. I think that was the pivotal moment in seeking a lot of these distracting and numbing behaviors, which that’s my definition of addiction. I think even people today, society today has a the wrong view of what addiction is. Addiction has nothing to do with the substance.

So we have convinced ourselves that as long as I’m not shooting up meth every single day, I’m not an addict. An addiction is just a reoccurring abuse or behavior that is leading to numbness or distraction. And so I am convinced that 90% of us are addicted. Whether that’s social media, the work, AOL or tv or fighting in a relationship, whatever it is.

So a side note, but my addictions all stemmed from that because I was trying to numb and distract myself from the pain of my father leaving because he was my best friend. I went to work every weekend with him from the time I was probably four years old, up until he left. He was self-employed, and so every weekend we spent together on nights we’d be playing basketball or other games in the street.

We played chess together all the time. There’s just so much. Of my life leading up to that point that was involved in, he came to all my sporting events and my games and then all of a sudden he was gone. And it, because it was such a surprise, I think the way it is handled, the society really determines the outcomes of kids.

Are you treating your kids like adults? Are you having a conversation like, Hey, we’re not happy, we’re going to counseling. This is what’s coming up for us, or are you ignoring everything? All of the symptomology of that tormenting relationship, are you attempting to hide that from the kids? But our nervous systems are picking up on it anyway, so we can tell something is going on, but if our parents are front facing that it’s okay.

And then one day randomly, your dad walks out. He called my mom on her lunch break and told her so she wasn’t even aware that it was happening that day. So that level of trauma from that event, the shock of the event. Is what spun me in all those behaviors. From there, I think it just piles on top of each other, right?

I think the alcohol started, but then the group I got ingrained with because of the alcohol, introduced a new behavior and a new behavior. And a new behavior, and it just started rolling. And so I think that traumas can compound over a lifetime. I think getting to the root cause is important, but then you needing to understand that there might be branches off of that original root trauma that have been created.

That is what the medicine path has been really unhelped or helping me unravel. And then even the understanding of like even take the divorce out of it, the dynamics of that I had with my parents are reflected in my relationship. So the relationship I had with my mom growing up has reflected as certain big T little t traumas on say the relationship I with Jillian, like not feeling the level of nurturing and presence I needed from the feminine growing up.

I then project those wounds onto Jillian. So the father is I think, the big catalyst that led me to a lot of these abuses and behaviors. But understanding it, it stems from a much earlier age. I think that most of our patterning and programming really starts in that first seven years. What Bruce Lipton calls the.

You’re in a developmental stage where you’re in hypnosis for seven years. You’re just picking up on everything around you. And yes, the father wound was big and I learned what love was. In the first seven years. I learned what the feminine dynamic was, what the masculine dynamic was, how to hold space, how to express, how to be intimate.

All of those were learned in the se first seven years, which I’ve spent quite a bit of time with my medicine work unraveling that as well.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s we all have some kind of trauma and I have a similar trauma, of abandonment and betrayal, so to speak, and also a bit of a mother one. It’s I identified when I was getting ready for this podcast, I identified a lot with with your story.

So it’s really interesting how we can find people that mirror, mirror ourselves. You also. Talk about, erectile dysfunction and porn addiction. That’s not a topic we talk about a lot on this podcast. I don’t think I’ve ever said word porn before, maybe. I don’t know. But it’s something that I that I wanna talk about that that definitely I have been addicted to porn.

I didn’t think I was addicted to porn until I tried quitting porn. First time, maybe about 10 years ago. I just got lucky. I found some weird forum on internet and they’re just like if you’re not addicted, then try it. I was like, oh my God, I’m addicted. The reality is like these days, especially with males, like 99.9% are addicted to porn.

Unless you’re, I don’t know, unless you don’t have internet or you’re blind or something like that, you are addicted to porn and, quitting important for me was this big catalyst for basically all the other good things that happened in my life afterwards. But yeah. Talk to us about this. What, how did you find out you were addicted?

How did you quit? What did you learn there and have you ever had any plat medicine encounters on the topic?

Austin West: Yeah, I think it’d start back with the steroids caused. Because the hormones were so over the place and I ended up getting Ed at such a young age, I had such a fear of intimacy with women because I wasn’t sure what would happen.

I had, I think my first time I had issues with performance. I think I was 18, maybe I was 19 at that time. It was towards the end of high school. And so that just instilled in me a story that I was gonna be broken forever and that fear of intimacy, that fear of dating. And here I was also like a party animal.

So I’m going out every weekend, and when you’re young, the entire point of going out is to meet women, right? And really getting involved in the hookup culture. But I was terrified of that at the same time. So porn was somewhere I turned to find that eroticism and that pleasure and that charge. But what fueled it was that I was so afraid to go interact with women and get that in any other aspect or regard.

I didn’t start watching porn then it, it started when I was 12 years old. I remember, I think I was in seventh grade the first time I watched and I. The difficulty with it is it builds in these natural ways of seeing the world in intimacy, in sex that I think are radically damaging to the male psyche.

With the objectification of women, with the unrealistic expectations of what intimacy are, what sex is, what the physical, what the. Physical form of a woman is. And so not only did I suffer from the addiction of porn and what that does to your dopamine and your distractions, and it’s like running in the background and thinking about it all day, but it affected how I looked at women as well.

It affected how I showed up in relationships, what my expectations were sex were, how quick I was to want to jump to sex. Not really building that relationship with my partner prior to engaging in that, right? Even before foreplay, it’s like really getting present. So poor disrupted many aspects and areas of my life.

It never came up specifically in a medicine ceremony. Not the topic of it or the energy of it, but I had to work with through so many of my intimacy and sex wounds. From what it caused. That in a way it did. It made me look at the aspects of myself that were so afraid of being vulnerable and open-hearted in an intimate container because I convinced myself that the way pornography was my desire.

It was ultimately what I wanted to fulfill, but I was really outsourcing my desire to something that I had been training myself was correct and proper. Because that’s all I was filling my head with, and so I not never got to actually be in my body like, oh how does this feel? If I eliminate this energy for my life, how can I view my partners more beautiful, more embodied, more attractive, be turned on by her more?

By eliminating these alternate in a lot of times, fake perspectives and views of what women are in my life. It was a long journey. The ed addiction was a really big part of that too. Because I wouldn’t have sex unless I took one of these pills. And I remember right towards the end of ending that addiction and realizing pornography was such a big deal is I had a woman that was gonna come over one night and I remembered, I sat on my bed and opened up my nightstand and I took out my bottle of, I think I had Cialis at that time.

I went to take a pill and I just burst out and started crying because I had felt so captured. Here I was at 30 years old, 30 or 31, being a complete slave to something outside of myself with no relationship to what intimacy and sex really is and how divine it really is and the depth of pleasure can really bring us.

I just started weeping and I went to the toilet. I dumped all the pills down the toilet. I texted that girl and asked her not to come over anymore, and then I started a two year stint of abstinence in that abstinence without the pills, without the other women to distract myself with. That’s when the pornography addiction really arose because like you said it’s when there’s less distractions, even when you try to quit, you start to realize how loud the energy of that.

That abuse is in my life. And so over that two year stint of abstinence is when I really had to come to terms with a lot of different things. The attempt to eliminate porn for my life showed me how shameful I felt about my sexual desires and eroticism my own sexual energy. I felt guilty about.

My relationship with those. So the avenue of trying to eliminate porn for my life, which the medicine showed me, these pills were making me slave and the intimacy and sex issues, it really helped me uncover a lot of that deep shame and guilt and trauma had around my own sexuality. And then, yeah, man, my, my quitting journey probably took me a year and a half.

It was a lot of ups and downs. It was a lot of, I would have a two week streak and then I’d be two weeks back on. It was a lot of beating myself and punishment, which doesn’t help the, trying to eliminate that addiction in any way. And it was difficult and the rewards I’ve been able to get by eliminating that addiction from my life have been pretty profound.

And it sounds like you’ve experienced the same things. My, my energy, the way I see my woman in relationship, the way I interact with sex, the slowness, I’m able to enter in any sort of. Erotic space is so much more fulfilling. I’m so much more connected to God in these spaces now. Performance anxiety and performance issues left as soon as the porn was exited for my life.

The objectification of women, emerge just when I would watch a lot of porn. I’d be at the gym just looking at women and objectifying them, and it felt gross. It didn’t feel embodied, it didn’t feel like I was. In my divine masculine, to use the term people understand, but standing postured in am I making women feel safe or am I making them feel objectified?

And so being able to eliminate so much of that from my life by eliminating porn, I mean it was radically life altering.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Thank you for sharing this. I think porn is absolutely a disease. One of the many diseases we unfortunately have as a society. It’s something that has been normalized and you’re like, I remember even when I was younger, I was like, I was suspicious about this whole porn thing, but everyone would say yeah, like you have to have an orgasm at least such and such amount of times, or you get prostate.

So it’s kinda almost like a healthy necessary thing. But yeah. So tell us about then, in this sort of dark night of a soul, you somehow stumbled upon mushrooms and your initial resistance to working with psychedelics.

Austin West: Yeah. The microdose I took at the beach from my friends was my first introduction.

Obviously, that is the very entry level to what this path can bring. Within three months of that first. Mushroom chocolate. I took, I was able to quit Adderall, quit my Xanax, stopped taking all my anxiety medication. So a, an intentional microdosing practice helped me get off many of my pharmaceuticals.

But it was a year from that date before I ever did my first guided journey. I ended up finding I was talking to a buddy at a Christmas party and was just expressing to him that, yeah, this microdosing has changed my life in so many ways, but I’m still depressed. I still hold a lot of anxiety.

I still don’t feel fulfilled or like I have purpose in life. I’m still chasing money. I’m still chasing women. There’s so many things it was mixed up in, and this friend I had been to Australia with this kid. I’ve traveled the world with him and which is why I was comfortable opening up and he casually mentions, Hey, you should start working with my dad.

He’s an underground psychedelic therapist. And I was like, what? It was a shock to hear this friend of all people, his dad was a. Psychedelic therapist. Within two months of that date, I had my first guided psychedelic therapy session. I was actually with MDMA. One thing that he had told me is before I was able to progress into mushrooms, that I had to remember what it was like to feel again, especially as a man in our society and culture, we have been robbed of what it means to really feel ourselves, to feel others, to hold empathy.

To be in tune and attuned to our emotional state, to be able to harness the wisdom and the teachings that come from that. We’ve been disconnected from it. And for good reason, because a man in his power is the man that is in touch with his emotions. So after the MDMA session really reconnected me with my emotions, I remember crying for the first time in years, like a visceral, deep grief stricken cry.

I was able to release a lot. And then every three to four months, for the next three years I worked with that teacher with Bufo, with psilocybin ketamine and many other medicines. I believe each medicine has a different consciousness to it. They have, they’re different teachers to us in a different way, and they’re here to help us uncover parts of ourselves in different ways.

And so by having that safe container with one teacher and one guide. To experience a lot of these medicines in the entry level way. It opened up a lot for me.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The way you’re describing with your friend’s father being exactly what you’re looking for is this very typical example of a synchronicity.

So once you start working with psychedelics, I think they, they become more and more common. And regarding like feeling again my, in my first dance ceremonies with Ayahuasca, my intention was. Then half of them was like connecting to my emotions and before ever working with Ayahuasca, maybe cried one time in 10 years superficially.

And after starting to work with Ayahuasca I’ve unlocked my ability to cry. Not on demand and not not too much still, but when I need it, it comes up and I can embrace it, so it’s really nice. So talk to us about those two things, the synchronicities and ability to feel again, how this journey was.

So whichever one appeals to you more.

Austin West: Yeah. I love the concept of synchronicity. Especially from the Carl Young lens, right? Like synchronicity is your soul telling you’re on the right path. It is a way of discovering that you’re in alignment. It is a way of your subconscious, your psyche, your soul, what the Greeks called your Damon, right?

The Greeks believe that all of us are born with this sort of guardian spirit that loves us more than anything in this life, and its entire purpose is to guide us towards our truth. And our dharma, and often I think we’re using a lot of different words for the same things. All of those are different aspects of linking to synchronicity, right?

There’s something within us that triggers this bridging of the unconscious and the conscious mind that feels like deja vu. That feels like coincidence. That feels like an accident, but none of those things actually exist. Synchronicity is what I use to make sure and tune into the alignment I have in life.

Like speaking that I want something for, from the universe or for the universe. Then all of a sudden I have a person fall into my life that aligns with that vision I’m trying to create. That’s not an accident because I spoke it and I teach this framework in my work called The Law of Attunement, and it’s essentially it’s a.

A framework of understanding the pec nature of reality and consciousness and how it relates to our truth, our desire, our life experiences and ultimately our personal evolution. And once you understand this framework, it unlocks what I call the creator archetype. And so from the sea of the creator archetype, you can build the life you want.

Whatever you want, I believe you can have it. Synchronicity is at the root of all of this, what synchronicity is and where it falls in my. Into my practice is I have these four pillars of the law of attunement. It’s truth, desire, catalyst, and wisdom, and catalyst is every single event that happens in your life, every moment, every experience, every conversation, every leaf that falls off that tree outdoors is happening with such a profound level of purpose to it.

All of it meant towards driving you to your evolution. In the quickest and most rapid way it can. That is how the universe conspires for us. If we’re, if we allow ourselves to attune our consciousness, to accept the perfection of the universe, and that all of these things are happening in a profound way, then we start to look at every single moment as something we can learn from.

’cause if we’re learning, we’re evolving. Synchronicity slide in right there. In my work I tell people, synchronicities is one of the first things I want to start. Attune your reality and awareness to stop using the language. Wow, that’s crazy, or I can’t believe that happened because you’re starting to reject the signs of the divine.

Clearly, and obviously presenting themselves as in your line, telling you to keep going that direction. That’s how I incorporate my work with synchronicity. That’s how I relate to synchronicity. That’s my belief in synchronicity is one of the, it is one of the most catalytic, powerful aspects of reality that we can tune into to let us know that we’re getting that much closer to our dharma and our purpose.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s, it’s a great explanation. If we, if you talk about creator mindset or creator mentality and then as opposed to victim mentality. I think most of us, most of the people live in a victim mentality, and I, I would like to believe I’m no longer there, but still it comes up.

It’s always kinda oh, you did this to me, thus is your fault and I’m the victim. It’s really hard to reprogram yourself you can and it’s possible, but definitely takes time. I’m more commonly now when something happens, I’m like where is the lesson there? But it’s definitely took a while to, to make this program work.

So this view of creator mentality and also you mentioned the word soul and the fact that, everything there is, there’s some reason behind this existence and maybe. Some kinda learning and the reason you went through the suffering when you were younger, you had to learn something to basically become stronger so you can now have this information and pass it on.

What do you think about that? And yeah, tell us about this.

Austin West: Yeah, I like to look at this from the concept. There’s a really powerful spiritual teaching that. Actually I consider this spiritual teaching. It’s a channeled text to be one of my ayahuasca integrations. That’s how powerful this text was for me.

And it’s called the Law of One. And the law of one believes that in, in our souls come here with a specific set of karma in circumstances that we’re here to learn. And through learning, that is the only way to evolve. And it looks at karma. In a similar way to Buddhas Buddhist Karma what the Buddha was actually saying.

And I think a lot of people misinterpret Buddha’s teachings of karma. Buddha doesn’t believe that souls are infinite in the sense of I am rebirthing my own soul. So I am actually, my soul is the one carrying the karma for our souls are born into a karma that we are living out. So there’s this separation of the past life aspect, which I think is really fascinating when you dive into it.

But the law of one is a little bit different. It’s assuming that the energy of karma is the soul in a way. And so when I was born into this existence, I chose my parents because they were going to deliver me the exact lessons I needed to learn from my evolution. And the entire purpose in the law of one is graduating or evolving through these densities.

It believes that there’s seven densities. That build essentially all of consciousness and all of reality throughout the entire universe. And we as human beings are in the third density. And our job is to learn the lessons required to evolve into the fourth density, which aligns with the heart chakra. So it’s embodying wisdom, it’s embodying love, and living holy and solely from that place.

So when I think of the soul. I connect to my soul and I work on listening to my soul. And even when I pair things like the Greek mythology, the Damon, I use that a lot in my work as well. I believe my soul already knows exactly who it is, what it’s here to do, what its purpose is to fulfill and has the teachings incarnated with ready to be learned.

My job is to get out of its way. And I think this is where the ego comes in and creates this separatist mentality that we are not actually a fractal piece of the same divinity that created all of this. If I allow myself to live in that experience, that I am a fractal of the infinite intelligence, the one infinite creator, right?

It’s bigger than what I think any, not any religion. I think Taoism explains it perfectly. It’s the everything. It’s the unknowable. That is the only way it can be that powerful is if it’s actually unknowable. If I trust that I am part of that unknowable, then my soul came here with a specific mission to fulfill, to get closer to me, knowing as close as I possibly can to what that unknowable everything, the Unknowable Infinite is.

So my relationship with the soul is trying to get out of its way. And this is what I do with my medicine work. It’s why I have a meditative practice. It’s why I have a breath practice. It’s why I spend an hour in devotion every single morning. It’s why I journal. ’cause it’s the best way that we can converse with God, which is our ourself, which is that soul.

And so I think religion has corrupted the meaning of soul in a lot of ways. It’s this, it’s good or bad, you’re gonna heaven or hell. They’ve taken a lot of the. Power away from the benefit of relating to your soul in a way as you’re guiding light, not just something that’s going to go to heaven or hell.

I grew up Christian, so that’s just my framework and how I’m explaining this. But the soul is something to be listened to. It already knows it, it has its mission, it has its direction. And if we actually bring in synchronicity to the conversation of soul. If I, my belief is the soul already knows exactly what I’m here to do.

Synchronicity is the way of my energetic being, and maybe even my ego coming in a deeper alignment with what that soul’s mission is. And so if we pair the idea of synchronicity with the understanding that our soul is bringing us to the. The most abundant, fulfilling, joyful, pleasurable, erotic, ecstatic, open experience of life that’s possible for us.

And it’s about developing these techniques with the meditation, the breath work, synchronicity to just find a way of listening to it as best we can.

Sam Believ: And you mentioned as you’re reading this text, you were integrating your Ayahuasca experience. Talk to us about your Ayahuasca experience and, how was it different from your mushroom experience?

Austin West: Yeah, ayahuasca. My first one was two years ago, April so almost three years ago. It’ll be three years. This April actually, I’m sorry, yeah, 2022. So March of 2022. I wanted my first Ayahuasca retreat in Peru, sacred Valley. It was four different journeys that retreat.

So we sat with the medicine four nights of Tibo the Tibo lineage, and the first night I took Ayahuasca. The first night I drank within two hours of ceremony starting Ayahuasca told me I had cancer and it. Happened in the way of those old Begay commercials. I don’t if you remember ’em, this is probably from like the nineties, and they’d put this like outline of a human on the screen and then they just have this like blinking red thing to, to represent where the person was having pain and rub the begey on here and your pain will go away.

A really simplistic thing, but it like, IO showed me my body and it showed me right on my right lung slash liver and it was just blinking red. Through the energetics of the interaction with ayahuasca was telling me I have cancer. Or if I don’t take care of the grief and the anger and the rage I’m holding onto this will metastasize and become cancer.

I’m a big believer in Gabor mate’s work and even Zach Bush’s work, where to put their extensive theories, very simplistically that. All disease and cancer are manifestations, energetic manifestations in the physical form of some sort of deep root, deep rooted trauma. I believe that emotions are the aspects of the energetic body that are physically manifest into cancer.

And so it’s not an accident that, especially when you look at things like Chinese medicine, that we hold energies in certain aspects of our body. So for a lot of people that have a lot of grief that they haven’t processed, they get lung cancer, right? So this grief is held in the lungs. Different aspects like that.

We can go throughout the entire body. Fear is held in the kidneys and different aspects of what’s held. So I had so much grief from my father walking out that was on process. Of course, I’m experiencing all of this pain and the suffering in Ayahuasca telling me that this will convert into cancer if I don’t take care of this.

And I believed it. It felt like one of the most true things I’d ever experienced on any medicine in any event in my entire life up until that point. After it told me that, after grandmother told me that I was transported back into the memory of the day, my father left, I was reliving the event to such a level of vivid specificity that it reminded me of the grief.

That I was stricken with that day, that I had not been processing, that all of those addictions and be abuses were numbing me from, I remember being transported back to my body, looking at my dad when he told me. I saw myself walk down the hall. I saw myself get into my bed laying the fetal position on my right side and cried until my mom got home.

And it, of course it was masculine, so it’s on the right side of my body. It’s anger and grief. So it’s, of course it’s on where the liver and the lungs are and it became an undeniable yeah the other three ceremonies were really powerful. The rest of that retreat and. Ayahuasca is really when I began tearing my life down four months after I got home from that retreat this is a couple years into my medicine work, I logged into my email one day.

I had a full blown panic attack ’cause I knew I was unhappy. I hated my job. I hated the life I was living. I hated the money chase and. Ayahuasca since I got home from that retreat was dripping on me. You need to leave. You need to leave. You need to leave. And I just wasn’t listening until one day I had that panic attack, fell to the floor, and then I got up, quit my job in the spot, and I sold my house six weeks later to walk away from everything I had built.

Half a million dollar job, my team, my million dollar beach house condo. I walked away from all of it because Ayahuasca was clearly telling me, this is what’s gonna kill me. This is part of the distraction. This is part of the numbness. If you don’t walk away and give this up, everything I showed you will manifest as truth.

That was my first sit and then I sat again last April in Costa Rica this time with Shabo, and yeah, had probably the most difficult medicine experience I’d ever had in my life.

Sam Believ: That sounds very painful and very traumatic. I think a lot of people that are listening is I’m not sure if I’m not sure about this ayahuasca thing, if it’s gonna make me quit my job or quit my relationship or discover some trauma and stuff like that. I wanna talk a little bit about that because I think we’re all very afraid of changing our life and afraid of big change.

But I think that. In your case, and I do believe that what you’re saying is correct because out of like thousands of people we hosted, so far, only one person ever said ayahuasca told me I have cancer. So it’s not like a really common thing to happen. And yeah, it told you like, yeah, if you.

Don’t improve your act, there, there will be a problem. So it’s very valuable. You could probably test it by not changing anything, but w would you take the risk? There’s nothing wrong with finding an issue or quitting a job or quitting a relationship. If it meant to happen, it will happen.

And on the opposite as well, sometimes the medicine will show you what to do. Maybe a relationship you should have or a job you should have. So how has your life been since making those drastic changes? Are you content with the result? Do you ever regret it?

Austin West: No. It was the best decision I ever made, even in the unknowing what I was going to do next.

I just trusted, and that’s one of the most powerful benefits I’ve had from my medicine work is just the. Level in which I allow myself to surrender to what life is bringing me, and I trust the hell out of the divine. I trust that no matter what, I’m gonna be taken care of no matter what. I’m gonna be safe.

And walking through life with that level of trust has opened up everything I hoped it would, and Ayahuasca was absolutely impactful in allowing me to live in that level of trust and surrender. And it’s not easy. And I used to be really timid on how I told these stories ’cause I’m like, I wanna bring more people to the path.

But if I tell the story in the way that it actually happened, it might scare people from the path. And it’s then it’s not for you. If you know that you are not happy living the life you are, if you are not in the relationship you desire, if you’re not having the sex you desire, if you’re not making the money you desire, if you know you’re numbing and addicting yourself and distracting yourself from getting to the root of why you’re feeling the way you are.

If you’re suffering from anxiety or depression, if you have disease where cancer, if any of these things are happening in your life, ayahuasca can only bring you closer to wholeness. It may be difficult and that is exactly what you need. The difficulty I experienced in all of my ayahuasca ceremonies are the very reason I can trust and surrender the way I do now.

They are the reasons I have the a relationship with God I’ve never had before. They are the reasons I’ve been able to heal things that I struggled with and suffered from for nearly my entire life. Earlier when I was talking about. I believe that each of these medicines have their own consciousness to ’em and directive.

Essentially, it’s I believe mushrooms are the ultimate connector. MD MA is the ultimate feeler. LSD is the ultimate seer. I believe Ayahuasca is the ultimate healer that there has been no medicine that has brought me the level of healing and trust and perspective and embodiment that Ayahuasca has brought me.

These fears we have the fear of what if it’s going to blank. That fear is the thing that’s keeping you trapped in your own suffering of your own making. And so when we choose to lean into the fear, that’s when we finally become free. So when I walked away that day, I didn’t know what I was gonna do, but I knew I was free from everything that I had been self imposing that was keeping me stuck and restricted in a life that I no longer wanted to live.

Once I was able to walk away, I energetically opened up space for something new to come in. And as we evolve our ourselves and our state of consciousness, we’re now, Tesla talked about this, like when you start to understand the universes energy, frequency and vibration, everything will change as we evolve our state of consciousness, which is what psychedelics are doing.

We’re evolving our state of energy, vibration, and frequency. And so when we call in a new desire for ourselves, I no longer desire to work a purposeless job. I have to leave that old job for the universe to bring me the energy that aligns with where I’m vibrating now. But when we evolve and we keep ourselves in our old patterns, behaviors, thoughts, addictions, frequencies, friends, jobs, relationships, this is where discomfort comes in.

I want to be here. I want more for myself, but I’m actually staying here because I’m not releasing myself from any of these thoughts, behaviors, actions, addictions, friends, relationships, and in that gap of what I want and where I am are the manifestations of cancer, disease, anxiety, depression. PTSD. PTSD is a little different, but it’s still a manifestation of a symptom, right?

That jump I took was the realization that there is so much in my life that is not no longer aligned with who I believe myself to truly be that I have to be willing to let it go or I’m never gonna have the life I want.

Sam Believ: So speaking of the life you want, I know you have a project microdosing company. Tell us about that.

Austin West: Yeah. Microdosing changed my life and. I have made it my mission to use that practice to help change other people’s lives too. And so I’ve been called to work with the medicine. So I started a company called Antheil six. We have, right now we have six formulas out. We have nine total that have been developed.

We have built formulas that integrate Chinese and Ayurvedic medicinal knowledge. So the herb and plant knowledge from those two medicine lines that can trace back thousands of years. We blend those with the psilocybin to create these synergistic blends that target very specific lifestyle applications, use cases or therapeutic applications.

And so for an example, we have one called Mood in Mind. It’s an Adderall replacement, right? So all of the herbs and ingredients in there help our cognitive function. They open up creativity, they open up a sense of presence, they open up memory focus. Which are essentially what we’re told Adderall gives us, but it gives us one of those things and all these side effects too.

And so using the natural medicine of the earth that we know for a fact produces the same. Benefits, integrating that with the synergistic effects of psilocybin. And now we’ve created an Adderall replacement for people or a blend that’s great for artists that are wanting to be more creative or present in their work or more attuned.

And so we have a whole line. We have one for anxiety. We have one for depression, we have one for intimacy. We have one for energy and performance, so people that really, that have obesity, that are really struggling to be motivated. You don’t need a statin, you don’t need an obesity drug, you need a lifestyle intervention.

You need behavioral change. And so developing these blends that really target behavior change through neuroplasticity, neurogenesis, glu, and gaba, quieting of the default mode network, all of these things that science is now showing psilocybin does in the brain. I think that’s one aspect of it though. I think what microdosing is also doing is it’s working on the.

Mind, body, and the soul. Our current paradigm of medicine is broken because it’s only operating on the body. It is detracted from the aspects of reality in nature that there is a soul or a spirit, and there is a mind, right? Everything is mind manifest. So belief systems, thought forms, and so Microdosing also operates on those by bringing you a sense of presence, which I believe is spirit.

All we have is the now. It’s the only thing that exists. By bringing us into the present moment, we can look at our life from a different lens and different perspective. And then in the mind these things directly target the ruminating mind that keeps us in the past, that projects us into the future that creates these stories and belief systems that are so radically untrue.

But those are what anchor us in place and prevent us from evolving. So I believe that micro doses are the future of mental health. I believe that they are absolutely replacements for pharmaceutical drugs, and that’s why we’ve built the blends the way we have. And I believe it’s a way of helping us develop our truth.

Psychedelics in general, whether that’s a microdose or microdose, are agents of change, and it’s the greatest tool we have for developing and enhancing awareness. If I’m stuck in life, if I don’t know why I feel the way I do, when I microdose in that presence, in the quieting of the rumination, in the mental benefits that it’s giving me, I can view my life from a frame of truth because I have awareness with everything else coming offline, I can now be aware like, oh, I’m so anxious because I go to a job I hate every day.

I’m anxious because I’m in a relationship where I don’t think I can freely express my truth and my desire, so I don’t feel seen. And so every time I speak and I don’t feel seen, I’m projecting that on a relationship which pre projects as anxiety ’cause I feel trapped, right? All, all of the symptomology we suffer from.

There’s a, there’s an underlining truth that we need to come to terms with before we can adequately move forward with building a relationship with that aspect of our suffering. When we intentionally microdose, it’s also a catalyst of us helping recognize our truth. So I’ve been called to, to serve this medicine as my mission because it’s the thing that changed my life more than everything.

I don’t believe ayahuasca is for everybody. I don’t believe taking five gram hero dose of mushrooms for everybody. I do not believe buffo is for everybody. I do believe microdosing when used intentionally in community with guidance. Can be revolutionary for everyone, and that’s one of the biggest differences in how we use these medicines.

Sam Believ: I feel you microdosing changed your life. So you started a microdosing company? Ayahuasca changed my life. I started an Ayahuasca retreat and an Ayahuasca podcast, and I’m also on a mission. I do disagree though. I think Ayahuasca is not for everyone, but I think ayahuasca is almost for everyone. If you do it right, everyone can find the time.

But I think there, there is a match made in heaven for something like one ayahuasca retreat a year and then some microdosing in between and some therapy and some yoga and meditation. There is this perfect modality that everyone has to discover for themselves, and I’m a big fan of microdosing, but I also am a big fan of ayahuasca, where can people find more about your microdosing company and also about your yourself and how it can get, how can the people get in touch with you?

Austin West: Yeah, through my main website, you can branch to my men’s retreats, my microdose company. It’s I am austin west.com. And you’ll have links to everything.

So more information about my teachings, my work, my offerings, my microdose company and anything else they’d have questions on.

Sam Believ: Perfect. Thank you, Austin. Thank you for this episode. I think it was really insightful and people will enjoy it.

Austin West: Yeah, appreciate you having me on, brother.

Sam Believ: Guys, you’re listening to Ayahuasca podcast.

As always, we do the Hall of Sam and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information.

Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by LoRa Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

Podcast Bio – Ayahuasca Podcast: Sam Believ with Lex Pelger

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Lex Pelger.

Lex Pelger is a science communicator, writer, and educator specializing in psychedelics, cannabis, and human consciousness. With a background in biochemistry and molecular biology, he bridges complex scientific research with the public. Lex has authored graphic novels about cannabis, led storytelling events on psychedelics, and currently publishes Cannabinoids and the People, a newsletter covering the latest cannabinoid science.

We touch upon topics of:

  • (00:48 – 02:42) Lex’s journey into psychedelics and plant medicine
  • (02:56 – 04:50) Science, mysticism, and the study of the “supernormal”
  • (05:28 – 07:13) What it means to be a “drug writer” and bridging the knowledge gap
  • (07:44 – 10:08) Cannabis and grandmothers: why older adults should consider cannabinoids
  • (10:51 – 12:46) Social and cultural impact of cannabis in families
  • (13:52 – 18:55) The power of storytelling vs. clinical studies in changing perceptions
  • (19:30 – 20:55) Psychedelics as a cultural tool: structured rites of passage in society
  • (21:12 – 23:36) Challenges in visually depicting psychedelic experiences in media
  • (24:49 – 27:41) Lex’s personal Ayahuasca experience in New York
  • (28:43 – 29:54) Traditional vs. modern Ayahuasca ceremonies
  • (30:45 – 33:37) “We are drugs” – the role of endogenous psychedelics in human experience
  • (34:30 – 38:48) Understanding the Endocannabinoid System and its role in homeostasis
  • (38:53 – 44:24) Lex’s favorite cannabinoids and their unique properties
  • (44:53 – 50:39) The benefits and science of CBD: anxiety, pain, neuroprotection & sleep
  • (50:48 – 53:40) Cannabis, autism, and groundbreaking cases of psychedelic therapy
  • (53:51 – 55:39) Lex’s work, books, and research contributions

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com.

Find more about Lex Pelger at http://www.lexpelger.com and his Substack newsletter, Cannabinoids and the People. You can also follow his cannabinoid science updates at CVResearch.info.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Lex Pelger: We are just these like psychopharmacological beans that are just a wash in drugs constantly. We have drugs who wake us up in the morning. We have drugs that make the food taste good. We have drugs to make the sex good, so we have more babies. We have drugs to, I think even for.

Finding the divinity or the oneness of everything, which is, the constant lesson that people get out of psychedelics, specifically ayahuasca, as I’m sure I know, I remember one Chapman being like, the idea that people just wake up like this and they’re like, the earth matters. Nature matters.

We are all connected. It’s just one of the most important things to come out of this. And the idea that these plant medicines, the reason we chose them is ’cause we already have them and that they’re only helping us to do what we were already designed to do. And if we misuse them, it wears the way of that part of what we were trying to do.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to ayahuasca podcast.com. As always with you, the whole Sam belief. Today I’m having a conversation with Lex Ger. Lex is a science communicator, writer, and educator with a focus on psychedelics cannabis and human consciousness. He has a background in biochemistry, molecular biology, and uses his experience to bridge the gap between complex scientific research and the public.

Lex is known for his work in demystifying the science behind plant medicines and their therapeutic uses. In this episode, we talk about what it means to be a drug writer connection between science and spirituality, why grandma should use cannabis, endocannabinoid deficiency, psychedelic storytelling, indigenous versus Western approaches, C, B, D, cannabis and autism and more.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Lex. Welcome to the show. Ah, thanks. Having me on. Lex can you tell us a little bit about your story and what brought you to this line of work with psychedelics and plant medicines?

Lex Pelger: Yeah, it’s pretty classic, really. A pretty normal trajectory. I was always fascinated by science ever since I learned about punt squares in seventh grade and genetics. And I probably would’ve remained an atheistic, rationalist, materialist scientist until in university I took some magic mushrooms and went on a walk with some friends around Boston on the Freedom Trail actually, and.

They just opened my mind in the way that they do for a lot of people and made me a slightly less rationalist. Materialist and a little bit more mystical. And so they just continued to fascinate me more and more. And so once I moved to New York after college, I got into the scene there and talked to other people who were using it, and I started to become a drug writer.

Through the course of this, I was always, I always loved books and writing. And this my angle became knowing the neurochemistry of what was happening, but also knowing all the stories out in the world of people using it for underground healing, but also people using it for partying and kind of what happens at the very intentional use as well as the very, very hedonistic use and all the different ways that people can go.

And so that’s how I would try to explain it to people. Eventually my focus shifted more to cannabis mostly ’cause people said you have to, you have to have a book, you should write your first book. And so I chose cannabis as my first thing to write a book on. ’cause I thought it would be fast, which was my great hubris because then it was five years just to even get the basics of the human history of cannabis and the depths of the endocannabinoid system.

But I ended up writing some graphic novels about that actually based on Moby Dick. And that’s still how I’m trying to explain that. But yeah, it was pretty, pretty classic. Scientists sees the light because of psychedelics and they changed his life for the better kind of story.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Thank you for sharing that.

As a scientist, I think there’s this interesting phenomenon when they say science is all rational, as long as you allow them one miracle, like the big Bang, for example. Do you have any, do you have any

Lex Pelger: thoughts about that? Yeah, for sure. Because I’m still working on this long graphic novel series, I’m gonna do 135 books like the 135 chapters of Moby Dick, but I’m already researching what my next books are gonna be about and it is the super normal or supernatural, because most, I started reading Jeffrey Kreel, a researcher out of rice, and realized the data around telepathy and ESP and.

Reincarnation and all of this stuff is just robust and along with entities and all that stuff. And all of a sudden I learned more about this and it’s oh, here’s a field of science that’s been ignored since the real research started around the 1880s. And I’m like, oh, here’s another realm where science is yet fearing to tread.

And if you even try to do research in this you get shut down immediately. The success of that new podcast, the Telepath tapes. Is a good testament to that. But also the art the author really, like Arthur Kessler, was a great science writer and talked about the the blind spot of the earth going around the sun and how humans could have broken through on that well before the Renaissance and just didn’t.

And they always held it there as a blind spot. And he saw a similar blind spot around this interconnectedness, radio between us, whatever it is. Mostly I with that stuff, I feel like it’s fun because I’m never gonna find a real answer. Anyone who studies this stuff knows that. But the more and more you study the phenomena and you hear the theories out there, the more you get closer to some kind of semblance of what might be going on.

Like in so many fields, I’m just, I’ve been reading the phenomena around the supernormal for, five years now, and just starting to get a sense of how wide it is and how fascinated it is.

Sam Believ: Understanding completely. I myself, I’m not a scientist, but I am an engineer by trade, so for me work with plant medicines also made me ask a lot of questions and, my worldview’s a very different one from what it used to be, but in a way that it’s not completely formed yet as you’re saying. There’s there doesn’t seem to be an end to it. It’s this potentially endless exploration. What do you said you’re a drug writer. Can you tell us about what is a drug writer?

Lex Pelger: I focus on trying to explain how these drugs work to people who might be. Curious all the way to pretty against it. I always saw my angle, especially the cannabis work, as trying to convince grandmas that this is the something worth considering for their pain and anxiety and sleep and. Troubles that come along with aging, but also I think to be a good, honest drug writer and science communicator.

You, you want to share the hard side too? So while I’m telling the benefits of grandmas, I’m talking to stoners about all of the clearly proven negatives around cannabis, especially which might be fairly moderate as far as things go, but are certainly there. And I think the way that you can win a reader’s trust is by being as honest as you can about both the benefits and the harms of what you’re talking about, as well as knowing the scientific literature, which is fairly helpful to, in understanding what’s going on around cannabis and psychedelics.

But I always say that the most important stuff about psychedelics especially was figured out by medicine women working in the underground in the seventies, and. All of this new scientific clinical research is great. It has to be done to bring it out into wider acceptance, but it’s a lot of reinventing the wheel and that the best data around psychedelics especially is in the wisdom of talking to people.

Have been working with them for 30 years, especially in a healing ritualistic context, both in the US and indigenous use as well.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s interesting that we are very hesitant at least like scientific world is hesitant to using existing knowledge. Indigenous people literally been doing it for thousands of years and underground, tens of years, but still legit information, but they’re like.

It’s illegal, right? So we need to start from scratch. I don’t know why this is, but tell us why you focus on Grandma so much. Why do grandmas need to smoke weed?

Lex Pelger: One reason is that scientifically it’s the clearest gains, but really it’s a personal reason. My grandmother PA passed from Parkinson’s, just as I was starting to study this and I didn’t know enough to push that.

She should certainly be taking a lot of CB, D at least. She was not the kind of person who probably would’ve tried THC, but a lot of CBD would’ve helped her. And it pains me that I didn’t know enough to try to better convince her to take it and. After I spent five years on the road interviewing people about their use I just heard so many stories of older people.

Older, just being 50 and above. Not that old. I’ll be 50 in eight years. But. How much it helps with not only the aches and pains, but for a lot of the really serious conditions, especially around neurogeneration. And I think the thing it’s most proven for clinically in terms of like standardized science is for MS for multiple sclerosis because that is both a neurodegenerative disease and an autoimmune disorder.

It’s the body. It’s a body’s immune system attacking the myelin sheaths around the neurons that help the electricity to flow. And so in the Venn diagram of what cannabinoids do, they are both very potent for neurogeneration and they’re very potent for autoimmune disorders. And since MS is in the center of that Venn diagram, that’s where you hear about so much benefit.

I know. Our mechanic back home is a really sweet guy, and his wife suffered from MS for a long time and finally started using CBD. And for the first time in years she could run up the stairs again and just go about her day in a completely different kind of way. And the interesting part about the cannabinoids is they’re not always a silver bullet.

That happens sometimes for sure, but they are so often something that helps ease what’s going on. And with their general non toxicity. There’s just so many elderly people who are missing out on cannabis because it’s gonna be the second or third or fourth or fifth thing that their doctor might recommend, and I think it’s really important for.

Any of us to come outta the closet about our cannabis use, especially older people, because you never know who the person you’re talking to might pass it on to someone they know, or it might be them themselves, and they finally start trying it, and it really helps them a lot. So I think that’s where cannabis can do the most help for the world with the, greatest with the least amount of risk.

Sam Believ: But speaking of grandmother as well what about like emotionally or culturally, like the impact of s being able to have those kinds of conversations with your grandparents or the connection that will be formed, because you’re s smoking weed for example. Is there a value in that or just just the medical side of things?

Lex Pelger: I do think there is a big social side and growing closer side that doesn’t get focused on enough. You hear just so often, I’ve heard stories of people who finally came out to their parents or the grandparents about using cannabis and it turns out they were interested or at. They didn’t hate it. And eventually they got to use cannabis together and it was just a beautiful experience and it opened things up.

You hear the same thing about psychedelics, so of course those stories are more rare because the stigma and the fear is stronger there. But for talking to your parents and grandparents about cannabis now, it’s just so much easier, in terms of coming outta the closet. Even 10 years ago, this was a much harder.

Conversation to have. And now everybody’s heard about the CBD thing. That has jumped the shark. And with the, I think the majority of people in the US now in states with medical or legal access, it’s just people get that there’s something there. And studies consistently show that the two greatest trustworthy source of information are your doctors who are still often very dinosaur like around this stuff.

Not always, but often. Then the other source is friends and family. And so talking to people about this, not only could you help them medically, but sometimes those small amounts of THC that these that people start using every day can just help so much with the anxiety or the PTSD or the negative emotions that they’re carrying around.

And being able to share that and help your family I think would be a really beautiful thing. I didn’t do, I didn’t cause a lot, a whole lot of changes in my family. But I wish I had for my grandparents for sure. So I always hope that this, writing, these videos, all this stuff I write a cannabinoid, I write a newsletter called Cannabinoids in the People every week.

And it’s a exhaustive list of all the new cannabinoid science and it’s usually a hundred new papers a week. And. It’s 7,500 words. Nobody’s going through all of that, but I do, my hope is that I get the best of that science out there that otherwise wouldn’t have been seen. And it’s gonna help some people spark a conversation, whether it be MDs or regular readers who are gonna be like, oh, for your thing, look, there’s something new about your thing.

And getting that out there will help, spread the word and make those little bit of changes in the world that help.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Also from the social point of view I know you focus a lot on storytelling, so I can imagine parents or grandparents, that could be pretty, pretty cool storytelling that happens there.

Talk to us about why you focus on storytelling. I know you do storytelling events and storytelling versus clinical studies.

Lex Pelger: I appreciate that you’ve done your background research. Not many people would’ve cat caught the storytelling events because those were seven plus years ago because my firstborn just turned seven.

And so I focus on stories because Plato said those who tell the stories roll the world and. They’re so much more convincing than clinical data. I like the science because that’s how I’m wired, but I know that’s not what convinces people. What convinces people is stories. And so one of the most important or most interesting things to me that I’ve ever done was I was actually trying to promote these graphic novels and so I did a open mic storytelling tour around the US and Canada, and.

Using working with a lot of local psychedelic societies to set up events. And they were beautiful because it wouldn’t, it wasn’t tons of people. It might be 20 to 30 maybe in a big city, 40 people, and you would just put a mic up and let people tell their stories about psychoactives. And generally people would focus on psychedelics, but all the different psychoactives came up.

And the cool part is you can still listen to these stories. They are on the lorenzo Hagerty’s podcast which keeping you the first psychedelic podcast, which just keeping you mind keeping my mind right now. But I have been linked to at at lex paler.com. So I have these audios of these stories.

You can hear them and they’re so convincing. I learned so many things. I had been studying psychedelics hard at that point for a lot of years, and I kept learning stuff from people about how they use psychedelics to make their lives better. And the fascinating part was how the stories. Telling Nights often had a similar trend to them that was just beautiful and perfect and completely unplanned because the first people who would tell stories for like the first half of the night would often be guys who were broadish and had came here because they had a story to tell.

They knew they were gonna talk and they would tell a story about how they discovered psychedelics and how it changed your life. And they’re often, quite interesting stories. But. As a night wore on and people realized what a sweet vibe it was and how accepting everybody was in the event.

People would get up to tell stories and they would say, I’ve never told this to anyone before, or I’ve never told this publicly before. And they would share a story about sometimes a very difficult experience with LSD or Ayahuasca that was not good or didn’t feel good sometimes, months or years later, they would realize what lesson they learned.

But sometimes not, sometimes it was simply hallucinogenic persisting perceptions disorder and it would just be really hard times for months. And they’re not sure less than they got out of it. And people would also tell stories that about how these things healed. Stuff in them that people said was unhealable.

The one thing I kept hearing again, that I hadn’t heard much before was for obsessive compulsive disorder, which is. Not very well treatable with any current tools that we have and people would use. Fair. People are comfortable with psychedelics, and I heard this story half a dozen times over the course of the trip from different people.

They would use a fairly high dose of psychedelics and they would go into it being like, I’m going to reprogram my own brain during this trip and. Dial down this OCD and people would do it sometimes it was one magnificent session that completely changed your life, and sometimes it was working over the course of six months or a year.

But they would use psychedelics very intentionally to rewire their own brain and. The thing about the stories is that’s so much more convincing. You can look at all this science about the neuroplasticity of what psychedelics can do, and there might be some case reports out there, stuff like this. But none of that is very juicy.

That’s not gonna particularly make people think I should put in the work. And the scary work of using psychedelics for my OCD, but if you hear a couple of stories from other people who did that is gonna be so much more convincing. ’cause you’re gonna hear not a dry scientific report but you’re going to hear about a, a.

Rough and tumble, sometimes good, sometimes bad experience of a real person who had to figure out on their own how to get this done. And that’s why I think the stories are so important. And it’s also why I hope that we will build more and more spaces for doing psychedelics together and have cultural containers for them.

In so many of these indigenous spaces. There are certain ways that you do psychedelics, usually around the elders in community, or they set you up to go off on your own and things like that. And I think the best. View of that I’ve ever seen from the Western perspective is Aldis Huxley’s the island. I think it’s the closest thing we have to a blueprint for how psychedelics be well integrated into Western society.

And his idea was you only need half a dozen good trips in your life. Like Alan Watts said, you get. The you get the message, you can hang up the phone. And so the idea that at 18 you do a trip with your, a mom or your priest or your rabbi and in your thirties you do it with a trusted loved one.

And at certain phases in your life, there are cultural containers for, to do a psychedelic to help you figure out how you’re doing and where you’re going is what I would love to see. Come on more and more, and I think it’s happening out there more and more. But I haven’t been in the US for a while and I’ve been more focused on cannabis this last year.

So I think that stuff is happening more and more, but I’m not as tapped into what’s happening in the underground or gray area ground as I used to be.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a really interesting thing to think about, how would society work if psychedelics were a normal part of it? Not a free for all, but culturally appropriate and controlled, but not too much. For example, they say the ancient Greeks were dropping on stuff and they were doing it once a year with the cookie on. I’m just thinking about for normal people. Yeah. A couple times in a lifetime, maybe on a certain events, a rites of passage style way, but for, let’s say somebody who wants to be a politician or something like that, to have a quota of a certain amount of.

I was ca ceremonies or psychedelic experiences so that, that they come to the position of power from a right point of view. Because I think yeah I’m very excited about the idea of using psychedelics as a tool to make our society more sane regarding psychedelic storytelling as well.

I’m, currently working on a documentary with a friend of mine about Ayahuasca, and it’s just it’s extremely hard to show people like what happens in the ceremony because it’s all internal. So storytelling is as close as it gets to be able to convey this information. Do you have any advice for us on storytelling or on visual depictions of psychedelics?

Lex Pelger: That is tough. If you wanted to go to the next mile. There is that Ayahuasca film Blueberry which came out I don’t know how long ago. But apparently I haven’t even watched a film. Apparently it’s not the most amazing film. But the, I have watched the psychedelics scene in that film and it is.

Often called one of the best depictions of what a Aya experience looks like when you’re actually in it. And actually, the last time I was in Paris with a buddy, it turns out that there was a show like that at a museum. And that same creator had made a 3D dimensional show of psychedelics in a headpiece.

You could look around and see, which was an interesting way to do it. It’s about as close as you’re gonna get while being sober, but. It’s true. The visuals of it are really tough and

part of me feels like people mostly. Have a sense of what a psychedelic experience is now because it’s been in the zeitgeist for so long. Back in the fifties when people were doing this, they didn’t know what it was gonna feel like. They didn’t have any like cultural programming about, what it was supposed to be.

And now we do. And. I don’t think the visuals are as important a component of explaining it to people as the storytelling of the really smart people get it. I think the words from a trustworthy old medicine person are gonna be more convincing than, videos of people having their experiences and witnessing a ceremony, for those people, it’s gonna be hard for ’em to talk about it. ’cause they don’t often the people, the regular participants don’t have the words for it ’cause it’s such a hard thing to describe. But for people who’ve been working for with this for a long time, I’ve seen some pretty amazing descriptions of what’s going on.

And so I think. To, to me, the best way to convince people who are interested but nervous about this is to be talking to medicine people about, dur in just a regular conversation about what they see happening, how they think the medicine works, both the theory and the feeling of it and the background of how much work it took them to get there.

But but also I’m glad you’re doing a documentary like that because it helps to spread the word, but yeah, that’s a big, you bit off something big, huh?

Sam Believ: Yeah. I’m not the, I’m not the, I’m not the video guy. I’m just the guy that knows few things about ayahuasca and obviously I, I run an Alaska retreat one of the biggest in Colombian.

Definitely one of the most reputable. So we have access to a lot of people and their stories and surprisingly, people don’t mind sharing. A lot of people after having this life changing experience, they actually want to share, they wanna spread the word. Same as to myself. Like I had the Naas experience that changed my life and now I started a retreat and the podcast, and who knows what else I’m gonna start.

But it’s the desire is to spread the word. You want everyone and your grandma to feel that experience, right? But my friend we were filming it with, he’s a, he’s an Emmy nominated documentary director. Actually like a few days ago, he won another trophy. It’s a cinema. I think it’s like.

It’s a big trophy for documentary people apparently. So I believe in him and he is he’s gonna try Ayahuasca for the first time himself. And he is gonna document he’s, he quit antidepressants. He documenting all of, it’s like a typical story of a somewhat depressed person coming to plant medicines for healing.

And, yeah we’ll get a, there will be many storylines intertwined, like Columbia’s story because we’re located in Columbia and Columbia’s story with, choosing wrong drugs and coca and then how psychedelic tourism started here, but then when somewhere else, because of Narcos and all of this it’s, that’s what the documentary will be about.

So not just about ayahuasca, but also about the larger context. So talking about Ayahuasca, I know you had your own experience and you surprised me because you said you had it in New York.

Lex Pelger: Yeah. Yeah. I was actually hosting at my house. I had a big couch surfing Oasis, and so we had our ceremony c yeah.

There was a person who would come through and they would have the ceremonies at our place. And yeah, it was nice of, of course you hear that you, if you can avoid doing the city you should because all the vibes around, I certainly get that, but at that point in my life, I didn’t have the option and the city was the place.

And we had a good vibes in our apartment. We had a, from all of the hosting of travelers coming through, it just felt like a very safe, warm place because all of our art on the walls. And so it was a really, it was a really nice time. And it for me, those experiences weren’t that intense for me.

I’m, I am a bit of a hard head is the term for it. It takes a lot to get me somewhere because I did so much experimentation in my twenties, I just tried a lot of things because I wanted to know what the psychoactives were. And so now. It takes a lot for anything to hit. Which is fine.

I just, I don’t really bother much anymore. I’ve gotten the messages. Even this year my my wife is ah, I might, I might do something for helping with direction and it’s pretty nice for me at 42 to be like, huh, not really worried about direction. It’s pretty clear right now.

Like I don’t need to ask the eing a bunch of divinations. I don’t particularly feel like I need the plant medicine right now, I know what work I have to do. Be a good papa, be a good partner, be a good person. And so the, but the interesting part about it to me is it’s almost like having read an important book.

Having done these in your life, they will always be in you and you’ll never forget them, even if it’s been a long time since you’ve had psychedelics. They’ve al they’ve already altered you. And those lessons have sunk in. And I certainly understand someone like Sasha Shulgin who said he likes to do mushrooms every, he, I think he liked to do ’em every nine months or so.

He saw it as a I guess scrubbing of his brain and that it was a good. Like almost a good, just like regular tuneup of his brain. And I certainly see where people are coming from with that. But I know for me personally, every time I’ve done any psychedelics for the last number of years, not a ton happens and not a lot of great insights come through either.

It’s it’s all very con confirmatory, it’s kinda I understand this, I’ve heard it before. Keep going in this direction of acting like a decent human being. So these experiences are certainly some of the most important things that ever happened to me.

And also right now I’m not feeling that called to them either.

Sam Believ: Yeah. That makes sense. And have you had a have you ever sat with, without asking like a traditional setting with the shaman in the jungle style environment?

Lex Pelger: No. No. Yeah, I do hope to do that. But right now travel is tough with little kids, but I do appreciate the idea.

Sam Believ: We’re not in a jungle here, we’re in a Colombian countryside, but for most foreigners, it they call it jungle because they kind. It’s hard to tell a difference. It’s pretty wild. So you are invited you can come with your kids as well. We got kids as well. And we have a, I’m an indigenous shaman from a long lineage, so doing it properly.

I’ll tell you more details at the end of the episode, so if you ever feel cold.

Lex Pelger: Oh, cool. Thank you. And especially being able to bring kids. I like places like that, it’s just a better vibe. Especially ’cause that’s how it so often was done. Little kids are allowed to wander through and the adults are acting a little bit different.

It’s fine. It just seems so much more connected to life and the universe to have little kids around.

Sam Believ: In a traditional setting. They kids drink as well. In sha in shaman’s, families, kids have ayahuasca before they even have milk. The way it works is they apply some ayahuasca on a nipple and then.

They get their first milk. So it’s like all together. It’s, it’s sounds a bit extreme, but I’ve seen, when I went to the jungle for the first time, I’ve seen kids that drink ayahuasca and they, they seemed better than the kids that don’t. So that’s an interesting that’s an interesting thing to do.

But why do you say that we are drugs?

Lex Pelger: We are drugs. I don’t think that was me. That was do Was that Dali? I think it was Dali. I’ve heard it from you okay. Yeah, I like it because. For me, one of the most fascinating things about all these plant medicines is that it’s all harnessing neural systems that we already have and that we can get to in a sober way.

That’s there is the book Zigzag Zen by Alan Bader, and he talked about how. Zen Buddhist, or Buddhism in general got to the West and specifically us, and he interviewed all of the major early teachers of the West who helped to bring this here. And it turns out that all but one of them said, first they found.

That other space using psychedelics. And they realized they didn’t wanna do the rollercoaster up and down to get to that space. They wanted to be able to get there on their own. And so they discovered that Buddhism and meditation was a way to get there on their own. And the only person who said that she didn’t use psychedelics to first discover this, turns out she was lying.

And she did too. So the entire history of Buddhism in the United States comes from people who use psychedelics to see it. And then soberly went there to get it as well. And. All of this stuff is in us. We’re producing DMT in our brains already. So exactly where no one even knows why it’s there.

No one knows. But the reason that cannabinoids work so well is ’cause we have this incredibly widespread endocannabinoid system that goes all the way back to life before it left the ocean sponges and things like that. And the stimulant class as well. For all those major classes of drugs, they’re just harnessing what we already have and pushing it a little bit farther.

But humans can push those things farther on our own using all of these different techniques that, religious mystics have been using for a long time. Or people who have something that might look like a pathology that leads to an imbalance of a certain neurotransmitter and. Comes out in a way that can, I think, very appear or perhaps feel very drug-like.

And so in one sense we are just these like psychopharmacological beans that are just a wash in drugs constantly. We have drugs who wake us up in the morning. We have drugs that make the food taste good. We have drugs to make the sex good so we have more babies. We have drugs to, I think even for finding the divinity or the oneness of everything, which is, the constant lesson that people get out of psychedelics, specifically ayahuasca, as I’m sure I know, I remember one Chapman being like the idea that people just wake up like this and they’re like, the earth matters. Nature matters. We are all connected. It’s just one of the most important things to come out of this. And so the idea that. These plant medicines, the reason we chose them is ’cause we already have them and that they’re only helping us to do what we were already designed to do.

And if we misuse them, it wears the way of that part of what we were trying to do. And so I think it’s a beautiful balance. I used a lot of drugs in my twenties and early thirties and it was a really good feeling. I mostly rode them well. I had addiction issues, but it wasn’t with drugs.

And I think it’s really wonderful when you can, with the help of a community and your own insights and reading the wisdom of those who went before. Use drugs to chart out a path that’s gonna leave you in a better space at the end of your life, a better person. And if used well it’s a beautiful thing to see.

Sam Believ: Yeah. And talking about endocannabinoid system talk to us what do you mean by endocannabinoid deficiency?

Lex Pelger: Yeah, that the endocannabinoid deficiency is more of a theory from this researcher Russo. And it’s the idea that a number of diseases that we have is because we don’t have enough endocannabinoids in our system.

And we certainly know that people with certain types of trauma and other diseases, they have lower levels of some of the famous endocannabinoids like anandamide and two a g, and that perhaps supplementing those with. Outside cannabinoids like C, B, D and THC from the plant can help top up your own endocannabinoid system.

And so it’s a reasonable idea, but it’s such a widespread one that it’s hard for scientists Exactly. Prove it. More what you would be looking for is specific diseases, but the idea that helping to balance your endocannabinoid system can lead to overall health makes a lot of sense because. I’ve seen scientists say that a good definition of endocannabinoid system is a, your overall homeostasis system for your body.

It is your system of balance, and so much of health is just imbalance in something. And the best metaphor, one of my favorite metaphors for the endocannabinoid system comes from Martin Lee of project CBD. He said the endocannabinoid system is a bit like an octopus with about 10,000 arms, and it sits here at your center and it can just twiddle dials all over your body and brain.

So if your kidneys are slightly out of whack with a certain thing, the endocannabinoid system will respond and slightly tune stuff because. One of the powers of the endocannabinoids is that unlike a lot of the drugs that we take or are in us, the endocannabinoids are lipids. They are fats, and so they don’t go into water.

That’s why you can’t inject them. That’s why it’s been harder to study them over the years. But also we have a very fine tuned lipid sensing system in our body. And we used to think that was just because we eat lipids and you need to know how many lipids are round food wise. But it turns out they’re also a widespread signaling system.

And it seems like an incredibly important signaling system. And so the idea that this endocannabinoid system has evol, has been with life since almost the beginning, and is in every mam, is in basically every field of life, but insects. And that’s because it is. Slightly changing things all over the place and it’s involved with almost all the major neurotransmitters that you’ve heard of, a whole bunch of minor signaling pathways that are important to scientists, but don’t get a lot of, popular press.

And it’s so much fun how big it is, and it’s a reason that in these graphic novels, the whole idea I decided to use Moby Dick as my guiding star is because the endocannabinoid system is so widespread that I needed a good way to explain it. And the metaphor I came up with is to treat the human brain like the ocean and all of the different neurotransmitters swimming around down there are different types of fish.

So dopamine would be a shark serotonin would be a dolphin. And then I made the endocannabinoids be whales. And so it’s like we have been exploring the ocean and then all of a sudden, 25 years ago, we found out that not only are whales in the ocean, there’s millions of whales in the ocean, and they’re incredibly important.

There’s this whole class of them down there doing all of these different kinds of changes. And so that’s why I need something so big to explain it because the. How the endocannabinoid system interacts with all the other major systems you hear about, just goes on and on. And I’m gonna need a couple of chapters for each neurotransmitter.

You can see the start of that. I have a bunch of writing that project CBD focused on each neurotransmitter to get the basics of what’s going on with them. But it really. It really goes to show why cannabis just keeps getting proven in clinical literature and in surveys and in people’s anecdotal data.

Everything people are saying about how well it works is backed up by how much we know about the endocannabinoid system and it being this system overall balance.

Sam Believ: What are your favorite

Lex Pelger: cannabinoids? Anandamide is my great white whale. That was the first discovered endocannabinoid neurotransmitter.

It discovered 91 by the father endocannabinoid Dr. Lumm and his someone working with him, bill Deva. And the reason that Dr. Deva named it anandamide is ’cause ananda is a Sanskrit word for bliss. It is one of the three holy words in Sanskrit, which is said to be. A mystical language in its own right, like Hebrew, like a couple other script stories.

People like how you actually say it changes the world. So Ananda Peace is a sacred word in Sanskrit, and he decided to apply that to this neurotransmitter and I. I think the more and more we’ve been learning about it over these last decades, the more that Appalachian makes a lot of sense. And so that’s why I’m explain.

I’m using these books to focus on Anand Demine explaining how much this great white whale does in our neural ocean system, but. Personally, the one that matters the most to me is THC. And in the metaphor that would be an elephant because elephants are just whales of the land. They’re very similar species.

They’re both top of the food chain. They’re K two species according to social biology. But THC is really important to me because. It’s changed my life so much. Before psychedelics did, I started using cannabis, I don’t know, 17 or so. And the funny part is cannabis and THC have always been such a double-edged sword for me, and that’s why it almost, I feel like making me a better writer about this stuff, because from the very beginning, cannabis would induce a lot of social anxiety.

And even through college, even though I knew it was the worst thing I could do before going to a party, I also had, compulsion issues and self-control issues. And I couldn’t stop myself before going to party, even though smoking cannabis before the party made the party so much worse. I kept on doing it and I finally, in my twenties and thirties in New York got a more reasonable use where I just do it by myself at my house most nights.

And I have taken some tolerance breaks over the years. Just. To prove I can, but I don’t like them. Even after I get through the withdrawal, I don’t quite feel like myself. Like it’s nice that I can get around without smoking most nights. But I feel better when I do. And one of the greatest proofs is.

When I am in a bit of a mood now, my wife will say, don’t you wanna go to the basement? Which is our family metaphor. And she wants me she doesn’t like it when I start to skip weed for a couple days. She would prefer that I do that. It brings me to a space that often feels more like myself, especially ’cause I’m using.

Fairly not potent stuff and at pretty small doses and it feels like this microdosing of THC is has been helping me with mental balance my whole life. And it also helps, I would definitely say with my spiritual work because. I use that and I finally feel free to stop thinking about my regular, job and come up here and dive into my old books and make my little prayers and quotes on the walls and do the work that I think is the work that’s gonna matter the most of what I’m doing.

THC is such a double-edged sword for so many people. Cannabis addiction is real. The moderate links to schizophrenia, especially if you start it as a young adolescent, are real. People getting psychosis from rapid cannabis withdrawal is rare, but certainly happens. I just posted some case reports of that last week and.

I think for all of the power of cannabis and I, and you can go on and on about how healing it can be. It’s really important to say the negatives that can happen both for young people who are at risk of psychosis and for older people who are at risk of getting too high and having a terrible time, and also never trying to medicine again.

And once I started working for some CBD companies, I heard the, their constant mantra of start low and go slow. And that’s so true for any drug, but I think it’s especially true for even CBD and especially THC. Just start with the smallest doses and work your way up. So C-B-D-C-B-D is probably the last one though because CBD has kept diapers on my baby’s butts since they were born.

I’ve been working for CBD companies nonstop since I became a papa and needed a real job. And so it is an amazing medicine with. Very few downsides though. The sleeper cannabinoid, I should mention is PEA. That is a, an endocannabinoid that’s found in every cell and body of the body and brain.

And it is incredibly safe. It’s a very potent immune system booster. So it’s very good for regular diseases and it’s also a cool painkiller. I have a whole page about that. I maintain a cannabinoid science site called CV Research Info for CV Sciences. One of the big companies I work for and.

I have all the data on PA that’s ever been done, and it’s just such a powerful molecule that you just buy on the internet really easily and can do a lot of good for people. So when I walk people through how to use cannabinoids, I say, start with C, B, D, then start with micro doses of THC, and if you still need help, move on to PEA.

And so I think those are the three most helpful things that people can buy and start using right away.

Sam Believ: Cool. You mentioned C, B, D, and actually as I was preparing for this episode. I heard some of your previous podcast appearances. I went ahead and bought some CBD on internet. I have I’ve never used CBD before.

I, I rarely even smoked weed. I am yeah, I don’t have the habit, but I, it sounded exciting, like things you were saying. Talk to us more about CBD. Why does one use it? What is it for? Because obviously you said enough to make me buy some.

Lex Pelger: That’s good. Yeah. The hard part about CBD for people who are feeling in pretty good health is you might not notice that much any kind of huge difference.

It can help with anxiety, it can help with mental equilibrium. But if you’re feeling pretty good, c, BD is just gonna keep you feeling pretty good. I do believe it is an incredible thing for protecting the brain from aging in general and protecting the body in general. And it. Some of the things that it has the most use for, I think is for pain.

As well as for neurodegenerative diseases, pretty much any neurodegenerative disease, you should be taking 50 to a hundred milligrams of CB, D every day. And again, you might not notice a giant difference. Some people don’t. But it’s going to be protecting your brain. You’re gonna have a longer window of a good period.

It’s gonna keep the decay away for longer. And I would usually recommend taking CBD in a full spectrum extract. Because full spectrum extracts, they will have not only the minor cannabinoids like CBG and CBN and things like that. It’ll have micro doses of THC and micro doses of THC are very good for the brain.

I have another page about that on CV research info. But. Also you have the terpenes, which are the things that give the smells to the plant. And some of those are very healing in their own right, like beta kaylene and ol. And then you have the other plant components the flavonoids, aph, phenols, stuff like that.

And it seems like. All of those working together with the CBD does better than the CBD on its own. There’s not as many studies all in full spectrum extracts, especially ones that are head-to-head isolated CBD versus a full spectrum. But when that happens, the full spectrums tend to do better. And I think those micro doses of can of minor cannabinoids have a lot to do with it.

The thing about CBD is. Some people only need 10 or 20 milligrams a day for whatever it is they’re dealing with, but people need to know that they could go to very high doses. Unfortunately, it can be expensive to take even just a hundred milligrams of CBD per day. But when you’re dealing with a serious condition that might be the thing that’s worth it because you have lots of data in children with epilepsy because.

Probably a lot of people know about Charlotte Web, Charlotte’s Web and the story of children with very severe pediatric epilepsy who CBD isolate completely changed their lives. And that was one of the big things that brought CBD to the public consciousness in the us. And now these kids are often getting hundreds to thousands of milligrams of isolated CBD per day and.

They are generally fine. The main thing you have to watch out for is sleepiness which is annoying and also an upset gut. Loose stools and things like that. And so that doesn’t happen to everybody. But that is enough to make kids stop using it or to lower their dosages, and that’s the main risk to watch out for anybody.

And generally that isn’t happening at less than a hundred milligrams. But. It is one of the reasons you wanna start low and go slow just in case you’re very sensitive to those kind of effects. But it is, it’s pretty amazing the, when you look at the clinical studies of CBD, how many different. Areas that you can find evidence for.

So I would say to any listener out there, if you are struggling with some, if you or a loved one is struggling with something some kind of disease or disorder, just go to PubMed where they keep the biomedical literature and look up CB, D and the name of the thing you’re looking for, and then click on the side and just look for reviews where they review the evidence.

Great reviews come out every week on all of these different diseases, and you’ll find one within the last year or two that just summarizes everything that’s ever been done, and you can get a better sense of this makes sense for you. And if it’s a disease that is well known, there will be a study for it.

Also feel free to reach out to me. Pelger@gmail.com is an easy way to get me. And you can also check out the CD research at info site. I’m constantly updating that and putting new studies online and making summary videos about that. And so it works. It really, for so many different things, it’s worth trying.

The last one that is worth mentioning is sleep, because. The three main things that people are using CBD for according to the studies of why is pain, anxiety, and sleep. And sleep is the one where it’s actually the least proven because sleep is hard to study. And also because with C, b, D and sleep, it’s very odd.

And this, I learned more from being on the road and talking to people than I do from the literature. C, b, D for sleep, about a third of people. CBD helps ’em to sleep. A third of people, CBD, wakes ’em up so they shouldn’t take it before bed. And for the last third of people, CB, D doesn’t really affect their energy or sleep levels at all.

And there’s no way to know which of those categories you’re gonna be in without trying it. And so I would tell people, if you wanna try it for sleep, just take it before bed. If it helps you sleep, great. If it keeps you up. Take it in the morning. A lot of times people can’t sleep because of anxious thoughts.

If you take CB, D in the, at breakfast and lunch, you’re gonna be less anxious and go to and get to bedtime with less anxiety and have better sleep. But the funny part about CBD is if you take, if you give someone high levels of isolated CBD. It tends to make them more alert. There, there’s a bit of a biphasic response, so little bits can help people sleep and lots tend to wake them up, but everyone’s response is different.

So more than almost anything else with sleep, you have to figure out what works for you.

Sam Believ: The other pretty great story about CBD and autism. Can you share.

Lex Pelger: Yeah. Yeah. The actually, and since you are in the psychedelics, I’ll share another one too and I’ll make ’em both quick. But I have a nephew who, who has autism and my it’s my cousin’s kid and she was one of those involved mothers who did everything to try to help. And he was, looked like he was gonna be one of the kids who just wouldn’t be able to ever leave his house or assisted care kind of living, which isn’t the end of the world. But she wanted, more for him.

And she tried all of these different methods and finally I convinced her to try just a dropper full of CBD every day and within six months. That completely changed everything. He was a brand new kid. He joined the basketball team. He joined the local band. He’s now doing his own thing, working on his own.

And it just completely changed their lives and in a way that she didn’t imagine was possible. And the science of this makes sense. We know that CBD. Helps to and the cannabinoids helped release BDNF, which is a major brain growth factor that helps with synaptic plasticity and the growth of new connections, and perhaps even neurogenesis the creation of new brain cells, which is something we didn’t even, scientists weren’t even sure happened.

So even still, they’re not positive it happens, but if it is happening, the cannabinoids are making it, are helping it to happen. So there’s science backing up that this helps autism. And there’s so much research on it now if you go to see the research info, I think I already made the video on that one.

And the amount. I just, I couldn’t include all the data by any means. So that would be the first thing to try with autism. The other one, the story that I got from New York was for LSD because this was a papa who I met at an event. And he had an 18-year-old kid who was non-communicative. He had never talked and he was responding.

They knew he was in there. They could, there was a back and forth and a relationship. But there was never any speaking. And finally one day this dad just said, what the hell? And he gave the kid most of a dose of acid, which is not exactly what I would recommend, but that’s what this guy did.

And then once it hit. This kid just started talking. They had their first conversation in the, in their entire lives during this acid trip. And then it wore off and he went back to, where he was before. But it was just overall a really positive experience. And the guy said, unfortunately, my ex-wife and I, it’s very not good.

And if she had found out I would never see my son again. And so we only did it that one time. And, it was hard for him because he thought that there was help here that could have helped develop their relationship. He was never gonna be able to have a chance to explore it. But it’s something I’ve been hearing more and more over these last years is low dose to even high dose psychedelics for people with autism and helping them to process the world.

Sam Believ: Yeah, there’s all kinds of really cool stories and. I do believe in the sort of miraculous feeling they can come from those medicines. Lex, thank you so much for this episode. I think it was really interesting. Can you tell people where to find you and more about your books or your your other work?

Lex Pelger: Sure. Yeah. Thanks for asking. So I got, there’s two graphic novels that are published. The queer one is the history, one on the AIDS crisis and Reagan and medical cannabis. A lot of heroes in this one. And then this is the a science history of the discovery of the structure of the CBN molecule in the 1940s and the like 80 years of scientific searching to get the first structure of a cannabinoid.

And of course, the cannabinoids are elephants, hence the. Book title, so you can find those@lexpaler.com. If you wanna stay abreast of the science my newsletter on Substack is cannabinoids and the People. So I put all the new stuff there each week. And for anyone listening to this, if you wanna make a cool a hundred bucks my new sponsor is a cannabis health research initiative.

It’s a survey project out of Johns Hopkins to, get people to talk about their cannabis use over the course of a year and add that to the scientific literature similar to the T 21 project that happened outta the uk. And so I’m working with realm of Caring to write their newsletter about this, but also just spread the word that this cannabis health research initiative is a place where you can, any listener can make some money and also actually add to the scientific literature around cannabis.

That I think is a really great thing to do. And just for a personal side, I do a lot of sharing about the books I read. Books are really important to me, so if you look up Lex re’s books on the major platforms, I’m putting out content ar around those as well. But yeah, I really appreciate the chance to talk.

You really, it’s great to have someone who ask great questions and has great experiences themselves and it was very enjoyable. Thank you.

Sam Believ: Thank you Alex. Guys, you’ve been listening to our podcast. As always, we do the whole Sam and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large. Please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca, retreat. At laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal. Grow guys. I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Daniel Shankin, a mindfulness coach and psychedelic integration specialist. Daniel is the founder of TAM Integration, which provides support, education, and integration circles for those working with psychedelics. He also leads the Mountain TAM Psychedelic Integration Coaching Program, training emerging facilitators in integration practices.

Topics Covered:

  • (00:34 – 02:21) Daniel’s early psychedelic experiences and how they shaped his path
  • (02:23 – 03:49) The evolution of integration and its growing importance in psychedelic use
  • (04:11 – 07:39) What psychedelic integration actually means and how it works in practice
  • (08:28 – 10:52) Defining enlightenment: is it real, and what does it look like?
  • (12:20 – 17:43) Relationships, marriage, and how psychedelics impact personal growth
  • (18:24 – 19:55) Couples using psychedelics together—how should they integrate their experiences?
  • (20:52 – 26:44) Working with difficult psychedelic experiences—when to seek clinical support
  • (27:10 – 29:08) PTSD, CPTSD, and the potential of psychedelics in healing trauma
  • (30:19 – 34:29) The importance of a supportive environment post-ceremony
  • (35:09 – 38:54) The thin line between spiritual experiences and psychological projections
  • (41:15 – 43:07) Shadow work—what it truly means and how to approach it
  • (43:12 – 46:48) Mindfulness and integration: how self-awareness helps psychedelic experiences land
  • (47:00 – 50:32) The ego and the default mode network—understanding the role of self-identity in psychedelic work
  • (52:19 – 55:32) The Mountain TAM Psychedelic Integration Coaching Program and how it trains integration coaches

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com.

Find out more about Daniel Shankin and his work at http://www.tamintegration.com or follow him on Instagram at @tamintegration.

Transcript 

Daniel Shankin: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com. There’s a lot of stuff inside of us that we can’t own, and when it pops up, we think it’s something else. A lot of folks are in agreement that like, they call it the sh, the shadow or what have you, right? So we’ve got stuff inside of us. We’ve got hate and rage and guilt and shame and yada yada man’s in humanity to man.

And then, we have a vision of it. The subconscious is Hey, we wanna deal with this. Look at this, right? Can we deal with this? Please? It communicates it the best way. It knows how, because it doesn’t necessarily speak English. It speaks in this five dimensional vision. People have a tendency to go into fight or flight around it, right?

They push it away. They don’t wanna believe it. They other it, they think it’s something else. They wanna fight against it, all this kind of stuff. They think it’s other. And that’s tricky because then we go into fight or flight. If it’s us, the wise thing to do would be to try to create an, open a dialogue with it and see what kinda love it wanted.

Does it need love? Does it need support? What do we do? How can I help? As Ramdas would say.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we do the whole Sam. Today I’m having a conversation with Danielle Shakin. Danielle is a mindfulness coach and psychedelic integration specialist, founder of TAM Integration, which offers support, education and integration circles. For those working with psychedelics, he also leads the Mountain Tam Psychedelic Integration Coaching Program Training Emerging facilitators.

In this episode, we talk about psychedelics and counterculture, the importance of processing psychedelic experiences, complexity of making real life changes, enlightenment, psychedelics, and relationships, handling difficult psychedelic experiences, share the work. Ego and default network and more. Enjoy this episode.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Daniel, welcome to the show.

Daniel Shankin: Thank you so much for having me, Sam. It’s great to be here.

Sam Believ: Dale, tell us a little bit about yourself and what brought you to work with psychedelics and psychedelic integration.

Daniel Shankin: I’ve started doing psychedelics at a young age. I was in high school early high school when I first started doing psychedelics. And and at the same time I was also interested in meditation, things of that nature. I was, I had my parents’ record collection and I know that like the Beatles.

Hung out in India and did LSD and they made awesome music. And that seemed like a good combination. And so these things have always been interesting to me and I’ve been following that path in a variety of ways for, years and years now. And this is where it’s led me, this is where it’s led me today.

So you mentioned

Sam Believ: like early high school. What kind of psychedelics are we talking about and what year I would it be?

Daniel Shankin: I was at, I, yeah, I was probably 13. Seems young now, but it seemed, started smoking pot, when I was 13 and I think I ended up at a party the end of my freshman year.

And there was some, with the big kids and, there was some guy who was even older than the seniors, I think. And he had some l and I ended up on, on some L and it was a, a wild curious evening. And so that’s like about where that started. And, it’s, this was the usual things that were available to kids in those days.

Cannabis and LSD and mushrooms. And it was basically the what was on the menu.

Sam Believ: Which which of these experiences made you realize about the importance of the integration? Maybe was it a personal experience where you realized that

Daniel Shankin: It’s necessary? Integration wasn’t even a word until much later.

Nobody spoke about it. This was the nineties, there wasn’t the internet, like awi, I, we didn’t know about any of the book, any of the books in the library weren’t gonna give you straight information. You had to learn through, books on counterculture.

Is what I found. If you were interested, you had to read about the hippies and you had to read about the meditators and things like that. You had, hopefully you could find some MDOs or something and he would talk about it. But integration yeah I didn’t hear about until much later that, people were doing Integra.

There was like maybe two groups doing integration circles, right? Erie was throwing an integration circle and Cherie down in LA was doing an integration circle, and they just seemed great. That seemed like a really good thing to be doing. And yeah, I felt like I needed it, and so I needed it, so I started doing them so that I could, have a circle to be with people.

And that’s how it started. That’s, yeah, that’s how it kinda started for me.

Sam Believ: So how does one go about that and learn integration? What would you say this, say somebody who’s listening has never heard that word before and, but they had psychedelic experiences and now they want to integrate what they do.

Daniel Shankin: So you had an experience, right? Good job. You had an experience and you survived. I’m talking to somebody new. You had an experience and you’re okay. But you might have had experiences of. Visioned for yourself, right? You you might’ve, there was probably some good stuff that happened and there was probably some intense stuff.

Maybe it was bad, it was confusing. And so there’s a mix of these things where maybe you saw the face of God, right? And he reached down, touched your heart, and it exploded into rainbow love. And you’re like, Hey, I want my life to be like that always. And then also you might have seen terrifying visions of hell or had excruciating memories of times past, or you might have been confronted with your lower nature and realize that you haven’t been being the best version of yourself possible and you’re struggling with that, right?

So experiences can be mixed. That’s okay. And so with that in mind, you have two choices. You can just stuff it all away and be like, that was weird. And forget it was happening and go back to your normal life. Or you can say to yourself, Hey, I wanna take some of that. So I want to learn from this and I want to grow from this.

And maybe I do want my heart to be more filled with rainbows on a regular basis. And maybe I do wanna be a better version of myself and maybe I wanna learn to forgive and I want myself and others, and maybe I want to clean up my act in certain ways. And so integration is a process that is basically the process of making that happen.

And so it’s highly individualized, right? Generally people do a lot of the same stuff. They, they’ll journal or they’ll create personal ritual or they’ll make commitments to themselves to live a different way. They’ll probably wanna do some meditation and some yoga. A lot of people wanna clean up their diet and that’s how it goes, right?

And, but. What your curriculum and your lessons are highly individual, right? It might, for it, for some people it might be quitting their job. For some people it might mean getting a better, a different job that’s more in line with your values. It might mean going to church, it might mean leaving the church.

It might mean doing yoga. It might mean cleaning up your credit, right? And paying back the people that you owe. But you know what it is. It’s just you gotta take responsibility to actually do it. And it’s helpful to recognize that it’s a moment to moment practice. Sometimes people think oh, I should already be enlightened.

And there’s people out there who will pretend to be enlightened. They’re like, oh, I got enlightened. And then they just act as if they’re enlightened all of a sudden. And they’re obviously not for everybody around them can tell that they’re not. And, so you don’t focus on like the goal or necessarily like some sort of lofty goal.

You think about how am I going to be more kind and honest every time a challenging moment arises, right? And oh, maybe I did it good, maybe I did it not so good, and take responsibility for it without criticizing yourself too harshly and then just getting up and trying again. How’s that? Does that work seem like a good starting point?

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s the integration is one of those topics that many people say, but not many understand that it’s can be explained in so many different ways. Yeah, I don’t think there is a right or wrong, but it’s a good, it’s a good start. And I definitely struggle with explaining it to people that come to our retreat.

I do my best. I, we even do a workshop on the topic. But knowing my own experience with medicine specifically, I work mostly with ayahuasca. I just understand how hard it actually is to do. So it’s one of those things that are easier said than done. But you mentioned enlightenment.

So quick question for you. Have you met anyone who is actually enlightened?

Daniel Shankin: I’ve met people who are close. Depending on our definition. What’s our definition of enlightenment?

Okay. You want me to answer? The, from a Buddhist perspective I think that it refers to somebody who is free from ignorance and addiction and craving and hatred, right? So it’s somebody who is just clear in their seeing. Because a lot of the times our clear, our seeing and our understanding gets clouded by what I want, what I need to have, how am I make sure I have the stuff I need?

And then it’s also clouded by, I hate that. I don’t like that. That feels threatening to me. And then of course, there’s just confusion about the nature of the world and the self in general. So in yoga, they talk about, enlightenment is knowledge of the true self, right? So when we stop mistaking what’s false for what’s true what’s permanent from what’s temporary, what’s real from illusory, then we’re getting close and to and a lot of that is in reference to what we think we are and who we think we are because we have a lot of.

Erroneous ideas about who and what we are, I think, and that we’re very attached to being perceived a certain way by ourself and others we’re very attached to not being seen in other ways. And it’s a it creates a lot of chaos for ourselves and the people that we love. I think the state of enlightenment is really simple and natural.

I think sometimes those of us who have got glimpses of visionary states full of magic and wonder and subtlety and other dimensions and stuff, think that enlightenment is like a magic state of some kind. And I think that it’s just a real simple, peaceful mind full of understanding and they’re having a lack of confusion.

Sam Believ: Sounds beautiful. Sounds like something I would want to experience sometime in my life. You never claimed you’re enlightened, but you definitely look and talk the part to me. Yeah, I remember when I was when I was preparing for this podcast, I listened to some episode with you and definitely your voice is very soothing.

So I, I have to thank you for this because I had a very stressful day to coming up through this and like lots of stuff moving and I can feel myself almost relaxing and integrating. So I’m sure the listeners will. Yeah. Thank you for that. But back on the topic of integration,

Daniel Shankin: that’s just, man, I gotta tell you, that’s just teaching yoga for 15 years.

That’s just, you just learn to talk in a way that relaxes people. It doesn’t, you can still be a crazy schmuck and be able to like, speak in a relaxing voice, but thank you. I’m glad it’s helping.

Sam Believ: Yeah, you definitely talk the talk, so that’s for sure.

Daniel Shankin: And you can ask my wife if she thinks I walk the walk.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Wifes they will always know it. It’s a, it’s interesting. I wanna talk to you about that afterwards, about wives and relationships. What are you married? Yeah, I’m married and I have three kids. They’re all very young, so at the same time as having three kids and building this ayahuasca retreat that’s very busy.

It’s pretty difficult. And I think that, I’m not a Buddhist, I’m not like the most spiritual person you’ve ever met, but I definitely have my, egoistic attachments to certain kind of outcomes. So I definitely would like to come to the point where I’m more peaceful or maybe perceive the world in a different way.

And I definitely progress a lot in my own emotional. Healing journey. But I’ve I think that women are placed in this planet to no matter how good, like my wife is an amazing woman, she’s a great wife, but I think they’re this like permanent destabilizer that so here’s my theory. I think that life is a game for the souls play because they wanna learn something.

But the premise of the game or the background setting is you can never win because when you win in the game, you switch off the computer. So you don’t, you no longer wanna play. And the way it’s kept from ever winning is by having always some kind of complexities. And I think women is one of those that will never, ever go always as, of course you can become a monk and never deal with women again.

But I think that. That’s also very unpleasant. So what do you think about that? Have you noticed that, men and women were from different planets, and how does that intertwine with your with your own like growth journey?

Daniel Shankin: I’m pretty sure that if I live with anybody and was like up in their business all the time and had my finances tied together with them and had my fates tied up with them, that there would be challenges.

Regardless of regardless of gender or anything like that. I know that my wife and I do challenge each other. We, we, I’m lucky she lives by spiritual principles as well we have. Kind of guidelines for who, how we wanna be and how we wanna live.

And those are fairly closely aligned, and that’s really great. Yeah we’re not monks, right? We’re householders, we’re allowed to be in the world. We’re allowed to want stuff, we’re allowed to, like cool clothes and tasty food and sex and all those kinds of things. And, we’re allowed to wanna, provide good lives for our children.

I think that’s dharmic that’s a good thing to, to do and to participate in society and support monastics. We donated, Tam donated a little bit of money to a monastery in Nepal this week. That feels good. It’s that’s part of the householder gig is to support charitable projects.

I think to have reciprocity as well is a big thing in our. Community these days. We practice sacred reciprocity with a variety of organizations. And one of the things that, that does, and working with people in general, right? We working with, wife and children, hopefully inspires us to have a generous heart, right?

We’re talking about, it’s like we want to, it’s like a relationship I think works when everybody is they’re enjoying what they’re getting, but they’re also enjoying what they’re giving, right? Working to, support the people in our care, in our, ever widening, it’s like we’re universal, psychedelic.

People can think really big. We can get really universal into one world family, the whole cosmic crew and all that kind of stuff. The interdimensional family. But then, the, there are also intimate, more intimate circles of care, right? And it that is hopefully what I am inspired to do by my wife, and that includes being generous of spirit with the things that might irritate me because I know that she’s generous of spirit with the things that I do that irritate her.

And one of the things that I like about psychedelics is that it seems to open those channels of love and generosity that, is people are like, oh, what’s your intention for this psychedelic journey? It’s it’s to open the channels of light so that the love of the Lord can shine through me and spill out onto the, of all the people I care about.

It’s what do you wanna do? I just wanna like channel, I just wanna channel the love through. And I think that a family is a really good way to, to make that real, to really bring that to the forefront.

Sam Believ: You mentioned psychedelics and sort of couple couples format, so that’s something that’s not commonly talked about, but what do you think should be the integration process maybe for a couple that did psychedelics together or maybe talk about some of your personal experiences?

Daniel Shankin: I am not going to talk about personal experiences that involve other people. But I think in general what’s, but generally speaking, in vaguely speaking, it’s really nice again to have a shared language. When you have a shared experience you sometimes have a shared language and you can decide, what are the shared values and perhaps that even means you have an accountability buddy, right?

So it’s great to have an accountability buddy and to be like, these are the things that I wanna live up to and I’m willing to have you hold me to that. What are we doing? What tinctures you got? Oh, okay. This is a synergy by fruiting bodies. They’re also outta Massachusetts and it’s just multi mushroom blend is like reishi and eps.

Sam Believ: I was interviewing the guy and he mentioned how great the CBD is. So I bought some. Good, I’m glad we’re doing it. Cheer.

Daniel Shankin: Cheers a little. Your action. Have

Sam Believ: cheers.

Daniel Shankin: Cheers.

Sam Believ: You mentioned that you and your wife or your wife lives by spiritual principles. Can you talk to us? What is this and how does it look like?

Daniel Shankin: Oh, I don’t know. I don’t want to get too in the weeds with that, but it’s just the things that I’ve been talking about already. It’s like we want to be good, wholesome people, right? We wanna be honest and generous and patient, and, kind. We wanna raise our children with good VA moral values and stuff like that.

Sam Believ: Cool. That sounds good. I guess I live by them as well. I didn’t know, I didn’t know the, how to call it. Okay. Let’s go back to the topic of integration. That’s that’s your expertise, I believe. And what would you how would you approach someone who had a psychedelic experience and they had a difficult one, like a very deep one, slightly destabilizing one.

How would you work with a person like this?

Daniel Shankin: That’s really big. Have you had one? Do you wanna talk about one?

Sam Believ: We had we had a few, we had one actually recently, and I think we did a great job. He was I’ll try to describe it without scaring people that are listening, but it was a lifelong repression of a traumatic memory.

And when it started to come up, the person seized and tried to like, prevent it from happening and got kind a little stuck. That’s how it felt, like a little stuck in that state of like very body centered, like fear, emotions, stuff like that. So we had the, we still have a pretty great team, so we did, our approach was.

A lot of support, a lot talking and just calming and very like grounding presence. And then we did some somatic experiencing style exercises to release those things. And then I also have two integration coaches with whom I work remotely. Both of them did some work as well of which I’m not sure exactly what they did, but yeah this person is back now.

They actually came to, to visit and he’s doing great. So that, that definitely worked. But once again I’m not an integration coach, so like that for me, it’s the reason I’m asking is because I’m still learning and what is the proper is there like a proper sequence,

Daniel Shankin: people are different.

I can’t coach they, they actually call this coaching the ghost. There’s a concept in coaching called coaching the ghosts. When people show up and they’re like, my partner did this and they want me to fix the per them, they want me, they’re like, my partner did this.

What do we do about them? And they want me to fix the person who’s not there. And I can’t really do that. I am always curious, to, to what extent the repressed memory is actually a memory, if this makes sense. Because sometimes the subconscious communicates in symbols and visions that aren’t exactly what happened, right?

So I’m pretty convinced, like my dad never chased me through the streets with a knife. I swear in a Bible that my dad like never chased me down the streets with a knife. So much so that if I had a vision in, on psychedelics that my dad was chasing me down the streets with a knife, I would probably wanna ask myself, what does that represent?

It’s like, why am I being shown this? And so I always think that’s curious. Sometimes people are like, yeah, this definitely happened and, that wants to be supported and cared for, but also, why now? Like, why, yes, you had an experience, but like why is this coming up?

What do you want to do with it? What does this mean? And these kinds of things. So I’m a real, I’m really into inquiry and fact finding. It’s what do you do? You just what do you do? It’s like you just give the person, and this goes for anything. This goes for good experiences, bad experiences.

The experiences are strange and giving people a safe place and like an open forum to discuss what happened and asking them questions that they know the answer to, but they know the answer to like liminally, right? They gotta look for it. Like the answer isn’t a place where they don’t ordinarily look. So can you ask folks a question that will get them to think more creatively about themselves in their lives is basically the approach I take with all that kinda stuff.

And then of course, if somebody is like, if it starts to become clear that somebody is suffering from like C-P-T-S-D or like something. That needs clinical care. I generally refer people, I’ll still work, I’ll still meet with folks, but they should also be seeing a clinician who is trained in C-P-T-S-D, sexual assault trauma, things like that.

I’m an integration coach, I’m a coach. As Bob Jesse and the John Hopkins team says, there’s a population of people called healthy normals. And there’s practices, there’s, ways to do psychedelics and what they call the betterment of well, people. And so that’s my population, I work with healthy normals who are looking for the betterment of well people as opposed to people who need clinical care. And therapeutic intervention, if that makes sense. So if somebody has an experience where that becomes clear that they need that, I want them to go and get it. And I won’t abandon them.

They can still, we can still have some talks if it’s useful to them, but they should get the clinical care that they need. That’s the ethical thing to do, in my opinion. That’s a lot. I threw a lot at you there.

Sam Believ: No, but that’s that’s all good stuff. Clinical care is definitely important.

Very valuable. I think both of the integration coaches that I mentioned, one is counselor and the other one is a therapist. So they know those things as well. But you mentioned C PS PTSD which is a complex PTSD. And what’s the difference?

Ptsd, TSD and C-P-T-S-D?

Daniel Shankin: You, again, you’d probably be better at suited to ask a clinician, right? These definitions, complex what as PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, right? So we all have stress, we all undergo stress as you were telling me you had a stressful day to day.

Did that stress are you processing that stress in a way that is, is that stress manageable to your system, that you can process it and digest it and deal with it and, maybe you need a beer at the end of the day and get some extra sleep or something, right? And cool, I dealt with my stress.

You meditate, right? You deal with your stress. But then sometimes, like this system can’t process it because what do they say? It’s either it’s too much, too fast for your particular system or it’s too little for too long, right? So like the cases of neglect with children, right? Too much, too fast or too little for too long.

That kind of breaks down the system a little bit. And then we call it trauma, right? So this is traumatic stress that is disordered, right? So it’s like my system becomes disordered. I can’t manage my thoughts, right? The thoughts of the stress and the trauma is like intrusive. I can’t make decisions, right?

I react in ways that are embarrassing because, in ways that are not appropriate because of the kind of, what the stress has done to my nervous system and my mind. And then we have a stress disorder right post because it’s in the pick. Has it happened before? I guess so. It happened before, right?

And then what changes that into a complex post-traumatic stress disorder? I’m fuzzy on those lines. We should get you a trauma therapist in here to talk about that. It’s the edge of my knowledge, I think on those definitions.

Sam Believ: Maybe you can recommend me someone to interview. But let’s assume because it’s complex, it’s a little more complex than just normal PTSD.

Daniel Shankin: So I have a g coaching training program, psychedelic integration coaching training program. And we work with a therapist at a Sacramento named Robin Kand. And she actually talks about, she teaches our students about how to deal with repressed memories and remembering abuse and things like that.

She’s brilliant and she works with trauma and she’s rad.

Sam Believ: Does she like to go on podcast?

Daniel Shankin: I she’ll probably she could probably fit it in. Has she tried ayahuasca? Probably.

Sam Believ: Okay.

Daniel Shankin: I don’t know. This might come as a shock. I don’t always, I don’t give everybody, a checklist since I’m not like an ayahuasca, like I’m not really like an ayahuasca guy.

I don’t necessarily talk about I’m not bringing up, Hey, I was in Peru when this happened, kinda thing.

Sam Believ: Yeah, no, and n neither that you have to, it’s it’s just something that is always a bonus. ’cause this is in, in, in the end of the day and I ask a podcast, so we try to somehow tie things back to ayahuasca.

So let’s do it right now. So what do you think about PTSD and the potential of psychedelics to to work with PTSD, anxiety and depression? Would it help obviously not a medical advice, just your educated guess.

Daniel Shankin: Anecdotally it seems to, in a lot of cases, doesn’t it? We’ve there’s news art, there’s articles out there, there’s research papers that would suggest that it does, right?

Yeah.

Sam Believ: So

Daniel Shankin: that’s

Sam Believ: cool. Yeah. No, I believe in it. I don’t need convincing. I just want your opinion and then maybe I. What to do, ’cause somebody comes to, let’s say an vascular treat with PTSD and they have a difficult but great experience. They come back. PTSD is somewhat better. And I’ve had many stories like this.

How do they integrate or what should they do? What would you recommend or how to do it properly, maybe even before they come, what should they?

Daniel Shankin: I would recommend, so assuming this person has C-P-T-S-D, we’re going to assume that they have a great therapist, right? So they’ve got therapeutic support.

Hopefully they also have a community of care, right? That they are not going to come back to the same like an unhealthy environment that’s not safe for them. Because that could be even more destabilizing because sometimes people are raw and vulnerable. Do you know like time, space, community, right?

Do they have time to integrate? Are they coming right back to an 80 hour work week? Because it’s probably not gonna land well, right? Are they coming back to like hostile family who are mad that they left for a week? That’s not gonna be good to come back to, are they gonna have the space they need to take care of themselves, work the work, work out what they need to work out?

You wanna think of the matrix of their experience, right? That, to make sure that it is supportive, right? And I think that is clutch along with hopefully again, a competent therapist, perhaps a community group, maybe a men’s group, a woman’s group, depending, yeah. Maybe I hope maybe they have a spiritual community they could start to tap into. So these sorts of supports I think are huge. And then there’s plenty of integration circles and, there’s plenty of literature about integration. People can pick again, the projects that one does to support their integration is going to vary by person to person.

I knew somebody who had a bunch of journeys and they were like, I need to cook for people. They started having dinners at their home and they had a friend who played such and such a music and they started, built a community around food. ‘Cause that’s what came up for them. And, people, recommit themselves to the arts.

All kinds of stuff could happen, but again these people were resourced enough to be able to make that happen. And, you don’t necessarily want your experience to just you want it to fall on like fertile ground, right? Where it can take root and blossom. You don’t want it to just fall on rock.

You don’t want it to, you don’t want the seeds of your experience to fall in the desert. And so setting up an environment where you can flourish is big.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s very inform important because you can’t really heal the trauma while it’s being formed, and normally that’s why they call it post traumatic stress disorder.

It needs to be over because if ayahuasca does or psychedelic do, open you up and then you come back and it gets even worse. And you mentioned that sort a hostile family. Maybe somebody, some people need to give themselves permission to never come back if it’s really that bad, but not. Not an advice.

Once again, it’s more always more complex than that. But something you mentioned about the hypothetical vision of your dad chasing you with a knife on the street, which is the, subconscious representation of something. What do you believe sometimes people’s subconscious representation makes them feel that they’re possessed or there’s some demonic thing or something dark but it’s just their subconscious, masking negative occurrences that way.

What do you think about that? And also like where you stand on spiritual side of things. Like when is it like real demon or what is, when, is it just your crazy thought?

Daniel Shankin: That’s the question of the ages. I have people that I check in with about that. Know I don’t have that site.

There are people who are gifted with that site, but it’s my sense that there’s a lot of stuff inside of us that we can’t own. And when it pops up, we think it’s something else, right? So that’s a lot of folks, a lot of folks who are in agreement that they call it the shadow or what have you, right?

So we’ve got stuff inside of us. We’ve got like hate and rage and guilt and shame and yada yada man’s in humanity to man. And then, we have a vision of it. The subconscious is Hey, we wanna deal with this. Look at this, right? Can we deal with this, please? And it communicates it the best way.

It knows how, because it doesn’t necessarily speak English. It speaks in this, five dimensional vision. And then we have a tendency to, this is actually a lot of the work that I do in preparation with people. People have a tendency to go into fight or flight around it, right? They push it away.

They don’t wanna believe it. They other it, they think it’s something else. They wanna fight against it, all this kind of stuff. They think it’s other, and that’s tricky because then we go into fight or flight. If it’s us, the wise thing to do would be to try to create an, open a dialogue with it and see what kinda love it wanted, does it need love?

Does it need support? What do we do? How can I help? As Ramdas would say. So that’s a good place to start. But there’s other stuff out there, man. We know there’s other stuff out there too. And, but it’s not, I in my sense, in, in my worldview, you don’t treat them that much different. It is hard, it’s that’s one of the reasons that we wanna build up the light body as it were.

We wanna, I was talking about opening those channels, so channel the light through from the divine, right? It’s like pour, pour the light of the goddess into my system so it can flow through is so that like dark entities don’t stick, or that we have the wherewithal that if they show up we can give them love, we can bless them, right?

And we can perhaps help them on our, on their way instead of being some sort of like victim or a meal, right? I don’t have any interest in being like a meal of dark forces. And to be honest, I don’t think I’m much of a meal. If you really want the light and the love, which everybody wants.

You’re probably better off going to the source. So I don’t really know, again, there’s people who are better at this, better at talking about this than me, but I think there’s a lot out there under you in God’s creation. There’s a lot of different things and a lot of it’s us but a lot of it isn’t.

What are you gonna do? It’s do your best. Be honest. My, my dad once told me you can’t cheat an honest man. It’s if if the devil wants to make a deal, but you don’t you can’t you’re not tempted then, okay. It’s our own, I think moral and spiritual weaknesses that let the dark forces in and the more that we can ask for help from.

Right places and, be positive and, build our energy system the safer we are. But yeah, either way, whatever it is that shows up, be kind and try to help. It’s my theory on stuff. And also, which is not to say sometimes you don’t need to burn sage and ring a bell to clear the energies, like sometimes you gotta do that too.

But the other stuff I think is primary,

Sam Believ: the line between actual negative spirits and negative emotions coming up is very thin. It reminds me of this other line, which is between when the person is spiritually gifted or just crazy is also very, it’s very difficult sometimes to. To tell the difference, but we work with the shaman, so we have a shaman.

He is an indigenous shaman from Lineage. They know their stuff, so I can always consult ’em and be like this person, do they actually have something or is it something in them? And then he is they had a little bit of that, but we cleared it out. So now it’s just whatever that’s in their head, so it’s then I can suggest them to the therapist.

So it’s it’s good to have both worlds working in tandem. You mentioned shadow. Is this something you like to talk about or not really?

Daniel Shankin: Yeah. That’s, people love, it’s like world of shadow. Crazy. People love doing the shadow work, don’t they?

There was a great definition, I forget where I heard it. The definition of shadow are the parts of us that are still waiting to be loved, which I think is very sweet because a lot of times we wanna demonize the shadow, right? It’s bad, it can’t be trusted, it’s whatever. And it needs, it deserves to be pushed down and cast out, right?

Cast out of our hearts. Instead of recognizing that it’s our job to love all parts of ourselves, right? And that it’s, yeah, of course it’s cranky, right? It’s been cut off. It’s been cut off from the light. And that’s on us, right? It’s not, can’t blame. Yeah. How old are your kids?

Four, two

Sam Believ: and a half and six months.

Daniel Shankin: Yeah. You’re gonna, you can’t blame a 2-year-old for being a 2-year-old. Why are you doing 2-year-old stuff? It’s like it’s my job to love them anyway. But we do that to ourselves all the time, right? We kick and, numerous amounts of the, like our inner children, we kick them out of our hearts because they acted the way they’re supposed to act.

Right? And then wonder why our work, our life isn’t working out.

Sam Believ: You talk a lot about mindfulness as well, mindfulness and integration. What’s what is the role of mindfulness and integration?

Daniel Shankin: You ever read the four agreements? No, not yet. Should. It’s great. And the cool thing about the Four Agreements is you don’t really even have to read the whole book.

You can just read the four agreements and then, contemplate them. You’re, you’re a smart, spiritual man. And that’s one of the cool things about these things is that, the first of the four agreements is be impeccable with your Word. And he talks about how like we are creating our reality with our words and our thoughts, and that this is a divinely gifted spiritual power is how we use our words.

Are we blessing each other? Yeah. Great. There you go. Yeah are we blessing each other or are we cursing each other with our words? And then are we blessing ourselves or cursing ourselves with our words? So a lot of folks are constantly just shredding themselves. So they, somebody told them something about themselves, or something happened, and then they decided something bad.

They internalized the story. And so we have all of this mental chatter inside of ourselves that is just like, you’re not good enough. You’re unlovable. You always mess things up. You’re terrible. All this kind of stuff. It’s just rattling around in there. And so mindfulness practice is, there’s literal practice called mindfulness of the mind, mindfulness of the thoughts.

And so we start to see those thoughts and then we can interrupt. We just, oh, I’m not gonna do that anymore. Stop. And you can investigate it. You go to therapy and stuff and talk about, oh, why do I think that I’m bad? Oh, because this happened, but that, and a dollar will get you on the bus.

It’s I need my, your mind is happening. This is what people distance themselves from your mind is happening in real time and you’re able to interact with it in every moment. That’s what I’m talking about. Like integration happens in every moment. So if I can sit down, I’m like, I’m gonna sit with my mind and my mind’s you can’t do that.

You’re not good enough for that. You’re not meant to do that. You’re this and you’re that and the other thing. And I could be like, oh, actually no. We’re not doing that thought. Like we know why we do it, but we’re still knowing why doesn’t stop it, right? And so a mindfulness practice where I’m sitting there and I’m catching the criticism and I’m being like, we’re not doing that.

And then maybe even with your intention and your prayer, you put more positive words into your mind until that’s the habit. Mindfulness is like a practice that helps you install better mental habits, better self-talk habits, right? It’s like people want to kill the ego, which first of all, you can’t, right?

It’s like you’re not gonna kill the ego with six ayahuasca sessions. Probably not even with 600. It doesn’t work that way. The ego comes back. Why not just program the ego to love, humility, and gratitude, right? Mindfulness practice, program, the default mode network to like peace. That’s why I think mindfulness is good, ’cause it can help you do that.

Sam Believ: It’s interesting that you put in the same sentence, default mode, network and ego. I think about it this way, what is the difference or is it the same thing? What do you think?

Daniel Shankin: The default mode network you should talk to. Like I. Manesh, GIRN or something like that.

One of these neuroscientists who really know what it means, I have a video of it somewhere in my archives of this conversation, but, it’s the way that it’s a neurological functioning of some kind, right? The ego, I like, like a ramen and maharshi style definition, which is outta water. Outta water the false sense of being a separate, long lasting entity, right? So a false sense. So it’s erroneous, it’s not correct, but it’s a false sense that there is this entity that is persistent. And long lasting and separate from the totality of reality. So that’s the ego.

So you think you’re, you think you’re you think you’re special. I think I’m special. You think you’re Sam? I think I’m Dan. And and on one level that’s true, but there’s a lot of other stuff going on beyond just, and then I seem to be the same thing day by day, even though I’m consistently changing, right?

And so that’s the ego. And people show up to me all the time. I’m sure they come to you too, and they’re like, all right, I gotta kill this ego. Gotta kill it. It’s like nuts. ‘Cause only the ego would want to kill the ego, right? Pure undifferentiated consciousness is blissful and is no desire for death of any kind.

Doesn’t care. It’s not suffering. Pure undifferentiated consciousness is not suffering. The ego is suffering because it’s self-centered and it’s not getting what it wants. And it won’t let go of all the stuff that it wants. You know what we, suicide, ego trying to kill itself.

Yeah. Yeah. It’s trying to kill herself because it and it thinks what it’s saying is basic, there, there’s a sense that people have a sense that they’re making themselves miserable. And they want it to end in some ways. And that’s cool. But it’s not feasible. It doesn’t seem to be feasible.

At best people have a, that to get some relief, right? It’s like we just wanna not take it so seriously. It’s yeah, I want some water right now, and the body is unhappy, but I’m not the body, right? It doesn’t, I’m not gonna suffer that much. Maybe I’ll even shoot a text down.

Can you send kid up with, can you send the kid up with some water? We’ll send it in. If it happens, it’s great. If it doesn’t happen, that’s great. We all have preferences, especially householders, right? I want this, I don’t want that, I want this, I don’t want that. To what degree are we gonna suffer if we don’t get it?

And to what degree are we willing to sacrifice our wellbeing and the wellbeing of others in order to get it? Or how willing are we to compromise our values to get the stuff we want? It’s that’s where the rubber meets the road. That’s where the suffering begins, because since we’re not so separate, we cause suffering to others.

We get it. I we’re, it’s all connected.

Sam Believ: That’s very deep way of seeing thirst, but yeah. I’m sure you’re you’re getting thirsty and I don’t wanna cause any more suffering. So let’s,

Daniel Shankin: It’s just an example. It’s just a handy example.

Sam Believ: Yeah. We can start wrapping it up. Yeah. Once again, to avoid the suffering. So my back hurts a little bit oh

Daniel Shankin: man.

So sorry. Do we have it rough or what? Yeah. What you say? Do we have it rough or what? I’m not sure what that means. When you have it rough, right? That’s just like a us saying we’ve got it bad. Like we’re really in bad shape. The two of us we’re two peas in a pod, a hurt back and a thirsty mouth.

Sam Believ: Fathership does that to you. Householding, as you say. Householders. Before we wrap up, can you talk to us about the Mount Dam Psychedelic Training Coaching Center? Psychedelic Integration Coaching center?

Daniel Shankin: Oh yeah. So we have a year long program. We train people to be coaches and it is highly practical.

I like to think, this is one of the things that sets us apart from some of the other programs that are all great as well. But, I have this yoga teacher background and I used to teach yoga teacher trainings and philosophy is nice and everything, but we really want to, oh, hold on real quick.

We got a visitor. Hello? Yeah. Bring you in. There’s another dad here.

Can you bring me a little water?

Water? Yeah. There’s no water, babe. So we, so it’s a pr so we want to teach people to really, like, how do you work with people? What is it like to be in the trenches? ’cause it’s like it doesn’t help my students really if I say, Hey, write a paper on whether or not psilocybin is good for major depressive disorder.

It’s what we know that it usually is. I want to help folks ask good questions and to have the tools and the skills to design good field work. It’s a, it’s about 200 hours the program we meet a couple of times a year. Thank you and I appreciate it. And.

You gonna drink the whole thing now? You good? Yeah. Can I have some? Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

How old is he? How old are you? Two. He’s two. You two, right? Can you do this?

Hello? Hello. Hello. And so that’s the program. I’m doing a great job of selling it, I’m sure. But, we really, we, I look at it almost like a yoga teacher training in a lot of ways. Or a a technical college, right? If you’re gonna train somebody to, fix your plumbing, you wanna know that they can fix your plumbing, they don’t, you don’t care about philosophy of plumbing, right? That’s of this,

Sam Believ: if they know Bruno’s principle flow, laminar flow, et cetera.

Daniel Shankin: So you need to know the ones that actually allow you to do this, the work that you’re gonna do. And so that’s what we’re focusing on. We’re focused on like skill building in a lot of ways and we’re coming up on our fourth cohort in the fall and, it’s shaping up is probably gonna be pretty great.

And that’s what we do.

Sam Believ: That’s really great. And I hope some of the listeners will will be interested. Yeah I approve of your practical approach. We do something very similar. Ayahuasca is very diverse and there’s so many things you can do with it. So we just focus on healing.

Just do this one thing, do it well, and then you can do other things later. So where can people find more about you and more about your coaching program?

Daniel Shankin: Tam integration.com. Like we, we come up the Instagram, you found me on Instagram. I think, that we’ve got a pretty decent following there.

And we have all the social properties. I’m sure you’ll put the notes, oh, there it goes. It’s off

Sam Believ: Instagram at TAM integration.

Daniel Shankin: Yeah, there’s a website too. TAM integration. And we do have ioss on staff. My assistant, has been assisting in ceremonies for decades, 30 years or so.

Down in the jungle and things like that. So we’re tuned in to, even though, I’ve only had minimal AYA experience, we’ve got some. Some good big initiates there in the program. Supporting folks who that’s their medicine. And of course, one of the things we like to say one, one thing ’cause sometimes people are like, oh, what do you do?

Like, how do you integrate this? Versus how do you integrate that? It’s we’re you integrate people, right? It’s not necessarily about a molecule, you just support the person where they’re at. So there you go. Thank you. Thanks for your patience.

Sam Believ: There are a lot of similarities, but yeah, integration.

People need psychedelic people so that they have something to integrate and psychedelic people need integration people so that we can get support and we both need to learn from each other so that we can, make make it work, make people better, and feel better and be happier. So Daniel, thank you so much.

It was a really interesting episode. It was a little different than others. We did we did our. Think your thing and all and stuff like that. So I enjoyed it and I definitely am no longer stressed. So yeah, it’s psychotherapy. Good. Go take a nap with

Daniel Shankin: your baby or something.

Sam Believ: No.

Right now a group of 26 people is gonna arrive and I have to sit in front of them and talk for a few hours. So it’s good for me not to be stressed. Awesome. Tell him I said hi. Yeah. Okay.

Daniel Shankin: Thank you so much. It was really fun to talk to you.

Sam Believ: Thank you, Danielle,

Daniel Shankin: or be well

Sam Believ: guys, you were listening to our podcast.

As always. We do the host and believe, and I’ll see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information.

Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Matt Zemon.

Matt is an educator, author, and leader in psychedelic wellness, specializing in the impact of psychedelics on mental health. Holding a master’s degree in psychology and neuroscience, he has authored several bestselling books, including Psychedelics for Everyone and The Veterans Guide to Psychedelics. His latest book, The Beginner’s Guide to Psychedelics, explores how to safely navigate the world of plant medicines.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Matt’s first psychedelic experience and its impact (00:57)
  • His journey exploring different psychedelics worldwide (01:22)
  • The role of Ayahuasca in veterans’ healing (03:01)
  • Why veterans respond well to Ayahuasca therapy (04:30)
  • The importance of multi-night Ayahuasca retreats (06:19)
  • Launching a nonprofit for veteran-only Ayahuasca retreats (08:17)
  • Potential challenges of veteran-exclusive Ayahuasca groups (09:14)
  • The idea of UFC athlete Ayahuasca retreats (11:28)
  • The connection between psychedelics, PTSD, and trauma healing (13:35)
  • Psychedelics as catalysts, not cures (18:11)
  • Integration: What to do after an Ayahuasca experience (19:14)
  • The power of community in sustaining psychedelic healing (20:35)
  • Bringing psychedelics into family settings (25:09)
  • The role of psychedelics in modern rites of passage (28:38)
  • Spirituality’s role in psychedelic healing (46:03)
  • The future of psychedelics and concerns about commercialization (49:14)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com.

Find more about Matt Zemon at http://www.mattzemon.com or follow him on LinkedIn and Instagram. His new book The Beginner’s Guide to Psychedelics is available on Amazon.

Transcript

Matt Zemon: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com. Psychedelics aren’t a cure for anything. They’re catalysts. They are things that we do periodically to help connect with source or spirit or God or whatever you wanna call it. They are a tool to. Connect with community to remember that we are not alone in this world and that we are supported by this world.

They help put our biologically, put us into a position where we can unpack these things from the past or look at the present with clearer eyes. But then we start the practice. We take these insights and awarenesses and awakenings, and we move them into the everyday life. It’s not like our western idea of medicine.

We’re gonna take a pill. Cure us. No, it, it will help give us insights and awakenings and awarenesses that then we can choose to bring into our everyday experience or not. But that’s the practice, that’s the integration, that’s what most of life is.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast, as always with you, the whole assembly. Today I’m having a conversation with Matt Zaman. Matt is an educator, author, and a leader in psychedelic wellness, specializing in the impact of psychedelics on mental health. He holds a master’s degree in psychologist psychology and neuroscience.

Matt has authored several bestselling books. Including psychedelics for everyone. The Beginner’s Guide to these powerful medicines for Anxiety, depression, addiction, PTSD, and expanding Consciousness Beyond the Trip and the Veterans Guide to Psychedelics. In this episode, we talk about why psychedelics are for everyone, psychedelics for veterans and first responders.

Why you should have several. Back-to-back ayahuasca ceremonies and not just one. Finding a conscious community, psychedelics as a rite of passage, future of psychedelics in our society, role of spirituality and healing. Spiritual amnesia, and so much more. Enjoyed this episode. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat.

At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Ra, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Matt, welcome to the show.

Matt Zemon: Sam, it’s great to be here. I appreciate all the work you do in the world with ayahuasca.

Sam Believ: Thank you, Matt. Same goes to you. Matt talk to us a little bit about your life story and what brought you to this path.

Why is, why are psychedelics your focus?

Matt Zemon: Sam, I fell into this by accident. I had some friends invite me, in my case to a guided magic mushroom journey. And I went in with really low expectations. And in that first ceremony that changed the way I look at the world. I reconnected with my mom who died when I was 22.

She was just 49. I had insight after insight. I felt so incredibly safe and loved. And then I realized I don’t feel that level of safety and love in my everyday life, and I wanted to know more about that. And when I came outta that ceremony, I knew I needed to learn more, so I went back to school.

I got that master’s you were talking about, but I also traveled around the world and experienced different types of psychedelics from different types of practitioners. Everything from Tatas and shaman and maestros and straws to MDs and PhDs. And at this point I love the intersection of where of spirituality and medical best practice.

Sam Believ: Thank you for sharing that. You said there was an accident that you fell into the space. I would call it a synchronicity. I guess it’s a very similar story to many people. You just. One day, find yourself that nothing excites you more. You mentioned mushrooms and then you said you tried different psychedelics.

Talk to us about that. What what psychedelics do you work with and what do you think about ayahuasca and I know you had ayahuasca experiences as well.

Matt Zemon: Yeah, of course. Primarily. I work with psilocybin these days. From time to time I participate in a ceremony that includes sassafras and that includes bufo and then in the veterans work I’ve been doing over the past this past year in particular, they do a lot of work with ayahuasca.

So I ended up doing work with more work with Ayahuasca this past year. I worked with a group called Heroic Hearts Project, and they take veterans to Central and South America and Mexico, and now to Oregon where they can access legal psychedelics and have really transformative experiences focused typically on, on treatment resistant post-traumatic stress disorder.

And for them ayahuasca and high dose mushrooms seem to be the most effective. And it was beautiful to get back into the jungle, to work with Shabo healers and to and to watch the transformations take place and participate over, over, over a course of a week this past summer with them.

Sam Believ: It’s interesting that that you speak about veterans specifically, at the moment here at my retreat, we actually have a group of 26 people, two of which are veterans. So this morning we’re at the word circle and one of them was talking about that he felt that he was carrying this dead body of the last person he killed in war.

On himself. And he got released from it. So it’s really interesting. I’m very for no particular reason. I’m really passionate about that. ’cause I’ve seen how many, how much it helps veterans specifically. So talk to us about that. What have you observed in in work with veterans?

Why do veterans seem to respond specifically that wall with ayahuasca? Anything about that topic?

Matt Zemon: Yeah, I think I went into this year certainly knowing or expecting that the stories from being in combat or from the intensity of some of the training was gonna lead to trauma. What I think I was most surprised about is how many of these soldiers or these veterans that I spoke with that had really challenging childhoods.

Those childhoods, those challenging childhood childhoods is what led them to the military to begin with. So as I watched them in preparation sessions, as I participated in ayahuasca with them, as I sat and did integration sessions with them, the in many cases, the trauma they were unpacking is not that different than the trauma that many people unpack with ayahuasca.

So then why ayahuasca? It’s, I think for. For this group, I think having having the ability to turn down shame, blame and guilt. I think having the trust in the ceremonial process versus the medical process is something that mattered. And I think there’s a physicality to ayahuasca that the veterans in particularly, I think they wanted, that, they wanted that the purging the nighttime, ceremony. Yeah, I think just the overall intensity of it. And then I think I, in their case, they did three nights in a row of of ayahuasca and I actually, that’s the only time, that’s the only way I’ve experienced it, is back to back. And I think that’s also super helpful and that they, it takes the pressure off.

I’ve seen so many ceremonies where people come in for one day and it’s oh, I’ve gotta make it happen. I’ve gotta make something happen today. When you have back to back, it takes the pressure off. And then I think what ends up happening is people have experience after experience.

Has that been your experience, Sam?

Sam Believ: Yeah, definitely. So a lot of people don’t know, but with ayahuasca as opposed to mushrooms there’s something that’s called reverse tolerance. So the more you drink, the more sensitive you become. So for example, if you work with mushrooms and somebody takes. Five grams of mushrooms today, five grams of mushrooms tomorrow, it, the result diminishes and you cannot really give them a little bit more mushrooms.

It’s the titration is only possible with with the, because you can give them just a little more and it will be actually. As strong as it was and even stronger. So we do four day retreats, one week retreats, 11 day retreats, 18 day retreats. I always recommend one week, four days is for somebody who has done it before.

They just need a quick reconnect and they absolutely cannot give more than a weekend for that. So definitely what we do is three night ceremonies, then one day break, and then one day ceremony, and it’s like the chair on top. And this has been a absolutely winning format, yeah, one day Ceremonies definitely don’t recommend ’cause half of the people will leave empty handed and frustrated even though something will be done.

But it’s, when I say to people, it’s on the first ceremony, only half of you will connect. People will assume that it’s too bad for the other half that will not connect. That happens over and over again. Interestingly I wanna talk, I wanna keep talking about veterans and I is glad, I’m glad that you have the experience.

I’m actually working right now with one of the veterans that came through our doors, and also one of the girls that came through the wire and she also, she started an NGO. So we’re working together to start an NGO to get people to donate, to organize veteran only retreats. And it’s something I’ve been thinking about since the day I started the retreat and we had probably close to close target veterans coming through our door.

We already have a name. It’s actually play on hero’s journey, but it’s hero’s healing journey. So it’s it would be retreats for first responders. I think it’s the first time I mentioned it publicly. Not that a lot of people care, but still. The idea is doing this, but I’ve always wondered, ’cause I’ve never had more than three veterans per ceremony, let’s say five to 10% of the group.

But I always wondered what if you collect the group of 30 veterans? Those are people that suffer greatly and also cause a lot of suffering. There are people that are trained killers. Have you observed? Maybe my personal fear would be. Maybe violence coming up. Have you seen that come up?

Matt Zemon: So I’ve never sat in a group of that size of 30 and certainly not a group of that size of all veterans. I think my concern would be probably what you’re echoing here. Even in a group of maybe eight. It still takes a lot of energy in the room to manage that. So if you have two maestros or Tita and you have a few sitters I just can’t imagine what you would need from a staff ratio to be prepared for if that goes sideways with that many people.

I’ve certainly heard stories of of veterans getting. Emotionally discharging and physically emotionally discharging and causing pain to a facilitator. So I think just watching that ratio of a staff to participant would probably be just have extra important when it comes to veterans, to soldiers, the first responders, so people who use their bodies regularly and might have a more likely to have a visceral response.

That being said, I didn’t see, and then the group that I was in for three nights there, there was none of that I was at all concerned about. And I think the majority of their retreats and ceremonies, there’s not a lot of that. And we know we, we don’t work for the majority. We work for the minority where we have to be prepared for that exception.

And yeah, I think I overstaff.

Sam Believ: Yeah, so far it seems that people from whom you expect the violence are the people that cause the least violence. And I’ve been heard the most actually by very skinny, small female participants with very sharp nails when you have to hold them down and they scratch you and things like that.

But it’s really a rare thing. It’s, you can only. It only happens when you work with thousands of people. But yeah, for example our average ceremony is about 25 people and our team is 12 people. But let’s say, I was thinking, I was talking to one UFCI actually interviewed one ex UFC champion and we were we were going to organize this year a retreat for UFC people.

And that’s even more dangerous ’cause they specifically, know how to fight. Hand to hand. Yeah, that’s a, that’s an interesting the only way to find out is to experiment. I I need to, we have a gym here at the retreat, so I’m gonna tell my facilitators to start working out more often.

Matt Zemon: I love the the UFC, so we we might have a mutual friend in the UFC world.

Sam Believ: You don’t recall.

Matt Zemon: Yeah, exactly. Great guy. Do, doing a lot of work. It’s interesting that intersection of, okay, so now these are young physical men and women who’ve lost their identity and they were champions and then they just can’t continue.

So they have loss of a profession, loss of an identity, may potentially traumatic brain injury as they’re coming down to these ceremonies and it’s fascinating to, to see the power of Ayahuasca and other psychedelics in helping them remember who they are and and find a new path forward.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s very similar to veterans as well, especially when they go back home from the war. Everything they’ve been trained for, all of a sudden they cannot do. And they people they supposed to protect, they don’t really care that much. And, yeah, it’s a d it’s a difficult job and a different difficult recovery.

But I also like what you said about people experiencing PTSD, the veterans having, suffering very similarly to people that never went to war. And also then we have this stigma where people assume that because they are not war veterans and they’ve just been, hurt by their family, then they cannot really use this title of PTSD.

So I don’t know if you have anything to say

Matt Zemon: about that. I have a lot to say about that. I think comparison is the death of happiness period. So whether I’m comparing my trauma to your trauma my experiences to your experiences, my place in the world to yours, that’s that none of that’s gonna lead to happiness.

I think people who listen to these podcasts. And have not yet participated, are looking for permission. And my question back to them is you’re here, you’re on the path. So why, what are you listening for that you haven’t heard already that’s making you think that this medicine is okay for you?

Why isn’t this medicine okay for you? So yes, all of us have different life experiences that shape us. All of us are worthy of love, of giving love and receiving love in abundance. And this medicine doesn’t change who we are. It helps us remember who we already are. So it doesn’t matter how you got to here, this tool might be effective for helping us to bring the experiences of the past up close so we can discover it, we can then transform it.

Then we can make more meaning of the present and the future.

Sam Believ: Well said Matt. So what are you li what are you waiting for? Just to pause this podcast and go book a retreat. Go book a retreat. I’ll see you next month. That’s right. It’s

Matt Zemon: head on down to Columbia, everybody. Here we go.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I know you have a book titled Psychedelics are for Everyone.

That’s very interesting because I’ve been telling something very similar, but I, what I say is Ayahuasca is. Almost for everyone. So talk to us about the title and the pushback you receive from having a title like this.

Matt Zemon: Yeah, so I, I do get pushback on this. I didn’t ever mean that psychedelics were for everyone to take.

There are definitely people who have c certain contraindications or have family history where taking a psychedelic is not safe for them. And that being said, I believe they’re good for society. So whether, so when people read these books, my hope is that maybe they’re reading it for themselves so that they can decide whether they want to participate in a psychedelic experience or not.

Maybe they’re reading it to have a better understanding of a friend or a family member who might use this medicine, this ancient medicine is this tool to help their process. Maybe they’re just doing it to understand better how to vote in the next election. Overall psychedelics in my experience, have been, are good for society.

They’re good for us as individuals and more specifically, it’s good for me. And I’m trying to speak from the eye more and more these days. So that’s where the yeah. In my experience, psychedelics have been incredibly powerful. Maybe a better father, better husband, better friend, better brother.

Yeah, it’s changed my life.

Sam Believ: That’s great to hear. I agree with you. I’m also in a sort of optimist camp and I’ve seen personally more than 2000 people go through our doors. And obviously I don’t talk about psychedelics in general ’cause I am mostly. Aware of the Ayahuasca work, but it seems to be amazingly productive 99% of times.

And the only 1% is when you’re extremely sick. Like we had to send people home where they came with their whites of their eye being yellow because they have liver failure. And we’re like, we’re not gonna give you ayahuasca when you’re, that that hurt. Or also, certain. Mental health conditions are taking certain medications, but apart from that, the only time it’s not productive is when you’re resisting the actual experience and then you don’t get anything from it.

But we do our best to train people to not resist.

Matt Zemon: And that’s something surrendering is such an important part of the process. I think what I also like people, what I talk about a lot, Sam, I don’t know if you know the similar language, is that psychedelics aren’t a cure for anything. They’re catalysts, they are things that we do periodically to help connect with source or spirit or God or whatever you wanna call it.

They are a tool to connect with community, to remember that we are not alone in this world and that we are supported by this world. They help put our biologically put us into a position where we can unpack these things from the past or look at the present with clearer eyes. But then we start the practice.

We take these insights and awarenesses and awakenings, and we move them into the everyday life. So they don’t, it’s not like our western idea of medicine. We’re gonna take a pill and it’s gonna cure us. No. It will help give us insights and awakenings and awarenesses that then we can choose to bring into our everyday experience or not.

But that’s the practice, that’s the integration, that’s what most of life is.

Sam Believ: Yeah. You gotta meet Alaska halfway and doesn’t do all the work for you, but it does definitely open the door for you, but then you have to walk through it. You talk about the practice, tell us more. Just go in depth. Somebody just did AYA escort, they did some ceremony of some psychedelic.

What should they do next?

Matt Zemon: Now it’s Camille. Let’s go back to the veterans. And part of why I put this the Veterans Guide to psychedelics together again with Heroic Hearts Project. Is to give activities for people to do following a a psychedelic journey. So in this case, we put four weeks of activities where you’re unpacking you’re spending time thinking about the new sensations, spending time thinking about the future.

There’s also a 30 day gratitude journal where just each day while our minds are experiencing more neuroplasticity. We’re able to learn rapidly that we just help train it for the positive. So those are all I don’t know, easy activities to do for the first day, 30 days following ceremony.

The bigger activity, the bigger thing is how do we then find a consciousness community or some community where we can do our individual work together, where I can remind you that you are worthy, you are loved, you are enough, and you can do the same thing for me, and we can. Continue to practice and keep in the front of our minds the things we learned while we were on the Ayahuasca or whatever psychedelic we’re using journey.

I think in my experience, those that have found community following ceremony or those who can see the longer benefits of the medicine and the ability to move in the everyday world with that awareness at the medicine that they saw, certainly saw in ceremony. How do they keep it alive in them?

And that’s where I think community is so important. And that’s just something that the, our western northwestern society isn’t really equipped for. So how do we borrow what all of our grandparents and indigenous brothers and sisters knew of the importance of community? How do we Remi do that for ourselves?

Sam Believ: I wanna remind you something, Matt. You are worthy and you are loved.

Matt Zemon: I appreciate that, Sam. Thank you.

Sam Believ: And yeah, we observe it all the time. I like to say the best way to make friends as an adult is to come to an Iowa School retreat because people bond so quickly. And if I could throw a number out there, I would say maybe half of the healing comes from the community itself.

Just the interaction and mutual support. I’m just wondering for someone who maybe doesn’t want to drink ayahuasca, like how could people replicate that? Because all it takes is a fire, couple chairs around it. And avoiding talking about politics and religion and just trying to like just be.

It’s such a simple thing, but like why don’t we have, why don’t we have more of that in the west? How do do you have any, have you observed any cool communities or any cool ideas maybe people can pursue?

Matt Zemon: Yeah, I mean I think there’s a lot of ways up the mountain, so some people will choose and to use Ayahuasca as a tool.

But then again, what do they do for all those days? They’re not using ayahuasca. And I love what you said. You talked about being in nature. You talked about being around a fire. You talked about being in community. You talked about sharing stories, you talked about keeping to topics where, that aren’t politically charged or that people won’t and that people will not stop listening.

And I think that’s, yeah, that’s important. I’m, what’s coming forward for me is, all of these mystic traditions where it’s not about what is read or described or the words used to talk about an experience, it’s the feeling of being connected, the feeling of connecting to. This energy to nature, to each other.

How do we keep that alive in everyday life? So for some of us, it’s gonna look like running. For others, it’s gonna look like just joining any group. It can go, bowling, go. It doesn’t make a difference. Do something in community where where we can remind each other that we’re not alone. And then carving out time of the day too.

Watch our own thoughts to re to be aware that I am not my thoughts are just passing through. And then maybe just a time for gratitude to reflect on, wow, how lucky are am I to be alive, period. To be alive now when there’s never been a more housing, more food, lower cost of education, of knowledge, I should say not of none of college.

In every metric, the world’s a better place. It, and it can be messed up in so many ways, but in so many other ways as from 500 years ago. There’s a lot of good things happening now. So do I allocate some time for gratitude, just like I did in ceremony. And ceremony can be hard, it can be sad, it can be beautiful, and it can be all in the same messy six hours.

How do I assign some day, some part of my day to just say thanks and so that life is not all transactional. There’s a devotional aspect of life.

Sam Believ: Yeah, gratitude is really important. Another thing on a note of community, obviously the closest community we all have is is a family. I know you brought your son what he wants to, to a retreat.

Why did you do and also what do you think are, is, can be the role of those plaid medicines and in, in the, in our families.

Matt Zemon: I love that. I love I love intergenerational ceremonies where we have a 80-year-old mom, 50 something year old dad and 27-year-old son, all in the same room. Those are so beautiful where healing is going up and down the ladder and around.

I love the use of medicine and in the life work I’ve seen. Just incredible healing, both for the person who’s in the active state of dying and for the loved ones bearing witness. Going back to my son in this case, he had asked to come to a retreat and I asked, did you, do you wanna do psychedelics?

He said, no, I just wanna see what you’re up to. So he came and he was a helper and he helped people with a bathroom and blankets and water bottles. And and we had this really beautiful moment where. I was in a garden area and I opened my eyes and he was right in front of me and I was able to hug him and to really feel him and vice versa and say to him, look, my, my dad died when I was 19 and I, no one gave me a guide to being a parent.

And I just need you to know that I’m doing the best that I know how to do and that I love you so much. And we held each other for a little bit longer, and then he went on to go help some more people. And I continued on my journey and it was such a beautiful, moment in our relationship. So grateful to have had that opportunity with him.

Yeah, I think having, I think the use of today, I wish, I don’t wish I’m watching more and more of them take, choose to use entheogen or psychedelics as they coming of age for themselves. And I think we as parents can either let them do it on their own, which they’re doing anyhow. Or we can take an active role and we can talk to them about this, we can invite them, we can plan a trip down to Columbia as a father, son, mother, daughter, family and we can take an active role in these experiences.

Which I think then leads to all sorts of conversations that for any family, we all have ’em. We all have the, I, my wife and I joke here that I think everything we say at home is just an, it’s just an excuse to say, I love you. Did you do the dishes? I love you. What are we having for dinner?

I love you. What are we gonna do tonight? I love you. It’s just nonsense words to try to get across that feeling. Choosing to do psychedelics as a family is a way to really bring that emotion into everybody and to find new language and to communicate in a very different way.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we had entire families of five people participating together, and honestly I felt jealous.

I would love to have this ’cause I managed to bring. My mom, my brother, and my sister plus me together. So it’s except for my dad, so missing one very important part from which a lot of the trauma came from. So having the entire family that’s I’ve observed it’s extremely healing.

And I love the idea of using those ancient traditions as a rite of passage. Because we just don’t have it anymore. We used to be a thing in every culture and now we don’t have one, so might as well borrow this one. And it’s, it is beautiful. It is meaningful. It’s also full of challenges that kind of seems what the right of passage generally entails.

So yeah, I’m gonna, I’m gonna use it with with my kids perhaps. So I’ve I have three, three kids and, when you describe, the feeling you felt with your son in this ceremony, it’s I love my kids a lot, but it’s life happens and you’re stressed and this and that. It’s really hard to be like hundred hundred percent focused on one emotion, but let’s say, because like my house is 30 meters away from the moloca from the ceremony space and I.

I drink occasionally as well. So I come from the moloca after the ceremony and I see my son or my daughter on the bed sleeping. And it’s just you just have so much love. You can’t, it’s a really great way to connect with them. So Sam, I love that from the

Matt Zemon: perspective of the father to the child.

And I love that as a coming of age. We were just talking about, and I think I’m gonna add one more thing to this discussion for kids. Is we need our, this next generation to be creative, to be loving, to realize that we’re connected and to help find solutions for all of us in this future, in these tools.

They break down the stereotypes, they break down the stories. And I believe it’s the, it’s critical. To figure out how we’re gonna deal with climate regardless of how it’s caused, it doesn’t matter. How are we gonna deal with climate change period, climate migration, period? How are we gonna deal with the change in the political landscapes, good or bad, doesn’t make a difference.

It’s change is happening. What is this generation gonna do with the cost of housing? They’re gonna have to think about. Different ways to organize community because they can’t live in the same places that many of us lived in because everything of a value is spoken for and expensive. So what are they gonna do?

How do they organize? They’re not participating in in churches or synagogues like former generations. So what are they gonna do for community? And what are they gonna do with ai? Taking so many of the jobs. So how do they use their hands again? How do they find their own power? How do they find their own way to make a mark in this world, in this human experience and these medicines?

By removing the stories, by reminding them that you’re powerful right now and you’re worthy right now. So what do you wanna do with that power? I think is just really healthy for them.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The AI is something I think about a lot because I have three very young kids, and I think conventional education or what?

Conventional education, the common professions, doctor, engineer, lawyer, all those things are very ai, not proof. So of course I don’t think if if you become a showman that’s hard to be replaced by ai right? Or working with people. But, it’s a tricky one to solve. Like you, there’s very few things that are protected from what AI can do.

So I don’t know, maybe that, that’s off topic. Not,

Matt Zemon: I don’t think it’s off topic, Sam. ’cause you’re you, and actually you just made a joke. That is, it’s something I think about, which is the respect. For the indigenous wisdom keepers and the way they’ve held these medicines and how ceremony is run.

And you said you can’t put AI as a shaman? Absolutely not. But there are absolutely groups who believe you can mail order psychedelics and that you can have a virtual AI guardian. And they’re pushing those, that philosophy in different directions. And I’m all for access. And I think there is a there is a way potentially to do some of these things, mail order, but many of them you cannot.

And the, when we’re talking about large dose psychedelics, having someone who knows all the things that could come up and can work with all those things is. Is essential. So it’s, we’re making a joke, but I think modern pharmacology is pushing and psychology is pushing what can happen with psychedelics without any, without as much respect for the indigenous or ceremonial processes as I would like to see at this point.

Sam Believ: Yeah definitely. No, you cannot replace a shaman. With ai, but I’m sure they will try, or at least they might replace the, they might try to replace the thing that appears to be a shaman, because you can, that’s a very off far off speculation, but let’s say you can make a robot that looks like a shaman and they can serve you a cup.

Maybe even sing an I or a medicine song, but it does not mean they can replicate the underlying spiritual process. But that’s something I talk to people when they come and they think they see a shaman and they, he serves them a cop, and then he sings some songs and he just sits there.

It’s that’s the easiest job ever, because like they don’t understand, the underlying. Spiritual stuff. That’s the heavy lifting the shamans do. Let’s talk about ceremony. Talk about your own experiences. Like what are some of the most challenging ceremonies you had?

Mushrooms or ayahuasca? Whatever comes to mind.

Matt Zemon: For me personally or for things I’ve seen in the room? Both. It can be both. What’s coming up? I had an experience with with Ayahuasca actually, that I felt so vulnerable. Like I had this, I felt like I was in I had actually felt like I had uncovered a secret religion. And then there’s this power and control dynamic and that they were.

Potentially gonna take all my money and that I was at risk. And what was interesting in that one for me is that the two things happened. One, my, my wife came really prevalent in my psyche and that she was gonna help keep me safe. But then the Icarus of the, in this case was Shabo healers came and said no.

You’ve picked a, you have picked a safe. Healing place and that these Zs and this tradition, this lineage is gonna keep you safe and that we’re not gonna take advantage and we’re not gonna take all your money and you’re gonna be fine and go back in and do the work. And having that whole conversation in that other plane was just incredible.

But I just need the level of vulnerability. Was really scary in different ways. I’ve had death experience, but also I’ve had lots of those things. But this vulnerability was it just got me I have loved the dying, turning into worm food is what I say. Experiences where where there’s that whole emotional rollercoaster of oh wow, if I’ve crossed over and, then followed by the moment of realization that I’m still breathing and I’m still alive. And that gratitude that floods floods me is so incredibly beautiful. It’s really hard to find the words for that that, wow, how lucky am I to be able to still be breathing on this planet? And there’s work to be done.

And how lucky am I, I think the things in the room as I’ve, I mean you, so you’ve worked with thousands of people. I’ve I’m pushing almost a thousand at this point. I think I keep learning that it’s unexpected. The potentially the harder it looks at a person is going through it, it’s sometimes so beautiful.

It’s just what they needed. More often than not, it’s just what they needed. Maybe always it’s just what they needed. And reminding myself that I don’t know what’s going on at the inside. I don’t know the 50 years of experience that brought them here. And my job is to send love and know that we’re all doing this together.

And my learning, healing and growing is their learning and their learning healing. Growing is mine. And we do this individual work in community. And just to trust that if we are doing our jobs right on the front end with medical screening and preparing an informed consent, and then they have resources on the back end for whether it’s therapists or coaches or community and integration process, that whatever’s happening during the ceremony is gonna be perfectly fine.

It just might look funny to me, but that’s what they needed for them. What have you seen? What’s been your, what comes to mind with that question for you?

Sam Believ: First of all, what you’re saying about the harder the experience the better in a way that sometimes I even differently, sometimes I’m in the ceremony and I look around and it seems like nothing is happening, and I’m like there’ll be a lot of people next day complaining about.

Not connecting. And that’s, it’s not what they expect. Fighting with expectation is the mess, the biggest battle when running an hour retreat. But then next day they all come out with this amazing stories and it’s just so profound. But you could not see what happens in internally. And another thing that I figured been learning is that everything that happens at an Ayahuasca retreat.

Be it ceremony or in between, the ceremony is a part of it and not all of it is necessarily positive. So I remember in the very early years of facilitating I was always fighting and being very emotionally invested to make sure that everyone is always feeling positive and happy. And I was guiding in such a way to avoid, friction and then I realized like those bad emotions or sometimes somebody.

Offend somebody, they trigger a lot of healing down the line. So the kinda like unpredictability of that healing and just accepting that no matter how much, you don’t really know. But regarding, deep experiences. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been slapped, I’ve been scratched, I’ve been spit at, I’ve been puked at I have a really great team right now.

And a very big and very loving team. So I’m not in every ceremony anymore. I just can’t, there’s too much work I need to do outside of it, but it’s a beautiful mess, the ceremony. It’s that’s how I could describe it.

Matt Zemon: I like that. And I love the the other thing coming forward for me as you’re speaking is I realize.

And I really, and I, it’s important to me that the people I participate in ceremony know this. No matter who is the facilitator, nobody did anything for you. So it’s not my job or their job to help you have a breakthrough. Our job is to create a container, to create a space, to create a, an area where you can do your work deeply.

And if you’re able to surrender to the medicine and you have whatever breakthrough you have, you did that. And if you didn’t have that, you didn’t do that. But it has nothing. It’s not our job. And we should get no credit or no blame for that portion of it keeping you safe. That is a hundred percent what our role is.

And then making sure this is as risk reduced as possible for you.

Sam Believ: Yeah, for certain job is difficult in that way because if you don’t thread lightly and if you try to make it about yourself. Then you can, I’ve had unfortunately experiences with some facilitators in the early day that they wanted to be there in the moment of breakthrough, as if a chick, newborn chick imprinting on the mother, the person coming through this breakthrough experience would imprint on them make their breakthrough about them as if wow, if not for you, I would never have this.

I quickly learned to fire those people to make sure there, there’s a lot of ego in this space. There’s a lot of people that wanted to be about them, but at the same time, we have to be available, but also not too much because some people latch to you like a like a live boy and they want you to go through their experience and it’s like you need to like, let them fly. Once again, a bird analogy, but throw them out of the nest so they learn how to fly themselves. Yeah it’s very interesting and there’s never, I know a fair much about the ceremony, but that there’s no limit to learning. So there’s this, once you grasp a little bit about healing and maybe go through your own healing journey.

Not that it’s ever over. Then there’s this unlimited spiritual exploration. That’s what fascinates me about the space of psychedelics. There’s you cannot ever deplete this. It’s like that’s one thing that, you can be into cars or you can be into any given topic or women or whatever.

There’s just one thing that will never lose. It’s shy in a way that there will always be something, and I think that’s the space of spirituality slash psychedelics. So I don’t know if you have any thoughts on that.

Matt Zemon: Yeah, I mean it’s, I struggle with this language because people say in the psychedelic space and Sure.

Yeah. I work with Inogen regularly. I talk with medical professionals and how they can incorporate ceremonial best practices. Sure, I’m in the psychedelic space, but the reality is. Just like everybody, I’m a spiritual peer. I’m a person having my own existence and I’m in the I’d say I’m more in the spiritual space using Entheogen as a tool from time to time.

Now it’s easy to lead with psychedelics ’cause that breaks the ice, that, that leads to the conversation. And in a place where people are looking and have so many questions because of our 50 years of prohibition, it’s nice to be able to offer, solid information on how to reduce risk, how to pay attention to source, and to set, and to setting and how they can access psychedelics, whether it’s in a medical model, a ceremonial model, or a decriminalization model or retreat model.

But I see myself really much more in the, just in the human space than the psychedelic space.

Sam Believ: Yeah. This is, yeah, this is how I see it as well. I think there is also, everything is spiritual in the end. There’s the being born as a spiritual process and I’ve interviewed people that had near death experience that was very similar to an ayahuasca ceremony.

So I know that being born, giving birth, ’cause my wife described that as well, and dying is all a spiritual process and it’s just this little piece in between. That is not spiritual. I mean it is, but we are sorta oblivious to it.

Matt Zemon: Oh, spiritual amnesia that we have in our culture and that our culture helps us continue and that we have a chance to break through it with these tools.

Sam Believ: Talking about spirituality, what do you think is the role of spirituality in healing? ’cause you talk about PTSD addiction, depression, healing with plant medicines. What is the role of SP spirituality in it?

Matt Zemon: I think so much of what we do in our culture is I want the world to change how it addresses me, how it thinks about me so that I can be safe.

So that I can be whole. There’s all the stuff about I me. When it comes to modern psychology, and I think this plant medicine path reminds us, reminds me that we are all connected. We may look like different waves, but we’re part of the same ocean. And with that understanding, then certainly the feelings of loneliness can go away.

With that understanding the idea of where and how many ways am I supported can come through and can come clear. And then when I realized that all of us are walking this together, that okay, there’s be things that are harder for me and easier for them and vice versa, but I can support others as well as supporting myself and while supporting myself.

I think a lot of, for many people. Things, depression, anxiety lifts. I think the planned medicine can break the repetitive behavior that has led to choices that might not be in alignment, whether that’s eating, smoking, drinking any type of addiction. Could be OCD, can be, anything with repetitive thinking patterns that can, it can help break.

So you put those things together and you now say, okay, what spirituality? Spirituality is, now I’m remember that I’m connected to something bigger. I’m a spiritual creature. Having a human experience. Okay, that sounds, that’s pretty powerful. Okay. Now that I know that, can I bring that understanding into every day?

And if I can, then it’s much easier for me to be grateful every day. To look at things that happen is not happening to me, but happening for me. And then that helps shift the whole perspective. Okay I’m not loving this conversation with so and what are they here to teach me? Maybe I have to set a different boundary.

Maybe I have to work on my communication. Maybe I’ve, I’m allowing this, my people pleasing skills. Maybe I’m doing treating them like I did my father or my mother. So I think spirituality, it come it’s everything. When it comes it’s a core part of this. Was that, did that make sense? I feel like I, I rambled a little bit there.

Sam Believ: No, I think it makes sense. Just like zooming out from your own problems, be it through a spiritual lens. I’m just a leaf on a tree makes things a little less overwhelming, so that definitely helps. So where do you see the future of psychedelics and, what are the risks on that, in that future that does involve entheogen?

Matt Zemon: So I think we’re gonna see a future of abundance with psychedelics. And I mean that from every angle. I think we’re gonna continue to see. The science world, finding ways to work with these tools and the medicalization, let’s call it that. So people, some people who choose to, will access more and more psychedelics with a framework of diagnosis.

Medicine and improvement, I think we’re gonna see more of the religious freedom continue to, we already have, I don’t know, a few hundred, maybe a thousand psychedelic churches in America. We already have organizations like your working with healers in different countries. I think they’re gonna be people who say, I don’t wanna be diagnosed, I just want to connect with a source.

I just want to heal using, in many cases, nature. And it is a religious process for me and it should be protected as a religious freedom. So I think we’re gonna see more of that. We had our fourth church in Ayahuasca church in Arizona get a federal exemption. This summer, so Church of Eagle and Condor.

It’s really exciting. I think we’re gonna continue to see the Decrim nature movement move around our country. We’ve seen city after city decriminalizing psychedelics. Part of that is that they believe that no adult should tell another adult that they can’t put nature in their body. Part of it’s access.

The medical model’s expensive. And can we, do we really wanna prosecute? Someone who has a cancer diagnosis for growing mushrooms that might alleviate the stress and anxiety that person’s feeling. So I get both of those things. And then and then I think we’ll continue to see retreats offering kind of turnkey packages for people on.

Okay let’s kickstart this in with a week of inexperience with a bunch of really trained, facilitators in a place that’s set up specifically for this type of work. And I think that’s exciting. And then I guess the last thing I’ll say is we’re seeing groups like there, there’s LA for Christians and psychedelics, there’s Sheva for Jews and psychedelics.

I think there’s a Muslim one being created that are going to work regardless of where the person does their ceremony. It’s when they come back, can they find some support in whatever faith tradition they, they’re coming from. And I think we’re gonna see more of that in the future. So lots of really promising things in the world of psychedelics.

Sam Believ: Yeah. You talk about churches and you talked about, that young people don’t really go to churches anymore. And I would definitely not want to associate myself with any like religion or church, but in a way. A community like this like LA Wire the retreat we have, there’s, there’s a lot of people have been through here and they, even though they left and they do still feel connected and of course we can’t have them all here physically, but, maybe digitally, like we’re working on building a, an online community, I think it can, so it can.

Serve that function. Not from religious point of view, but from the point of view of like community and support you can get. So that’s also, exciting for the future ’cause we can have more of those digital spaces that are worldwide. Yeah, I think that’s that’s all I wanted to ask you.

If there’s, there’s anything else you wanna talk about,

Matt Zemon: Sam? I appreciate the intention and attention you give to the work you do. You’re taking people their trust and their they’re bringing a lot to your programs and you’re doing everything that you know how to do to support them in their process and your learning as you go, as we all are.

And it’s. It is a process, it’s an evolution. We’re all human, we’re all doing this, but all of us working in this space are relatively new to this, regardless of whether it’s 10 years or 40 years, it’s still relatively new. Yeah. So I, again, I appreciate you having me on. I appreciate you. We covering more than just ayahuasca on this journey today.

Yeah, just grateful for you. Thank you.

Sam Believ: Thank you Matt. And thank you for the information you’re creating and the books you’re writing. I’m sure people that listen or read those books, they will they’ll be better off than the ones that didn’t. On that note, working like any which one of your books should our listeners.

Matt Zemon: I think by the time this comes out, the beginner’s guide to psychedelics will be out. So that’s a new book. It has a lot of information for how people can just make an informed decision about what type of psychedelic do they wanna do and what type of program are they looking for. And then it takes ’em through a preparation journey and integration process.

So if I was to pick one book and I’m. Member of just normal society, start with the Beginner’s Guide, and if you’re a veteran, start with the Veterans Guide. Amazon will have both when you’re listening to this. And then my website is matt zeman.com. I’m active on LinkedIn and Instagram. If you have questions, I absolutely will respond.

Yeah, don’t hesitate to reach out. So

Sam Believ: when does your book come out? The new one, the Beginner’s Guide.

Matt Zemon: The Beginner’s Guide is next month, just a few

Sam Believ: weeks. Cool. So I think this episode will be out in about three weeks from now. So yes, check out the book guys. And yeah, Matt, thank you so much for coming on.

It was a pleasure and I enjoyed our conversation.

Matt Zemon: Sam, thanks so much. I appreciate it.

Sam Believ: Guys, you were listening to I Ask Podcast as always, we do the whole assembly and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large.

Please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Aira Ayahuasca. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Julian Vayne.

Julian is a British occultist, psychonaut, and author known for his work in chaos magic, entheogenic spirituality, and modern paganism. He’s the author of several books including Getting Higher: The Manual of Psychedelic Ceremony, and is co-organizer of the Breaking Convention conference in the UK.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Julian’s background and path to psychedelics and magic (00:50)
  • Magic as “the technology of the imagination” (05:06)
  • Aleister Crowley’s psychedelic rituals and Julian’s first LSD experience (05:59–09:48)
  • Navigating psychedelics using magical frameworks like Hermetic Kabbalah (07:27)
  • Language around drugs, medicines, and entheogens (08:23–09:19)
  • Placebo effect, imagination, and healing (29:57–30:27)
  • The Western magical tradition and its roots in Egypt (20:06–22:06)
  • Hermes Trismegistus and the Hermetic tradition (22:26–24:40)
  • Magic vs. religion and the self-experimentation of spiritual practice (24:40–25:39)
  • Using ayahuasca for spiritual gifts and personal transformation (26:45–29:27)
  • Spirit animals, ego inflation, and spiritual humility (33:43–34:29)
  • Do people have specific spiritual gifts or all of them? (35:27–38:17)
  • Spirits and animism explained through real-world analogies (39:36–44:22)
  • What shamans do and how they interact with spirits (44:22–47:42)
  • Lost European shamanic traditions and their traces today (47:42–52:38)
  • Saunas, altered states, and ancient European heat rituals (53:06–57:46)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Julian Vayne at http://www.julianvayne.com or on social media @julianvayne. Also check out the Breaking Convention conference and their YouTube channel for more of his work.

Transcript

Julian Vayne: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com. One of the things about magic, like taking ayahuasca, you have to take the ayahuasca. You have to take this potion and you have to put it inside yourself. It’s about a practice. It’s about a technique. How do we use these plants to make the brew? Although it might be within a container of a religious movement or a particular retreat setting or whatever.

It’s also deeply personal. There’s a tension, I think, between sometimes religious beliefs, where I wanna say to you Sam, you don’t have to do any of your own self-inquiry. Here is a book. Here is my interpretation of this book, and this is all you need to run your life, right? This is what you basically need.

Whereas what magical processes tend to do is they’re very much about how can I make sense of the world for myself? How can I do this experiment in order to explore spirituality for myself? And there’s no more obvious a way of doing that self experiment than to take a powerful, mind altering substance.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast, as always with you, the whole Sam Leaf. Today I’m having a conversation with Julian Vain. Julian is a British occultist writer and OT known for his work in chaos, magic psychedelics, and modern paganism. He has written extensively on esoteric topics, including ritual, magic and genic spirituality, and altered states of consciousness.

One of his notable books is Getting Higher, the Manual of Psychedelic Ceremony. In this episode, we talk about connection between magic and rogens. What is magic placebo effect? Western magical tradition, Hermas, where does the world abracadabra comes from? What are spirits? What is animism, dri tradition, spiritual gifts, and so much more.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Julian, welcome to the show.

Julian Vayne: Sam. Thank you very much for inviting me. It’s a pleasure.

Sam Believ: Julian, before we begin, tell us a little bit about yourselves for people that don’t know you what you’ve been up to and what brought you to this line of work?

Julian Vayne: Okay, so briefly i’m a 56-year-old white working class cis presenting man from the British Isles. And I have always been interested in magic for as long as I can remember. If we are being poetic about it, we might say that it was a vocation or reincarnation memory, or we might be less poetic and say that I have a neurological disorder, which meant that right from the, as young as I can remember, I was fascinated with this subject of altered states of consciousness with the edges of human experience with magic.

So I spent my childhood doing all the stuff that children do, but also learning as far as I could from books and from any pieces of information I could pick up. All kinds of things. So I started meditating. I started doing fairly haphazard form of forms of yoga, and by the time I was in, I was, I guess I was like 10, 11, I started encountering literature, which is about ceremonial magic.

I became involved in a Wiccan coven when I was 16 and then had the opportunity over the course of the next 10 years to be quite involved in the Pagan community, in the British Isles. I published a zine which was quite a kind of an extensive kind of project. We are doing a thousand copies a month at one stage.

And I have the opportunity to work with lots of different people from lots of different kind of lineages and styles of magical practice. And then about, I don’t know, 30 years ago, I guess it is now I started making or suddenly encountering people from the Americas entheogenic practitioners who were starting to find their way over to other parts of the other side of the Atlantic.

And so I had the opportunity to work with a number of different kind of practitioners from those kind of lineages in Europe. And. My kind of involvement with psychedelics continues. So I’m a co-organizer of breaking convention, which is the largest, and I like to think the most diverse psychedelic conference in the British is that’s coming up in April of this year.

I’ve worked as a research participant in EEE experiments in the British Isles. I did a couple of years ago extended state DMT which is quite interesting at Imperial College. And I get brought in to do lots of teaching on this because I come from a, I’m not a, I’m not a researcher, I’m not an academic and I’m not a clinician.

But the magical tradition what academics call the western magical tradition, which is my sort of starting point has a strong lineage with using plants in particular to alter consciousness. So that’s me. Basically. I’m an occultist who finds that the things I was interested in as a child now are suddenly things that lots of people are interested in.

And it turns out that there was a whole lineage from the Americas who were also doing other stuff, which is very similar that I got to encounter. Yeah. And a number of decades ago. Now that’s more or less it. Sam,

Sam Believ: thank you for the description. It’s interesting that for you, it seems that you were into magic first and then it brought you to work with antigens.

And for a lot of people, and myself included, the psychedelics and plant medicines were first and then later after some healing has been done, then the magical side of things have became more prominent. So as I like to say, for me personally, and he might disagree, but like ayahuasca is as close as it gets to magic and like real life.

How did how did you discover the antigens? I know, drugs, medicines, whatever you call it. And how has it affected your understanding of magic or your ability to do magic? And I wanna talk about magic.

Julian Vayne: Okay. So I guess, where we’re going is talking about, what magic is or possibly more interestingly, what magic does.

So rather than it being a thing, we might think of it more as a process. Briefly while we are there, I, my working definition of magic is that te magic is the technology of the imagination. So it’s the ability to use the imaginative space. Which can definitely be a space of delusion and confusion, but can also be a space which allows us to sometimes in quite remarkable ways, transform aspects of ourselves and our relationship with the world.

And sometimes even the, what appears to be the external world, let’s call it. So it’s the technology of the imagination. I first encountered psychedelics through reading people like Alistair Crowley, but Anta k Crowley is famous as an occultist who use drug. But in fact, most oc Cultists historically have made use of mind altering substances.

Crowley is not actually that unusual. And reading books about Crowley. People are familiar with his use of things like opiates and cocaine and so on, but he also was one of the first people to make use of peyote. So peyote comes into European culture in the la latter part of the 19th century, and Crowley is using both peyote and then an extract masculine fairly early on.

He’s run, he ran psychedelic rituals between 1907 and 1917, like regular psychedelic rituals. He’s one of the first people to have done this, so he’s very much part of my kind of lineage, if you like. So I knew about this stuff and of course I’d read things like, all this Huxley and so on.

And then, i’d, as I mentioned, I joined a WIC and coven when I was 16 and I started practicing group ceremonial magic. I’d already done a number of years of meditative and other practices before that, and then I had what we could call a youthful misadventure. So I accidentally took far too much acid because I didn’t know how big acid was.

And someone had given me some, and I thought it was two doses, but it actually turned out to be eight doses. So I just ate all these things and had a very intense and quite experience of some duration. But what was interesting in that was that I found I was able to navigate the experience because of the other magical work that I’d done previously.

So all the other kind of preparation, all the other kind of work with altering consciousness, I guess also practices like one of my kind of internal maps, if you like, is the hermetic Kabbalah, so the Hermetic Tree of Life. So the, its Origins and Judaism and then is transformed and used in the Western ACO tradition.

And it was that internal map that helped me navigate my way through this experience of taking a, a substantial dose of LSD. And I guess at that moment it was like I thought, oh, I see there’s magic, there’s, all the kind of different ways of changing awareness and all the different techniques.

But one of the critical ways, one of the ways that I became passionately interested in was this use of, again, antigens, plant medicines, drugs, all of these words. I like, actually, when I wrote Getting Higher, one of the things I deliberately did was to use lots of different words to refer to these things, because I think if we get stuck too much in, oh no, we don’t take drugs, we just have entheogens and they’re these sort of spiritual and elevated and animism and blah, blah.

That’s great. That’s also true. But I think that one thing that can happen to us is if we get too locked into one description, sometimes we miss. Aspects of reality. We’re only looking through one, one lens. So I like to use sometimes the word medicine, sometimes the word drug, sometimes the word entheogen.

And to vary those things. So I guess for me it was like I encountered magic. I had this very powerful psychedelic experience. I found that the magical techniques both allowed me to navigate it, but also that for me it was like, this is not quite a missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle. ’cause I knew it was there.

That was the reason that I’d, that I’d I’d read all this stuff from other writers and the reason I’d got the acid in the first place. But it was like, okay, this is a really strong, powerful engine for transformation. This is this is the, the a-list type way of changing consciousness.

And of course it’s by and large. Fairly reliable. You can do lots of meditation, you can do lots of ecstatic drumming or dancing or whatever. And sometimes you’ll get into these kind of profound and different states of awareness. But the thing about a substance is that it has a degree of repeatability.

And also I think that there’s something to be said for the fact that it’s a physical substance as well. It’s like an external thing. It’s like you going into a relationship with the world with this material. And I learn the deeper our relationship with that material, whether we cultivate it or we grow it, or we forage it, or, whatever.

And as we take it multiple times, we develop this relationship with this other spirit, this other experience. So yeah, I guess that’s in summary the backstory.

Sam Believ: Yeah. No it’s a great answer to the question. If you would’ve said magic to me maybe five years ago and I would say it’s either you’re talking about a magic trick or you’re crazy, right?

And I went to Alaska, for example for healing from depression. Spirituality wasn’t the part of my interest. And it gradually became, because it’s inevitable with with the work of plant medicines. And also, so by saying spirituality, I mean like spirituality and also anything esoteric or abnormal or supernatural.

And that started with me having a ceremony where medicine told me I can heal people with my hands. And I was like I’m an engineer by trade. I come from a very non-religious place. I was like, this is crazy. But then it worked. Like it, it literally worked anytime that I would do it when the medicine would tell me it actually worked.

So that kind of made me, put me on that path of learning. And regarding wording when people come to our retreat I always say, sorry to disappoint, but there are not gonna be any drugs served during this upcoming retreat. And there, and and it puts, puts it in the perspective. So I think it’s not correct to I also don’t wanna be that person that you say oh, I was as a drug and then you get offended, then we start fighting.

It’s like you miss the point, right? But at the same time, wording is also important because if you say we’re gonna be working with the medicine, and you then create this container of healing, everyone is okay, this is medicine. I’m here to heal. And it changes their experience. But if you say Ioas is a drug, I personally will not get offended.

Just so you know. I don’t know. That was just my. Comments on your previous answer? I know if you, if there’s anything you wanna say and I can go to the next question.

Julian Vayne: No I guess for me it’s about having a degree of fluidity with the language that we use and also our understandings about the world.

You said, I was an engineer, I had this kind of rational way of understanding the world, even that’s quite funny. You and I know that if we start philosophically teasing apart, what do you mean by rationality? What do you mean by the real world? Like all these concepts they’re rather like trying to grab hold of water, we have these kind of cultural fictions that exist that, only crazy people see spirits or only people who mentally deranged in one way or another have these kind of encounters or have these things happen to them. And that’s simply not true. It’s simply not the case. The, the mythology of in the sense of untruth in this instance the kind of story that we get told that, culture is this sort of rational pacing thing is far from the case. And I think that there are so many ways of demonstrating that really quite clearly. So I think that both in terms of the language that we use for things and our ways of understanding the world, I like to have a kind of quite fluid open-minded way of, someone tells me about an experience that they had.

They did, they took some medicine, they took some myos, something like this. They had this encounter. There’s no there’s very little value, at least at the, in the initial part of that process, me saying you do realize this is just something in your own mind, don’t you? Frankly, this conversation is just something that’s happening in my own mind in the sense that it’s all being modeled internally.

You know that if you look around the world, things in with depth perception. You close one eye, you still see things with depth perception, even though you’ve only got depth perception relies on binocular vision. So a lot of stuff is built in our mind, and the imagination is one of the, the elements of that.

I think that there’s, we, I think we’re at this sort of po interesting point in, in many cultural spaces where we are just starting to go, do you know what these experiences, these for want of better terms, magical experiences. We can even just use magic and say, we don’t, we can’t give you a a coherent explanation of this, but we can say that there’s this interesting phenomena.

We do know that lots and lots of people encounter these things. It’s actually not surprising. It’s take an example of, animism within culture. The idea that in some sense things have spirits, there are spirits abroad in the world and they can be encountered and they can be interacted with and so on.

Now, a culture that doesn’t believe that’s the anomaly historically, cross-culturally and actually in most people’s experiences, lots of people have encountered. The ghosts of their departed loved one. Lots of people have encountered mysterious voices advising them of something or protecting them.

Un from some kind of calamity. This is very common. It’s everyday staff actually.

Sam Believ: Yeah. That, yeah, if you look at the history, there are always, religion or some form of spirituality involved in governance and stuff like that. And what I, what, I think what I wanted to talk about is do you think that in in my experience I was not spiritual.

I was not I didn’t believe in anything abnormal. I had Ayahuasca experience and I do believe many things I didn’t believe prior. Do you reckon it’s the fastest way for, our culture that’s missing that to connect like through in the agents? People can quickly, one or.

Experience experiences, and you’re there, you’ve pretty much started to explore and you no longer have this closed mind. And so the, do you reckon there was in intelligence involved in the discovering of magic or the creation of magic and Yeah. What do you think about that?

Julian Vayne: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

The, it’s, I think it’s, I think, I don’t think the, I think human spirituality is such a complicated and rich thing that I don’t think we can say this is as the, as a result of entheogenic experiences. But I think we can certainly say entheogenic experiences play a very important role in human spirituality and certainly in the history of reli religious movements and so on.

We’ve got plenty of examples of this. And I’m sure that people who are listening to this podcast are very aware of those examples. So we don’t need to rehash the game, but I, I. Certainly if we look at the western magical tradition, I’ll give you, I’ll give you a really simple example.

The Blue Lotus that you find is growing on the Nile. So that’s a mind altering substance. It can be smoked, it can be taken, it can be eaten, it can be taken as an infusion in wine and so on. This was used by the engine Egyptian people for a variety of different purposes, both religious and also partying.

That the knowledge about the minding quality of that substance exists within the western magical tradition. I found, I was doing some research for an article in a book that’s coming out later this year. And there are examples of Western magicians talking about that particular flower as something that you can add to incense to allow spirit communication to happen.

Now that. Particular plant wasn’t looked at by, let’s use the word western science until I think the 1980s. So yeah. Are these things part of the tradition? Absolutely, they are. And many of these things are quite some of the stuff is obvious when you talk about, psychedelic fungi and talk about psychedelic plants and so on.

But if you put someone in a room and you burn lots of frankincense, that will have a mind altering effect. Frankincense is a mood lifter for most people, by and large. So yeah, these things are always there. They are important influences at the root of religion, and they are certainly part of the the magical tradition, certainly the western magical tradition, which I’m most familiar with.

Definitely part of that story.

Sam Believ: What is the western magical tradition like specifically when did it start? Where is it coming from?

Julian Vayne: Okay, we can tell a var variety of stories about this. Its origin point is probably if, if we want to part take a particular place, we would say Egypt.

We would say ancient Egypt. And there are a number of ways of thinking about this kind of story. But basically the western magical tradition includes things like alchemy. It includes things like ceremonial magic includes processes like the interaction with spirit beings which obviously as they come into the Abrahamic religious envelope become understood as sometimes they’re understood as demons.

Sometimes they’re interested as angels and so on. There are, there’s also the whole, a whole layer of folk magic that exists in pretty much every culture all of the time. Whether that is amulets and charms for protecting us against the evil eye, or whether or not it’s spells to heal people or whatever.

For the western magical tradition, you can basically draw a line that kind of starts ancient Egypt, and then it goes into several centuries later on, we have things like the the renaissance magical traditions that exist within the kind of, 14 hundreds, 15 hundreds mo emerging out of Italy with the rediscovery of classical text.

Things like the Emerald tablet of Hermes, dry scrape and so on. But this stuff that’s been in the Islamic world, but hasn’t managed to be translated and moved into the Western world. So there’s a whole kind of, there’s a whole story, but basically it has its origin point, both poetically and historically in the ancient Egyptian temples.

That’s where a lot of this stuff comes from. If I say a word like abracadabra, so abracadabra is a classic magic word. Where does that come from? Ultimately, it’s rooted in a series of magical texts called the Greek Magical Papyri, which are from. Agent Egypt or their, that have their origin point in Agent Egypt.

So that word as an example, can be traced through this lineage, which is, a couple of thousand years old, something like this.

Sam Believ: Interesting. Did you mention Hermes Tris Majesty? I did. Yeah. Yeah, I was can you tell people about it? ’cause I have I’ve watched some videos on a topic. I think it’s fascinating.

The the seven, seven principles, right?

Julian Vayne: There’s a whole variety of things that we can think about. The person that I always re recommend people go and learn from is a guy called Justin Sledge, who has an a YouTube channel called Esoterica. He’s an excellent scholar of the magical tradition, particularly the western magical tradition.

And he’s a. Funny and likable Guy does a really good presentation. So go and have a look at the Esoterica YouTube channel. Hermes Trius is Hermes thrice. Great is the Imma the alleged author of things like text called the Emerald Tablet. Emeral tablets are relatively short text, but it has it phrases in it like as above, so below which most people will have heard of.

Hermes is obviously the ancient God, mercury. He’s f or toth in the ancient Egyptian mythology. This is like a kind of a sort of semi mythic teacher. In the way that Lao Sue for the Daoists is a kind of, a semi mythical kind of teacher. And there are various texts which are ascribed to his authorship as the, homeys wrote this or whatever.

And that’s why it’s called the Hermetic tradition. It’s the tradition of the, that’s inspired by the ideas around this magical figure who of course predates Christianity. ’cause that’s one of the other interesting things about this lineage is that it locks into ancient Jewish thought but it also locks into pre-Christian.

Pagan thought as well. And that’s and that, that’s also why it’s sometimes a bit of a problem. That’s why sometimes things that to do with its practice become illegal, not because they’re doing anything nefarious, but because it provides a challenge to some extent from the point of view of like dominant religious discourse.

Yeah. So one of the things about magic, like taking ayahuascan, how do you take, you have to take the ayahuasca, you have to take this potion and you have to, to put it inside yourself. That’s, it’s about a practice. It’s about a technique. How do we use these plants to make the brew? And it’s about a practice.

And the practice is also, although it might be within a container of a religious movement or a particular retreat setting or whatever, it’s also deeply personal. There’s a tension I think, between sometimes religious beliefs, where I wanna say to you Sam, you don’t have to do any of your own self-inquiry.

Here is a book and here is my interpretation of this book, and this is all you need to run your life, right? This is what you basically need. Whereas what magical processes tend to do is they’re very much about how can I make sense of the world for myself? How can I do this experiment in order to in order to explore spirituality for myself?

And there’s no more obvious away of doing that self-experiment than to take a powerful, mind altering substance.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I like this way of looking at things. My, something I like to say is the biggest difference between a cult and an ayahuasca retreat is that like a religious cult. And the retreat is that.

A cult, they tell you what to believe in. Somebody else comes and tells you, this is what we believe in, and you believe this or otherwise you don’t belong. And with ayahuasca, the flow of information comes from the medicine or the spirit into to people and then from them to the retreat. So it’s the reverse reversal of this flow.

It’s, it people are listening and they’re probably thinking like what are we talking about magic? What does it really mean? I know you said it’s it’s an imaginary technology, but let’s say somebody is interested in ayahuasca not for healing, but for to learn magic.

You know what does that mean? Does that, what does that entail for them practically, if somebody is drinking ihu was to become a magician and to be able to, I don’t know, what changed their future or what does that. What does magic mean? Practically together with the strong anti agents,

Julian Vayne: I guess any good practice, whether we call it magic or not, one of its potential outcomes or one of the things, one of the processes that it invites us to do is to be fully human, is to be fully the beings that we can be allowing for the conditions in which we find ourselves and the limitations and the opportunities that we might find ourselves within.

So it’s about this kind of it might be the cultivation of special powers. There you are taking ayahuasca and learning that rather strangely sometimes when you. Lay your hands on people or you go through some kind of process. You can assist them with their healing because of course, always the person does the healing.

We can by and large, only really assist with these things or create conditions that, that optimize it, perhaps. But I think the most important part of it is not necessarily the acquisition of cities, the acquisition of special powers. It’s this process of engaging with the mystery of what it means to be a human and how we might get good relationships with the spirits that we encounter.

And by that other people as well as the plants, the animals, and the spirits that don’t appear to have bodies in the way that you and I have. So a magic can look like all kinds of different things. It would be hard for me to say how would it look for a particular individual? It might look like an alchemical transformation.

It might look like the fact that you have and I’m sure you have seen this in the retreat settings where somebody comes in and they have, some terrible thing that’s happened to them some trauma to use a rather overused word these days. That can’t be undone. That’s part of their history.

And what the iwas can sometimes do is help that person turn that lead into gold so they can help that person not just get over their trauma or process their trauma or their trauma is no longer a problem, but actually do something that’s beyond that, which is really powerful and important from the human condition from the perspective of the broader human condition, which is that bad stuff’s always gonna happen, but can we transform that bad thing into something good that can help us and maybe can help the community around us?

So it, sometimes these things look, very psychological. That’s the, because we tend to believe in psychology. We tend to believe in the existence of consciousness and unconscious minds and egos and IDs and desires and complexes and all these sorts of things. That language is a very good language to talk about magic.

It doesn’t quite get far, go far enough because it may well be that person who you are able to do some sort of healing process on that maybe they don’t even know that you are doing this. And yet the process still happens. Obviously when we talk about healing, we have to talk about things like the placebo effect.

So the placebo effect is an effect where imagination plays an, a critical role in transformation sometimes of things that look very, for want of better words, physical in people’s bodies, and we know that we can optimize things like those effects. We can certainly optimize. Let’s just call it for the moment, the placebo effect.

If we use mind altering substances, if I take the shaa and I put, and I use that with the person who’s and particularly if they’ve taken the medicine, maybe I’ve taken the medicine as well, they can be an interaction, which is very powerful. We’re in a very plastic space.

Yeah. Everything is very malleable, very changeable. And so there can be sometimes things that look really physical that can be changed under these conditions that might not be amenable to, other medical practices. So being a magician, I think is about recognizing the power of your imagination.

The fact that you can feed and nourish your imagination in a variety of ways. So if you go and look at entertainment, there you go. You turn on your Netflix channel and have a look at what that looks like, what. Stuff is going into your nervous system. What are you using to relax and unwind with your beloved on the sofa in the evening?

Are you watching people running around, shooting each other, for example? So you might just think of it in terms of psychic cleanliness. Is that what I need to do? When I work with people with psychedelics, obviously one of the things I say to them is, for the week or two before you come for the session, disconnect a little bit from social media.

Don’t worry about the news. If you are in the habit of watching war films or horror movies, don’t bother doing that. Because we’re trying to prepare the right conditions to optimize the experience of the medicine. So if you realize that the imagination is a space, yeah, so it’s a and that thoughts are things to quote the magician Dion fortune.

Then it brings a different attitude to the way the world is. Also the idea of magic. Presumes that the world is much more flexible and surprising than we might consider it to be. So somebody who’s an engineer and a magician would just go, oh, turns out I can do this practice of laying on hands and healing people.

Because as you make your move into that understanding about the world you are prepared to acknowledge the possibility of this. None of these things are beyond criticism or beyond reflection. And it’s not that, again, we can’t be deluded. Plenty of people come out of ayahuasca with all kinds of inflated experiences about, what they should do or what they should be.

I, I hope one day for the day that people come out of their their journey with Ayahuasca or any other medicine and declare that they want to be a heating engineer or a plumber or something genuinely useful rather than just another person who serves the medicine, which all of us do because we get to that excited, oh my God, this was amazing.

I want to share this with my mother, with my father, with my grandmother, with my children, with, it’s understandable, but I think that allowing for the fact that we can be inflated, allowing for the fact that we can misunderstand things, nevertheless, recognizing that there is a potency in the imagination and the power in it is really important.

Sam Believ: There’s many topics you touched upon that I wanna. Also comment on, but about the inflated ego and sort of things. I’m, the example I like to use is spirit animals. It’s always jaguars or eagles and it’s it’s never I don’t know, like a mole or or a worm, something that, it’s, the spirits are always glorious, but not always, interestingly enough, like there was one time we had a guy and he said that he realized his spirit animals is lost, and he looked and acted and he was just like, it was it was the one that I said you know what?

This is accurate. This is actually not inflated. And when we talk about placebo, it’s definitely if placebo is this imaginary thing that you imagine that you’re healing and you’re actually healing, then well, it is magic, right? You just, in your head you healed yourself because everything else was not real.

So that’s a good example of that. And yeah. Regarding spiritual powers that you mentioned, or spiritual gifts, what I noticed is that there seems to be a pattern of people, not everyone, but occasionally people discovering their sort of spiritual gift and or special power as you say. And there, there seem to be different people with different gifts.

And I would wanna know your opinion on that. Whether one person can have several gifts or somebody can have none, or one person can have many gifts, or we’re open to everything. It’s just a matter of expression, but it’s either healing or talking to, dead spirits or seeing future or seeing the past or getting messages for other people.

What you would expect at towns ancient tribes, shaman, to do like one of these things. But rarely all at the same time. So what do you think about the word vomit that I just put out?

Julian Vayne: Yeah, I, yeah, no it’s an interesting question. I guess it’s like. In a way, I often think when we talk about sort of spiritual matters, we can take it if we reimagine what we’re talking about in terms of other things.

Are there lots of are there some people who speak more than one language? Yes, of course. There are plenty of people that speak more than one language. Are there some people who seem to be particularly gifted at languages and seem to be able to very quickly pick them up and learn them successfully?

Yes, there are. So maybe it’s the same like that. Maybe there are some people who, for whatever reason maybe family history, maybe who knows reincarnation, memory, genetic codes could be anything, but they’re particularly good at a part, a special one, one skill. There may be. Obviously there are plenty of other people, you yourself are a parent.

When you’re a parent, you start to realize that you actually have to have lots of skills in lots of different things. So you have to, and just as a person, you need to be able to do a variety of different sort of practices. And but there, there will be people, obviously who are like specialists in a given field.

But I like the idea of, one of the, the way that we sometimes use the word medicine, the way that my experience of hanging out with people from North America, particularly the sort of First Nations people, the way that they sometimes use the word suggests that everyone has at least one good medicine.

Everyone has at least one interesting thing they can bring to the party if they can unlock whatever that is. And sometimes that thing can be quite a difficult thing. Maybe they’re the person who always asks the awkward question. That’s also a special power, right? If you are running an organization, you’re running a retreat or whatever, the person who said who’s asking the awkward question, they can be incredibly valuable.

Very important. Some of the time you might go, oh my God, no, it’s not, it’s, it’s Dave again who’s asking this thing about, he’s always got a downer on. But actually it might be that is the medicine that this person’s bringing to the story. So I guess it’s the same as any other kind of ability that humans have.

Sometimes we have specialists who are very good at a particular area. We have lots of people who are generalists, who have one or more skills to some degree. And when we find ourselves in different parts of our lives, we have to step up and find, like what you’ve had. You’ve got children, right?

So one of the things you learn as a parent is, which you didn’t know before, perhaps, particularly if you’ve not been around children, is you learn to listen for the different sounds of how a baby sounds. What does it need? You have to be able to interpret. And get a sense of in your body very often, oh, the baby is hungry.

The bod the baby needs changing, the baby needs this, the baby you. And you develop that as a sense. Yeah. If you are parenting of course, sometimes you get it wrong. Same when you’re sitting with people, as you’re sitting with people and you are, you’re trying to develop that sense about what does this, how does this person, how can I support them?

Do I need to take a step back? Same with the children, sometimes you have to take a step back from the, from those people, let them fall over. Let them, don’t let ’em kill themselves, but do let them oh you took the lid off that. Now you are covered in, the pain, aren’t you?

Okay. So we’ve learned something there. So I think that there’s a, again, there’s a kind of flexibility in the way that we do this. I think everyone’s got something interesting to bring to the party, that’s for sure.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I agree with that. So you mentioned spirits several times through the conversation and also animism.

What are. Spirits.

Julian Vayne: Ah, yeah, that’s an interesting question. Isn’t that? It’s an interesting question. I think any sufficiently complex set of information that can arise in my perception as an apparently external other, which with whom I can either dialogue or that can tell me something that I didn’t know is a spirit.

So what I mean by that is that the spirits are everywhere all the time. But our perception allows certain clusters of information to add up to a thing that I can interact with. So there’s kind of Sam at the moment who, despite the fact that you are actually a square on my computer screen, I we’re interacting, I’m assuming that you are a, you’re, you’re not like an AI bot and you are not just like a delusion in my mind.

You are like another external, we can have this conversation now I can bring an animist view of the world into my everyday experience, which means that I can interact with any number of things in terms of their spirit. So I went out walking today and here in the British Isles, it’s the early part of the spring.

So I went walking to see a particular tree that I like to go and talk to. And of course it’s a tree so it doesn’t talk like a human talks. It talks like a tree talks. And I have a sense of the. The personhood, if you like, of the tree. I also then spent the rest of the walk, because things are starting to come out and grow.

There are several plants not psychoactive plants, but nevertheless power plants that I would, that I was able to eat today. There was some Turkey tail mushroom, there was some GOs, there was some wild garlic. There was some I think called naval wat. And when I eat these plants, I don’t just grab them and eat them.

I’ll just take a moment just out of politeness, out of sense of beingness of the plant and say, is it gonna be a, do you happy for me to eat a bit of this? Or whatever, if I got a strong feeling, the answer was no, I would listen to that as well, because isn’t, talking to things is one thing.

Listening to things is something else, so I think the spirits are always there all the time. But spirits can build their bodies in order to communicate to us often things that sometimes we already know these things, but we need someone else to tell us. Like how it is with your friends.

Sometimes you know a thing and then your friend says it and you go, yeah, you are right. Yeah. I understand what you’re saying. Yeah. I get it. I get it. But I needed something outside of me to tell that story to me, so I could hear it. And so any complex system, you go into a library, this is an example that I like to use.

If you go into a library consists of all the books and all the authors and all the story, and all the editors and all the librarians and so on. The library has a spirit. The library is a very complicated thing. And certainly if I sit down in the library and I’m quiet in the library and I quiet my mind, I might be able to find the personhood.

Of the spirit, I’m of the library, the personhood of that place. I might find that it’s able to talk to me. Maybe it would talk to me through me randomly selecting a book and randomly selecting a page and reading something. Maybe that’s how a library would talk to me, because a library has made a printed text.

If I take ayahuasca and I find myself in that state, the ayahuasca can build its body. The ayahuasca spirit or the spirits that I’m encountering build their body. Often it seems to me, from stuff like junk, I’ve got lying around in my head, so I remember the first time I encountered the spirit of the queen of the forest, and without going into all the details, I could see that there was this real being that wanted to communicate with me.

And it was almost like it went through my brain going okay, so there’s a kind of body that it will recognize. There’s a sort of shape, there’s a style of voice and so on, so I think that animism is an attitude to the world that allows, again, like magic allows for the imaginative possibility that all things, computers, cars, satellites, stars, rivers, oceans, they all can be seen as people, as beings.

And that by entering that way of understanding the world, we can learn new things.

Sam Believ: What is what does shamanism have to do with with spirits? The what is it in that case, like shamans interact with spirits. If, because your version of spirit is kinda almost like something out there in collective unconscious sort of.

Created by other minds. It’s a, it’s not a question, it’s just a hint for you to go in that direction.

Julian Vayne: Yeah. It’s interesting music. ’cause again, when we talk about shamanism, we can talk about this is a very contested word, applies to a particular group of people from the sort of northeastern part of Asia north Asia.

But it’s a word that gets moved by ethnographers into, places like South America, right? So we use this word even though there are, there’s plenty of kind of indigenous words and also words that come through from the Spanish and Portuguese and so on. But essentially what we’re talking about is we’re talking about somebody who’s going back to your thing about special skill, somebody who is particularly, able to connect with these spirit beings. And, we, there’s many ways of understanding what they might be, but let’s just accept that these are encounters that people have. And depending on where that person finds themselves, they may be treated as somebody with a mental disorder or they may be treated as somebody with a special power.

And they sometimes get treated as both, depending on what their story is. So I think that there’s definitely a sort of relationship with it. And I guess one of the other things about shamanism, particularly if we look at, say the sort of tous origin of the word and the practice is that shamanism is about altering states of awareness.

And the most common way of altering states of awareness is with the drum. Things like, percussion, basically as a as, which is incredibly useful. Percussion is the first thing that we encounter in our world. When we’re still inside our mother, we hear the sound of her heartbeat and our heartbeat, that’s the shaman’s drum that starts before we’re even born, so by playing around with percussion we can engender of consciousness. So that kind of idea of altered consciousness, where Arda writes about shamanism as the technology of ecstasy. When anthropologists then look at South America and they go and hang out with, folks from various indigenous communities and they see stuff that looks similar.

We, they just transpose that word from one state to another and it’s become a generally useful word to talk about a practitioner who has. Maybe a variety of ways of changing awareness and they change awareness so they can drop into this perception of the world as a, a place inhabited by spirits that perhaps other people find it more difficult to encounter well until they take something like Aya Oscar or psilocybin or something like this, perhaps.

Sam Believ: What do you know about the lost shamanic traditions of Europe, British Isles or even beyond?

Julian Vayne: Man, it’s really hard. I have a suspicion that in terms of Europe, what, where we should be. Obviously we can look at things like Scandinavia. We have, there’s, there there’s information and stuff from people like the Samami people.

There’s probably some interesting stuff that I don’t know about, but I suspect exists in Eastern Europe. And throw over into sort of, Asia into Russia and Asia and so on. We have very little. For example, people often ask me because I’m from the British, is they’ll ask about Druids.

Yeah. They’ll ask about Druidry. What do we know about the Druids? We know very little about the D dreads we have, there’s a couple of texts from the Romans that talk about what they did. We dunno if any of it’s true. We know that for example in TAUs, Jamar and I, he talks there there’s that whole thing about, harvesting missile toe dressing in white.

There’s a what might be some kind of trance process that involves wrapping a person in the hide of a bull so they’re tightly wrapped and then placing a stone on them and maybe suggestion that percussion is used to put them into this altered state of awareness. But we have very little information at all about those traditions.

Having said that, the, there’s a, there’s, there’s a rich kind of folk tradition about things like all kinds of ways of interacting with the world that are very animus, that are very kind of shamanic, that are very yeah, closer to the things that, that, we can see more clearly in places that have either got written traditions like India or traditions that lots of anthropologists have been looking at say South America.

So there are little hints and similarities. We know, for example, that sweat Lodge Temescal is a practice which was done in ancient Europe. We’ve got archeological evidence of something like that. We know that a little bit further east, that things like cannabis were being, was being thrown on the hot stones.

There’s little pieces. But this is, going back to that thing about the animal spirits where people I remember sometimes being asked by people say, what, what’s your special magic animal? What’s your kind of, and I have to say that one of mine is the magpie.

Yeah. So this bird that has to find little bits of shiny gold in amongst all of the mud and the leaves on the forest floor. And that’s where I am in my story, ’cause I don’t come from a family that has any particular lineage in this this subject.

I’m born into a world where I’m fascinated by magic, and it seems that it’s hidden away. So I’ve had to pull out those little pieces, which is why it was incredibly helpful 30 odd years ago, encountering people from, particularly from South America, who had a whole bunch of stuff that was like, oh, I see.

So what we’ve got here is we’ve got these little tiny morsels, these tiny little points of brightness about how these places may have been used. So I’ll give you an example. In the British Isles we have chambered tombs. They’re often called neolithic or prehistoric buildings, which are lots of stones with a tunnel inside.

You can go down to these places. Now, these are probably tubes. They’re people where ancestors bones were laid down. But they also are places where we now know from archeological work that they have really interesting sounds, sonic architecture. So they’re designed as places that you go into and you sing.

And new tone and that and we can be pretty certain that because of the architecture, because of the way that the, what’s called acoustic archeology has been exploring these, we’re pretty certain that this is not just, a coincidence. This is deliberately done. So we have these chamber tombs all over the countryside, in particular locations and obviously, famous landmarks.

People know about Stonehenge or the Avery Stone Circle and so on. So these are the, the Malacca, these are the kind of the the sacred places. But exactly what was done in them is lost to history. Probably the best thing to do is to take some mushrooms and go in there and see if you can reconnect with the ancestors, which is, I think I’ve done on a couple of occasions.

Sam Believ: Yeah, that’s a good good idea. I know mushrooms will probably help. It’s interesting you mentioned sweat lodge and so I’m originally from Lavia and I. I’ve been living in Columbia for eight years now, but one of my very first alternate consciousness experience was a laan, pagan sauna ritual saunas.

The name sauna was popularized from Finland, but that entire part of north northeastern Europe they were always using saunas or various shapes. They have different names, but, and the ritual involved alternating he heat and cold, so like contrast therapy, but an intense kind of contrast therapy very high heat for a long time.

And then they would use different plans for different genders and male plans, female plans, and. You would have to drink herbal teas, but there is nothing psychoactive in it except for the heat itself. And then you get put in the ice water and they hold you. So you’re floating and after a lot of heat for a long time, it makes your, gives you like, an autobody experience.

It’s a very interesting thing. I would love to do it again, but definitely it probably has roots somewhere in the past because, it’s in like a forest and the plants, it’s still like it was before. And interestingly enough, Laia was the last Pagan part of Europe the last one to be baptized to Christianity.

So essentially how do you, what do you think is the mechanism is of somebody tripping on heat and cold?

Julian Vayne: Human beings are relatively simple creatures in many respects. If you want to, if you want to alter consciousness, what have you got? You’ve got protracted periods of darkness ritual, poetry, inspi, inspirational ritual, poetry.

You’ve got temperature, that’s the thing that you can play with. Movement is a thing you can play with. Restriction is a thing you can play with, obviously altering that person chemically. So I think that, if you ever tried something like a flotation tank for example, which you can try completely without taking any drugs of any description, that will give you a powerful experience.

Going off and doing vision quest without any substance being on your own, being in this kind of, in, in silence for a time. All of these things are really. Powerful ways of making these kind of changes of awareness. And I think that the other thing that’s interesting is that there’s a lot of there’s a lot of subtlety to it.

So for example, in, in Europe when we talk about things like beer is a substance now that has a relatively simple chemical makeup, but in age times we know that lots and lots of other interesting herbs were added to beer. Beer is one of the most ancient of our, my daughter in substances or alcohol generally.

And we know that in Britain, in Scandinavia that lots of the ale that was brewed probably had all kinds of interesting things added into it. Now, what you’ve also got to put into the mix is the fact that you and I, although we might cultivate our sensitivity through using entheogen and other practices we’re also we’re fairly hard nuts to crack in the sense that I can turn on my computer and I can see all kinds of things and I can get access to music immediately.

It’s no problem. Whereas a hundred, 200 years ago, those things are completely impossible. My world doesn’t consist of this kind of stuff. And so those experiences of drinking, the herbal tea, of having the heat in the cold, of having maybe songs or other practices that are happening become even stronger, even more powerful.

Whereas now we’re oh yeah, it’s just more music. Like music itself is such a powerful thing, as a way of moving us and as a way of transforming and changing our awareness. It, irrespective of whether or not we’ve taken sacred mushrooms or we’ve taken, our Oscar or any of these kinds of things.

We, we can just have, we’ve got it on tap, 24 7, no problem. It’s also probably more powerful a hundred, 200, 300, 500 years ago, way before there’s any recorded music and when music has a different kind of position within culture. Yeah, so I think that changing people’s state of awareness is actually relatively straightforward.

The levers to do it are pretty pretty easy to identify. That if you can make that person sensitive if you do that solar ritual that you’re speaking about and you prepare by having three days in the wilderness with no access to your phone, I would pretty much guarantee that the sauna rich will be more powerful than if you’ve just driven from the city and just rocked up there.

You know this with the retreats that you wrote. Like it’s all about creating this really good wave of the experience, which both makes it easier to get into and also stronger.

Sam Believ: Yeah, the mindset is is very important and the preparation as well. Julian, it’s a very fascinating conversation, but we are running out of time unfortunately we haven’t touched much about topic of of what you talk about new book.

I know you’re writing another book now. So just talk to our audience about where they can find your books. Which books would you recommend them specifically knowing that those are people that are interested in ayahuasca and the ceremonies?

Julian Vayne: Okay my website is really easy. It’s just julian vain.com.

And you’ll see most of the resources on there. There’s a whole bunch of stuff that I’ve written in the past, some of which is, traditional plant medicines, but I’ve also written quite a lot about, novel molecules, different stuff that’s been made in Alchemist Laboratories over the course of the last kind of 50 years, something like this.

So just go and have a look at the social media. Go and have a look at the website and you’ll see all the things on there. If people are around and about in the bridge, Charles, they wanna come over, I recommend going to break in convention, which as I mentioned previously, is a really excellent conference on psychedelic consciousness.

And you’ll find it is a YouTube channel as well, which has lots of the lectures and presentations that break in convention have done for the last decade. We’ve been doing this conference for quite, quite a number of years now yeah, easy to find me and plenty of stuff out there to explore.

Sam Believ: Yeah, guys, go check Julian on the social media and go to the conference. If you’re in uk, definitely you should go. I would love to go myself. I’m really far away. And check out his books. Julian, thank you for this conversation. I think it was very interesting, a little different, and entertaining and educational.

Julian Vayne: Educational. Thank you very much, Sam, for inviting me and yeah, really appreciate it. Thanks everyone for listening.

Sam Believ: Thank you for listening, guys, once again, I was with you, the host Samie, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like, wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information.

Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Bill Richards.

Bill Richards, PhD, is a pioneering clinical psychologist and researcher in the field of psychedelic-assisted therapy. Known for his work with psilocybin and LSD since the 1960s, he contributed to groundbreaking studies at Johns Hopkins University and authored the influential book Sacred Knowledge: Psychedelics and Religious Experiences.

We touch upon topics of:

  • How Bill began psychedelic research in Germany in the 1960s (01:18–03:39)
  • The psychedelic research scene in the U.S. from the 60s to 70s and its shutdown (04:31–07:52)
  • The revival of psychedelic research at Johns Hopkins (08:13–08:32)
  • The potential of psychedelics to evolve human consciousness (09:30–11:25)
  • The role of mystical experiences in healing and behavioral change (13:02–16:43)
  • Spiritual language and intuitive knowledge (17:37–20:56)
  • Psychedelics and reducing fear of death (22:26–27:18)
  • Personal beliefs on life after death and consciousness (27:54–30:56)
  • Future of psychedelics in medicine, religion, and education (34:31–36:28)
  • Educational value of mystical experiences (39:42–44:41)
  • Psychedelics as catalysts and keys, not the source of the experience (46:21–48:36)
  • Best non-psychedelic practices for accessing transcendence (50:21–54:44)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Bill Richards by reading his book Sacred Knowledge, available in 10 languages including Conocimiento Sagrado in Spanish.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Bill Richards: Psychedelics have been around for at least 9,000 years, and right now they’re emerging in our western world, both North and South America and Europe. I think we know from our own experiences and our research results. That if these substance are used wisely and competently, they have incredible benefit to give mankind, if you will.

You could see it as an evolution of human consciousness, a waking up spiritually and a new attunement to what unites us as a as humanity. The values of love and truth and wisdom that we encounter in many of the alternative states of consciousness.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we do the whole stand, believe. Today I’m having a conversation with Bill Richards. Bill Richards PhD is a clinical psychologist and researcher known for his pioneering work in psychedelic assisted therapy. He has been a key figure in studying the therapeutic potential of substances like psilocybin and LSD for treating conditions such as depression, anxiety, and end of life distress.

He played a crucial role in psilocybin research at John Hopkins University. He contributed to the studies on the effects of psychedelics of terminally ill un terminally ill patients. He’s the author of Sacred Knowledge, psychedelics and Religious Experiences, and he’s one of the original people. So he started doing his psychedelic research in sixties, so it’s truly one of the pioneers.

In this episode, we talk about the famous mystical experiences through psychedelics, study co-authored by Bill. Psychedelic research in sixties and seventies. Psychedelics were terminally ill. Role of psychedelics in education. What happens after death, how psychedelics can change the world. First psychedelic renaissance versus the second one and so much more.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Ra, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Bill, pleasure to have you on the show. Oh,

Bill Richards: thanks Sam. It’s an honor to be here. I admire all that you’ve been doing.

Sam Believ: Thank you, bill. It’s been a long time ago. I can imagine. Sixties, it was long before I was even born. So tell us, back then, when you were still young, what brought you to work with psychedelics?

Bill Richards: I’ll try to give you the condensed version. Let’s see. I was once 23 years old and I was studying at the Yale Divinity School at that time.

And I went to the University of Geren in Germany. For the second of the three years of the program. And though I went there officially to study theology, I discovered the use of psychedelics in the school of medicine and bumped into it quite innocently and accidentally really. They were studying some new drug in the.

Clinic around the corner from my dormitory, and I was supposed to evoke memories from early childhood. And two of my new friends had participated in that research one regressed to early childhood and experienced himself in his father’s lap. And his father had been killed in World War ii.

That was incredibly me for him, meaningful for him. And the other head reported seeing what he called hallucinations of s stel, a men marching in the streets and so on. And I thought, gee, I’ve never seen a real hallucination. That sounds interesting. But at that time I hadn’t even heard the word psychedelic.

I had no idea what psilocybin might be. And I volunteered they led me to a little basement room gave me an injection of what I later learned was psilocybin, a short acting form, CZ 74 it was called. And, in some sense, my life has never been the same. I, this very profound transcendental form of awareness opened up and I have been in awe and been integrating it ever since.

And now it’s about 60 years since then. Yeah.

Sam Believ: That’s a great story. So it sounds like with many psychedelics found you and yanked you out of whatever lifestyle you’re going to have and put you on this path. Similar happened to me and many of our guests you’re different from most of my guests because.

For you. It’s not the first psychedelic renaissance. You lived the original one in the sixties. Could you tell us about, how was it back then and versus how it is now? Yeah, regarding the reemergence of the research and the interests.

Bill Richards: Gladly from 19 67 to 1977.

I pursued psychedelic research at the Maryland Psychiatric Research Center, spring Grove Hospital here in Baltimore. Working with L-S-D-D-P-T, a little bit of psilocybin MDA different substances. With cancer patients confronting their deaths with treatment of addictions, with alcoholism, especially in narcotic addiction with just people inpatient struggling with severe depression and personality disorders, and with the training of healthy, normal people both in religion and in.

Psychotherapy and it was an exciting frontier. It still is, of course, but there was the feeling back then that we were out in the crest of a new wave of transforming mental health care. And it was so promising that the state of Maryland built this beautiful four story research center, with biochemical labs and animal research and psychedelic treatment suites and sensory isolation chambers auditorium, library, everything you could wish for.

That was in 1999. And in in 2000, our president of the United States allegedly said that Timothy Leary was the most dangerous man in America. And there was an editorial in the local newspaper asking why we were giving, using state payers taxpayers money to give people LSD. And there were these soap operas.

Oh, my child took LSD. You’ll never be the same. His chromosomes must be damaged and so on. Just very irrational. Crazy. Unscientific attitudes. But they were enough to essentially stop the research. And our research was the last place in the United States where psychedelics were still being studied.

So I have this dubious distinction of being the last to leave the sinking ship in 1977. Footnote here. And my 3-year-old son helped me empty out my office, who is now a very competent leading psychedelic researcher 50 years old now. I don’t know how that ever happened.

Sam Believ: That’s really exciting.

So you’re a lineage of psychedelic researchers. There’s a lineage of shamans and you have a lineage of psychedelic researchers.

Bill Richards: There is. In 1999, it came alive again at Johns Hopkins with, when Roland Griffiths and I were able to collaborate, and it’s thriving there. Right now, there’s a staff of over 80 people.

Sam Believ: This is very exciting. And as I was telling you before we started recording that the work we do now, for example, with retreats and is only possible because it was popularized in its, second, or let’s say some people say third wave of psychedelic renaissance. So I appreciate the work you did and the sacrifice, and I’m sorry that, they took away, 40 to 50 productive years of your research for no reason.

I think it’s I think it’s a crime against humanity this whole, prohibition thing. Obviously you’re as excited about psychedelics as I am, probably much more. And I think you believe that it has this potential to, to change the world, and change the humanity. So what have you found through your long life and the research to make you believe that?

Bill Richards: In a footnote here, that. Psychedelics have been around for at least 9,000 years and they’ve emerged and been repressed over and over in different societies. And right now they’re emerging in our western world, both north and South America and Europe, I think and Australia certainly.

And Canada. It’s a very hopeful time, and we know from our own experiences and our research results that if these substance are used wisely and competently they have incredible benefit to give. Mankind, if you will, without being grandiose here. You could see it as an evolution of human consciousness, a waking up spiritually and a new attunement to what unites us as a as humanity.

The values of. Love and truth and wisdom that we encounter in many of the alternative states of consciousness facilitated with psychedelics are there are more than just great surges of wonderful emotion. There is really intuitive knowledge to be found there that can be beneficial for mankind as a whole.

So my hope is we can stay grounded. We can talk languages that don’t frighten those who are wary of it, who don’t understand why we think it’s so important. I always like to stress that the psychedelics. As I see them are incredibly valuable tools in discovering other dimensions of human consciousness.

They’re not the only ones. Those states of consciousness open up and meditative to techniques and natural childbirth and sensory isolation and overflow overload, et cetera, et cetera. But the psychedelics. Provide a potency, a validity, a reliability a and I would say a safety when they’re used intelligently for most people.

And, let’s learn to use them wisely. And I admire what you are doing in Columbia in responsibly structured retreats for people who want to legally explore their own minds. Why not?

Sam Believ: Thank you for that. Thank you for. For your compliments, they mean a lot. One of the things that, that you talk about is not just psychedelics for healing potential, but also you conducted a study about mystical experience.

It’s a very famous study. You hear it quoted a lot in different podcasts in different places. One of the sort of reemerging ones were basically, it’s all, you can almost say this current psychedelic renaissance almost started from that study about mystical experiences. So can you tell us about that study and what you found?

And just for people that don’t know, which I think are very few.

Bill Richards: Yeah. There have been several studies AD Hopkins. Back in the days of Spring Grove and all kinds of different sites, really California and New York and Australia now, and Canada. But all these studies indicate that the wise use of psychedelics certainly give us access to different strata of experiencing.

Mild sensory changes getting into psychodynamic issues of traumas in childhood symbolic, archetypal, visionary realms, and then the unit of mystical state. It’s very hard to put into language ’cause in a sense you weren’t even there anymore, and yet you discover the memory of it in your mind. And one thing we’ve observed and we’ve documented with psychological instruments is that when the transcendental, the deep mystical experiences occur in the lives of people, there are often dramatically positive behavior changes. Lessening of depression and anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and the like.

So the mystical experience, which I’d be happy to outline, I think, the ma basic characteristics of it. But when that state of consciousness happens. It provides what William James in his varieties of religious experience called fruits for the fruits for life. Okay. It’s more than just a feeling great, it’s really entails new knowledge, not only about yourself, but about the nature of other people and of the universe.

You become a more centered. Mature, perhaps compassionate human being. And those insights, as I know you, stress, do have to be integrated and applied, which is a task of spiritual and psychological development for a lifetime perhaps. But it certainly gives many people a major awakening and forward thrust in development?

Yeah.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s it’s hard to underestimate the importance of mystical experiences. I personally came to work with Ayahuasca myself which is my psychedelic of choice based on the location through looking to heal my depression. And later on I. I inevitably was interested in the more mystical side of things and a more spiritual aspect of it.

And obviously now I consider myself a spiritual person. Like what are your thoughts on spiritual side of healing with psychedelics and sort should we go towards it or, should, what? What?

Bill Richards: I think it’s a la it’s a matter of language often. Some people are spooked by the word spiritual, and they’d rather use other languages.

And that’s okay. If you don’t like the word God, you can use the ground of being or. The purpose of properties of protoplasm, whatever you like. But there is something that people discover in these alternative states that’s very. And it happens in good ag, atheist and agnostics. Sometimes I think more easily than in people with very detailed orthodox and religious heritages.

But it’s there. And it makes sense of te deShar who says, come on, wake up folks. We really are spiritual beings having physical or human experiences right now. This isn’t just a matter of adherence to a creed of some kind. It’s an awakening. To the nature, the essence of really being a human being and these spiritual states, or whatever you wanna call them, are simply part of the way we discover ourselves in the world.

To use Martin Heider’s language, we. Whether we like it or not, we do have spiritual roots, spiritual access. And what does that mean? It means access to intuitive knowledge to an energy that we call love to awareness of our interconnectedness with one another within discreet unity.

What the Hindus called the bele net of Indra. And with the psychedelics, these things change from this interesting ideas to experienced realities that you participate in, and that’s experiential learning and it’s incredibly convincing and incredibly powerful and, when the rational mind wakes up and reflects on it and tries to figure out what to do with that knowledge it can go through a lot of different ideas and processes, but it’s not ultimately a rational choice.

I don’t think it’s an intuitive choice to trust those insights. It’s very much like, how do I know that I love my wife or my kids? How do I know that I wanna fight for more justice in the world? It there’s something that’s intuitive there as well as rational in an intellectual framework.

Sam Believ: Yeah, that’s a beautiful way to explain it. I can’t help but notice that, based on my calculation, you said you were 23 and then 60 years of fast. So you should be around 83, 84. Now I’m about to turn 85. 85 exactly when, but I, when is your birthday? That’s not slowing me down. Yeah but obviously 85 is quite.

Quite a big number and but you sound very eloquent, more than many young people that I’ve met, and so I’m amazed by that. Do you contribute any of any of your mental abilities in such a late age to work with psychedelics? Do you believe in their potential to.

Help with neurodegenerative diseases, for example,

Bill Richards: who know, I never applied that to myself. I have colleagues who are giving psychedelics to older adults, seeing if it can stimulate the growth of new neurons or activate neurons that have been dormant or who knows how we understand that.

But for help. To help people avoid ality and live more fully not only more quantity of life, but more quality of life. That’s a frontier of science and I I wish it well. I’ve done a lot of work with cancer patients. Beginning way back in 1967 and being with people who are in close proximity of death, I’ve discovered that when they have these mystical types of experience, or even when they do significant psychodynamic work they live more fully.

And those who have mystical experiences or since the ego can’t have a mystical experience sometimes I think we should say when you’re had by a mystical experience, if comes to you. There word, theological word is grace, but you, when it happens and you discover it’s in your memory. People often claim loss of a fear of death, which is pretty incredible ’cause we have a very death fearing culture. In our, in the United States, we often put corpses in expensive walnut. Caskets and shine red lights on their faces to make them look lifelike. We we’re coming to terms with sex better than we used to, but we’re still pretty phobic about death.

And so when people claim to have lost a fear of death we listen. And what’s so interesting to me in the. So hundreds of terminally ill people. Not to mention, those of us who aren’t terminally ill, who might well be mortal too they don’t get suicidal. They’ve lost their fear of death. But what happens, what we observe is that the present moment opens up and they live more fully.

Here and now. And I just was with a group yesterday a follow-up group of cancer patients from the Aqua Cancer Center in Rockville, where we give psilocybin to terminally ill people and. They’re engaged in life. They’re supporting one another. They’re off or returning from international travel.

They’re not lying in their beds with the drapes closed, feeling sorry for themselves, waiting for the next dose of pain medication, and, sometimes I wonder if besides increased quality of life, they’re really having increased quantity of life. That’s a research question that we can explore in time.

But it makes sense that when people are engaged in life and have meaningful interpersonal relationships, that their immune systems would work more effectively. And they they’re curious about death. Like it’ll be an interesting experience when I get there, but they’re not afraid of it, and in a sense they’re modeling for their families and friends how to live fully in the face of approaching death. That’s relevant of course, to every human being, not just to cancer patients.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s that’s one thing that

Bill Richards: like it or not,

Sam Believ: yeah. It’s one thing we can’t avoid and there’s a lot of sort of conversation about that.

Maybe if we were not under constant threat of de mice, maybe we would, not enjoy life that much. What about yourself? What is your personal level of fear when it comes to dying? And then what do you think happens after we die?

Bill Richards: I’m a strong believer in letting everyone put their own words on that.

There are many different belief systems about what. Life after death may be like if there indeed is such a thing. And I don’t think there’s any reason that there has to be a one size fits all. Maybe there are many different varieties of mental conscious awareness after death.

About one of the core insights in mystical states is this convincing, intuitive insight, really, that makes people claim that consciousness is indestructible, that this is an state of consciousness outside of time and space and substance. And it could be one big delusion, but it’s mighty convincing when you experience it because it feels more real, more fundamental than the state of consciousness we’re in right now.

Okay. And I think trying to understand this. We have to look to quantum physics. Maybe they’re on the threshold of dealing with how matter can work independent of time and space, and the final substrates of the natures of energy. We just. We’re terribly ignorant about how to talk about the essence of human consciousness.

There’s a conference coming up in Barcelona where all these physicists are all getting together and brainstorming and trying to find words, but it’s, it’s a real frontier personally. Not to avoid your question I certainly I don’t think I have any fear of death. I want to live as long as I can.

I like it here. This lifetime is fascinating and I’ve got lots of people I care about and I appreciate. Music and nature and friendships and but I don’t live with a dread of deaths. And for those of you whom listening, who may have read my book sacred Knowledge or Colonel Sto, my, I went through the death of my first wife who died of cancer at age 50, and she had a very good death premature though it was our sons were 11 and 13 at the time. It was not an easy experience, but we did it together in a very meaningful way. And we dove through the grief work. You still have to do grief work no matter how spiritual your outlook on the world may be.

But I’ve been with many terminally ill people and that can be a very meaningful stage of life really. ’cause you really, focus on what matters and what doesn’t matter. Yeah.

Sam Believ: It’s it’s good to hear from you and and the sort of consciousness conversation is fascinating as well because the deeper science goes, the more it starts to look like spirituality, right? It’s,

Bill Richards: these transcendental experiences, especially the unit of consciousness often are preceded by what we call ego death.

The death of the everyday personality and followed by the rebirth of. Personality, death and Rebirth. Tibetan Book of the Dead, whatever. All the mystical strains and all the world religions have words to point to this transcendental state of awareness beyond what is often experienced is death.

You could call it melting or trench. Dissolving into transcendence or awakening. But that death is a good word. Yeah. Because you’re letting go of the ordinary, everyday self the Bill Richards, if you will, or the Sam and awakening to something that feels more fundamental. That always has been and always will be in religious language.

We call it eternity in mathematical language. We call it infinity, but it doesn’t look like it’s going away.

Sam Believ: Let’s talk about future a little bit. What do you think based on your knowledge and your observations what do you think is the. Future of psychedelic therapy and just psychedelics in, in, in the Western society.

Bill Richards: In my book I talk about implications for medicine, for education, and for religion.

And they’re all important and they’re all unfolding in developing in different ways in different countries. The wise use of psychedelics appears to be incredibly effective in the psychotherapeutic world of treating depression and addictions and so on. But it’s much more than a new medication.

It’s also an awakening, in terms of the knowledge of who we are, what we are, what we’re capable of, and it has profound implications for religion of all the great faiths of the world. And that awareness is just starting to wake up. It’s been, the psychedelic research has been the focus in medicine.

But not so much in religion until just recently. And there are if there are religious professionals interested, there are websites like Liga, L-I-G-A-R e.org or for people of Jewish Heritage Chef of flow.org and so on, where, more and more religious scholars are now looking at the psychedelic frontier and the implications for what in religion is called revelation.

So it’s keep tuned.

Sam Believ: Speaking about religion and revelation, can you maybe recall? A and a psychedelic experience, something that, you know what is your favorite psychedelic story to tell from your own experiences?

Bill Richards: The favorite stories as I think, Sam can’t be put into words.

Okay. That’s the

Sam Believ: difficulty of having a podcast about it, but we’re trying our best.

Bill Richards: That’s right. We’re trying to put stuff into words here, but one mark of mystical consciousness is, its ineffability. And also the paradoxicality, when you try to put it into words, when you try to express it in words, it feels like you’re contradicting yourself.

I died, but I’ve never been so alive. It was one, but it contained everything that was, it was the void that contains all reality. It was personal, but it was non-personal and so on. It sounds like you’re just contradicting yourself, but that’s the limits of our conceptual abilities.

That’s the limits of human language right now, and. I often feel that the essence of the psychedelic frontier can often be perhaps expressed best in music and in art, and poetry and dance as opposed to scholarly articles in the Journal of Psychopharmacology. Okay. We push language in the rational mind as far as we can, and there’s frontiers.

We’re creating new words and new concepts. I studied with a psychologist, Abraham Maslow. Who never took psychedelics, but he had spontaneous transcendental experiences that he labeled peak, PEAK experiences and wrote about the further reaches of human na nature, the farther reaches of human nature and so on.

Self-actualization. Maslow wrote a book, the Psychology of Science in 1966 where he structured the spiritual as the frontiers of science. It’s not anti-scientific, but it’s. It’s what we’re bumping into in discovering these transcendental states of awareness within us. Okay.

Sam Believ: Thank you. What is so you also mentioned the effect of psychedelics on medical field, on religion, but you also mentioned education. What do you think is gonna happen in, in that.

Bill Richards: Rome. Yeah I’m a strong believer in experiential learning. It’s not just intellectual, rational, cognitive thought.

That’s great as far as it goes, but some things we learn. By experience and intuition. And I think intuition is more than just a woman’s hunch. It’s also a real way of discovering knowledge and it merits more respect than we tend to give it when radically different people report the same intuitive knowledge.

There’s a reliability there, and I think we have every reason to respect it and take it seriously. For example when I studied philosophy, I was taught that Paul Tillek, the Protestant theologian. Was influenced by his doctoral research in shelling a German philosopher, and that shelling was influenced by Flo.

And Plato. Okay. As if the red, those philosophical treatises in libraries and thought, yeah, I like that idea. Never did someone suggest that plots, shelling and perhaps pulic in the depth of their own human consciousness, also encountered the same transcendental realm realms that they’re really writing out of their own personal experience.

Not from thoughts they had while reading treatises in libraries. Okay. When I came back from Germany, I went to the head of psychology of religion at Yale and shared a description of one of the most profound psychedelic experiences I had. The response of that profession was to give me an article full of statistics to critique to prove I could still think rationally and I passed that test but he was threatened, he wasn’t interested in religious experience.

Okay. I then took that same description to my professor of Hinduism. Novin Hein, who just died a few years ago at 103, a wonderful Indian man and Novin read the same description and he paused me, looked me in the eye, and he said, bill, now you know.

No. Scholars of the Divine comedy could experience what Dante experienced. Would that be worth it if scholars of Platonism in philosophy could experience what Plato experienced? Would that be valid learning? Okay. That’s what I mean by educational learning experience. And why shouldn’t the universities, why shouldn’t theological schools, for example, have weekend seminars with credit for young theologians who would like to experience visionary and mystical states of awareness?

To understand where the religious beliefs come from, to know what Isaiah might have experienced in the temple. Why not

Sam Believ: for me personally, that makes all the sense in the world that. I mostly talk about ayahuasca, not psychedelics in general, but I am, I’m a big fan of psychedelics as well, most of them.

And I like to say, you give me a problem and I can tell you how to fix it with Ayahuasca. And education is one of them. I definitely personally have noticed that sometimes I, there’s a problem and I need to look for a solution. And for some reason I have. Spontaneously the best a answer possible immediately.

And it’s, it seems like the work with psychedelics for me made me more educated or at least more curious about stuff. So I definitely believe in in, in getting smarter through psychedelics and that, that’s probably the ultimate realm of education is, whatever, people that create computers that we use now to talk on the opposite side of the globe.

They were using psychedelics to get the ideas to how to fix mathematical problems. And I think if we use psychedelics for healing, for spirituality, and also for learning our society would be saner. Happier and so smarter.

Bill Richards: Yes, and it’s not just psychedelics, it’s knowledge of these transcendental states.

Like Abraham Maslow in his studies of self actualizing people interviewed people like Albert Einstein and Eleanor Roosevelt, who allegedly had spontaneous, mystical experiences, that were very. Meaningful and valuable, informative for them. In this I view psychedelics. I have great respect for ayahuasca.

It’s a, definitely a sacred drew, no question about it. But it’s essentially di dimethyl tryptamine and. In my experience with LSD and DPT and psilocybin and so on, I’ve come to view these different molecules, if you will, as different skeleton keys or universal keys that give access to these alternative states.

I think the experiences are. Beth understood is not being in the molecule of the drug, but it’s in the human mind. And I think if you took a sample of 20 people who had received different doses of LSD and DPT and DMT and. Psilocybin and perhaps mescal. I think you would find the same strata of experiencing the same varieties of intrapsychic phenomena being discovered in reported, and it’s, those worlds are incredibly vast and diverse and wonderful.

For some people quite terrifying. But, and incredibly beautiful at times. But I don’t think the experiences are in the drug, if you will, but they’re in us.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I agree with that. I definitely agree that psychedelics are catalysts or keys as you say, or sometimes I like to say they’re like an antenna that helps you.

Put your signal out better and receive better as well. So both receiver and and repeater, whatever types of antenna. But I think I think where psychedelics come useful is the fact that for those spontaneous mystical experiences like experience by Ma Maslow or Einstein, I think the person needs to be very sensitive and very like.

Connected to themselves in order to even feel that. And then the way state, the state in which we are now as a society, we’re probably the most disconnected from those natural states as ever before. So I think what psychedelics can do is be this catalyst and this very strong sort of starter to start that.

Motor going for them, for people to pursue other modalities. And that brings me to my next question to you. What are the best nons psychedelic practices that you have found and experienced and observed to take people to those states and realizations?

Bill Richards: Whatever works for you there.

There’s a plethora of meditation techniques, but basically being centered being open observing your mind for many people being immersed in nature. Is an incredibly powerful trigger of these states sensing the life around you. The beauty of the mystery, of the structure of the flower or the mountain.

David Steinle Ross, the Jesuit theologian, who’s still alive with us in his late nineties talks about just feeling gratitude. He says, gratitude is the essence of the spiritual life. And boy, if you can tune into that you’re close to what really matters, and I also want to acknowledge the value of psychedelics in stimulating, awakening, creativity, people like Steve Jobs and leaders in genetics.

Francis Crick and so on have attributed their creative brilliance really to their psychedelic use. And why should our societies be phobic of them? Like we need to learn to use them wisely and responsibly. Anyone who just throws the drug in their mouth to see what will happen, I think is stupid.

My, my metaphor for that is jumping on a pair of skis and heading downhill without any instruction of how to steer or how to balance, just silly. It’s a waste of good ayahuasca. Okay? But if you have some preparation, you’re in a grounded relationship where you can choose to trust or to entrust yourself to your own consciousness.

Whether what emerges is pleasant or unpleasant, you know it’s gonna be a. Mother Ayahuasca has a lesson for you. It might be a painful lesson, but it’s a good lesson. Trust it, receive it, participate in and turn off the rational mind while the experience is happening. Don’t say, stop the world. I have to figure out what’s going on here, collect experiences, and then put words on them at the end of the day.

If there’s something frightening, go straight towards it as fast as you can. If there’s a boogieman, a monster, a dragon, a scary serpent, it’s hello, what are you? What are you doing in my mind? What can I learn from you? You go towards it. You don’t run away from it unless you want a seminar in panic and paranoia.

That’s silly. It’s your own mind trying to teach you something. No. If it’s scary, you go towards it as fast as you can and you learn from it and you tumble through it. Maybe it’s unresolved grief or guilt, there’s nothing to the insight that people say after deep experiences is. Repetitively, there is nothing to fear, and that makes true inner peace possible.

Sam Believ: Thank you, bill. Those are great recommendations. You mentioned that, gratitude being one of those tools for transcendental experiences and just let’s say enlightenment. So I wanna end this episode. On the note of gratitude. So once again, thank you for the work you’ve done, the studies of the people you helped, the books you’ve written, and I appreciate your generation and the sacrifice you had to endure and lack of appreciation for your work for long time.

So thank you so much and thank you for coming on.

Bill Richards: Thank you for what you’re doing, Sam, and clearly if you’re. Anywhere near where I am contact me and we’ll meet in person. Actually I’m speaking in Latvia coming up. I know you’re not there anymore.

Sam Believ: That’s too bad. I haven’t been there in more than six years, but yeah.

Say say hi to everyone. Say that there are a lot of events also doing doing psychedelic work.

Bill Richards: Yep. Okay. All good wishes to you and to the those who listen to this podcast.

Sam Believ: Thank you. Bill. Where’s the best place for people to find you? A website or maybe a book you wanna recommend or,

Bill Richards: yeah.

I would recommend my own book sacred Knowledge. It’s out there in 10 translations right now in Spanish. It’s, here it is. People are welcome to email me, but I my email box does get overflow and I can’t guarantee to respond to all of them but it’s an incredible frontier that we’re on together here.

Sam Believ: It says that yeah, I don’t think you have a website, but people can read your book. That’s that’s a good start.

So check out Bill’s book, guys. And thank you for listening once again with you, your host, and believe, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large. Please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Jeronimo Mazarrasa.

Jeronimo is a community activist and the Director of Social Innovation at ICEERS (International Center for Ethnobotanical Education, Research and Service). With over 20 years of experience in the psychedelic field, he has dedicated his life to studying how traditional plant medicine practices, especially Ayahuasca, can be integrated safely and respectfully into the modern world.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Jeronimo’s background in film and Ayahuasca activism (00:53)
  • The globalization of Ayahuasca and his role at ICEERS (03:41)
  • Maximizing the benefits of plant medicine (07:16)
  • Why prohibition and secrecy hinder collective learning (09:20)
  • Minimizing harm: physical, psychological, and legal risks (11:50)
  • Discernment and interpreting Ayahuasca messages (14:51)
  • Tools to avoid impulsive decisions after ceremony (22:11)
  • Cultural appropriation vs. inspiration in Ayahuasca (30:24)
  • How to care for others in ceremony without physical contact (40:12)
  • Indigenous wisdom and what the Western psychedelic field can learn (45:00)
  • Ayahuasca for prevention, not just treatment (54:05)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Jeronimo Mazarrasa at http://www.ICEERS.org and http://www.ICEERS.academy

Transcript

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com. If you find yourself in a situation where, for example, ayahuasca has told you to quit your job, sell everything, move to the jungle, I dunno, or stop your relationship, this is what you shouldn’t do, just for safety, just for precaution. You shouldn’t go to your house the next morning and break up with your partner.

You should listen to what ICA told you. You should take it in consideration. And then you should give yourself some time. Give yourself four weeks. Give yourself eight weeks. Give yourself eight months and really think about it like, is it a good baby? You have to break up with this person. What are the consequences?

Are children involved? Just think of the logistics and if three months later this is still a good idea and it seems like an important idea, then okay, so the first test is the test of time. And I would recommend that anybody that gets like a major sort of calling from Ayahuasca always gives it the test of time.

Because if it’s a true calling, it will be true today and it will be true three months from now. But if it was just something that happened to you in Ayahuasca, then it was just because sometimes these things happen. So that’s the first test is the test of time.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast, as always. Really the whole same leaf to them having a conversation with Geronimo Animo. Maa. Geronimo is a community activist focused on Ayahuasca and the director of Social Innovation at I Sears. He has over 20 years of experience in psychedelic field. He has dedicated his work to researching how ceremonial plant practices can be integrated in the societies.

Outside of their cultures of origin. In this episode, we talk about globalization of ayahuasca, maximizing benefits of ayahuasca, minimizing harm. What risks are there distinguishing between? I go talking and real messages from ayahuasca, lessons from indigenous practices, prevention versus treatment. I seers and so much more.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you Eroni Mo, welcome to the show.

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: Thanks Sam. Thanks for having me.

Sam Believ: Eroni. Mo, tell us a little bit about yourself and how did your life bring you to work with plant medicines?

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: I was counting the other day and it’s been now 35 years since I’ve been interested in psychedelics and a little bit more than 20 years since I’ve been drinking ayahuasca. I was 35 when I started. It was out of a personal interest. I was also fascinated by the topic, but it had very much to do with my own process and my own search.

And for a number of years, more than 10 years, I was working on a number of documentaries having to do with this, these plants and in general with encounter of traditional, of indigenous knowledge with the rest of the world, which we see also the globalization of the plants. I had done some work, we’d done some previous work for documentaries on mushrooms and on salvia Derum, and we had a plan to make one documentary per plant.

Then when we arrived to Ayahuasca, this was 2003, there was a lot less information. Nikitas was not what it is. There was, most of the information online was about deto dme, basically and the Brazilian churches. And when we went to Brazil, we spent three months there shooting with the different churches.

And I was just astounded because the world that we had been doing in Mexico with, mushrooms SIA as sometimes it felt almost like archeology, you were looking for the last remnants of culture of practices that were in the past much bigger, but are now where, they seem almost to be on its way to disappear.

And they were much smaller than they had once been. So I was astounded when I go to Brazil and just saw ayahuasca that was just a thriving living culture. It was huge in expansion. Very different from the experience we had in Mexico. So I became fascinated with this and we’re trying to make a film that would some somehow be like a family portrait.

I wanted to put like all the different traditional manifestations of traditional practices around ayahuasca in one sort of film. And, it took me a number of years to realize that was impossible. It was too large even if you stuck just to the traditional practices.

But this process was, very interesting personally for myself and also very interesting in my understanding of the of just how broad and how rich traditional Ayahuasca cultures are. From there, I would say it was a slow process to. Basically to come to the conclusion that there was, perhaps there were better things I could do for these plants than spend 10 years of my life making 90 minutes of video.

So I began to collaborate with the different groups and activist groups in Spain, and slowly I began to collaborate more and more with e, which is a foundation that has been exists based in Barcelona. We organize the world, ayahuasca conferences, we do many other things, but ICE e has been existing for 15 years.

I started collaborating with them 10 years ago, and then little by little my collaboration got first as volunteer. Then it got bigger until today. Most of my work, as you said, revolves around the the how to you could say, how to maximize the benefits and minimize the harms of deglobalization of these practices.

So I think it’s not a matter of debate that ayahuasca is globalized you. Now you can find ayahuasca ceremonies just about in every country in the world. Other plans are following San Pedro, et cetera, et cetera. And, with these comes great opportunities and also the certain dangers and my work and my commitment is to make, ho hopefully the best out of the opportunities and to minimize the dangers.

And this takes and this takes different shapes, policy work. We do scientific research with the legal defense for people who get arrested working with ayahuasca. And we also do harm reduction. We have free support center where we give people integration sessions for people who have been having troubles.

And we also do policy work at the UN level. We work with indigenous people. Develop, it’s, there’s many actors involved and it’s very multifacet. The expansion of this and also the work that is required to create a home for these practices outside of the country’s of origin.

So we engage with all of these things, and a large part of my work, or my focus these coming months has to do with how do we get the, increase the standards of safety, the minimum standards of safety among medicine plant facilitators. How to, how do we come to an agreement of what would be the ground, not the best practices of the work?

Because I don’t think those can be codified in any meaningful way, but certainly we can agree on what the ground sort of safety should look like. And that’s a lot of the work I do. I I meet with facilitators in many countries we have, we do harm reductions, we do training programs.

We have an academy when we teach about all this. But basically I gather the information and the wisdom and the knowledge about safety that has been developed by many different facilitators in many different places. I learn from their best techniques and all of these gets compiled into a course where we teach, basically, we simply put together the information and we redistribute it.

Sam Believ: Sounds like a very important work to do in this field because Yeah, that’s a, it’s a bit of wild West right now, and a lot of places that try and offer some kind of information is, seems like more of a money grab, just a very expensive courses saying same information over and over again. What you say you focus mostly on maximizing benefits and minimizing the harm.

So let’s start with maximizing the benefits. What are the. What are the main things to maximize the benefits of work with ayahuasca?

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: I think one of the IM, I important things is that basically we get, we, when something new, for example, a new technology enters a culture for example, x-rays.

When x-rays were first invented, people are very excited about it, and then they start using it all the time for everything. So when X-rays were first discovered, they were doing x-rays on pregnant women, they were keeping people inside the x-ray machine for hours because it was so exciting to be able to look inside the body.

And it took a number of years to realize that x-rays are actually really active and they could, they create problems and there’s a safer way to actually manage this very powerful technology. But the early days of anything are usually full of mistakes before things get developed. And this is a natural process of how societies learn.

For example, I’ll give you an example. You’re drinking coffee. I think you know about latte art. Latte art are these drawings that people make on their coffee cups. This started 20 years ago with some people I know their names are known. And they started just drawing very simple flowers.

And then from these other people learn and they other people learn. And in 20 years now they can draw, Mona Lisa. They’re making incredible drawings on your latte, right? You can see a progression from not very good at it, to really good at it. And this happens very fast through the collaboration of many people.

This is how our societies learn, and it’s an organic process, and it happens by itself unless the practice has to be clandestine and people have to hide. And then when that happens, this process is broken and people don’t learn from each other. We are just about, you think of anything that we’ve been doing for 60 years, making cars, driving, skateboarding, surfing, drawing, lattice.

We are better than we were 60 years ago. But you look at our use of psychedelics, you look at the way people take LSD today, and you would be, you could argue that it’s not much better than the way people took LSD in the sixties. And that’s because it is because of this clandestine people are HIV people work in isolation.

People don’t communicate, people don’t share the information flow doesn’t go, and then the practices doesn’t get better. So one big part of maximizing the benefits of these plans have to do with the fact that as long as they’re illegal or underground, as long as people are hiding, as long as there’s not an open flow of communication is very hard to make.

To facilitate for this organic process of learning to take place, basically. You know what a lot of the, work we do around this has to do with, presenting proposals for policy. Trying to imagine what the regulation would look like in a world, 20, 30 years from now in which planned medicine practices can be practiced legally and safely.

What does that even look like? What does the regulation look like? Who gets to decide who’s legitimate and who isn’t? Where do the complaints go? All of these questions we think about and we,

Sam Believ: so very valuable. And it makes a lot of sense because if the communication is not open if nobody’s allowed to talk about anything how are we supposed to grow from each other?

So hopefully this podcast and sort of psychedelic renaissance we’re going through right now where things are opening up, we’ll result in. More learning. ’cause I’ve definitely learned a lot about facilitation from internet and not everything is true, but definitely some of it works. And you assume that I was drinking coffee, which is not safe to assume.

It’s an ayahuasca podcast. Maybe I was drinking ayahuasca, but no I’m drinking a decaf coffee. I cannot, I stopped drinking coffee, caffeinated coffee, and it’s painful because I’m literally surrounded by coffee farms. But I’m trying to take break from coffee occasionally.

So that’s with maximizing benefits. What about minimizing harm? What is the main thing that comes to mind when I say that?

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: There’s, there’s there’s a number of ways in which people can be harmed by working with these plants. And there is a number of people who can be harmed by working on these plants, because, this can hurt the participants, but it can also hurt the facilitators.

And harms can come to them. And there’s basically three types of harms. One are legal harms. People can get into legal trouble for doing this in some places. The, basically everywhere in the world, the arrests are going up and the confiscations by Ayahuasca outside of South America, but even in South America now in Costa Rica, there’s in trouble as well.

So that’s one part of it. One part is physical risks, which harms which, in the case of, ayahuasca, in this case for example, they’re not so large. Most of the physical harms that come to people from working with ayahuasca are not directly. By the ayahuasca, but associated with it.

People fall, people get lost, or they, they fall in the fire, they fall down the stairs, they harm themselves. But somebody it is not directly due to the toxicity of the plants, which is not, it’s slow and asmatic. And then there’s a psychological dangers, or the psychological harms, which are larger in the case of psychedelics that can come to people.

And these affect facilitators and participants in different ways. The ways in which facilit participants can be harmed are, one set and the issues or the dangers that are present for facilitators is a different set of dangers that have to do basically with, with power, money, sex, intercultural relationships, and of course the law.

These are these would be the dangers for facilitators. And, we talk about this in our safety course, and then the dangers for participants basically are an entire subset of what you would call overwhelming experiences. So the overwhelming experiences go from the sort of temporarily overwhelming during the ceremony to overwhelming or disassociative experiences that sort of continue after the ceremony is over.

Sometimes they go away with some time, a few days, sometimes they actually, people go this goes all the way to a psychotic break, which basically is in itself, ally, it’s very rare, but it does happen. And then there is, and then there are the dangers that come not from the, like effects being too intense, the dangers that come basically from less than optimal interpretations.

Of what the experience meant, what the experience was telling them. And then people take action. Sometimes quite sudden action based on what happened in the ceremony and the effects instead of improving their lives it turned out to be harmful for themselves or for those around them.

Sam Believ: Let’s talk about this. How does one distinguish between the voice of the ego, your own voice, or things that Ayahuasca is telling you?

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: Yeah, this is the big question, and it’s not, and it’s not just a question for ayahuasca. This is a question that you can find in many traditions and in many places.

For example, recently I was looking into this and the sort of old Christian perspectives on prophecy. And how, because they also had to develop their own way to discern is the word that they use between what they call true prophecies and false prophecies. And both of them in, in this Christian cosmology are presented by different people.

True prophecies come from God. False proses come from the devil, but they are presented as Christians to the prophet. And the prophet has to be able to tell, to discern. So this, and then this same question is also present in other spiritual traditions and stuff. And it’s the question of, intuition, intuition versus you can also make it in that sense.

When is what? When is your intuition speaking and when is fear or when is your heart speaking? And when is fear, right? So very often people get advice like, you should listen to your heart or you should listen to your intuition. And of course that’s true. The prob the problem is that.

For example, if you have trauma, and because you’ve been beaten by a dog, you will very strongly feel a very strong intuition that the next dog that crosses you, it might be harmful to you. And you will have a very powerful inner voice telling you that this is absolutely true, but actually it isn’t.

So then the main problem to contextualize this is that very often people try to make one size fits all advice for situations that are not one size fits all. One size fits all. When you think in clothes and you get a one size fits all is one t-shirt that doesn’t really fit anybody fully you know it because it’s too big for some people, too small for others.

And then there’s a small percentage of people that, that, that should fit perfectly right? But I think in these issues, in issues of ego of personal development or. You need a sort of custom made one, one side fits all solution is not going to trick you. You’re gonna have to adjust and make it for yourself.

So in Ayahuasca, but also in all the survey fields, you find exactly this problem. People sometimes are told by ayahuasca things that are absolutely true, very important, transformative and meaningful. And then other people, or the same people in other circumstances are told by ayahuasca things that are in fact, harmful for them, just projections, their own desires, their own fears, their own, it’s basically an amplification of their inner turmoil presented with the authority of an outside force or an outside plant.

And both things are happening at the same time, and both things are happening in very similar way. So one needs to develop techniques to basically protect oneself from making wrong assumptions about what happened and to minimize the harm that come comes from this. So I will give, for example, a very classic example that, very often happens very often people drink ayahuasca, and ayahuasca tells them to quit their job or sometimes to break up with their partner.

These are two things that are very common. Of course, our job and our partners are the two most they’re the largest relationships that we have in our lives that take a lot of space, a romantic partner and our job. And very often we have, because they’re very close and very strong, we have, difficulties with these relationships either with job or with partner or with both.

Now, sometimes. This message, you should quit your job. It’s that it’s the right thing that the person needs and it’s a, and it’s a message that will be useful for them and sometimes it isn’t. And the ques, and the question is, and I can give you examples of both, I can give you examples of people who drunk Ayahuasca quit their jobs, found something else, and their lives improved enormously.

And people who drank iowaska quit their jobs and then deeply regretted it. And the same for partners and for partnerships. So I think one way to help there, there’s a number of techniques that can be used to discern on this, but I would say that the, and this, I’m just, again, repeating what I learned from very experienced facilitators that I’ve talked to through the years and just through my own process.

I’m not a facilitator and I didn’t come up to these things by myself. I’m really repeating what I heard from people who know a lot more than me. I’m. The first part is that I think generally speaking you should distrust anything that comes from Ayahuasca that appears as a er instead of as a choice.

And this, again, a very experienced facilitator told me that simply speaking, no messages from the astral world will ever come to you in the form of orders. Those are messages from your subconscious that come in the form of tasks and missions. This is Carl Junk said that when one brings material from the subconscious into the conscious, it usually takes the form of a task or a mission, a duty, something that you must do.

However, the messages that come from the astral world, because of the. This is, I’m repeating what this person told me. Because of the particular nature of the rules of the spiritual world, you cannot make human beings do anything. New human beings have free will. So these messages always are presented as choices.

You could do this or you could do that, and you still have to make a choice. Sometimes these things come as an offering. You are offered something or you’re given something to take. This is still a choice, you still get to say, but when it comes in, to have to, this is already a sign that one should take this thing with a little bit of of careful, of course this.

Again, because nothing knows, no one size fits all. This doesn’t include things like you have to quick heroin. You have to quit drinking alcohol. You have to quit an abusive relationship, okay? There’s some there’s some things that are harmful harming you. And this deal this will come in the shape of an order.

And these orders you should absolutely listen to, right? When you are, when you yourself are in danger. This is this is an exception to this rule, but Raf roughly speaking, if you find yourself in a situation where, for example, ayahuasca has told you to, quit your job, sell everything, move to the jungle, I dunno.

Or just simply, quit your job or stop your relationship. Let’s speak, leave your partner, ayahuasca told you to leave your partner. This is what you shouldn’t do, just for safety, just for precaution. You shouldn’t go to your house the next morning and break up with your partner.

You should listen to what Iowasca told you. You should take it in consideration. And then you should give yourself some time. Give yourself. Four weeks, give yourself eight weeks, give yourself eight month. And do they think about it? Is it a good idea? You have to break up with this person.

What are the consequences? Are children involved? How are we going to do with the, just think of the logistics and, and if three months later this is still a good idea and it seems like an important idea, then Okay. So the first sort of the first test is the test of time.

And I would recommend that anybody that gets like a major sort of calling from Ayahuasca always gives it the test of time. Because if it’s a true calling, it will be true today and it will be true three months from now. But if it was just something that happened to you in Ayahuasca, then it was just because sometimes these things happen.

So that’s the first test is the test of time. The second confirmation is from Ayahuasca itself. So sometimes you get a message from Ayahuasca and then it never comes again. That message is not as important and a message that you get in Ayahuasca and then. Three months later, you get it again, and then you drink again, and you get it again.

So if you get the same message in Ayahuasca several times, those messages have more importance than messages that you only get one. So there’s a confirmation in time. There’s a confirmation by Ayahuasca. And third, and then last but not least, there’s a confirmation from somebody you respect or somebody who knows you very well.

Talk to your friends. And if your friend said, this sounds like something that you should do or that you could do, or knowing you the way I know you, I think this is a good idea for you. Or it can be somebody who knows you, it can be somebody you respect, but you wanna also a third confirmation.

All of these things put together in the cover order can contribute to avoid people making rush, re rush decisions that are, very life changing, that involve a lot of moving pieces that involves other people. That can be affected. And that, again, if it’s important it will still be important a few years, a few months from now.

This also goes, for example, for romantic relationships. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Sometimes I was tells you, oh, this person is, your ideal partner. You should marry person. This is the woman of your dreams. You’re thi this is your destiny. You should, the two of you should be together.

Of course, many times it has happened and it’s been true. Other times it hasn’t. Again, just for precaution, one can let some, time pass and if it’s true, and if it’s true love, it is going to be true love three months from now. Absolutely. And if these two people, this also, for example, we recommend this also for like business partnerships, which sometimes people also have, people have like great business during Iowa, and it’s I’m going to work together with this person.

It’s of course, maybe. But how about you just let it settle? Yeah. Because if you’re meant to work with this person and this person, or you are really have a good, there, there really no, it’s a sort of the rush, some people I know they give people this rule when they drink ayahuascan it, they’re not allowed to make any life changing decisions until one month after the ceremony.

And they would, they are required to at least notify the facilitator that they’re planning to do this. This is like in some places they don’t even allow, which I found is very interesting. They don’t even allow a person who comes for a retreat, they come for a retreat for a five day retreat.

They’re not allowed to sign up for a new retreat until one month after that retreat is finished. Because sometimes even this is what people get, oh, I have to drink more. And that’s the rush decision. If you have to drink, okay. Very glad that you read it, that you got this feeling that you want to come back.

We’re not gonna sign you up and you’re not allowed to block, or, we’re not gonna take any money from you. We’re not going to until, again, one month from today and we’ll be happy to, pat over the process and take you back up again. This is just because again, people are, people enter this state of enchantment and they’re really moved, by, and it’s very, one of the most powerful things they could ever do.

They’re moved, they’re wash with gratitude. They’re completely mind blown at what happened. And then how does one care, properly care and respect the space that has been open and does not take for oneself what belongs to the person and to their experience?

Sam Believ: No.

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: See, as you can see, I’ve been talking and thinking about, these issues now for a very long time.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a really great list of advices. I would add one more thing adding interpretation to messages from ayahuasca. So it’s sometimes it’s not like it’s a yes or it’s a no, but it may, it can be a maybe as well, and you have to analyze it a little bit. So if you I don’t know, see Jesus in your vision, it doesn’t mean you’re Jesus.

Maybe it means you need to like, be more kind to people or embody the values of what a certain thing represents to you or to your subconscious because sometimes people take things too literally as well. And it does not always work out. Like in my case, ayahuasca told me to work with Ayahuasca.

It never told me to start Ayahuasca Retreat. But then. As soon as I came back from the jungle, synchronicity started happening and it happened. So I think synchronicity can also be another sign when something seems to be pushing you in some direction as well. Soon after your experience seems to correlate with what you’ve seen with the medicine, maybe I would pay some extra attention to it.

I know it’s it’s not something you can scientifically measure, but that kind of, I would leave it to people’s interpretation and definitely as long as you give it enough time

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: It realize itself. Yeah. On that topic of interpretation I have an example. It is a true story and this is a woman who drank ayahuasca and she saw babies like human babies.

And then when she came out of the experience, she interpreted that this is a prediction of her future. I’m going to have babies. And it was only, when I met her years later. That she had married the man that she was with, and she had babies with him and then got divorced. That she told me that she now thought that what Ayahuasca was telling her is that she and her partner were behaving like babies.

So ayahuasca just, there is just an image is babies, that image in itself is not, say this, that, or the other. And that’s where people project their desires or their intentions, or they can, again, sometimes you can also see babies and you can absolutely be a message for you to open your heart and for what’s coming.

This is the this is the discernment part that I think is best done with some sort of support with someone who has experience with this and can ask the right questions until you find the answer. Because the, yeah, because as sometimes I ask messages are crystal clear and sometimes.

Sometimes it’s more difficult.

Sam Believ: Yeah, definitely. Talk to us about inspiration versus appropriation. I really like your Michael Jordan shoes analogy.

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: Yeah, this is something that I was very engaged with this topic in the early two thousands. There was, there were there were very few people when I started drinking ayahuasca.

There were very few people talking about this, about cultural appropriation in the ayahuasca world. Then since then, things has changed a lot, and there’s a lot of discussion about this. So it’s not something that I used to give talks about this and a lot more than now. I’m more focused on safety now, but but basically I think it’s easier to always think about these things in terms of analogies.

A lot easier to understand it. Imagine. I know it’s hard, but in my, let’s imagining a place, a country in the world where there’s no Jewish people or there’s very few Jewish people. And in this country, one young, let’s say, a young man becomes fascinated with Jewish spirituality and kabbala and because it is absolutely fascinating.

Jewish Jewish spiritual knowledge is like 3000 years of, collective, it’s just an amazing it’s an amazing cathedral of knowledge to get into and this young man becomes fascinated with it and starts reading all he can about it and seeing more things.

And then at some point he decides to, visit some communities of Orthodox Jews where he spends some time and he gets fascinated and he’s allowed in. And, but again, he’s very much a foreigner. He’s very much a stranger. He doesn’t speak the language. He is entering a culture that is very where, that is not, it’s something that people are born into.

And that it is been it’s not that it’s not that it’s not possible for outsiders to join these communities. It’s that it’s not very easy. It actually certainly takes a lot of work and a lot of, to, it’s a lot, it’s a lot to but this person spend some time with this, and after six months, or one year or two years, I dunno, he goes back to his country where there’s no, nobody has ever seen this, and he puts on a kippah, and he opens a place and he calls it a synagogue right in the country where he is, where nobody has ever seen a synagogue, may know, maybe this is a rabbi, why not?

Nobody knows, right? Obviously in the Orthodox communities that he visited, they probably have a very different opinion about what this person knows and understands. It’s basically the simple, it’s really the simple, even though it’s not seen like that way, there’s, I think a lot of there, there’s people approach indigenous knowledge with very shallow under illusions that they can, go to a place, not learn the language, spend six months or two years, just and then learn, something as complex as, Amazonian, shamanic practices, and then go ahead and of course, back in their countries, as long as they don’t work with indigenous people, nobody’s going to tell, nobody’s gonna be able to tell if they’re very good or very bad, because, that, it’s just, they just, no one’s ever seen that, one part of it is that, yeah, nobody wants to be that guy. Don’t do that. Don’t do it. It’s simple. I’m not even going to go. It’s harmful. It’s harmful to you. It’s harmful to the culture. It’s hard, it’s harmful to other people. Right now. At the same time, there is an absolute pressure of of knowledge and understanding that comes from the experience of en encountering a culture that is deeply foreign to you.

And going into the process of learning and understanding this culture, not just for what you understand of this culture, but because of what this culture makes you understand about your culture, because they do things different. It makes you think about the way that you do things. This is the anthropological experience.

All anthropol, your anthropologists that work with other cultures will talk about this endlessly. Just how, how mind, how it just opens your view, your understanding of who you are, what the world is. Who other people are. It’s one of the richest things that you can experience.

So I’m not at all trying to discourage people from engaging, in intercultural exchanges. I think it’s one of the best things that you can do, there’s certain, there’s certain, basic mistakes that are made. And this is what I call the, or dangers that come with it.

And this is what I call the difference between or, yeah. The difference between inspiration and appropriation. Appropriation is basically taking something that is not yours and copying it and using it usually for profit. So indigenous people, they wear these feathers, I put the feathers, they sing this song, icing this song, they do this.

You’re just aping something. And the mistake in there is mistaking the forms for the for the spiritual power underneath. Michael Jordan, shoots a hoop. It looks very simple gesture. He just goes like this, and the bow sides. You could, if you wanted to play basketball and you’re coming from another planet, you could look at him and you could try to copy that gesture, but of course, the gesture is not the gesture. The gesture is that he has done this gesture 10 million times since he was, six years old. And this gesture is second nature to him. And in the slightest hand, he can calculate the arc of the ball, and he knows the weight of the ball instinctually, and he knows how the football flies through there, so he can make, so anybody can copy.

The gesture is easy enough, anybody can copy it, but chances are you’re not gonna make, you’re not gonna make it to the basket. Similarly, in traditional Amazonian medicine, there’s a number of ritual gestures. For example, blowing tobacco, or blowing awa flo, or, singing certain songs or clearing people with Sasha Cap.

These gestures are relatively simple. They’re seen easy to copy. They are in fact easy to copy. What is not easy to copy is the 40 years that they put into actually getting that part right. It’s all the vitas, that are being manifested in the songs. And the power that comes from their songs are the powers not in the songs, but in the vieta of the person who’s singing in the song.

And the power is not in the map, Apache, but it’s in the, it’s in the, it’s in the strength of the ber of his vieta and the work that is good that the map Apache sort of tobacco smoke is express over. So when now, and again, this doesn’t mean, and I don’t think at all, that people who are not in the unions cannot learn to do a proper ADA and do the proper, and of course they can.

This is not, it’s just. It’s not the same that people who are born into it and who were doing this since they were five years old, same with, flamenco singing in Spain or just many other, pick a cultural tradition. But so when the danger with when white people who are not doing proper, semantics training in the jungle, approach these practices is that they think I can just pick it up, do what they do and eat the same.

That’s appropriation. The interesting that’s appropriation. Appropriation is like you said is like thinking that you can wear Michael Jordan’s shoes and you can play like Michael Jordan. So you know, what is, what does the shaman have the feathers the necklace with the teeth.

That, I take all of these things and I have the same things as the shaman, therefore, but this is just like Michael Jordan shoes. They’re just like, of course they help. The shoes might, they’re better shoes than others, and those shoes help, but they are a small part of, what’s going on.

They’re just and then on the, on, on the other side of this is, what I would call in inspiration? Inspiration is trying to understand what are the universal human needs that and human, universal human solutions that are underneath what right? So you look at a supply, for example.

And when you, as and I know I’ve gotten many wonderful supply that there can be during Iowa Care ceremony before and after you get the supply. That’s how powerful they are. They’re incredibly effective. You go and you get this and it just realigns and brings you back.

It can do all sorts of things. That’s one aspect of it. But the O, the other aspect of it, the aspect that I would say is universal. The aspect where you can be inspired is that what’s happening is sometimes during the ceremony, people are gonna have difficult or very difficult times. And then in those times, as a plan can help, that is there’s going to be times not just with ica in general, with psychedelics in which people are going to need support.

They’re going to need active help from somebody else. And this help takes form of an act. It has to take the form of an act of care. The facilitator has to do something to the participant where the participant knows that they’re being cared for. And you know this, when you’re receiving Aop Plata, it’s obvious that, and that’s how people open their arms.

People open themselves up because they know they’re going to receive, they’re being cared for. But this act of care has to have a language. That is not the language of everyday life. Our act of care are, I’m going to give you a hug, I’m going to hold your hand. I’m going to put my arm around your shoulders.

All of these are act of care in our culture. All of these acts are questionable within the psychedelic experience. Why? Because they can be mistaken for somebody else, depending on the person. Giving them a hug is exactly what they need, or is the most triggering traumatic thing that can happen to them is not in the hug, it’s in the person who receives it, and whether they need it and what’s their particular history.

And there is sorts of things that have gone wrong with this even, in clinical settings. However, the thing about Op Plata is that it is an act of care that uses a different language. So you know you’re being cared for, but this cannot be mistaken for anything romantic or anything else. It doesn’t, it’s just, you.

So the, for me, the deeper issue, the inspiration issue that is being solved in Adas is how do you touch people during psychedelics without touching them? And the answer is you can touch ’em with your breath, you can touch ’em with feathers, you can touch ’em with a leaf and you can touch ’em with may.

There’s ways to actually care for people, and people need it, and people will appreciate it, that are not this language, which are, in, in in clinical psychedelic trials that are stuck with these problems. It’s can I hold your hand? Is it okay if I put my arm around your shoulders?

It’s this is not it. It’s what is the language? What is the language that is needed here so people feel cared for? And it’s not, and it cannot be mistaken for anything else. That insight cannot be half. Without the experience of traditional indigenous knowledge. And at the same time, it doesn’t need to copy, the form in order to benefit from the insight.

This is the difference between inspiration and appropriation.

Sam Believ: Yeah. That’s really important topic to touch and I love your explanation. We have a shaman, right? A Tata here, they call him in Colombia. He, for most people, it just seems like he give, pours you a cup and he gives you a cup, and sometimes he makes some sounds and then he sit in his hammock and it looks like this is really easy, I can do it as well.

But in reality the underlying sort of spiritual work and the training, as you say, starting, you was six years old when you started training. That is the part that’s really difficult to to emulate and it can lead to a lot of issues. And I’ve met people. That, that did this. They come and they drink medicine, then they find a one month course on internet about how to become a shaman.

And then they’re like, I’m a shaman. Now, obviously I have a license, I have a signed document. But it is putting a Santa Claus costume is not, doesn’t make you a Santa Claus. And but the interesting part that’s not often talked about is that the appropriation doesn’t have to be done from a white person to an indigenous person.

It can also be done from one indigenous person to another. Especially now when there’s a lot of money in the medicine, a lot of people that will know what the way they look and they will wear the feathers and the bracelets and the uniform and like all the clothing of a shaman, they will, some of them will look more shaman than my real shaman, and it’s really hard to tell the difference.

However, they have no idea what they’re doing, even. A white blonde facilitator that’s been working with the medicine for a few years will know much more than they do. They do, but they will make it look absolutely believable and then they can hurt people because they have no idea what they’re doing.

So yeah. What, talking about the indigenous topic, what are the, in, in our psychedelic renaissance now, what are the things we can learn? What are the things we should bring from them, from the point of view of this maximizing benefits and minimizing the harms?

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: This is the reason why I work I don’t work in psychedelic medicine, but in planned medicine because I think basically I think that, are, if you are about to start doing something new, if you were an extraterrestrial and you were about to start making wine, maybe you’d be well advised to at least spend some time or at least, take some tips from people in the Mediterranean basin who’ve been drinking or been drinking and making wine for 5,000 years.

It is not that you can you could also start making wine by yourself and find your own way, you absolutely. It’s just, you’re just gonna make a lot more mistakes along the way. And there’s some mistakes that, that, that can be safe. Now, psychedelics in general, the experience that psychedelics bring and how to manage them are extremely new for us.

Culturally. I’m talking about, western people basically, LSD brings this back in the sixties and we’re not very good at doing LSD or, the amount of accumulated sort of knowledge that we have since the sixties about this is not great at all. At the same time, there’s a sort of.

Aog that comes from the medical professions, from bi biomedical professions that say this is brain chemistry and I’m a psychiatrist, or, or this is, psychological process and I’m a psychologist, or this is a medicine and I’m a doctor, and therefore I should be the one doing this.

And then they start inventing by themselves. Ways to do this. These ways usually look, now if you google psychedelic assisted therapy, what you’re going to see is an image of a person laying in a bed. It’s a very spare room. Maybe there’s a, maybe there’s a flower or a base, they’re laying in a bed.

They have a blanket, they have a a face mask, and they have some headphones and they’re listening to a playlist, and there’s usually two therapists with them. This is for example, Kate, I in clinics also look like this, the better ones, in other ones you, you only have a chair, this is this is what people that come from the medical procession have decided this is the way to do it.

Which is basically what it looks, because it looks like what they were doing before. They were doing psychology before and people were la laying, like Freudian, they were laying on in the couch, and the psychologist was sitting next to them. So now we’re just gonna give ’em psychedelics.

And do, very similar about pe of music and, this is what I mean about the arrogance. And I think there’s a treasure of knowledge and I’m for a moment, I’m going to put to aside, the cultural and spiritual knowledge because you know that, that gets enough said. And because for some of these people, medical doctors, the whole cultural and spiritual thing already, they don’t like, so it, even putting this aside.

Which is, this treasure, like I said, this cathedral of knowledge, just the practical insights that you can find in ceremonial plant work about how best to what is the better container for psychedelic, are there already. It’s like you need to re you, you need to retire a little bit from the world, you need together with a group of people, ideally in a place that is, quiet and peaceful, where you’re not gonna get disturbed.

Everybody’s going to bring at the same time, and there’s going to be one person who has more experience than the rest who’s responsible for the group and who’s going to engage in some sort of ritual act, usually involving music that can not just direct the experience of the people, but also reflect it.

This is what a playlist doesn’t do. A playlist goes in the order, it goes, and it doesn’t matter if you’re happy and the playlist is now sad, or if you’re sad and the playlist is now happy. That’s no good. You want to have something around the people that actually reflects in a way that is hard to describe, just, just goes together with their experience.

You want to def dfu, you want to blur the lines between the experience of the person and the work of the facilitator. And you do this and you do this in a group. And when people are having troubles, you need to, you need to engage in some acts of care that will make the person feel better.

I’m being super, you see how, like basic I’m being, like that’s why I say I put away the culture and the spiritual aspects. I’m just being, I’m just talking about, very practical things that psychedelic medicines could learn from the traditions if they just looked with some humility, and then you get something, very different from a person laying in the couch with a with a pair of headphones, the most amazing thing about this is that, I know many psychedelic scientists, people who are doing, the important research in different universities, and these are psychedelic scientists.

When you ask them personally how they like to take their psychedelics, they like to take their psychedelics in ceremonial plant practices. This is what they like. It’s taken plans in plant circles, what got them interested in many cases in the research that they’re doing. And yet in the research, they are proposing something for people that is different from what they themselves prefer for themselves, right?

This is the sort of a contradiction that we’re living in. So a lot of my work has to do with trying to bridge these two worlds and trying to get the scientists and the academics to understand the value. Of these cultures, not as cultural or spiritual things.

Because sometimes, as I say, for many of them, this is hard to swallow, but as essentially practical, pragmatic solutions developed by intelligent human beings over hundreds of years of practice and relationship to certain substances that are actually very new to us. Why don’t just, just take a look.

Take a look because it’s there’s a treasure, there’s a treasure chest of good practices and knowledge and information there that can be helpful. This is it’s this sort of, it’s this sort of work of how to, again, bridge. Between these two very different fields of knowledge, trying to speak the language of the other to the other.

So understanding that most scientific people are not going to be, super open to cultural or spiritual arguments, and that and that again, there’s certain there’s certain types of the ways of speaking when one is dealing with indigenous traditions as well.

But that there is a there is a an opportunity, there’s an opportunity for basically for saving us a lot of mistakes. So if you look at the history of these powerful plants, tobacco, coca, cacao, right? All of these plants, we came in contact over 500 years ago. With the encounter with America, our use of these plants was almost always more toxic and more problematic than the use that the cultures of origin had.

The way we use Coca is, you can argue much more harmful than the way in Indian municipal use it. The way we use tobacco is much more harmful. Every time one of these plants came, it was used in different ways from the regional people that were more harmful. And this and this pattern has repeated itself over 500 years until we get to Ayahuasca and then something happens that is never happened before.

And is that, you look at Ayahuasca ritual in Europe and it looks on the surface level, that sort of top level, very similar to a ritual, an ayahuasca ritual in am a traditional Amazonian ritual. And that’s the first time that this has happened in history.

Sam Believ: Another thing you say is, ayahuasca is not just a medicine and it can also, not everyone who drinks it is sick. So talk, talk, talk to us about the other uses for ayahuasca.

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: I think it’s my personal opinion that that psychedelics might be best better prevention tools than intervention tools.

So that the most benefits that you can get for is not that, psychedelics cannot help people who have severe depression or, post the traumatic post or anxiety or all of these things. It’s that if you had taken this some people and given them ayahuasca a little bit earlier before they begin to develop these symptoms, they probably would’ve never fallen into them in the first place.

I think the most interesting and widely AP applicable field for psychedelics is prevention is what doctors call prevention, not treatment. Also, because psychedelics are very powerful and very delicate, and when you are giving them to people who have very severe conditions, as then the container has to be very tight.

So you use, you give psychedelics to a, normally healthy person regularly. Generally speaking, this is an experience that can more or less be managed with some. But if you’re gonna give psychedelics to people who have serious mental health issues, then you need the container. The amount of attention, the amount of people it multiplies by several fold.

And that’s why usually it’s discouraged. And you say, I think there’s also a lesson there that we are ignoring, people are using psychedelics to treat severe conditions, because that’s the door that was open. Because we don’t have medicines for, treatment resistant depression.

We don’t have medicines for, complex PTSD. So that door was open and we went that way with the psychedelics. But it might be that in the future, we realized that the best application for psychedelics, or at least the easy the easier application for psychedelics has to do more with prevention.

Most people who take psychedelics don’t have a medical diagnosis they’re doing because they have a life crisis or because they want to know themselves better. They have to make a decision. They’re going through some transition, through some grief. You can call it many things, but it’s not a nimbleness.

It’s not a medical condition, it’s just life. It’s just life. And life comes with difficulties. And in those difficulties, these plans can help. But right now what is being developed is the legal pathways for these pharmaceutical compounds to be used in extreme cases for very serious mental health conditions.

And I think my experience in Aries in circles for 20 years is that where these sub, where these plants really shine or where you can see, consistent improvement, that transformation in people, it’s much before, it’s before these problems are developed.

And it’s when people are beginning to face this and they’re there the, this, the, these plans have this amazing ability to change people’s, direction make them step out of the, when they’re about to step into the. Into the poop, just soups on the last minute.

They take their food out.

Sam Believ: Yeah. There is there’s much in this medicine, healing is a big part of it. Very important. But then there’s also spiritual side of things, which is very deep and almost limitless. It was a real interesting conversation. We, it’s time for us to wrap up. So please tell people more about your work. Where can they find you?

How can they support you, et cetera.

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: Yes, same here. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yes. I will share some links with you. But I would just close with saying if people are interested in the part of safety and safety of these practices. We have a course that is every year increasing the safety of ayahuasca ceremonies, which is not a course to learn to be a facilitator.

It’s a course for people who are already facilitating and want to make and want to improve their safety. So it’s a it’s a very unique course, and we talk a lot about these things, about for example, data Vasca told me and how to avoid the, the pitfalls and the dangers that come and increase safety.

We are we are an, we are a foundation. So we’re an NGO, we’re a nonprofit. We live off the the tenures donations of people that want to support our work. In our website, you will find how to contribute and we have many different resources and skills available, both for participants, for facilitators, for policy makers, for researchers, for academics, et cetera.

Please visit our website.

Sam Believ: Thank you. Guys check out the silverware. Where can they find your course or where can any links or any,

Jeronimo Mazarrasa: it’s IC academy, but I will send you some links if you want to. You can maybe put it in there, but it’s the, it’s I-C-E-E-R-S Academy.

Sam Believ: Okay, perfect. Thank you guys for listening as always, really the host and believe, and I will see you in the next episode.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Lara. Heal, grow guys. I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Brigitte Kolibab.

Brigitte is a yoga teacher, ceremony facilitator, and long-time student of both Eastern spiritual practices and Amazonian plant medicine. Her work focuses on bridging the gap between the yogic path and the Ayahuasca experience, offering integration tools through body-based practices. She co-leads the Yoga & Integration retreats at LaWayra.

We touch upon topics of:

  • The impact of psychedelics on someone with an existing spiritual practice (00:03:40)
  • How Ayahuasca can enhance your yoga and meditation, and vice versa (00:06:10)
  • Using yoga as a tool for integration (00:10:45)
  • The Yoga & Integration retreats at LaWayra (00:13:25)
  • Psychedelic states that can be achieved through yoga alone (00:17:00)
  • The role of synchronicity and how Ayahuasca amplifies it (00:20:30)
  • How Ayahuasca influences manifestation (00:23:40)
  • Reflections on our first and most recent yoga retreats (00:28:15)
  • Why we’re planning more Yoga & Integration retreats (00:31:00)
  • How LaWayra has changed in the last two years (00:35:20)
  • Her favorite moments from the retreats (00:39:00)
  • Parallels between the yogic system and the Ayahuasca path (00:42:10)
  • Crossovers between Ayahuasca and other modalities like breathwork and meditation (00:47:30)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Brigitte Kolibab on Instagram at @b.khonest

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Brigitte Kolibab: I think what you can learn from your ayahuasca experience is something you can learn maybe in 10 years of deep meditation. After so much meditation, you might finally learn to forgive someone that hurt you to be present in your life. You might experience these deep feelings of.

When you drink ayahuasca without meditating ever, you can experience these things. Then when you meditate after this experience, I believe you can reconnect with those feelings much more easily. You can reconnect with the feeling of love. You can reconnect with forgiveness. You can reconnect with whatever you experience.

You can even continue what you are working on. Often. In the integration retreat in meditation, people were revisiting their experience and receiving new insights. They were. Continuing the message of Ayahuasca and they were giving themselves a clear place to connect with it, which I think was really important.

I feel like as someone who’s meditated a lot before ever trying Ayahuasca and ever before, ever trying psychedelics in general, I was. Experiencing what I experienced in meditation, but in a much, much deeper way. So I was able to understand a little more. I think sometimes when we like engage with these medicines, we learn things that we might not be quite ready for.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to ayahuasca podcast.com. As always with you, the whole assembly. Today I have an interview in a conversation with Bridget kba. Is that how you say it? Yeah. Kba. Bridget is a Brooklyn based yoga instructor, artist, and a retreat leader known for her transformative and immersive experiences.

She began practicing yoga in the age of 15. Great. He’s surprised ’cause they failed website. Yeah. Yeah. For formal training includes a 200 hour certification from Raja Yoga in Philadelphia and a 500 hour certification from Ish Ash Yo Yoku. Okay. She’s also an artist and I was enthusiast. Starting from recently.

In this episode, we talk about what happens when someone with existing spiritual practice try psychedelics. How Ayahuasca can improve your yoga and meditation experience, and how your yoga and meditation can improve your ayahuasca experience. Yoga is a form of integration. We talk about our yoga integration retreats here at Laira.

Psychedelic experiences that can be achieved by simply doing yoga. Talk about synchronicities and how ayahuasca enhances them. Manifestation, and so much more. Enjoyed this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Bridgette, welcome to the show. Thank you so much. Bridgette tell us about your history what brought you to yoga and then eventually what brought you to Ayahuasca?

Brigitte Kolibab: Okay. I think I was always very. Naturally inclined to the yoga meditation.

I remember one of my earliest memories was trying to explain to my mom that I felt like I had a front of a mind and a back of a mind, and the back of my mind could watch the front of my mind, and she was not understanding at all. I felt so frustrated, but I feel as a very young person, I was understanding this idea of observing my own thoughts, and then I had a pretty.

Loving family. But it was I would say a troublesome in my home. And when I was a teenager, I found a yoga studio that, because I didn’t have a lot of money, they had this offer. If you bring someone, you get to go for free. And I went to so many classes and I started feeling wow, yoga makes me love my boyfriend more.

But I think in reality I was just. Learning how to love myself more, connecting with myself. So then when I was 18, I started teaching. I had a lot of experiences early on. Then with meditation, I remember going to a music festival and. I was pushed into this tent and they put these headphones on me and this guy’s voice was saying, I am not the body.

I am not even the mind. And that was the first experience I had with deep meditation where I felt like I was floating above my own body. Oh, body. Oh yeah. It was incredible. And that’s also the place that I first started experimenting a little bit with psychedelics and learned some really powerful.

Messages there. But then I got my certifications in yoga. I was working other jobs and during the pandemic I had a huge online community, maybe 50 people across 50 or five or six different time zones. And it was that point where I realized, okay, I can build something from this and I don’t have to go back to working for other people.

So I started, running retreats. And then I found my way, my first international street here in Fredonia, Columbia. And it

Sam Believ: was your first one?

Brigitte Kolibab: My first international one, yeah.

Sam Believ: Okay. I didn’t know that. I thought you were doing that for a while.

Brigitte Kolibab: No, I had done maybe 10 retreats in New York and Pennsylvania, but I decided to do the retreat here and I found an Airbnb.

I looked at maybe 30 Airbnbs all over South America, and I had no real reason to choose this one other than a friend said, that one looks good. And I felt okay, that’s the universe speaking through that person. I’ll just choose that house. And then after I decided to rent it, but actually before I even got there, you reached out to me on Facebook.

And then it turned out we were here in the same. Tiny place in Columbia.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s very interesting because let me gonna switch the video to a wide lens. For those of you who are watching, who are listening, I recommend you find this video on YouTube and just see the background. So this is Fredonia behind us.

You can see the mountain, that’s called Sara Bravo, angry Mountain. And then behind you can see our maloca. But Fredonia is basically a really random place. So when I saw on Facebook that somebody was organizing a retreat them for, I was like, oh my God, I’m not alone. So I reached out.

Then you ended up coming to the Ayahuasca retreat. Yeah. And then I came to your retreat and some people from your retreat came to mine. And actually, when was it? Two years ago?

Brigitte Kolibab: This was a year and a half ago. But I had been thinking about Ayahuasca before you reached out. And like everyone says, I felt like I was waiting for the call.

I was waiting for it to find me, which has been how all of my psychedelic experiences throughout my life has have been actually. But, that day that you reached out, I. I had really bad menstrual cramps is, which is more relevant for later, and I was thinking so much about my heritage, my family, where I came from, in this deep process of pain and thinking about my lineage and.

I was thinking so much about my Lithuanian grandfather. So then when you told me that you were from Latvia, I felt like it was a big coincidence. And I also have a German grandmother that died from a brain tumor. So that same day I met a German man in the grocery store who told me. That his grandmother died from a brain tumor.

So I felt like the world was just like hearing these things about Germany. And then I also have some Native American roots that I actually learned more about in the ayahuasca ceremony recently. So all of these things came together and then I got your call. And something that I have never told you actually was about a week before I came here, I had a dream that you were in.

And your face was combined with the tus face. And when I saw you for the first time here, I was really surprised and taken aback. ’cause I had realized that you had been in a dream of mine a week before.

Sam Believ: Yeah. That’s pretty freaky. Who was it that Drew Titus face together with a Tiger’s face, one of the patients?

Oh, I don’t know. It’s like there’s something about ayahuasca, like faces burned together, but yeah, it’s definitely very synchronistic. Like the fact that you found from all the places, all the Airbnbs with the pool and stuff like that, you ed on you and how random it is and how unexplored it is. Like honestly, this area has no tourism.

Like right now we probably, the wire probably brings. All of the international tourists here are like 95%. Yeah. To the town,

Brigitte Kolibab: which makes it amazing to come here because there aren’t tourist prices. There isn’t that like distance between people and visitors. That’s crazy. People still,

Sam Believ: people here still like Ringo.

Yeah. They haven’t been worn out. There’s definitely some suspicion. The jelly, when we’ve been here for about four years now. We have a lot of guests staying, like a lot of times like blonde. Women like yourself, and I was always worried like, oh, something’s gonna happen. But they always catch rides and people are friendly.

Yeah. And nothing ever happens except for good things. But yeah. Let’s talk about synchronicities. Like obviously the way I found you was pretty random. Then you came and you found out was through us. Now we did another retreat and one really great. There’s a chance that we might be doing a lot of them, and that’s what we’re gonna talk about later as well.

For those of you who might be interested in integration retreat with Bridget. But let’s talk about synchronicities. Ha have you talk about synchronism in your life, in your journey. Like the one that you obviously pay attention to those little cues.

Brigitte Kolibab: Definitely. I feel like my life is one synchronicity after another.

I’ve had experiences where I’m in a tiny airport in some country in Europe, and then I hear someone say Bridget, and I turn, and it’s someone I went to university with or something like that. Even here in my break in Meine, I was at an Airbnb where. The other guest had stayed with a really good friend of mine in Italy.

But when I find synchronicities like this where I meet someone who knows someone I know or, I maybe see or find an object that just showed up in a dream, which is something that happens to me often. I always follow that. I feel like, okay, I’m on my path, or the universe is speaking to me through symbols, and I’m being guided to wherever I need to go, even if I don’t know exactly what I’m wanting.

I just have full faith that when these experiences happen, it means I’m on my path.

Sam Believ: Yeah. And then the way you described Ayahuasca calling you, that’s also a very interesting and very common one. Like I remember when I was going to drink Ayahuasca for the first time, for a period of time, I just started hearing about it from every direction or podcast.

And it’s just kinda almost like these days if you talk about something on, on social media, they like algorithms start feeding you, but it’s like in, in the offline world. Which is really interesting. And funny enough, I went from being cold to I asking now from through this podcast and through retreat and social media, now I become a messenger.

And a lot of times people say yeah, I don’t know if I’m cold to, I ask, I say if you’re hearing my voice, then basically you’re being called. I’m an unofficial messenger. You’re the ayahuasca angel, one of, one of the very many.

Brigitte Kolibab: And now I feel like by through you, I’m also now becoming that for some people in my life who were afraid to try ayahuasca, thinking about it.

Heard I was doing the integration retreat and felt like. They should come here and try it for the first time.

Sam Believ: So you first tried Ayahuasca here a year and a half ago? I

Brigitte Kolibab: did.

Sam Believ: And then obviously we just finished the retreat a few days ago and you did it again. So ta talk to us about your ayahuasca experiences and how does it tie into your spiritual practice and your healing journey.

Brigitte Kolibab: My first ayahuasca experience here, the reason that I mentioned that I was having menstrual cramps is because. A really big message that I got is that period of time is incredibly powerful and intuitive for me, and I’ve always had, feelings like maybe because I have a lot of pain during that time, that there’s something wrong with me that needs to be fixed.

But I got this big message that it’s actually a connection to source energy. It’s a time where I can receive a lot of messages. So it’s no surprise that you reached out to me during that time when I was in this big period of intuition. And then I also. I feel like what had been getting in the way between me and growing my business, me and reaching more people was a little bit of a feeling of imposter syndrome.

Like I knew I had so much confidence in what I was doing and what I was teaching. And then sometimes right before retreat I would start to feel like, who am I to deliver this information? And. During my Ayahuasca experience the first time here, my very first ceremony, I was lucky to have a really deep connection with the medicine.

I completely connected with the feeling of. My own power, which seems to be a common experience for people where they become more confident. And I feel like that reassurance from what felt like an outside source, that I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing, that I’m on my path, that I am a powerful person with a strong message, really changed over the past year and a half how I’ve been thinking about my work and.

I’ve always been incredibly impulsive with my choices. Like the synchronicities, when I experience one, I follow them. But after the ayahuasca, I think that was even stronger and it led to a lot of really great situations in my life. One of them being going to India and having many also magical experiences there.

That I don’t know if I would’ve necessarily followed, if I hadn’t gotten that confidence and that push from the medicine. And then since I’ve been here recently I feel like. I’ve been doing a lot of asking the medicine how I can help people integrate, and I’ve been seeing a lot of my own ego, a lot about other people’s ego, a lot about how to help people from where they are, and then experiencing very deep sensations from my childhood that I’m not really sure yet how they’re informing me, but I’m sure I’ll learn soon.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I think I saw a moment where something came up for you and you just had to go have a little cry.

Yeah. I’m not gonna ask what happened, but it’s interesting, like what you’re describing that. You had your first ask experience a year and a half ago, and then slowly kinda started doing something through you.

That’s something that I was trying to describe to people because I had my first OW ASK experience, and although I was, I connected and it was profound, but it wasn’t really, it wasn’t like an immediate answer. It’s oh, here you go, and here’s, not like a soda machine where you like put in a coin and the soda comes out and the transaction is over.

Yeah. It’s more of a, like a drip. Where you get a little bit of information, as I like to say, ayahuasca is not gonna change your life, but it will redirect you by one degree and you end up in a totally different place. It’s like a slow simmering process of realizations and just you change so slowly and so gradually you almost not notice it, but you end up being a totally different person always for the better.

So I don’t know if you can attest to that or how it felt for you.

Brigitte Kolibab: Yeah, I think that. I’ve had a really deep spiritual practice from an early age, and then in a more formal way when I was a teenager and over the past 10 years or so, even deeper. So I feel like I had this. The foundation already of connection to things that are greater to myself than myself, connection to moving into a trance-like state.

So I feel like when the Ayahuasca joined me, I was really able to hold the medicine and understand in a really deep way, like feeling like I was. Connecting to the universe through this medicine. And then the synchronicities were stronger, the manifestations were more powerful. It was like a way to deepen my connection that I had already started forming a pathway, but then the ayahuasca just came through and you feel so much more connected to the universe, connected to your path, and I feel like it’s easier to find.

Where you are meant to go. So maybe it’s not that the direction changed for me because I was already moving towards it. It just made the pathway more smooth, it increased it, if that makes sense. I don’t know if I’m speaking too.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Metaphorically or so. What I like to say is plant medicines and all the plants and the ayahuasca, but also tobacco they’re somewhat of an antenna that increases your signal.

Yeah. So if you’re like, manifesting, ’cause that, obviously I haven’t manifested all of this here pretty consciously. And if you’re manifesting something but then you drink the medicine. Your signal is stronger. And it brings me this thought that I had a long time ago. I don’t know if I ever shared it, but people think oh, ayahuasca is this religion, and if you drink ayahuasca, you believe in ayahuasca and Mother Ayahuasca is your God.

I don’t agree with it because what it seems to me, and we had people from different religions that they all connect to their old version of God. So like I think what I ask if if God is internet. Like something you’re connecting to Ayahuasca is a computer or a smartphone. It’s like an interface. Yeah. Or like that’s what comes through me because it’s just this thing that like, whatever you want, it just guides you to it to just so malleable and so varied. But it

Brigitte Kolibab: makes a lot of sense to me, and I feel like I’ve seen here it’s like some people are going online for the very first time and they have this big whoa, what is the internet experience? And then other people that have had moments of going online where then they can like, I don’t know, look up things for longer or watch videos or have a deeper experience.

Sam Believ: Just like you were going online from like a. 2000 smart, like not smartphone, but just a flip phone.

And all of a sudden you get like a nice sort of fancy tablet experience. Yeah. And then it’s so much clearer and you have the HD video and stuff like that. Yeah. It’s very interesting because some people also believe Ayahuasca is a technology like the. Somebody figured it out how to mix those two plants and then left it for us.

And maybe we lost something, but that, that remained. One thing I wanna talk about is something is that we don’t talk about a lot, if ever. I don’t think I ever mentioned the topic, and it’s something that is not comfortable for me to talk about, especially in the ceremony, which is you mentioned menstrual cramps and all of that energetic aspect of menstruation and stuff like that.

In the ceremony shamans they take this very seriously. So I call, if a woman is on her period, she has to be like, on the other side of the room and don’t come close to them because there’s like a conflict in masculine versus feminine energy, whatever. And then there can be like a rupture and but.

It’s not me, it’s not me asking you, but it’s just an opportunity for me to mention the topic. Yeah. Because we’re actually gonna do a workshop about it Yeah. This week. And so my understanding is that you describe yourself when you were in that state. Yeah. You were more connected and something is happening because honestly, o obviously the energy that happens there in your womb.

Around that time. It’s basically, it’s the energy that is strong enough to create a new life. Yeah. So it’s like really powerful thing. Yeah. So that’s why I guess the shamans are treating it so seriously because it can be so strong and overwhelming for them that it can hurt them. Yeah. I don’t know.

What are your thoughts about that? If you have any knowledge? Ha Have you had experience that you had to drink the medicine while you were on your Luna, as they call it here, moon?

Brigitte Kolibab: I haven’t yet, but on my moon, I keep getting, every time I’m away, I am on my moon so far. But I do feel like the more we connect to our bodies as women, the more we also understand our own cycles.

And actually, when I am. On my, like, when I’m really focused in meditation and yoga and practicing every day and really in tune with myself, almost always I sink to the full moon. So there’s something greater than myself with my menstrual cycle that’s moving through the world, through the universe a little more deeply.

Sam Believ: Or maybe you’re just a werewolf.

Brigitte Kolibab: Maybe I’m a werewolf. We could put both to the test for sure, but I think that time. Is incredibly powerful. And because it’s uncomfortable to talk about or because it’s something like not as societally accepted it’s something that women will hide. We don’t talk about, we don’t respect necessarily it’s not respected even by other women sometimes when you want rest on this tire or whatever.

But I think that it’s a time where we’re. Having a really powerful release that deserves respect, that actually increases intuition and allows us to connect with ourselves on the earth a lot more.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s like a renewal and very powerful stuff. But yeah. So let’s talk about the integration retreat we just did.

Why did we do it? How did it go? Were you happy with the result?

Brigitte Kolibab: Definitely, I think it was,

Sam Believ: first of all, tell people what is the retreat, what happens there and why should they come?

Brigitte Kolibab: What happens during the integration retreat, it’s five days after your Ayahuasca experience. And it’s a really powerful and important time because this is when your neuroplasticity is the greatest.

So a lot of times people. They think you might spend time integrating, but in reality you might actually go back to the city and have a party go back to work go into old habits. So the retreat gives people an opportunity to be here, where they took the medicine to be in nature. And then every morning.

On this past retreat, we did the morning pages, which is a brain dump in your journal. Every morning was silent so people could have their own time to process. I served tea and then we did yoga practices, breath work, meditation every single morning, and then other activities like. A manifestation workshop.

There was a workshop where we broke down dreams and symbols so you could understand your subconscious mind a little more, and maybe what happened in the ceremony, having time to understand the symbols that came up for you. And then we also. The cacao ceremony, which was a really fun time for people to dance and enjoy together because during the Ayahuasca ceremonies, even though we’re all together, we’re very much in our individual process.

So this was a time to bond together as a community, to dance, to play a little, to have fun, and then have our times of solitude where we look deeply in ourselves. The way I had it organized this time was each day was seemed with a certain energy center in the body. If you’re not familiar with the seven chakras, these are where they’re clusters of energy in the body that affect certain parts of ourselves or our life.

So I started with the root chakra, and that day it was very much about grounding safe. D rest. And then when we moved into the next day, we were in the sacral chakra. And this is about feminine energy, creativity. So we did an art activity. The yoga classes were themed that way. Solar plex of chakra is our power in the world manifesting masculine energy.

We. Fire that day. And then heart chakra, we were connecting with each other. We had the cacao, which really opens your heart. We did an eye gazing meditation, which is uncomfortable for some people at first, but ended up being really powerful in the end. And then through chakra, we practiced a big somatic release.

We made a lot of noise that day. I don’t know if you heard it. Yeah, we were shouting and really connecting with our voice in the world. So I think themed like this with the energy centers in the body, it allows us to connect and align with our own energy and then really gives us a time when we have the heightened neuroplasticity to be able to begin forming good habits and also find what connects us to our own flow state.

There was someone who actually told me that they had practiced yoga. Several times over the years, and they never really enjoyed it or got it. They just waited until it was over, moved through it. They knew it was good for themselves, so they did it. And then after their ayahuasca ceremonies doing yoga here, they were like, wow.

Now I understand yoga. I get this now for the first time after all these years. So I think opening yourself with the ayahuasca also allows you to invite in these practices that are self connection and healthy, good for your mind, your body and your spirit.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s it’s a question I also wanted to ask you because as you mentioned, somebody came here and it enhanced their yoga experience.

Yeah. So what do you think about. Ayahuasca. Enhancing your yoga and meditation and yoga and meditation, enhancing your ayahuasca experience.

Brigitte Kolibab: I think the connection is huge. I think what you can learn from your ayahuasca experience is something you can learn maybe in 10 years of deep meditation. After so much meditation, you might finally learn to forgive someone that hurt you to be present in your life.

You might experience these deep feelings of love when you drink ayahuasca without meditating ever, you can experience these things. Then when you meditate after this experience, I believe you can reconnect with those feelings much more easily. You can reconnect with the feeling of love. You can reconnect with forgiveness.

You can reconnect with whatever you experienced. You can even continue what you were working on. Often in the integration retreat in meditation, people were. Revisiting their experience and receiving new insights. They were continuing the message of Ayahuasca and they were giving themselves a clear place to connect with it, which I think was really important.

I feel like as someone who’s meditated a lot before ever trying Ayahuasca and ever before, ever trying psychedelics in general, I was. Experiencing what I experienced in meditation, but in a much, much deeper way. So I was able to understand a little more. I think sometimes when we. Engage with these medicines.

We learn things that we might not be quite ready for, and then the experience can be challenging, but I think meditation opens us up to be ready for those experiences. So meditating before your ayahuasca journey is, in my belief, the most helpful thing that you can do for yourself to prepare.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

With achieving the states, the similar states that you can achieve and all the parallels, I dunno. You’ve been to India, they say that in the past they also had some fancy psychedelic called and it’s kind sounds similar to Ayahuasca. Have you heard anything about that? I don’t

Brigitte Kolibab: know

Sam Believ: about it.

Nothing at all. Sorry. But yeah, so I’m just, I suspect that people who were developing yoga and meditation and other breath work and all of the spiritual stuff, I have a feeling that they were. Connected to you? Yeah. Through some medicines as well, because it’s kinda like hard to imagine somebody just comes and writes ves just by themselves.

But if you think that maybe they’re working with someone, ’cause psychedelics can also be a great tool for learning.

Brigitte Kolibab: Yeah. I think that in India, a lot of people that I met were very. Like anti doing or taking anything to en enhance their experience. So I started doing a lot of just little research on this, hearing what some of these people in India were saying about ayahuasca.

And I came across a really interesting story about oh. Not Alan Watts, Ramdas. Ramdas had a guru in India and he brought him LSD. And he kept taking the LSD and kept taking the LSD because his practice was so strong it didn’t affect him. But then he gave the message like, okay if you focus your mind on God and you do this in a cool place, you can take your yogi drugs.

And I really kept that with me. Okay, so long as you’re focused on the right message, you’re having a solitary experience and you’re not overheating like it’s supported.

Sam Believ: Yeah, from the story, somebody gave some sad psychedelic and they said after having the experience said, this is close as you can go before without going crazy.

Yeah. It’s as deep as you can go.

Brigitte Kolibab: Yeah.

Sam Believ: I somewhere believe that. Leave that. Let’s go back to the integration retreats. Okay. What what do people say?

Brigitte Kolibab: I think that, let’s see. There were some people that were incredibly happy to learn these yoga practices and meditation for the first time. There were other people that had tried Ayahuasca before but didn’t integrate after, and they felt a little lost about how to navigate their experience.

So this really helped them navigate. And there were other people that really felt like it was incredibly important to be actually where they had their ceremony and remember everything for several days to think about it to be here. And then with the help of yoga and meditation, all the different practices begin to dissect and understand what to do next a little better, I think to have this incredibly deep experience and then to.

Go off into the world, it can be really jarring for some people without a little bit extra help.

Sam Believ: Yeah, definitely. I would, I took part myself in some of the events and it was pretty cool. Your yoga is very good for somebody. Thanks. None, not yogic as I am. Very not flexible. It was good. My hips are much more open now.

So I think it’s, yeah, I’ve observed people as well, ’cause obviously. We’ve done the re we’ve done one retreat before, but we did ayahuasca here and then we did the yoga a few days later at the other place. And I already gathered some information, but this this was all here and it was all very smooth and very well organized.

And people were definitely very happy. And I think that in a perfect world, we would do that after every retreat and everyone would stay and gladly commit. But the reality is. Yeah. Integration is one of those things that people really need, but they don’t really want. Yeah. It is kinda, it might seem like this extra work and it’s like stretching after the exercise.

Everyone wants to lift heavy, but nobody wants to stretch. I, myself, guilty, never stretch. This is why my yoga is not going that great. But, it’s necessary, but it’s whatever. You always think it’s like this secondary thing till you like get a lesion or something and then all of a sudden you start warming up before and you start stretching after.

So I definitely, because we do so much work with integration, like we have this course now and we have an integration coach and knowing how little percentage of the people actually does it. Yeah. Like actively engages with it. And then after. While they regret it, and then maybe in the future they finally learn it.

So I don’t know do you have any words for people to motivate them to actually integrate, whether by staying at one of your retreats or by just doing it by themselves?

Brigitte Kolibab: If you’re already making the commitment to do one of the most powerful psychedelics on earth and you’re opening your mind, you’re coming to Columbia to have this experience.

Then if you’re already making that commitment, you might as well also make the commitment to yourself to make sure that you go back to your life a better, healthier person with understanding of the messaging, not just have this huge experience and then go off into the world and try to figure it out on your own.

I think the support is incredibly helpful and just integrating in general for me personally. I feel like it’s taken weeks, months to understand. And if I didn’t have a yoga practice already, if I didn’t have a meditation practice already, I don’t know how I would’ve fully understood it.

Sam Believ: Keep

Brigitte Kolibab: talking.

Okay. I also think it’s really important to understand that yoga isn’t, it’s not just like stretching and breathing. It’s wonderful that your hips are more open after the yoga practice. The physical benefits are absolutely huge, and the health of the spine, the overall health of the body, longevity of the body is incredibly important.

But yoga itself is the philosophy that the goal or the, not necessarily the goal. ’cause you don’t have goals in yoga, but the final step is samati enlightenment, absorption, and. Your Ayahuasca experience gets you a little bit closer to that, but without having a practice to hold what you learned, to remember, what you learned, to reconnect with that feeling, you might just lose it and go back to who you were before or.

You might feel inclined to change and then you don’t know how, and you might go back to the job that you’re not liking, knowing that you like it less or go back to the relationship that you’re not liking or forget. And I think if we want to make the world a better place, we have to hold the messaging that we’re learning here and share it with other people and have practices that make us healthier.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The challenge with, would I ask the analogy that I’ve heard somewhere and I wish somebody tells me who authored it, but if you see the mountain behind me and you imagine that the top of the mountain is the Samati and the Enlightenment and nirvana and whatever you want to call it, then there’s many different paths you can climb up the mountain.

Like hundreds of them, like very different paths. And I ask is like a helicopter that takes you straight to the top. And but then with the sort of clause in the contract that after a very short time, it takes you back down. So in a way, I think it’s very helpful because you can know what you’re striving to.

Yeah. In your in your spiritual practice, what you’re, what’s the state you’re trying to achieve. So you know where you’re going, kinda have a map, but at the same time, also it can be, a little overwhelming because you don’t know. How to deal with that state while you’re shortly in it.

So that’s what I was composed glow. So this is why integration is very important,

Brigitte Kolibab: especially in that afterglow time because not only are you your, is your brain. Ready to rewire and learn new pathways, but also your central nervous system can learn new habits. So if you go right to stress where you’re in a nervous state and you’re not breathing correctly, your central nervous system will respond and go back to that state.

But if you. Learn in the afterglow, how to relax the body, how to slow down the central nervous system, and you’ll be able to build this habit of being more relaxed. And for me personally, the ayahuasca and integration practices have really increased my intuition, where even when I’m helping with ceremony now I’m.

I’m having little psychic experiences. I am getting inner dialogue from other people. I am seeing images that people tell me later they were thinking about when I’m not even connected to the medicine. So I feel like it can also open us up to some pretty magical experiences too. And I’m hoping that this really deep intuition will increase the more I do the medicine and the more I meditate.

Yeah,

Sam Believ: you’ll come to the point where you’ll be tripping just by entering into Maloca.

Brigitte Kolibab: Yeah. That’s how I felt the first time. Like when I came back here, I felt really tired and I sat down to meditate and I felt like when I opened my eyes, the grass on the hill was breathing. And I’m like, am I tripping?

Just arriving at, yeah,

Sam Believ: there’s been so much. I was drank here and now, so it’s like in the air. It

Brigitte Kolibab: really is.

Sam Believ: Yeah, you just you come here and feel the energy. Yeah. It’s it’s very interesting the, this talk, talk to us about the ceremonies as well your psychedelic experiences and also your experience being in the service, in the ceremony, in

Brigitte Kolibab: service.

I, I feel really good in that role because I think it takes an incredible amount of intuition and. I feel like I’ve received messages from the medicine while helping with ceremony. So when we’re here volunteering typically we have a teeny tiny, a microdose of ayahuasca that we drink in order to protect us and also help connect us to the group.

And there’s commonly these little. Psychic bonding experiences with the group. Sometimes people are receiving messages about another person. One time after helping with a ceremony someone came up to me and said, mama Ayahuasca told me that you’re going to be very safe on your travels. So I wasn’t connected to the medicine, but he was, and then the medicine was talking to me or to me through him.

And I even had one experience where someone. I fell on one of the volunteers and they’re very deep in their process and she fell on the ground. But a second before it happened, I knew that I had to go over there. It was a really strong intuition of, go over there, something’s gonna happen, you need to help.

And then the moment it happened, I was right there to pull him off of her. I also saw at one point when I was helping during ceremony, someone very deep in her process, a purple orb coming out of her. I saw at one point dark shadows move across the room, and one time I heard a voice in my mind say, forget everything you’ve ever learned.

Stop thinking, just feel. And I took that as very strong personal advice. So when I’m helping with the ceremonies, I’ll have moments where I try to feel what’s going on. And 95% of the time it’s just people. Purging, they’re just puking in their buckets. They need a napkin or water. But if you, if I close my eyes and really feel what’s happening in the room, I’ll, I almost hear people as if they’re right next to my ear.

I think because hearing is increased on ayahuasca, so I feel incredibly connected with the group. And I’ve even had experiences where I feel as if I am. I going into other people’s bodies during ceremony and feeling where their tension is. So I felt like I went into someone’s body and they had a really big tension in their stomach and then they purged and I felt this great sense of relief.

So often when people are purging and I’m helping with the ceremonies, I feel so relieved with them. It’s like an. Over empathy experience,

Sam Believ: you can take it to the next level. And some people purge for other people.

Brigitte Kolibab: Wow.

Sam Believ: So you’ll be like, oh you’re going through a really rough time. Let me purge for you.

And then you purge and they get a relief.

Brigitte Kolibab: That feels the ultimate act of Yeah. Empathy.

Sam Believ: T has to be careful. It seems like you’re after his job.

Brigitte Kolibab: I actually, during ceremony, have had a really strong feeling to protect the title. So that’s, I think his job is protected. I’m just there for support.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Ts help. But yeah, it’s is definitely feel, it feels like you’re in that direction of like spiritual gifts, so you should definitely drink more and maybe someday you can. Become one as well. Not that it’s a necessity, but definitely some people are called. You mentioned like imposter syndrome when you were organizing your first retreats and you’re like, who am I to do it?

Yeah. How do you feel now about that and what have you learned and maybe words of encouragement for people listening that maybe wanna organize something?

Brigitte Kolibab: I think a lot of us feel this imposter syndrome and. Like, when I started doing this, I was a lot younger than most of my peers. So being a young woman I always feel like I maybe have to fight a little harder to prove that I am capable or intelligent or a leader in some ways.

But I think that. The more I follow my impulses, the more I do, the less I deal with imposter syndrome. And I think the moment that we feel it creeping in this, oh, I might not be good enough, or I might not, the other people might not like it, it’s important to honor those feelings and then totally ignore them.

I think they always come up for us. Have they come up for you at all? Any feelings?

Sam Believ: Absolutely. In the very beginning. It’s better now. Because we’re pretty well established. Yeah. But in the beginning I was like, what am I even doing here? We would be in the backyard of my home.

Somebody screaming and had a newborn at home was like, what the hell? Yeah. But what helped me personally work through that was the fact that I always had a Tita. Yeah. So I was never like, oh, here I am. I’m gonna give you Ayahuasca and that, that would be crazy. Never do this, please.

But because I had a Tita and I was like, plugging into an ancient tradition, it made me feel like, yeah I’m here. I’m just, I’m connecting people with the tradition. I’m just making a smooth transition. I’m a clutch. Yeah. I’m not wheels, I’m not a motor. I’m a clutch.

And that helped. But obviously now as we progressed, we ayahuasca is almost became smaller part of the experience because of how much more there is to it, and integration being one of the things we’re adding. So that. It definitely feels like we carry a bigger part of the responsibility now, but also I’m not by myself now.

Obviously I have a big team and if you are, if you’re planning to organize something and you are afraid that people will judge you or whatever, just know they will. Like I have people, I remember I was promoting on Facebook and this like you were just a drug dealer and this is. You’re blah, blah, you’re this terrible whatever.

Yeah. And those are the people that need a ask the most. Yeah. Paradoxically. But, so there will be judgment and there will be people judging you and you will judge yourself, but somebody has, you have to start somewhere. I

Brigitte Kolibab: had a message in Spanish saying, don’t waste your money feeding this woman’s ego.

Sam Believ: Yeah. So you have to start somewhere. So if you wanna do something, just go for it, because nobody is a perfect from the beginning. You have to start somewhere and there will be mistakes made and there will be difficult moments. And, but if you don’t, like babies, when they learn walking, they’re gonna fall a couple times.

Yeah. It’s just otherwise what Never walk. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And hater’s gonna hate.

Brigitte Kolibab: We also often. When you have a gift, when you have a call to do something, but we’re so much more afraid of our talents and our gifts and our success than we are failure. So often we won’t do the thing that we’re meant to do because.

We’re scared of what will happen or what could change or what it will become. And personally, I feel like getting over these fears has gotten to me a place or to a place where I’m living my dream life. I’m traveling and teaching yoga and making art, making some money, teaching yoga on my computer, going to amazing places like Lura, and it’s been incredible.

So whatever fears you have, whatever is on the other side. Is so much more gratifying and so much more valuable.

Sam Believ: And the last advice for those of you dealing with imposter syndrome takes some ayahuasca, preferably at low ira, preferably doing an integration retreat afterwards. Yeah, because for me personally I had my first Ayahuasca experience and it was beautiful and profound, but it didn’t really bring much meaning.

I was like this is great. Crossed off my list, I can move on with my life. And I thought it was just this thing that I did and it’s whatever. But what I realized later, a few years, like few months ago, maybe a year ago, I found the video that I made three months after my first Ayahuasca experience, or two months where I was like setting goals for my life.

And like all of them became reality. But something changed in me where I was setting goals and I was like recording them on video and I was just like, I always made me believe in myself. Yeah, just sadly. Yeah. And so that’s a very good tip. Bridget, when’s the next integration retreat and why should people that are listening, why should they come for the last re, for the Ayahuasca retreat and then the integration retreat?

So I’m gonna tell you the dates, if you don’t remember, do you? Okay.

Brigitte Kolibab: I know the Ayahuasca retreat starts May 12th.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Brigitte Kolibab: And goes until

Sam Believ: 18th.

Brigitte Kolibab: The 18th. And then we have integration between the 18th and the 23rd.

Sam Believ: Exactly. Why should they come?

Brigitte Kolibab: One, it will absolutely change your life. Your experience with Ayahuasca will allow you to see so much about yourself.

If you’re already listening to this, you’re probably already sold on Ayahuasca, and you should stay for the integration because. It will help you really ground this, these messages, and also you’ll be able to hang out with the community. We’ll get to know each other. I’ll teach you yoga. I’ll teach you meditation.

It’ll be everything you need in your toolbox to move on with your life and be a better person.

Sam Believ: It’s also fun. It’s really fun. Yeah. The people were really enjoying themselves. Yeah. Like I was the retreat. We keep it fun and people, it’s but still it’s ayahuasca and you’re like, you working and there’s some seriousness to it.

But the integration retreat was more of a. Rest and break and fun.

Brigitte Kolibab: Yeah, we have to be respectful of other people’s processes. So there’s a lot of quiet time, there’s a lot of individual time during the ayahuasca ceremonies, but after there was really so much play.

Sam Believ: Okay, so I’ll see you in May, guys, May 12th.

You have to book both events separately and it’s already on our. On our page, which is la wire.com or ica in columbia.com. So you’re invited. I rarely actually talk about LA Wire at the podcast. Oh really? Yeah, but you’re invited. You should come. Yeah, please come. May. May is also. May nine 19th is my birthday as well.

Brigitte Kolibab: Oh really?

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Brigitte Kolibab: You’re a Gemini cusp

Sam Believ: Of Gemini. Taurus, yeah. So Taurus, Gemini

Brigitte Kolibab: Cusp.

Sam Believ: You guys also bring a gift

Brigitte Kolibab: and if it your get cigars birthday, then come celebrate as well.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we’ll give you a discount

Brigitte Kolibab: the why, a birthday party

Sam Believ: then. Then I’ll give you cigars. Okay. Thank you guys for listening. As always, we do the whole assembly of and I will see you in the next episode.

Thank you.

Brigitte Kolibab: I

Sam Believ: hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. The Wira Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Robin Kurland. Robin is a licensed marriage and family therapist and psychedelic integration specialist with nearly 20 years of experience. Based in Sacramento, she works with trauma, addiction, sexual abuse survivors, and veterans, blending expressive arts, embodiment, and Internal Family Systems therapy into her healing approach.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Robin’s journey from dancer to therapist (00:44)
  • Her first spiritual experience with death (01:20)
  • The meaning of integration (05:02)
  • Using art and journaling after ceremonies (06:27)
  • Integration of difficult psychedelic experiences (07:11)
  • Long-term integration and internal protectors (08:39)
  • How expressive arts help with trauma (10:03)
  • Drawing as psychedelic integration (12:00)
  • Somatic and visual techniques for post-ceremony art (14:00)
  • How to use dance after a ceremony (16:15)
  • Dancing during ceremonies and movement as integration (18:12)
  • Interpretation vs expression in integration art (21:16)
  • Psychedelics and addiction recovery (31:41)
  • The link between 12-step programs and psychedelics (34:44)
  • Shadow work and Internal Family Systems (41:02)
  • Supporting someone with limited access to integration (26:46)
  • What is pre-integration and why it matters (49:40)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Robin at robinkurland.com or on Instagram at @psychedelicrecovery_

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Robin Kurland: Shadow is anything that got split off, put in the closet as a way to survive. So an example would be, let’s say I’m a little girl and I get really angry and I punch something and my parent. Maybe slaps me and somebody says, little girls don’t get angry, and oh, I have to take my anger and I put it into the shadows.

That’s how a shadow can be born. There’s also the golden shadow. So for instance, say I am a little girl and I’m just. Skipping around and laughing really loudly, and I get scolded. Don’t be so loud, you’re bothering us. Oh, so my joy is too much. So I have to put that in the shadow. So anything that gets split off and shoved into the corners becomes our shadow.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast as always, with you to host Sam Leo. Today I’m having a conversation with Robin Kla. Robin is a licensed. Marriage and family therapist and psychedelic integration therapist. With nearly 20 years of experience based in Sacramento, she specializes in trauma, addictions and integration for survivals of survivors of sexual abuse, childhood neglect, and veterans.

With background as a dancer and artist, she emphasizes embodiment and creative expression in healing. In this episode, we talk about being recruited by plant medicines integration and expressive arts therapy. Integrating difficult Ayahuasca experiences, integration by dance and movement. Is it okay to dance during the ceremony?

Psychedelics for overcoming addiction, self-governing nature of Ayahuasca Internal family systems. Pre-integration whilst Integrion and more. Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect. Heal, grow guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

Robin, welcome to the show.

Robin Kurland: Thank you, Sam. Thanks so much for having me.

Sam Believ: Robin, tell us a little bit about yourself and what brought you to work with psychedelics? Ooh,

Robin Kurland: Let’s see a little bit about myself beyond what you shared. I, yeah, I used to be an artist. I used to be a dancer, and I had a traumatic experience that sort of shook my world.

I was in a partnership with someone that had passed away, and I actually have found him. When I went into his room, everything was moving in really slow motion, like the furniture was floating. I saw his spirit leave his body and that was probably the most spiritual experience around death that I had ever had.

And, it really shook my world and I thought, I’m just gonna go back to the studio and keep dancing. But it really changed my perspective. So I decided that I wanted to be a therapist on my own. I was using, drawing and dance and music to integrate this trauma and I thought.

I really wanna share this with other people. And so luckily I found this beautiful program at CIIS where I could get my master’s, but also continue with the arts and weave arts and spirituality into my work. And yeah, that’s what I do now, and it’s a really great way to honor him. This is, 25 years ago I had this experience but.

Yeah, it’s a wonderful thing to weave into my practice and into my life every day.

Sam Believ: I’m glad that you didn’t let this trauma break you and eventually led to good things, like now you’re helping other people. The transition from a dancer to integration therapist is it’s pretty steep. I can imagine.

I went from being. Marine offshore and gas engineer to running an Iowa screw tree. So I guess we all get recruited in any shape or form. I don’t know if you probably notice people that, had their lifestyles and that all of a sudden they ended up doing something else. Do you, have you observed that?

Robin Kurland: Yeah, especially with psychedelics, right? We have these. Realizations and openings where we say, oh my gosh, I’m in the wrong relationship or the wrong country. But I love the word that you used, recruited. There’s something higher happening beyond our control, and it very much felt like a recruitment.

It felt like a nice transition though, because I think therapists are very creative. Artists make good therapists and therapists are creative, right? Because we know how to be in the mystery and the absurd and the unknown, and we know how to go with the flow and trust in something greater, like whether it be God or the creative process.

So yeah.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s a very common thread where people. They have one lifestyle and then all of a sudden, the reason I say recruit is because it happens very spontaneously and then more and more synchronicity start happening and it becomes obvious that’s what they’re supposed to be doing.

And that’s the world word work with psychedelics. And my engineering background helped me like build a medicine house and design cabins and stuff like that. And I’m sure your dancing background that led you to. Now integrating with art and dance. So can you talk to us about that?

To begin with, talk a little bit about integration, even though I know most of my listeners know it, but I wanna know your version and then we’ll talk about specific kinds of integration.

Robin Kurland: Yeah, absolutely. So I heard you say, ask a couple things. How I weave expressive arts into. My integration work and what my thoughts are on integration.

So integration is it’s a weaving. It’s a it’s a melding, it’s an alchemy. So we’re taking, and it doesn’t even have to be psychedelic. It could be a trauma or a vacation or something profound that comes up in your meditation. So it’s. An integration is an opportunity for you to ingest, digest, break down, and have it become a part of the fabric of your being.

I know that sounds a little abstract, but I can be a little bit more concrete when we get into the subcategory.

Sam Believ: No, it’s a great, it’s a great description. When you work with integration and I mean at my retreat, so I run an retreats called Laira and we have those integration journals and in the journals in the middle, there are a few pages with.

Is for coloring. So the, that’s the only thing I know about that is when people color their minds are relaxes and it gives them ability for more stuff to come up. And then I want them to sit down and journal some more. But that’s about it. So I’m really new to the topic. I want to explore it more and offer it to the people that come to my retreat.

So please educate us on the integration with arts.

Robin Kurland: Okay. It sounds like you’re doing beautiful work, by the way. It’s, yeah. I appreciate all that you do. And what a beautiful place you have. I’ll have to come and see you sometime. Yeah the coloring and the journaling, those are two very important things.

But if we were to look at, the integration of difficult experiences, is that an okay place to go? First we look, you and you probably see this all the time, so in a difficult experience could be anything from, like I said earlier oh my God, I’m. I’m in the wrong relationship or I’m in the wrong career.

But then we have more difficult experiences where people remember past traumas, whether it be a sexual trauma or just I thought I had a perfect childhood and now I see my father and my mother in a different light. And all of these are considered difficult experiences because it’s almost like a new trauma that your body has been carrying it the whole time.

Psychedelics is saying you summoned me and so here it is. Here you go. So those are a little bit more heavy. And so for people who have had difficult experiences, I would say the number one thing is to really get into a relationship with either a coach or a therapist. Psychedelics teach us that we’re all connected.

They teach us the importance of community. And so why would you shortchange yourself in that way? Treat yourself. You deserve it. You deserve to have that opportunity to really get into the nuances of your own experience. I think group settings can be really good, but it. But if it’s something like a repressed memory of a trauma or a suppressed memory of a trauma, I think it’s really important to have your own one-on-one experience.

From there, I would say integration long term is probably, I. Most definitely really important long-term integration. Sometimes people think I’m just gonna journal about it for a couple days. I’m gonna do some drawing. I’m gonna walk in nature. And those things are absolutely important, but the long-term integration gives this new material that’s come to the surface, an opportunity to integrate into your psyche.

And your protectors, your inner protectors your managers, your firefighters, they have worked so hard to keep whatever was suppressed in a locked box. And now psychedelics is, knocking things around and saying, here you go. And so your protectors are probably not gonna the idea of you staying present with this thing and integrating this thing.

They’re gonna work really hard to say, eh, let’s put it back underground and put some dirt on it. So our job. Is truly to keep it alive, keep in dialogue with it. And that could be through dance. Sometimes I have my clients, if they’re having a hard time accessing a part like their inner teenager or a protector, I might actually have them stand up and embody it because they just, they can’t.

We can’t always access it from the place where the problems are born, right? So stand up. What is, what does your protector look like? Is it a man? Is it a female? Is it an entity? What are they wearing? What do they smell like? What are their voices sound like? And so for them to really get into this part that is of themselves it really helps with.

The integration. I also very much encourage dance and sing. I think that any form of dance that allows you to. Be in relationship with this experience. And for instance let’s say somebody has had a sexual trauma that they had forgotten about that could be absolutely terrifying. I had my own experience with that.

If we have time, I can share with you. But yeah, it’s dancing is such a spiritual practice, right? It’s primal. And for people who have been abused, the we’re, we tend to be cut off from our bodies. And so anything that allows us to be in the body and, it could be a small dance, it could be a big dance, it could be to gentle music, it could be to heavy metal, whatever allows you to feel like you are really starting to build a relationship.

Sam Believ: Okay, so thank you for that description. But I think we talked about everything except for the art.

Robin Kurland: Yeah. What’s interesting is I do expressive arts, which is a little bit different than art therapy, right? So art therapy is visual or expressive. Arts is dance, music, psychodrama, poetry, voice. So any form of expression.

Sam Believ: So that’s my bad, because when I thought art, I thought that’s gonna be something about drawing.

So that’s forgive my ignorance, but.

Robin Kurland: No, you’re fine drawing. Absolutely. We do that too. I think, the mandala, I love the containers so people can really fill that space in and it feels really good, especially right after ceremony. Integration long-term. I really encourage people to be messy.

I’ve had clients who are so afraid to just put color. On a piece of paper. And so I’ll get on the floor with them and sit with them and color with them and draw with them and encourage them to just be messy. Perfectionism is a symptom of trauma. And when we’re frozen in our bodies and we’re so afraid to be creative and show our true selves, that’s a symptom of trauma.

Just I have I have crepes and I have chalks, and I encourage my clients to choose art materials that are a little bit messy versus the more contained materials like markers or pencils.

Sam Believ: I can tell you my kids are not traumatized because they’re very messy. But let’s let’s pretend that somebody was listening to this, had a ceremony yesterday, and they want to integrate with art.

They get themselves some crayons or some other messy. Visual arts aids. So what do they do? What they, what do they draw? How can one direct that experience so it’s productive?

Robin Kurland: Yeah, that’s a beautiful question. I might invite them to start with the feeling, what is it? What is it that you’re feeling in your body?

If that expression were to spill over onto the paper, what would that look like? And so I may spend a little bit of time doing some somatic experiencing. Another option too would be what did you see? What did you see in your ceremony? How would you describe it? And just let’s go ahead and drop down into our bodies and hold that image in your mind.

And then they could even extend their arm with their eyes closed and just begin to let the arms and the hands do the magic, right? So with eyes closed, you’re not thinking about how it looks and trying to match what you experienced in your psychedelic experience. It’s just letting it flow. So those are two options.

Another option would be to do it standing up if you have the ability to maybe hang the paper on the wall. That way they’re moving their body and maybe even making some, sounds like really letting it come through. So it’s a full, it’s a full experience.

Sam Believ: So what I just realized is we’ve been punishing graffiti artists wrongly.

All, all along. They were just traumatized and we were trying, ’cause that’s how it looks like the graffiti. Yeah. Had another question and I distracted myself with the graffiti part, but, and let me ask you the same question, but this time about the expressive arts as in dancing. So same thing, a person they just had and I was retreat yesterday and now they want to integrate their experience with dancing. What should they do?

Robin Kurland: Oh the first thing I would do. So if they’re able to, you can even do this, you don’t have to be a, an expressive arts therapist.

You don’t have to be a dancer, but just to be with the client and mirror them and invite them again, just starting with the body drop down into your body. What are you feeling? If that feeling could make a sound, what would it sound like if that sound were to create a a shape? What would that shape be?

And just begin from the shape. And then from the shape you can begin to move the shape, and then of course, inviting them to bring music. Music is very inspirational but again, starting with the body, starting with the feeling, creating the sound, creating a shape. And then from there, letting that flow.

And sometimes people are really intimidated by the thought of. Dancing and expressing themselves. There’s a lot of shame and embarrassment in our culture around moving our bodies freely. And so it can be really powerful to do it with them and just mirror them so you’re just following their lead, like they’re looking in a mirror.

And it’s also important to say, it doesn’t have to be a full on dance. You can just dance five minutes a day, it could be if you feel safer, you can go off into the woods and dance in the woods. Dance with the trees. Mimic, mimic what you’re seeing in nature and let that teach you what the dance is.

So there’s different ways you can incorporate that expression.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Not much of a dancer, but in the ceremony sometimes I feel the urge to dance and only in the ceremony, to be honest. What do you think about dancing during psychedelic experience?

Robin Kurland: Oh I think it’s wonderful. Do you see that a lot?

Sam Believ: Yeah. So we, the way our maloca, our medicine house is structured, it’s pretty big. And we have a stage, a pretty big stage where there’s also music, Madison music, Colombian Ayahuasca tradition is very musical. And then there is a kind of space in between pretty large space. And then there’s the mattresses where people are lying down.

So that spacing between the stage. And where the s are, we allow people to dance except for we ask them not to clap or not to make any sounds. Just dance that we allow that and a lot of people dance some more than others, some ceremonies, there’s just more sort of joy coming up. But yeah.

So I wanted to know your opinion on whether you think it’s it’s a good thing or a bad thing or anything between.

Robin Kurland: Yeah, moving the body is never a bad thing. I wanna challenge you to to dance more. It sounds like it’s in you and you have that craving. What’s funny? I have never danced during a psychedelic experience. I’m so much of a, like cocoon talking to spirit. I’m a big crier, lots of crying, lots of grief usually comes up.

So I’m usually like, I’ve got my hat on and my blankets and my animals around me. But as an integration practice, I do dance, lots of singing too. I’m not a very good singer at all, by the way, just having, opening that up and letting that sound out again is so primal and feels really good.

Sam Believ: I can’t believe I’m saying it because I’m not a dancer. But you should dance more in the ceremony, Robin.

Robin Kurland: I will. I absolutely will. Challenge accepted.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I done salsa for a few years, but obviously it’s much more. Much more structured, but I do enjoy singing. Let’s go back to the arts topic, because I remembered my question.

So I don’t do much art generally. My, my 4-year-old draws better than I do. But after my very first I was experience when I was seeing my hands were laying by my sides on the dirt floor, and I was seeing that my hands started to twist them. They would grow into the ground, those roots. And I then made a drawing of this.

I still have it, and that’s the only time I drew after ceremony. So that’s why I’m saying I’m really a newbie that, so my question to you is withdrawing is the merit of drawing only the expressive part as in like putting things on paper or is there, is also part to it, which is interpretation of what has been drawn and like trying to find some nuggets in it?

Robin Kurland: Ooh, what a great question. Yes is the answer. Yeah. So another reason to make sure that you’re in relationship with someone. I think it’s possible for you to look at what you’ve drawn and see if anything else pops out, but having someone else in the room to say, what’s this little dark corner over here?

What does this part want to say? I’m really curious about your colors. Tell me more about this color palette that you’ve chosen. Yeah. I think interpretation is a really exciting part of not only psychedelic integration, but just art and expressive arts therapy in general. It’s right, we’re letting this, the unconscious and subconscious come forward in this very abstract way, and it’s there to.

Teach us things. So yeah having an opportunity to, it’s just like dream interpretation.

Sam Believ: Is there any maybe way to analyze things Like, for example, if you have many sharp, jagged lines in your paintings, it means such and such. If it has, describe such a such object. Is there like a, like you have those dream al acts where you can is there a thing like this for art?

Robin Kurland: I don’t, there might be, but my. Training and just my way of being, I think it’s best not to put interpretation is that everything is different for everyone, right? I might look at a client and they have all these black, jagged lines and I might think, oh, this person’s in pain, and then I say, tell me about these black, jagged lines.

And then they say, this is my power. I feel it in my core, and this is what helps me get through the day. So we have to be careful that we’re not. Doing any kind of like cookie cutter interpretations just to really leave it open, because that’s where the the mystery doors open. We just wanna follow, in, in expressive arts, we always say that the art is like the third.

So I’ve got, there’s me, there’s my client, and then there’s this other thing, which is the art. And then you add a psychedelics in. Then you add in, this person’s spirit guides and their ancestors. So it’s a whole, it’s the ultimate collaboration. So you’re, so I try to stay open to whatever is in the room.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I agree with that because for a while I was teaching people on how to smoke the tobacco ceremonially and how to interpret things that you see or feel. They always ask me like, oh, what the, what does this mean? Or My tobacco is burning black. What does that mean? Even though there are specific instructions that I guess some shamans told me, I told ’em that, you always have to ask what it means to you because you’re a psyche communicates to you through the language.

Only you can understand. It’s kinda I speak Latin and a Russian and if you can translate what I say through English. And I guess there’s, there, there are similarities with that expressive language. And of course there are some patterns, but I guess we can’t really meash them all together.

Robin Kurland: Yeah, that’s a beautiful example. I love what you said. There’s that, that there’s a special language and it sounds like you’re already doing that with these people that are coming to see you, which is wonderful.

Sam Believ: Okay, so if we can, I’d like to go back to the topic of integrating difficult experiences.

We host on average 70 people a month at our retreat, and there’s most of the time they. We do it in a very careful way, and we do have some integration con containers as well, but occasionally there are people that are maybe more sensitive or their trauma is bigger and they require a very specific post ceremony integration.

We do have some coaches we work with as well. I’ll be more than glad to add you to that list as well, but. The situation is that some people, they have a very strong experience and they experience more of a reactivations and maybe they feel a little bit disconnected. So what of course the best thing for them to do is to talk to an integration coach and integrate.

But let’s say, let’s get a hypothetical situation where they can’t afford it or they have no internet or. For some reason they cannot book a session with you and integrate with you. What do you think is the best way for those people to integrate, like those really difficult experiences where there are, let’s say re-traumatized.

There are really big trauma that came by and they are face facing that.

Robin Kurland: Wow. So what I’m hearing you say is if you have a client who has a big trauma come up and they don’t have the funds or the accessibility physical accessibility to an integration coach, is that right? Boy, that’s a tricky one, I would say to encourage them to find at least one safe person in their life.

Because when those traumas come up, it is, it beco, even though the, like I said earlier, even though the body has been carrying it for years, to see it and feel it and have it be real for the first time is like having a new, a very brand new trauma. And so just like with any trauma. You’re assessing for suicidality.

That’s a big one that I see with my clients that have, suppressed or repressed memories come up. So safety would be the number one important thing. So if they could e even if there’s like a friend in a nearby village or a nearby town, making sure that they’re not isolating would be so crucial because it can become very scary, very overwhelming.

The brain is trying to figure out wait a minute, I’ve been working so hard to keep this. Locked in your body all of these years, and now it’s like everywhere. And it’s, people start having nightmares, they start having flashbacks. All of the symptoms that come with PTSD. Finding a safe person, making sure that person is not isolating or alone.

If there’s any sort of like nearby activities like any kind of group activity that they can continue to show up for. Yeah, those are probably the biggest ones. Community and, and staying connected.

Sam Believ: So when someone goes through an experience that is so difficult and stuff came up and maybe they are a little re-traumatized, is it safe to say or is it acceptable to tell them that it’s for the better?

I know it can be difficult at the moment. You’re going through those experiences, but. The reality is that repressed trauma is coming up, and if you do it right, you’ll feel better afterwards, better than ever before.

Robin Kurland: Absolutely. And that is the truth. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, and it’s so true.

You’ve probably seen that many times. I had a repressed memory of abuse come up during a psychedelic experience with with a coach. He was present and it was absolutely terrifying. But my intention was so simple for this session. My intention was simply, I want to be able to feel love.

The people around me that love me, I can’t feel it. Something is blocked inside of me after all this work all these years. And then here it was this. Six years ago. And and it’s, my life is completely different. I’m the most free, the most joyful I’ve ever been. But man, was it dark? It was not an easy road to get here, but that was a long answer to your question.

Sam Believ: The longer and the better.

It’s almost be careful what you wish for situation with psychedelics. ’cause when people, so many times and every time we have a new group, I talk to people and I always tell them, you gotta do the work. You gotta do the work. And then, and that’s the work, 20 years of therapy, 15 years of therapy comes with 15 years of therapy emotions in a week.

And of course it’s not entirely true there because the. That simplifications of counting iOS course psych like experiences with years of therapy is not really precise. But let’s talk a little about a little bit about your own experience. So you’ve have you have battled with some addiction.

I know your favorite psychedelics are mushrooms and ketamine. And obviously at this trauma resurface talk to us about your experience, how it began maybe how your trauma was formed, your PTSD and your journey of recovery. Feel free to, this one can be a very long answer. We have

Robin Kurland: that’s.

Okay. And before I forget, I wanna circle back to the scenario that you presented me with, where if you have somebody who is unable to who has no access to integration therapy. One thing I forgot. To mention is to encourage this person to go slowly, because you probably see this a lot when people come out of psychedelic experiences.

They’re like, oh my God, I have to change everything all at once. So we have to, right psychedelics just blast through the psyche. Floods us with the 15 years of therapy. So slowing it down, and even some like gentle exercises like mindful walking meditation in the woods can be a really beautiful way to integrate.

Journaling might be a little bit scary because you don’t wanna keep retraumatizing yourself, but anything that gets them to slow down and just mimic nature. So sorry, I wanted to make sure, ’cause that’s a really great question. So with my own experience boy, oh boy, where should I start?

Yeah, I do have a history of addiction. I moved to San Francisco to start a dance company after being in a dance company and dancing for many years in Philadelphia. And I became very addicted very quickly. And, all this time, no idea that I’m carrying this trauma in my body. I had some sense just because I, even on drugs, I think I had a good relationship with my body.

I knew I was carrying something, right? The extremes of reaching for something outside of myself to numb out. I knew something was there, but it just had nothing to point to. Fast forward, of course I get help. I get clean, I get sober, which I still am by the way, and. During the journey it eventually led me to 12 step programs.

And I know a lot of people have some negative experiences or some thoughts about 12 step programs, but the 12 steps themselves are actually really spiritual. The honesty, integrity, perseverance, being of service. Willingness, faith, courage, all of these things are addressed in the 12 steps.

And so I had just finished doing a round of the 12 steps and it felt like the most powerful pre-integration for a psychedelic experience. And I had experimented with psychedelics in college. I went to college for the arts. And we didn’t have sports teams and campuses. It was like. The streets of Philadelphia were our campus, and we would’ve these big warehouse parties, and there was always, LSD and mushrooms.

So I had dabbled, but I’d never had a meaningful experience. So after I had worked this, the 12 steps this round I knew I was ready to go deeper and have this experience. And so my first meaningful experience was with mushrooms and it. It cracked me open in the most beautiful way. There were thi things that were, I almost picture it like, like dust that settles in the corner.

If you walk into an old room that you haven’t been in a long time, the windows are boarded up and there’s cobwebs everywhere. So even though I was happy, I was thriving, the mushrooms just came in and opened up the curtains and cleaned up all the dust, and I just felt the most incredible deepest love for myself, and I wept because I realized in that moment I don’t think I’ve actually ever truly loved myself before, and I’m so in love with myself now.

And I know you’re probably very familiar with this feeling, and so this cracking open and this cleaning up and this letting the light in has just completely changed my life. It changed the way I am and as with my partner and my business. And the thought of poisoning my body just does not even occur to me.

And I think that’s why I love working with psychedelics and trauma and addiction. I see people stuck in relapse. They’re chronic relapsers, they can’t stay sober. And the talk therapy and the 12 step groups I don’t believe is enough. I think we have to go deeper and go to the root and go to the wound and heal the wound because if you love yourself.

I know that sounds so simple because learning to love ourselves is quite a journey, but I do believe that there’s a link between psychedelics and long-term sobriety.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Obviously, for those who don’t know, 12 Steps is a part of the aa program. I’ll call it anonymous, and I’ve interviewed few people on the topics and what you’re saying is something is missing.

I like the joke that AA is missing one more A, which is Ayahuasca. And that could be very complete experience because if you, if I would assume if you do ayahuasca and then you do 12 steps, that could be a very powerful integration for your psychedelic experience. And people don’t know that.

The founder of aa was actually. Offering them to do LSD and and they didn’t because they thought that it’s just another substance. But I think eventually they’ll get to it. So just to throw it out there.

Robin Kurland: Yeah, and it’s interesting because I’ve also seen clients who begin to abuse psychedelics.

And so it’s not for everyone and it’s a tricky dance. I think there, there are, I know many wonderful, beautiful people. I’ve never done psychedelics and have great lives in long-term sobriety, just through 12 step in therapy. So

Sam Believ: definitely yeah. Everything is possible.

And I like to say that psychedelics is just a catalyst or it just makes everything more powerful and more and more quick. But I’m definitely convinced that it’s one of the many ways to do it. And regarding abusing psychedelics, I think definitely it is a possibility. I’ve met people that had no hundreds of ayahuasca ceremonies, but they’re still the same.

But it’s really rare, at least with ayahuasca you can abuse ketamine really easily because it’s just very pleasant. But with Ayahuasca, it’s just the process is so hard, it’s hard to abuse because of how unpleasant it is most, not most of the time, but a lot of the time. And then also what Ayahuasca does sometimes, it’s it’s self-governing in a way that if you come too often or too soon or you haven’t done the homework.

The medicine itself will be like, it happened to me once. I was going too fast, too quickly, and I just wanted everything straight away. And I was like, oh, you, why are you back so soon? You did do the homework and he gave me a terrible trip. It’s I can discipline you

Robin Kurland: instead. Do

Sam Believ: well try to use that.

It’s it’s it’s not as it’s not as pleasant.

Robin Kurland: It is very, yeah, it’s not as pleasant for sure. I appreciate you saying that.

Sam Believ: The top love

Robin Kurland: and,

Sam Believ: Oh, go ahead. Yeah tell.

Robin Kurland: I was just gonna say, that, that reminds me of, the shadow work of all of this. There’s a shadow side too.

To working with psychedelics and there’s a shadow side to integration. Which is again, why I know I keep repeating myself. We just don’t wanna do it alone.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Doug knows about shadow work. What do you know?

Robin Kurland: I love talking about, I wouldn’t say I am a shadow expert. There’s some people who are Jungian psychologists who have specifically studied shadow work in the technical sense.

But the best way to describe shadow work for people who are listening that don’t, maybe don’t know shadow is anything that got split off. And put in the closet as a way to survive. So an example would be let’s say I I’m a little girl and I get really angry and I punch something and my parent, maybe slaps me, this is hypothetical, this didn’t happen.

My parents didn’t slap me. But the, so I get slapped and somebody says, little girls. Don’t get angry and oh, I have to take my anger and I put it into the shadows. That’s how a shadow can be born. There’s also the golden shadow. So for instance, say I am a little girl and I’m just, skipping around and laughing really loudly and I get scolded.

Don’t be so loud. You’re bothering us. Oh, so my joy is too much. So I have to put that in the shadow. So anything that gets split off and shoved into the corners. Becomes, becomes our shadow. And so I see that a lot of times people with anger, men and women, both terrified of their anger, but then it ends up coming out anyway because it’s inevitable.

It’s a part of being human. And anger is a beautiful emotion. It elevates us, it energizes us, it, it directs us. But because of that experience, it gets shoved. It gets shoved into the, into the closet. And with psychedelics and psychedelic integration, I love watching people build relationships with their silliness again, or their anger again.

And to have a fuller experience as a human reminding people it’s okay to be loud, it’s okay to be angry.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I love the topic of shadow work I have even, used to give little workshops on it to the people at the retreat. Some people call ayahuasca shadow medicine because it reveals your shadow and it ties nicely to our topic about very difficult processes and integration.

Recently I had an experience with one veteran who has, through ayahuasca, discovered this shadow. And it’s basically this sort of part of him that has repressed the angry part, the aggressive part. And he when he shared that with me, obviously I’m not a therapist, I’m of very limited understanding.

I, I told them to. Try and see if you can accept that part. And so give it some love and try and tell it. Thank it for what it did. It was necessary to protect you for whatever reason was repressed. So that kind of brings me into what would you think is the best course of action for a person like this, because it is a terrifying experience to see that there is different parts of you.

And also I. No, you mentioned a few times some terminology from internal family systems, so maybe you can tie that answer to that modality.

Robin Kurland: Absolutely. Yeah, what a great question. And for sure I will. The way that I work I blend five different modalities at any given time. I call it the dance of hames, which is the Hebrew number five.

And then number five translates to freedom, curious, and change. So when you are working with a shadow, it’s, I think the, I think, sorry, let me slow down. The best part is to start with what they’re feeling in their body, and then if they could name what that part is. What is that part?

Okay. It’s my angry part. We don’t even have to get technical right away. So in IFS, we have, the manager, the firefighter, the exiled parts. We wanna kind of color outside the lines a little bit. Like maybe somebody says, this is my inner dragon, or this is my inner child. Maybe they’re not sure.

And so this is where maybe expressive arts can come in handy. Let’s stand up and show me what this part looks like. And then they can stand up and say, this part is. Angry and it wants to make, fists and grind their teeth. And by embodying that part, it allows them to get in touch with it more.

So it’s not so scary. ’cause when it’s outside of ourselves, it’s like this monster that really has control and is driving the bus, but to dialogue with it. And then, like I said, take it one step further and do the drama therapy you get to embody, which sort of softens it a little bit. And through that softening there can be integration.

Sam Believ: But basically my recommendation was somewhat correct, right? Regarding not repressing, but embodying and nor accepting the parts of ourselves.

Robin Kurland: Absolutely. Absolutely. And there’s, and all of these beautiful ways to accept, you can journal to this part, you can embody the part, you can dance with this part on the dance floor, or even just talking about it.

Something as simple as just, putting a hand on your heart and a hand on your belly with your eyes closed with a mantra. I love my anger. I accept this part, be with me today.

Sam Believ: Okay, perfect, thank you. Let’s go back and talk a little bit about expressive therapy. What is ecstatic dance?

Robin Kurland: I have to say, I really don’t know much about ecstatic dance. I’m more of a five rhythms girl, but ecstatic GaN what I do know is that, and I’ve been before, it’s just a, it’s a way to get in touch with your primal self, which I believe any form of dance can do that for us. But ecstatic dance is dancing with other people, feeding off of each other’s energy and less letting yourself be and letting yourself loose.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I’ve tried it once and I didn’t like it at all. Felt very uncomfortable.

How does one breaks dancing very funnily, and how does, how do, what do you do if you’re like, you just can’t, it is like, this is just not me.

Robin Kurland: You might be more of I am a more of a five rhythms person, so five rhythms and I, I. I don’t have them memorized, but it’s like a softer, gentler circle.

And this is something that I do on Sunday mornings when I can. The DJ is also like a therapist and there’s a wider variety of music versus just this one type of music that they do at Ecstatic Dance. Ecstatic dance is the new kids of Burning Man and five rhythms. It’s like we’re the oldies from Burning Man.

Different flavor.

Sam Believ: Gotcha. Last question Robin. What is pre-integration how it’s done and, why is it important?

Robin Kurland: Ooh, that’s a big one. Yeah. Let’s see. How much time do we have? Just a couple minutes. Pre-integration is like cleaning your house before you have company. You are inviting a powerful medicine into your psyche and into your body, and so you wanna do a little, you wanna do some work to prepare so the medicine doesn’t have to work so hard to get through all of the obstacles.

So I typically only have psychedelic experiences with my clients who have been working with me long-term. I have done short-term pre-integration before and it feels a little bit rushed and a little bit choppy because I do tend to work people with, primarily with with PTSD. And in pre-integration, really starting to give voice to what we wanna work on.

What are our traumas, what are intentions? And also taking a look at what are we already doing? What does your community look like? Are you moving your body? What kind of foods are you eating? How’s your sleep? Are you isolated? How much sunshine do you get? So there’s an assessment of the whole person. It’s this holistic view into.

Examining, who I am or who your client is. And then from there we start to, to maybe connect some dots. Bring in a little IFS, tell me about your protectors. Tell me about your managers. Tell me about your inner teenager and your inner child. The other thing that I would maybe introduce in pre-integrated that I definitely introduce, but if you’re, if you have limited time, is to any, anything that’s somatic, what’s your relationship to your body?

How are you feeling right now as we’re having this conversation? And. I think that would be a really nice way to prepare someone for a psychedelic journey if time is limited. But like I said, with the long-term pre-integration that I do I’m pulling in all of my five modalities and breaking things apart.

But it makes space to let the medicine in and do its work.

Sam Believ: Thank you Robin. Thank you for this answers and all this answer and all the previous ones. I think it was a really interesting episode. Before we wrap up please tell our listeners where they can find you and if they wanna do integration with you how they can find.

Robin Kurland: Yeah, this was so fun. Thank you. So robin kand.com is probably the best and the easiest, but you could also find me on Psychology Today, psychedelic support. And I do have an Instagram page that I’m not on there very often, and it’s psychedelic recovery, but robin curlin.com is probably the easiest.

Sam Believ: Thank you, Robin. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing with us. I’ve learned a lot and yeah you’re always welcome at Lara whenever you choose to come.

Robin Kurland: I would love that. Thank you so much for today.

Sam Believ: Thank you guys, and you were listening to Iowa Podcast as always with you Hall, Sam and I will see you in the next episode.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large. Please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté. Gabor is a renowned physician, speaker, and author best known for his groundbreaking work on trauma, addiction, child development, and the mind-body connection. His books include In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts and The Myth of Normal.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Gabor’s personal healing journey (2:00)
  • His first Ayahuasca ceremony (5:10)
  • The importance of community in healing (7:06)
  • How trauma causes the heart to close (9:00)
  • The wisdom of trauma and adaptations (12:23)
  • Modern society as a root of disconnection (15:00)
  • Accumulated trauma and “death by a thousand cuts” (20:31)
  • How Ayahuasca helps addiction by addressing pain (23:59)
  • The risk of Ayahuasca evangelism (27:11)
  • Psychedelics and facing death (28:09)
  • Parenting and emotional availability (32:10)
  • The role of play in healing (37:15)
  • Dealing with criticism and healing from not being seen (40:42)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Gabor Maté at http://www.drgabormate.com

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening

Dr. Gabor Maté: to ayahuasca podcast.com. Just a bunch of strangers come together for one evening, doesn’t do it because in the traditional arising of the Ayahuasca experience, it was done in community by people that knew each other and the shaman knew them, and it’d be integrated into the communal life wasn’t just like a one-off thing.

So I said let’s at least temporary create a community. So we’d let these retreats where people come together for a week and get to know each other. Talk about their process and set their intentions for the ceremony and the next day talk about and discover or uncover the meaning of their ICA experience and then support each other.

So I began to do that quite vigorously and I did that for quite a few years. I led retreats both in Canada and also in Mexico. So that’s how it all began. Since then, I’ve been to ceremonies where I wasn’t leading anything. I was just a participant. So I’ve had the experience both of guiding these events, but also of participating.

Sam Believ: In this very special episode of Ayahuasca podcast, I had a conversation with Gabor Mate. Gabor is a very special guest. It was always my dream to interview him. Even when I started the podcast, it was always my goal to get to the point where I can interview him. So it is a dream come true for me to have been able to have this conversation.

I really hope you will enjoy it as I, as much as I did. So there are. Hundreds of interviews with Gabor on internet. I’m sure you’ve seen some of them, or you might have seen clips. So I didn’t want to take this episode and go back into talking about his journey and his history. So I will give you. That information here in the intro.

So Gabor was born in 1944 and he grew up in Hungary and lived through Nazi occupation of Hungary. His grandparents died in Auschwitz. Then he was separated from his mother during infancy. I believe he was one month old. So there was this trauma there that later on he analyzed and learned a lot about, and that kind of guided his his journey.

After immigrating to Canada in 1956, he pursued career in medicine, focusing on family practice and palliative care. Gaur knows a lot about people dying, their last regrets addictions. He, his own addiction. So he wrote one book on a DHD which is a Scattered Mind. He wrote a book on addiction in the realm of Hungry Ghosts.

His latest book is Myth, myth of Normal, where he talks about how toxic our society is. I’ve read two of his books personally, and they are, they’re amazing. He’s known for his addiction, trauma, work, and childhood development specifically where he emphasizes on connection between early experiences in health.

He looks for the root cause and that’s what we do in our work with ayahuasca, where we find the root cause root trauma, and we tried to heal it instead of focusing on symptoms. For me personally, Gabbo was a huge influence in my own journey. I listened to his, to podcasts with him.

I read his books and through that I was educated on how to have my own personal journey with PLA medicines, how to use them properly, and also understanding addictions in, for myself and also for other people that come to the Wire and they look for relief from. From the medicine. So I used his phrases over and over again.

So this is a very special episode and I really hope you enjoy it and let me know in the comments. Here are the topics we discuss in this episode, realizing there are unresolved issues and emotional pain, discovery of ayahuasca as a healing tool. How Gabor began his healing in his forties, despite the professional success, emotional heart opening during the ceremony, insights into the root of addiction and trauma.

Importance of community and integration in plant medicine work, addiction as a response to pain, not a choice. I’ll ask his power in revealing suppressed trauma. Importance of post ceremony, integration, trauma and adaptation and survival mechanism, the wisdom of trauma. Child rearing differences in indigenous versus modern societies.

Closing of the heart due to childhood pain, and how to open your heart play as an essential for human development. I ask his ability to restore playfulness, reflection on mortality and ego death. Risk of becoming overly zealous after powerful experiences and the importance of consistency, humility, and embodied practices.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca, retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you Gabbo. Welcome to the show.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Nice to be with you. Hi son.

Sam Believ: Cover. So you’re mostly known for your books and you’re talking about trauma and childhood development.

Interestingly enough, I learned about you through Ayahuasca because it was my second ever ceremony and I was listening to Tim Ferry’s podcast with you, and I specifically looked for episodes about Ayahuasca. So you were with her, you were with me there in my ears in my very early Ayahuasca days.

So

Dr. Gabor Maté: I hope you didn’t have a brand to it.

Sam Believ: No, I had good experience, good enough, so I dedicated my life pretty much to ayahuasca. So I know it’s not your main, I know it’s not your main thing, but I do appreciate the things that you did say about it. And I know you talk about. Our society being sick and the issues with the society.

But what I do and you mentioned elders as well before. What I do like about you is you are my elder digitally, so a mother and day elder. So gbo you’re 81 years old. And I know your healing journey was long and most of it happened.

Dr. Gabor Maté: No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wasn’t was long. Is long

Sam Believ: is long. Correct. So can you talk to us about your own healing journey how it progressed and you give people hope that they can do it even later in life.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Look, I was in my mid forties early forties and. Successful as a physician and I had family, three kids, but I was not happy.

I was depressed. I had issues between me and my children, my wife and I. And it’s something that I had to recognize that there’s some stuff to deal with that just carrying on with the external activities. No longer. Guided me to where I needed to be. So that’s when I began to do some self study research, write reading into the child developmental literature, into the mental health literature, psychology.

All this corresponded the m medical practice where I increasingly saw the impact of emotions and psychological states and. Multigenerational histories on people’s functioning their health, their illness, and so on. So it’s, and it, so it’s been a long journey and at some point, fairly late in the game I discovered well discover, I found out about psychedelics including and beginning with Ayahuasca.

And so that’s contributed to my own healing process. It is been a lifetime, what can I say? Half a lifetime’s journey at least, trying to figure things out, trying to heal integrate finding inner peace. It’s an ongoing journey.

Sam Believ: So I know that I know your story about finding Ayahuasca, but can you tell our audience about that story?

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah, sure. So I published my book on addiction, which is my fourth book in 2009, in the realm of Hungry Ghosts, close to contrast with addiction. And in which I pointed out that addiction is not this disease that you inherit, nor is it a by choice that you may put actually, it’s an attempt to, so the pain imposed by Trump.

So it is a book on. My experiences personally as a physician working with a very addicted population, and also what I found out about the source of addiction in life, painful life experience. As I was doing the book tour every once in a while somebody would put their hands up and ask me, what do you know about I was on the healing of addiction.

I say Nothing. And then the next stop somebody else will put their hands up and say, what do you know about the healing? Addiction and I ask, I’d say nothing. And after a while I got tired of the question because I thought frustrated with this for God’s sakes. I just spent three years researching and writing this book, and you asked me about the one thing I don’t know anything about.

Leave me alone. And until finally somebody said you could experience, Hey, I was up here in Vancouver. You don’t have to go to the Amazon for it. Because there was a perian shaman visiting Vancouver, leading a ceremony, so I did participate in the ceremony. I’m always open to trying new things, and about 45 minutes into the experience, I got it because I experienced these tears of love flowing down my cheek and such openheartedness, such as I’d never known before, and I’d realized.

How much I close my heart to protect it because it was vulnerable and hurting when I was small. And I’ve been walking around with a closed heart. Now the fact is I still do walk around with a closed heart sometimes. But I did experience that opening and I recognized why people get addicted because there’s so much pain and they try to soothe the pain and.

How much it hurts to have a heart that’s open and that’s hurt, that’s hurting at the same time, but also how beautiful it is and how if we can keep our hearts open, we don’t have to run away from anything anymore. So I immediately got the potential and I immediately said, I’m gonna start working with this stuff.

And so I did. And, what I thought. Right now, I’m not a shaman. I don’t serve the plant, you know that’s, I got no training that way at all. But I worked with people who are trained that way, and what I decided right away is that just a bunch of strangers come together for one evening, doesn’t do it because in a traditional arising of the Iowa scar.

Experience. It was done in community by people that knew each other and the shaman who knew them, and it’d be integrated into the communal life. It wasn’t just like a one-off thing. So I said let’s at least temporary create a community. So we’d let these retreats where people come together for a week and get to know each other and talk about their process and set their intentions for the ceremony and the next day.

Talk about and discover or uncover the meaning of their Iowa experience and then support each other. So I began to do that quite vigorously and I did that for quite a few years. LED retreats, both in Canada and also in Mexico. So that’s how it all began. And since then I’ve been to ceremonies where I wasn’t leading anything.

I was just a participant. I’ve done that in Columbia with maybe, and also I did in Peru at the Temple of the wave of Light. So I’ve had the experience both of guiding these events, but also participating.

Sam Believ: Thank you for sharing that. I love your story in a way how people described the calling from Ayahuasca and your calling was also very obvious and something similar happened to me.

Eventually something happens in your life for you. You find yourself in this echo chamber where everything can hear around you is just ayahuasca. And then I think that is how Ayahuasca recruits us. And yeah, I forgot about Taito. Juanito. He is actually from the same tribe as the Tata I work with.

So you mentioned that I was gonna show you how it feels to have an open heart. And it’s an interesting thing about the plant medicines that. They show you how it feels, there’s a lot of phrases like love yourself, open your heart, but it’s really hard to understand really what it means.

But but those plans, medicines can show you what it really means. But let’s say for someone who can’t have ayahuasca how does one open their heart? What does it really mean?

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah. I. For some, it’s more difficult than others. We’re basically born openhearted, so nobody has to teach a 1-year-old baby how open their hearts are totally open. And then what happens is when people are hurt, small infants or children are hurt and they can be hurt in many ways. Then.

The closing down the heart is a protective experience. It’s like you make yourself invulnerable so you don’t feel the pain, but when you make yourself invulnerable, so you don’t feel the pain, you also don’t feel the love, you also don’t feel the openness, the possibility, the belonging, the unity.

I wish I had a formula for telling people I open their hearts. There are certain practices, there’s, there’s Buddhist practices of loving kindness.

I’m not disciplined enough to have done them and also for me, they don’t work. For me it’s more recognizing where my heart is closed. And inquiring why? What am I afraid of right now? And what am I committed to? It’s usually a matter of relationship. Do I care about somebody enough to open my heart?

But for me, it’s a matter of noticing when it’s not open and being aware of that. I think that’s the key for me. It’s not, here, I can open my heart. Other people can do it. They can put their hands on their heart and open their hearts. For me, it’s a lot of effort actually.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The I think you also called, call it a dissociation.

I personally had a traumatic life’s traumatic. Childhood, early childhood. My story similar to yours, there was some abandonment involved in, what I normally describe it in the word circles that we do or where the new group comes, is that I tuned my emotional dial to zero and prevented myself from feeling good emotions, but al bad emotions, but also good emotions.

Dr. Gabor Maté: That’s right. There’s no, there’s no discrimination in pushing down. You only push 1 1, 1. You push down one thing, you’re pushing down everything else as well.

Sam Believ: Yeah. And what I’ve learned a lot from your work is that trauma that makes us do this, first of all, that it’s, there’s nothing wrong with us.

It’s a good thing. Can you talk to us about that?

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah. All the all the difficulties, challenges, addictions, afflictions, mental health issues that people are struggling with, they at a beginning somewhere. There’s nothing wrong with the individual as such. Just that they had certain experiences to which they responded in certain ways, like you and I’ve been talking about this emotional shutting down that emotional shutting down was necessary at some point because the pain was too much and you were alone with it.

It pain is not the problem being alone with the pain as a small child, that’s the problem. Life will bring pain. As the BO points out, life is suffering. Life being suffering. There’s birth, death, there’s loss, disappointment, pain is inevitable, but to be alone with the pain for a small child is unbearable.

And so that the shutting down of emotion, which is you and I talk about, is just a defense. It’s a necessary one. It helps you endure. That same defense then later on leaves you flat, depressed, disengaged, whatever it is, so there’s nothing fundamentally wrong and what you think is wrong with you actually began as an adaptation, which actually was beneficial at the time, is no longer beneficial.

But it’s not your fault and it’s not who you are. You don’t have to be identified with it. And that’s the key here. So that when I talk about the wisdom of trauma, I talk about two things. One is the shutting down and pushing down, for example. That was wise. That was what you had to do. That’s what you didn’t do it consciously, but your organism did it.

That was the wisdom of the organism. And then there’s wisdom in trauma, and that once you start to look at that and learn from it, then we can learn from our trauma. There are lots of wisdom that can flow from understanding what happened to you. I’m sure you’ve had that experience, so that trauma has got this wisdom and that both in its initial manifestation, there’s a defense against what happened to you, but also then we can learn from it as we work through it.

Sam Believ: In your book, myth of Normal, you talk about the society at large, being not perfect for our existence right now. Talk to us why there’s so much trauma, especially in the modern day and age.

Dr. Gabor Maté: So you’re on Columbia. As I was telling you, I’m just reading a book about Columbia by the Canadian anthropologist, wonderful writer, Wade Davis.

And this book Magdalena is about the river Magdalena in Columbia. And, but it’s really is an ethno ethnographic geographic botanical historical account of Columbia. And

throughout the world, indigenous people when they were living in small tribes. I’m not talking about the big civilizations early, like the Aztecs or the of the Romans and Atlanta. I’m talking about in our origins, we lived in small groups in tribes, and there was no separation between individual and the community.

There was, sense of unity, sense of belonging. People did have the individuality, but they had a deep sense of belonging and connection and also a deep sense of connection with nature. That’s how we evolved, and the human beings have been on earth for millions of years. Our own species has been there for 200,000 years and until 15,000 years ago, we all lived out in nature in small band groups and that’s our nature.

So that if you wanna study a zebra, you could conclude that a zebra is an animal that sits around the whole day or lies on the whole day. Every once in a while, gets up and eats or whatever, and then lies down again. And you’d be right if you were watching a zebra in a zoo, but you see something totally different if you saw the zebra in its natural habitat.

You saw an animal that ranges over a large area and is active, moves in herds and so on. Human beings are living in the zoo right now. We’re living in totally artificial circumstances, totally different from the environment and the social relationships in which we evolved, in which our nature was foreign.

Modern capitalist society tells us that we’re individualistic, aggressive, competitive, and selfish. And that’s the world that we live in. That goes totally contrary to our nature. It affects how we raise children. It affects everything. And so it’s a toxic culture. It’s like we’re living in a cage and we don’t know it.

It’s a cage of owned construction, but we don’t know that. And therefore we. Behave in disturbed ways. So that’s what I mean by a toxic culture. And our needs are not met. And the needs of children for belonging, for unconditional acceptance. There’s a book called The Continuum Concept. It was an American writer visiting a jungle tribe in Venezuela in the 1980s or seventies.

Boy, they raised children so beautifully, so lovingly, so acceptingly with such freedom. With such security, with such a sense of belonging. It’s a totally different model of being a human being and how to raise our unity. You study it internationally. That’s how indigenous people raise their kids.

Very opposite to the way we raise our kids. So it’s a toxic culture that we live in. We’re living in a zoo.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it might be a golden cage and it looks really nice.

Dr. Gabor Maté: For some wait a minute. For some people it does, but even if you look at the wealthy countries, look at the rising inequality. It’s not such a beautiful cage for a lot of people.

A lot of people are right close to the poverty line or just above it. They may be a month away from financial disaster, this characterizes a lot of people in the prosperous Western world. Nevermind. Third world countries where inequality is amazing and a lot of people live in poverty and they struggle.

And so even the golden cages only golden to a fairly small percentage of the world’s population. And you and I are privileged enough to. To be not stratum, but it’s not universal.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Let’s say an illusion of golden Cage because we feel for some reason, even though most people are not happy, we feel like we’re more advanced and we’re at the next level.

I really love your way of analyzing. Our society from the past, from the tribal society. I do it a lot myself because a lot of times when things don’t make sense today, if you look at it from the point of view of tribal society a hundred thousand years ago, all of a sudden everything makes sense from dating to personal relationships and things like that.

Yeah. What you personally helped me understand is we all, we always look for a big trauma, like some event, but there is, there’s also this slow, gradual death by a thousand cuts, accumulation of trauma that nevertheless is still as traumatic.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah. So trauma as I keep emphasizing, is not what happened to you.

Trauma literally means a wound. So Thomas, what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you. But sometimes what happens to you can be dramatic, like in the case of my own infancy, being born into a Jewish family in the Second World War, living on the Nazi occupation some children are abused or hit, they witness violence in their families.

Their parents die, or they live in a home where addiction is right. These are the big T traumatic events. It doesn’t have to be that people can be wounded just when they’re not seen for who they are, when they’re not accepted, when they’re expected to suppress themselves for the sake of belonging and being accepted and when love is conditional and they’re not big events that you can delineate.

But as you say, it’s like a thousand small cuts, but it, they’re even more, they can be just as insidious. More insidious. And some that’s more difficult to deal with ’cause it’s fairly easy to remember bad things that happened. But it’s not so easy to remember all the good things that didn’t happen, but should have.

And a lot of people are hurt. So when I’ve done ICO ceremonies and. This is where the plant can be so powerful because it can guide people in the right context if the holding environment is safe enough. It can guide people to understand how they were hurt and what was missing for them. Sometimes people uncover major traumatic events like abuse and so on, but sometimes they just experience what it felt like to be a lonely child, not seen and not understood, and not helped.

Sam Believ: You have I hear tens and tens of stories like this every month from people just realizing that it was small things that made them who they are now. And then this heal healing that is not easy takes, it takes a very long time. So I’m curious when when you’ve learned about Ayahuasca and then you immediately saw its potential, for working with people with addiction, and I really love this phrase that you say, which is, don’t look for the substance. Look for the pain. I’ve used it hundreds of times.

Dr. Gabor Maté: I say, don’t ask why the addiction? Ask why the pain? Yeah.

Sam Believ: Okay. Don’t ask for addiction. Ask for the pain. Look for the pain.

Yeah, sorry. So it means I was using it wrong, but nevertheless it helps a lot of people that are dealing with addiction. What have you observed in, in the retreats that you help organized in people in the, in their journeys with Plat medicines and addiction specifically?

Dr. Gabor Maté: When I first began to work with Ayahuasca.

I had the enthusiasm of a convert, and converts are very often, very enthusiastic. They think they’ve found the answer, and it’s more complex and subtle than that.

But the reason I always can help addiction is because it helps to heal. The trauma under lies, the addiction. So don’t ask why the addiction has, why the pain people can find their pain. And people can also, that be, that they’ve been running away from through the addiction. People can also find that wholeness in themselves, which teaches them that they don’t have to keep running.

So that’s all true, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Now some people, I’ve seen them give up alcohol or give up cigarettes or whatever You, even after a couple of I experiences,

the problem is. But these lessons, for the most part, have to be integrated. And what happens is people come to an Iowa school retreat, they have these door opening, eye opening transformative visions, but then they go back to their lives and all the same influences and relationships and circumstances, which they knew before.

People do have a tendency to revert back to their habitual way of being. So the plans can open up the door, they can give you the vision of where to go, but you have to go there yourself. And I’ve seen both success and I’ve seen lack of success depending on how much consistency and support and ongoing.

Work that person was willing to and capable of doing. Having said that, is still way more powerful than anything Western Medicine has to offer. But I mean by far, for people that are on opiate addiction I’ve seen people have visions when they were on opiates. Like they’re on methadone, for example, and they understand things, but.

It doesn’t change their habit because they have a deep dependence. Chemically iwco can’t change that. Iboga another psychedelic from Africa that can change the opiate dependence. Iwco can’t.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I’ve heard good things about Ibogaine and very strong addiction specifically. And regarding the zealously phase where.

After your first few experiences, you’re so passionate about it. That I have, I’ve also went through this phase and I warn people when they leave the retreat to, to be careful with it because you don’t wanna lose friends over it. And you definitely need to do work without, ’cause as I like to say, you gotta meet it halfway because it will show you what needs to be done, but you’re the only one that can do, they can do the actual work.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah. And don’t become an evangelist, do your work first and integrate it into your life, and then your friends will wanna know what you did, but don’t come back as an evangelist. And I’ve seen a bit of, too much of ayahuasca evangelism, or psychedelic evangelism. And what I’ve also seen is some people get too hung up on the experience itself rather than the meaning of the experience for their lives.

So that. Like with every, like with any modality, their beauties and possibilities, but there’s also hazards.

Sam Believ: Yeah. You say if you can face death, you can face life. And I wanna talk a little bit about your experiences in palliative care, your own aging, and how you view it. And also.

Taking it to ayahuasca, how does experiencing death, even through psychedelics, can help you experience life better?

Dr. Gabor Maté: Some people have experienced what’s called an ego death through psychedelics, which is like a complete disidentification with the form that you are and with the history that you’ve had, and you just evaporate as a separate identity. I have not had that experience. I think I’ve held on too much.

Like I, I have a very strong stick skull and it’s hard to break through it. In my, in the middle of normal, my book that you mentioned, I do talk about a deep, I always have experience I had, but I wouldn’t say I was an ego death. People have that ego that sometimes through spiritual experiences without psychedelics, mystics.

Sophie is Christian, Jewish, Hindu mystics, Buddhists, they’ve had those direct experiences forever. I haven’t, I’m sure I’d be very terrified of it if it came up. I’m sure it would also be wonderful if I have had the experience, but I haven’t in terms of death, i’m 81 now. If I’m lucky, what have I got left Another 10 years.

If I’m lucky, healthy years, which is by far from guaranteed. I know people my age who are dying or are no longer alive, and I know people all the time who are facing. The end of their existence as we in this form anyway. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Like I can tell myself that I understand it and it’s inevitable it’s gonna happen and it happens to everybody.

And so what? But emotionally, I’ll have to find out. So I don’t know what I don’t know that any belief I have about death right now. It’s actually an accurate representation of where I’m at, because the truth of it is in the deepest emotional level. Can I let go? Am I willing to accept that I won’t exist anymore?

I don’t know. I don’t know about that one. I’ll have to come back after I die and let you know how it went from

Sam Believ: Yeah, that would be a great interview. Finding someone after me.

Dr. Gabor Maté: Yeah. No, that’d be a great interview. You’re right.

Sam Believ: Yeah. If I might say that hopefully I can live to even be 81 if I’m lucky.

And then if I would love to have your mental capacity. ’cause I’ve listened to, in preparation to this episode, I’ve listened to seven different podcasts with you and you’re very sharp and very very ready to answer things.

Dr. Gabor Maté: For a very my age.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Another thing I noticed is sometimes in, in your interviews you analyze the hosts emotional situation and you give them very valuable advice. So I have few cases for you with myself specifically. One is you talked about, you, yourself not knowing how to play with your kids and you were waiting for them to develop verbally.

And it hit me really hard because that’s exactly my case. So I have three very young children, four and a half, three and seven months, and I realized that I’m waiting for them and I tried to sit down and talk to them like an adult. So any advice there or any, anything I can do.

Dr. Gabor Maté: There’s two things.

One is, if you’re not familiar with this book I helped to write, it’s called Hold On To Your Kids By Parents Sleep Tonight or More Than Peers. It’s not my work, it’s the work of a billion psychologist friend of mine, Gordon Neufeld. But it’s the only panting book you’ll ever left to read. Okay. I, you gotta read that book, I promise you.

And there’s another book I can recommend for you called Parenting From the Inside Out, which is by Dan Siegel, and it tells you what you can learn about yourself through your parenting.

Those are two reads that I think would really help you, but in more specifically when you talk to them like adults, and that’s what I did. You don’t see them, you’re not seeing them. You’re projecting yourself onto them.

What are you afraid of?

I’m asking you a question.

Sam Believ: It’s hard to, it’s hard to understand, but maybe there’s a part of me that, may, maybe there’s a part of me that’s like a little bit jealous that they have they have it better than me. Maybe there’s this anxiety that I feel when everything is okay, because I feel that it’s not gonna be okay if I enjoy it too much.

Dr. Gabor Maté: So first of all, I can tell you. Same thing is true for me. If you don’t know how to play with the kids, it’s ’cause you weren’t played with when you, I don’t know what your situation was, what the emotional state your mother was in, your father was in, but they didn’t know how to play with, babies play, but two months of age peekaboo, they just spontaneously do it.

So the Sunday and new experience that. You weren’t seen, so you have trouble seeing your kids just so here’s my thing, just look at them. Just really look at them and see them. Okay? No agenda. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to make anything happen. Just see them.

Sam Believ: Thank you so much. That’s a great advice.

I will definitely read the books and I will definitely,

Dr. Gabor Maté: But I have more to say,

Sam Believ: okay,

Dr. Gabor Maté: let them teach you. Let them teach you how to play. They know how to play. You don’t have to make it happen. You just have to let it happen. And thirdly those parts of you that you mentioned that might be jealous or anxious, that fear that if things are going well, they’re gonna turn badly.

That’s a memory.

That’s a memory. That’s what happened to you. You had no security. That goodness will sustain itself. When things are good, something would happen to spoil things. Now it’s true, life can bring challenges and vicissitudes, but you don’t have to sit there anticipating. It anxiously the belief that things will always go bad when they’re good.

That’s a memory, so you’re not wrong to believe it, but examine the belief. It’s not reality. Reality is, yeah, anything could happen, but in that kind of belief that you have, there’s a certainty that things will go bad, and that’s your memory. Maybe even pre-verbal memory. You do your kids a huge favor if you didn’t impose that on them.

So that’s my response to your question.

Sam Believ: Thank you, G. That’s that’s very wise and very useful for me. You touched upon the topic of play and in preparation for this podcast, I’ve actually read my first ever child’s book since I was an adult, which was Vinny Depo. Because you mentioned it several times.

So talk to us about play and then why this book specifically? Why do you mention it?

Dr. Gabor Maté: Here’s an original English edition of Juan Depo. Here’s my Hungarian chat with copy of Man Depo and it’s all about play. The whole book is about play now. It’s very interesting. Mel, the author, he wrote this book and his son was called Robin.

They didn’t have a good relationship. But Mel wrote these books about these toys that he bought for his son, the Little Tiger and the bear and the kangaroo and so whatever their actual view of this shit was, the book is all about play. A little boy playing with his animals.

And it’s written so playfully. The language is playful. It’s a, one of the funniest books you’ll ever read, and it’s as much rattles as it is for kids. At the very end of the book, Robin, the boy has to go off to school and they won’t be able to play so much, but he, it says that, but in a magic forest, in the enchanted forest, wherever they go.

A little boy and his bear will always be playing. So there’s a part of us now actually, our brains are wired for play. There’s a circuitry in our brains for play. Nature intends us to play all animals play. That’s essential for human development, for mammalian development. So bear cubs, lion cubs, puppies, kittens, rat babies, they all play.

It’s essential for health development and it’s essential for health that we play.

Our lives. So that’s why that big book means so much to me. And certainly what’s also interesting is that in the aftermath of I experience, I can get very playful, very light, maybe a disclaim experience.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Many times happens to me where I get so playful indeed that I break my own rules, like the rules that are set for the ceremony, and then I feel bad about it.

But it’s definitely, it definitely feels helpful at that moment. I have one more scenario for you that that I want your opinion on. So I run this retreat and. There’s hundred people every month that come to me and say, thank you so much, and you changed my life. And it feels extremely uncomfortable.

But when I get one, so we have 605 star reviews on Google, but I have three one star reviews. And I don’t know most of the five star reviews, but I absolutely remember all the one star reviews. So the bad, the criticism just cuts right through me and hurts me badly. But all the positive things I can’t seem to be able to feel them.

Dr. Gabor Maté: What if you didn’t take any of them personally?

They’re not about you. They’re about the experience of that person. The people with the ones to use. They didn’t have a good experience.

Do you think you can please everybody? I. But if you look at the comments on my YouTube talks, oh, I could listen to him forever. His very voice calms me down. Somebody else will write, he bores me to death. Same they’re looking at the same thing, but they’re experiencing it differently.

Secondly, because critical reviews, maybe there’s something to learn there. Maybe there’s something that you could do differently or you could be more sensitive to, or more be more aware of. Maybe with those per people you weren’t as present or as maybe something and then brought up something in you that you weren’t at your best when you’re working with them.

It’s worthwhile to investigate but not to take it personally. And that doesn’t mean it’s something about you. It’s just something that you could learn. And the final point, and then have tovo is. Your pain is that the goodness in you wasn’t seen and your attack criticized, demean, judged, and that’s where your wound is.

And that’s why when you see a negative review, it triggers that wound. So that’s a wound that can still heal

if you. I felt totally confident that you’re okay, that you’ve done your best. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you don’t succeed. But fundamentally, you’re a good person who is here to do your best and you do your best. It would mean so much to you. So somebody gives you a one star review. Okay, maybe I can learn something here.

Maybe it’s just their personality or whatever it is. But it wouldn’t get to you. The reason it gets to you is ’cause you have a wound or not being seen and not being valued, not being appreciated. So that’s something you can still do some more healing work on.

Sam Believ: Thank you Gabor. This was really great and I appreciate it a lot.

This was very valuable. And yeah, I hope you find find a way to make it here to La Wire and meet you in person. Thank you so much for this interview.

Dr. Gabor Maté: A pleasure to meet you, Sam. Take care. Bye-bye.

Sam Believ: Thank you guys for listening, as always, really the host and believe, and I will see you in the next episode.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a, like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. The WRA Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Emmy-nominated documentary director Sam Lipman-Stern. Known for HBO’s Telemarketers, Sam opens up about his journey from media burnout and antidepressant use to profound emotional transformation through Ayahuasca, which inspired their upcoming documentary.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Synchronicity and how they met
  • Initial skepticism and misconceptions about Ayahuasca
  • DMT visions and being called to the jungle
  • Stopping antidepressants and mental health struggles
  • Burnout and disillusionment with mainstream media
  • Rebranding Colombia from cocaine to Ayahuasca
  • The power of storytelling and why this documentary matters
  • Using humor and depth in the documentary
  • Ayahuasca showing childhood purpose and healing trauma
  • Emotional awareness and masculinity
  • Cultural conditioning, parenting, and emotional repression
  • Challenges of post-Ayahuasca integration
  • Sam’s daily integration routine

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Sam Lipman-Stern at @sam_lipmanstern and watch Telemarketers on HBO Max.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Go where I am now and after Ayahuasca, the one thing I noticed, I feel a lot more, I was always a guy, and I know a lot of men have this, but I was someone who pushed emotions away and ran from my emotions with everything. If my woman with life, I was family.

I was always trying to live in a, in the chill zone, and thus I labeled emotions or I ran for my emotions. I ran from emotions After Ayahuasca, I’m feeling emotions maybe for the first time, like really strongly, and I’m not running away from them. It’s a learning lesson. It’s something that I need to, that I am working on.

It’s no, you’re fucking stressed right now. That’s okay. Feel that stress. You can do things like go to the gym, do things to help alleviate that stress, but identify those emotions and don’t run away from them. I’m upset with my wife or my fiance instead of running away, talk to her.

Why are you upset about it?

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, really the whole Sam. Today I’m having a conversation with Sam Lipman, stern. Sam was a good friend of mine. We’re doing a documentary together on topic of Ayahuasca. Sam also is a Emmy nominated documentary director. We talk about Sam and his journey synchronicities that led to us meeting his initial skepticism about ayahuasca.

Cultural misconceptions about Ayahuasca, his journey on stopping antidepressants in preparation for his ayahuasca experience. We talk about his mainstream media career and burnout. Talk about rebranding Columbia from cocaine to Ayahuasca, power of storytelling, making integration, more engaging and less boring.

Dark humor and storytelling. We talk about therapy in Ayahuasca for healing trauma and depression, how Iasa gave him a name for his daughter to be born soon. Post Ayahuasca emotional vulnerability, criticism of big pharma and antidepressants. Challenging post ayahuasca integration and Sam’s daily routine to maintain his integration.

It’s a very packed episode and a very interesting one. Enjoy it. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Sam, welcome to the show.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Thank you so much for having me, my friend.

It’s great to be here.

Sam Believ: We’re recording coming to you from our new podcast studio. This is something that’s very recent that you can see in the background. You can see the Sarah Bravo Mountain. You can see La Wire Maloca, and as you, if you’re watching the show on video, you’ll be able to see some people in Maloca and some action as retreat is happening right now.

So first of all, Sam, great to have met you. You’ve been a good friend and it’s very exciting that now you came to La Wire as a patient. We’re working on this documentary, which I’m sure will be life changing and probably gonna spread the word about Ayahuasca far wide. First of all. Let’s talk about synchronicities and whether you crazy, consider our, the way we met each other as synchronicity.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yes. Yes. Synchronicities. The way we met each other was wild. It was really wild. I was doing, as you remember, I was doing a I’ve been here in Columbia four years, so that, those that don’t know I grew up in New Jersey. I lived in New York City a bunch of years. I lived in Los Angeles a bunch of years.

I met you do about what maybe was it 2021,

Sam Believ: like three years ago?

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, I think. I think so. And. We met right after I had this really powerful sweat lodge experience. Have you ever done the sweat lodge? Yep. Yeah. So where you, for people, those that don’t know you, it’s this Native American tradition. It’s practiced, I believe all over the Americas where you essentially sweat in this tiny, little, tiny little building made out of wood and covered in sacks, burlap, sacks, and you just sweat.

And it’s a pretty psychedelic experience. It can be, it’s really intense. But I, right after that experience, we met at a a little barbecue right after it where,

Sam Believ: And I just before meeting him, I also was doing San Pedro medicine. So we’re both still tripping a little bit.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah.

And we just, we and we, you were manning the barbecue and we just started talking. And the, you asked me, what do you do? And I mentioned that I was a videographer, and I remember you were totally blown away. You are like wait no, wait, are you serious? I was like yeah, I do.

I’m a video director. You’re like, I’ve been fucking manifesting. I’m video director. Like manifesting, like really putting it out there. That’s crazy that you’re a video director. And I had in my own way, been manifesting the ayahuasca experience. And when I heard of, heard that you were, that you had this retreat and and basically were an expert in ayahuasca.

We just, ever since then, we clicked and we’ve been friends. The kids are coming back our children.

Sam Believ: That’s so fun

Sam Lipman-Stern: to see. So cute. Oh my God, that’s really adorable to see our two little four year olds walking back together. That is really cute. Wow. Yeah. But yeah, man, we it’s a lot of, I feel very blessed that we met.

I don’t have a lot of, I’ve been in Columbia, since the pandemic. I don’t really have a lot of friends, and I think it’s rare when you meet friends as an adult and you really click and have a lot to, to bond over both on a friendship level, on a spiritual level.

And now this documentary that we’re working on, which is, really exciting. Yeah, in terms of synchronicity. I think we met for a reason, as to some might, that might sound crazy, but I think this is, this is an Ayahuasca podcast, so it might not sound that crazy, but I think we met for, I think we met for a reason.

Absolutely. Like I know we met for a reason actually, especially after doing ayahuasca two months ago, or a month and a half ago. Like I was told specifically that we met for a reason. The reason being to bring this documentary to the world that we’re working on right now. That sounds wild, but we are living in the wild world of ayahuasca and medicine.

Sam Believ: Let’s talk about the documentary. What made you like pretty much ever since we met? So we met at that barbecue. After both trapping, we manifested each other, interestingly enough, and then. It took me a while. We started like hanging out, but it took me a while to actually get you to drink Ayahuasca, what is what took you so long and why now after actually doing it?

You’re such a believer in it.

Sam Lipman-Stern: It’s really interesting question. So yeah, and I’m totally transparently, when we first met you, maybe a couple months after we first met, we were hanging out as friends and you’re like, dude, you should do a documentary about ayahuasca. And I was right in the middle of telemarketers, which was my last project on HBO, and I was really busy with it, but part of me was like, who’s gonna watch a documentary about ayahuasca?

Because what I knew about it was like, yeah, like kind of hippie dippy, dreadlock hippie dude in Sedona, Arizona. Just I didn’t really know much, if anything, about ayahuasca. And I thought, who, who’s really gonna watch something about it? That was my initial reaction to it. But and we just and I was also in the middle of this big project, so I was like, man, who’s gonna really watch it?

Because what I’d seen was I guess almost like perverted towards the hippie side of things, which I don’t think, which isn’t accurate. It’s just what is there coming what I see coming from the western world,

Sam Believ: the conception in the world right now about ayahuasca is totally skewed.

It’s a very weird and slightly negative connotation. It’s almost like a caricature of what it actually is. A

Sam Lipman-Stern: hundred percent. And that’s what I was thinking when you told me it. But at the same time, I had experimented with DMT starting like 2019, and I had a very clear vision before I even came to Columbia.

And I believe I filmed it. I would fill my DMT experiences and I had a, I smoked DMT and I had a very clear vision and it said, this is years before we met and the vision clear as day. A voice told me, if you wanna learn more, get off antidepressants, go to the jungle and do ayahuasca. And it was like that fucking clear dude,

Sam Believ: it would be so cool if you actually filmed it and you can find it.

Sam Lipman-Stern: I think I might have it. You still have your young face like in Oh man. I would love, yeah, that would be amazing. I think I have it. I’m gonna, I’m pretty sure I have it. Let’s hope at least I’ve on audio recording. ’cause I tend to just back everything up. But yeah man so that had happened and then I had my own, I had Why did it take so long?

I stopped the telemarketers was released. Did really well. Thank God. And then I had like some personal struggles. We were both going through some stuff at the same time, like health issues and just a lot of stress from work. And and we, and every time we’d meet up, we would speak a little bit about ayahuasca, I’d say.

And I knew what you were doing. I came and saw the retreat and it just clicked. It was like, okay, this is the time to get off antidepressants. Yeah. Which you helped me out with a lot. Microdosing the whole thing. Get off antidepressants and document the whole thing. Document me getting off antidepressants and start this journey with my good friend Sam with my good friend into this world of ayahuasca.

So it was kinda like, it went f first it was resistance off, mostly cultural resistance. Who’s gonna watch something about ayahuasca? Then it was like, okay, I need this. And it’s calling me, it’s calling me like, I need to do this. I need to do ayahuasca and I need to do this documentary.

Even though I didn’t I didn’t fully put that all together, but it just started going and then after doing it, it’s okay, yes, I was fucking called from the moment I heard that voice in California to how we met, which was crazy. Asynchronistic. I think that the plants are, I’m fully, I fully believe that the plants, that Ayahuasca wants us to do this project.

And and that we, and everything happened literally like it happened. It was meant to be like it’s wild. You saw like a hippie. I sound like a fucking hippie.

Sam Believ: You’re gonna sell me a crystal right now.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Do I actually have some crystals? If you wanna buy some?

Sam Believ: But interestingly, not.

Once again we’ve been massaging this idea for a long time. Skepticism on both sides, just kinda like keeping on a back burner. But the idea was there and then. Literally within the same week I get this weird health scare where I found out that my blood sugar was high because of all the stress.

And then you had your own health scare with the antidepressants where

Sam Lipman-Stern: They stopped working. Yeah, there was some at the same time. It was literally within a week we met up. And you told me about that. And I said, antidepressants aren’t working for me anymore.

Sam Believ: And basically it was like, yeah let’s just do it now we’re gonna finally do it.

Which is interesting. Like why was it so synchronous? ’cause I haven’t had any issues three years after that, before that, and neither have you. It was kinda like we had to meet up and cry about it. And then somehow, yeah, it’s just there, there’s this weird pattern behind everything.

Which becomes more clear once you start drinking at was, it’s like all of a sudden. You stop worrying about oh, let’s, there’s this thing that I need to do and if I don’t push for it, it will never happen. And instead you change to it’s like you float the idea out there in the cosmos and then eventually when the time is right, it would just all falls in place.

And it’s an interesting all view, but let’s talk a little bit about your, why were you so stressed and the whole film industry. It’s a good, and how, really good question, how film industry and just world in general these days is just so conducive to stress and depression.

Sam Lipman-Stern: So I I’ve been working in the documentary world for like full-time at major media companies since 2010, let’s say. So that’s 15 years. I started out at Vice when Vice was like, that they were huge. They were huge. They were the biggest media company for documentaries at the time. I learned a lot of vice.

Then from Vice, I went on and worked at Rolling Stone Magazine, which is also like major media company, but also like a cutting edge media company. And then Rolling Stone Magazine. My last job was 2016. So I’ve been boss Free Boss boss free since 2016, which I’m very proud of. But I continued to working for major media companies.

The thing about. The media industry and what I learned. So I, okay, 2016, I was working at Rolling Stone. It was during the Trump’s first election, and that was the last time I watched the news. Remember I tell you that sometimes I’m like, I don’t watch the news and it sometimes it sounds crazy.

I’m like, they’re like, you don’t know about the fucking tornado that just hit and killed a million people in Tanzania. Or I’m like, I have no idea. Unless someone tells. So I stopped watching the news in 2016 because I worked at Rolling Stone Magazine and even Rolling Stone, which is considered maybe a cool company, but I saw what they were doing on the inside and how the sausages are made in the media world.

And it’s all that the media companies care about is clicks and dollars. That’s all they care about, right? It’s all about views. It’s what is gonna get us the most views? It’s all it does. It doesn’t matter anything more. For example, and I’m not talking politics here, but when, during that 20 15, 20 16 Trump election, it was Trump versus Bernie Trump versus Hillary Clinton.

Bernie Sanders was like a really popular candidate as well. The media in the United States gave Trump 90% more coverage then both Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton. So they were all just focusing on the Trump circus. Again, I actually, I got to interview Trump, which was actually cool out of that whole thing.

But the reason why the media gave him so much coverage is ’cause he is fucking interesting. He’s a character, he is a circus. He’s he’s always, he knows how to work the media. But they aren’t, the media isn’t covering stories for any type of responsible journalism. Like journalism is unfortunately very much dying.

Maybe the journalism existed at some point, but what I saw was just click bait, at Rolling Stone, how do we make clickbait? How do we make clickbait? How do we get people to click? Eyeballs? Eyeballs. Eyeballs. I was listening to a lot of podcasts during those times, right? Like Joe Rogan, I love Joe Rogan podcast.

And I remember I pitched an idea for a podcast to Rolling Stone, and they’re like, nobody has attention spans anymore in 2015. Everyone, no, you have to think Cat videos 15 second hits, 15 second hits. And I’m like, here, me and my friends are listening to two, three hour, four hour podcasts.

And they’re talking about, no, no one has attention spans. That’s a long basically the idea, what I saw from the inside is that most major media companies only care about the bottom line. And how do we get people to watch the, through the commercial break? How do we hook them? That’s why you see on the 10 o’clock news in the United States, death, fire, murder, baby da dead, and some kittens.

But that’s all so unfortunately so yeah. So that’s basically what I saw and that’s still where we’re at. It’s even gotten worse to this day in terms of where I’m at. So I’m a documentary filmmaker. I love documentary. My goal and my dream has always been try to make the world a better place.

Tell stories to wake people up, to teach people something. And that’s what you’ll see in my work, being that an artist and being someone that wants to make projects that change the world is really fucking hard. Because the philosophy at most of the major networks not to name names, but let’s just think all the networks, all the platforms is mostly the same perspective that I just said.

It’s how do we get people to watch through the commercial, or how do we get subscribers? Women like murder documentaries. It’s, it is what they’ve, women in America love their murder documentaries. Shout out to all the women not just in America. Okay.

Sam Believ: My wife watches the stuff as all. Yeah. So does mine.

Sam Lipman-Stern: They loved

Sam Believ: it. I’m against it. I was like, why are you traumatizing yourself?

Sam Lipman-Stern: And I’m not. We’re not putting down women out there. Look, men love other shit. That sucks too. Whatever. Most networks, what they’re telling me right now and over the last couple years is even after telemarketers did great, I’d go into these meetings at major networks with the executives and, oh, we love telemarketers so much.

It was so good. We would’ve totally bought telemarketers. Oh, thank you so much. What do you And I asked them, what are you guys looking for now? And they’re like, murder documentaries. Yeah. We’re just buying murder. That’s it. Just murder. Oh yeah. But we’re not looking for the serial killers anymore.

Like we don’t want the John Wayne Gacys. That’s already been, that’s already been done. Been there, done that. We want the micro murders, like the little, like the little, the Mississippi murder or murder abroad. If you can get, bring us a murder documentary, we’ll buy it. And that’s the conversation.

So what is that? You have to like, where, what does that It’s it’s the same reason why you see a Million Spider-Man movies or the million action movies. It’s because, they’re thinking a lot. These executives are scared to lose their jobs and so they don’t want to take risks. So for someone like me, it’s always, okay, how do I align with myself with the few they exist, the few people that think deeper than just murder documentaries that exist in the media landscape.

And in order to bring projects that are more diverse and more interesting, like this Ayahuasca project, sell, if we could bring some murder into this, we’d be good. But

Sam Believ: how are you gonna change the world if you talk about murder all the time or yeah, you’re gonna change the world, but not you’re making

Sam Lipman-Stern: it a, you’re making, it’s

Sam Believ: the

Sam Lipman-Stern: problem.

Sam Believ: Four women, it’s evil man, four women, just scared to shreds in this scary world, watching murder documentaries. Like, how are you gonna, yeah. So I can see why that could make you depressed. I was

Sam Lipman-Stern: partially depressed because, here I had an Emmy nomination. I was at the highest point in my career and I was getting all these meetings at all the networks.

And I have great ideas, that actually are, really pure documentary ideas like this one, which I think this one is, in my opinion, this is one of the most important documentaries for mankind. And so I was going to these networks and being like, what are you guys looking for? And they’re telling me, we’re just buying murder right now.

So that was part of what brought me to the, to doing Ayahuasca was like, what is my purpose as a filmmaker in a world where, I’m the still an outsider, even though I have the Emmy nomination, I have the most viewed documentary on HBO. So I’m like, really? I got really high in my career, but it’s always gonna be a fight.

And I think it’s, I think it’s a fight a kind of good against evil fight. It’s a murder is what sex was in the nineties. There was all these TV shows, like Real Sex and sex. And I, I love sex. Sex is great. We need sex. It’s awesome. But when you I love murder.

It’s, I love murder sex. Yeah, murder when it’s. You know what? Everything’s balanced. We talked about, we’ve talked about balance a lot, I think in, in, in our conversations. And I think and in storytelling, there needs to be balance. It can’t be all murder. And if it is, then these networks are really doing something evil.

Yeah. And people are gonna lose interest. That’s why we have this platform. We have YouTube, we have podcasts. Why, these networks are going to kill themselves. They’re gonna murder themselves if they don’t take risks on things. They took a risk on telemarketers and it got an Emmy nomination and it got most viewed doc and all these awards.

It’s all about taking risks, just like everything great in life.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Let’s help those networks.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah.

Sam Believ: I’m Netflix. If you’re listening. Netflix did a lot of harm to Columbia by producing narcos. It was 30 years ago. Let it go. Why are you still talking about it? But they popularize it. Some people think that what they’re watching on Netflix is happening right now.

So Netflix has to pick up this documentary because here we’re gonna make an attempt to rebrand Columbia from cocaine to but you said, this documentary is very important. It’s gonna change the lives. I totally agree with you. Why does the world deserve to know about ayahuasca?

Sam Lipman-Stern: It’s so interesting, the world.

So what I, what I. I didn’t, as we’ve been making this documentary, I, one of the things that was important to me, it’s just my personal style, is I didn’t want to do any research before we filmed. So I really didn’t. And I just learned as we went along, as we went to the Amazon, as we interviewed the shamans, as we interviewed suicidal police officers here, or we interviewed just all sorts of people interviewing you, interviewing the Titus, father interviewing all kinds of people, right?

Which we’ve, which we’ve done, I learned along the way. So if you would’ve asked me, why is this project important before Ayahuasca, I would’ve given you a different answer. Before actually doing ayahuasca. What I, after doing, I I, so before doing Ayahuasca, it’s okay, this is a really interesting story.

From what I’ve seen out there, it hasn’t been done well the doc, a documentary about iWatch. There’s tons of stuff that exists on YouTube. I’ve watched it, I’ve watched a lot of it. Just unfortunately, I, it’s not done for in my, the way that I would want to see a documentary done. It hasn’t been done well, they fucking suck is what I’m trying to say.

And not everybody, I’m sure one of you guys out there has a good one. But first, if pre-do Ayahuasca, my thought was, this is an interesting story because it hasn’t been done before. It hasn’t, there hasn’t been a, it hasn’t been a very in-depth documentary exploring ayahuasca as I got to know, the characters getting to know you.

Your story is very interesting. That’s one of the reasons why I was drawn to it. I think your story of coming from coming from Latvia, having a very going down a pa going down a path of a successful path as an engineer, but. Where you could have just lived a very comfortable, normal life, but then being like, this isn’t for me.

And then traveling the world, finding ayahuasca, building this retreat, to me that’s very, and then having the goal of trying to turn Columbia, where most people to this day, when I tell them I live in Columbia, they say, isn’t it dangerous Pablo Escobar? So for your goal to be let’s

Sam Believ: dangerous Pablo Escobar, cocaine cartel, dude, let’s do every fucking

Sam Lipman-Stern: time, bro.

Sam Believ: Maybe if you’re lucky. Coffee.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Coffee. Maybe if you’re lucky. So for your goal, when I heard it, of trying to turn Columbia from being known for cocaine and violence to ayahuasca and plant medicine, I thought that’s incredible. That’s

Sam Believ: and nature and natural beauty.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Exactly.

Sam Believ: And good people.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, totally, man. So first Wa was, okay, this is an interesting story. What is Ayahuasca? I’m meeting all these interesting characters like yourself, like the shaman, like some of the people at the retreat. Let’s do a great documentary about ayahuasca. I didn’t know what ayahuasca really was. I knew it was some kind of a psychedelic that healed people.

And I heard, wow, there are these life transforming experiences, but I didn’t know because you can’t really know until you try it after trying it. It was a whole that thing, man. After trying it, the medicine literally told me, and if I don’t know how you describe, is it gods that I was speaking to?

Was it angels? Was it plants? Was it grandmother? Was it a combination of those things? Maybe let’s just say Gods or angels. The gods told me. We called you here. Thank you for coming. We were the ones that said, go to the fucking jungle and do ayahuasca. Get off antidepressants. Now you’re here. Thank you for coming.

We brought you here for a purpose. Your documentary has been blessed. You need to do it. We brought you here to make this documentary so that we can spread the word about ayahuasca because it’s the thing that’s going to save humanity and planet earth. We need more people to hear about this. And my ego, it’s it’s hard to sell a documentary right now, like literally speaking to these gods.

Netflix is buying murder. They’re like, shut the fuck up, Sam. We brought you here for a reason. The documentary’s blessed. We want you to make this so that more people can just get those seeds. It’s about putting those seeds, right? What makes it, and yeah, man. So that would iowa.

Literally the medicine said, we brought you here for a reason. And how can you fucking refer? I’m such a logical dude, right? I’m not. I was, we have very similar stories. I was an atheist as a kid, teenager into my twenties. I was agnostic. I don’t know, maybe, I don’t know. I have, my philosophy was always, I don’t believe in God.

’cause I can’t see God. It I’m always someone, I have to see it. I have to hear it. After doing ayahuasca, I’m like, I’m a believer. I’m a believer ’cause I saw God, I spoke to God, or whatever you want to call it. And I’m sure there’s a lot of theories on what those beings are that you speak to. So why is this important?

I think what I was told from these beings is that this is the most important thing. Talk about fucking having a purpose. Like I, that was my big one of my questions. What is my purpose in filmmaking? Yo, here’s your fucking purpose. You gotta make this documentary.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I would. I would say, you sound like a crazy man.

I know nothing except if I did not believe everything you say myself. And I didn’t have a very similar message from the medicine as well. And it’s the reason I think is

what I used to think about ayahuasca and understand how people think about ayahuasca is based on, preconceived notions and stuff you hear here and there and it’s just a wrong view of ayahuasca or psychedelics at large. We’ve been programmed to see them negatively now after I’ve been running this retreat for four years and the hosted.

Thousands of people and seeing what it does to them and what it did to me. I have a totally different view of this medicine and it’s, there’s nothing more important right now than to get people to change their opinion because the difference between somebody killing themselves or in somebody living a happy life can be as simple as them doing an IO retreat.

I thoroughly believe that Kurt Cobain and all those famous, you know this, the solo guy from Lincoln Park.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah. If they were Bourdain was an

Sam Believ: all those amazing people that were struggling emotionally, I am hundred percent convinced. If you could give the Myas in good integration, they would still be with us.

I totally agree Percent. People like buying one way tickets here because they think if this doesn’t work, nothing else will. And they get better. They feel better. So I think that culturally. We, there’s mental health crisis and there is no solution. And Ayahuasca offers that solution. And the thing that stops people from doing it is the fear and that they just haven’t seen the other way of looking at it.

And if we can take them through this journey of them first seeing this documentary, I’m gonna watch this because I wanna see the happy, crazy hippies and just Yeah. Laugh at them. Yeah. And take them through the journey till in the end where they’re like, oh my God, I might actually need this stuff.

And then we can save them. And I believe Save the World is all because we’re, it’s almost an arms race between good and evil, where the evil is trying to destroy the world. And the good is trying to prevent it from happening. Not trying to say we’re superheroes, we’re just normal guys. But the evil is also just normal guys.

It’s just normal guys that do their job to make their wage, but they are part of something that creates a lot of harm, and we’re part of something that does the opposite. So it’s it’s very invisible, this sort of fight. We all think we’re good, so anything that I just talked about, anything you want to comment on?

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, so that was another interesting thing about the Ayahuasca, which was, it was it was showing me, and by the way, I love the crazy, so I love documentaries that feature crazy people. I love character driven stories. I’m a fucking weird dude. I’m a crazy motherfucker. I always have been. I’ve always been an outsider.

I’ve never fit in, I’ve always been a weirdo. I live in Columbia, which most people don’t, and whenever I jump on a Zoom with. Net, actually Netflix tomorrow or other companies and where do you live? Columbia. They’re like, wait, what? Live in colo. I’ve always been that dude, I’ve always been out.

I backpacked from Los Angeles to Chile for six months. So I want people to enjoy the crazy listen to this shit, or watch our documentary and see and you can judge it however you want. Like we can let, people can take it however they want. I think at people will, even those people that you know, are joking and laughing all look at those crazy people or those, hippies.

I think seeds are interesting how they grow. Just like our documentary, you put the seed into my head three years ago, Hey dude, what about doing a documentary in Ayahuasca? It’s a really interesting subject. And I was like, nah, not sure. I think it’s gonna be the same thing with this documentary that the goal is getting people to watch it.

Just getting people to watch it and the seeds will grow.

Sam Believ: It took three years for the seed to grow. Now it can take us three years to produce it. And then I’m assuming three years later, lots of people come to the Ayahuasca. So I need to get ready to build more cabins.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, more cabins. We need more cabins.

Ayahuasca showed me that it was other just really clear visions, like basically that we are all so powerful. Every person has their gift and gifts and our goal or our, what our goal on this earth should be, which we lost, like we lost a lot of knowledge at some point, maybe it was religion. Just knowledge was wiped out is what these, the medicine told me.

And our goal, our human goal is partially to find our gift, which we have and fucking and chase that motherfucker. Like really nourish that gift, whatever that gift is. And I think most part of the evil, like we’re talking about the evil, is people that are getting complacent in their jobs. So if you’re getting complacent in your job and you’re not chasing and you’re not pursuing your gift, which you have a gift, everyone has a gift.

I believe that. That’s part, it’s all part of this evil, right? It’s like the murder only watching murder documentaries on Netflix, having, being complacent in your comfortable job, which I get it. I understand. I get the idea. If some, if someone asks me should I get into filmmaking, I’d be oh, I really wanna do filmmaking.

I’m. If someone asked me if they really if they should be a filmmaker, I would say, you can’t do it for the money ’cause you’re not gonna make money for the first 10 years. It’s gotta be for the love of it.

Sam Believ: I say the same thing about people asking me about starting an IO retreat. If you’re in for money, you’re gonna lose.

Sam Lipman-Stern: You can’t. I think what the medicine was like, basically like you have a gift, your gift is filmmaking and also said you’re a warrior of light, more hippie shit. I know Crystals all that told me I was a warrior of light and I believe it. I’m like, I am a warrior of light. I always have been, I’ve always tried to make the world a better place, do good by my friends, could do good in my filmmaking.

I think there is a battle and I think Ayahuasca is on the. Whatever ayahuasca is, whatever that technology is maybe you said it might, maybe it’s a lost technology. It’s pushing us forward to get more people to find out about this because they, it’s a beacon of light and it’s so fucking crazy that we’re talking about it like this.

’cause you, you would never have, you would’ve never heard me say uttering these words. I was such a fucking skeptical. I was such a, an atheist. And then agnostic. I would’ve never, like I sound religious almost. Yeah. And I believe it.

Sam Believ: And given that you sounded even more religious right after the experience, now what, how much time has passed?

Sam Lipman-Stern: I think it’s, no, a month and a half.

Sam Believ: Month and a half. So month and a half. Yeah. It does that to you in a way. People are afraid to drink. Ow. Because they’re afraid they’re gonna lose themselves and never find, but you’re still the same person, just like. Slightly nicer, but yeah, your spiritual views can change drastically.

But let’s go back to the filming process. So yeah, there are a couple documentaries. They’re all a little boring. I know what you’re talking about. Even me, myself, ayahuasca is my life. I run an Ayahuasca retreat. I have an Ayahuasca podcast. I have filming an Ayahuasca documentary, ias, everything.

Yeah. I basically, at least for now, I’m fully dedicated to the topic of Ayahuasca. But I watch these things. I get bored. I can’t see them. I just get bored. So what are we gonna do different? Or what are we, how is it gonna be different that you just won’t be able to stop watching it?

Sam Lipman-Stern: If anyone’s, if anyone out there has seen telemarketers and if you haven’t, go check it out.

It’s on HBO Max. If someone told you should watch this documentary about telemarketers, you’d be like, hell no. I’m not watching that. That sounds so boring about telemarketing. Like something that I hate, but. I would say in a similar way, those that might run from the idea of ayahuasca because of preconceived notions are going to have an incredible ride.

They’re gonna go on a ride like a rollercoaster ride when they watch our film. And that was what we were able to do with telemarketers. We took people on this crazy like gonzo journalism, stoner comedy investigation into the police and with humor, man, that’s one of the things that, that I, if you’re not I said this about telemarketers, and I’ll say the same thing about this.

If you’re not laughing at points when you watch ias, the our documentary it shouldn’t be, I don’t think it, it’s the doc. It’s not the documentary that we discussed. I think that what’s gonna make this what. With some of the pit, some of the pitfalls of some of the other Ayahuasca documentaries.

It’s all serious. It’s all serious. It’s all leaned towards the spiritual side of things. And because of that, it’s too vanilla. It’s fuck, it’s too vanilla. It’s super they’re very vanilla, these documentaries

Sam Believ: and is so diverse and interesting.

Sam Lipman-Stern: There you go. Yeah. We don’t make vanilla documentaries over here.

So I think that what’s gonna what’s gonna make this differently is because it’s gonna be, it, pardon my language, I grew up in New Jersey, so I cursed a sailor, but it’s gonna be a fucking wild ride. And it’s gonna be funny and it’s gonna be sad. It’s gonna be deep. You’re gonna be watching me getting off of antidepressants after nine years.

A lot of people can relate to that. Hearing some of the stories in the word circles of women. A woman who is anorexic, disappearing. What Ayahuasca did for her. That was for me, that was really emotional. A police officer who’s protecting protecting this child from an abusive dad, and then he finds the abusive dad who had murdered the child, the police officer finds him and he becomes suicidal.

Remember, we, he was here during the retreat.

Sam Believ: Here’s the murder document. There’s a,

Sam Lipman-Stern: we got the murder, Netflix. No, I’m kidding. Yeah, it’s. Not funny at all. Not funny. That was but funny too. Yeah. Dark humor. Dark humor. Humor’s. Okay. We love comedy. We like humor. We want to show all the, all those levels, man.

From that, the darkness, mental health issues the comedy to the craziness yeah, it’s fucking laugh at me. I’m talking about, I learned that we’re a race of lost. Gods laugh at that. If you don’t believe it, like that’s good. Like question, question everything. I always say question everything.

Watch the journey. Get, be entertained and then learn something from it and question your own e eventually, I think people that have done it are gonna love it. People who’ve done I who have done ayahuasca are gonna love this ’cause they’re gonna learn a lot more than what they already know. One other thing I noticed from just watching interviews with celebrities that had done ayahuasca, I was like, wait a second.

They don’t seem to be explaining the experience. A lot of celebrities on YouTube. I saw oh yeah, I did it one night and I didn’t really feel that much but I think I changed me. And I’m like, no, that’s not, I think a lot of people aren’t even doing it.

Sam Believ: No, I think a lot of people do it for the bucket list.

They just drink it one night, barely feel anything, check it off the list and move on, because they’re, a lot of people are afraid to actually face what the Oscar will wanna show them.

Sam Lipman-Stern: So I think people are going to learn so much from this. There’s no, where this can also be like, not just a wild ride, a really interesting story of my, it’s my personal experience into this world that you’ve brought me into.

But but also a bible to ayahuasca. Learning about in integration, that was huge. I had no idea before we started, how much, how

Sam Believ: integration is a very. Valuable but very boring topic. So fucking boring. We

Sam Lipman-Stern: leave it

Sam Believ: till

Sam Lipman-Stern: the very end. It’s so boring, but so important.

Sam Believ: The last episode of the

Sam Lipman-Stern: last season. Yes, exactly. Integration. So important, but so boring.

Sam Believ: It’s, but it’s so important though. It’s, I think

Sam Lipman-Stern: it’s just the word

Sam Believ: integration. We need to find, we need to find, if you can find how to make integration interesting, you can make anything interesting.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Let’s do an integration course.

I think I got some ideas on the integration element.

Sam Believ: So let’s talk about humor, right? Yeah. It’s pretty funny. Just even vomiting is hilarious. Vomiting or people tripping together and just all the stories and like you filming yourself while you’re tripping.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Dude, that was so hilarious. That was so funny.

And just trying to be, I was a, I was trying to be conscious like I was directing the documentary. While tripping on Ayahuasca, and it was hilarious. It was so funny. I was also trying to be conscious of everybody else. You and I did an interview together while I’m on the ground, like liter.

I was we’d be speaking, having a deep conversation and I’d just just zone off into space. And you’re st It was, stuff like that is beautiful, man. The weirder the better.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It was a beautiful day ceremony as well. So normally they ask, people, normally ask guests about their story in the beginning what brought them to Alaska?

I wanna do it different with you. Yeah. Now closer to the end of the episode, but tell us your life story and tell us which parts Ayahuasca illuminated for you. Because there are a few moments that I remember. It was like clearly shown to you. Yeah, I think that’s a very interesting thing specifically about like you protecting that kid and then you Oh, yeah.

Realizing what would happen if you had a happy childhood.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah. So my so I grew up in New Jersey, central New Jersey, which is like one of the most, oh, pause for a sec. Oh yeah. One, yeah. So I grew up in New Jersey one of the most diverse places on planet earth in terms of human diversity. So I grew up in an apartment complex.

My parents were like hippies, Jewish hippies. So we were, yeah, we grew up in this apartment complex. So imagine, we, here we are in the middle of nature where I grew up, it was just brick buildings and your downstairs neighbor is Latvian. Your up to the right is Colombian. To the left is from Africa, like just came over.

Fleeing a civil war upstairs is Indian. And you’re just a bunch of kids playing, and it was really cool. I didn’t think about it, I just, when I was a kid, but girl, looking back on it, what an education. You’re going and eating all these different foods and going to these, into these different cultural worlds.

One of the things that, one of the things that I remembered from in the Ayahuasca experience while I was on Ayahuasca is I had a vision about growing up being maybe nine or 10 in this apartment complex in New Jersey. And I was fighting a lot, like just fighting other kids. And I started thinking, I’m like, why is Ayahuasca showing me this like really vivid visual of me beating up other children?

This is negative. I didn’t like that about myself. And Ayahuasca said, or grandmother was like, no, look, diff look, look closer what you’re doing. And I was actually beating up bullies. Def to defend smaller children that were being bullied in my neighborhood. And it was a really emotional moment for me.

I actually started crying, like out of joy and just overwhelmed because Ayahuasca was like, look what you were doing, you were literally protecting at as a fucking nine, 10-year-old kid. You’re protecting, you’re punching bullies in the face that are picking on little kids. That’s your purpose.

That’s who you are. Like, you can’t take don’t give yourself some credit. That’s what Ayahuasca was saying that’s part, all part of your purpose. Telling stories right now that are hard, that aren’t murder documentaries and pushing against the grain being a voice for the voiceless in a way, that’s doing charity like we do a lot of charity work, like you to you as well.

I never, I didn’t think about those. I never thought about that. I used to fight bullies and never was part of my consciousness until ayahuasca. And that was a really powerful moment. Also combined with El became part of my question, one of my intentions was what’s my purpose in life? And in film, I also, I used to have these dreams, man, for years before doing ayahuasca.

And they stopped after Ayahuasca where I lived in this apartment complex. And I was like 38 or 35 or 30 whatever year, adult, a grown man. And I was a loser. I never accomplished everything, anything in my life. Never accomplished anything, lived with my parents. In his apartment complex. Didn’t have a job, didn’t have a girlfriend, total loser.

Like for me, it was a nightmare to be this. And I would wake up in the morning and I had mental health issues. I was just a fuck I was fucked up and I’d have this recurring dream for years, man. And what the ayahuasca told me was, so basically there was like a really clear division in my childhood.

So growing up in this apartment complex till the age of 12 was like happy childhood. My family was whole kind of almost like a hippie, kinda like a hippie utopia in a way. It was like lots of friends. My family was great, my parents were together. When we moved outta the apartment complex, my family fell into a free fall of chaos where I no longer lived in an emotionally safe household.

And what Ayahuasca told me was. You are ha we’re healing you right now from this trauma. The reason why you have these reoccurring dreams is because of that. That was the last time you felt like safe basically in a family. There’s a very clear in those apartments. So you’re having these reoccurring dreams because a part of your subconscious is stuck there.

And you know what, it made a lot of sense at the time, and I haven’t had that dream anymore. I used to have it a lot.

Sam Believ: So in the way I was trying to show you that if everything was cool and you never had challenges, you would stay where you were and you would’ve been a loser.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Maybe. I thought of it like, I was thinking I was thinking about it like, that’s actually really interesting.

I didn’t think about it exactly like that. That makes sense too. I was thinking of it like there was just part of my subconscious that just never left those apartments. It was like I, part of me never grew,

Sam Believ: never matured, but interesting from all those angles if you analyze it, because from the point of view of like challenges, I meet a lot of people that end up on this sort of healing journey and all them have a rough story and then this story is part of who they are, because if they’ve never had that story, they would never become stronger.

That’s

Sam Lipman-Stern: a really interesting way, you just blew my mind with that perspective on it, that is a really interesting perspective as well. Like I could see that being a really interesting message

Sam Believ: because let’s say, and I’m not saying if you had the happy childhood, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you, we’re happy for you, but it is shown generally that people that have challenges then overcome them.

They, they become stronger.

Sam Lipman-Stern: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. In that case,

Sam Believ: Let’s say in hypothetical world where everything was good, you just stayed in that apartment, but there was no desire to leave it and you would just become, mama’s boy and maybe, maybe it’s a, it shows you like a par part

Sam Lipman-Stern: reality.

That’s, you know what, I think that’s really interesting. I’m gonna think more about that. And there was, and I totally agree.

Sam Believ: Oh, if you wanna get real trippy and start to feel a little panicky,

Sam Lipman-Stern: I like it. Let’s go

Sam Believ: think about that it is actually true and what you’re experiencing here is actually a dream.

Sam Lipman-Stern: I love that. I love it. I love if I start thinking the trippier the better and the panic loopy thoughts like this, I start I like it, dude. I like getting, let’s get weird, man. So that was, oh and yes. So one of the other things was, so after that, the family did get. Crazy. My parents were into polyamory and it was like a constant battle.

So my mom, it was, and my mom was the one that that brought it up. Like she wanted to be polyamorous. I don’t necessarily believe in monogamy. That’s a whole other conversation for another podcast. But when you raise children in that environment, it needs to be very mutually accepted. It needs to be like you have to raise children healthfully in a polyamorous household.

You, there’s gotta be a lot of a lot. The parents have to be on the same page. And my parents were not on the same page. And it was just it was a, it was pretty,

Sam Believ: what it’s called consensual cheating. It’s like you, it’s agreed, but it’s still cheating and there’s still resentment.

Sam Lipman-Stern: That’s what it was from my, in my household, and it was like.

My mom wanted to bring guy boyfriends back to the house, and that made, I never met any because I just stayed outta my house when that, things like that were happening. I I didn’t feel comfortable at home. Now

Sam Believ: the,

Sam Lipman-Stern: that sounds

Sam Believ: pretty traumatic. It was pretty traumatic. The pos in my household.

My dad was a cheating one.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah. My dad and my mom were both going to these like poly foods.

Sam Believ: Same story that I never, and there’s a six story that I never told anyone that still is somewhat haunting me. My mom came to drink ayahuasca here and she, after drinking Ayahuasca here with us, it was also her and my brother and my sister, and she told us that she cheated on my dad the entire time.

He still doesn’t know. He doesn’t speak English though. He’ll never find out. Wow. Wow. But it’s shook my world.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Really? Yeah.

Sam Believ: People cheat now. That’s just what it is.

Sam Lipman-Stern: That’s. So I had a non-traditional childhood, right? And I can speak about this because of healing, and I really recommend people out there do everything, go to therapy.

Some if therapy doesn’t work, if therapy works or if it doesn’t work, go do ayahuasca. Ayahuasca for me was like, so I did therapy. I wouldn’t be able to speak about my childhood with you if it wasn’t for therapy. Because before there was experiences that were like these balls of emotion that were undealt with.

And I, and therapy helped me to open up about those open up so that I wasn’t like the emotions didn’t have weight in a way, it was like, I can talk about it because it was, it’s another lifetime.

Sam Believ: It’s no longer trauma, but now it’s just a memory. It’s a memory, yeah, exactly.

So less of a, more of a memory.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Therapy helped me with that and, then ayahuasca, I feel like cleared out the cobwebs that still existed. There were still some cobwebs, there were still cobwebs and ayahuasca was like, here, we’re gonna clear out that those cobwebs that, and it’s fucking gone though.

And we’re gonna, we’re gonna not only gonna clear out the cobwebs from that past trauma, ’cause there’s always gonna be some subconscious trauma. We’re gonna clear that out and we’re going to rebuild you into the pers and show you who you are, show you, rebuild you essentially. And when I, when at the end of the Ayahuasca experience I was like, I would, I was like a newborn baby, I wrote everything down and here’s where the integration the boring part is. But I’ll just say I wrote everything down, which you guys did such a great job. I will only recommend Low Wire, by the way, to anybody that I know because I know, ’cause I’ve been through it here and I know what you guys do. So everybody that I’ve been telling about retreats, I say, you come here and it’s the only place I can recommend.

I can’t recommend anywhere else. I can only recommend here. One of the things that you guys did so well was like journaling. For example, I have this Bible from the entire experience thanks to you guys, which I wouldn’t have done. And I’m sure a lot of people don’t do it out there of every realization, every answer, including the My daughter’s name, which the, with which ayahuasca’s here’s a name.

We’re gonna, here’s a name. And and I, so in terms of the integration, I, every morning I read the list. Every single it’s so

Sam Believ: interesting because some, we have already more than 20 people that tattooed Lara as a reminder of this experience. Great. Lara logo. Yeah. Like the one on my t-shirt, the one on the micro, if I

Sam Lipman-Stern: had tattoos, I would do it too.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Like this part here, which this is Lara and but you literally got a name for your daughter from Ayahuasca and you’re gonna call your daughter Chano. Anoa. Yeah. And it has a deep meaning. It has a deep meaningly and from Hebrew as well. Yeah. But now basically every time you say her name, you’ll be able to remember.

It’s incredible, man. It’s crazy. There’s no running away from that. Unless you abandon your daughter that

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah. And that’s what’s gonna make this documentary different guys. We are not scared of dark humor.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Sam Lipman-Stern: We’re hu Laughing is good. The fuck the war on Comedy Man.

Every show at all,

Sam Believ: yeah.

Sam Lipman-Stern: But yeah man, it’s been amazing.

Sam Believ: So you you sound like you feel pretty good. So talk to us about how you felt before quitting antidepressants did this journey and how you feel now. ’cause you haven’t, you’ve been notified the depress for what, three months now

Sam Lipman-Stern: more?

Yeah. I think I got, I think the last time I took antidepressants I believe was January, early January. So we’re talking Yeah, about four months. Yeah, four months. How I felt before was. So antidepressants helped me out in a very dark time, and I don’t say don’t do antidepressants. I think antidepressants are, can be a helpful tool for a lot of people.

For me, it was a helpful tool when I got on them nine years ago, 2016. The issue is that western medicine, similarly to thinking of, we talked about media companies thinking about documentaries as just money. Western, I think the western world thinks about medicine as just money and medicine and health as money.

That’s horrible, right? After I got on antidepressants, there was no question of getting off of them. There was no, no one was asking me, Hey, do you think you might want to get off of them? This is not for the rest of your life. And that’s why would they want you to get off? They’re you’re money, man.

Money money. So things were pretty good. I was li I lived a pretty good life. Antidepressants, my, my anxiety and OCD were sp I got on antidepressants. I had, I struggled with anxiety for years, since I was a kid. General anxiety disorder. And moderate OCDI was diagnosed with moderate o obsessive compulsive disorder and therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and antidepressants helped out a lot.

Nine years later, this last October, it just seemed like the antidepressants weren’t working anymore, man. I se I felt just back in the darkness, back in the OCD and the depression and the anxiety. And there is something called re depression. Treatment resistant depression, exactly.

So right before we right before we started really getting into the filming of the documentary, I was in a somewhat of a dark place which brought me to Ayahuasca really in a big way. And then where I am, so yeah, I was in a bit of a dark place, or not a bit of a dark place.

I was in a dark place, and you’ll see that in the personal journals that I did while getting off antidepressants, which wasn’t easy, and I was really scared to get off of them. I’m like, what if I go crazy? What if I have to get back on them right away? I’ll be embarrassed. Crazy. I’m fucking insane. Listen to me.

After Ayahuasca where I am now and after Ayahuasca I’ve been off antidepressant, I’ve been off antidepressants. I, okay, so one thing I noticed, I feel a lot more, I was always, I’m guy. I know a lot of men have this, but I was someone who pushed emotions away and ran from my emotions and didn’t for a couple reasons.

I think one was that for work especially, I’m like, emotions shouldn’t live in my work is really intense and stressful and it’s but in general, I think I was with everything, with my woman, with life. I was family. I was always trying to live in a, in the chill zone and thus I labeled emotions or I ran for my emotions.

I ran from emotions After Ihu. I’m feeling emotions maybe for the first time, like really strongly, and I’m not running away from them. And it’s taking me it’s a learning lesson. It’s something that I need to, that I am working on. It’s no, you’re fucking stressed right now. That’s okay. Feel that stress.

You can do things like go to the gym, do things to help alleviate that stress, but identify those emotions and don’t run away from them. I’m upset with my wife or my fiance instead of running away, talk to her. Why are you upset about, I’m living with Emo. I’m an emotional man for the first time, dude, it’s wild.

And I think a lot of, I don’t know, I’m sure women too, but I can only speak as my experience as a man. I think a lot of men, I don’t know if a lot of men, but I’m sure, I know some of my fr male friends feel similarly.

Sam Believ: We’re also, as a person that has thousands of men share, that’s the most common thing. A lot of people come to Oscar to reconnect with their emotions.

It was my intention for at least 10 different ceremonies along the time.

Sam Lipman-Stern: There you go. Yeah. I didn’t know that. I just,

Sam Believ: I definitely was able to tune that emotional dial up.

Sam Lipman-Stern: You know what? There’s nothing wrong with emotions. Like I don’t, I think that’s part of the evil in Western society is we have, and I think it is changing, but that false idea of what’s a man like, why did I think since I was a child, it was bad to cry.

I don’t know. I fucking learned that somehow.

Sam Believ: There were these two doctors that wrote this book. Both of them never had children, but they were basically the people that taught the Western society that you should leave your kids locked in the room if they’re crying, till they stop crying. The whole sleep training.

Sam Lipman-Stern: I’ve heard about this.

Sam Believ: You should make a documentary about it. All right, let’s, it’s a true crime documentary. Yeah, because they literally destroyed several generations of humans. This is why we’re so fucked up now. It’s one of the reasons.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah. I’ll look into that

Sam Believ: because kids need to be held.

When they cry, they need to be acknowledged to be crying. And you have to like, like we, we go sleep with our kids. Till they’re about 1-year-old. And then we we can hear them anytime they wake up, we go talk to them, so it’s it’s not normal to just leave your kids cry for

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah.

So they, yeah. So you have things like that. That’s

Sam Believ: where it’s coming from. And if it if the ingrained in you that when you cry your parents get upset, then you grow up. And then, especially if you’re a boy, it’s man up.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Man up man. Yeah, man up. And dude, I cried in that. I, on all those ayahuasca ceremonies and I really wanted to, for the documentary, I knew it was important and for, it’s not like I forced it.

I fucking, I meant it. I was crying out of joy, out of sadness. Like for Mother Earth. When the shaman, when the Tata was like, I gave that speech at the end I felt like I was crying. Through, Mother Earth was like crying through me, dude. Yeah, it was. And I, and all that stuff’s entertaining, dude.

La like they, people can laugh at it. They can, I’m a little bit embarrassed about it, but it’s,

Sam Believ: if you heard yourself speak five years ago, it’s like Mother Earth crying through me.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Oh my God. Oh my God, dude, my, what is wrong with, I would’ve been like,

Sam Believ: That’s the reality. And yeah.

Yeah. You guys can, if you’re listening and you have somehow still haven’t done ayahuasca, you can, it’s one thing saying forgive yourself, love yourself. Feel the pain of others. It’s like those are just words. But if you drink Ayahuasca and you get that experience and you actually love yourself, it’s such a.

Different thing. And so it’s also like people describe all kinds of different feelings and observations. Like they, it’s a lived experience. Like for them it’s not just word. Like when you say crying for the mother earth, you felt it like it’s your reality now. And even though it sounds crazy, who cares?

Sam Lipman-Stern: It doesn’t matter. That’s the thing. And so we lost so much. And I don’t know. I think what the medicine was like saying or communicating to me was like this tech, this used to exist. Ayahuasca used to exist. It used to be part of mankind globally, and it was lost because of religions.

Think about just like the Catholic church and all the damage the Catholic church did, but all religions, if they weren’t using this medicine and they were saying a. Which that did happen when the missionaries came here and they saw Ayahuasca, and they were like, yo, what the fuck witchcraft is this?

And they try, if you’re so this was what the medicine was saying was I believe that this, that ayahuasca was part of planet Earth. It was part, it was ritual was this, ritual was part of Earth and there was some kind, there was wars and religion, and it pushed it into the

Sam Believ: exile.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Exile in the toughest place to penetrate the Amazon rainforest.

Makes sense?

And it hid there for thousands of years. And now it wants to be known again through us, dude, and through all the, and through all the other people that are trying to put it out there. It makes it, it sounds so farfetched, but it’s like the greatest story, never told.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Some people might say the desire to change the world is Jesus complex or like grandeur, but it only is a complex if you don’t achieve it. And I, he’s gonna hate, and we will make a dent. I’m sure.

Sam Lipman-Stern: One last thing I just wanted to say is like another realization that I had, and you mentioned it early on, but it really was so clear to me.

It was like, if you’re out there listening to this and you’re suicidal and this is, and you are, you’ve got your plan, like you’re going to kill yourself. And I’ve been in very dark places myself and a lot of people have been out there. But if you are suicidal and you’re listening to this and you have two options, one is to kill yourself and the other is to come here and do ayahuasca.

We need your voice here, we need your gifts. This. You’re gonna kill yourself anyway. Why not come and try Ayahuasca? It was I that kept coming to me. Dude,

Sam Believ: there’s nothing to lose. Yeah, just give it a try. If it doesn’t work, we’ll give you a money back

Sam Lipman-Stern: then. You could kill yourself afterwards if you,

Sam Believ: yeah.

Sam Lipman-Stern: And we’ll make a documentary, a murder documentary and claim the money back because you kill yourself. You’re right. But we can, and we’ll make a murder documentary for and Shelton to the Nature Street. Yeah. This is very dark. That’s very, I feel ashamed. Yeah. That’s very dark. Sorry guys. It’s a little, we went a little too dark right there.

Let’s let a light note. Let’s go dark a little bit more. Okay. More dark.

Sam Believ: What is, I ask is not all rainbows and butterflies. What’s the most. Difficult part or maybe like post-integration when you’re like, yeah, what’s the really good, smallest, difficult part?

Sam Lipman-Stern: Really good question, man. Really good question.

So yeah, ayahuasca’s not all rainbows and butterflies. What I, my dad wants to do ayahuasca, and when I told him, and he’s 76, I said, make sure you prepare yourself for the retreat. For the preparation, the retreat, and also the integration element. I think, after doing ayahuasca, I felt, first I didn’t the afterglow was like, was a few days and it was really beautiful.

But it was also scary because it felt like. I was just seeing everything for the first time. Like I had a mango juice. It was for the first time driving down the streets, first time feeling air, first time making love to your wife. Everything was the first time. And that was amazing. But I felt my okay here was here.

Now that I remember I was scared that I was manic. I’m like, oh my am I like manic depressive. I felt so good, like such a high that I was scared I was gonna crash. And the and so I think that

I think that the, the, I think the thing about the I about the, it wasn’t necessarily a crash, but I think that here’s the boring part, it’s just that you need to Neil Brennan. My good friend. Oh, not good. Yeah. Neil Brennan is co-created of the Chappelle Show. We became friends through telemarketers, through my documentary, and he’s arguably one of the best comedians ever.

Amazing writer. But he was you and Neil were my master Yodas in this experience. So Neil, we’d be texting and I was texting him while I was doing Ayahuasca here. And Neil he tried everything for his depression. Super fucking successful guy. One of the most successful people I know.

Horrible. Depression for so many years. Tried everything. Ayahuasca’s, the only thing that worked for him. And so Neil, when I was texting him about it, he’s be careful because it doesn’t last. He’s so you need to do things to integrate the experience. He’s I journal four times a day.

That’s what he told me. And I didn’t understand in the moment. ’cause I was at such a high, I actually texted every single person I knew and I was like, you gotta go do ayahuasca. That was where I was, that’s where I was at in the moment, like coming off of the Ayahuasca.

Sam Believ: That’s why normally we don’t allow people to use their phones.

Smart, smart man.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Because, yeah, and a lot of people were like, I’m never doing that. You’re fucking crazy. And other people were like, that sounds pretty cool. So I think the hardest, the transition into real life is difficult. Especially I’m a guy that luckily doesn’t have a boss, but my job is really stressful and I’m a, and my boss is a, an asshole.

I’m a fucking I’m a tough boss on myself. Here, I think going into the office, going in. So you, let’s say you do your Ayahuasca experience, then you go back into the office in New York City, like the day after. I wouldn’t recommend it. I would say take a week off and work on your integration plan. How are you gonna integrate the experience so that you don’t lose it?

For people who have done DMT out there, you smoke DMT, it lasts for five to 15 minutes and if you don’t write it down like it’s gone, like you’re not gonna remember it. I think Ayahuasca, I think that to make it last and to have a really smooth transition into back into your normal life. I was taking meetings the day after like we’re in the afterglow and I think what I would say is it, that wasn’t the right way.

I should have just, I should have gone a little slower into, back into quote unquote real life. What I’m doing now, a month and a half in, is I have this morning routine, where, and again talking about some hippie shit. But I wake up in the morning, I do a 10 minute, guided meditation.

Then I do like a 10 minute Yik breathing, like one of these Wim Hof type of things. Then I read my entire journal. All I put, I organized all the points ’cause I’m OCD. So I organized all the things I learned into a Google document, like really profound lessons. And I read ’em every morning and then I take a cold shower, then I eat breakfast, and then I work.

So I think things like that have allowed me to transition better, but it was like, I didn’t know exactly how to transition. How do you go from the most profound experience of your entire life back to the fucking office? I think that could be hard for a lot of people. And it was hard for me. It wasn’t,

Sam Believ: yeah, like in the perfect world like last month for example, after all the retreats of the month, we did an integration retreat. It was like a five day yoga, meditation, relax. And like honestly, out of 90 people who had that month, only 12 people stayed. So it’s because integration is not sexy Ayahuasca.

Sexy ayahuasca is very sexy. Sexy people don’t wanna do it. And myself included I’m kind also busy. I felt but it’s if we can get more people to do it, then it would be, ’cause for me, like I would love, I would do an integration retreat after every retreat. And so people stay, but it’s also, I would also prefer people to do a one week retreat versus a four day retreat.

The people are busy and they can tell them only can do a weekend, and it’s still better than nothing. So it’s all about this society we live in where.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Busy

Sam Believ: jobs, busy. It all puts us in an unhealthy way of living. ’cause I wish maybe post ayahuasca, imagine there is a world before ayahuasca post ayahuasca all of a sudden, hundred and 60 years from now.

It was an ayahuasca day and everyone drank ayahuasca on the same day. Let’s go. I’m, I want it to happen next day. The planet woke up and everyone was conscious and loving and we redid the civilization where money’s no longer the main priority, right? Oh, I like this. I like this. It’s called utopia.

Beautiful. But let’s say that happened and all of a sudden you can actually do stuff that doesn’t make you money, but you’re still fine. At least you’re full of purpose and you can somehow, it sounds like communism, but. I’ve,

Sam Lipman-Stern: I like where you’re going with this.

Sam Believ: I’ve been I was born in a communist country actually.

My, my birth certificate has this crescent uhhuh, certainly hammer and sickle. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I, trust me, I don’t want this to yeah. Sure. Happen again. So but figure out something new, something that works maybe with ai, blockchain, psychedelics, all mixed together. There’s some kind of like paradigm or, I like it.

It just works. I like it. Let’s say nobody needs to clean bathrooms because robots do it. Sure. But everyone can paint and they can drink psychedelics and integrate, connect with the earth. Yeah. It’ll be pretty, yeah. I fuck with pretty hippie existence, but because right now, yeah, I wanna run, I’m running a spiritual business.

I help people overcome depression. I’m a nice guy, but I need to make money. Sure, of course. Of course. Soon I have to raise the price. Sure. I pride myself into saying we are one of the most affordable trees, but it’s if I don’t have money to feed my family or to build and improve, it’s like money.

Ever second. And when you think about money or you think about business, you automatically have to be like a little greedy. ’cause you have to like every little,

Sam Lipman-Stern: I’m making 10 murder documentaries. So for everyone listening out there, besides this Ayahuasca documentary, I gotta feed my kids. So I do have 10 murder documentaries on the side, just so everybody knows.

But that’s my proof. No, I’m just kidding. But if you you know what, if somewhere proof I need, but bro, but you’re right. It’s, I’m the same, I’m in the same boat. I totally get it.

Sam Believ: Pick up a crime documentary, like a murder documentary. I’m not gonna,

Sam Lipman-Stern: you’re not gonna judge me. I know. You’re gonna make it less evil.

Thank you.

Sam Believ: Yeah. All right, cool.

Sam Lipman-Stern: But I may have to pick up, what I’m trying to say is, I get it. I may have to pick up a murder documentary. So it’s not, I gotta pay the bills too. It’s not

Sam Believ: people, I don’t think that the people, I don’t think that those they’re representatives in the pharmaceutical companies.

They go to the doctors and they say, if you sell my drugs to people and you sell, a lot of them will give you like a kickback.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, that’s, yeah, exactly.

Sam Believ: I don’t think they’re evil. They probably, their company told them that it’s a good medication. Maybe they believe in it, they need to make money.

Sure. And it’s like the system is rigged. So we need to figure out how we can serve, like how. To get to the point where being authentic and being purposeful does not go against you surviving, because if you’re just like,

Sam Lipman-Stern: yes. And it’s so interesting that you’re saying this ’cause it’s exactly what I’m trying to do with film man.

And it’s not the easy way, even Yeah. If you raise your prices a little bit, you’re still gonna be 10 times more affordable than a bunch of retreats we won’t name in Costa Rica or Mexico or in the States. You gotta, you have to, one of the things that, yeah, you have to, we live in a culture where we have to make, we have to make money.

We both have kids, we both have families and money and yeah, it’s really interesting’s. I think that there was a few different subjects one is that I don’t think we’re human beings are living the right way. No I think that the, I like business. I’ve always, I was, I always liked selling things as a kid.

I, I used to buy I used to sell fucking pipes to smoke weed when I was 13 or buy fake Rolexes in New York and sell ’em in school. I always like business, like I do like business. But I think it’s like you don’t want money to ha to, to dictate your, how, your mission, I guess you could say.

Like you don’t, and you don’t wanna hold. You want to be able to have something here that’s affordable, you’ve told me many times, so that it’s not just rich celebrities. Some of these other retreats that are spending a ton of money. You want to, you want people to be able, the people I met at your retreats are everyday people, and that’s a beautiful thing.

You’re spreading you’re spreading this experience to people, to, to everybody. I think that’s an amazing thing. And then, and the, in a similar way, it’s very similar in a similar way. I am, I could only do murder documentaries and I’d be a very fucking rich man. But I’m following, I’m following I’m following my vision.

I’m still making money from documentaries. It’s still something that helped that I got into it because it’s my passion. I could probably make more money fucking installing air conditioners in New Jersey or doing being in a mechanic or something. But, it’s interesting. And then yes nothing against mechanics, nothing against, we love mechanics.

Is there a society out there that exists? Maybe that isn’t a money hungry focused society? Yeah, there’s gotta be. And that’s another documentary series we can do. We can go and see what are other ways that different indigenous people live that have lived for thousands of years without money. You know what, how do they live?

Sam Believ: Yeah. We

Sam Lipman-Stern: got deep.

Sam Believ: For me, it’s every, everything I hear I kind viewed through Ayahuasca lens and like, how can you fix Itasca? And you see everything as a script for the future documentary. That’s because it’s your purpose. And I have mine. So we do have to wrap up. You talk very loudly and the ceremony’s about to start.

Oh yeah. But yeah. Thank you. Thank you man. Thank you for the interview. Thank you for the work. Thank you for the pat passion. Thank you for listening to me at actually doing Ayahuasca. And yeah, let’s do it.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Yeah, man. Three

Sam Believ: years from now, after we win that Emmy,

Sam Lipman-Stern: everybody out there that’s listening to this.

Yeah. Stay tuned to both Sam and my social media for just more updates on this documentary. We haven’t been posting too much about it, but we got, we’re really working hard and really excited about this one. I think it’s going to be a wild, fun ride for a lot of people, including ourselves. We’re having a blast with it.

Yeah. And thank you so much for having me here, brother. I’m glad we, so glad we met and that life is fun. People out there listening go have fun. Follow these paths. When you open yourself up and actually get in touch with some of these medicines, things start to unfold in very interesting, exciting ways.

Life is not meant to be boring. Yeah. Thank you.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we’re not here just to sleep eat and shit. There’s more to it. There’s more to it. And I ask is one of the easiest way to reconnect with that. So on that positive note, thank you Sam.

Sam Lipman-Stern: Thank you my friend. It was great. And that was a good one.

See you in the next episode. Okay, great. Thank you brother.

Sam Believ: Guys, as always, you’ve been listening to Oscar podcast, your host Sam Leave, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Enjoyed if you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Lana Rose Berger, a holistic health advocate and the founder of Conscious Concierge, a wellness service offering personalized guidance for those exploring alternative healing modalities.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

  • Lana’s journey from a high-pressure career in New York to holistic healing (1:29)
  • The role of Ayahuasca in her personal transformation (3:49)
  • Challenges of integrating Ayahuasca experiences in modern life (5:58)
  • The concept of karmic entanglements and lineage healing (17:54)
  • Responsible approaches to recommending Ayahuasca (19:58)
  • Conscious entrepreneurship and integrating spirituality in business (41:29)
  • The impact of AI on conscious living and future perspectives (46:42)
  • Common challenges faced by high achievers seeking spiritual growth (33:26)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com.

To learn more about Lana Rose Berger, visit http://www.yourconsciousconcierge.com or follow her on Instagram at @yourconsciousconcierge and TikTok at @consciousconcierge.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Lana Rose Berger: We, as a society are struggling with a true understanding of what we’re doing here on planet Earth. We are taught as a society that it’s important to make money and be successful and. Buy a home, of course have a family, which is beautiful. But there’s very specific things that we look up to as a society and when we don’t have those things there, we don’t achieve those things at a certain age.

We are, we have failed. And I think we are so disconnected from the soul and the soul’s journey and the soul’s blueprint, and we don’t have a real understanding as a society, whether that’s intentional or unintentional story for another day where to access it. We’re a soul having a human experience in a body with a mind as a tool, but we are enslaved to the mind and the mind is being programmed every single day by media and everything.

Around us. So I think inherently what the problem is we don’t know what we’re doing here. And each one of us that is so different. I believe we’re all here with our own divine mission and our own gifts, but we are disconnected from that. So when we are disconnected from that and we’re out looking for all the other things we think are gonna bring us happiness, we experience that.

Depression. And I think when we can, and what I hope to be a source for people in my guidance is reconnecting with that information within that concept and then how we do that, right? It’s all here. It’s in the heart, it’s in the body, it’s not here. And how to really find your soul’s blueprint and live.

Really courageously, I would say.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast as always. Really the whole Sam belief. Today I’m having a conversation with LADA Rose Burger.

Am I pronouncing it correctly?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah.

Sam Believ: Okay. Land Rose is. A holistic health advocate and the founder of Conscious Concierge, a wellness service that offers personalized guidance to individuals seeking alternative healing modalities.

In this episode, I talk to Lana Rose about her journey from TV and corporate life in New York to psychedelic work and helping people about her culture, shock and lifestyle shift from New York to Columbia, integration challenges and the emotional intensity post ayahuasca retreat. Karmic entanglements and ancestral healing.

Talk about contrast between spiritual awakening and modern life realities. Using ayahuasca for escapism versus true healing. Societal disconnection from purpose and soul’s blueprint, balancing material needs with spiritual calling conscious entrepreneurship, and bringing. Purpose into existing businesses and so much more.

Enjoy this episode. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Lena, welcome to the show.

Lana Rose Berger: Thank you. Thank you for having me. Wish I was there in Columbia with you, Bob.

Soon

Sam Believ: you can always come back. You should come back.

Lana Rose Berger: I’ll be there next month.

Sam Believ: So I met Land Rose at a panel that our friend and Common, and Jackie organized about what, two years ago now? It was on a topic of,

Lana Rose Berger: oh wait, two years ago,

Sam Believ: maybe a year and a half. Something like that. It was on topic of conscious entrepreneurship.

And I was there talking about Laira and Lana was talking about her business and how we can make the world a better place. Lama let’s start with your story. What brought you in this different lifestyle and alternative healing modalities?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. While I grew up in New Jersey and in my twenties I was working and living in New York City.

My dad’s from New York City, so it’s always like a second home. But in New York, I was working in television advertising. That was my career. So I worked for, all the big TV networks like CBS and Nickelodeon, and MTV and VH one, et cetera, et cetera. Univision. And that was what I was doing at that point in my life and it really fit that version of me.

And during the pandemic, I would say, was when I had the beginning of my awakening. And in New York it was the epicenter of the pandemic. So things were really intense and I was in a relationship and everything just felt like all the walls were caving in. And I started having pretty serious panic attacks and.

From a lot of things, my fear of the pandemic, my fear of the relationship the person I was dating was dealing with addiction, so it was a pretty serious subject matter to be quarantined with and I just had my breakdown at that point. And all the doctors that I was seeing were really pushing pharmaceuticals to, for me to really come back to center and calm down.

I was taking Xanax a lot and it was giving me some reprieve, but I had this intuition feeling to seek more, seek deeper understanding. So I had called a friend, Eric Nee, who was on the very first Real world, this very big show in in, in the States. And he was on his journey with Ayahuasca for 20 years.

So I called him and I was like, Hey, all these doctors are telling me to take these medications, but I’m having this intuition feeling there’s another way. What do you think? And he’s like, how soon can you get to Peru? And I was like, this was my neighbor growing up. Someone I really trusted. People definitely thought he went off the beaten path, like off, he went from Hollywood to Ayahuasca, so he was this very famous person that then was like weird and doing this drug they were saying.

So everything he said to me resonated so deeply though in my soul, like everything that he said about. Why I was experiencing what I was experiencing, how it was here to show me things, vibration, energy. I attracted this person, this thing in my life, blah, blah, blah. So long story short I went out to Columbia to clear my head a little, and when I was in Columbia, I went to Peru to go meet him, to sit with Ayahuasca.

And when I sat with the medicine, it was like the roof was blown over my head. I just realized all those intuition feelings about seeking more and seeking a deeper understanding of. Why that had happened and why I was going through it. And I had turned 30, so it was like a pretty prolific time, in a woman’s life.

And I just thought everything was ending and sitting with the medicine was like the beginning of like life part two, and so the medicine opened up a lot for me. I stopped taking the pharmaceuticals. I didn’t take any of the other ones they were suggesting me to take, which I understand why they were, I went on a deep journey from there in Columbia. I stayed there for two and a half years and went down all the different holistic modalities and that was really where I started my deeper spiritual journey.

Sam Believ: Thank you for sharing that story. So first of all, congratulations on not taking the antidepressant route and that are long, slow.

Decline and actually embracing something new and something unique. You remind me a lot of my friends, Sam Lipman who is also from New Jersey. He also worked in television, but he’s he worked at Vice and like Rolling Stones we’re doing a documentary about, I was, now he’s he’s an ab nominated documentary director and same story, medications, living in.

That part of the US specifically, it’s high rise buildings lots of noise, no nature and very go lifestyle. And a lot of people get depressed and they get put an antidepressants and then they get stuck there because it’s so hard to then quit those antidepressants.

So I’m curious. Why Columbia? Why did you go to Columbia? When you’re, when that time came? Because Columbia is not that established as Peru or Costa Rica for some reasons.

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah, it’s a really good question and it was very it divine. I was actually supposed to go to Mexico, so during the pandemic. I knew I needed to get out, right? I was dealing with that situation. So I looked up where are people working? Remote Americans, and I found this group called Wifi Tribe, and they were like remote year, similar company where everybody has their own respective job and they get together in one home, one hotel, and they work together.

I found wifi tribe and they were in Mexico at the time, and they called me and they were like, you can come for the month of February to Porto, Escondido, or Oaxaca. And I was like, okay, I just wanna be near a beach. So they’re like, great, you can go to Porto Candido on the beach two weeks before the trip is set.

And I’m like, really in a bad place? So I’m really looking forward to it. And they call me, they’re like, I’m so sorry. The wifi here is pretty bad. If you’re an entrepreneur, great. Maybe that’s okay. But if you have a corporate job, which we heard that you’re the only one here with a corporate job coming, that’s a problem, right?

And I’m like, yeah, I have client presentations with $150 million on the line. I can’t just cut out the wifi, and they didn’t even know I was going, so they’re like, the only thing we can say. ’cause I was like, I need to go on this trip. And they were like lemme call you back.

And they call me back and they’re like, lemme just found out there’s one spot opening in our other trip. And I was like, okay, where in Oaxaca? And they’re like, no, in mid Jean. And I was like, what is mid Jean? And they’re like. Columbia and I was like, is there a beach? And they’re like, not in Meine, but I promise you this will be the best decision of your life.

And I was like, F it, I’m going. So I got rerouted to Columbia, rerouted to Meine. The only thing I knew about Meine was Maluma was from there. And I loved Reone, so I was like, okay. But I was disappointed when I got there and I remember getting off the plane like, okay, I guess I’ll give this a whirl. And three years later I stayed, moved there fully and had the literally beginning of an incredible life from there.

Sam Believ: Something about Columbia, it’s the land of magical realism where even people’s perception of life sometimes seems somewhat psychedelic as I like to say. Like at Lare we have two teams, the mostly English speaking team, which is the ceremony. Team. And then the mostly Colombian speaking team, which is like cooks and hospitality department.

And I say that everything that’s in the English speaking team, everything will be on time and everything that’s with the Colombian team it might vary, might be earlier or later, because their perception of time is somewhat psychedelic and there’s just nothing you can do about it.

They’re very relaxed. Which is, there’s something we can learn from it. So I believe somewhere in between New Jersey culture or like New York culture and Columbia culture there exists this perfect way of seeing things.

Lana Rose Berger: When I first got there, I was 10 years in Manhattan, right?

Working in very corporate situations. We were on, we were prompt. And when I would get there in Columbia, I would go meet my trainer or like whatever I was doing, like to be at somewhere at a certain time and I’d show up at the gym, like specifically at that time. And it was like. I would freak out, if like somebody wasn’t there and then they didn’t do what they said and I was like, what is up with this culture?

Like I am here at 7:00 AM ready to go in a 8:00 AM meeting, and I was so rigid when I got there because I was just used to that. In New York by. By 9:00 AM you’ve had a whole morning, five, 5:00 AM you’re at Equinox, you’ve meal prepped your breakfast, you’ve gotten on the subway, you’ve fought off three homeless people.

You’ve gotten in your desk by 9:00 AM and you’re ready to give a presentation by 10. So I was like high strung when I got there. And everything about the culture taught me to slow down and just relax, be grateful, be in flow. Like it was a whole other mindset.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a, that’s a great lesson in itself.

You go to Peru, you have your first ever Ayahuasca experience. How did your, when was it, more or less, how many years ago? 20. 21. So four years ago. How did your journey go after that? From then to you? I’m assuming working with more medicine? The bird just flew into my window. Working with more medicine integrating ups and downs, the hunger steps forward 99 steps back, and talk to us about that journey and how did you stay motivated to actually not just do it for yourself, but start doing it for others?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah, it’s a good, it’s a beautiful way to put it. ’cause it is just that I think people think from the. From the work, it’s just you drink the medicine and everything’s great. It’s a process, right? And there’s somebody I love a friend of mine who she always says like, when you, your first sip of the medicine is the beginning.

It’s like the beginning of really starting to get to know yourself. And that’s exactly what it felt like when I drank the medicine in 2021. I was just like, I knew it. I knew there was so much more to life. I’ve always been very existential as a young girl, and I’ve always really thought about what we’re doing here and why are we here and what happens when we leave.

And I’ve always had that sort of matrixy lifting up the veil. So after the medicine, the veil was really lifted. And actually the first year it was challenging because I was scared. I was like, what is happening? When you, for some people when you. Awaken. It’s disorienting, right?

And so really having that support is crucial. I feel really blessed that I had some pretty key people in my life to help me through that process. When I was like really wanting to go back, I really wanted to go back to unconsciousness, to that sleeping. Soul because it was easier, it was easier to think if I just solve this problem and I get this job and I make this money and I get married and I have this house, everything’s cool.

I’ve achieved it. But once you start to peel the layer back, and for me Ayahuasca was doing that, I was like, oh man, this is a whole other thing that I didn’t expect out of life, and. It was really challenging and also it was so beautiful in the sense that I started really diving deep into spirituality, not just with the medicines with meditation, with going to different retreats.

I’ve always been very explorative and I’ve always been a person who’s a part of many groups and many people and many things. It’s really my gift is to be. Friends with so many people and in so many communities, and that was great, but that exploration was also confusing, so what I found through the journey quite often was, wow, this is so beautiful and this is so confusing.

And so at some point, when you talk about the steps forward and steps back, it’s like the medicine will show you what karmic entanglements and things you need to look at what, where areas of you that are still stuck and need to heal. So that was all coming up. Things I had. Thought that I dealt with in therapy.

I was in therapy at a very young age. My parents got divorced when I was six, and my mom was very spiritual, so she put me into therapy. So I had awareness over okay, stuff with dad, the stuff with this, but the medicine was bringing it up in a more vivid way really, so that I could really feel it.

I would say. Having the support, the right support was super crucial. And I would be very aware. I couldn’t go back to being unaware, so I would still have similar patterns. ’cause the medicine doesn’t take away the patterns, but it shows you so you can no longer hide from the pattern.

It’s like an addict sometimes that drinks the medicine and sees why they’re suffering with addiction. They can go back and get high again, but it’s not, it’s never the same as when they were unconscious. Because they know. So that’s how it was for me with my things that were, my behavioral patterns and things like that.

So yeah, I would say what I found through the whole time, the same thought I always had, was, wow, there’s so many ways to explore yourself. There’s so many modalities and teachers and healers, and how do I know? Which one is for me? How do I know if Ayahuasca is for me now, or maybe I’ve moved to a different space and now I should try this modality.

And so the core theme that was ringing in my ears was like, who’s the person I should go to for like, all of this? And so after four years of being in the journey I remember feeling like. I was constantly trying to figure out where my place was in this world. ’cause I knew from the very first sip I knew this is where I belonged.

But I knew I wasn’t a shaman. I knew I wasn’t a healer. I knew I wasn’t a practitioner. ’cause I spent a lot of time healing the body with functional medicine, naturopathic medicine. And I was like, maybe I’ll be a, but then it all hit me. I was like, this is where my zone of genius is helping people to know what’s out there, what modalities there are.

Really integrous people in this work and being like the big sister it’s okay. I know it can be scary, that we’re awakening. Let me help you and let me help you with, bring you to tools that can really support you on this journey. Because I know for me, I was scared and I was fus, and I know I was blessed with community, but it still wasn’t enough in some moments.

So that’s how I created Conscious Concierge. That’s how it came to be fruition. I felt like there was a space for that to be in the industry if you wanna call it. And I knew that was where I belonged, that as that guide through the modalities.

Sam Believ: Thank you. It’s it’s a great story. Something you said really resonates with me.

Once you go to being conscious, there is no going unconscious again, or at least it’s you can use those escaping mechanisms, but as you’re in it, you will feel even more guilt because now you know what’s happening

Lana Rose Berger: even more. That’s a great way to put it.

Sam Believ: Another thing pla medicines do for you is they open you up to the emotions.

I meet a lot of people and myself included, that have the emotional dials tuned down, close to zero. There is a better word to describe it, but it’s not my mind. Right now. And once you bring it up, you start feeling more good emotions, bad emotions. And sometimes I’m like, stuff happens and I’m in so much pain emotionally, and I’m like I just wish I was like, like I was before where I just didn’t feel anything.

And there’s also doesn’t seem to be any way back. So you mentioned something that, that I don’t know much about karmic entanglement. What is that?

Lana Rose Berger: So I really believe, and I always use different words when I describe this ’cause I’m still working out like how I would label it.

But I believe, and as I know with the work, with the medicines, a lot of the ideologies is that we have these chords connecting us to our lineage, right? And our lineage. Our ancestors come here with their missions and their hopes and their dreams and their beliefs and their pains. And when they don’t get resolved in that lifetime, I believe it gets passed to us.

And I had a lot of both sides of my lineage were a part of major history and were involved in a lot of very heavy things like murder and war and I always felt like. There was a lot to sort through there, but we all have that, we all have these different strings that are still connected to our parents and our ancestors in general.

And so I think the medicine does help shine a light. I think it’s important not to stay there too long. ’cause I think people are like, I’ve gotta clear my lineage. I gotta heal my lineage. And I think at some point too, that can be a trap and a loophole. People get stuck in. I think it’s important to.

Understand that our lineage has passed on fears desires, hopes and dreams, and we also get to resolve them in this lifetime. I feel like I’m resolving a lot for some of my ancestors, and at the same time, I think it’s important not to stay too long in those entanglements.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Thank you. And you, you can end up creating the conscious concierge, which if I understand correctly, people come to you and then you help them find different healing modalities and in, in a, in the right order. When do you normally recommend ayahuasca and to whom?

Lana Rose Berger: I never recommend ayahuasca outwardly. I only bring up plant medicine if someone brings it up to me.

That’s one thing that I’ve gotten pretty. Solid on. I really feel it should be something that somebody is called to, because as you can’t go backwards and it’s really important someone’s ready for that journey. So if someone says to me, Hey, I’ve been hearing a lot about this, or I saw, it.

You mentioned plant medicine in a podcast. Can you tell me more about it? But if someone comes to me with anxiety and depression, I really don’t ever say you should stay with ayahuasca, because I believe that’s me interfering with their own calling of the medicine. It’s the same thing with someone reaches out to you and they’re curious.

It’s like you’re sharing the message. But I have never really felt like it’s something that I should recommend. ’cause it’s. I also feel there’s a responsibility on my end to bring, to expand someone’s consciousness maybe in this lifetime. They don’t need that. They’re not here to wake up, although I do believe we’re all here to wake up, and I think we keep going into the incarnations until we are awake.

However, I think it’s important that they have something in their soul calling them to medicine.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I’m very different. I just call everyone all the time and I know they, they will not, they might not come immediately, but at least planting the seeds. Yeah I’m definitely more of a broadcasting approach.

Like I think I was, is not for everyone, but it’s almost for everyone at a certain point. But yeah, I’m, you give me a problem and I’ll tell you how to solve it with Ayahuasca, but I know that there’s other more gentle approaches.

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. I think someone has to have the right support too.

I think there’s ayahuasca’s growing popularity, so there’s a lot of people sitting and a lot of people communing with it. But we’re also not in the jungle. So like for here in Miami and in New York where I’m from the society is not set up to ha. Sit with ayahuasca and just go right back into the concrete jungle.

And I think that’s what we’re experiencing a problem too now. And I think people really need to understand that it’s a completely new way of life. I physically couldn’t live in New York after sitting with the medicine. And it’s not to say you can’t, I just think there should be some awareness of when you go through this process, a lot will change and somebody needs to be ready for that and held and supported in that transition.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a very good point because we have people coming here and now we started offering integration retreats where. After one week retreat, there is another five days of people just being here and just soft landing to reality and using different modalities to integrate their experience, which is the gold standard.

It’s amazing. People really love it and then they go back home. But in the real world, not only people don’t wanna do that. Not because they don’t want to be, because maybe they don’t know they need to, or maybe it’s expensive. Or taking a vacation that long is also difficult. Difficult. But people want to come to do four days, just do two ceremonies and he’ll immediately and never go back.

That’s the mainstream approach, and that’s kinda how we see the world in our lens right now. It’s just if you take, for example, you’ve given, you’ve been giving antidepressants, so you take them and your depression is gone. So people think if I take this medicine, my problems are gone, and then that’s it.

But it’s really hard to educate them that no, this is actually a journey that you’re beginning. It’s a very difficult one. It’s a long one. It will be absolutely the best thing to have with you. But how do you get people to do the work? Let’s talk about that and let’s talk about combining this newly found worldview while still being in us because, before the world changes and all of a sudden everyone starts drinking ayahuasca and being spiritual and doing all those things, and maybe we can have some kind of like.

Government paid ayahuasca leave every year for two weeks. How do we heal? How do we leave? Like how do you guide your patients or your customers through that?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. It is a good point ’cause we are seeing an uptick and I think that there was some stat that it was like.

A couple million people have drank. Maybe it was like 4 million people in the world have drank when a couple cat from puns and people was telling me when she first drank 20 years ago, it was like 500,000 and now it’s 4 million, something like that. I think, I am like a big safety police kind of gal.

People always make fun of me and say, you’re like the safety girl. Because I really I lived it. I lived what it can be like when it’s disorienting. And I think if we’re really in this work and we’re really about healing and humanity, we’re really okay with also talking about the truth, which is people need support on this process and people.

Just drinking the medicine and going back. Ceremony and ceremony is not guaranteeing you more consciousness. You can drink 200 cups, but that doesn’t mean you’re embodied and anchored and integrated in the learnings. And people keep going back from more instead of integrating the learnings that it’s so important or else we’re just.

It can be another escape if we don’t treat it like medicine. Anything can be medicine and anything can be not medicine. And I think the differentiator there is intentionality and usage, and I think it’s such a powerful tool. I think it’s the most ancient technology we have on planet Earth besides our, our inner intelligence system and our body, but.

I think that for me with clients, whenever they come to me and they have an interest, I always have them circle back after and give them the options of where they can get integration support. Some people, everyone’s so different. Some people have just like this incredibly, like they don’t need the support psychologically the same way other people do and other people.

They do. So I always ask people to circle back and let’s talk about what integration looks like for you. Is it working with someone somatically? Is it working with a coach, psychologically a therapist? Is it working with being more in nature? There’s so many different ways we can go about it, but I do always encourage people, especially when they’re considering going back so soon is my, my invitation would be to ask yourself like, am I looking to plant medicines the same way I was looking to SSRIs? Or antidepressants. Again, it can be a very similar thing is are we using the medicines to really go deep within, are we using the medicines to check out? And I think that is the most important conversation right now that we could have.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I’ve I’ve met lots of people that do this where they use ayahuasca as this short term relief. And I’ve done it myself to a certain extent in the very beginning where I was depressed and I would go and drink ayahuasca, go somewhere for a weekend and then feel better, and then get the breast again.

And eventually, IAS itself showed me why. And what was causing the depression then gave me the way out. So I guess I was lucky in that way where I didn’t have any integration, I didn’t have any knowledge about integration back then. I, the ceremonies I would go to, they would be like very Colombian style where you just, you show up with your own mattress and your own pillow.

You share buckets with five other people and they give you the cap and you figure it out yourself. Very set up. Rustic way of doing it, but eventually it resulted in good things for me, but I know it can also go wrong. What I do like about Ayahuasca as opposed to other psychedelics is once I was going too hard I went to the jungle for two weeks and I was drinking medicine and I was like really seeking something really hard.

I didn’t really know exactly what it was. And one of the ceremonies I asked was like, oh, you’re back so soon, I gave you homework. You didn’t do it. Like why? And they gave me a terrible trip. So there is with those medicines that do possess a very specific spirit, they do tend to also guide you.

And sometimes it’s with some tough love.

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. I took a two year break from the very first time in Peru because the, when I went back. My fifth time in Columbia, my, I really truly wanted to meet like-minded people. I didn’t really want to go sit with medicine again, but I went, ’cause I was like, I just wanna meet like-minded community.

And I had a really rough journey and I remember the medicine was like, showed me all the things I hadn’t integrated and said come back when you’re serious. Like. Why are you here? So I took two years until I, I sat back with the medicine and after two years when I sat, I went through another year sitting with the medicine.

And this last New Year’s, I was not feeling called to it. And I was like, I really wanna be with my friends. So I went and I sat with the medicine and I had the most intense, scariest, hardest thing I’ve ever experienced as a human being on planet Earth at this point in life. I knew, I was like, I knew that I didn’t need to sit with the medicine at that point, so I’m back on a break and maybe it will be two years.

I don’t know. But I just think that’s so important too, is like really only, there’s, I can help you and I can ask you questions and so can you with your people, but only you really know if you’re really called to sit with the medicine again like that for you and for people who work with the medicine.

Different. You’re a student of the medicine, right? You’re studying and you’re learning. But yeah, I think people I think it’s really important to guide people on that properly.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I personally drink ayahuasca once a month and I’ve been doing it for many years now. But it is a different journey.

I’m exploring sort of things Thatas showed me about healing. And it’s a very slow process. I definitely don’t wanna be that guy that I had a ask two months ago, and I’m a shaman now. Not that even I’m trying to become a shaman. It’s something completely different. It’s it is, but it is in that direction.

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. A lot of as the owner, it’s a huge responsibility, like a huge space holding, huge responsibility. So I totally get why you’re like, studying with the medicine.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a different, it’s a different approach when you go from being a student to trying to become a teacher in a way.

What I’m assuming you deal with a lot of people with issues, in our society is pretty sick. We, it’s interesting you said that 4 million of people, 4 million people all over the world did IAS camp as opposed to 500,000. Few years ago, and it definitely feels like it’s in, it’s increasing exponentially, which I think is a good thing if if they go to proper places, they actually know what they’re doing with their experiences.

But it’s it’s still less than half percent, it’s it’s so tiny. My dream is to have everyone drink Ayahuasca yesterday and just see what happens today. But I know we differ on, on, on that, but

Lana Rose Berger: No, I think overall I think it would be beneficial for all of society, but I have, I ha it would be wild to witness that happen.

Sam Believ: It’d be lots of work for all of the integration coaches.

Lana Rose Berger: That’s where my mind goes.

Sam Believ: But what patterns do you notice, like people you work with, what’s the most common issue? What is the, 20, 30% of people in US are depressed, anxious, what are the common patterns and common sequences you take people through in your guidance?

And then like what’s the yeah what are the things you recommend the most? How they go through it and how long does it take?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. So the first part of the question, what are the most people suffering with? I think what most people are suffering with, I tend to attract a lot of people in corporations, like the world I came from, New York, Miami, the fast lane, the high achievers executives, maybe entrepreneurs, things like that.

I think what most people are struggling with, if I had to really pinpoint what it really is, even though it comes out in different symptoms and forms. I think we as a society are struggling with a true understanding of what we’re doing here on planet Earth. Truly at its core. We are taught as a society that it’s important to make money and be successful and buy a home and of course have a family, which is beautiful.

But there’s very specific things. That we look up to as a society. And when we don’t have those things there, we don’t achieve those things at a certain age. We are, we have failed. And I think we are so disconnected from the soul and the soul’s journey and the soul’s blueprint and we don’t have a real understanding as a society, whether that’s intentional or unintentional story for another day.

Where to access it. We’re a soul, having a human experience in a body with a mind as a tool, but we are enslaved to the mind, and the mind is being programmed every single day by media and everything around us. So I think inherently what the problem is we don’t know what we’re doing here and each one of us that is so different.

I think we’re all here. I believe we’re all here with our own divine mission and our own. Gifts, but we are disconnected from that. So when we are disconnected from that and we’re out looking for all the other things we think are gonna bring us happiness, we experience that depression. And I think when we can, and what I hope to be a source for people in my guidance is reconnecting with that information within that concept, and then how we do that, right?

It’s all here. It’s in the heart. It’s in the body. It’s not here. And how to really find your soul’s blueprint and live it courageously and char, like really courageously, I would say. Be in your own path and your own lane, whatever that looks like, and really know what are the things that bring joy and happiness?

What are the things that really matter and what are we really doing here? That’s what I would say.

Sam Believ: That makes a lot of sense. I’ve heard tens and tens of different versions of that sort of truth relate to me by people after seeing it through an ayahuasca ceremony. And then sometimes they say, oh, there’s this big spaceship and we come down here to do something, and then we go back.

Sometimes we say it’s like soul or God, whatever language they use. Different people from different parts of the world. But it does seem to. Always be around that. And I do believe it now as well, that we’re not just here to eat, sleep and or create and die. It is all really hard to actually embody even in the spiritual business and living spiritual life and helping more people discover it because the society around us is, I need a car and I need to put petrol in my car, and it’s how do you talk to people once, let’s say they’re a successful CEO or a, any white collar job or entrepreneur, and they have all those things and they are, established, but they’re not happy. And then they come to you and they go through this healing journey and then all of a sudden they don’t wanna do this work anymore.

And maybe their gift is to, I don’t know, be. A light worker or something like that. Like how do they go from, what’s the transition? Have you seen anyone go through it? Or what is the what, where do we also get reasonable and say you have kids and you have to feed them like, you.

Where is the balance between what soul wants and what body wants?

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah. To answer that. I would also say, I think, yes, part of the problem is because of those things I mentioned prior. I think the other reason people are depressed and anxious is because of the, like we were talking about, those karmic entanglements like our the emotions and the things we’ve been carrying for our families for so long.

So I think the journey is both, the journey is the soul’s journey and it’s also a journey of healing. Those different parts of ourselves that have not been addressed properly, that are creating stuck energy in the body. So to an, to go back to your question it’s a very important one and one that’s very top of mind for me because as a person make who’s making a great living going from doing that to doing this and giving up the big salary and all that was not an easy journey.

People make it look super easy. I found my passion and now I’m just thriving and living my life. I was. Severely going through it when I gave up that income. And it was very challenging. And I would not recommend if somebody’s not prepared for that. And I think there’s a couple things. Your soul’s purpose may not mean you need to quit your job tomorrow and go live on an asam, my partner, he’s in, in real estate. He works in, in the Matrix, and he’s on his soul’s journey to figure that out. But he’s still working his job to feed the family and do the thing, and he’s always thinking about that with our future kids. And it’s a very, I think there’s a glamorization of the path too, of oh, we don’t need money. When we found out our soul’s journey, it’s I live in Miami, like we need money. So it’s a catch 20 too. And I think everybody’s journey with that looks different. I think if somebody wants to stay in their path, in their career and it feels supportive for them to do that or they need to, I think that there’s a lot of other things they can do to tap into things that truly light them up, like hobbies and charities and different.

Different ways of finding purpose and meaning that aren’t like leave your job. I had someone, a client recently, she’s c she’s CEO of a big, very prominent company. And she’s very high profile and she came to me she ended up sitting with plot medicine. I set her up with a private experience and she is in charge of thousands of employees, but she couldn’t function ’cause of her anxiety and she wasn’t looking to.

Go leave her job tomorrow. But she had a lot of things she had never even looked at within her lineage, her own family stuff that was really staying stuck in her body. So we worked on that and that was liberation enough for her to really be able to get back into what she was doing and release anxiety.

So I think there’s, there is the path of a lot of people sit with ayahuasca tend to wanna leave their corporate job ’cause they want meaning and purpose. I know I did. At the same time, that’s not always an option for people immediately. And it’s also not an, it doesn’t mean you have to become an entrepreneur in spiritual work.

If you sit with the medicine, everyone’s here for a completely different path. It’s just all about figuring out what’s your path.

Sam Believ: So that brings me to the topic of conscious entrepreneurship. Something that we talked about in that panel. So let’s say somebody is an entrepreneur and they’re successful.

How do they make it more conscious? What is the without like completely destroying something and quitting a career, how do, how can you make it more soulful?

Lana Rose Berger: I think it’s all about intentionality. So understanding the intention behind what you’re doing and what you’re creating, like finding ways to make things sustainable, good for the earth.

Good for people’s mental health, physical health, like different things, if you are. If you’re selling clothes and you love to sell clothes, maybe there’s a way you can look into more sustainability. You can look into the fabrics and make sure they’re really healthy substances and they’re not causing more toxins in the body.

Or you can look to be involved with a charity and really find what giving back looks like to you or what it looks like to you to be purposeful and impactful and incorporate that in your business. I think there’s, if everyone did that a little bit with their business rather than just quitting.

I think we could make this world an incredible place. I tried to do that with, in television for a while. I started feeling I don’t wanna brainwash people to buy commercials for products that aren’t healthy. I just didn’t wanna do that anymore and be part of that machine. But while I was there, I tried to have a lot of conversations about, the language we’re using and how we’re spending our time outside of work. Can we do more productive workshops versus getting drunk at happy hour, and I think there’s so many ways we can incorporate more intentionality in what we’re doing. It doesn’t have to be serving medicine.

We can find our own purposeful way to stay in our path.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Instead of. Changing everything, maybe change the direction a little bit. And I know it’s hard because, for example, in your industry, in your previous industry in the, like Sam, he says he wants to make documentaries that change the world, but all the networks want to buy as murder docs because that’s what sells.

And like middle-aged American ladies, they just wanna watch this. So it’s like, how do you change the middle-aged American ladies? To wanna watch something that is less negative.

Lana Rose Berger: They made that like media and society made that be something that people wanna watch, right? They promoted that and they made that.

That’s programming.

Sam Believ: But it is a two-way thing because if people, for example, want to buy. Do Doritos and eat them every day. And the companies obviously wanna sell Doritos, so yeah they just keep pushing each other in the wrong direction, right? They keep making Doritos more palatable and people keep getting more addicted to Doritos.

Lana Rose Berger: People wanna blame doctors a lot. I know. I used to be like this oh, the doctors just keep prescribing the medicines like candy. Why do you think also, yes, they were trained in pharmacology, but also people are like. I just wanna lose weight, put me on ozempic, and they’re like some good, really good doctors.

My uncle’s an incredible doctor. It’s like talking to them about, okay, have you changed diet? Have you gone to the gym? Ah, I don’t have time. Just gimme the ozempic. So it’s a two. Exactly. To your point, people wanna blame society, the doctor, et cetera, et cetera, but it’s, we’re all responsible for our decisions.

Sam Believ: It’s a chicken and egg situation. For example, if you’re a very conscious CEO and you start making your clothing. From a really nice ecological material, but then people are not buying it because now it’s 10% more expensive than the competition. Yeah. That’s difficult. So we do need it almost feels like there needs to be some kinda one big event that just gonna pushes everything in the right direction, or, I don’t know.

I really think about that a lot in the future. And because I have three kids and them growing up in this AI age. Like from all perspective. For example, as a business owner. We are struggling with kitchen stuff. There’s big rotation people. It’s, it is just a difficult work.

People get tired and they wanna quit, and there’s no easy way out, out of it. We tried everything and it’s just difficult. So I’m thinking like, if there’s a robot that can cook, I’m buying it next day, even though I’m in this conscious business and it’s, it doesn’t really sync up, but because there’s problems and reality. So it’s like a very complex situation. So how do you see the future? What is gonna happen? What should happen, how it should happen so that everyone becomes conscious and happily ever after?

Lana Rose Berger: I’m very involved with ai. And Jack, Jackie and I both are part of a business network community of ai entrepreneurs that really have consciousness at the forefront.

I think a lot of people are scared of ai. I think it’s just like anything, we can either embrace it or be scared of it. And I’ve been embracing it a lot and it’s become like a really great tool for me. I think intentionality, right? Just like anything. So if we start using AI and we start having it right, all of our captions and all of our blog posts and all of our messaging.

Then I think we’re losing our voice. And our voice is a vibration. It’s an energy. It’s a frequency, and it is meant to carry to the people it’s meant to carry to. I think we could lose that if we use it too far, right? So I use it for ideas or things like, Hey, I have this idea like of working with a social club here.

What do you think are different ways I could do that? Versus, can you write all my captions for this? Because that loses the essence of being a conscious person in this work. I think we are nearing a deeper awakening. I think we’re currently in the great awakening. So I think society’s waking up. I can tell people are reaching out to me that I would’ve never thought with the things I’m talking about.

People wanting to get off pharmaceuticals if they can. I think that’s important to say too, and not demonize that as well. I think people are really seeking meaning and purpose. I think we’re entering or we’re in the age of Aquarius, where that’s all about like truth. Things coming to light, and I think we’re there.

So I think we are gonna be ushering in this new world. I think all of us that have been going through this are being primed and initiated into holding the energy for new Earth. I think we’re gonna be a big part of that, all of us in this path. So I feel I feel those words like very deeply. I feel a responsibility of that, and I think that all we can do is be there to support people and allow people to awaken at their own pace.

I, when I first got in this work, all I wanted to do was shove ayahuasca down everyone’s throat, wake everybody up, get everybody out of bed, out of their slumber. And if they weren’t, I was like, Ugh. They all know this path. They’re crazy. And that was a trap too. That’s judgment. And everyone’s soul is here to do different things in a week at different times.

And so while I would love all of society to join us, I also feel, I let them come to me and just have more trust in their own processes and. Also keep working on mine and my elevating my consciousness and my vibration so that I can support more people who choose to go on the brave path of waking up in this lifetime.

Sam Believ: Beautiful. Let’s let’s start wrapping up on this positive note. Tell us more about your your business and how people can find you and reach out to you.

Lana Rose Berger: Yeah, my website is www.yourconsciousconcierge.com, and then Instagram is at your conscious concierge. And TikTok is conscious concierge.

The business is all about the service I like to call it, is really all about people having a place to come when they don’t know what’s out there, when they don’t know what’s next, or they’re curious what their options are in the world of. Healing or wellbeing. Most people know traditional medicine or pharmaceuticals, but there’s a lot of other things we can explore.

Plant medicine of course. And a ton of other modalities. And yeah, it’s a place people can come for that guidance and come to be connected to these people, places and things and have a big sister to be there for them as they go through this process of getting to know themselves deeply and awakening and healing.

Sam Believ: Cool. Anna, thank you so much. It was it was a very interesting conversation. Thank you guys for listening. As always, we do the host and believe, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Connect, heal, grow guys. I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Micah Stover, a certified psychedelic somatic therapist, educator, and author of Healing Psychedelics. Based in Mexico, Micah specializes in trauma healing through plant medicine, blending clinical models with indigenous traditions. Her work is rooted in personal experience with complex trauma, motherhood, and cross-cultural wisdom.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Micah’s traumatic birth story and healing journey (01:28)
  • Birth and motherhood as psychedelic experiences (04:31)
  • Postpartum depression and ancestral trauma (06:11)
  • The role of MDMA and psilocybin in healing (12:39)
  • Nature as a co-facilitator in integration (16:28)
  • Cultural insights from Mexican and Latino worldviews (20:28)
  • The power of playfulness and reverence for children (25:50)
  • Travel and relocation as healing catalysts (28:06)
  • The importance of community and “finding the village” (29:22)
  • Group vs. one-on-one healing work (32:55)
  • Lessons from curanderas and traditional medicine perspectives (36:08)
  • Science vs. spirit in psychedelic healing (40:14)
  • Understanding and healing complex trauma (42:56)
  • Accessing preverbal trauma through somatic memory (46:05)
  • A profound healing story involving mobility restoration (48:35)
  • Who Micah’s book is for and why she wrote it (50:48)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Micah Stover at http://www.micahstover.com and on Instagram @micahsugarfoot.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Micah Stover: I think a birth as a psychedelic experience. The medicine is the spirit coming through your body.

Sam Believ: Dying is a psychedelic process. Being born is a psychedelic process. Giving birth as a psychedelic process and so much more in between.

Micah Stover: Like the mentors, the elders, the guides, the facilitators who impacted me and held space for me were just as important as the medicines.

We’re humans are the only animals that don’t understand, or we’ve forgotten how relational we are. Think about how many animals travel in packs. When did we stop doing that and why We should really reconsider we’re better together. These medicines go into the brain and they create. Neurogenetic activity, and that is amazing because from a certain age we automatically decrease our neurogenetic activity.

That’s what happens as we age. So when we introduce these medicines, we have an increase of plasticity, elasticity in our mind, and that enables us. To have like new perspective on old things, and so the medicines can enter in and create an openness, a receptivity to what I would refer to as corrective experiences when an honorary sort of like archetypal mother, father figure.

Can offer an update or an upgrade to the information stored in the nervous system.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, really the host, Sam believe. Today I’m having an interview with Micah Stover. Micah is a certified psychedelic somatic therapist, educator and author specializing in trauma healing through psychedelic assisted therapy. After a traumatic pregnancy experience, she pursued training in internal family systems and psychedelic somatic therapy.

Based in Mexico, she hosts healing retreats and trains practitioners. Micah advocates for safe accessible psychedelic therapy, blending clinical knowledge with indigenous practices, and she’s also the author of the book, healing Psychedelics. We talk about intergenerational healing and ancestral trauma, psychedelic nature of giving birth healing, postpartum depression with psychedelics, the role of nature and community in healing nature deficit disorder.

Healing complex PTSD per verbal trauma using travel as healing modality commodification of psychedelics in the west, how psychedelic healing actually works, and so much more. Enjoyed this episode. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we can combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira connect. Heal, grow guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Micah, welcome to the show.

Micah Stover: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Sam Believ: Micah, tell us about your story and how did you get into this line of work with mental health and with psychedelics?

Micah Stover: Yeah, as you alluded in my introduction, a lot of what brought me to this particular chapter of my healing journey was a wildly traumatic pregnancy.

And what that pregnancy, I think unearthed for me was a whole lot of unprocessed, intergenerational trauma. It’s really kind of poignant and poetic the way things look when you look from the back, from hindsight. I’m a descendant of a lineage of midwives. So it feels somehow appropriate that this, like cracking open that I experienced happened in the labor and delivery room and space.

My son and I were lucky enough to make it out. We were okay. I lost one baby in that experience, a twin. And when they sent us home the message was you guys made it like you’re survivors, you’re awesome. But from a mental health standpoint, I was broken the culmination of 10 weeks in a hospital, the sort of brushed over loss of a of vanishing twin and the fragility of a tiny preemie plus.

Like a resurgent of what I have come to understand as ancestral ghosts screaming for help was a lot, and I had some psychedelic experiences in the past and I don’t know if that was enough that it left like a footnote in my psyche, but I just felt a very clear. Call, that’s the way to heal enough to be a good mom was gonna require some pretty powerful tools.

Sam Believ: I feel you. Sorry to hear that and sorry to hear about losing one of the twins I married as well. We have three kids and I’ve had the, from the. Husband’s perspective. Plenty of postpartum depression and we had a miscarriage. Our first kid, we lost our first kid but we do have three healthy kids now.

Why do you think that happens? Like in your journey of understanding it, why do you think birthing and new child triggers that healing? Process. Do you have any thoughts about it? ’cause I think about it and I just don’t understand why in such a vulnerable moment, and how do we take this chaos and this difficult moment as opportunity for healing?

Just talk to us about that.

Micah Stover: God, I could talk to you about this. I’ll say where to begin. I think of birth as a psychedelic experience. If we define psychedelic experiences, our sense of I, our sense of self, our ego dis dissolving. Our whole sense of time and space and where we fit in, it being redefined as a woman giving birth.

You’re there and that’s the ceremony. The medicine is the spirit coming through your body. It is like a oneness with divinity. For a certain period of time. If you think about any ceremony, like it’s like labor contraction, expansion, pain purge, and then something on the other side, and what, what felt to me like awoken out of that unexpected way for the birth to go.

Was a, I don’t know, just a great call to understand epigenetically. How do these intergenerational trauma threads like weave through time and space, like what about we get better, but we’re not better? One of the things my father often told me growing up is, you have it so much better than I did.

Which was not a lie. Totally. I had it way better, but also I was wildly abused. So the relativity of better and what that means for me, when I held my premium, my hands, I just thought, oh my God, I’m not fully embodied. How am I gonna mother him like this? I have to be. Alive, like in my body, not just in my brain, which I’d gotten so comfortable just living in my brain.

For me, my oldest now is nine and a half, and it has, he, all of my children are my best teachers, and each of their birth stories have been like invitations for me to just. Come so much closer, just any sort of cosmological design, understanding that there, there is, I don’t know if it’s my lineage or what, but I felt a strong connection to all of my babies that I, they’re not babies anymore, but I met them before they came to me, as spirits in dreams, in ceremonies, and so my relationship with them.

Began before they had a physical form. And I think a lot that’s what conscious parenting is like. It begins before they’re born, but so many of us don’t even know that we can have these kinds of inner dimensional dialogues.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I think I, I felt it before when I. Connected to my children before they were born.

It is interesting that you say about, birthing process being psychedelic because we just had a daughter eight months ago and I was there with my wife in the birthing room for the first time, even though it’s our third kid, but it’s the first kid, after this whole COVID madness.

So they should have let me in. And I was there with her and she was crying and she was processing so much stuff and she, obviously we run an ayahuasca retreat together, so she knows how it feels and she’s I’m full tripping. I’m having a full ayahuasca experience. It’s like very DMT and not just that, but it was a very productive experience where she was grieving some things and processing.

And what I’m realizing more and more also through this podcast as I interview people, dying is a psychedelic process. Being born is a psychedelic process. Giving birth as a psychedelic process and so much more in between. Eventually it’s what is not psychedelic or like what is more normal, the psychedelic states or common states.

Micah Stover: I think that’s such a good thing. Like I always tell people like, I think the. One of the things I’ve come to understand is that we’ve got to shift away from this living for a ceremony and understanding that life is the ceremony. So like you’re saying, like it’s a cadence, it’s a frequency, it’s a vibration, and how do we bring that to everything?

I think our kids are really good. Teachers for that because they’re so purely still connected to the source.

Sam Believ: How long did your postpartum depression last? Or if you can maybe give it time because I know it can be difficult to scope.

Micah Stover: I would say for the first like solid year of my oldest life, I was like.

Teetering on a fine line between sanity breakdown, breakthrough, on that tightrope in between, where some days I felt like I don’t know if I can be this epigenetic guard. I don’t know how to quell the ancestor cries. And also I feel like this is my assignment and it was madness in there. But also like with a sense of purpose and love that I’d never felt to drive me, like the love you have for your child.

I started my psychedelic personal healing journey pretty shortly into that postpartum period, which parts of me thought were crazy ’cause I grew up evangelical. So you know, I was breaking a lot of rules, but I just felt called to that. And it was through that, those experiences that I feel like, I was told do not have any more children.

You had the most traumatic, dangerous pregnancy and birth ever. Don’t do that again, please, for all of our sakes. I got pregnant again. I was diagnosed of as being, having fertility issues. I got pregnant again without really trying. If I was trying, it was on the first sort of, okay, maybe we’ll try and I had zero complications.

My second son was born totally natural in a birth center with no medical interventions required. To me what that says. Is that thank you science for how you saved my life the first time around. And also, you don’t know this whole mystery that’s happening here, which is the woman’s body, which is birth, which is like how spirits come through.

Sam Believ: So can you talk to us a little bit about this process of you going through your postpartum depression, getting out of it, learning maybe, you know what? Psychedelics did you use, if you wanna mention that, or any modalities? Specifically what helped you the most?

Micah Stover: What helped me the most? All of it intentionality, having the right support.

I could not have done this alone. Like the mentors, the elders, the guides, the facilitators who impacted me and held space for me were just as important as the medicines. Because I believe through my own experience, like the wound was relational, I had to heal in a relational space. Medicine didn’t cure me, but it helped to facilitate a relational repair that I didn’t even know was possible.

My first medicine to work with was MDMA, which was profoundly helpful because I was, I did not love myself. And MDMA is very good at helping us to love and forgive ourselves. I would say it’s one of its superpowers. It’s like its capacity to open our channel for empathy. And my whole life from the evangelical backdrop, the message was that everything bad that had happened was ultimately my fault.

And dare I say woman’s fault, dare I say Eve’s fault for being curious in the garden. So it shut down my curiosity, it shut down my body. It shut down any possibility for pleasure or play. Indie A helped me to find those little kid parks that were so stunted in there, feeling already like at age five, dirty, ashamed, responsible, and I spent, a fair amount of time just working with that medicine.

Because I needed some serious like deposits in the self-love department, and then I had a very strong feeling at some point, probably about a year in that, the spirit of the mushroom was like calling me like, okay, you’ve learned a lot about what’s under the hood of yourself. Good girl, good job.

But now what happens if you talk to a spirit that’s not just your own? I really believe psilocybin is a spirit. It’s a relationship. So I began a relational journey with the spirit that is psilocybin. And to me, that spirit showed up as earth mother, as Pachamama, and that repair job was so deep and profound, like I don’t think I’d ever been mothered like that before.

It feels like being mothered by the earth, like her helping me see what I didn’t have. Feel what secure attachment is. See through myriad examples like kaleidoscope of pictures and nature of how animals are as mothers. Be it the otter, be it the lion, like there are pictures, the motherhood everywhere we look in the natural world.

So I think a lot of it was seeing all that helped me come out of the lack of my family system didn’t teach me this, so how am I gonna ever do it? Meanwhile, nature has abundant examples for me to draw from, learn from.

Sam Believ: So you learn a lot from nature. You say a phrase that I really like, which is Nature deficit disorder.

Can you talk to us about that? Why do we have it?

Micah Stover: God bless. I appreciate technology here. We are having this bubbly conversation thanks to that, but also how much time do we spend now on these machines versus in the natural world? You know what I mean? And I just think that maybe it was all the time I spent in Mexico.

Maybe it was the Eros who I had the opportunity to be. Taught and stewarded by there. There was a very strong message that there are like these three pillars to being solid. One of them is your connection to the earth as mother. The second is your connection to your village. We don’t do this alone.

And the third is your understanding of like right relationship and reciprocity. We are not here to take, we are here to give and receive, and out of that alignment, it can’t work. So nature was a big part of it. Like my integration happened in nature through nature, and I see that so much with people. I work like now.

The ones who really not only get better, feel better, but stay better. Cultivate this relationship with the earth. I think that’s where the kind of like whole eco psychology comes into play. Like we exist on this planet. There’s a relationship there we have to tend to in repair.

Sam Believ: It’s beautiful what you’re describing because it, it kinda have to, I just get this understanding that we can get, let’s say the relationship with your mother.

Hasn’t been perfect because her relationship with her mother hasn’t been perfect, and there was maybe a line there somewhere, something was broken. But at the end of the day, we can always restart it again by forming a relationship with the Earth, which is. The mother or you know the God, which is the father or whatever you, whichever cosmology you believe in.

But it’s kinda like in the end we can always reconnect. It’s kinda like when you talk to shamans and you ask them, I wanna learn more about ayahuasca. They just say nobody can teach you. Ayahuasca can teach You just drink it and it will show you. So in the way we can always, we have this ability to reset just by going back to the.

To those flat medicines. And it is interesting that you also mention, your parents always think that you had it better. ’cause I have the same thing with my dad. He’s oh, you had it so much better. And his life, his childhood was. Tremendously traumatic. Like he could easily be a serial killer.

You could say with this childhood, I understand and I forgive you, but he’s somewhat abusive, but he is. He is all right. And I’m so much better now with my kids. It’s like it is getting better. And I think in the end of the day, all parents are always doing their best. So you live in Mexico, right?

And you talk about. Learning a lot from the Latino culture. I’m coming to you here from Colombia and my wife is Colombian. So it is triggering sometimes, when they’re one hour late. There’s a lot of like issues with the way we see the world differently, but there’s also lots of lessons and how to differently treat life.

Can you talk to us about that and what you learned from. From the Mexicans. And from the Latinos.

Micah Stover: Yeah. God also could talk all day about this, but I just remember when we first moved there, and this thing that you’re describing where time isn’t fixed, but it’s fluid. W when is the party gonna start? It’s like a range.

Could be six. Six could mean seven, but it’s not a problem because people just show up when they show up and there’s a flow. There’s a non urgency, and for me, in the beginning when I moved there, I almost felt like I had to detox from the American way of everything being so fixed and immediate, like so much immediacy.

It’s strange to be as a shared earlier I’m here in the States actually right now. I’ve been here for a little bit and it’s so strange to be back here after having been there for six and a half years because I’m like, oh, this is familiar to me because, I grew up in the States, but also the cadence, the rhythm of how things flow here don’t feel quite right to my nervous system anymore.

Like I really so appreciate. The slow, non-urgent pace of life, which as you mentioned, can sometimes be frustrating ’cause you’re like, okay people, but this, there’s three hours passed when we said we were gonna do something, but really, who cares? And most of the time if people are late, it’s because they got really engaged in something that was really important, like a conversation that could change a life.

One of the things I most appreciate about Mexican culture is. Not only their fluidity about life and time, but also their like playfulness of spirit. And I feel like one of the ways that I have seen that most beautifully expressed is through how childhood is revered as sacred. When there’s a, an expression amongst people in Mexico that kids are king.

Kids rule this country. And if you look around and you see the number of pinatas and celebrations for children, it’s true. And I just think that is so beautiful. What if all of us around the world revered childhood like that? Not only was that beautiful to witness for my kids, but healing for the inner child in me that wasn’t allowed to play.

That didn’t know that was safe.

Sam Believ: Definitely the importance of playfulness or lack there of we’re just too serious all the time and it’s hard to enjoy life this way, as I like to say. I don’t know much about Mexico, but I been there a couple times and the culture seems to be very similar to and here at la so we have two teams.

We have a ceremony team and like business team that’s largely foreigners. And we have the com, the hospitality team, which is largely Colombians and I like to say everything that’s with this foreign team is gonna be on time and everything that’s. With the Columbia team, there’s, plus, minus 30 minutes.

Please don’t get offended because I say that their approach to time is also psychedelic and there’s not much you can do about it. We’re more on time recently, but still there’s, an occasional disruption in time space continuum, and it just happens. But talking about culture, so you, you described as moving to Mexico was.

Was a like a new beginning for you and your healing journey been job started by it. How do you, would you recommend people to travel, to reset their normal and how. No. Talk to us about that moving and healing.

Micah Stover: Yeah, I feel like travel is another one we could put on the, put in the, under the umbrella of psychedelic experience, right?

Because again, our concept of self, our relationship to language, time, space, food, everything that makes us have a sense of I is shifted when we travel. I think that is so valuable. It’s humanizing, it’s instructive, to have the opportunity. I spent six years in Mexico. I will continue to spend time there now.

I spent five years in Asia. Like these experiences define my life. I always recommend people travel. As a mechanism for healing themselves and understanding humanity better.

Sam Believ: And as you traveled, you describe of finding your village. Talk to us about that. What does it mean and why should everyone has a village, have a village?

Micah Stover: There’s a book, I talk about this book a lot ’cause it’s one of the like top, top five for me of life changing called the Wild Edge of Sorrow. And one of the quotes in that book says. It is our greatest grief that the village did not appear. Not only were we longing for a mother and a father, but really two people never would’ve been enough.

’cause what we wanted was the whole village to hold our hands. So it is our greatest grief that the village did not appear. Never before have I read. That resonates with such depth in my soul. We need the village. We’re humans are the only animals that don’t understand, or we’ve forgotten how relational we are.

Think about how many animals travel in packs. When did we stop doing that and why we should really reconsider. We’re better together. The village is essential. I always tell people if they contact me and they wanna work with me as a guide, as a supporter, I, we can’t do it until we make the village. And I’m not big enough to be your village.

I’ll be one in the village, but who else? And then when people are like, I don’t know, there is no village. Like in America, for example, I’m like the earth is Mother is a great place to start.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we’re. We have more people than ever now in the earth, but we’re lonelier than we ever been. And I’ve just booked, I just bought the book on Audible.

I’m gonna check it out. I’m al I’m always impressed with people that quote stuff from the books. It’s I recently interviewed Gal Burma and he just starts, to quote the books. I’m so impressed. I need to learn some passages myself ’cause I feel not knowing stuff deep enough. Yeah, I totally agree with you regarding the importance of the community and that we’re tribal animals that for some reason forgot that we were tribal and now, there’s nothing natural about a couple having to deal with.

Three kids, for example, without any support because it’s just too much for, it’s lovely to spend three hours a day with a kid because it’s invigorating, it’s beautiful. But if you have to do 24 hours, then you get burned out because kids, they just. Operate on the different revolutions.

They go fast and they, they’re a lot. But I think the community is even more important with work with plant medicines or psychedelics. Like for example, here at LoRa, we notice. Like big part of the healing comes from the community. When you take people together and you burn, you make a fire in the middle and you give them psychedelics, all of a sudden they revert to this natural mode of being and they start supporting each other and it’s just so healing.

So can you talk to us about that? What have you noticed in your own work regarding like one-on-one work or group work and importance of the community?

Micah Stover: Yeah. I have a lot of thoughts on this too. So I think there is a necessity to evolve to inner our healing to being in a relational space with a group, because I do ultimately think one of the measures of healing is can we be in a village relational context?

Again, all this hyper individuation is a trauma response. So now that being said, I work with a lot of people who have very complex PTSD, meaning that. Their PTSD didn’t just happen after one recent event. They don’t even have a memory in their psyche in this lifetime, in this body where they felt safe in relationship, where they knew secure attachment.

So when people come to me in that space, I don’t necessarily recommend that they go do group work first. Why? Not because it’s not good, but because I want them to have an opportunity to process what’s going on within their sovereign self before they go into a group. Because if you put a lot of people into a space together who have complex trauma that’s not been processed, you’re gonna get a lot of what I would call transferential projections, meaning the wounds of the past, projected on the onto the canvas of another.

And that’s beautiful in. Ultimately, because then we can potentially repair. But if people haven’t processed their trauma or been held at all in one safe space with secure attachment, they might not, they might get overwhelmed in a group. So I think of it as like a graduation. We start here, we find the sovereign inside ourselves.

We come to understand our shadows, our lights, how we project out. On to others. And then with that awareness, we go with great discernment into group. Not throwing it everywhere, but like recognizing and being able to talk with like intention and consciousness. Oh, when you said that, that triggered the thing in me and I wonder if we could explore it together.

It takes a lot of preliminary work, I think, for people to be able and ready to do that in a group context. Safely Transformatively,

Sam Believ: I know that you work with ES like back to the topic of the tribe a little bit. I guess every tribe used to have Es. So what have you learned from there about, how to work with plant medicines properly?

Traditionally? What are the main sort of lessons and differences, for example, from the Western approach to psychedelics?

Micah Stover: In some ways, almost every way, Lila, let me give you an example. I remember one of the first RAs I met when I moved to Mexico, and I was telling her, because I had studied the maps model for working with MDMA.

And I was telling her how, I do this and then I wait six weeks and then I have another session, and then I wait six more weeks and then I do another one. And I’m integrating in between. And she thought it was hysterical. And I was like, W why are you laughing? And she was like I just don’t understand how anyone would ever think that you wouldn’t forget everything that you learned in that six weeks because it, from a more indigenous model, you’re gonna submerge yourself, like you’re gonna go deep into the ceremony and probably at minimum have three pretty close together before you come back out because we’re trying to like.

Almost fertilize your system with the remembrance of nature, the nature that is inside us, that is the same as the nature that we live with. This was wildly different than like following a protocol, doing all these things in a systematic way. Like once again, it’s the same vein as what we were talking about before, like things flow as opposed to like one of the things that worries me most about the clinical.

Movement of psychedelics now is like the commodification of something sacred, the izing of something sacred. There’s a big difference between a protocol and a ritual, but I don’t know if in a Western context people really get this sense. Okay, if you burn Palo Santo you’re not in like the set or setting that’s indigenous to that.

Is it have the same ritualistic impact? I don’t know. Maybe it can. For me it was I needed to be there. I needed to feel the whole thing and just be pummeled by it in the best way possible.

Sam Believ: Yeah. For some reason, we always try to reinvent the bicycle. It’s yeah, psychedelics have been done for thousands of years.

There are existing traditions. Let’s just learn from them. No, but we know better. Let’s give you a mask and put you on the couch and put you in the room and with the two therapists or whatever, and just charge you a. Downloads of money because it’s fancy. Yeah. There’s definitely value in in that model, but I just hope that eventually they, people that work with plant medicines, they will just try and bridge and find a perfect combination of Western and Eastern combine plant medicines and traditional indigenous setting, but then add some talk therapy or integration, which is like a beautiful combination.

It works really well. I asked that question. All the people that wrote books about psychedelics, because obviously you analyze the topic really well. And your book specifically healing psychedelics, is about how to heal with psychedelics. So my question is, how do you describe psychedelics? How do they work?

What is the mechanism in your opinion?

Micah Stover: Scientifically speaking, and I wanna be clear then I’m not bashing. Clinical protocols in science because I also love that stuff too. I really resonated with what you said about, I like think of that in my own sort of self-identity as someone in this body of work.

Like how can I be a steward who is a hybrid? Meaning, I’m walking with the learnings of both of those. The science. The more indigenous spirit of the work. But to get to your question about how it works, scientifically I can explain it in terms of these medicines go into the brain and they create.

Neurogenetic activity. And that is amazing because from a certain age, we automatically decrease our neurogenetic activity. That’s what happens as we age. So when we introduce these medicines, we have an increase of plasticity, elasticity in our mind, and that enables us to have like new perspective on old things.

Sam Believ: And from the point of view of ez. How would you explain it?

Micah Stover: That you’re remembering you are a primal creature. You are an animal and a body, and that you belong to yourself and the earth. And if you can return to the wisdom of the wild, everything will be fine. Your answers aren’t up here. They’re in here, they’re in the earth.

And I think both the beauty of that is that both of those things are true. Science and the spirit.

Sam Believ: Yeah, because we have a physical body and we have our emotional body and we have our soul. And those are just describing like different layers, different depth. Let’s talk a little bit about trauma. You mentioned complex PTSD, you yourself have this religious trauma with evangelical background.

What is trauma? How does one. Identify trauma and how does one heal trauma with help of plant medicines or psychedelics?

Micah Stover: Complex trauma in particular, as I was saying before, is when. People like don’t, there was never any safety and there was never like a oh this golden period where everything was safe and then it fell apart.

Complex trauma is usually marked or distinguished by, there was an absence of safety and secure attachment from the very beginning where PTSD might be more like an isolated event that happened. Then that creates trauma. So I think I work mostly with complex PTSD survivors. That means that, we are going back often to the very beginning.

Sometimes it can be to pre-verbal and utero trauma. Sometimes it can be early childhood adolescence. And really, often I think of my work when I’m working, I’m drawing from the same well as when I am mother to my children because. Survivors of complex trauma have living inside them like a complex world of little kid parts that were stunted in their development because they did not get the maternal paternal reflection needed to.

Develop, and so the medicines can enter in and create an openness, a receptivity to what I would refer to as corrective experiences when an honorary sort of like archetypal mother, father figure. Can offer an update or an upgrade to the information stored in the nervous system, like for example, to make it concrete.

That can be as simple as saying to someone who’s felt responsible their whole life like me for everything that happened. This was not your fault, none of it was your fault. And then asking them, what do you feel in your body when I say that? And really inviting them to have this opportunity to explore how much their body organically, naturally responds to that right information.

We want to heal, we just need the support and the safety for it to happen.

Sam Believ: So you mentioned pre-verbal. Trauma, how does one access those states and how can one heal something so early, so deep? So let’s say animalistic brain, so to speak.

Micah Stover: I’ll use myself as an example to make something that would otherwise be very esoteric, a little bit more concrete, hopefully.

But I actually think as I’m sure you’re familiar with Bessel Vander Cock the Body. Keeps the score. I actually believe that the body remembers everything that the mind sometimes works to forget. So for example, a very impactful healing sessions that I had, I relived the experience of being born, like being pulled out with forceps, being pulled out of this dark space that felt safe and encapsulated.

Into chaos and then handed to not my mother, but my father, and I felt in my body. He doesn’t want me. I don’t remember any of that cognitively, but because I think that neurogenetic activity makes us be able to access stuff that our cognitive linguistic narrative brain can’t recall, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

That shit was real. I felt it in my body. My body trembled and shook to show me how real it was. And I think the potency of people being able to recall things like that is the pathway to wholeness.

Sam Believ: Yeah, that sounds very. Very scary. I never went that far in, into the past. A lot of work that happens with Ayahuasca, for example, naturally there’s a lot of purging through body, a lot of shaking, a lot of movement, and sweating and purging, and it feels your body gets lighter in, in your practice.

Like what is, what are some of the most impressive transformation stories with people healing with the help of plant medicines?

Micah Stover: There have been so many amazing things that I have witnessed that I. Still, I’m just what? That’s possible. Let me just little dole out a few. There’s a couple chapters devoted to these stories in my book, but one of the human beings who his journey and healing and gets getting to be part of that has impacted me the most.

The first time I met him, he was not able to physically walk and so in a wheelchair. This was even before medicine. He said to me something like, it occurred to me as I was doing my preparation work that maybe this quote unquote disability is a way for me to hide from life because I’m scared, because I’m wounded.

And I was like that feels like there’s something to it. I didn’t know if he was gonna walk again, but he did. He does. Oh my God. And sometimes he still has setbacks and needs to sit and needs to use the cane, but it’s not like his healing is any less profound. He has a wildly different life now than when I met him.

He like didn’t leave the house. He was scared of everything and now he has a life. That’s amazing.

Sam Believ: That’s very impressive indeed. You know some of the transformations. That can happen, and the speed of them sometimes as well is very impressive. Like the lifetimes of pain just going away very quickly.

Let’s spend LA last minutes talking about your book. Who is your book for and why should people read it?

Micah Stover: Yeah, thanks for this question. So the book is really written for a couple of main, I would say. Participants, readers first and foremost, as I’ve watched this whole like field explode over the last.

Five to 10 years and all the stuff we were mentioning before about the prices, and it’s just really clear to me that some of the people who need this work the most are not gonna be able to access it because it’s not available financially. So I wanna be explicit in saying that I don’t think a book can ever replace a skilled facilitator in total.

I know because I lost someone in my life who tried to go this road alone and she’s no longer with us. And when she passed I was like I’m writing the book. And then if people who wanna go this journey and they don’t wanna go it alone, they can find like a companion guide through the book.

The book walks them through the whole arc of the psychedelic journey from preparation. To medicine work, to integration, and very intentionally, the book is a combination of like science, why is this working, how is this working? And also narrative, like real life stories of how. This looked, this wound looked under the metaphysical surgery, if you will, as well as exercises that people can do to support their own integration.

I think the other people who have shared with me that the book’s been really meaningful for them are people thinking about and wanting to explore. Being a facilitator and wanting to know, how do I go about things like conscious touch, safe touch. How do I not make this worse? How do I help, in an integral way?

So that the book is also for those folks as well.

Sam Believ: Thank you for sharing. Thank you for writing the book. Thank you for doing the work. It’s it’s very valuable these days and I totally agree with you with the topics of affordability, accessibility. That’s what I focus on a lot as well. Mike. It was, pleasure to have a conversation with you

Micah Stover: and you as well. Thank you so much for having me.

Sam Believ: Where can people find more about you?

Micah Stover: Yeah, people can find me on my website@micahstover.com. You can find my book there. I have a newsletter that people can sign up for where I share about podcasts like this or classes I’m teaching on Instagram.

People can find me at Micah Sugarfoot. Those are probably some of the best places.

Sam Believ: Thank you, Mike. Thank you for this conversation. Guys, you’ve been listening to our podcast. As always, we do the host and believe, and I’ll see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Connect, heal, grow guys. I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Dave Hodges.

Dave is the founder of the Church of Ambrosia, a psychedelic church in Oakland, California, known for its use of mushrooms as sacraments. With over 125,000 members, Dave is one of the most outspoken advocates for entheogens as religious tools and has pioneered breakthrough dose work for spiritual insight, healing, and consciousness exploration.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Founding a psychedelic church and early raids (01:24–03:29)
  • Legal challenges and city pushback (04:01–06:04)
  • Psychedelics as religious sacraments (06:24–07:34)
  • Understanding the soul and afterlife (07:38–08:35)
  • What is a breakthrough dose and how it’s calculated (09:15–12:37)
  • Dangers of overdose and gradual dosing (12:46–13:52)
  • Origins of religion through mushrooms (14:36–15:47)
  • Aliens, dimensions, and God (17:04–20:38)
  • What it’s like running a psychedelic church (21:04–22:05)
  • Safe environments and the “God’s Sitters” project (22:12–24:40)
  • Can the soul get lost? (25:34–26:40)
  • Church leadership, books, and the Book of Ambrosia (26:46–29:25)
  • Encounters with dark entities during ceremonies (30:09–32:31)
  • The war on drugs and financial incentives (33:08–40:16)
  • Legal battles and how the church fights back (40:29–41:24)
  • Who comes to the church and why (42:05–43:18)
  • Business model and sacrament contributions (44:03–44:39)
  • Dave’s vision for humanity and the soul (45:02–46:01)
  • Risks and special conditions (48:01–49:27)
  • Integration practices and audio journaling (49:42–51:59)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Dave Hodges at ambrosia.church, zydedoor.com, or follow him on Instagram at @davehemp420.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Dave Hodges: One ape tried the mushrooms and this first experience by this first ape was the first time that we knew there was anything more to this existence. The first lesson from that first ceremony was one of language. My focus is really on mushrooms, but it’s really true for just about everything is they affect the border between this world and the next a microdose.

It’s like putting a little crack in that wall at a normal dose. It’s like poking a hole and the more. You do the larger, the hole at the breakthrough dose is like taking a sledgehammer and knocking down that wall. The first stage of overdose is you don’t remember what you did. So if you don’t remember what you did, why’d you do it?

You definitely went too Deep tips for all of this work is to make sure that you let go and you accept whatever’s happening. If you feel like you’re dead instead of freaking out, oh no, I’m dead. What do I do? You just have to accept, but, okay, I’m dead. So what’s next? You’re goal is more powerful than anything else.

Your soul wants to come back. The goal is to get you to actually truly connect with it. It is more powerful than any shaman. It is what will guide you back to your body as long as you truly accept you are it. And you came here for a reason.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we do the whole assembly of today. Have an interview with Dave Hodge, Dave Hodges, or Dave Hodges. Hodges. Okay, Dave Hodges. Dave Hodges is known for his advocacy of antigenic plants as religious sacraments. He’s a founder of Church of Ambrosia.

Dave regularly consumes between 15 to 25 grams of dried mushrooms in a single session, aiming to deepen his understanding of consciousness and the divine. Dave has been actively involved in legal efforts to protect the use of antigenic plants as sacraments. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat.

At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Dave. Welcome to the show.

Dave Hodges: Hey, thanks for having me.

Sam Believ: Actually we are. We’re having a retreat right now and one of the visitors we were chatting and he mentioned that recently.

No. There was stuff happening in, in US that they were cracking down on churches and stuff like that. So that’s why, that’s how I found you. It was just a few days ago and it’s pretty cool that we’re on a call now. That’s the beauty of, modern day and internet. But before we get into all this juicy stuff tell us about your story.

Like how does one become a leader of a psychedelic church?

Dave Hodges: It’s a long story, but in short, we started as a cannabis church. And, I’d had a deep relationship with cannabis for a very long time. And shortly after we opened up Oakland passed the lowest priority for antigenic plants.

And the one that was calling to me was the mushroom. I had never done mushrooms at the time, so I had to learn what they were before the church could provide them. There’s a whole path I talk about that they took me on from doing a five gram heroic dose and then moving my way up in a very quick matter from five to 10 to 15, to 20 to 30 grams in a single dose.

All in the intent to understand what mushrooms were and what religion is, where religion came from in the first place. Since that point, which was back in 2019 at least three to four times a year, I still do the breakthrough dose work myself. The church now has over 125,000 members, and those are all people who have physically come in the church to get cannabis mushrooms or DMT from us.

But it’s been a wild journey to say the least.

Sam Believ: How do you fit 125,000 people? What kind of church do you have?

Dave Hodges: We, that’s what we need actually. We need a much bigger building. The church exists as a physical location where people can get their sacrament, but we’re much bigger than that.

We have been looking for a larger home for quite some time, and I’m sure eventually we’ll find it. But what happened was we were raided in 2019. Or actually 2020, early 2020. And from that point we went from 20,000 members to now over 125. So we’ve just exploded in ways that we couldn’t imagined really all because we got rated by the local pd.

Sam Believ: That’s basically a perfect example of what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. It’s like you got some publicity,

Dave Hodges: yeah. Before that, we were all word of mouth, so you didn’t know unless you knew. And after we were raided, the cat was out of the bag and there was a bunch of articles talking about how we shut down, even though we opened the next day.

All the articles said, we shut down and people still found us.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I’m glad. But you’re not shut down right now. You’re still on it.

Dave Hodges: Yep. Yeah, we had a. We did recently shut down our San Francisco location. That was the beginning of this year. The problem was the city was, they weren’t doing any criminal charges, but what they kept doing was making up problems that we had with the building.

What started with a sliding glass door on the second story building that went to nowhere, which, I agree that didn’t need to be there, but that was also not a problem in the building. Since the building was built until we moved in, and then as soon as we moved in, people were just gonna fly out that sliding glass door.

And you know that started a process that ended up we ended up spending somewhere near a half a million dollars to try to get that building up to speed before we decided we just couldn’t spend anymore.

Sam Believ: So it is suspicious that they tried to obviously find an issue to close you down on or make you stop.

Stop functioning. What do you think that is? Who, who is, who’s that? Who is that going against you and most importantly, why?

Dave Hodges: As far as we could tell, it was actually somebody in the planning department. We’re not sure exactly who, it was we, when you deal with government. Officials.

There’s so many different levels of them and there’s so many different problems with them. It’s really hard to say where exactly it came from, but generally you expect the cops to have something to do with it or law enforcement. But the law enforcement in San Francisco actually really liked us. We, that we had worked together with them to do.

Try to control some chaos in at Hippie Hill on four 20 and we regularly provided them video footage of things that were happening around our building. So the cops were actually not the problem. It was more somebody in the planning department who just was absolutely sure that we needed to go and they were gonna figure out how to do it.

Sam Believ: Any guess is why?

Dave Hodges: Prejudice. There’s a lot of people that don’t look at us as a real church in their eyes and don’t believe that these sacred tools are the real access to anything. And instead, it’s just a bunch of people that wanna do drugs.

Sam Believ: Let’s talk about the, that, plant medicines as sacraments.

How do you think, how do you think they help, yeah.

Dave Hodges: Yeah. The way I talk about really all psychedelics, my focus is really on mushrooms, but it’s really true for just about everything is they affect the border between this world and the next. At a microdose, it’s like putting a little crack in that wall at a normal dose.

It’s like poking a hole. The more you do, the larger the whole at the breakthrough dose, it’s like taking a sledgehammer and knocking down that wall and the first thing on the other side is your soul. So if you’re looking for healing, if you’re looking to understand why you went through something, if you’re looking to understand questions like why I’m here, what happens after I die?

Your soul knows all those answers and it’s a matter of being able to get in touch with that. To us, this is really. The true form of what religion should be is going in and seeking the answers yourself.

Sam Believ: What happens after we die? What have you found so far?

Dave Hodges: That’s a long story. I could talk for a while and it really all depends. We have that. Yeah. But our souls are something that lives outside of space and time and they the way I like to describe it is like a octopus with an unlimited number of tentacles and each time it dips a tentacle into space and time, it becomes one of us.

So what happens after we die really depends on whether that’s where the journey stops for that tentacle. There’s much more to this existence. But the goal, if you’ve accomplished what you came to do and you’ve completed your life with the goals that the octopus put you here to do, you just become part of it again, and then it dips into another space and time.

Sam Believ: That’s a good way to explain it. Yeah. That’s something that I’ve gathered something similar as well. I know souls coming in, having fun and then going back somewhere and that it’s. It’s not the end, it’s just the beginning.

Dave Hodges: It’s definitely not the end time is the illusion.

Sam Believ: You, I don’t think I’ve ever spoke to anyone who takes 30 grams of mushrooms.

I don’t think I ever went above four and a half. And it was a pretty difficult experience as well. So why so much? And what is the difference between a heroic dose and as you call it, a breakthrough dose?

Dave Hodges: So we, I actually don’t talk about grams anymore. In the testing that the church has done, we found a 80 times difference between potency of mushrooms.

So some mushrooms are 80 times stronger than others. You think you’re doing a gram of the weak ones and you do a gram of the strong ones. It’s the same as doing 80 grams of the mushrooms you’re used to. So now I really talk about. The potency of the mushrooms and how much psilocybin you’re actually consuming.

Back when I did my first doses and a lot of my original work, we hadn’t done a lot of testing and it’s really I don’t know how much psilocybin I was consuming back then. Definitely a very large amount. But the way I describe. Where the breakthrough dose starts.

So thi this is helpful in even people recalling their own experiences to try to understand how deep they’ve gone, because more than likely, either through ayahuasca or through mushrooms, you have reached this breakthrough state yourself. But where the breakthrough dose starts is what we call close eyes, strong visuals.

So your eyes are open. Everything looks pretty normal. You close your eyes and you see a lot of things, and from there, you we use a metric that’s a percentage of your body weight because that’s, that’s the other big thing that is lost in, when you’re talking about grams of mushrooms and, oh, I took this many grams, whereas I took that many grams.

There’s a factor relative to body weight where a person who is a hundred pounds and a person who are 300 pounds, they will experience the same dose completely differently. With the a hundred pound person experiencing it roughly three times what 300 pound person will. We talk about and on our website, Ambrosia Church, we have a calculator.

If you know the potency of your mushrooms, you have a batch that’s been tested where you can actually figure out where to go, but where that dose starts, as I said, is close eyed, strong visuals. By about 120% of your breakthrough dose. You get open-eyed visuals, but they’re transparent. Things are clearly in the room with you.

You see ’em all around you, but you can see through them by about 150% of your breakthrough dose. That’s where you see things as real as you and me. They’re standing in front of you. You can have sensations of touch, smell and you are either they are in the room with you or you are completely out of your body in another existence.

But for me, the benefit of this work, these really deep experiences when you have to work your way up, there there’s. A few dangers that I’ll get into a little later about doing too much too quickly. But when you do get into these spaces you get direct communication from your soul.

You experience things outside of this body. You can get questions answered. The deepest questions that any religion would try to answer except for this, is from direct experience versus some old book or somebody who told you.

Sam Believ: What percentages were, you have open eye visuals, but you don’t remember anything anymore and you’re forgot how to speak the language and you’re stuck in some mental loop

Dave Hodges: that, that’s like the exact next point that we should talk about.

We consider that to be an overdose so that the. The first stage of overdose is you don’t remember what you did, so if you don’t remember what you did, why’d you do it? You definitely went too deep. The second stage of overdose, which is more of a dangerous one, is where you do things like rip off your clothes and run down the street naked.

Now the thing about these higher realms is it’s much like bodybuilding. You wouldn’t just, you’ve never lifted weights before. You wouldn’t go and try to. Pick up 400 pounds, and if you did, you’d probably hurt yourself. There’s real importance of slowly working your way up until you’re comfortable going deeper, and as you do that, you’ll remember more and more.

But if somebody has never gone deep at all and then you even take ’em to the 120%, they’re not gonna recall a good chunk of their experience. They’ll recall some, but there’s really a strong importance to slowly work in your way up to these larger doses and giving yourself time to both process and your tolerance to fade before going into the next one.

Sam Believ: So you mentioned, getting the direct experience versus the old book. Do you believe the old books were written by someone who had the direct experience or not necessarily psychedelics?

Dave Hodges: Oh so the, the story of our religion. We actually had somebody who did a high dose and went back and lived a lifetime with the original apes, pre-human ancestors that discovered the mushrooms.

We actually tracked that back to about 2.6 million years ago when there was a great time of climate change where our prehuman ancestors were chased outta the forest in the grassland. This story that. You can find on our website and I talk about a lot is one where we found the mushrooms following a trail of bugs.

We, one ape tried the mushrooms and this first experience by this first ape was the first time that we knew there was anything more to this existence. The first lesson from that first ceremony was one of language. To us these are the roots. All religions that there are hidden truths in every true religion that’s out there that track back to the deep use of anthropogenic substances.

Sam Believ: What do you mean by true religion?

Dave Hodges: I, there’s, when I say true religion, I’m trying to weed out things like weird sex cults or ones wrapped around aliens where people drink Kool-Aid to go visit the stars. The things with real truth in them. I’m not necessarily saying large religions or any specific flavor of anything, but there’s religions that focus on deep teachings and deep universal truths, and then there’s religions that are really just focused around one charismatic leader to do whatever they want you to do,

Sam Believ: mostly make money.

Dave Hodges: Yeah, generally A lot of other worse things too.

Sam Believ: It’s interesting you mention aliens and I see. Ayahuasca work is different from ocean work, but there’s still similar patterns and there, there are some patterns that emerge. And one of them is some people go to this alien direction and some people go to ancient Egypt.

And there’s many different ones are around me space. And Elliot is one of the routes some people takes us. Do you, in your experience with high doses, you never encountered that, so you don’t think, what do you think about aliens? I’m just curious.

Dave Hodges: Aliens are real. They, there’s.

The breakthrough dose lets you leave this space and time and interact with things that are outside of this world. I have met many different races and entities and things that would absolutely be considered aliens. I’m not saying they’re not real. I’m saying that if somebody is telling you to drink a glass of Kool-Aid so you can go hop on the ship, there’s a problem with that a, as far as whether or not there are intelligences outside of our existence, outside of our knowing that interact with us in some cases on a regular basis. It’s absolutely a fact. There are, and these tools allow us to interact with some of them in a more direct fashion and actually go to them versus them coming to us.

Sam Believ: Why build a spaceship where you can just take some mushrooms and go visit directly. But do you see aliens real as in, there are somewhere else in this physical reality, but on the other planet or is in like another dimension?

Dave Hodges: Yes. The, yeah, both. Both there. There is life outside of this dimension and.

There is absolutely life outside of this world. The ones who have had the most technical technology developed that would allow them to travel from planet to planet it’s a relatively small number, but one of the ways in which they can do that is by stepping outta this dimension and stepping back into it at another point.

Again, yes. You have life that exists outside of this dimension. You have life that exists all over this dimension. In my direct experience. So there’s a ceremony that I talk about where I was ripped outta my body and taken to a place of pure light the place that I describe as the consciousness that existed before all else, and what I considered to be God.

In that experience I was given a few questions with a few answers. The question, the main question was, if you were, God what wouldn’t you know? And this is where I experienced the creation of space and time and all that exists. Every planet every substance, every property, every law, all created from what science sees as the Big Bang.

Along with that was the seed of life that was distributed along with it. So every world that we can see, every planet that can support life, there is some form of life. It’s just which ones have developed at a level that their technology allows them to perceive and travel between others.

Sam Believ: So speaking of God, the understanding that I recently gained this.

We’re all God. Then it’s if you’re a leaf on a tree and a tree is God, you’re a leaf, but you’re still God. What? What do you think about God?

Dave Hodges: The air we breathe, the chair we’re sitting on. We are all God experiencing self in every way possible. That’s what I was shown, that the Big Bang was.

God, not just creating everything, but becoming everything to experience itself in every way possible.

Sam Believ: Cool. So I run an Iowa retreat, right? And that’s a pretty different way of living your life, but I can’t imagine running in a church, what is what does, what kind of job is it running a church?

Dave Hodges: Doing what we do and what I do specifically, there’s a lot of interaction with lawyers and city officials and a little bit of everything. But we, our goal is to make sure that people have safe access and information so that they can use these substances and find their own truths.

On a day-to-day bus, a day-to-day basis. We interact with. In some cases, hundreds of people that have questions about what these sacraments do, how to use them safely, and we’re a place where people can go and both acquire those and learn what they need to learn to use them safely.

Sam Believ: But do you do you ever do sacraments in the church itself?

Like in a ritual or

Dave Hodges: No? No. The, especially in the high dose work. It’s definitely not something you wanna do around other people or in public, but in general, our facility is relatively small and it’s in a re, relatively bad area in Oakland. By far not the worst, but it’s not a place where we can host people to do this sort of work.

So we recommend that they find a safe place, ideally at home, around people that they trust, who know what they’re doing. And that’s where they do their work. We do have a project called Gods Sitters, which is a house in the Oakland Hills where we dose people with these breakthrough doses. It’s not exactly open to the public, but we do have, we do open it for anybody that comes across me and asks about it.

That is we do the dose where there’s two sober sitters, one person on the dose the dose is done. Downstairs is this two story building. The sitters stay upstairs, the person’s downstairs in a room with nothing on the walls, a bed on the floor, and just a safe place for them to go deep into themselves.

With themselves. The sitters are there to make sure that if something happens, like the house catches fire, or they hear a loud thud, somebody can go check on you and so that you know that you have somebody safe around you who understands what you’re doing. But the whole goal is to let people get deep into themselves with themselves, for themselves

Sam Believ: and why inside of the house?

Why not outside in the nature? What, and just what do you think about the connection with nature

Dave Hodges: when you’re d There’s many different ways to use psychedelics and mushrooms specifically, but when you’re talking about the breakthrough dose, you’re leaving your body. If you leave your body and an animal comes and decides to chew on it, you might have a problem when you come back.

The way that we recommend these breakthrough doses being done is in a safe environment with a bed and a bathroom nearby. There are people who, who do them out in nature, but it’s, for us, it’s making sure that we have a safe container for your body to keep your body safe when you’re not in it.

Sam Believ: So when you say you’re leaving your body, it’s the soul leaving the body.

Dave Hodges: Yeah. Yeah. You have experiences where, especially on the extremes of the breakthrough dose, you completely acknowledge you are not in your body. If somebody who was to come in and check on you, they would just see you. What they appear is you just passed out on the floor.

If you ask you what you were doing in that, you will tell them that, no, I just wasn’t there. So it’s really important to make sure that we have a safe container for people. And the bed and the bathroom are pretty essential. You wanna have a, again a comfortable space for your body and if there are any accidents that happen, having a shower and a bathroom right next to you are very dice.

Sam Believ: So if the soul leaves the body, does it always come back?

Dave Hodges: So far the, you might feel like you never come back. And one of the more important tips for all of the, all this work is to make sure that you let go and you accept whatever’s happening. If you feel like you’re dead instead of freaking out, oh, no, I’m dead. What do I do? You just have to accept, but, okay I’m dead.

So what’s next? If you feel like you’re trapped in a space and you’ll never come back again, the only thing you can do is just accept that you’re trapped in that space. You did it to yourself, and you’ll never come back. You will, but focusing on whether or not you’re going to and focusing on what, what happens because you’re dead, that will only limit what you’re trying to do.

The goal is, especially when you’re dealing with a death experience, to understand what happens after death.

Sam Believ: Do you have any priests or shamans in your religion, like someone that maybe if a soul can’t come back, like in, in Alaska work, we have shamans, right? And sometimes people go very deep and then they can help them navigate their way back.

Do you do something like that or?

Dave Hodges: We haven’t found the need to. One of the biggest things that has made the work a lot safer is understanding this potency and dosage relative to body weight. Where we have, especially before we had that calculation, we have taken people too deep. It’s just a matter of time before they come back.

So we wanna make sure that the environment’s safe, that they. Aren’t planning on going anywhere that night and that they got somebody who’s experienced these deep realms to be able to talk to them after they come out. But really the worst experiences where we’ve seen the overdose and potential harms that come out of going too deep, too quick and not understanding what you do.

It, I haven’t yet had somebody not come back. I’ve had multiple people who just decided that they never wanted to do this work again. And honestly, all but one have eventually come back and, maybe six months to a year later and said, okay, I’m ready to go back. I understand that I was just too afraid of what I was dealing with and I went too far.

But, it’s. Your soul is more powerful than anything else. Your soul wants to come back. The goal is to get you to actually truly connect with it, and it is the one. It is more powerful than any shaman. It is more powerful than any guide. It is what will guide you back to your body as long as you truly accept you are it.

And you came here for a reason.

Sam Believ: And like every religion has a book. Did you have to write your own book or you using some other book or.

Dave Hodges: Yeah. But I’m actually, it’s funny you say that. In the next several weeks, our book will be in the first stages of printing. We’re gonna do a few rounds of feedback to people in the community before we do the final printing of it.

But we do have our own book where we talk about the practices and that first tribe that found the mushrooms and the lessons that they learned to, to guide us to where we are.

Sam Believ: That’s cool. You have a name already.

Dave Hodges: It’s the Book of Ambrosia.

Sam Believ: Cool. What is ambrosia anyway? I remember when I was living in south of Russia when I was a kid, there was a plant called Ambrosia.

And it was kinda like, like a past plant that would just grow everywhere. And if you touch it, it like burns your hands. Is that the same thing?

Dave Hodges: Ambrosia means food of the gods.

Sam Believ: Oh, okay. Cool. What is what is your craziest realization that you got through this extremely deep plant work?

Something that like, makes you view life different forever, ever after that?

Dave Hodges: I would there’s too many that I could say that completely changed my outlook on reality. If you want something crazy, that is actually more of a warning when doing this work. I did a right, right as we were learning this potency and body rate ratio the last major overdose I did I, I started by experiencing nuclear death outside of time.

And if you imagine nuclear death. If a bomb were to go off right next to you, it would be beyond instantaneous. You remove time from that equation and you can experience as every atom is affected. The warning. And the reason I experienced that it was the day I did a ceremony the day after Russia first Atrac attacked Ukraine.

And I decided that was gonna be a focus of my ceremony. I definitely don’t recommend focusing on inter interdimensional wars, which is what I learned. There’s a lot more going on to the truth behind this push for war and destruction. Unless you’re really ready for it. I, it was a part of my path that I needed to understand and it started a, a.

Phase of ceremonies. There was actually three ceremonies over the next six months that all focused on that same topic and all brought me to the same space where I was dealing with those sort of things. But what I was dealing with were some entities that wanted all humans to experience nuclear death.

And what I saw was there were shamans on both sides, on the Ukrainian side and on the Russian side, along with these entities. Causing what we’re still experiencing today. And again, the motivation of those entities is they want all humans to experience nuclear death.

Sam Believ: Okay. Let’s go back to the legality of psychedelics in US and like the whole drug war and, you do your thing and you trip on very high doses of mushrooms and you experience deep stuff like, as far as I can see, you’re not hurting anyone. Why do you think they wanna shut you down and just the whole war on drugs, why do you think it happens?

Dave Hodges: The war on drugs is all about money. You have to understand the different players and the motivation behind it. But actually our raid was a perfect example of that. I don’t necessarily want to go into the full details of the raid, but I did manage to talk them out of continuing to raid us.

After they started raiding us I came down there yelling at them that they were violating our religious freedom. If they told me to go away, I went away and I came up with a plan with my attorneys to come back with a letter that said, Hey, if you sign this, we’ll let you into the saves and you can pack your bags and leave.

The head cop the sergeant on scene really didn’t wanna be there, and he said he couldn’t sign it, but. If we let them into the eight hour safe, so we had a bunch of safes there, but one of ’em is a professional jeweler, safe rated at eight hours for a professional safe cracker. So you have all your tools, you knew exactly what you’re doing.

Best case scenario, it takes you eight hours to get into the safe. If you let us into the eight hour safe, we’ll pack our bags and leave well. What they expected to be in the eight hour safe. And the real motivation behind all this is if we had a bunch of money, you’d expect it to be in that safe unlucky for them.

That safe just hadn’t been used, and there was nothing but some old paperwork in there. So I let them into the eight hour safe. The sergeant or the officer that caused the raid got pissed off, threw the shit on the ground, and then they packed their bags and left. But the whole motivation was a smash and grab to take money.

And when you look at the overarching war on drugs, the more drug dealers there are, the more money these people can take from the drug dealers. And if you follow that money through the asset forfeiture laws and where it goes and how it gets spent it gets spent on what they call our good things, which are equipment and training.

The people that decide what equipment gets purchased and who provide the training are the associations. These are things like the Chief of Police Association, the League of Cities, the Counter-Narcotics Officers Association, which those are replicated in every state. Sometimes even in every county, in every state and at a national level.

So this is a large group of government influencing entities who then end up with this money. To help pay politicians to get elected, and so that they also allocate even more money for this entire network. But it’s really all about money. And the easiest way to spell it out is the more drug dealers there are, the more money it there is for them to take from drug dealers.

It’s not about morals, it’s not about keeping people safe. It’s about money.

Sam Believ: But in your case, you’re not a drug dealer, you’re a church. And, as far as I know, churches don’t even have to pay taxes. Why? How can they take your money then?

Dave Hodges: What they did was illegal, but that doesn’t, they, what they did was they submitted a false affidavit to a judge, and when I say false, it was completely false.

It was a form letter that they used for marijuana clubs underground marijuana clubs in Oakland. They said that letter to the judge. Our information on it, that was enough for the judge to issue a warrant, and that’s enough to start their investigation. And their investigation could mean knocking down the doors and taking everything, and then you have to prove later that you were in the right.

Unfortunately that’s an expensive process and the vast majority of the time, if people. Aren’t truly in this for the right reasons and don’t have the legal support. The cops just get the money. And that had been what was happening to what are called Measure Z clubs in Oakland, which in 2014, Oakland, or actually 2004, Oakland passed the lowest priority for marijuana use and was one of the first cities.

It actually was the first city in the entire country to have. The legal adult use of cannabis. And ever since then, there was these Measure Z Clubs. But what the cops eventually figured out is they can kick down the doors of the Measure Z Clubs, take everything. The Measure Z clubs would never fight back, and they would just, because they didn’t really have any legal grounds to fight back.

They just had the city’s lowest priority loss. There wasn’t really anything for them to stand on. And the Measure Z would even some cases open in the exact same spot. Six months later, or several months later, or just down the street. So there was this cycle of take everything from the Measure Z Club, let them reestablish themselves and then do it all again.

And that had been going on up until when they rated me. After they raided me, that whole program got exposed and the officer that was leading it is no longer with the Oakland pd. Because we fought back, we ended up suing the city of Oakland in federal court. We went back and forth with them for a while and ended up withdrawing our lawsuit because they came up with an argument that said the, and this was not the reason we were raided, but that we didn’t have merit for the lawsuit because in the location that we’re in, we need a special use permit to be a church.

Now, most places in Oakland, you wouldn’t need a special use permit to be a church. Just happened to be the zone that we are in. Which was surrounded by two churches, we would need a special use permit to be a church. So we withdrew our lawsuit and we’ve been slowly working on getting that conditional use permit to be a church.

If they deny us that, then we go right back to court. It’s when you’re asking like why the war on drugs and what’s really going on what is causing all this horrible impact and this war on our own people. It’s not a moral decision. It’s not because drugs are wrong. It’s not because you shouldn’t be using ’em for religion or you shouldn’t be using them all together.

It really is all about money, and the difference with the church is as long as you are doing it for the right reasons and can stand up in court and protect what you’re doing, then you have some level of protection. That doesn’t mean that they won’t still do an investigation where they come take everything and then you gotta prove yourself right later.

It just means that when you go to actually sit in front of a judge and jury that there’s a good chance that the jury is gonna find in your favor.

Sam Believ: But can you ever expect to get your money back, like the money they took away from you?

Dave Hodges: Theoretically yes, but most of the time, no. In a best case scenario, you get your legal fees back. And the problem with especially what we’re facing is the only laws that protect what we do are actually at a federal level.

Going through federal court costs a lot of money. Some of the some of the. Churches who have done it and done it successfully. You’re talking about bills that can easily be five to $7 million going through court. So you’re much more worried about getting your attorney fees back than anything else because those are really the biggest expense.

But we’ll never see anything back from what they took from us back in 2020.

Sam Believ: It sounds expensive, man. Running a church in in us.

Dave Hodges: If you’re gonna do what I do and provide public access for this stuff and sit there and say, Hey, I’m right here, come get me it. It’s not gonna be cheap. If you are just talking about a small group of people and you’re not trying to put any, draw any attention to yourself you’re never gonna have any problems. You know that, that’s why the vast majority of the churches, and really the vast majority of people that we support underneath the church have small groups of friends where they use these tools between each other.

Sam Believ: Cool. And then the people that are coming to your church are they coming because they’re looking for healing or they’re looking for, spiritual exploration or what is the most common complaint they get?

Dave Hodges: We literally have everybody, everybody coming for every reason you can imagine.

We see all walks of life from. The homeless guys on the street to bankers and tech people and everything in between. We see families where their grandkids are bringing in the grandparents. We see literally every stage of life, every type of person, and they’re all coming for different reasons.

A lot of them are definitely coming for things that they hear micro doses can help with. Many of them come to just explore themselves a little deeper or try to get some answers of things that they’re going through, but it’s literally any reason any walk of life. The whole thing about this is it’s all about the personal experience.

It is, it’s not about me telling you what I’ve experienced or reading from some old book. It’s for you to actually go in and address the issues yourself and come out better.

Sam Believ: Yeah, no, I agree with that part. That’s a direct experience and no intermediaries. What’s, how does it, obviously you have a lot of expenses and you get rated and that’s expensive in the court cases. How does a church make money? What’s the business model? I run an Iowa retreat, we’re not huge, but people come in, they pay some money. That’s what I used to pay the workers and the remainder. We used to, build improvements in Medicine House and things like that. How do, how does, how do churches work?

Dave Hodges: Everybody is a little different. The way that we work is when you join the church, you own everything that is the church.

All the sacraments, we have everything else. But part of our membership agreement says you will contribute or donate towards the church to receive sacrament. So people come in and they contribute to the church and they receive the sacraments that they need. That covers the expenses in producing, providing and all of the legal bills and everything else that we have associated with what we do.

Again, we have over 125,000 members now, so

Sam Believ: it’s like a small country. What do you what’s the end goal? Do you wanna be the best, the biggest religion in the us Or what is the final, what is the best case scenario?

Dave Hodges: Everybody understands that they have a soul and understands why they’re here and what they’re supposed to do.

That is the true goal of what we’re doing is to make sure that you understand there is a way to get these answers. You can get them from somebody that loves and cares about you more than anybody else because they are you. They are what came to become you, and they know. Why you’re here, what you’ve gone through, and what you need to learn.

To me, if every human on the planet could have that experience and knew that they had the ability to have that experience, the world would be a much better place. It’s not about me or any specific person or anything like that. It’s really about you and about you learning that you have something much deeper inside yourself.

That is you.

Sam Believ: I agree with that mission. I wa I wanna do something similar. I want to wake up in a world where yesterday everyone had to see how the world feels.

Dave Hodges: I’m, I haven’t done it and I don’t necessarily feel that drawn to it myself, it, whichever path you choose to use to go in deep. For me, and what I’ve been shown is the mushrooms were the first, ayahuasca came later.

It’s, although it’s a very important technology, the original technology, it’s all built into one small mushroom that you could take and all you have to do is trust it and go in deep with it.

Sam Believ: Yeah, of course. Because with mushrooms you just take the mushroom. You don’t need to fine two ingredients and cook them.

But you should definitely try it one time. I think it’s gonna be interesting for you. What and in, in the extremely high doses that you work with are you ever afraid of losing yourself as in, you come back, you’re not maybe a bit of psychosis or something like that?

Dave Hodges: I can say I’ve lost myself several times and I’ve also helped people who, there, there is something that’s fairly common with the breakthrough dose, and especially when people don’t really know what they’re doing and don’t have a lot of guidance of feeling like you left something behind.

To me the only solution is you go back and you get it. So you’ve gotta do another dose to repair that and bring back what you lost. I’ve done some incredibly deep, heavy doses and you, you always come back. It just you have to also recognize if you come back and you’re still, you don’t feel quite right that means you just need to go in and do more work.

Sam Believ: Have you had anyone that comes to your church and you tell them like, no, sorry, we’re not gonna give you the sacrament because of such and such conditions?

Dave Hodges: Yeah, there’s a couple really important things to watch out for. One of the big ones is heart issues or especially transplanted hearts.

And I would imagine this would be similar with Ayahuasca too, although I don’t know if there’s been any, anything around it. But there was, there’s a really scary case of a 24-year-old heart transplant patient. This wasn’t at my church, but in, in all the research that we were doing who did a higher dose and her body rejected her heart science called it a.

Overstimulation of the sympa nerve or something like that. To me, my, my concern is more that what these tools do is they wake you up and they wake up every cell. So if your heart, which is not your heart, wakes up and goes, wait, I’m in a different body. That you might have some problems. I definitely don’t recommend anybody that has had a transplanted heart or really any transplanted organ or has any sort of physical issues with their heart.

Do any sort of breakthrough work, maybe even stay away from psychedelic.

Sam Believ: Yeah, maybe worst case if they’re really desperate, try microdosing or something like that. And what is your take on integration? Like, how do you help people bring it all back together into their day-to-day life?

Dave Hodges: Yeah. One of the, so when we do these doses there’s a couple things that are.

Requirements. One is you fast before the dose, ideally 24 hours before the dose. And what that’ll do is just make sure that the medicine hit, or the sacrament hits you as quickly possible. And it’s very controlled as far as the timing goes. But the other big one is after that. One immediately after the dose, we ask people questions and these are meant to be non-leading questions that try to get them to tell us more about what they experienced.

We audio record all of this, but the goal is if you say something like, I saw light, we might say was there any sort of color? Did you see anything behind the light? Just to get people to. Spell out the details of their experience as much as possible while it’s still fresh, while there’s just fresh coming out of it.

And to me, one of the most important things is then having you review that audio after the ceremony yourself, because there’ll be a lot of things that it brings up that you either forgot about or maybe didn’t realize were as important as they are with your fresh ears. And then as far as further integration, we’re available.

We have people that have had these doses that you can talk to about things that you might’ve experienced in ’em, but it’s really about you giving yourself some time to just integrate the lessons that you were shown with yourself. After the ceremony the next day is something where we tell people you can’t have anything that you gotta do.

You don’t wanna work, you don’t wanna do anything else. You just wanna focus on you and what you just went through. And then the rest of the integration is as you prepare for the next ceremony. And this may be, three, four weeks later. This might be three or four months later, but just until you really feel ready that I’ve learned everything that it tried to teach me, and I’m ready to go back and learn more.

Sam Believ: Cool. Yeah. We do something similar just with journaling, right? Giving people journals so they save information while it’s still fresh, and then go back to. Interesting man, interesting stuff. Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry about your church being closed. At least the one in San Francisco. Hope you find a big place where you can take all of your 120,000 people.

And that could be an interesting event. If quite a difficult one to organize, but.

Dave Hodges: Once we get the right building we’ll start doing regular sermons again. Before the pandemic I was doing a sermon every Sunday at four 20 we’d pass out joints and I’d get up there and talk about cannabis mushrooms and other antigenic plants, how they related to religion and the insides that I was getting through the breakthrough dose.

After the pandemic, it’s been a little harder to get people together. And we got an extra a hundred thousand people. So yeah, we were already having a hard time fitting everybody into the building. We can’t even do those events on a regular basis until we do have a space that can fit at least 500 to a thousand people.

Sam Believ: Do you ever get people making it about you? Not about the church, not about the sacrament, but being like, Dave you’re my God, or something like that.

Dave Hodges: Rarely. I think more, if anything, that there’s a lot of people that have a misconception that, that’s why I’m doing this, that haven’t met me or haven’t talked to me who think that, I’m just trying to be this guy standing on top of this thing, and it’s really not about me.

It’s really, truly about. You having the tools that you need to get your own answers. ’cause I can’t tell you why you’re here. I can’t tell you why you went through what you went through, but I can tell you how to find the answers. I can tell you this is the safe way to go into these spaces and how to ask your soul what the questions are.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It is important in this work to not make it about the people who give the plat medicines, but about the final destination itself. So it’s pretty cool. It’s pretty great to see that you, you’re conscious of that cool day. So how can people find you, if somebody wants to join your church, where do they go?

Dave Hodges: There’s a couple websites, Ambrosia Church has a lot of information on it that’s got our dosage calculator potency testing, a bunch of safety guides and a lot of other stuff. So it’s really good resource for people That will also lead you to sidedo, which is like side, but spelt with a z. Zido is the physical location that we have in Oakland where people can get their sacrament.

If people are looking to reach me directly on Instagram, it’s at Dave Hemp four 20 and I do my best to get back to everybody. But if you’re interested in the church, definitely and you’re in the Oakland area, come check out Zido. And if you’re curious about other things we do, make sure you check out the Ambrosia Church website.

Sam Believ: Thank you Dave. Thank you for sharing and I hope you give mushrooms to a lot of people and awaken their consciousness. Especially in the us you guys really need it. I just came back from us recently and it’s a really tense and really angry place.

Dave Hodges: It’s really something that needs to happen all over the world.

But for sure there, there’s a lot of need for it out here. The, this understanding that we are all one is one of the most important things that come out of this dose, that hating somebody else is the same as hating yourself. And that there really is no difference between skin colors or borders or languages.

We are all God experiencing himself in every way possible. And if the whole world understood that we’d be in a much better place.

Sam Believ: Amen to that. Dave your church sounds sounds less less weird than most.

Dave Hodges: It again, it’s really all about you experiencing the truth for yourself.

Sam Believ: Cool. Cool. Thank you Dave. Thanks. Thanks for coming on. Guys, you’ve been listening to our Oscar podcast. As always, we do the host and leave, and I’ll see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us alike wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Troy Casey, also known as the Certified Health Nut. Troy is a holistic health coach, author of Ripped at 50, and former Versace model who transformed his life through fasting, herbal medicine, breathwork, indigenous healing, and ayahuasca.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Troy’s transformation from fashion model to health advocate (01:17–03:50)
  • His early ayahuasca experiences in the Amazon and three life-changing visions (06:43–12:50)
  • Humanity’s spiritual awakening and vision for a conscious future (16:24–23:20)
  • Environmental destruction, geopolitics, and the rainforest (24:25–29:10)
  • Rockefeller history, pharma, and the Flexner report (29:36–31:02)
  • First principles of health and his 9 Pillars of Wellness (37:02–41:20)
  • Views on purpose, fatherhood, and feminine roles in raising children (38:27–40:50)
  • Urine therapy, Maori healing, and unconventional yet effective practices (42:19–44:26)
  • Ego, balance, emotional processing, and the spiritual journey (45:26–50:14)
  • Troy’s powerful definition of Ayahuasca and its healing potential (54:23–57:50)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats, go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Troy Casey at http://www.certifiedhealthnut.com or follow him on social media @CertifiedHealthNut across platforms.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Troy Casey: Ayahuasca is the most powerful herbal medicine on planet Earth. It penetrates the liver, the gallbladder, the intestines, it cleans the blood, but more importantly, it penetrates the nervous system where we hold our beliefs. So if you were raped as a child, or you were wronged or ripped off, et cetera, ayahuasca has the ability to pull this program out and help you really look at it.

And so Ayahuasca is a tool that has the ability. And sometimes you’re gonna puke it out. Sometimes you’re gonna shit it out. Sometimes a good shaman can smooth it out blow some tobacco on it and help clear the energy. There are only four human needs, food, water, shelter, and fire, and we don’t need chemicals to grow.

Food. Organics outperform GMOs and commercial farming. I think eight to one. The organics outperform, and there’s a huge difference in energetics in the world of biohacking and now peptides. Steroids and all these synthetics that are out there, people are getting caught up on oh, should I do this or should I do that?

And my message has always been for the last 20 years, get back to nature in as many facets as possible.

Sam Believ: Hi guys and welcome to AYA podcast. As always, we do the host. Sam to them having a conversation with Troy Casey, also known as Certified Health Nut. Troy is a holistic health coach, author, and a former Versace model who turned his life around through nature, natural healing, and consciousness practices.

With decades of experience in wellness, he promotes lifestyle, rooted in breath work, nutrition, emotional healing, and earth based wisdom. He’s known for his bold personality, raw authenticity, and viral content on men’s work and personal transformation. He’s booked his book, ripped at 50, explores his journey of healing, masculinity, and purpose.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Casey, welcome to the show.

Troy Casey: Thank you so much for having me, Sam. I’m always delighted to talk about medicine,

Sam Believ: Casey. I’ve first seen your content may be six, seven years ago.

I think I was looking out for like breathing exercises, so I kinda know your face. I was surprised to find out you were actually one of the. OG people that talk about ayahuasca. That was new to me. So it’s I found a video of you like 18 years ago in the jungle, so that’s pretty cool.

Tell us about your story. How did you go from Versace model to being a health knot and what’s the role medicine played in it?

Troy Casey: Yeah I put a lot of this in my book. I started out as a young man just chasing money, not really knowing, where I was going or what I was doing, and the fashion industry and being a high fashion model sounded like a good idea.

I, I didn’t know much about it. Now. 30 something years later, we see the whole Diddy party situation. And a lot of people have been implicated in the Epstein list. There was a guy who owned the agency in Paris called Models One. And then you get the Abercrombie and Fitch and Victoria’s Secret that they were all intertwined with that whole Epstein Diddy party thing.

And that was something that. I ate away at my soul. You could only go so far in that industry and I maneuvered my way into becoming a Versace model. I was at the right place at the right time in Miami when Miami was coming up. And then, and my agent helped Gianni Versace purchase that property on Ocean Drive.

And then had him use, Miami as a backdrop for the South Beach Stories campaign. And and so I was able to really maneuver my way in there. And then, the next year there was a big agent from New York that came down and they were looking through my book and, it came up on all the Versace stuff and he was like, oh, this is so last year.

That was just like, dude, that’s the height of fashion. Versace, Armani, gucci stuff like that is like the hype of, fashion, especially men’s fashion. And for someone to gate keep me and say it was like, so last year it was so soul robbing for me. And so it, it took me a little while to wake up in that scenario.

And, and I partied a lot. Drugs and alcohol were a big part of that scene. And so instead of feeling my emotions at that level of my development, I would just go out and drink and party. And that went on for quite a few years. And then eventually I had to sober up. I was wasting my potential.

And enough people bothered to tell me that, right? So anybody who has alcoholic friends out there, or drug addicted friends, always encourage them to. To live their full potential. Because eventually I listened to that and I started to sober up and it was vipasana meditation that really took me to the next level.

I went to AA and 12 step programs, which, were functional and dysfunctional all in the same. But the one thing that really stuck with me was step 11 sought through prayer and meditation. You found a better way and I always. Notice that the people that would talk about that, they had a certain qua a certain way of being.

And I really respected that. And so I was intrigued about meditation and I inquired and I heard about these meditation retreats, et cetera, and I found out about Vipasana and I, this is before the internet. I put in my application and I got some. I got some literature back and I was reading the literature about the depth of the mental defilements and where the root cause of a lot of our suffering is.

And I was in tears, reading about that. And so I sat many vipasana courses over the span of six years and that helped me awaken. And at the same time I started studying with indigenous Maori healers from New Zealand and got a real taste of. Indigenous wisdom and how powerful shamanic healing was.

They used the body, and they would, stand on the nerve centers of the body and go really deep, really fast. And, used pain or the release of your pain as a catalyst for awakening. Had some very profound experiences. Witnessed many miracles myself during that time. And at the same time, somebody turned me onto an herbal company in the Amazon rainforest.

They had the top 40 plants, dragon’s blood unto cba, Summa. Chanca Piera, really powerful herbal medicine from the Amazon, and I started putting these herbs into my body, and I had started studying herbal medicine as a model because I got into fasting, internal purification, cleaning out my liver, et cetera, and so I had.

An affinity towards herbs for a very long time. And so fast forward 15 years later, somebody introduced me to an herbal company from the Amazon. I started taking these plants and the vibration of the plants and my experience with them was extremely profound. And I started working with that company and building a business with their herbs.

And I want a trip to the Amazon. And the vendors for that company were the Shao Indians. And so I went far up river and met some of our partners researched the plants. A lot of this you can see on my YouTube channel from 2006. This was some of my first work. In YouTube. And and I’ve had a career in front of the camera.

I wanna tie it all together. And so I’ve been in front of the camera for 35 years and it’s been this whole journey of discovery of who I am and what we’re doing on this planet. And ultimately to heal myself. And to, now share that. Information with others. And so I drank the Ayahuasca for the first time with the chappo down there.

And then I stayed there for a few extra weeks. And had profound experiences and profound visions, and I’ve been living those visions ever since. And what on the internet is an expression of those visions.

Sam Believ: So you talk about those three powerful visions that Ayahuasca gave you can you share?

Troy Casey: So the first one was an amalgamation of my on-camera career. I was doing standup comedy at the time in Hollywood, and I’d been studying natural medicine as long as I’ve been in front of the camera. And the certified health nut.

Came to me. It was crystallized in the Amazon and so I laughed out loud right in the middle of ceremony that’s been unfolding for the past almost 20 years. When I got out of the jungle, YouTube was a brand new reality. And mind you, when I first moved to Hollywood, transitioning from a model to an actor, you had to beg for a piece of film from.

A USC student or something like that. And it was very expensive to get film equipment and do filming. And so in a very short amount of time, these iPhones, IMAX editing software, this phone right here is as good as any Panavision camera that came out of a truck that costs $70,000 to rent for one day.

And so this iPhone has that much power in it, right? This is 20 years later. And and then the distribution platforms, YouTube, and now, of course, instagram and other platforms. But the bottom line is when I first moved to Hollywood, the distribution platforms were network, television and films.

And and now I’m my own movie producer. I produce my own materials. In fact, I’m working with a famous director. Producer, he’s a friend of mine and he’s been following my work for a long time. He said 20 years ago when we met, I was gonna take him down to the Amazon to drink Ayahuasca, and he looked at my career and basically what he said is, the technology didn’t catch up to me.

It’s only catching up to me now. He just produced. Directed the film for Chechen Chong, and he won the Academy Award for Sling Blade back in 1996. And he did another movie with Jim Carrey called Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And so I was, I just, I did a podcast recently in Los Angeles and he was there and then we went out to dinner and it was interesting to hear his reflection of me because I was enamored with his career.

He’s a big Hollywood producer and, did, many big films. And then he’s very interested in my career and the direction it’s going. And I was grateful, to hear that reflection. So the bottom line is the first vision was Certified Health Nut was born in the Amazon crystallized, and then I came out of the jungle and all this technology was brand new.

The second one was I went down and you just explained how you lived there from Latvia and how, beautiful. The people are down there and sweet and it’s just a different kind of energy. And when I met the children down there, and I don’t have nieces or nephews, so I’ve never been surrounded by children.

And so for me to be surrounded by all these. Children in the rainforest, these little Indian children. It’s, and I was oh my God, the, these children are so beautiful, and there I was 40 and they say, you’re never ready to have children. At that time I was ready. And, but it took that experience of me being down there and during my ayahuasca ceremonies, my initial ceremonies, the spirit of my daughter came to me, a very powerful spirit. And I wasn’t married. I wasn’t in a relationship or anything. And in a very short amount of time, I conceived my first child. And then my daughter was the second child that came.

And she is a very powerful spirit. And so my family has been unfolding ever since then. Certified health nut’s been unfolding ever since then. The final vision I saw is that humanity makes it from the precipice of ecological disaster that we find ourselves in. We all know and have heard about the destruction of the rainforest, and now of course with the chem trails and the expansion of the commercial world here we see that we’re at the precipice of ecological disaster.

And and so I saw that humanity makes it, and so that’s been unfolding ever since and while I share this, and

Sam Believ: cool, Troy, it’s a really cool story. It’s a very strong strong start. And something similar happened to me. I was drinking ayahuasca. I was just in it to heal depression, and it just gave me this entire vision that now.

Led me to starting the retreat and it’s pretty crazy. It, it didn’t talk to me about the family, but my wife was already pregnant, I think when I started drinking the medicine. Actually, no, when I first drank the medicine, she didn’t she wasn’t pregnant yet. But yeah, there’s something with the medicine that a lot of times it, for a lot of people like you and me, just gives you the entire breakdown, the entire direction.

And then years later. Sometimes it takes, sometimes on the years later you realize what was this all about? But it’s something you mentioned that you said, we’re gonna make it from this cataclysm. I personally think the reason we destroy ourself is like lack of consciousness and that people are doing wrong things for the wrong reasons.

And I personally hope that maybe more people do all the. Conscious things. You talk about breathing exercises, blood medicine, maybe focus on their health. Maybe we’ll make it, but in, in your vision how are we making it out of there? Does the what, what needs to happen?

Troy Casey: There weren’t so much specifics as just the end result of, we make it. And I also believe on your point, that we have gone into ignorance to awaken consciousness, right? Because there’s two forces guiding everything. Yin yang, inhalation, exhalation, masculine, feminine, catabolic, anabolic.

There’s always two forces guiding us. And and my mentor likes to say, how can you be Luke Skywalker if you don’t have a DA Darth Vader? And so there’s always, the dark side. And so it’s integrating the both. And I do believe that’s a big part of our dualistic paradox, our dualistic reality that we’re living in.

Can you rephrase that, that, that question? ’cause I want to get into it.

Sam Believ: Personally I think that people need to wake up, conscious consciousness needs to wake up, and I believe like ayahuasca is one of the fastest way to do it. So do you what do you think, what do you think needs to happen for us to wake up and do you even agree do you think it comes from lack of consciousness or just just talking in that direction?

It’s not like a specific question.

Troy Casey: Yeah. We, so we go into darkness or the, in the Vedic scriptures, yoga. Scriptures. It talks about, the Cali Yuga, the Darkness, and it, and we hear this in astrology or the age of Aquarius. We’re going into a different cycle. The Mayan calendar talks about this, the Hopi prophecy, the eagle and the condor prophecy, talk about the dark times.

And I do believe we’re coming out of it. And however you slice it. Even the president of the United States right now talked about, going into a golden era. And and I truly believe this, again, we have two forces, yin and yang, and. Not to get political, but you always have to look at what’s on the horizon as indicators.

And I think it’s interesting that the, the main politician on the global stage is actually talking about the golden era or the golden age, whether it manifests or whether he’s. Full of propaganda. Only time will tell, right? And but we are coming out of darkness. And here’s the other thing, no matter what, man has always sat around the fire and told stories, and we tell stories to, to inspire future generations to make sure that they know that there’s a tiger in the cave, right? Or this area is potentially dangerous, or there’s a sinkhole over here, or a cenote you can fall in, so we would tell stories around the fire. This is the fire right now. This technology is the fire and the story that I’m telling because the world that I choose to create is one of balance and harmony.

I do, I postulate as a man on this planet. With the great responsibility. I’ve been gifted great power and energy and talents, and so I. Postulate that we can live in harmony with nature. There’s a scientific term called biomimicry, which states life creates conditions conducive for life. So a spider at aqueous solutions room temperature can take things from its local environment.

Build something five times the strength of steel. And this has been replicated with coral reefs and other aspects of nature. And if we can align with biomimicry what Tesla talked about, free energy zero point technology, taking abundant wireless. Free energy from the atmosphere instead of oil and destructive industries.

And some of the, oil exploration is one of the main culprits of deforestation and what they did to the schwar in, in Ecuador. Oxy Petroleum and Chevron, et cetera. And so these are destructive industries. So what can we do with constructive? And maybe you’ve seen visions in your ayahuasca ceremonies as well, your psychedelic experiences.

We can go beyond the veil of illusion of, you know this hard and fast ideas of physical material stagnation. And we can go beyond into the material. The beyond the material into the energetics of the world is what create and coalesce energy and sound effects matter. So can we speak it into existence sitting around the proverbial fire on these devices.

Speaking to existence. My vision is clean, air, water, soil, and equitable systems for all of mankind in my lifetime. And so what is an equitable system? Everyone has a fair shake to create, and so instead of this fake fiat currency. Derived world where the bankers fund both sides of the war to see the strife amongst the human beings.

And so can we create systems that are conducive for all life on the planet. And I postulate that we can right dream the impossible dream. As the Wright brothers wanted to fly like an eagle, and and Steve Jobs wanted to put a handheld computer in every man’s hand so that every man had the potential to change the world.

So this is the potential that I see and that I speak into existence using story. Using vision where there is no vision, the people will perish. And so this is the story that I’m speaking into existence. And this is the manifestation principle that I’m utilizing thought word action manifest in the flesh.

And and I like nature and I like the natural rhythms of life. And I also like technology, right? I’m using it. So can we. My question is can we do this in harmony? And I postulate that we can.

Sam Believ: Whatever we can believe we can achieve. And you mentioned so many cool topics that we can delve into.

Just like Steve Jobs put com computers in everyone’s hand. I wanna put Ayahuasca in everyone’s mo mouth. Almost everyone. Not everyone, not if you have schizophrenia. But it’s cool that you talk about, podcasts as being this bonfire where. Digital elders like yourself, you’re close to 60 now, right?

Troy Casey: I’ll be 60 at the end of the year, yes.

Sam Believ: Yeah, so digital elders talk to like 20,000 digital bonfires at the same time. We know while people are driving, but the still, the emotion is the same, right? So using technology for good I think is pretty cool. You mentioned. Trump. And I wanna switch this topic to health.

You’re the health nut Trump make America healthy again. Robert Kennedy Jr. And I know you’re passionate about this topic. Talk to us about that.

Troy Casey: I’ve studied geopolitics ever since I came outta the Amazon. So when I first went down there in 2006, I saw mountains of south of sawdust in iquitos, so mountains of trees, sawdust.

And I saw the two by fours, which were on barges that go up to Home Depot, here in the United States and other industrial world in industrial parts of the world. And I understand that, we are the problem, right? Humanity is the problem, therefore we are the solution. And so I studied geopolitics.

I’m like, okay, all the rainforest is being destroyed. It’s very important for the ecosystem. It’s a critical lynchpin to the rest of the world. And so what is my role as a man? I have a responsibility. That’s the message I came out of the jungle with and witnessing the destruction. And then I started to study industry geopolitics, things that were, causing the destruction down there. And I realized that oil exploration is one of the number one deforestation components. You cut the roads through the jungle exploring for oil deposits, and then if there are, they dig and drill and you can create, waste like Oxy Petroleum did to the schwar, which caused leukemia in those tribes.

And then if there isn’t, then you, after the bulldozers go through, then they pull out all that equipment and then they’ll give a dollar a day and a chainsaw to a local and they’ll start fell the big trees that they bring through the tributaries into the major cities and cut down the rainforest.

So this is, and then they grow the cash crops. The soy, the corn for McDonald’s beef even chocolate bananas, all these, cash crops, et cetera, coca leaves, right? And how can we do this in a sustainable way? First and foremost, don’t cut it down. And I was working with an herbal company.

If you harvest some of the herbs of the fruits or the berries that have very powerful medicinal qualities, they grow back, right? So that is one sustainable model. But the unsustainable models were, what was depicted in a book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman, which was written by John Perkins and it details the World Bank Giving in the IMF giving loans to these third world countries Ecuador Peru, Panama, Venezuela, and.

Then asking, but then who? Who gets the contracts for that money that is borrowed for those third world countries? Halliburton and Bechtel get those contracts, we did this with Iraq and so then, these American corporations go in and build infrastructure dams, road roadways, grid systems for electricity, and then they ask for the money back, right?

The World Bank ask for the money back and they don’t have the money, right? It’s a third world country. So they say, okay, give us your natural resources and a slave wage to pull it out of the earth. We see this in Africa with the cobalt and the lithium mining, the Sudan crude Iraq. Venezuela was number four.

Producer of oil. Number five. Producer is Ecuador. Number six, producer is Peru. And and number nine producer is Libya. And we saw what happened to Libya. Pipelines are what get the oil into position so it can be exported around the world. And so Afghanistan and Syria, those are both. Platforms for pipelines.

So this is the way of the world. And, I studied that. So when I saw, and I’ve been on the planet for 50 plus years, and then I see this guy Donald Trump, who’s a brash New Yorker, and I spent a lot of time working in the fashion industry in New York. And Donald Trump’s kind of a mild New Yorker.

People think he’s a sexist and a racist and all this. And so I, I see that. I see him as a very mild person, but I see him as an American and speaking up for the American way, and I tend to believe in something better than confessions of an economic hitman. And the whole situation now that he’s in, I realize the gigantic blockades with.

Oil, which is Rockefellers, which is banking, which is pharmaceutical drugs, which is agribusiness. So petrochemical byproducts are in pesticides and herbicides. It’s what helps. The chemicals stick to the plants. Pet petrochemical byproducts are in pharmaceutical drugs. And so you’ve got, Rockefellers were oil men and they created a monopoly and they bought up the railroads, they bought up whatever was distributing the oil, and they’re still doing this.

And then they created the school system here in America as well. It’s designed to dumb people down and make them good factory workers. And then the Flexner report basically got rid of all natural medicine or discredited it and only put credit to state licensed. Accredited universities that were teaching medicine, which was back then, that was considered quackery.

Herbal medicine is what our grandparents and our great grandparents always used. We didn’t have pharmacies, hospitals, doctors, or any of this 200 years ago. So all this stuff is brand new and. If you look at the story of John d Rockefeller and setting up those monopolies, it’s basically we’re living in an oligarchy, a top down situation.

In fact, JP Morgan was funding Nicola Tesla when he was developing free energy and when he discovered it. JP Morgan buried it because he, Tesla didn’t wanna meter it right. He wanted to give it free to the people. And so this is the way of the world that I’ve studied now. Now not bad or good, right?

Again, this is the yin and the yang that we live in this world. I just postulate that we can do things in a more balanced way. Things that aren’t, we don’t have to rape and pillage other lands, push people off of their land for natural resources. And I go big picture and please watch you get home or listening.

Follow along with me, Phil, philosophically. And so there are only four human needs, food, water, shelter, and fire. And we don’t need chemicals to grow. Food. Organics outperform. GMOs and commercial farming. I think eight to one. Done a lot of research in Asia and organic farmland. American military did research.

You could find this on the British Soil association.org website, and the organics outperform and there’s a huge difference in energetics in food. And Hippocrates said, let thy food be thy medicine. But we’ve gotten so far away from that. And back to the herbs. Herbs are food, herbs are medicine.

It was part of who we are, and we’ve gotten so far away from that, and we’ve sold ourselves. This whole top down oligarchy situation with, that’s all traded in the petrodollar and people are controlled with the petrodollar. And so if you look at, there, there was, you’re living outside of Medellin.

Netflix had a big show on Pablo Escobar and the Medellin cartel. He was the seventh richest man in the world. He was worth billions at a time on the Forbes list. And that was all traded in the petro dollar, in the American dollar. And and this, anytime there’s imbalances that leaves the door open for massive amounts of corruption.

And so what I learned about that Netflix special narcos is it’s not just the narco traffickers. It is also the governments that are controlling all aspects of life oil, pushing indigenous people off of their land, et cetera, raping and pillaging the land. And so the corruption runs deep. It’s not just the illicit drugs, it’s the legal drugs.

Right now we’ve got, everybody is all doped up. I think 70. Percent of Americans are on one medication or more chronic diseases at 50%. So bringing it back to Trump and now RFKI, I believe that somebody wants to do good. I know I do. And so will these men help this planet? I would like to think that yes, they will.

That will, the proof will come out in the, in, in the pudding, but the bottom line is make America healthy again. This is my platform that I’ve been working on for the last 20 years. You scroll back to YouTube in 2006, I’m singing the same song, talking about the GMOs, people all doped up on pharmaceutical drugs, et cetera, talking about oil expiration in the Amazon and plant medicine, et cetera.

And and RFK is not just talking about Make America healthy again and the food supply and the food diet, and the glyphosate, and the GMOs, et cetera. He’s also talking about addiction, recovery and psychedelics, ibogaine and other exploration. To help the fentanyl crisis, right? Which is coming manufactured from China, coming in through the cartels in Mexico.

And so it’s a big mess. And and I truly believe if we’re going to save the planet, then it’s going to happen at a grassroots individual level. Healthy me equals a healthy planet. We’re all voting with our dollars, regardless of the politicians we bring in. And so what are we spending our money on? Pay now, pay later.

Pay the farmer. Pay the doctor. It’s our choice. And so this is the clarion call that I’m putting out there on the internet, whether not everyone is gonna heed the call but everyone gets the call and I hope that ties it in. I know. I tend to talk a little bit a lot and it gets philosophical.

But I postulate that we can create peace and harmony on this planet always and forever.

Sam Believ: Yeah. You do talk a lot, which is a great thing for a podcast guest because I need to ask very few questions that you’re very self-sufficient and it is a scary picture. There’s so many issues.

As you said, once again, you had a vision that we’re gonna make it. There’s a lot of good men around there. I consider myself one of them doing good things making world a better place. And we do have tools and yeah. And then, you’re, you’ve been putting out that message for a long time and I’m sure people listen.

I’m sure that helped RFK win and get to the position where he’s at, because I think people are ready. Everyone knows enough. Thanks to the internet, thanks to YouTube. People know enough that, there’s what’s healthy, what’s unhealthy? People are fed up enough. And speaking of RFK, I’m a big fan of him.

It’s my dream to interview him. And I know one day I will because he does speak about his son drinking ihu with like tears in his eyes and it really helped him and it’s amazing. So let’s switch to the more positive side of things. You’re almost 60 years old. You look amazing. Your health not, you know a lot about health.

Tell us, what did you do to stay fit? What can people do your favorite things to stay healthy apart from Ayahuasca, obviously.

Troy Casey: Yes. I put this in my book, ripped at 50, A Journey to self-love. Because I have so much experience and sometimes it’s overwhelming for people, so I wanted to chunk it down into first principles as they use in.

Physics or science. You can’t have this without that. And so every, we’re made outta water. So hydration’s very important to pay attention to. We’re made of the earth materials. So nutrition’s very important to pay. Pay attention to the. The source of all life on planet earth is the sun. And so we’re electromagnetic beings.

So sunlight and grounding is very important for us. These are axioms. They’re first principles. They’re necessities, they’re non-negotiables every day. And I think in the world of biohacking and now peptides and steroids and all these synthetics that are out there. People are getting caught up on oh, should I do this or should I do that?

And my message has always been, for the last 20 years, get back to nature in as many facets as possible. So I have the nine pillars of health, the seven factors of stress that destroy health and the five detoxification pathways that restore health. And so it’s a good understanding to understand these first principles that the number one.

Pillar that I have is legacy, purpose, or dream where there’s no vision, the people will perish. And so it’s important for man to have purpose. I do postulate that procreation is prime directive. So as I came out of the jungle, very lit up with nature inside my consciousness, my nervous system, et cetera, I came back with a strong desire to start a family.

And so I do believe this is at the cornerstone of being a human being. And you’re gonna need your health to pro, to procreate. And I do believe that women, that’s job number one, to raise the children, nourish and nurture the children. So when I work with men, it’s a good idea to figure out what their effortless genius is.

And, what they’re good at and what the world needs. And that’s the essence of a business to solve a problem and to go into what you’re good at instead of just getting a job. That can be, that can be problematic for a man. And but for women, I think job number one is having children.

Not that a woman can’t go and start a business and do whatever you know, anyone wants to do. I’m not here to stop that. I’m just here to say that is. Probably the most important job is for the future of the species is nourishing and nurturing the children. And I say that as a stay at home father where I chose to be with my children.

Luckily, as an entrepreneur, I had the ability albeit through the ups and downs of being an entrepreneur, but being available for my children the majority of the time. And I think it’s so important. So hopefully your viewers will understand that man needs purpose. And for a woman, I do believe that having children is purpose enough.

And so the nine pillars, nature, hydration, nutrition, sleep. This is non-negotiable. We’re wired to the celestial realm, the moon and the sun. Movement is a necessity, not a luxury. And so walking’s the best exercise. You just understanding these basic principles have as we’ve become domesticated.

Sitting, driving, texting it’s a good idea to understand, all of this, to live an optimal and vital life so that we actually have something to contribute to the greater parts of the world. So I put all this curriculum in my book and then you can download it for free on my.

The nine pillars of health certified health nut.com, you can go down there and it’s a free download for everyone and you can put it up on as a checklist. And so these are, again, axioms, non-negotiables, first principles, foundation principles. You can’t have a great life without having all these, or if you want a great life and you want a big vision, you’re gonna need your health to achieve that.

And so I put that all in my curriculum.

Sam Believ: Yeah, see, I see why you wrote a book. You definitely have the information just exploding out of you. It’s almost hard to contain. So I have an idea. You should come to Lara. It’s a very calm place and you can start writing your new book, which is ripped. At 60 as the time has come, it’s the other stuff is outdated.

Interestingly enough, I realize I’m a stay at home father as well, even though, we all live here at the same property. It’s cool because my kids can come visit me in the office here nearby. Talking about health I want to continue about that a little bit. I remember when I first heard about Ayahuasca, I was like really negative about it.

I was like, what do you mean drinking, taking drugs and puking in the jungle? You must be crazy, right? And I was very skeptical. Then I slowly warmed up to it and now I am. Embracing it and spreading the word. So roles have reversed. But I remember when I was getting ready for this interview, I was like, Troy’s a really cool guy, and he talks about those things, but this urinal therapy and all this stuff is, is a little over yeah, I felt resistance.

So I wanna be proactive this time and not resist stuff that I don’t know. So talk to us about, the craziest, the weirdest things you discovered that actually work.

Troy Casey: Like Ayahuasca, I hear right? I hear. Ooh, power. Woo. What is that? Tell me more. I hear about the Maori healers I talked about earlier.

They use sticks and stones and they stand on you. And people scream bloody murder. Oh, really? Where, how can I sign up? When are they coming? Ayahuasca makes you puke. Visions. Oh, where, let me know. Oh, urine therapy. The yogis did this. It’s a path to enlightenment. It’s a tool in the toolbox.

Oh wow. Let me try, let me see what happens. Pie, a classical Chinese medicine that predates traditional Chinese medicine. Even acupuncture is foreign to a lot of people. Sicking needles in you. I just came from acupuncture, actually. Cupping, bruising the skin, bringing the blood bloodletting, which is also classical Chinese medicine, which you know, is the slapping.

And so all very interesting, heal the human body, heal. Heal my consciousness. This is a tool in the toolbox. I have pain in my body, pain in my consciousness. Trauma. I wrote, I wrote part of my book. I don’t like to stay stuck on, on, on childhood drama or whatever. And it I appreciate my parents.

But, I had my fair tear of challenges and when I did research on natural childbirth, my parents were fist fighting in the womb, and the drugs that they used in the sixties and pulled me outta my mom’s vagina, knocked out cold. So I did some of this research and okay.

Where are my challenges as a being as a man? Here. And so I hear things and I, oh, that sounds interesting. Oh, let me explore that. Oh, that sounds interesting. Let me explore that. Oh, little death, oh, def. Divine. Divine, the, with the ayahuasca, your ego death, okay I hear that.

Let me experience this. This is human exploration and I’m on a healing path to. Understand myself, understand the world, and and also I have my own dark side, my own shortcomings, right? And, as a father, as a man of this earth I choose to be, as peaceful as possible, right?

I got into alcoholism and drug addiction when I was younger because I was trying to kill the pain. And so I choose to deal with the pain, the emotions, whatever it is, and I’m still going through that. At 60 years old, you think you arrive or you think have achieved a certain level?

I think the Zen monks, they say, chop. Would carry water before enlightenment and chop wood carry water after enlightenment. And, you’re still, every, no one here gets out alive. We’re still on this path, but I choose the road less traveled instead of anesthetizing myself with sugar or pornography and entertainment, which I have done my fair share of.

Womanizing, I have done my fair share, but I choose the highest vibrational path because the downside of the upside of, let’s say drugs for example, there’s always a crash. And so how can I walk the middle path? How can I find peace and harmony as much as possible? The vicissitudes of life are always here, the ups and downs of life.

My meditation teacher used to say, things in the life that you want to happen don’t happen. And we have we have aversion to that or things we want in life. We cling and we have craving for, and then things we don’t want, we have aversion towards and clinging and aversion and clinging and addiction and.

And so it’s like we are reacting to our polypeptides, our chemical messengers inside of our own human body. And it’s like the rat race, samsara the yoga traditions call it. And a big part of my goal is to stay as balanced as possible. Stay as balanced as possible and then also offer what I have discovered in human exploration out to another brother and sister that may be going through the same thing as me.

And i’m here to offer the olive branch. Many years ago I had problems with my digestion. Okay? I study fasting, herbal medicine, juicing. I got some really good results on this. And Hey brother, you’re going through some problems. Hey, try this, right? This worked for me and maybe it’ll work for you, maybe it doesn’t.

Okay. Throw it away. Do Bruce Lee take what’s you study with everyone. Take what’s useful, discard the rest. Make it your own. You can learn quickly from someone who’s living a life that you don’t wanna live. You recognize, okay, I learn. All right, compartmentalize that and then take what’s useful and make it y your own.

And so you’re a walking Tai chi, you’re a walking qigong going through this world as we’re. Going through entropy and our tissues are solidifying, right? We call ’em out as a baby. We’re all children of God. We’re all spiritual beings on this journey. And so how much can I learn and how much can I balance through this learning?

And then how much can I share for that my fellow brother and sister, and bring more balanced peace and harmony to the world? And I also postulate Sam that a, maybe this is just my own big little ego trip. And maybe this is life. You’ve gotta deal with a bunch of bullshit. And then life is also beautiful on many other le levels, right?

And this is the life, the vicissitudes and the ups and downs. But I follow all the ancient sages and they say walk the middle path. And this is part of the middle path. Drinking your own urine or practicing some ancient classical Chinese healing methodology. These are just tools in the tools.

Toolbox to discover who you are, just like Ayahuasca is. And ultimately we are all God creators. We are all imbued with the power of the creator. And I think Jesus, that’s the story of Jesus, right? There is no ultimate death, right? He was crucified. And then three days later he comes back ain’t nothing happened to me.

I’m walking free. And and I do believe that there is somewhat of. A revolving door. There is no death. Ultimately, we are going through different dimensional transitions and how aware can your soul, your spirit, how aware can your soul be transitioning from one dimension to the next?

I’ve been to the spirit world with these powerful psychedelics and and I’ve come back and so I like to. I like. Postulate that we’re always there. It just depends on how aware you are in all dimensions, all places at all times. How aware are you? And we’re in the physical realm, right? We’re in this physical body, in this physical realm, so it seems so dense.

The emotions, the energy and motion seems so intense. Neck pain and back pain, which is emotional pain, which is our mental defilement solidified into our body.

Sam Believ: We gotta keep an open mind and not judge too soon. And as you say, Bruce, Lisa take a bit of everything from everywhere and just learn.

You talk about ego as well. I also sometimes think, I’m crazy that I even try. It’s definitely an ego trip, but I think you do need to have a bit of ego to, to to believe in yourself, to sorta strive for bigger things. Just so I think there’s a lot of positive to our ego.

You mentioned digestion.

Troy Casey: I think there’s a lot of spiritual bypassing in the spiritual community that like, you gotta kill your ego, that there’s yin and yang. You need the ego to get outta bed in the morning. And and if you’re a man walking in this earth and you’re like, I feel responsible for the future of this planet and what’s to come.

And and I wanna participate in that. And so you’re gonna need an ego, otherwise you’re just a leaf in the wind.

Sam Believ: Yeah I’m a leaf, I’m a leaf in the wind with a little bit of ego, like trying to combine the two, the best of the both worlds. But yeah, so the, I definitely don’t hate my ego, but I try to limit the negative ex negative parts of it. So you, me, you mentioned digestion.

For me personally I was. Struggling with digestion issues a lot, and then they magically went away when Ayahuasca, when I started drinking ayahuasca, even though it was not the main thing for me because of the purging and all this stuff. And it brings me to last question to you today is I really love your explanation of ayahuasca.

Like I’ve seen one video of you at the beach and you like really passionately for three minutes, describe Ayahuasca. Can you do it for us? Even though, and I’m sure people know by now, but still I just like your version of it.

Troy Casey: And I have to give a big shout out to my mentor, the great gringo shaman down in the Amazon, Scott Peterson.

And I made a lot of videos with him and one of my very first videos on a digital camera, this was before these phones came out. It was a Sony digital camera. And I think he I have it somewhere on the internet, but. And I like to explain it to him almost verbatim because he was such a coherent voice with the medicine and I learned immense amounts of knowledge from him.

So Scott Peterson, like used to like, to explain it like this. Ayahuasca is the most powerful herbal medicine on planet Earth. It penetrates the liver, the gallbladder, the intestines, it cleans the blood, but more importantly, it penetrates the nervous system where we hold our beliefs. It’s like a system dfr.

So if you were raped as a child, or you were wronged or ripped off, et cetera, it’s going to help you look at this. Unconscious program. Maybe it’s running in the background. Maybe you have anger or some type of trauma trigger experience from the, and rightfully right? We’ve been wronged, et cetera. And but Ayahuasca has the ability to pull this program out and help you really look at it like it dissolve the veil of illusions.

That we have in our day-to-day life, and we put on this mask to go to work and we put on this mask to be in our relationship, et cetera. And Ayahuasca has the ability to, to take all those masks off and. Come down to the essence of, who and what we are. And ask ourselves, Hey, this program is running.

It’s taking a lot of your energy. Do you wanna forgive this? Do you wanna let it go? Do you wanna understand it? Do you wanna process it? But it’s sucking your life force out. And so Ayahuasca is a tool that has the ability and sometimes you’re gonna puke it out, sometimes you’re gonna shit it out. Sometimes, a good shaman can smooth it out, right? Blow some tobacco on it and help clear the energy. Maybe some floral water bring in the angels. And it’s a tool in the toolbox. And, that’s the best way I know how to explain the ayahuasca. And and let me tell you, I have roared like a lion puking my guts out and and gratefully right?

And other times I have not puked, but wish I did. And and I’ve always left the jungle, more peaceful, more understanding, more. Powerful. If you go back to my original visions that I am living to this day and preaching exactly my experience I think Ayahuasca is the most powerful herbal medicine, the most powerful.

Definitely one of the most powerful spirits spiritual tools that I have ever encountered.

Sam Believ: Thank you, Troy. Let’s wrap it up on this beautiful note. I definitely hope you come visit us sometime here at LoRa and we can puke together and have good time. Meanwhile, for people listening working day, find more about you. Where can they get your book? What are your handles on socials if they wanna learn more about you?

Troy Casey: Y Yeah. Certified health nut.com. We’ve got plenty of resources over there for everyone. Free downloads. Please get on my newsletter. And so stay up to date with me for live retreats, et cetera. Certified Health Nut branded across the internet. Follow me online on your favorite platform, certified Health Nut.

And then yeah, my YouTube channel. I’ve been there. For 19 years now. And so I’m on YouTube as well. And I appreciate you having me on this call. And together we’re here making the world a better place.

Sam Believ: Beautiful, beautiful guys. You should definitely check out Troy’s videos. They’re really good and really fun. And I recommend that as I was doing this research. I enjoyed it a lot and I’ve seen your videos in the past as well. Thank you guys for listening. As always, we do the hosts and believe, and I will see you in the next episode.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with David Londoño.

David is a Colombian psychologist and researcher at ICEERS (International Center for Ethnobotanical Education, Research, and Service). With over 20 years of experience, he focuses on the therapeutic use of Ayahuasca, safety protocols, and integration practices. David bridges Western psychology with traditional Amazonian wisdom, helping improve mental health outcomes in modern plant medicine contexts.

We touch upon topics of:

  • David’s personal journey into Ayahuasca and clinical psychology (01:11)
  • The therapeutic potential and risks of Ayahuasca (03:02)
  • The AyaSafety course and best practices (04:28)
  • How to properly prepare, serve, and integrate Ayahuasca (07:39)
  • Psychological screening and who should avoid the medicine (11:48)
  • What integration really means and why it matters (14:17)
  • Cultural differences: Colombian vs. Western attitudes (19:08)
  • Magical realism and the spiritual worldview of Colombia (25:18)
  • What “bad trips” really are and how to understand them (29:05)
  • Ayahuasca as a tool for depression, trauma, addiction, and grief (34:16)
  • Reconnecting with self, nature, and spirituality through Ayahuasca (38:07)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about David Londoño by searching “David Londoño psychology” on Google to access his professional profiles and connect with his work.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

David Londoño: People that live in the jungle try ayahuasca because they are having difficulties. They need to learn how to deal with the coldness of the night bear. Or they go and try ayahuasca because they lost some objects and they need to find the object. But when Western people drink ayahuasca we go with often with mental health difficulty.

No we go after a breakup. We go because we have depression, we have anxiety, we cannot sleep. Very different kind of participant. They have different kinds of intentions we can divide the world with in three different stages. The preparation for the ceremony, during the ceremony and after ceremony.

Thinking about the preparation of the ceremony, we think that in general it is necessary a help form to check if the person is ready in terms of physical health. And then we have the, during the ceremony, indigenous people teach that in order to. Facilitate properly. Ayahuasca a guide needs a long training.

It’s very hard to learn, takes a long time and requires very specific skills. It’s not based on only on good intention, but in developing certain strengths in the mind, in the body, in the field, spiritually. And then we have the, after the ceremony and after ceremony starts, what we can call the integration process, which means how to take what we receive.

To ceremony, how to apply that into our day-to-day life.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to our podcast as always. Really the host, same of. Today I’m having a conversation with David Londono. David is a Colombian psychologist and a researcher at RCRs, the International Center for Athena Botanical Education, research and Service. He specializes in the psychological foundations of ayahuasca work with the focus on safety integration and therapeutic use.

David Bridges clinical insights with traditional Amazonian knowledge and brings a unique. Perspective informed by his Colombian roots, exploring themes like spiritual bypassing, trauma healing, and the cultural context of plant medicine. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Yra connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, David. Welcome to the show.

David Londoño: Hello, Sam. Hello to everyone from is my pleasure to be here and thank you for the invitation. It’s good to be here.

Sam Believ: You’re welcome. David tell us a little bit about your story. Your growing up in Columbia and how, what brought you to work with with the Oscar and with I Sears?

David Londoño: Yeah, it is, a long story. It started more than 20 years ago. I was living in Colombia and I was studying psychology. And while I was studying psychology, I started to assist to ceremonies. Ceremonies in my country, no. And lead by indigenous people. And I became really interested in the potential of ayahuasca for healing, for personal growth, and for spiritual openness.

And I saw a lot of very very therapeutic powerful and very fascinating. Processes around ayahuasca. I started to became really interested while I was very young. And after finishing my studies in psychology, I traveled to Argentina and I started to work there with I Wask guide helping him.

And while I was in Argentina someone told me, if you really want to learn more about. To work with plant Mac, you need to go to a source, you need to go to a jungle, you need to move to a jungle. And I thought that it was a good advice and I moved to Peru, to a place in Peru and Amazon that is called Terra.

I started to work there in a retreat center as a therapist and helping people with their integration and studying there with in the area with different traditional healers. While I was there I was still amazed about the therapeutic potential of ayahuasca, but I also started to realize that more or less often people get harm too, and people develop different kind of difficulties.

Some people develop psychological problems. Some people have physical problems. Some have, some people have energetical problems. And it was really sad because people went there to receive healing, but ended receiving some sort of harm. So I started to pay a lot of attention to safety and to integration, and I realized that in order to promote safety and wellbeing for non-indigenous people, tr trying ayahuasca.

It is necessary to consider other kind of framework, eh, or approach and that regard psychology and psychotherapy has a lot to, to offer. So I start to to be very interested in this bridge between psychology, psychotherapy and medicine. And after six years there, I joined ICE E and India, ice EI work with Za and we.

Studied a lot safety and a lot ethics regarding AYA use in non-native context. And we talk with scientists, with psychiatrists, with psychologists, with facilitators, with guys, with retreat centers in order to learn more what are the best practice to promote safety and health and good integration of this kind of work for western people.

And we started to offer a course on re that is called I Safety, a course directed to Toward Ayahuasca Diets. And I’m, after 20 years, I’m still very interested in this bridge between psychology, psychotherapy and plant, in particularly Ayahuasca, San Pedro and Amazonian nations. And yes, that’s, that is like the summary of it.

I work in the IS support center and we receive. Constantly consultation from different parts of the world, of people that have some sort of difficulty around plant medicine some sort of problem, some sort of conflict, some sort of confusion and so on and so forth. So we pay a lot of attention of to that, to these difficulties and to how to prevent them, how to work with them when they appear.

Sam Believ: I’m not Colombian. I’m originally from Latvia, but I live in Colombia. And I just like you, I also started my journey with the medicine here in Colombia. And my first ceremonies, they were, Colombian style ceremonies around big cities in Colombia, like around Bogota. It’s like a finca.

Their shaman comes and people come and it’s all kinda like last minute and you just come over, they give you a cup and you just bring your own mattress and then you share a bucket with someone and you figure out yourself so to style. So it was maybe not optimal from the point of view of how, for example, we do the ceremonies or how I think it should be done.

But I got lucky I wasn’t hurt by it. I was actually. Still healed and I had good result, but I’ve met so many Colombians that, and when I tell them what I do, they’re like no. It’s like this is dangerous. And they all have a story of some long, far away uncle who got psychosis. And so I think about it a lot.

And also think about, the dangers of it as well. And obviously. Here at Laro, we have had more than, several thousands of people. And the cases where people feel worse afterwards are extremely rare. I don’t know, I can only recall less than five people that felt destabilized.

And then with the hub they received, they got better than before. But is a very strong tool, and I believe that sometimes it’s just not done properly. And there’s definitely this part missing. The part that you’re studying the safety the preparation, the container, the integration.

So talk to us, how should it be done properly to make sure that people have predominantly positive experiences and productive experiences and not, the ones that make them feel worse afterwards.

David Londoño: This is a very important question and also very complex question. No because depend on the participant, depend on the context, be depend on the background of the participant.

Depend on the previous experience with the participant and so on and so forth. There are many different factors here, but in, in a general term, you can think about three different stages. And I’m talking about, I was in non-native context. No because native indigenous people. Know really well how to work with Ayahuasca in data in their context.

They are masters of it, and they have been working with ayahuasca for thousands of years. Eh, we have nothing but to learn from them. But in non-native context, like in cities and when the participant come from western cultures, different factors. On one hand because people that went there they don’t have the cultural knowledge and the cultural background in order to deal with altered state of consciousness and in order to deal with ayahuasca in order to deal with massive.

Contact with your own unconscious, sometimes with your own child, sometimes with your own pain, with your own suffering, with your own emotions that have that ha has been repressed for years. And suddenly to be in contact with all of that can be difficult and sometimes can be overwhelming.

And we also lack the foundation for the spiritual openness that often ayahuasca tend to create. And if you are there in the middle of ceremony and Sony, you are having visions of the spiritual world. That can be pretty and amazing. But for some people that can be also very scary. If you are, for instance having contacts with your, with the, with your ancestors or with people that already pass away for some people that can be really interesting, but for some people can be very difficult to handle.

No. And very different And our own day-to-day experience of life. No. So coming back to a original question, no. We can divide what we in three different stages? No, the preparation for the ceremony, during the ceremony and after ceremony. Thinking about the preparation of the ceremony we think that in general it is necessary a health form to check if the person is ready in terms of physical health.

If the. Blood pressure. If the heart rate, if the general sense of strength in the body, if the, general system of the body are working fine in order to have this generally strong experience that ACA represents and if there could be or not any kind of interaction with medication or it’s antidepressive.

For instance amazing for the blood pressure and so on and so forth, because ayahuasca is not for everyone. This is one, one thing that we need to take into account. Then we have something that we would con consider as a first interview because not only physically, but also psychologically.

Not for everyone and some people with what is calling psychology complex trauma. Some people with difficult issues around control, some people with difficulties in the relationship with reality, like for instance, in psychosis or in his schizophrenia or in borderline personality disorder are not.

The best candidates to drink ayahuasca. And if for those cases, ayahuasca can bring more danger and healing. And that’s something that is necessary to take into account, doing appropriately screening. And then we have the preparation, the intention, the diet and so on and so forth. And then we have the, during the ceremony and during the ceremony.

Indigenous people teach that in order to facilitate properly ayahuasca a guide needs a long training. It because it’s a very delicate process, eh, is very hard to learn, takes a long time, and requires very specific skills. It’s not based on only on good intentions, but in. In developing certain strengths in the mind, in the body, into an atic field spiritually too.

The guide that offer has to be extremely well prepared. And nowadays we are finding people that just learning two months or in three months and start to facilitate ceremonies. And that essentially represents a risk for the. And then we have the, after the ceremony and after ceremony, eh, starts what we can call the integration process, which means to, how to take what we receive in the ceremony and how to apply that into our day-to-day life.

How to take the insights to, to, to everyday lives. How to make sense of the visions, how to understood the dynamics that appear during the ceremony. How to deal with the messages that we received. With the lack of messages and all of that sometimes requires help and sometimes requires another person to help us to make sense of it and to avoid difficult and dangerous places and to make the most of it.

And that’s what we can call generality integration stage. So in, in the three stages, there are a lot of factors to take into account and it is a complex process, know how to guarantee really safety for a participant. And requires a lot of dedication from, for, from the people that organize the sessions.

And, coming back to an original question, the people that live in the jungle normally have different kinds of questions when they try and drink ayahuasca and all people that live in the jungle, for instance, try ayahuasca because they are having difficulties when they have to go at night to fish.

Something because it’s too cold. So they need to learn how to deal with the coldness of the neighbor, or they go and try air because they lost some objects and they need to find the object. What they deal with. They are dealing with companies that are extracting wood from their territories. And the questions are about how to deal with the companies that are extracting things.

Wood or the water or the oil. So they have different kinds of intentions. But when Western people drink Iowa we go with often with mental health difficulty. No we go after a breakup. We go, because we have depression, we have an anxiety, we cannot sleep. We have post-traumatic disorder.

We have, eh. Difficulties to finding a partner and so on and so forth. So it’s a very different participant and this other kind of participant requires no kind of integration process. And in regard, we need knowledge from integrational world, but we need also knowledge from our own culture in order to make the most of it and to guarantee as much.

Yeah,

Sam Believ: that’s a very good explanation. Thank you. The analogy I like to use is ayahuasca is a very strong tool. It’s a very powerful tool for mental health and for many other things. But if you think about tool, for example, if you take a hammer, you can take a hammer and you can use it to build a house, or you can take a hammer and you can kick.

Punch someone in the head and kill them. So the tool doesn’t change. What changes is the intention and the professionalism of the person that uses the tool. For example, somebody can hit their finger and, make it, make their nail blue because they don’t know how to use it. But somebody can make very nice things with that tool.

As I like to say is if you have a real medicine, real ayahuasca or jaha, if you have real shaman. From tradition, who knows exactly what he’s doing, who’s been trained, and then you follow all the instructions that the retreat provides you that talk about the things that you talked in preparation, then it’s it can be very life changing and very safe.

So it’s less about the tool, it’s more about how we use it. What I wanna talk to you about, because I don’t have that many Colombians coming to my retreat, I think I interviewed. Joe a writer. He’s Colombian, but he grew up in US and I interviewed my shaman we interviewed him. He’s he’s Colombian, but so it’s pretty rare.

And I want to talk to you about, how does it feel to be Colombian? Here if I’m not a Colombian, but I’m dealing with those cultural misconceptions every day. And working on slowly rebranding this country from drugs to medicines. How does it feel, you’re in Spain for example when you say you’re Colombian, do people always say, cocaine and Pablo Cobar, and like how does it feel?

How do you react to that? And the other part of this question is. Being a Colombian and growing up in this culture what have you observed as an attitude of people towards ayahuasca or jaha as it’s called here?

David Londoño: In for Colombian people? You mean, or Colombian? Yeah. Yeah.

It’s interesting. Yeah, indeed there are many prejudices around Colombia and people imagine. Some sort of territory full of coka and war and, narco traffic and a huge jungle and people, used using small boats in order to move from one river to to, to the next one.

And a very complicated place in terms of war and so on and so forth. But indeed, Columbus is a huge country. Yes, has jungle, but has many cities and many urban areas. The conflict around narco Traffic Center only in particular spots in the area. Many places in Colombia are, were very safe to visit.

So it is very sad, these spread that are still very installed in, in many different countries and colo is full of different treasures among them. Many different ethnic groups that are still alive and that keep taking care of their knowledge and their traditions and keep taking care of the earth and honoring their own cultures and fighting for survival in.

In one times. And what kind of attitude do I find in the people regarding ayahuasca and j? Normally there are 2, 2, 2 kinds of attitudes regarding plant in general. On one hand, we have the prejudice, people that believe that, this psycho is a psycho or it is some sort of drug that people try to avoid in themselves and to some sort of recreational consumption.

And that is dangerous and that is illegal and that we have to be very afraid of, these plans because can make us crazy and so on and so forth? No. And we have the other polarity and other polarity. I think that is almost as dangerous as the first one, which is these plans are the magical stuff, the magical one that, that are going to touch us and gonna fix everything.

So one night he’s going to fix our. Addiction or depression. Our existential crisis, our childhood wounds and we need used to go there and to drink taboo. And everything is going to be fixed from one night to a, to an to the next day. And if you check in your YouTube, there are many videos around how I was change my life in one day.

And it’s very popular among Hollywoods. Celebrities. And I think that is also problematic because it’s not true. Change requires a lot of work, long-term work and a lot of commitment and implies a lot of time often, and the good methods and often is not just about ayahuasca, but requires other kind of complementary approach.

It’s not a shortcut. I was, it’s not a shortcut. It’s can be in good hands with the proper facilitation, preparation, integration can be very powerful and can bring a lot of help. But it is not a shortcut. And we try, I was, has a, as a shortcut probably we are going to be disappointed.

So in terms of opinion, that’s what I find normally these extremes.

Sam Believ: Yeah, definitely. I’ve seen both myself, I’ve observed both sides myself and the difference I think here in Columbia as well is that this is a land where magic is pretty much still very alive. There is people actively use plants. The every market you go to, it has plants and it has.

The ambulance and chants and stuff like that. And it’s very, RIA is something that, people still talk about daily and, they say Columbia is a land of magical realism. I don’t know if you being Colombian how do you see it? Because, there’s songs like, it’s it’s a big part of the culture.

So just talk to us about that. I’m just curious to know. What how is it, being a Colombian and growing up in this culture, and then how does Ayahuasca play a part in all of that?

David Londoño: Yes. A, it’s an interesting question because yes, indeed in the cultural framework of, in general Latin America it is more or less common to.

To consider things as spirits and, energies and to understand that certain places are alive and that nature is sin synt and has consciousness and that the, our ancestors play an important role in our present lives. And that is possible to, possible and common to have certain relationship with the spiritual world.

And we, in Colombia, we grew having that as some sort of per granted experience. No, it is like what we can call normal, but it is true that from our perspectives and from people that. Born in our cultures, all of that seems like magic. So what we consider magic from the outside for traditionally oriented people is very regular part of life and the other way around.

That’s what I mentioned as a cultural container. No on the cultural framework. That give us a person some resources and some possibilities or some limitations. For instance I live in in, in Spain and in general in, in Europe, I can find Setan tendency to, but we can call nihilism No.

And to skepticism and to a very strong disconnection from NATO and from the spiritual world. So that’s is a very different cultural imprint when you are going to work with Plant Ma and can be, can be challenging to enter into our territory in which the rules are different and the framework is different and the paradigm is different, but can be also very enriching because you learn a lot when you participate in our cultures.

Sam Believ: Definitely. I think the indigenous people, even in big cities in Colombia, they, the culture is still very much so mixed so that they’re some of the culture of plant medicines and connection to nature, it still remained mixed in with even in big cities. And I guess that’s a good thing when it comes to working with medicine.

Also I’ve heard somewhere that Columbia is in the top three of the countries in the world as a, based on the percentage of the population that have tried ayahuasca, I think it’s somewhere around like half percent or click in between half percent and 1%, which is sounds very little, but it is actually still quite a lot comparing to to the rest of the world.

So let’s talk about bad trips. What are bad trips? Are they really bad? What to do with them? Should we avoid them, et cetera. What is your opinion?

David Londoño: Yeah, it is an important subject. Generality. The concept of bad trip comes from psychic work, and it is. From the concept you have this notion of trip no.

Which originally is very associated with drugs and with recreational drugs and with drugs used to entertain yourself or to avoid certain pains or certain suffering that you can find in your own life. When you try Ayahuasca or master plan work, the approach is very different in one hand because we don’t drink or I think what we should not approach ayahuasca as a recreational substance or as something to avoid life or avoid or own difficulty, but indeed is something that.

Can help us to connect with ourselves and to connect with our own lives and to connect with others. And that sometimes implies certain time suffering because if we have been trying to avoid, for instance, our own anger or our own sadness or our own grief for some years and suddenly we try ayahuasca and ayahuasca in order to develop the therapeutic process.

Make us to connect with these difficult emotions and to, for instance, to to contact our own sadness or our own despair or our own anger. We can believe that is quotation marks a bad trip, but indeed is part of the therapeutic effect of the plant that is, you know helping us to touch.

To go through all of that in order to elaborate those moments of our life. And those unresolved wounds and so on and so forth can be painful. But it is for a good reason. It is part of the work and sometimes people are confronted with very difficult, situations of their lives or very difficult memories or very difficult relationships, and they ended thinking oh, it was a bad trip because it was not I was not feeling happy during or afterwards.

But indeed from the therapeutic angle, it was a very good therapeutic experience because help the person to real life, all of that, and to go through it and to. Liberate part of it and to have realizations and so on and so forth. Depend on the perspective, but also sometimes people have journeys in which because a lack of preparation, a lack of screening, a lack of integration, or just bad facilitation during the night, people get harmed.

People get experience with aset of can be traumatic, that can be harmful, that people drink too much equal drink too fast. Just today I was talking with a person that drink more than 10 times in just one month without preparation and without integration and the person end developing some sort of anxiety disorder.

Sometimes what people report as a problem, it is a real problem and it’s not an therapeutic eh outcome. Eh, it is necessary to have some sort of discernment about what was going on there. It was a therapeutic or indeed something went wrong and requires to be addressed in order to, make the people feel stable and with good orientation. Again,

Sam Believ: definitely Ayahuasca has to be taken very carefully and with a lot of respect and preparation. I agree with that. And bad trips sometimes can be very productive as well. Let’s let’s take it to the more positive side. Let’s talk about, the benefits and therapeutic potential of ayahuasca with depression, addiction, grief, and trauma.

David Londoño: The therapeutic benefits of ayahuasca? This is a big question. No, on one hand, people often call ayahuasca a master plant, and that comes also from the. Indigenous wisdom and the indigenous knowledge I’m from the indigenous perspective and from the traditional indigenous perspective plants are sentient and alive.

They are not just an object that is there in order to, to humans, take advantage of them. But, soul and have intentions, and you have, you can deal a relationship with them and they can teach you different types of knowledge. So when you drink ayahuasca ayahuasca can teach you and can teach you about many different things.

And that can be extremely therapeutic. I ask county, you have to handle certain situations. I you have to deal with. Certain emotions. Aya ask can tell you how to grieve. I ask can help, you, can tell you about how to, improving your work with your family and so on and so forth. It is to visit a teacher.

No, a very old and wise teacher that, that’s in one side on the other side ayahuasca facilitates introspection. So when we drink Ayahuasca, it is easier to go inside of us. Essentially develop more self knowledge, and that can be extremely therapeutic because if we know ourselves better we can essentially deal with the challenges of life with more preparation and with more wisdom.

No we need to know ourselves to. To live better with ourselves than with others. And self knowledge is like an essential aspect of life for many different ways. Traditions and Ayahuasca facilitates that introspection and insights. We, it’s very, it’s easier to develop s insight when we are in the alter state of consciousness that Ayahuasca helped to appear.

On the other hand, Iowa’s High is purgative and in, in different areas of the jungle, he lives called ayahuasca. The pork, no emphasizing their, or focusing on the cleansing aspect of the ayahuasca. And that means that Wasco helps us to clean our mind, clean our bodies. Clean our emotions and clean, clean our energetic field and cleansing is a very important aspect of traditional medicine and traditional healers work around cleansing because that is an important aspect of the prevention of illness and also an important aspect of the, health.

So in the jungle in certain areas when people have problem with their walls or with hunting or with their relationships, they go and they ask for a pork and cleansing is a very important aspect of station medicine. And I, ayahuasca brings cleansing. This is another therapeutic aspect, hospital of ayahuasca and ayahuasca also often for people at some point.

Help to reconnect with spirituality and in a world where there is a lot of discontent with religious traditions and a lot of distrust around religion and many people develop some sort of, no. As a consequence of the distrust regarding the religious institutions it is very important to reconnect with the spirituality in a way that is not dogmatic, is not mediated by an institution.

It is nominated by a particular dogmatic religion or it’s a connection with the spirituality. And that can be extremely. And on the other hand, ayahuasca help us often to reconnect with NA because, we live in apartments, we drive cars, we use our mobiles all of the time. And gall, without realizing it we lost, we lose connection with Earth.

And to feel part of NATO again can be very important for our. For health too. And then we have a specific, specific therapeutic effects of ayahuasca. Helping people to reprocess, ine wounds from different perspectives like can happen when someone is dealing with trauma in a good context, of course.

Help people to can help people to recover some sense of direction in life and can help people to understand more around the source of the pain or the emotional pain that is extremely important in different when you deal with different problems including addictions. Is big and we can talk about it for four hours, but of course has many important therapeutic effects.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we can talk about Ayahuasca for many hours. That’s why I have this podcast. And and now close to hang it conversations about I wascan from a very different angles. David, thank you so much for your knowledge. Thank you for for your perspective. Where can people find more about you, where they can learn more about your work?

David Londoño: Yes. If you check for my pro profile in Google, you can find my David psychology. If you look for that, you can find my profile in different websites and it’s possible to connect with me.

Sam Believ: Perfect. Thank you David. Thank you for the work you’re doing. Guys check him out. He’s it’s very important to look at the safety of this work.

I will see you in the next episode of I’ll file, ask a podcast. Thank you for listening.

David Londoño: Thank you for the invitation.

Sam Believ: I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information.

Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. The wra Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Rinus van Offeren. Rinus is a former Dutch special forces bodyguard who once protected royalty and politicians, and is now a men’s coach helping others heal through emotional reconnection and plant medicine. His transformation from a high-stress, emotion-suppressing life to spiritual awakening through Ayahuasca is a powerful and moving journey.

We touch upon topics of:

  • 3:01 — Midlife crisis, depression, and loss of purpose
  • 4:30 — Stress, hypertension, and hospitalization
  • 5:50 — Breakup and emotional collapse
  • 7:59 — Suicidal ideation and sitting on the rock in Ibiza
  • 9:45 — First Ayahuasca ceremony in the jungle of Mexico
  • 11:34 — Belief in God and spiritual awakening
  • 13:38 — Feeling connected to everything (God as unity)
  • 15:10 — The soul’s journey and view on death
  • 16:46 — What to do if you’re feeling suicidal
  • 18:00 — Plant medicine vs psychiatry
  • 21:07 — “What if Ayahuasca saved Chester Bennington or Kurt Cobain?”
  • 22:16 — Letting go of control and facing inner darkness
  • 23:09 — The difficulty and reward of healing
  • 24:41 — Emotional repression, stress, and physical symptoms
  • 25:35 — Rinus’s past as a teenage drug dealer
  • 27:30 — Transition to government work and emotional detachment
  • 29:12 — Reconnecting with emotions and becoming human again

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Rinus van Offeren on Instagram or linked in @rinusvanofferen to learn more about his coaching work with men.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Rinus van Offeren: I don’t believe in God the way like we have, for example, in the Bible or that we have with religions, but I believe in maybe a God as a source of everything. I think like in total, I have like maybe between 15 and 20 ayahuasca ceremonies at such deep, profound experiences and like in many, I felt this.

Feeling of wholeness with everything. Before I was happy, but like unconsciously happy. I was just living life and every day I got up and I was thinking like, oh, I want to make this the best day of my life, but I have no like deeper thoughts about life or anything. And now I’m like so conscious of like how much time I have and that I need to spend it.

Like with purpose, everything is already there. You just have to remember all the external stuff. Once you find out that it’s not that meaningful, there’s only one place to search, right? It’s like inside yourself. And I feel like there’s this inner wisdom inside of ourselves that we forget about because we have our lives and everything’s busy and we’re chasing all this stuff.

But when you use Ayahuasca, I think you can really connect with this inner wisdom and inside. For me, there’s like this unconditional love and like this inner peace and this feeling of universal trust. I think that if anybody feels it, then they can be happy even without anything. I believe that anybody that gets in touch with this feeling of healing, you can solve a lot of things for yourself.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to our podcast as always, really the host, Samie. Today I’m having a conversation with nus.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah,

Sam Believ: renos is a really cool guy. He is, been a volunteer here for a few months. Patient previously before that Renos has his own personal brand, helping older man especially be healthy and happy and things like that.

Ritas is an ex military. He used to protect the royal family, right?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. I did bodyguard work for 10 years and for the Dutch royal family and also politicians and that stuff.

Sam Believ: Dero family politicians. So he has a very interesting story that I’d like you to hear. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat at Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Serenas. Yeah. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming on. First question, tell us your story. How did you go from super extra masculine, guns wielding. Yeah, cowboy, protecting cowboy to where you’re now and yeah.

Tell what brought you here and what brought you to Ayahuasca.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. I think maybe start with the first thing, what brought me to Ayahuasca was in, in 2021 when I, like in 2020 I was 40 years old and a lot of stuff was happening in my life. I got this feeling of a midlife crisis. That was maybe the first thing that I started feeling okay, like the buses was going like for 40 years in one way.

And yeah, I don’t know. I get this strange feeling that I, that something is like transitioning and that the bus turned around and then I’m like, okay, this is the last four years of my life, so what I’m gonna do with it like the things that I was doing back then, it started feeling less valuable and more like a lack of purpose also.

So I started having these life questions about who am I, like deeply re inside what is life about, like all these things that I never thought about. And, at the same time I broke off with my ex-girlfriend. It was a 12 year relationship, like the last five years. We were talking about having a kid, yes or no, and didn’t work out.

So at the time I was living in Ibiza because I, I like 2018 I went full-time entrepreneur after my career at the Dutch government. And then I was living in Ibiza and I had everything, like my status, my money, like my success was at the highest point ever. And I just felt like totally miserable.

I felt like really depressed. And I started getting into this black hole of yeah, I like, thought that I never had before. I was always like, missed positivity, like really high stress trained and yeah, I start, started like tumbling down this rabbit hole of yeah, depre depression. And yeah, I had such a ni nice life before.

I grew up in a very loving family. My parents like really raised me in a good way, although they had their own traumas and had a lot of stuff going on. And but like in my youth also, when I got outside, I was in this environment that was pretty hard. Like I always had to like, defend myself and even as a young boy, like I, I grew up in tough neighborhoods and I also did some stuff when I was younger that yeah, were like later on in my career, it’s strange because I worked for the police force, but when I was younger, like between 15 and 25, I did some stuff that you’re a naughty kid.

Yeah, I was a naughty kid. Yeah. I was always like adventurous and trying to find the boundaries of life and yeah. Afterwards yeah, I just, I started the career at the Dutch government and then actually be, because I was like growing up in this hard environment, like outside when I was a kid.

And then went on into the government work where they like teach you the cut of your emotions. Completely. I felt like a rock after 13 years of doing this work. And I think that tumbled me when I quit the government work and I was like an entrepreneur for two years and traveling the world as a digital nomad.

I, yeah, I just stumbled in this hole of depression and not knowing how I could handle my emotions and starting feeling stuff inside, like grief and sadness, but I didn’t really Yeah. Have any method to deal with it. And yeah that’s actually what brought me to Ayahuasca Then. It’s really funny because like I broke off with my ex-girlfriend and afterwards she moved to Mexico.

It was a really sad breakup ’cause we loved each other very much and we had to break up because it didn’t work because of the child. Question. But she moved to Mexico. And then after I was in ebit, a i, I I like the trigger point to do something about it was I got in the hospital in EBIT a at one point because my blood pressure was above 200, like my upper pressure.

And I found out by coincidence, but I had this stress feeling in my body already for five years, like from my toes to my head, like every morning that I got up, I got this stress feeling was really bad. And then I got into the hospital in in Ibiza by coincidence. Spent a full evening there.

And then the doctor said you have so much stress in your body, you really need to do something about it because it’s pretty dangerous. You’re very fit, so that’s your luck. But it’s very dangerous. And then like my girl, my ex-girlfriend was in, in Mexico and she’s oh, it’s very nice to travel here.

We didn’t mean to see each other, we didn’t see each other. But I went to Mexico to travel and there I was traveling for three weeks. And then, she sent me a message and she said, I did ayahuasca ceremony and yeah, I think I think you should go. So that was like my first experience getting in touch with Ayahuasca.

Sam Believ: Okay. Do you mind sharing the story about you sitting on the rock, on the visa? Or is it a secret? No. It’s not a secret because I think it’s a really touching moment.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. It’s like I was stumbling down this hole of like dark feelings, even to the point that I’m getting goosebumps now when I think about it, but it’s, and I can still cry about this moment because it’s like the last five years, the things that I did and the position that I’m in now, I’m so happy now.

You are allowed to cry on the cockpit. Thank you. I don’t know if I will, but I’m getting emotional a little bit. You must. No, you must, but, yeah, I was sitting on this rock, like any beat, side beat was really my island in in Europe. I really like it there. And I was sitting on this rock and like, when I got in into this when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I was like, I need, really need to rediscover myself because I didn’t know know who I was.

I quit my job. I went digital nomad. I broke up with my girlfriend, like this whole phase, like all kinds of things were happening and I wanted to rediscover myself. So I spent a lot of time alone like to really get to know myself again. And at one point I was in Ibiza, like in, in my place where normally I was very happy and I was sitting on this rock like this beautiful sunset, one of the most beautiful places, any beat like amazing.

Yeah. And I felt so depressed after months of dark thoughts. I thought yeah, if I jump off this cliff I wouldn’t care. And yeah, you see the emotions. Yeah, it’s it was a hard moment, but I get emotional because I know where I came from and the way I feel now, because now I have this like this, yeah.

I dunno, unconditional love for myself and this very, this inner peace and this happiness that it took me a while to get there, but yeah, I think Ayahuasca opened a door for me because I, five years ago I used to laugh at spiritual people. Like I did, like my mom is very spiritual, but I would always make fun of her and I think I thought I, like spiritual people were like hippie, like folk.

And yeah, my vision on that changed a lot. But it started with the ayahuasca because in, I did my first ceremony in the jungle of a Mexico and yeah, I dunno. I I had experience with psychedelics before but always like party wise, so never in a ceremonial way. And that, that first experience there in the jungle in Mexico was for me, like really profound.

And yeah, I, it connected me with something that I never felt before, something bigger than myself. Like I was pretty ego-driven, like always like chasing success and status and money. And I’ve always felt ah, if I’m this age, then I’m gonna quit working. I buy a Ferrari and all that kind of stuff.

And like at that point I started feeling ah, like there’s much more important things in life and there’s like this feeling of being one with everything. Yeah, I never felt that before and I think that awakened me to want to explore more about this subject. Yeah. This whole spirituality thing.

And I think like spirituality, some, sometimes people ask me, what is spirituality for you? And like for me, it’s like this deeper search in myself to figure out life. I think that’s

Sam Believ: that, that’s something you discovered that was bigger than you, do you reckon it would be too big to call it?

God,

Rinus van Offeren: I’ve done a lot of research and I’ve, I, since that experience, I started reading books and like not really spiritual books, but like personal development stuff and maybe deeper than what I did before, because I’m like an a neuro-linguistic programming coach and I did a lot of back Yeah maybe you need it later.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Rinus van Offeren: But so I did a lot of like personal development stuff, but then I started like reading stuff that were like about spirituality and I don’t believe in, in, in God the way like we have, for example, in the Bible or that we have with religions. But I believe in maybe a God as a source of everything that we’re, that everything has energy and yeah, that’s and I felt it, like I did multiple ayahuasca ceremonies even here, like last year I did eight ceremonies here.

And in this period of volunteering I did, I dunno, four or five. So I think like in total I have 15, maybe between 15 and 20 ayahuasca ceremonies. And I had such deep, profound experiences. And like in many, I felt this feeling of wholeness with everything. I remember last year when I was here, I did one ceremony and I, my intention was to connect to the universe.

So I left my body and it was just telling me, okay, your body’s of your body’s fine. This is a safe place you can leave your body now. And I went into what I believe is like the feeling of afterlife, like dying and just going somewhere. And yeah, it just connected me to everything. Like the animals, the people in the maloca, like the wood, like I was, I remember hugging this pole for 20 minutes because I just felt it was like the same as me.

And yeah, for me that’s if we use the term God, I think that’s it for me.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The best sort of explanation I have found in my personal search is if God is a tree. It is cool. We have a tree right behind us. Yeah. God is a tree. It was a hummingbird there. Yeah.

We are leaves. Yeah. Yeah. So you’re God. Me, I’m God. So it’s like a tree without leaves is a dead tree. So it’s like we are God, but we’re not really completely God, but we’re a little bit of God. And that kinda makes sense because we’re all that, it’s a big tree with a lot of leaves.

Yeah. But still we are, we’re all

Rinus van Offeren: connected. Yeah. It’s feeling, I have this feeling now that and I had this feeling before I started really, like before I started reading the Power of Now and like these really spiritual books, like I had, because of the ayahuasca ceremonies, I had these feelings of okay I’m a soul in a human body, having this experience, right?

And like my soul is part of this bigger thing, like this sourced and eventually I’m here to experience and then I go back to, to, to the source and take my experience with me obvious with me to back to whatever that source is. And we’ll probably never know, right? Because we, yeah, we find out, found out, find out when we die.

But it’s, there’s no way to send a message from the other side. Nice. But I think that’s a mystery of life. It’s like we’re here for what? Maybe a hundred years if you’re lucky. 90 or 80 or whatever. And you’re just trying to figure out what this thing is about.

Sam Believ: Yeah. We.

It definitely changed my view on dying as well. And that notion of, that we’re souls having a human experience. It’s in the books, but it’s also, I’ve learned it from tens of different people, from different parts of the world coming here to drink ayahuasca, learning it from my ayahuasca and then telling it to me in the word circle.

They never read it anywhere. They never, and in different words. Yeah. It could be, oh, there’s an alien ship and we’re aliens. We come here and then we go back or in, in like very different many ways. But explaining the same concept. Yeah. And the whole idea of living and dying. That brings me to the topic I wanna talk to you about.

It’s you were ready to end it prematurely end your life, which is not recommended. We are here for a reason. And we have to have the full experience. Yeah. You don’t wanna quit. Ahead of the time. So first of all, congratulations and thank you for not hair not ending.

It. It was, it’s great to have you here. Great to have you as a friend, so thank you. I’m just happy you didn’t do it. But trying to reconnect with those thoughts and those feelings back then you were so close and it’s like we’re almost we’re always a hair away from it. It’s something bad happens and all of a sudden you’re like, oh my God.

There’s always a way out. Yeah. How like how, what would you tell people, like on the other side of the screen who are feeling those thoughts and maybe they’re like, I don’t know, this ayahuasca thing, whatever. What would you tell them if they’re feeling those experiences? What would you want them to do?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. I would want them to realize that they’re not alone. How, like, how alone it feels for you at that point. There’s always like a way out. And there’s always if you’re like at the bottom, the only way you can go is like upright, but you just have to open yourself up for the things that are like available.

And I started out with going to the psychiatrist for 13 months and talking to this psychiatrist was a woman. She was very nice. And it for me, what that did was like, I had the chance to open up finally to somebody who was objective. And but still after 13 months, I didn’t feel like I was at that point that it was like solved or that my problems were gone, or it just made me cry a lot.

And I think that energy release is very good. So it was healing, but it still felt like really superficial in a way. Not going like deep and yeah, the plant medicine it, it, yeah, changed the whole thing for me. It’s, it’s a horrible story, but I had I had a colleague when I was doing the bodyguard work, and he shot himself on a Saturday afternoon while his wife and kid was at home, and he took his service gun and laid in his bed and he shot himself in his head through the head.

And I don’t know. I remember because I always remember this story. His name was Dennis, but it is this, I was so caught off my emotions. Like I didn’t know how to handle my emotions that I like all the guys in, in, in the unit. The only thing we did was like, make like sick jokes about it and then laughed a little bit and then we, that was our way of coping.

So I was in this situation for so long that I saw horrible stuff, like also, and it just became normal was really really in, in a, yeah, for me afterwards it felt, because I was, when I was there, it. I didn’t, it didn’t bother me, but afterwards felt really toxic. And I think that also got me into this dark space, like not being connected to myself, not being connected to the, to my emotions.

So if I would recommend something to anybody that’s in that situation is just try to find help and get back in touch with yourself like on a deeper level. And I think going to a psychiatrist is good. For example, maybe as a start, but for me, plant medicine like really opened the door to healing

Sam Believ: very hypothetical questions.

And you don’t have to answer. But now knowing what you know and see, seeing what you’re seeing. Do you reckon if that he was ous was Dennis? Yeah. If he was just some in a lucky chance would have ayahuasca, would you think he would still kill himself?

Rinus van Offeren: You never know. But I think like he, like I think back about the situation a lot sometimes, and it’s like getting I remember myself sitting on the rock, and thinking okay, like I’m ready to jump in. I don’t care anymore. And for him, to get like past this level and take that gun and just shoot himself, it’s I don’t believe I was at that point because I always was thinking about my loving family and everything. I just, something was holding me back, but he got to the point that he really did it.

And it’s like maybe one step more to Yeah. Just do it. And I believe that if he would like experience, for example, ayahuasca and get this deeper feeling of what’s possible to heal, like really get in touch with this darkness that’s inside you and, yeah, getting the opportunity to heal it. I think that maybe, I dunno.

Yeah, it’s a hypothetical, but yeah, I believe that anybody that gets in touch with this feeling of healing is, yeah, you can solve a lot of things for yourself.

Sam Believ: There is some magic that happens when you work with this medicine. They just kinda opens up something that just changes your perspective forever.

And I just I’m very passionate about this work because I’ve seen how it’s helped me and so many people, so I just can’t help but think what if instead of drinking alcohol every Christmas, we would all drink ayahuasca, like with all those Kurt Cobain or I forgot the name of this, the solo guy in the Lincoln Park.

Oh yeah. What would they kill themselves or maybe they’d still be around, it’s first it’s very hypothetical but if you’re listening and you’re, you’re struggling, get some help, talk to a friend. And if it’s really rough and you’re just like nothing else.

You think, nothing else you think is working and you haven’t tried before, just give it a try. Yeah. We had quite a few people that did it, and it worked for them. Not a medical advice of course, but No, it’s if you have nothing to lose

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah.

Sam Believ: And you’re just afraid to be like, to puke for one night.

Yeah. You have no reason to be afraid.

Rinus van Offeren: Because, no. It’s like the one thing that like, because I wanna bring groups of men here. And the one thing that I always hear is people are afraid of letting go of control and there’s darkness inside them, so they’re like afraid of what they’ll run into.

But for me, like I al also had a lot of darkness in myself. And we’re always talking about surrendering, right? Yeah. Giving yourself to Mama Ayahuasca and just surrendering and let her show you what you need. And, yeah, I think a lot of people could benefit from it. If you look at the western modern, like medical world and all the things they prescribe, if you don’t feel good.

Yeah. Like for me I think ayahuasca and plant medicine in general could do a lot more healing than the western medicine that we have. But

Sam Believ: yeah, it’s not gonna be easy if you’re so bad emotionally. Yeah. Coming to us, it’s not gonna be like rainbows and butterflies.

You’ll purge and there’ll be pain and stuff will come up, but it will a hundred percent release something and then therapy integration. And you can have a, you can have a new life. So just as a motivation for some of you who are struggling, let’s talk about repressing emotions and stress. Like I personally did it for a long time as well.

I, when I was working at offshore and gas, it was just an unpleasant life. You work for 12 hours a day. You do things that you don’t really enjoy, you just do it for money and you just counting days. So you go back home and then you come back home and you’re like, oh, 28 days from now, I have to like, go back and you can’t help it, but you’re like, oh, I have three weeks left, two weeks left.

Just like constant anxiety. And then before that, my traumatic childhood and just like living a life that is not enjoyable. You like, logically your mind is oh, lemme just this emotion thing. Lemme just switch it off because if it’s unpleasant all the time, why my, why bother? Yeah.

Yeah. And I did it myself as well through medicine when I opened up to the emotions and I feel more how was that process for you and do you reckon repress trying to find a connection between repressing your emotion, that stress building because of that and your blood pressure and like what how did it feel and like any thoughts about that?

Yeah,

Rinus van Offeren: Like for me, I grew up in this loving family and inside the family, like I was all love. Like I, I know that I’m like inside, I’m a good guy and I have a lot of love in me, but because of the environment that I grew up in and just like the way my life, like I, I feel like now looking back at the first 40 years, I was always trying to be this tough guy, like this really masculine guy and it’s like I was trained for it also.

And yeah I think I started at a young, as a young, at a young age to like outside when I was like in this like tough environment and I needed to fight for my spot and just, I don’t know, it just turned me into this, yeah, this tough testosterone monkey that that’s exactly how I see you still.

Yeah. Yeah. Still just kidding. Yeah, I have a good balance in masculine and feminine energy. Yeah. I think, but yeah, it’s I dunno, something sometimes I think back about it, like how, where did it start or where did it happen? And I think I, it happened re at a really young age, like I’m gonna tell the story.

Okay. Because I don’t tell this story much because the rest of the world doesn’t know. But when I was 15, I started drug dealing and I did it until the age of 23 and I got like this gang related stuff going on when I was 15. And even in the Netherlands, like you don’t think they have it there, but it’s like, when I went outside, it was all like really like small time criminals.

And that was like, it started that way. Graffiti and that kind of stuff. Yeah, but then it grew into oh, I wanna make some money. And yeah, I just started drug dealing, started with meat and then like in Holland we have a lot of ecstasy pills and cocaine and that kind of stuff. And it just grew into this, to this business that eventually was pretty big.

And I had to tough enough to like really yeah, like I to get around in that space because there’s survive. Yeah. There’s a lot of danger there. And like I, I, when I was 20 or 21, I bought a gun to protect myself. So it was like and my parents didn’t know like anything. I was still like living at home with my parents and just outside.

I was in this life that, that was like, pretty dangerous. I had some some nasty situation going on and it was, there was like a lot of money going around. I had I dunno, I don’t remember how much I spent when I was like between 20 and 23, but like a lot. So I had this life that were, for me, like very adventurous and it felt like really good, but I got into some bad situations.

And I think there, I made the switch to cut myself off of my emotions because I needed to like, like if it was necessary, I needed to do stuff that wasn’t really nice. And then afterwards I, when when I stopped, I quit because like eventually I thought I don’t want to keep doing this.

And a friend of mine, he got caught, so that made me like stop. And then I worked a corporate job for a year and a half because I graduated school and then I went to work and I felt so miserable and happy and my dream was always to go like into special forces and do like government work and special units and this and that.

And then I, after a year and a half I applied and then I went into the, to the service stuff. And there it’s just, you get trained like from day one to just cut off your emotions. It’s like emotions are weakness. You don’t need them. Cut them off. But it I did the work for 13 years. I was, I think I was pretty good at it.

And but it also estranged me a little bit from normal life. So near my family, near my friends. I was like four or five days a week I was doing the work and I was like in this other place, in this whole other world where emotions weren’t allowed. And then in the weekend I would go to this kid’s birthday of one of my friends and was just standing there and I was like, what the fuck are you people talking about?

This is so strange for me. Yeah. So it really ther me. And I think that whole like, cutting off the emotion stuff it’s not a good thing. Like you see so many people here that are like caught off from the emo their emotions. And like for me ayahuasca is a very good way to get back in touch with it.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I personally was able to reconnect myself with emotions. Not immediately took a while, and now it’s I’m, I always, I almost regret it sometimes. Yeah. Because it’s so painful. Yeah. Yeah. It is. When the bad emotions come, you’re like, it’s like you feel them all at the same time, but then I’m also able to feel good emotions.

Yeah. Yeah. And I guess that’s what makes you human. Yeah. And if you don’t feel anything, you’re just a robot.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Believ: But it’s interesting, your story’s pretty cool. You can make

Rinus van Offeren: a movie about you. Yeah. Sometimes people they tell me to write a book or something. Yeah. You went, I went from dealing drugs to like protecting like Dutch Royal family was like yeah.

You went

Sam Believ: from the bottom of the society to the top. To the top, yeah. And now you look like someone who should wear linen clothes and have a copper mug.

Rinus van Offeren: Like I wear, it’s all the time. Like fortunately it wash from you. Yeah. I feel like this yeah.

Sam Believ: It’s beautiful as well because it shows that anyone can change.

There’s never lead to change. Life is not stagnant. You can be many different things. Yeah. And you can navigate your way. Yeah. And you can, even from the most darkest moments, you can learn about things and not only that, but you can bring all of that together. And then help other people like you do.

Yeah. Is

Rinus van Offeren: can I say one thing about it? Yeah. Like it’s I feel like after doing the ayahuasca and having this spiritual awakening and doing this deeper spiritual work that like everything that I did in my life it was meant to be like it happened for a reason. Yeah. Like even all the dark stuff, everything happened for a reason to bring me to this point, like where I am now.

And that’s I’m, yeah. I’m still the same guy. I just expanded my identity and now I’m not doing that a hundred percent masculine stuff anymore. But I switched to like really balancing out like the masculine feminine energy and getting in touch with my deeper self and my emotions.

And I, I’ve. Actually, like before I was happy, but like unconsciously happy. I was just living life and every day I got up and I was thinking like, oh, I want to make this the best day of my life. But I had no deeper thoughts about life or anything. And now I’m like so conscious of like how much time I have and that I need to spend it, like with purpose and just when I have stuff, my life is very good, but I still have like stuff going on, right? We all have stuff going on, but now I’m like so much better in like handling it like just feeling through it and just also knowing like a universal trust that Ayahuasca gave me, that everything will be okay.

And it you for example, like sometimes it’s crazy because you, you said about dying, right? But I, because of my ayahuasca ceremonies and especially the one where I went into the universe, my whole fear of dying that I have like in, in phases of my life, it’s like totally gone. If I would blow up my last breath after this podcast I would be, yeah.

Satisfied. It’s like a really strange feeling. I’ll resuscitate you. Mouth them off. Yeah. Yeah. So die. Yeah. No I’m not going to, I saw in a vision once that I’m gonna be 89, so I have trusted that I’ll have some more years. You never know. It’s a good age, but yeah, we have to spend every minute of our life trying to yeah, live it with purpose, I think.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s that’s the beauty of ayahuasca, right? You come to it for healing I’m a little depressed. Lemme just heal and then your whole world get turned, gets turned upside down. You, your values change and you understand those things. And it’s, I’ve been in this work for five years now. It still feels like a very beginning.

Yeah. And the beauty of your journey and your story is if you were just you come from a beautiful family and let’s say you just went to a good school and then you went to good job and. Now you’re same age, but you never had those experiences. Who, like people would not care about your story ’cause like, how can you tell someone like what to do and how to overcome struggles if you never had one yourself?

Yeah. Like how could you coach someone if you just had nice life. Yeah. Yeah. So you, your pain and your struggles give you the strength to then help others. Yeah. So all of the people and I meet so many people and the people that I interview on the podcast as well, they had like really bad things happen to them or really difficult life.

Yeah. And they went to really dark places to then be able to get to understand the full spectrum.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah.

Sam Believ: So let’s talk about that a little bit. Your work, you work with men. You help men get fit. Yeah. Mentally fit. You say you wanna bring them over here. Let’s talk about that and try and talk about.

Midlife crisis. I’m sure you deal a lot with that. Yeah. What is it you said you had it yourself?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah,

Sam Believ: I had my little sort of quarter life crisis when I was about like in between 25 and 30. Yeah. That kind of brought me to this life. Yeah. So let’s talk about

Rinus van Offeren: that. Yeah. Yeah. For me it was like this strange feeling.

I, I dunno, it’s the, I dunno, it’s like the age of 40 or something. But for me, it happened like when I was 40 and I, all these things were happening in my life and I was going down this rabbit hole of darkness. And I just got these bigger life questions that I never had. Who am I Right?

Like deeply inside. Like I’m living this superficial life. It’s very strange because I,

Sam Believ: who are you though? Do you know the answer? And or can you word it? Because people ask me that and I’m like. I kinda know, but I don’t know how to explain. Can you?

Rinus van Offeren: No, I think it’s very difficult. Like you can maybe explain on a human level, like what you do and who, and your name and like everything, like your identity, but on a deeper level.

I don’t think it’s explainable, it’s

Sam Believ: psychedelically. I understand it now. Yeah. Yeah. Like I, I know. Yeah, but I can’t explain it, but, sorry, I interrupted. Thought maybe you just have an answer.

Rinus van Offeren: No worries. But it is like this deeper search in myself to I think it’s just like getting to know myself on a deep level so I can figure out this life.

Like the way it’s like like I wanna, the way I wanna live my life, because there’s you can two go two ways, right? You can be like a, like living victimhood and, or you take leadership over your life. But this mid midlife crisis feeling, actually it got enhanced because all this stuff was going on and then.

I was like, success. I had a lot of success, a lot of status, a lot of money, and it didn’t make me happy. And I like all the things that I was always chasing. Yeah, it felt yeah, not worthless because I I see money as energy now, and I know I needed to like, provide in my life, but like all the things that I was chasing, it didn’t feel like it gave me the satisfaction afterwards that I always thought it would be or would have.

And yeah, that’s what like tumbled me into this feeling of midlife crisis. And the guys that I helped, now, the guys that I coach are mostly like successful businessmen and they have everything, like they have this family and they have money and a company, or they sold their company and they’re retired already on a young age.

And, but they lack happiness inside. And they have this feeling of emptiness that, yeah, that’s that I recognize because I had it in 2020, 2021 like this. Emptiness inside, like of having everything but still not feeling yeah satisfied. I think it’s not I don’t know if satisfied is the right word, but like feeling a little empty and purposeless.

Sam Believ: How can I ask help? Because you wanna bring them here. Why?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah, because like I, I know because of coaching all the guys that they have a lack of purpose, right? They have been chasing this thing all the time, all their life, and then they have it, and then they find out that’s not what makes them happy and like to feel like happy inside is I found out because of Ayahuasca that there’s like this inner wisdom inside ourself.

That I forgot about it. I, it is funny because I did a ceremony last week and I wrote one thing in my journal, and it was like, everything is already there. You just have to remember. And I feel like there’s this inner wisdom inside of ourselves that we forget about because we have our lives and everything’s busy and we’re chasing all this stuff.

And but when you use Ayahuasca, I think you can really connect with this inner wisdom. And inside is the, this for me is, this is my truth, right? But it’s for me, there’s like this unconditional love and like this inner peace and this feeling of universal trust that I think that if anybody feels it, then they can be happy even without anything.

I, like my, my, sometimes my world’s burning, right? Like stuff around me happens and it’s like on fire. And I don’t know, for me, I just can go back even when I’m not using Ayahuasca, but I can go back to this inner wisdom inside myself and just be safe and be happy and feel this inner peace, even though I have problems.

And I know that it’s gonna solve itself. And I’m a hard worker, so I work to solve stuff, but I feel like the universe is guiding me in that way. And I found out because of ayahuasca. So that’s why I wanna bring the guys here and like really try to connect them with something because this is my experience, right?

Like the experience will be difficult different for everybody, but trying to let them connect with something that’s yeah, maybe unexplainable, but they will feel it. When they’re here.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah.

Sam Believ: That’s the challenge of this work this podcast or even the documentary we’re making, you and I, we understand very well Yeah.

What it is we’re talking about. Yeah. Yeah. But how do you explain to people that feeling or that understanding or that, so hopefully if someone is listening to hunger episodes, eventually by looking at this thing from so many different angles, maybe they can embody it without even Yeah.

Drinking. But honestly just come and do it.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. For me it took three years. I was like investigating it already for three years, but it, like I was calls you, right? There’s this moment that it’s there and then you’re like, okay, now I’m gonna do it. But it took me like three years or something to like really get over that point to come to Ayahuasca. And also one thing that is changed for me, like I was like, and I see a lot of those guys that I coach. I see them doing it. But I was always chasing like this cheap dopamine stuff like porn, women like social media, like news.

Like I was always like entangled in this stuff of chasing this cheap dopamine. And I, one thing, like my whole spiritual journey wasn’t easy because I got rid of like I don’t drink alcohol anymore. I don’t do drugs like party-wise. I party sometimes, but I do it like on my, I get high on my own supply now.

And it’s all I quit watching porn. Like all this stuff I don’t do anymore. But I had a really hard phase of okay, I feel that I need to stop this stuff, but what can replace it? And it took me a while to find out, but Ayahuasca also showed me I had this really profound session where just showed me that I should just connect to nature.

I should meditate, I should do reading, like all this like boring stuff that I used to not find that interesting. Yeah. And like the guys I coach, I see them doing this stuff a lot. And everybody walks their own path, right? So they’ll get there eventually, hopefully. And some, maybe some people in this won’t.

But yeah I would really like for them. I’m trying just trying to open doors for them to get give them possibilities to find out another way. And I think like ayahuasca. Yeah. Like it’s, for me, it changed my life. Like it’s, I got so much profound stuff from it. It’s yeah, I’m a big fan and especially people should come here.

Yeah. Because I did it in Mexico before and it was like a shaman from Peru and. And there was a good team of helpers. So I’m not complaining about the situation, but there you had 45 minutes of explanation. This is ayahuasca. Okay, here’s a campfire. You can do this and this. Here’s your first cup.

And you could take three, four, or five in a night. Like it was a full night, like one night experience. And it was like, it felt for me like afterwards, because I had a very good experience, but it felt like more like hardcore, not really for beginners.

And I was very happy that I did psychedelics before, so I didn’t get like panicky or whatever.

But this place is so safe. Like I would recommend everybody that’s especially first timers, but also people that have more experience, to come here and do it in such a safe place with a shaman that is so experienced than like a team of loving people. And this nature here is yeah, I dunno, this is a place for me.

That’s why I’m coming back every year. Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Believ: So before we switch the topic, you were saying, yeah. Everything is within you. Yeah. And I’d love to say that I completely understand it and about it. I still seek things outside of me.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah.

Sam Believ: I think I’m getting older as well.

I think I’ll get there eventually. Yeah. But it is it is interesting to see, and I’ve also met many people who have made a lot of money, and once they did, all of a sudden they’re like, the meaning is gone. It’s like when you chase this external goal, and then when you get to the end of it and you expect something and something similar happened to me, it’s I was told that you go to school and you study one, then you get a good job, and then you make money and you buy yourself everything you need.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Believ: And I guess I’m lucky because I was able to do it all so quickly

And achieve those goals society sets for you. That I could quickly see that there is nothing there in the end of it. But if you are still in it and you’re like, I still need to, I still, I just have 10 years left of mortgage to pay.

Yeah. And then once I have this house, then I will be happy. Yeah. But the happiness never comes. And especially when you meet people, I’ve met people that sell their businesses for eight figures, and they have, they solve all of their problems in the physical reality, and they all of a sudden had collapsed.

Yeah. They’re just like, everything lost, meaning, because now you can’t run away from yourself anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Externally. So it’s you gotta have to go back to the core. You have to go deep. There’s nothing outside. No. And it’s, I’m still, I’m only saying this, not as someone who completely embodies it.

I, a disclaimer, I’m still learning it, but it is, I think, very deep understanding. Anything you wanna add on that?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. Like we’re all trying to figure it out. I don’t have all the answers. I think this life is like a search for. And I found out, like I was always chasing stuff that eventually didn’t feel like purpose to me, like really meaningful.

And now because I did this, like searching inside myself, that’s why I’m saying like, all the answers are inside yourself because all the external stuff, once you find out that it’s not that meaningful, there’s only one place to search. It’s like inside yourself. And I think it’s a search that will never end.

So I, I’m still finding things out. I’m like discovering myself, and I really enjoy the journey. Even though it’s like sometimes very hard, but I feel like I, I realize that like we have this darkness and light in life, and you should embrace both. You need the darkness to be more light.

And yeah, it’s just and it’s, yeah, it’s true. It’s hard to explain, but it’s because of the ayahuasca. You can really connect with that deeper level in church yourself. There’s deeper consciousness. I could never find it without plant medicine, like without ayahuasca, and I found it because of ayahuasca.

There’s people who say that, ah, like meditation or this or that, and I’m like, I use all those things. But like the only thing that really brought me like really deep, I believe to my core, like on a soul level where I felt things that I probably, I don’t believe I, I could find out in any other way.

Ayahuasca brought me there and that’s why I’m like such a such a fan of it.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I love all the modalities out there. I think they all have place and they all have I meditate and I do yoga. If you can see my yoga mat right there. Yeah. Yes. This is where I do my yoga as well. Yeah. In my podcast studio.

But not often, unfortunately. I’m still trying to do more often it. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Yeah. All of them are good. But I think for some of them, if not most of, for some of us, if not most of us we’re so far gone. Yeah. Because of the way the society is and because of how locked we are, it’s you’ll probably take me 50 years of meditation to ev ever get there, but I would not be able to meditate 50 years.

No. So I think ayahuasca this dynamite that we need, a lot of us need just to break through and then after that you can use all of the other things. Yeah. Because now you can use meditation to integrate and you can use coaching and therapy. But it’s for some of us, we’re we just won’t be able to feel it.

And on the previous topic about running away from yourself or getting something externally. Yeah. I like to say it’s like no matter where you go, there you are. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like you cannot run away from yourself. Oh no. And you can only pretend or do it temporarily, eventually to catch up with you with even more strength.

So stop. Look at the pain.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah.

Sam Believ: Go towards the pain. And if you need some help of somebody else. Yeah. You mentioned loving, beautiful team of LA Wire. I think our team is amazing. I, yesterday we had the, our little social event. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, this is not normal. We shoot the team, the work environment shouldn’t be that nice.

Yeah. People should, they should be like, it doesn’t feel like work. Yeah. It’s just too nice. They should have a little bit more pain. Yeah. But you, yourself as a member of that team, it’s you have this huge volume on social media. You have big business. Why instead of doing that, why volunteer at LA Wire?

Like why are you here?

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. I felt it in one Ayahuasca ceremony. So I came here first as a patient, like last year in April. And then I think in the first ceremony told me like, oh, you’re gonna be a volunteer here. And my, my whole perspective of life changed, of like being egoistic or egocentric and like chasing all this stuff to being of service and just helping people.

And like I, I coach men now. I call myself like a body mindset and soul coach. I try to combine all the stuff, but it’s just, I don’t know. I just wanna spread this message of not owning plans medicine, but just trying to make people happier and live their best life.

Because life is great, right? But you, it’s what you make of it. And even if you have a lot of trauma going on, you can still get into this place where you’re like living your best life. I really believe that. Even though some people hear, you hear their stories and it’s like really horrible, right?

It’s but they leave and they’re like, in this it open like doors and it’s and that’s what I, that’s what I felt already when I was called to be a volunteer, that I would come here and be of service in these ceremonies. And yeah. It’s so grateful. It gives me so much gratitude, just helping out people.

I, and I did volunteering experience once in a hospice, so I did it for five months just to I was never like not a lot like in touch with death. So I thought oh yeah, if I wanna learn more about it, I’m gonna volunteer in a hospice and see how it is. And there it got, it gave me this feeling.

It was one of the most like, extraordinary things that I did in my life. Like the most, one of the most rewarding things. Yeah. I can’t explain it. It was so rewarding just taking care of people in that last phase of their life. And this just opened the door for me to I don’t know be of service and just help other people.

And this place for me, this already feels like my second home, right? It’s like I, I want to come back every year and I want to volunteer every year, and I come back as a patient. So I’m really connected to this place and yeah, I would just, everybody who’s thinking about volunteering just just come and try it out.

And yeah, I think it will give you a lot of gratitude. Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Believ: And mind the volunteering here is not easy. No. It’s a very emotional, it’s draining. It’s

Rinus van Offeren: yeah.

Sam Believ: There’s a lot of it’s like going to a gym. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like going to a spiritual gym. Yeah. Because you, you’re inward circle and there’s people sharing and you’re learning about yourself, and then you drink the medicine yourself.

But it, so it is hard. Yeah. But it also makes you stronger and it makes you learn a lot. Yeah. I think, like for me personally, of course I. I do a lot of it myself, and I used to do all of it myself in the beginning, but like all those word circles, for example, it’s like I can’t find a, I can’t think of a different way to gain so much wisdom than to be in those word circles.

And you start to see patterns and you analyze and you learn, and it’s just I feel like sometimes people ask me things and I’m like, oh, here’s your answer. I’m like, where do I even know this from? Yeah. Yeah. You start to feel wise. Yeah. This combination of ayahuasca and people and so much emotions.

What have you learned from volunteering here?

Rinus van Offeren: There’s a lot of stuff going on when you volunteer. Like you’re in your personal process or you drink ayahuasca and you drink the service cups and you’re in your personal process. And then you have the team dynamics, and then you have the energy of the patients.

What I’ve learned, like for people thinking about doing ayahuasca or maybe volunteering. It’s for me, the biggest lesson is if you come here and you get in touch with ayahuasca, like it will open doors that you can, that can change your life. So it’s you see the most horrible stories here, right?

People come here like child abuse, like all these stories that I’ve like unimaginable for me the things that people have gone through and then they walk out here like a week later or two weeks later or whatever they have their journey here and they walk out and they have this I dunno, this pos positive energy over them.

It’s yeah it’s very profound to, to see and you learn so much from all hearing all the stories, right? Even if you’re like part of the team or you’re like a patient here, like the word circles, like the, all the experiences of other people, it’s just healing by itself. And yeah. Yeah, I think that’s for me, like I had even my personal process, like coming here for the last couple of months it’s given me so much that yeah, it’s probably too much to this name, but yeah.

It’s really beautiful.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The seeing the buses of unhappy people come Yeah. And then buses of happy people leave. Yeah. It’s like a factory. Yeah. Yeah. Conveyor belt, people come unhappy and

Rinus van Offeren: leave happy. It feels a little bit that way. Yeah. Because we see buses come and buses leave, right? Yeah.

And every time it’s like you’re a little bit sad you had such a nice experience with this group, and then they leave again. Yeah. I worked in a factory once. It’s, it didn’t feel the same as here. Yeah. Yeah. It’s a spiritual factory. Yeah. This is spiritual factory. Yeah.

Sam Believ: You, me, you mentioned that topic couple times, masculinity.

I’ve heard people refer to you in the word circus, like reus. You’re the epitome of masculinity, like the way you balance things. Can you talk to us about that? Obviously you’re a masculine guy, you teach people, you’re military, you can kill and you can love and all that.

Now you can cry and all that stuff. So talk about like healthy masculinity. Yeah.

Rinus van Offeren: I think like healthy masculinity is like having the really good balance between being masculine and also like embracing your feminine energy. And like a couple of years ago, I didn’t even know what like feminine energy was.

Yeah, for me it’s like getting in touch with my feminine side. It’s like connecting with my emotions letting myself feel them and just cry if I have to or just go through the emotions and whatever comes and makes me angry or whatever. Like really connecting with it on a deeper level like I used to.

When I thought emotions were thoughts, right? But emotions are like in your body and your brain makes something of it. So it’s like really connecting deeply with that. And it just gave me this better understanding of myself, like better understanding of other people. Like more compassion, like intuition but on a different level.

I had intuition before because I did the bodyguard work and you need it, right? But it’s like on a different level feeling other people like their energies or what’s going on with people. I’m, and I don’t know. It’s like I, especially the compassion. I don’t think, like I was a very compassionate guy before because I was so closed off.

But now, because I’m like, so in touch with myself, I have all these things that we can call like feminine energy, but it’s I use them when I need to, so I’m still this I can be a tough guy and I could do manly stuff and people always say, oh, I feel so safe around you and you’re so masculine and this and that, but I’m, I also like, when I need to cry, I just cry because I know it’s like letting go of energy.

I don’t like I stop wearing all my masks. Like I had a lot of masks. Like I was always trying to, to the outside be this certain type of guy and now I’m like, I don’t care what everybody thinks about me. And if I need to cry, I need to cry. If I get emotional. It’s and it’s a very nice feeling.

It’s like it made me feel whole when before I was just this, yeah, I dunno. I’d always call it like this testosterone monkey and always like chasing certain stuff. And now I’m like for example, like my relationship with my girlfriend, like in my last relationship with my ex. Afterwards, like in the relationship I was a little bit egocentric, so I didn’t really care on a deep level and I was caught off by I don’t think I can, it wasn’t my, it wasn’t really my fault because I was caught off.

So far from from my emotions, but now with my current girlfriend and I think I needed to go through all that stuff before with my ex and all the relationships that I had to become this man that I am now. But now I’m just really, yeah, I can really understand my girlfriend better. So it’s yeah, it’s, I dunno, it’s just this process of connecting with this feminine energy, but still being a man and like in the world we live in, I see this like two types of men, like men that are real, like really masculine, like always chasing stuff and like how I was a little bit, but maybe in their own like personal life.

And then you have these men that are like. Becoming maybe a little bit too much to the feminine side because of like society and all the things that are going on. And I don’t know. I really feel it’s like the, if you balance it out that’s the best way to go. And I feel like really holes Yeah, you

Sam Believ: look whole.

Yeah, that’s, yeah. It’s all about balance. Yeah. Yin and yang. Yeah. So talk to us about your work what you help men with, and maybe for some men that are listening, why they should maybe reach out to you.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah, so I used to be, when I started Entrepreneuring I I was a fitness coach, online fitness coach for eight years.

I had a company and I quit it last year. I was like doing really good and, but because of like the whole journey that I’m making, I, it felt like superficial for me. So I quit it eventually and now I’m like combining all the stuff that I’m like. This whole journey that I did, I find okay, we’re like a soul in the human body.

So you need your body, right? You need a good body to live this life. So I help guys if they’re not in shape, I help them get in shape and get healthy. But it’s all, and I’m very mindset trained because of the army work and like working for the government. So I know a lot about mindset training and being strong and all that kind of stuff like handling stress and yeah, just not getting knocked off the, off your feet, like with every small thing.

But it’s also like I combine it now with the spiritual stuff. So I feel like, I don’t feel like a guru or anything, but I think I have this like inner wisdom that I found out about. And like I have, I can open doors for guys to find ways to connect deeper to themselves. And I, I do this whole package now.

Yeah, I have my own podcast. It’s Dutch, but and, yeah I have this meaning list and I just if guys need help and they mostly, they connect to my stories, right? I’m a little bit of a storyteller, so I tell stories. For example, I had I had this Viagra addiction for a long time.

I was always like having sex with women and thinking I needed to perform like really well and be a porn, like a porn actor and do this kind of like porn stuff. But yeah, if I tell that story, there’s so many men that connect to this story that they’re like, oh, I use, I Viagra also to have this feeling of performing like this pressure, or I have like different kinds of problems, like libido or whatever.

And it’s just I just tell stories and then like men connect to what I’m doing, and then I try to help them on, on a deeper level to yeah, just connect deeper with themselves. That’s that’s the main thing I do. And we just talk about life, like the way we do, like we talk about life and I’m very intuitive.

So usually it can go about their relationship, can go about their health, can go about like their search for purpose. And yeah, sometimes, I dunno, people call me a life coach, but I think, I dunno if that’s the right term, but I just share my experience and try to help guys yeah, mostly find themselves back, get healthy mentally, physically, and also maybe connect on a spiritual level.

So where can people find you? I have a website, it’s called reus van offering.com. It’s yeah, but they can find me on Instagram also and my Dutch podcast. I dunno, for international listeners is not, if

Sam Believ: you speak Dutch, check out this podcast. If you don’t speak Dutch, learn Dutch and check out this podcast.

Rinus van Offeren: But also, like if you’re English speaking, like you can find me on my website and just send me a message. What’s your Instagram handle? It’s hanran also. We one. Alfred. Yeah.

Sam Believ: Cool. Yeah. Thank you Ritas, thank you for the conversation. Thank you for your help here at Low Wire.

Thank you for the work you’re doing for the men. Thank you for your grounded energy. Thank you for wanting to bring groups of men here. I’m excited for that. Yeah, it’s gonna be interesting. Gonna be man only retreats or We do, we haven’t figured out yet. Yeah I think one day we’ll do man only retreats.

So if you’re interested into that, just send me a message somewhere. ’cause Yeah, we wanna know.

Rinus van Offeren: Yeah. It’s it’s good. But thank you for having me on the podcast and here it’s just I’m. We are getting to know each other. I feel like you’re a very good guy and we connect very well on, on different levels.

Yeah, in general, I dunno, it’s, I don’t believe in coincidence anymore, but there’s a reason we met and yeah, I’m very grateful for it. So thank you. Thank you.

Sam Believ: And guys, you’ve been listening to Ayahuasca podcast as always, with you, the host and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like, wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Connect, heal, grow guys. I’m looking forward to hosting you.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/rinusvanofferen

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Jason Grechanik — a curandero, tabacero, and the host of The Universe Within podcast. Jason spent over a decade living in the Peruvian Amazon training in the Shipibo tradition. His work bridges plant medicine, traditional cosmologies, and deep healing practices through tobacco and Ayahuasca.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Jason’s path to becoming a curandero and his early interest in spirituality and martial arts (00:27–03:39)
  • The concept of Ayahuasca “calling” and plant consciousness (04:02–06:36)
  • Tobacco as a master plant and its traditional uses (07:06–11:57)
  • The role and practice of a tabacero (12:09–14:34)
  • Tobacco initiation and altered perception (15:01–20:28)
  • Intention and the neutrality of plant medicines (21:02–25:44)
  • Sam’s personal relationship with tobacco and the loss of tradition (26:29–29:20)
  • Risks of Ayahuasca being misused or misunderstood (29:20–36:40)
  • Cosmovision and how worldview shapes experience (39:45–47:25)
  • Definitions of spirit across traditions (47:30–54:35)
  • Understanding spiritual disease (55:02–60:06)
  • The emergence of plant medicines into the modern world (62:09–67:32)
  • Advanced civilizations, pyramids, and Ayahuasca as ancient technology (68:02–82:50)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to www.lawayra.com

Find more about Jason Grechanik at nicotianarustica.org or on Instagram @jasongrechanik. You can also listen to his podcast The Universe Within on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca

Jason Grechanik: podcast.com. These sacred plants like tobacco, ayahuasca, they’re very strong. They can give us power, they can give us insight. People who work with ayahuasca, they would often use ayahuasca as a tool to diagnose, to see, and so tobacco’s the same. And so along with that comes a big responsibility and that’s where I think it’s very important to go through very rigorous training where we’re constantly put to the test and we have to overcome obstacles.

We have to, in a way, pass these tests to be able to handle that responsibility.

Sam Believ: I remember Ayahuasca calling me to drink it for the first time. I remember Ayahuasca calling me to go and drink. Aya was in the jungle. It’s something that really hard for me to explain.

Jason Grechanik: In a lot of these traditional cultures, when you’re speaking about plants, it’s this idea that they have a spirit, that they have an aliveness, and that spirit can heal us, but it can also teach us.

So everything has an ability to teach us, and it’s coming back to what we talked about in the beginning, is this idea of a calling. And as we begin to open our senses, we can get more in touch with that calling and be more open to receiving the information of Spirit and everything has spirit.

Sam Believ: Hi guys and welcome to Iowa Podcast. As always, we do the whole Sam. Today I’m having a conversation with Jason Nik. Jason is ERO, taro, and the host of universe Within podcast, he spent many years living in uvn, Amazon, where he trained with Quero from Shapiro Tradition. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat.

At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. Jason, welcome to the show.

Jason Grechanik: Thank you, Sam. Thank you for having me on.

Sam Believ: Jason, so first question I always ask all my guests is your life before Ayahuasca. What brought you to this line of work, of working with plant medicines?

Jason Grechanik: It’s a big question. I, how to sum it up shortly. I think ever since a young age, I was very interested in indigenous cultures. I was very interested in martial arts and I was very interested in shamanism and. I think at the time, martial arts, there was no like real path to be able to do that.

And so I found myself doing many paths, but especially I became very interested in plants and plants as medicine and eventually that led me to travel around the world looking for different paths eventually to the Amazon and eventually to I guess doing the work I’m doing.

Sam Believ: Interestingly that you mentioned martial arts, I think I never mentioned it on my podcast, but I did boxing for eight years when I was young boy and a teen.

So martial arts is definitely a spiritual practice in itself. So I’m reading a book currently by this Peruvian ero who his path was martial arts. Let me actually look it up. ’cause I don’t recall the name of the book. He went from martial arts to then tai chi, to then like healing with energies and then eventually plant medicines.

It’s called Journey Through the Invisible by Haak. Have you heard about him? Interesting. Even without knowing you, I guess you have a somewhat similar path, but so talk to us about finding where are you from originally and how did you end up in the Amazon?

Jason Grechanik: I grew up mostly in the States, but I had an interesting life and that my father was very interested in indigenous cultures and so I ended up traveling with him quite a bit growing up. So I had been to the Amazon as a child to, to some actually quite remote areas. Like I said I just became very interested in spirituality and religion.

I think it was something that I was very much seeking or longing for. And at a certain point I guess in my twenties, I just had a very strong call to, to work with Ayahuasca. And that was at a time when there really wasn’t much information out there. And I heated that call and I found myself in the Peruvian, Amazon and ayahuasca was very enlightening for me, not in a, the way that word is usually used, but it was just very revelatory for me.

And I ended up, going back originally it was just for a year, for my own growth, and it ended up being, I don’t know, over, over 10 years now, probably close to 15 years ago now. And it was just a very organic process.

Sam Believ: So you described the Ayahuasca calling and I felt it myself. I remember Ayahuasca calling me to drink it for the first time.

I remember Ayahuasca calling me to go and drink Ayahuasca in the jungle. It’s something that really hard for me to explain. You’re better with words. Can you give a try and explain what is it where does it come from? How can it be that sometimes something you’ve never even met before is calling you?

Jason Grechanik: It’s an interesting question and I think it’s a common experience that, that people have and that they’ll often use language like that. Something was calling me. I think in a lot of our, or maybe more, for lack of better words, western vocabulary it’s maybe more difficult to express certain things, but I think in a lot of traditional societies around the world there’s a much deeper sense of kind of the interconnectedness of things.

And so the idea of me speaking with words, the idea of my dream time, the idea of the consciousness of animals or plants, or that the wind has a certain energy or mountains have a certain energy, and that we’re always in a relational aspect with these things. There, there’s always a, an open channel of communication if we were raised in a way to see the world that way or to be open to that way.

And so I think that idea of being called. Is in a way quite literal, it’s that the energy or the, it’s often said like the spirit of the plant or the consciousness of the plant that the essence of the plant is calling to us. And that can be a deep sense of intuition. It can come in the dream space, it can come through synchronicities, it can come through a gut feeling through a heart calling.

But I, I think there’s something deep inside someone where they feel like they’re opening a relationship to, to, to something. And it’s often beyond the rational mind. And the rational mind may even try and come up with some explanation that kind of diminishes it, or, but usually at a certain point it, it becomes more difficult to rationalize it as something that’s just a coincidence than to, to believe that something is calling to you.

At least that’s how I experienced.

Sam Believ: Yeah, synchronicities are definitely real. Once you start to live in this world, you start noticing them. And my entire last six years of my life is basically one synchronicity after another, as I like to say. Meanwhile, me and my wife, we do all the work, but the decision making comes from somewhere else that just keeps pushing us along a certain path, which is very cool.

There’s something I really wanna talk to you and I’m excited about because you are, I believe, the very first quero that I have on my podcast. I have a pretty profound relationship with the tobacco. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I’ve never smoked a cigarette in my life. I started working with tobacco when I started drinking the medicine.

And like the shamans were teaching me, how to smoke tobacco and look at it and try and interpret certain things or how to use it for cleansing yourself and, I had some deep revelations from tobacco alone. So can you talk about tobacco, most westerners think about as this nasty thing and without any positives to it.

So talk to us about the traditional use of tobacco.

Jason Grechanik: It’s interesting because as you said, on the one hand, almost everyone in the world knows of tobacco, which is pretty amazing if you think about it in a way that up until recently, almost no one had ever heard of ayahuasca. Very few people had heard of a lot of these other plants like Wachuma or peyote, iboga, although they’re becoming more well known.

But everyone was familiar with tobacco and I think the reason of that is because it how we look at history the most recent kind of conquest or the meeting of the two worlds of the. For lack of better terms the old world and the new world when those met, tobacco was so widely used as a medicine, as a teacher, that it was adopted very quickly by the newer people.

And so it spread very quickly. Like obviously most people know of tobacco through cigarettes, but tobacco’s a really interesting plant and that there’s a lot of different ways you can work with it. It’s quite unique in that way. Like most plants, like you’re referring to ayahuasca, it’s usually just drunk, but tobacco’s interesting in that it can be smoked, it can be drunk, it can be made into a powder and inhaled through the nose.

It can be made into a liquid and inhaled through the nose. It can be taken as a past, it can be chewed. And all of these different ways were traditionally worked with in a lot of the indigenous traditions of the Americas. Tobacco is considered a master plant or a teacher plant. And it’s considered like one of these handful of plants in their really creation myths or their origin myths these plants that God gave to humans to really connect with spirit.

In many traditions, it’s considered the most sacred plant. Often like the grandfather plant because it was often considered the first plant. But it’s certainly on this kind of pantheon of what’s considered teacher master plants. As you said, even in most ayahuasca ceremonies, tobacco is always used.

It’s used for protection, for cleansing, for diagnosing for connecting to the spirits of the other plants. It’s often said that the spirits of plants feed on the energy of tobacco. Tobacco is a, is like a type of food for the spirits of plants. And so in the same way, you have people who specialize in one plant like ayahuascas, people who specialize in ayahuasca or wchu martos, people who specialize in wachuma, baos, people who specialize in trees.

You, you also have tobacco erdos, people who specialize in the medicine of tobacco. And I, I think. In short, like it, it was always considered one of these very sacred plants. And the fact that people know it is something else is I think, indicative of something that happens when these plants go maybe into hands of people who take them and they forget the origin stories.

They forget the stories, they forget the dances. They forget the traditions. They forget the cultures they come from. And over time, then the plant can be corrupted and we lose its essence. And it’s not just like that with tobacco with really any sacred thing. You could say the same thing about religion.

You could say the same thing about really any of these plants, any of these traditions. It’s just tobacco happened to spread much quicker than all of these other plants. But the. The rights the stories the ways of working with it were lost for the majority of people. And yet there are still some traditions that survive, that still carry those stories, that carry those ceremonies, those rituals of using it in a sacred way.

Sam Believ: So what does the Tabak do, for example? I envision you somewhere in a jungle, like a choa, like a building with a straw roof. And a person comes and says oh, I have such and such problem as a ero. What do you do? De describe this process. And I’m asking, ’cause I believe in tab tobacco.

I think tab tobacco is an extremely amazing medicine. But honestly, I just don’t, I just don’t know enough. Maybe someday I’d love to learn from you as well.

Jason Grechanik: All of these are, they’re very often titles that I think are used to describe someone from the outside. I think in general, like probably as like traditionally, like an IO may not necessarily refer to themselves in I ito, but there, there’s someone who has a connection to to, to plants, to the plant kingdom, to spirit, to a way of healing.

And so it’s the same thing, but it’s the idea that someone has a mastery, has a command, has a knowledge of that plant, and most of these master plants in, in the same way of ayahuasca or chuma or coca, it’s really a medium to connect to the plant world. And so most traditionally, most of these people you could loosely say were doctors or healers or wisdom keepers.

And so someone would come to you for a sickness, a physical sickness, a spirit loss, an emotional sickness for insight, for wisdom, for advice of their own process or the process of their village or their lives. In order to receive some sort of insight, some sort of healing, and so much like maybe in the way that, that, people who work with ayahuasca, they would often use ayahuasca as a tool to diagnose, to see.

And so tobacco’s the same. It’s usually something that would be taken one in order to connect. So whether it’s ingesting a tobacco we also tend to do a lot of work with our pipes. And that the pipe becomes a big extension of our beings. A tool to diagnose, to see, to have insight.

And then to take that insight and to begin to do work, whether that’s prescribing plants, whether it’s working energetically on someone cleaning, clearing, bringing order, but much in the same way, any type of ERO or person who’s working in that field would work. It’s very similar, but the medium that we use to connect to the plant world is tobacco.

Sam Believ: How does one become a Tao? I used to work with one shaman from Columbia who was no, he was mostly doing ayahuasca or he was working with Jaha, but he, he would use a lot of tobacco and he would, for him, it was like Google, you ask him a question, he could go and sit down, smoke his tobacco, and then come back with a, with an answer.

And a lot of times it was extremely accurate. And I was like, how the hell does he do it? And I asked him like, how do you be, how do you get this connection with tobacco? ’cause a lot of people smoke cigarettes and they never get any positive revelations. And he said that and I don’t think it’s, doesn’t seem too traditional, but there’s this cigars that they sell here in Columbia.

They’re like very loosely rolled, like very poor quality cigars. And he said, you need to smoke a pack of these in like few hours or something like that. And then you say, you start tripping and you start to connect to something else. And then once you do that, then you can come back and start seeing more stuff.

So obviously I’m not crazy, so I’ve never done it. But I’m assuming there’s this better way to do it, or it does have to be with like. Poisoning yourself with nicotine?

Jason Grechanik: I think a lot of what he said actually resonates. One tobacco is used as I was saying, as a diagnosis tool. So to, to diagnosis to see that can be visually with your eyes. It can be through, as we were talking about earlier this sense of a calling. So an intuition, a vision.

A knowledge something that comes to us. But it’s this ability to see, it’s often said that tobacco allows us to, to see through the veil, to see the world as it actually is, rather than through kind of the veil, the lenses that, the filters that we see the world through. Much like in a way ayahuasca can be used to see the world as it is.

And so it’s opening us to things that we may not be able to perceive in our normal day-to-day consciousness. That usually entails a training an initiation and apprenticeship. And much like your friend or teacher said, it’s usually through ingesting very large amounts of tobacco, often bringing us to the point of death.

It, it seemed that when we go through these very deep initiatory experiences, that there’s this sense of dying and that the dying is this shedding of our skin and being able to be open to something new, a type of rebirth to where we have this connection to the spirit world, to where we’re able to navigate that shamanic realm and that.

It comes through initiatory experiences. It can come through deta, through dieting, different plants, different trees who become our allies, and then they’re also able to help us to diagnose, to see and as you said like tobacco, as like it was probably the, I think the 14th or 15th century Swiss physician, Paracelsus, who said very beautifully, the difference between medicine and poison is in the dose.

Most people, when they’re smoking cigarettes, which are quite far removed from natural tobacco, they have all sorts of chemicals added to them, and it’s hybridized forms of tobacco, but the dose is very small. But if you were to work with tobacco in a traditional way, whether it was through smoking, as your teacher said, smoking a copious amount of a very strong tobacco will get you Maria or smoking we would usually work is through a pipe, a very big pipe and smoking a lot will get you very Maria ingesting tobacco in its in different forms will get you very Maria.

It will take you to a space where your perception is much more open. But also through the, that’s what I was saying, that the mastery of these plants the deeper connection to them, we don’t necessarily need to ingest huge amounts to be able to connect to that space. And something you’re probably familiar with, like even usually when people begin to work with ayahuasca for a long time, they’re able to ingest smaller amounts and still have a space open where they can receive information.

And so it’s very similar with tobacco. So it’s through a process of, as I was saying, of initiation, of training, of working not only with large amounts of tobacco, but with other plants, other trees that then become our teachers, our allies. And through that process we’re able to open up and to perceive.

These spaces that allow that information or insight to come. And I would say, much as your teacher was saying, one of the real powers of ayahuasca sorry, of tobacco, is this idea of clarity, of actually being able to see things not through all the noise, through all the mind filters, the things that other people are saying, the things that other people are telling us through what society is necessarily showing us, or the picture, but into the essence of things and really seeing them as they truly are.

And then there’s a very deep insight with that, that we can begin to work with and to move forward.

Sam Believ: So somehow I’ve formed this belief system that we have, we all have like spiritual powers, right? We’re all connected, but tobacco and other plant medicines, but tobacco specifically is used a lot of times as as an enhancer, as a, as an antenna, as something that makes your signal stronger.

For example, if you’re smoking a tobacco and you’re praying for something, then your prayer is more likely to be answered. And as a, and vice versa, if you’re smoking a tobacco and you’re thinking negative thoughts against a certain person, you will send negativity towards them. So what can you say about there’s obviously some like religious practices and also spiritual practice where people use tobacco to do bad things and just generally, maybe you can talk about the neutrality of the blood medicines, that it’s less about the medicine itself and more about the intention.

Jason Grechanik: I think that’s very well put. Just as you, you put it. Plants are gifts from God and, we can believe that God is good or we can believe that God is not good. And that’s a worldview that we ultimately have to choose. But assuming that God is good and looking at the world that way then all of his creation is also good.

And tobacco is one of the most beautiful creations. Humans are defacto good. Doesn’t mean that we can’t do bad things. We can, but humans as a whole are good. Hummingbirds as a whole are good. Jaguars as a whole are good. Water as a whole is good. The mountains as a whole are good. Mountains kill people.

Jaguars kill people, but it doesn’t mean that they’re bad. But part of life is this duality, and that’s also the duality of good and evil of God and the devil of light and dark. So all of these plants in their essence, I would say are good, or as you could say, neutral. But I tend to think good because they’re truly gifts.

The Shabo who I spent a long time, I think have a very beautiful way. They’re word for good is haku. And Haku, from what I understand, the etymology of it. It means that which is true and that which is true is that which is life-giving. And so that which is not good, is that which is not true.

It’s that which is not life-giving. It’s that which is separating. So I think when we see the world that way, that which is life giving is good, it’s the truth. And that which is separating is not good. It’s divisive. And so we, as human beings, we can embody both of those energies. And as you said, the, these sacred plants like tobacco, ayahuasca they’re very strong.

They can give us power, they can give us insight. They can give us a deeper ability to see the world. And so along with that comes a big responsibility. And that’s where I think it’s very important to go through very rigorous training where we’re constantly put to the test and we have to overcome obstacles.

We have to, in a way, pass these tests to be able to handle that responsibility, to really look at all of our shortcomings to make good decisions. Because when we’re carrying these medicines we do have a certain power. And with power comes responsibility. Not much. Like we were talking about martial arts.

It’s a very similar thing. In, in some worldviews you have this idea that like certain plants are bad or they can be used for bad. I, my sense is that’s more of a Christian way of looking at things that the only thing good is God. And anything that’s outside of that is not good.

And that’s why a lot of these plants like tobacco, like ayahuasca have been demonized. You’re in Columbia, I’m sure that a lot. Up until recently and still probably, so most Colombians would view ayahuasca as the devil’s work. They’d view tobacco as the devil’s work. That’s not the case.

The, these plants were venerated by people probably for eons. Again, along with that, the, these plants carry a lot of power, and so as you said, like if someone is working with these plants or using these plants and their intentions aren’t good. Where they really haven’t done a lot of work for themselves.

Of course that’s going to amplify. So just as you said, if someone is having bad thoughts or they’re using bad words, it gives it more of a charge, more of a power, and then it can have that destructive force to it. But that’s not the plant, it’s the person. And so any of these plants there, there’s a relational aspect to the person.

And so the person, it’s a very Buddhist concept. Like the first two fundamental ideas are this idea of right ways of being, right actions. And that’s super important. Like that we, we have that responsibility to to be in right action. And these shamanic traditions teach that, they teach it very strongly that we need to be in right thought to, to have our plants go straight connected to the earth reaching for the heavens.

Because if they’re not, that plant will grow crooked. And then that plant can, can harm, but it’s not the plant it’s us who’s using it in a way that can harm.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The power of intention. I’ll share, I’ll take advantage since we talk about this topic, which is really rare, but I’ll share my own journey and my own complicated relationship with tobacco of Salt.

I went from never smoking anything. Like I never, I still never had a cigarette in my life, ever, it never had hold a cigarette in my mouth or anything like that. So I was always like, brought up knowing that smoking is bad and you just don’t do it in end period. So then when I started working with the medicine, I saw the side of it and I was convinced to, to start.

And I and because I never smoked anything, it was very, really strong for me. Smoking those loosely rolled cigar type tobacco. And I was getting messages and I was getting some really powerful ones actually. Some big decisions came from me sitting down with a tobacco in like a very concentrated way.

But then I also, eventually I got addicted to tobacco and I went to, so I went from smoking those loosely rolled very unpleasantly tasting cigars to exploring the world of cigar smoking, like nice cigars. And I ended up for a period of about a year smoking almost like one cigar every day. Enjoying it a lot.

Mostly in like less of a ceremonial setting, but more of like from a place of being really stressed. And then the cigar would be my therapist. And it was I still think it was necessary. So now for. For the last few months I’m now only smoking one cigar every week, and I cherish that experience.

And if I do it by myself alone I always do this ritual where I set an intention and I use to smoke to cleanse myself. And I try not to use my phone or distract myself with anything. And occasionally an interesting thought might come by, or my, my pers my perspective, perspective on things might change and helps you process emotions.

So I think it’s a very good tool, but I myself have experienced, the danger of taking it out of the traditional context. So I know you talk about that and it’s a good way to bridge the topic of we have tobacco that was removed from its tradition. And became a cigarette and went from healing people to killing people.

We have Coca, like this is, I have some mamba here, which went from healing and helping people to, to killing people. We have, we did it with cacao and many more other things. As, and losing the context and losing the tradition, do you think there’s a risk that same thing would happen with ayahuasca and yeah.

What are your thoughts in that direction?

Jason Grechanik: It’s a, yeah it’s a good question. It’s a big topic. I think a lot of us still view. The world in this way that certain substances are addictive. And a lot of that came, maybe as you’re familiar, may, I think it was maybe in the sixties or seventies, it was called like the Rat Park experiment.

And they kept a rat in a cage and they had a bottle of liquid food and a bottle of liquid cocaine. And after a while the rat just kept drinking the liquid cocaine until it died. And so it was said that cocaine is addictive, but many decades passed. And then a number of years ago they replicated that experiment because the researchers saw flaws in that experiment.

And they said that rat wasn’t living in its natural environment. It didn’t have its friends, it didn’t have family, it didn’t have things to do. It didn’t have normal food. It couldn’t exercise. So they created. This rat park, which like mimicked its more natural environment and it, had its friends, its lovers, its family things to do.

And they did the same thing and they had a bottle of liquid cocaine and food. And what they found is that it tried the cocaine once and then it never went back to it. So that kind of disprove the idea that something is addictive in and of itself. And again, I think we know that, like we know people who can use cocaine once and they don’t like it and they never go back.

And then some people are addicted, some people can try smoking. They hate it. Some people can become addicted to it. And so I, I think the root of addiction is again, much like we were talking about the plant. It’s not the plant itself. It’s not that a plant is addictive, it’s that the plant is serving something within us and it’s trying to bring us to some form of equilibrium.

But. If we’re using the plant to bring us to some sort of homeostasis, it means we’re not in a homeostasis, homeo homeostasis. It means we’re in a state of disease. And so we’re using something as a patch to try and bring us back to a state of normality. And so always we have to go back to that substance to, to achieve that effect.

It’s probably similar to something like coffee, like we were talking before we started about coffee. Most, most people who drink coffee probably have some addictive relationship to it, but it’s not the coffee itself. It’s the coffee is making them feel a certain way. And if they don’t have that, they long for that feeling.

And as you were saying it’s about coming into right relationship with these things. Understanding them, using them as tools rather than. As something that, that’s feeding something or trying to substitute for something that we’re lacking. So in that way and it’s also interesting, you were also mentioning that this idea of like smoking cigarettes, before cigarettes were as popular, people were smoking pipes.

And even in Europe many, hundreds of years ago, I think Bach wrote an ode to tobacco. Even people were still connecting to tobacco in a very strong way. But in terms of, something like ayahuasca becoming addictive. That’s also why I was saying a plant like tobacco is very interesting that it, in that it can be worked with many different ways and smoking is one of them.

But I spent some time training with a group of people actually in Columbia called the bu. They come from the Val Paste region. The apa Portus River. And they’re very interesting because all of the plants, before you would work with any of them, you always sit down in a ceremony and you share the story.

You share the origin story, you share the song, the dance and it’s constant, and imagine anytime you’re smoking a cigarette or anytime you’re ingesting Mabe or anytime you’re drinking Keisha, you’re constantly hearing the story. You’re constantly singing the song. You’re constantly dancing the dance to where that really gets ingrained in you.

So none of these things are used in a way that’s outside of that ceremonial context. And you have the kind of keys, the knowledge the stories, the traditions that are always being imparted on you. And when you remove those things you lose those. And so tobacco was the same. When you began working with tobacco, you learn the stories you learn the dances.

You you learn the uses, when to use it, how to use it, the dose, why you’re using it. I think when you lose that you can form an addictive relationship with these things. I think when you don’t lose things, you don’t. And I also say that because again, when you began to develop a relationship with tobacco, it was usually you were at least beginning to, were building up to a very initiatory experience of that plant.

As I was saying, that plant often brought you very close to death. And so when you go through those experiences, you don’t see that plant as something lighthearted. You don’t see it as something that you would just use. Without purpose, without intention, you have a very strong reverence for that plant, and you have a very strong respect for it.

And so you approach it from that place. I think the thing with ayahuasca is, unlike tobacco or coca, as you mentioned, it hasn’t it, it didn’t start by going out to the masses in a way that was outside of a ceremonial context. So I think the way it’s spreading is still more of a ceremonial plant that’s used in that context.

Still with certain traditions, still with certain respect. And I think most people when they work with ayahuasca, especially if you’re working in a more traditional way, it would be very strange to think that you would have an addictive relationship to that plant because it’s a very strong plant.

It takes a lot of courage to, to work with it. It takes a lot of dedication. It’s, they’re often very difficult experiences, so it’s not something you would do unless there was a real need to do that. And so I think it’s the same with any of these plants, like when they’re worked within that way, there, there isn’t that danger of it becoming addictive.

Having said that, with ayahuasca, if it begins losing the stories, the traditions, if it begins to go out into the world and you can. Have more access to it, or maybe it’s condensed into some pharmaceutical pill or, the essence of it is lost then potentially. So it, it could potentially become addictive just like tobacco or cocaine or any of these plants have that ability to, but I would think not, but that’s also dependent on how it continues to move forward into the world.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I think what protects ayahuasca from completely, so I’m less worried about ayahuasca being completely taken outta the process because of the tradition. Because I think in order to get addicted to something, in a way that you feel pain and you want to run away from the pain as, as somebody who I recently interviewed, don’t ask why the addiction ask, why the pain the pain you the substance or the medicine should be causing you pleasure and removing the pain.

And with Ihu ask a lot of times there’s even more pain. It’s healing long term, but it’s not gonna be like lemme just have a cup of ayahuasca as opposed to cigars. In my case, let’s say I’m feeling really stressed or like I’m having a conflict or something like that, and I’m just like, I know that if I sit down with a cigar, first of all, it means that it’s a one hour of meditation for me, no distractions.

I have a little nice spot that I built for myself where with a nice view, then I know it’s gonna taste really nice and it’s gonna feel really good. So for me it’s there’s nothing unpleasant about it. So there is no this lever there should be this balance of pleasure and pain in a way.

And Ayahuasca has it well, because every time you go into the ceremony, you don’t know whether it’s gonna be beautiful or difficult. Mostly it’s gonna be difficult, and I hope that the spirit of medicine, unless they bastardize it so much, that it somehow loses the spirit, which I don’t know if it’s even possible to be done, but when you drink too much medicine for too often, a lot of times it just comes in and says worry back so soon it happened to be once worry back so soon you haven’t done the homework and it gives you a bad trip and tough love grandmother kind of spirit.

But yeah, I think there’s definitely dangerous to removing the tradition from a. From the use of any medicine because it’s, we might discover another tradition or we might just lose it and it becomes something completely different. I wanna talk to you about a word that you use a lot, which is cos cosmo vision.

It’s it’s a word that it is not used that much. And I love it. I learned a lot as I was preparing for this podcast. So talk to us about what is Cosmo vision, why we all have it, what are the different Cosmo visions, et cetera?

Jason Grechanik: It’s a, it is, it’s a, it’s an interesting word. It’s a very beautiful word. I think it’s more in our vernacular now. I think often we still tend to use it when we’re speaking more about indigenous or traditional cultures. As if they have a cosmovision which they usually do.

That’s part of what separates one group from another group. That’s what separates, for example, in the Amazon, the shabo people from the Alka people or from the Schwar people is part of who they are. Part of what they call their people is they have a very particular Cosmo vision. They have a worldview.

They have a language that expresses things that’s very particular to them. They have a relationship to the natural world. They have a relationship to the spirit world. And so all of these things taken together could be said that’s someone’s Cosmo vision. It’s also interesting because it has the word cosmos in it, which is the stars, the universe.

And I think traditionally that was very much an integral part of these cultures all over the world. When you look at the pyramids, they have those, that culture had a cosmo vision mean they’re in very specific astrological alignments. When you look at temples in India or temples in, like Ancor wa and Cambodia or these temples all over the Americas.

There, there was very specific cosmologies, but just in a broader sense that, that word cosmovision I think what it means is the way that I, or I think other people often translated is in English would be your worldview and I. I think it’s something that’s really important to understand and to reflect on, because often I think in the West, we think that we don’t have a Cosmo vision, but everyone has a Cosmo vision.

I I interviewed a, an ayahuasca, a French guy, very interesting guy, and he said very beautifully that, that cosmovision and consciousness are interrelated. You can’t have one without the other, basically. Meaning you can’t have a consciousness without a cosmovision. And that’s very true. Who we are is directly related to our cosmovision.

It’s directly related to our worldview. You often, you can even look at that in even like a very basic, like a political sense. Like I have a neoliberal cosmo vision. I believe that people should be working cooperatively and da. I have a. A capitalist world vision or I have a socialist world worldview belief in justice, belief in good and bad religious worldviews.

All of these things shape our world mu much like I was saying earlier, do I believe the world is good or do I believe it’s bad? Do I believe God is good or do I believe God is not good? That’s going to shape your worldview. We even have little sayings that reflect that. Do I see the glass is half empty or half full?

That literally shapes my worldview every time I see that. Am I looking at that glass is, oh wow, I still have half of a glass. Or am I looking at it saying, oh shit I only have half of a glass. It may sound like something very small, but it’s literally shaping how we interact with the world and everything in the world is a relational aspect.

Everything. That’s the nature of this world is it’s a world of duality. It’s a world of me and everything else. And so in that way it’s how I interact with the world, how I see the world what beliefs do I have? And that’s literally creating my reality. As I was mentioning to you often, like in Spanish for example they speak they often use this word marilo or Maria when they’re speaking about the effects that these plants create with us.

And it’s often seen that, usually that word translated in English, it comes from sea, so it means seasickness. So it’s like these plants make us dizzy. But really what they’re trying to do is to break us from the dizziness of life because it’s seen that we all are seeing the world through a certain lens, and very often those lenses aren’t true.

And like Vedic philosophy for example, it’s the idea of Maya that we’re all seeing the world through a veil, through an illusion in a Christian sense, it’s the idea of the apocalypse. It’s that Greek word is usually very misunderstood. It’s not the end of days, it’s the end of the illusion of time, and it actually means to lift the veil and to see the world as it actually is.

That’s part of the medicine of tobacco that, that I was mentioning. And so these plants are helping us. To remove us from the dizziness of life. They’re trying to move us, as I was saying earlier, towards truth, towards union, towards that which is good rather than this separative state that, that we’re all inherently born into.

And so our cosmovision shapes that, that it’s literally how we see the world. It’s the imprints. Depending on your cosmovision, you could say the imprints of your ancestors, of your DNA, certainly of your epigenetics, of your family of the words that they raise you with, of the actions that they take of your surroundings, of your friends, of your educational system, of the society, everything that they imprint on us, all of the, you’re mentioning Gabor Mate, all of the trauma that we acquire.

All of these things are shaping our worldview. If, you know someone who in general has a lot of childhood trauma, is going to have a very specific worldview, they’re going to be a very heightened in their senses. They’re going to be more like aware of their surroundings. There, there’s a he mess.

And so all of these things begin to shape how we see the world. And I think doing this work, it’s very important to understand our cosmovision and these plants are very much tools that are helping us to do that. Only when we begin to understand our cosmovision do we have one, the ability to shift that, to change it or to go beyond it, to look through it.

And so all of these plants or traditions are trying to give us insight so that we can choose and in a sense, what is it that I believe in? What is true, what is good, what is life giving? And to really understand how our cosmo visions like literally shape and create a reality.

Sam Believ: So I know indigenous Cosmovision and others include the understanding of spirit and I like your explanation of it.

Can you tell us what is spirit?

Jason Grechanik: This is a perfect question of what is our Cosmo vision? Because that word is going to mean very different things for the very different people. I worked for many years at a very big ayahuasca center called the Temple of the Way of Light and in the Peruvian Amazon. And it was always very interesting because we would, in, in general, we would always translate for example, we would have consultations between each guest and we were working with a group of people called the Shabo people and the Shabo healers or s and there would always be a facilitator who is translating literally the language usually Spanish.

Sometimes with a little bit of shabo as well, but from most of the guests who were speaking English. So we were translating what the guests were saying in English to Spanish or to, to a much lesser degree to, to some shabo if people had a, some understanding of that. In the beginning, if someone spoke Spanish, then we wouldn’t translate that.

We would often just say, just speak Spanish to, to the shabo. And you can converse that way. But at a certain point we actually change that. And we said, even if you speak Spanish, speak to us and then we’ll translate back what they’re saying. Because what can happen is a clash of worldviews.

And so like a little example I’ll use is, for example, a Shabo healer may say to someone, you have a demon inside of you. Depending on the person who’s receiving that, depending on their Cosmo vision, that word has all sorts of connotations there. There’s literally a word that, that word is creating all sorts of images, of past ideas, of ancestral ideas of images, of literally creating a world.

But that can be very deleterious because what the shabo person was saying, or meaning by that word, wasn’t what the person who was receiving that was understanding, because there was two very different Cosmo visions of what was being spoken. So that’s that’s an example of where these things can go awry.

Does that kind of give some insight into your question? Yeah,

Sam Believ: no I like the also like when you speak about language and expire, inspire that part.

Jason Grechanik: Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, I mean that, that idea of spirit, that, that’s why I use that example is because that word is a word that has very, a very deep meaning and it can mean very different things to different people.

Usually I think that’s also where etymology is very interesting. What does that word mean, like in our language, where, what does that word mean? And as you said, like it’s often related to inspiration or expiration or respiration and all of those things. It that they have a meaning of what does expiration it means to expire to for spirit to leave something.

So if I’m expired, it means I’m dead. Or if if a yogurt is expired, it means it’s no longer good. It’s life forces is no longer serving us to inspire. It means to be filled with spirit. So if I’m inspired, it means I’m filled with spirit. It means I’m looking at the world through the magic of spirit and etymologically.

It has to do with breath to, to respire. It’s to to breathe. Like a respise is like a place to catch your breath. And so etymologically spirit often has to do with breath. And breath is the fundamental thing of what it means to be alive. We’re born, we come into this world with our first breath to be filled with spirit.

And when we leave, when we expire, we let out our less breath. And so I think for me, that word spirit it’s the animating force of life. It’s that which is beyond the body. Sometimes people may correlate it to soul, although some people may have differentiations between that. But I think for many indigenous people, and again it’s very difficult to generalize because again, even different indigenous cultures and people will have different ideas.

I think it’s this idea that everything has spirit, that everything in this world, because it’s part of this world, because it’s part of creation, because it was created, it’s filled with spirit, it’s filled with this vital life force that animates it, that allows it to be alive. And again that’s quite a different cosmology or cosmovision than a lot of us think about.

Because we often wouldn’t view, for example, a rock as having a spirit or we may not, for example, view a hummingbird as having a spirit, but it’s this idea that everything has spirit. Everything because it’s manifest, because it has been created is alive, it has a spirit, it has this animating force.

And so I think a lot, probably to some degree, this question is also because a lot, when we’re speaking about these plants, I think one of the interesting things that differentiates these traditions from a lot of other. Ways of working with plants. For example, allopathic medicine. It’s also working with plants.

Most pharmaceutical or allopathic medicine is plant derived. The vast majority of it is derived from plants. But in general, in an allopathic cosmovision, they’re not speaking about the spirit of plants because they’re not viewing that medicine as necessarily being alive. And so in a lot of these traditional cultures, when you’re speaking about plants, it’s this idea that they have a spirit, that they have an aliveness and that spirit.

It can heal us, but it can also teach us. So everything has an ability to teach us. And it’s coming back to what we talked about in the beginning, is this idea of a calling. And as we begin to open our senses, we can get more in touch with that calling and be more open to receiving the information of Spirit and everything has spirit.

And so we’re more and more able to be in a relational aspect and a communal, relational aspect with that idea of spirit

Sam Believ: on the topic. I wanna go a little deeper. So we have the in our western understanding of the disease, we have the physical disease, and we have the emotional disease.

Can you talk as a cor, can you talk to us about the spiritual disease?

Jason Grechanik: Yeah, as you said, and as we were talking about and for example, most allopathic medicine, which is the vast majority of medicine in the Western world, most diseases are seen as something physical. So there’s too much of something or not enough of something.

There’s some sort of imbalance. So also in our western systems, we do have the department or the idea of psychology or psychology, and this is the medicine of the mind of the emotions. And so it’s also seen that some of our disease can come from the mind, and that’s where you mentioned like a guy like Gabor Mate, like these ideas that if we’ve had trauma in our lives or if we’ve had very difficult experiences or as I was saying, negative thought patterns, worldviews, that those can also cause us disease.

I think much more in Western Medica the medical system. There’s much more of an acceptance now, sorry

Sam Believ: to interrupt. You have unexpected guest at the studio. Oh, sure.

And interrupting us, he liked the conversation.

Jason Grechanik: Yeah. And do you want to take him

Sam Believ: out or no. He’s, he is outside. It’s just that the glass. For those who are listening, you can see the, I have in the window in my office, I have one side of the window is transparent and the other one is a glass.

So he’s, he probably sees himself or another bird and he wants to hang out, but he is chirping loudly. It’s a pretty looking yellow bird.

Jason Grechanik: Yeah. Beautiful burden.

So yeah, as I was saying in our western system there there’s much more, I think of an acceptance now of this mind body connection that, that these things also have a relation to each other in, and I think these traditional systems all over the world, they would look at things in three levels.

There’s the physical, there’s the mental emotional, but there’s also the level of spirit. And that in, in most of our, kind of our Western model, we look at things more. In the inverse, we look at primarily the physical, then potentially the mental or emotional. And we don’t even really necessarily have a spiritual component, or if we do, it’s something that’s completely unrelated in these more traditional systems, there’s three levels.

The physical, the mental, emotional in the spirit. And I would say the model is inversed or reversed, where the primary aspect is spirit. And when we have a spiritual sickness, eventually that’s going to cause us mental emotional disease. And if we have mental or emotional disease for extended periods of time, that’s going to cause a physical problem.

Now obviously that’s a general statement. If I. If I get hit by a car and my leg is broken, maybe we can look at that as something happening in the realm of spirit. But for sure, there’s a very physical ailment that needs to be treated. But usually when we’re talking about sickness or disease, there are things that are more chronic.

It’s not acute injuries, it’s things that have been building over a long period of time. And so in these more shamanic or traditional systems. They’re working on all three of these levels. They’re often working with plants or certain treatments to, to affect the physical body. They’re very often working on the mental emotional level.

That can also be through plants. It can be also through talking or through other practices. And there’s a very big emphasis on healing the spirit. And that’s usually where these master plants or teacher plants come in because they’re taking us into this spirit realm or shamanic realm or dream realm, this dizziness that begins to take us into the deeper nature of who we are.

And to really see, to feel, to understand, to gain insight into where our spirit is. You could say we’ve lost aspects of our spirit. That’s this idea of calling our spirit in our soul retrieval or our spirit is fragmented. And it’s these ideas of weaving these patterns back together or harmonizing them, cleaning them, clearing them, bringing order opening.

And so that scene as a vital, fundamental part of our healing is working in the spirit realm.

Sam Believ: Yeah, thank you for the answer. Recently, my title with whom I’ve been working for more than a year now. And previously I was working with his uncle and I was working with his dad. They come from Inga tradition here in Colo, but he had appendicitis, like literally in the ceremony.

He was like feeling really unwell. So we just took him to the hospital. We didn’t try and fix it through the spirit. So if you have appendicitis or a broken bone or something wrong with your teeth, Western medicine is amazing and I think western medicine is good for so many things, so there’s nothing wrong with it.

But if you’re you of spirit affliction, like in my opinion, a lot of chronic diseases or autoimmune diseases come from that psychosomatic slash spiritual place where. Then western medicine is yeah, it’s all in your head. Just move over. Just stop being depressed or whatever.

So this is where I think this approach comes really well, the traditional. So I think that there’s definitely a space somewhere in the future where you can have that side of it. It’s also gonna be more complete. And as you said, most of the western medicine, most allopathic medicine is coming from plants as well.

Like the anesthesia we have comes from the, from indigenous people from ra karate, s like the poisons. And we learned a lot from it. And there, there should be a place for alliance and for a more complete version of the medicine. Honestly, that’s what I’m, that’s what I’m hoping for.

I don’t know if you’ve heard from any shamans you work with or taros or, there’s this notion and this understanding of medicines only now specifically in this period of time, leaving the jungle, leaving the mountain, and going to the city, going to the civiliz as people do. Do you think there is a reason why it’s happening now?

Have you heard anything about that as in a sort of bigger, like almost prophetical level of spreading of this medicines?

Jason Grechanik: Yeah. I think as you said I have tremendous respect for doctors doctors of all forms because when someone comes to you and they’re sick, it’s a tremendous responsibility you’re taking on. And ultimately medicine is medicine. Anything that works. Good medicine and I think that’s really important to to always remember.

Healing is a extremely complex art. It’s as complex as the universe, as complex as the human being. And so I think any good doctor is going to be open to any medicine that works, whether that’s an indigenous doctor or western doctor. Ultimately the idea is to help people and to always work with whatever form works.

That’s also related to the question about these medicines moving out of the jungle or moving out of the mountains into more civilized areas. It’s a big subject. I’m a. I would say a big believer and part is belief, but I think also part is a deeper knowledge that, that I’ve seen, which is that really what a lot of these traditional cultures all over the world have been saying that time moves in cycles that, that humans and culture and societies are cyclical and that we’ve had great ages in the past and I think more people are becoming open to that idea that there have been civilizations in the past that were very advanced.

Even now in the Amazon there, they’re finding because there, there’s not the traditional methods of stone or artifacts in that way but through lidar and unfortunately to some degree the destruction of the Amazon, they’re also finding that there were civilizations in the Amazon.

What is the civilized world? What’s the not civilized world? What time periods, what epochs are we talking about? My sense is that, I think a lot of people who begin working with these plants they often begin to describe them as a very high technology, which is often related to this idea of cosmovision and literally to cosmology.

That literally these technologies originated from the stars. They originated from places that were are much more advanced than we as humans are at this moment. And so I think that’s a very fascinating cosmovision. And all of the indigenous people that I’ve worked with would say is such that these plants originated from the stars.

Maybe not their physical beings, but the spirits of them came from the stars. And so it’s this idea that even in that cosmovision, these plants had a purpose. They descended the 12 dimensions of time and space came to this planet because it’s often, one of the origin stories is that even eons ago, humans were suffering.

And so these, the spirits of these plants were gifts, remedies, medicines, to help people to end that suffering. And it would often be said that the reason human suffering is because humans had forgotten who they were and where they came from. And so even today, as these medicines, as you said, begin to leave the jungles to the mountains, I would say it’s, for me, it’s that same origin story.

It’s that they’re coming from technologies that are more advanced and where we as humans or cultures are at right now because there’s a deep need because we as humans. Have also forgotten who we are and where we came from. And these plants are remedies to help us to remember that, to help to heal, as you said, this soul sickness, this spirit sickness that I think so many humans are feeling these things of feeling loss, feeling confused.

We’ve forgotten our stories, we’ve forgotten our origin myth. We’ve forgotten this interconnectedness, which leaves us feeling separated and depressed and anxious and unwell. And so there is an intelligence in these plants that is moving out because they’re needed. And ultimately, if these plants are medicine, the goal, the animating life force of medicine is to heal.

And so they’re going to heal to where it’s needed.

Sam Believ: Yeah. You literally touched on the two topics that were going to be my last two questions for you. So it’s almost like we’re following the same agenda. Which is not pre-planned, but it’s interesting which is the suffering and the duality and then the big civilizations in Amazon and like discovery of the medicine.

So but before that, I like that understanding that we’re physically very advanced. Like we can spaceships and smartphones and internet. Like you’re in Portugal and I’m here in Colombia and we are having a conversation that’s amazing. But physically and like technologically we’re, we feel like we’re on top of the world and we’ve never been better, but spiritually we’re extremely poor.

I, I would say that. Thousands of years ago, we were much more advanced. Like all those traditions, when you become a part of them, you’re like, wow, these guys, they really know their stuff. And I have a feeling regarding those past civilizations. And honestly, I am, I’m a big fan of Graham Hancock’s work, and I really hope, Graham, if you’re listening, let’s let’s talk.

I don’t think he’s listening, but it would be great to interview him because there seems to be a connection. And I have a feeling that there was a time before where we were both technologically advanced and also spiritually advanced. Because I almost feel if the beginning use of the plant medicines is for healing, but then the end of it is for learning because you can learn about universe and so many things.

And even like the computers we use right now, they were. The technology was created by people who were tripping on LSD. It’s pretty well known. So I think sometime before this big apo apocalypse or whatever Graham Hancock talks about, there was a period of time because building those pyramids, for example, that’s not a single simple feat.

And a lot of people don’t understand that we would not be able to recreate some of the things that Egyptians did, like it’s just impossible as because of the space and type of materials. And as an engineer, I can clearly see that there’s more to it. And interestingly enough not that I’m obsessed with the topic, but when I first drank, I wascan many times after, and out of thousands of people came through my retreat.

Some people, for some reason tend to have experiences based around Egyptian cosmology. Like my first experience was all about pyramids for some reason. I received a clear message that if I go to Egypt, I’ll receive a gift. I still haven’t went. It was five, six years ago now. So I just, I need to find them.

But then I had experiences where I would hang out with like Egyptian gods and they would teach me things and it’s like, why? I never been to Egypt. I don’t think about Egypt. Why would it come to me through an Amazonian medicine? Then I drank the medicine. There’s this wilker traditional, which is San Pedro and then a DMT snuff that the shaman told me that they were drinking San Pedro in a, this megalithic temple through San Pedro.

They were able to understand the writings on the wall and some kind of message came to them, which taught them how to do WIL care. So it’s like a new but all tradition that was rediscovered through psychedelics. So it’s really fascinating. And the fact that I ask itself is a very complex technology.

Like how the hell did they mix the two plans and all of this? There’s so many questions in the direction. I don’t know if you know anything about it or you wanna talk about it? A little bit.

Jason Grechanik: Yeah. It’s a big subject. A, as you said, the e even just the ayahuasca brew is a very complex technology. For me, these things aren’t super hard to understand in the sense that I think when people begin to develop relationship with plants, that’s, again why they’re called teacher plants is they can’t teach us and we can receive very direct insight.

Through the altered space, through the dream space. We can receive messages from plants of how to prepare the plant or what the remedy to use is. So it, it’s not farfetched for me to believe that someone also received that information of ayahuasca. And yet the origin stories are saying that these technologies were given to us by more advanced beings from the stars.

And that’s not just an Amazonian origin story. You literally find that story all over the world. And every culture that I studied, it’s something that just personally I’m very interested and fascinated by. And it just, you find it all over the world. These often beings that, that came from the ocean.

Often, like the seven wise men, the seven sisters correlated the ple. And a, as you said, like we all have, we’re all unique, we all, we’re all unique beings. We all have unique gifts. We all have unique life paths. Some people are born to play basketball that’s their calling. And some people aren’t.

Some people are more inclined to these spiritual paths and some people aren’t. And that’s why, as you’ve seen working in an ayahuasca center, like people have vastly different experiences on a plant like Ayahuasca. You wouldn’t even necessarily be able to say those two people are ingesting the same plant if you were simply looking at their experiences.

As you said, some people can have information about the pyramids and stars, and for one person it’s just understanding that their dad’s an okay person. Vastly different experiences. But some people obviously are called to, to, to that idea of Egypt. And I think Egypt is very fascinating in that,

We, and this kind of ties back to this idea of Cosmo vision. I always found it very interesting as a kid that like I would sometimes go out with my father and like sometimes we’d go on these bird watching like expeditions, I guess you’d call them. And there’d be all these people there with their cameras and they’d be like, oh, that’s that bird.

And they’d snap a photo and then they’d go to the next bird. And that’s that bird. And even as a kid I would, I found it very strange because it to me it just felt like they were trying to capture this thing and naming it, but they weren’t even really. Experiencing it, that there was no depth to it.

It was just this kind of grasping. And I think in the same way, like because of our cosmology and the stories we’ve been told, or like we look at the pyramids and it’s the pyramids. Like we even just give it a name and it’s a tomb or something. But if you really sit with that, if you really contemplate that, there’s something extraordinary there.

In the same way that we look up at the stars, and unfortunately a lot of people can’t look up at the Stars because they live in cities and there’s light pollution. But if you go somewhere and you can see the stars, for many people it’s a similar thing. They look up at the stars and it’s just, oh, that, that’s the stars.

Or maybe that’s Orion, or that’s the Big Dipper. If you really sit there and look at the stars. You can be in awe, like there, there’s something extremely deep there. And I think these pyramids for people who are really open to sit with that, there’s something extraordinary there. Even recently they maybe you saw, but there was a group of Italian scientists who use this new technology.

It’s this ground penetrating kind of sonar technology that works on sound. And they were mapping the pyramid at Giza the Kafra pyramid. And they were able to use this technology in very accurately map the inside of the pyramid and even discover a couple new rooms inside the pyramid. But they also noticed there was structures at the base of the pyramid, which at first they just thought was, might not be anything, but then they began to look more.

And what they’re claiming is that there’s something like eight cylindrical. Structures descending from the coffer pyramid at its base, which are something like 648 meters below continuously, and there’s a spiral form to these eight cylindrical structures at the bottom of 648 meters. They opened to two 80 by 80 meter cubic chambers.

The idea that the pyramids were built with stones and copper tools and that those people would have the ability to hollow the earth 648 meters to any rational person, that makes absolutely no sense. That’s why I was saying, the cosmovision really shapes our reality. If we don’t.

Have the possibility that there were advanced civilizations, then we have to come up with some very mundane explanation or just not really think about it or not look at these things in a sense of awe because it doesn’t fit our Cosmo vision. But if the Cosmo vision is open that there were very advanced civilizations, then you can look at that and say, my God, like something there is beyond what I understand.

And I think for someone who’s in that state and of course all of those things can be taken to an extreme to where we can believe things that also are maybe not true. Maybe be in states of grandiosity and illusion and delusion. But I think for some people who are open to that, these plants, because you mentioned that these plants are for healing and also knowledge and I think a lot of people.

Even we use that word with these plants. They’re medicine. But traditionally that’s not the words that were correlated to these plants. The words that were usually correlated to them had more to do with some aspect of knowledge or wisdom. For example, the SPI people who I worked with their word for ayahuasca is not ayahuasca.

That’s a Quechua word. Their word for ayahuasca is uni. And uni has some meaning of knowledge. And so someone who works with uni is an anaya, someone who has knowledge, a wisdom keeper. And so I think these plants in their fundamental aspects are much more plants of knowledge. Healing is a byproduct.

Healing. We have to heal. We have to be healthy and hold in order to be able to go into the deeper aspects of this knowledge. ’cause it literally can shake our worldview. But I think for some people. As you were saying, the these ideas of the pyramids come because they’re tapping into a technology, to a past that was, as you said, much more spiritually advanced.

And these plants, as they are gateways to knowledge, are beginning to put people into touch with that. And I think another way of looking at these plants is portals. They’re portals, and as you said, things can be discovered or rediscovered of going to a power place a megalithic site or somewhere in the mountains like you were describing, and using wachuma and wilke.

And then under the effects, under the dizziness of that actually being able to understand something, looking at those paintings or something and seeing in a different way the story that was passed down. And yeah, I think in this way, like these plants are very much portals and if people are open to that, if that’s part of their journey and that’s not the journey of everyone and that’s not inherently good or bad, it’s just we’re all different that these plants can be used as portals for a knowledge that, again, as I was saying, is.

Even beyond what we can imagine a knowledge of the stars and a knowledge of something that’s ancient. Something that’s getting us much closer to the, to, to the nature of spirit of God, of something that’s highly complexed. And which is also why often these traditions had very long initiatory experiences, very long trainings, because to be able to hold that knowledge, one needs a tremendous capability because also that knowledge can be extremely overwhelming and cause people psychosis, mental breakdowns.

It’s the kind of the classic story of the bag Gita is, it’s the story of Arjuna preparing for war. And he’s having a direct dialogue with kina who’s a manifestation of God. And Krishna comes to him in his anthropomorphized form, his human form, because that’s what Arjuna is able to comprehend is him as a human.

But eventually, Arjuna gets very comfortable with God, with Kna. And he says to him, can you show me your true form? And Kna warns him. He says, are you sure you wanna see me in my true form? And Arjuna in his comfortability, in his hubris says, yeah, show me your true form. Krishna transforms himself into his true form, which is, I think literally said he shows his 10,000 fold face and 10,000 is very ancient, esoteric number for infinity.

And when Arjuna sees him in his true form, he drops to his knees and he begs, and he pleads him to go back to his human form because it’s so overwhelming. It’s so awe inspiring. It’s so terrifying. It’s so horrific. It’s so beautiful that he can’t comprehend it. It’s too much, it’s too much information.

And so God has to go back to his human form. So that’s maybe a long answer but I hope that kind of conveyed that, that point.

Sam Believ: Long answer is what we like. But yeah, we, it’s time for us to wrap up. Thank you for the, thank you for the interview. Thank you for your wisdom. I think it was really interesting and also entertaining.

So tell us tell the listeners where they can find more about you and about your work.

Jason Grechanik: If they’re interested in my work I have a website which is nicotiana tika.org. It’s the Latin name for the type of tobacco we work with

Yeah. Yeah. And and also as you said I have a podcast which is called The Universe Within Podcast, and you can find that on all the big platforms, YouTube, Spotify, apple, and also I have an Instagram page that people are interested, Jason Hannick.

So yeah, any of those are good ways.

Sam Believ: Hopefully I’ll be a guest on your podcast soon.

Jason Grechanik: That’s absolutely, so that’s the next that’s the next round.

Sam Believ: Cool. Thank you Jason. Thank you guys for listening. As always, we, the host and I’ll see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a, like, wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Dennis McKenna, PhD—renowned ethnopharmacologist, author, co-founder of the McKenna Academy, and pioneer in psychedelic research for over 40 years. A central figure in the psychedelic renaissance, Dennis has explored the intersection of plant medicine, indigenous wisdom, and science since the 1970s.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Dennis’ early trips to Colombia and the origins of the “La Chorrera” experiment (05:10)
  • The unexpected role of mushrooms in his spiritual awakening (11:50)
  • DMT and the search for orally active psychedelics (15:30)
  • Shifts in his scientific path after the La Chorrera experience (22:20)
  • Conducting biomedical studies with the UDV in Brazil (31:45)
  • Differences between psilocybin and ayahuasca (45:15)
  • The ethics and cultural impact of ayahuasca tourism (49:00)
  • Sustainable ayahuasca cultivation and community economics (53:30)
  • The myth of how indigenous people discovered ayahuasca (59:10)
  • The importance of preserving tradition in modern psychedelic use (1:06:40)
  • The vision for global symbiosis between North and South through plant medicine (1:13:20)
  • Climate change and the message of Gaia through psychedelics (1:17:55)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Dennis McKenna at https://mckenna.academy or on Instagram @dennismckenna_

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Dennis McKenna: Humans have always carried plants wherever they go. People talk about bio piracy and all that, but in a way that’s an exaggerate. That’s tricky thing because that presumes in some ways that indigenous people assert an ownership of the plants and the knowledge.

But my limited experience, the people I’ve talked to, they weren’t all indigenous, but they were traditional healers. They love to share what they know. They’re impressed that you’ve come all this way to learn what they know about plants. They do not see that you’re there to steal their knowledge.

Sam Believ: Amazing. Thank you for doing it because maybe if you didn’t do those studies, it would not popularize. Maybe I would never even learn about ayahuasca and never started my retreat and never started this podcast. So it’s it’s really important. The work that you did earlier.

Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we, the whole assembly. Today I have a, an extremely special guest As you can see, Dennis McKenna, we’re coming to you from MAPS conference. Dennis is a PhD and esteemed ethno pharmacologist research scientist and author with over four decades of experience studying plant medicine, psychedelics, and indigenous healing traditions.

He’s a founder of the McKenna Academy of Natural Philosophy, where he continues to explore the frontiers of consciousness, science and ecology. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Ra, connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Dennis.

Welcome to the show. Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here. First of all, I just was at your presentation. It was amazing. I really love the message you’re putting out there and you’re, the things that you’ve done when you were younger that impacted the world of psychedelics and now, like you see this space with thousands of people coming through, none of that would be possible if you didn’t write those books.

So that’s

Dennis McKenna: You to say. I don’t think that’s really true. I can’t take, I can’t take either credit for blame or blame for all of that. I know that Terrence and I were influential, and that’s great. I think we were influential, but, I think. In some ways, this is an expression of this co-evolution I was talking about in the talk.

I really do believe the plants are running things in a certain sense, and we are at a critical juncture in the life of this planet. And I think that if anything, the sentient community of species is trying to send us a message to wake up to what we are doing to the planet before it’s too late.

It’s almost too late. We’re a very fractious species. We don’t listen very much, very well, and we’re in great danger. And so I think the earth even recognizes this, I think they’re influential people like my brother, myself, and many people here, we can’t take much of the blame, much of the credit or blame.

For example, Paul Stats, if you saw his talk, he is the now and very influential, and the movement, or the psychedelic community needs such people. But really this is another man manifestation of the co-evolution with these substances. And we, because we’re at a critical juncture, they’re becoming more visible, they’re becoming more loud, they’re becoming more, their message is becoming more strident, you could say.

It’s like they’re trying to send a message, which is wake up.

And understand what is happening and try to respond appropriately.

Sam Believ: We have many people that come to drink ayahuasca with us in Columbia, and they, some of them receive that message like, oh, the earth is struggling.

And they share it, share button. It’s a very common message because I believe what you’re saying with the plants being able to talk to us and giving a message and with the plants like ayahuasca and fungi like mushrooms, psilocybin mushrooms being, being the messengers for Gaia, as you said in your presentation.

I wanted to talk to you about Columbia because you’re one of the very few people that mentioned Ayahuasca in Columbia, Jacque I’ve heard you talk about in different podcasts and a lot of people when they think about Ayahuasca, they think about Peru or Costa Rica, and I was really delighted to find that.

When you traveled in, in your famous, or as you say, infamous lare experiment, right? You decided to go to Columbia. Tell us why did you go to Columbia? And

Dennis McKenna: The reason for that is simple in some ways. So the reason we ended up going to Lara is that we were on a quest to find a particular exotic hallucinogen that we were, and back in those days, they called them hallucinogens.

Even we did, but we were trying to find this exotic hallucinogen, an orally active preparation made for virola, which is a species of tree that the sap contains high levels of tryptamines, and in many parts of the Amazon by the, it’s used as a snuff. The sap is extracted, dried, powdered, and used as a snuff, like the yet ma, for example, do this.

And, but. We were interested in the oral activity. So there was a paper by re Schulte. We were interested in DMT mainly, and we’d experimented with synthetic DMT, but it didn’t last long enough. So our motivation was to find a longer laxing form of DMT so that we could understand that space better.

And then this paper by Richard Schulte, the fil botanist, we stumbled across and it was called Varroa as an orally active hallucinogen. So we were aware of that paper and we decided, we thought maybe this is it. Maybe this is the secret that we’re looking for. We didn’t know about ayahuasca at that time.

1971, we knew about it. Not some people knew about it. Very few people knew that it was also an orally active form of DMT. The role of the admixture plants was not very well understood at that time. Schulte had graduate students and other people that were investigating it, but we didn’t really know the importance of, so we weren’t looking for ayahuasca.

We were looking for this witoto drug preparation, which was called, which they called.

And the reason we went to Lara is because that was the ancestral home of the Witoto people. So there was no particular mystery about going there. We just read in the paper, these are the people that have it and they live here.

It turns out Lara has a lot greater significance of that. But that was why we went to Lara. I was looking for this thing. We weren’t really looking for ayahuasca. We certainly weren’t looking for mushrooms. So when we got to Lara. It turned out that this little tiny mission village, they’d cleared pasture around the village, cleared all the forests, and they had pasture.

So they had all these sebu cattle grazing about 200 acres around the village, and it was a wet, rainy season, and pretty much out of every cow pie was growing. Huge clusters of CMY ensis, so we knew what that was. We had no experience, but we’d done our homework. We knew what it was, and our attitude toward that was very cavalier.

We thought these will be great. We can have fun with these. We looked at it totally as recreational experience while we’re waiting for the U Khe to show up the proper informant or find someone that could tell us about U Khe and the mushrooms. We started eating the mushrooms rather. Excessively and we were very cavalier and casual about it, but soon it got very serious ’cause they made it clear we were having these really intense sessions on pretty much a daily basis.

So we’d incorporated it into our diet and the mushrooms made it clear that they were the secret, they were what we’d really come for. And then, the whole story from that.

Sam Believ: Yeah. So I actually, I don’t think I finished the book, but I started reading the book by your brother about that experience where he mentions you also a lot and it’s interesting that you mentioned Richard Alvin short as well.

’cause you were reading his papers and he was the ethnobotanist that kinda recently in that time. Boosted the popularity of Ayahuasca. And it he was also exploring it in Columbia, but then something happened and probably Narcos happened and Columbia was overlooked for psychedelic tourism for better and for worse.

And, what I’m trying to do now is kind slowly bring more people to Columbia because it deserves to be si seen for this side of it. And rebranded from bad drugs to good drugs, from cocaine to Ayahuasca.

Dennis McKenna: There’s certainly, there’s as much as Peru or Ecuador, Brazil, or other places.

Ayahuasca’s been known and used in Columbia just as much, i, other than my trips to Lara and a couple of other trips I went to Columbia again in 1985 to meet my friend Louis, Eduardo Luna, who is from Columbia. He grew up in Florencia. And I went to visit him because he was, he had organized a conference on Ayahuasca at the world world Congress of what was it?

The world. I forget exactly what it was, but it was an anthropological conference, big one. And he’d ordered, he’d organized a satellite conference on Ayahuasca and invited me, and this was 1985. So I had just recently finished my PhD and published on it. So I went down there and presented my papers, but then we.

We went to Florencia and I visited his family and I, saw where he grew up. But then we continued on to Peru and did some field work there. So that was really my second time in Columbia. And I really haven’t been there since, I know. But I know it’s very, there, there’s a lot going on there and I’ve heard Columbia’s gotten, it’s really changed.

My I don’t have to tell you ’cause you’re from there, but for the better in many ways. Absolutely. My friend Wade Davis, who helped me, I’ve worked with for many years on different projects and he helped me organize this Coca Conference in February and in Peru. But he. Loves Columbia.

He’s even a Colombian citizen.

Sam Believ: They gifted him a citizenship after he wrote his book about Magdalena River. And I spoke to him a couple times. He’s supposed to come visit me and have an interview, but he’s very hard to catch.

Dennis McKenna: He’s hard to get and he travels a lot. Yeah. And, but he wrote a book about Columbia, mag River of Grebes.

Have you read it? I read it, yes. It is a wonderful book.

Sam Believ: It’s a wonderful book. And I learned a lot about history of Columbia. Yeah. From his book. So you talk in the Lare experiment, you started taking large quantities of those mushrooms and you were experimenting with sound, and then it was scientific, but then you, yourself considered there was somewhat s pseudoscientific.

In your presentation today, you talked about how. Many big discoveries were inspired by psychedelics the discovery of the helix of the DNA and and I forgot the first one, but even the modern computer age. A lot of people that created those the math necessary for this equations, they were inspired by LSD.

So what, how does one tell the difference between whether it’s real or not? Or maybe it’s real, but we’re not advanced enough yet to understand it. Just to talk to us about how did you know whether the science you were doing there with the mushrooms, was it real or was it not real? How does one tell a difference?

How did we know it? The sides we were doing with mushrooms. So you were ex lare experiment. You were trying to figure out the vibrations and the sound, and then you were taking mushrooms and then DMT, and you were. You were trying to create science, but then you said that it was not really science.

So

Dennis McKenna: it wasn’t really science, we thought it was, or we were under the delusion that we were doing science. What we were doing, I believe, was probably, we were creating a myth, in a certain, we were livid. We were visualizing a myth while we lived it. And that’s said it wasn’t really science.

And that, that’s one reason after Laira, I went back to school and that’s what led me to go into science, because I came back from LA with a strong feeling that I needed to learn how to do science, what science really was. My brother, his position was science will never explain what happened to us there.

So he just rejected science. He rejected it. Said, science is not up to the task of explaining what happened. And I was saying, wait a minute, we are not scientists. We may think we’re scientists, but we’re not scientists. Until we know how to do science, we should not reject science out of hand. You can’t just say that.

It’ll never explain it. So my own mission when I came back was and went back to school and I was only, I wasn’t even, I was a sophomore in college, second year of college. But I said, I’m gonna, I’m gonna study science, and I shifted my studies from, I was anthropology, comparative religion, sub botany, everything.

But I shifted much more toward the life sciences. I started studying biochemistry and chemistry and botany and all these things ’cause. I wanted to get a handle on something real because what we had been dealing with was very slippery because it wasn’t real. I wanted to get a firm grip on something real, and that was how do these drugs work?

What are the molecules, what’s the pharmacology and all that stuff. Really look at it from that level and not really the spiritual level or anything else. Not that I dismissed that at all, it’s just I wanted to understand the nuts and bolts of these things, and I completed, I didn’t really have opportunity to do that.

I completed my studies at the University of Colorado. I got my degree. And then I went, I took a detour academically. I went to Hawaii and I studied, I got a master’s degree at the University of Hawaii. And and then I got an opportunity to pursue my doctoral research at UBC in Canada. And after I finished in Hawaii in, and when I originally came to UBC, we had agreed that I was gonna study psilocybin in some respect.

I was gonna study mushrooms and study the biosynthesis in the enzymology and all that of psilocybin then. And that’s what I came there for. And I did that for about a year. But it was very frustrating for me. For one thing, I had a bad accident, bicycle accident when I first came. So I was in the hospital for a few weeks.

And and then the courses I was taking, I just transferred from Hawaii and with this accident and being stranger in a strange land, I didn’t know anybody. I was taking these very difficult courses and fungal genetics and mostly that was defeated and advanced organic chemistry and all that.

’cause I wanted to continue those studies and I was flailing a little bit. I was, this was not rewarding to me and I was, flailing and even failing these courses and having had the accident didn’t help either. My supervisor Neil Towers, who was very kind and a very perceptive fellow a real mentor, sense that I was having a difficult time and he said maybe you’d like to go to Peru for a while. I’ve got some extra money in the grant. Maybe I ought to, think about going down to Peru. And I basically said, yeah, my bags are packed. When do I leave? So I shifted my whole study from psilocybin to Ayahuasca at that point.

And my doctoral studies became a comparison between the biochem. So ayahuasca is an orally active DMT based preparation, right? And this virola preparation that we went to Lara in 71 different plants, but similar chemistry and similar mechanisms of action. So by thesis work by doctoral. Project became to compare these two, a comparative ethno pharmacological investigation of ayahuasca.

Its admixture plants and its chemistry compared to, and its plants of its chemistry. So that’s what I ended up doing for my for my graduate work. And and I published and because at Lara we had it, we didn’t really obtain U Coe. It took a long time. Eventually we found some, but when I went to Peru it was easy enough to get it because we went to Peru and we went to a place called PUCO Kio, which was a village on a river that was a tributary of the Amazon, the Rio Ku.

And it was the. Diaspora of the Witoto people in the Laro was their ancestral home, but early in the 20th century, they were forced out of there, and many of them relocated down to the area of Koki. Many of them were killed. There was, it was a horror, it was an atrocity, the trail from Lara to El Canto, which we walked, when we went to Lara, was built on the blood of slaves, Indians that were enslaved to build this road so they could transport rubber out of there for harvesting rubber.

So the Witoto people, culturally and everything else were highly impacted, really devastated, but a lot of them relocated down to the Rio Aku area and, so we knew that and we decided to go there to see if we could get ou. It was not so easy, even when we got to Lara, we had an anthropologist who highly discouraged us from trying to get this stuff.

‘Cause he said it’s their biggest shamonic secret. If you go in talking about it, they’re gonna go nuts. You’re not even supposed to know, you’re not even supposed to say anything. It’s the big secret, so we didn’t get it at Laira until some months later. Actually, Terrence returned to Laira that same year and eventually got it.

But so it was secret knowledge even at Laira and what we expected, and what we found was that when we went to the KU to look for it. It, it was a dying tradition. Manali was disappearing, but we did find people there, both the Witoto and Bora and Ani, their re, their culture related tribes and they all, and a lot of ’em said, yeah, I remember how my grandfather made this stuff, I know how to, I think I know how to do it.

And they were quite willing to make samples for us and, to the best of their ability as they remembered how to do it. It’s not rocket science, if you know the right trees and you know how to prepare it, you can get an active form of this kuey. So out of that, we had maybe four or five informants, people that prepared samples for us and and of course I’d bioassays some of them in the.

In the field, because if you’re an ethno pharmacologist, that’s what you do, right? You gotta a bioassay. That’s the job description. Some of them were active and some of them were active, and some of ’em were completely inactive, but we only had a total of seven or eight samples when I got those samples back to the lab, and I could look at the actual chemical profiles of those.

It all made sense, because unlike ayahuasca, VIRs chemically very, there’s a lot of variation. Even in the same species. You will not, you’ll find different alkaloid profiles. So it’s a more complicated picture, a little bit. But eventually, but I, and I collected on this graduate work, this field work.

Then the other side of my work was looking at ayahuasca. I collected many samples of ayahuasca from different practitioners. And there was one in particular Don Fidel in Alpa, that he was my first informant. Yeah, I spent time with him and he was happy to prepare samples and show us how it was made.

And so I, the idea is to get some samples in models and get ’em back to the laboratory, which I was able to do and publish the thesis. And, but that’s what made so that was my scientific work on Ayahuasca. But in the process, I took Ayahuasca quite a few times and discovered, I guess who might call this spiritual, the personal spiritual relationship with Ayahuasca, which lasted.

It’s not over. I still use Ayahuasca occasionally and respect it and and I think it’s a amazing medicine, and really should be more investigated. I’ve been involved, as you probably know, in this project that we did at Brazil called the wa the Wasco Project with the UDV.

You’re aware of this, you, I’ve heard that they

Sam Believ: did some studies, but I’m not on, yeah.

Dennis McKenna: In 1993, so I got my degree in 1984, and I did postdocs for a long time. Most of the eighties. I did postdocs, different places, not really working on any of this, but in 1993, I was invited to a 1991.

I was invited to a symposium. That was being organized by the UDV, which is the Brazilian church that uses ayahuasca as a sacrament. They call it

Sam Believ: like vegetable union or the name UDV, vegetable Union

Dennis McKenna: Vegetal. Yeah. That, that al And they use ayahuasca as a sacrament and they call Itasca. And which is basically Portuguese Trump’s literation, I think of Ayahuasca. But they invited me and some other investigators, including Ardal Luna, to a symposium a conference that they organized about ayahuasca in 1991.

And people came and presented their results and stuff that there were a lot of researchers. All 12 of us, there weren’t so many. We came and we gave our talks and so on. But, and then they said, and then we found out what they really were interested in was doing a biomedical study of ayahuasca.

And Eduardo and I had talked about this too previously, when we’d been in Peru, we thought in terms of we, context of our conversation was that we thought that Iowa skis were remarkable people, physiologically and mentally because they were, many of them are quite aged, but they were cognitively quite functional and healthy and strong and and they’d take ayahuasca all night and then they’d get up and chop trees all day.

And man, these people are super bad, and we thought this is worth looking into. And that was our naive sort of thing. But then, so we thought we need to do a biomedical study, but then. The logistics of doing a biomedical study in Peru were daunting. How do you get samples and how do you given the shamanic context, the ceremonial context, you can’t really approach these people and say could we have some blood samples?

Can we have some urine? No, because I think you’re a sorcerer. And that it’s tricky. So we said we’d like to do it, but it’s impossible. We don’t have access to refrigeration. Much less funding. We had no funding for it. But but when we went to, when I did the conference at UU, at, in, in Sao Paulo with the UDV.

It turned out that was their agenda. Really. That was their secret agenda. They wanted to get outside investigators to and do a biomedical study of Ayahuasca orca, as they called it, to Devin to find out more about how it worked, and hopefully to show that it was safe, and it was not dangerous.

There was the Brazilian drug Regulatory Agency, which was called, call it confin, like a combination of the DEA and the FDA in our country. There was a lot of discussion about whether ayahuasca is a public health menace and should it be banned and all that. So they wanted out time outside investigators with credentials to come in and investigate it and see if it was a dangerous thing or just get basic measurements.

Their hope was that. That we would be able to show that it wasn’t dangerous and it wasn’t toxic, which of course it’s not, so that part was easy, but we collected a lot of data and published that, and so at this 1991 conference they told us basically that was their agenda.

So we thought great. So we went back and tried to get some funding for it and and were able to get some funding. I was able to secure some funds from one of the Rockefellers among other Lawrence Rockefeller, who had, was actually enthusiastic about visionary plants. So we got enough money. We went back in 1993 and we did the biomedical study.

And then from that we published about eight papers came out over the next decade. Quite a, quite, it was the first. Real biomedical investigation of Ayahuasca. And it sparked the research that, if you look at PubMed now, I mean at that time there were less than a dozen articles about Ayahuasca and Pub Med, which is the National Library of Medicine resource for biomedical research.

If you look at Ayahuasca now on PubMed, there are over 600 studies. So it really triggered the research,

Sam Believ: amazing. Thank you for doing it because maybe if you didn’t, once again, because it’s going so, so much back in the past, maybe if you didn’t do them in those studies, it would not popularize, maybe I would never even learn about ayahuasca and never started my retreat and never started this podcast.

So it’s it’s really important, the work that you did earlier, and we shouldn’t take that.

Dennis McKenna: We know all about it. There’s a lot of work to be done left on ayahuasca. We really barely scratched the surface in some, I, we did this biomedical study, which was medically oriented than they had an agenda.

My orientation and interest really is more as an ethyl botanist. So I’m interested in, I’m interested in the physiology and all that, but I think the ethyl botany is, there’s still

Sam Believ: a lot we don’t know. So you mentioned something that is it’s not a rocket science once you know which are the right plants you mentioned in the, regarding ku or virola mixture.

But it’s a, it’s similar thing with ayahuasca. You talk about it a lot as well. How the hell do you think they figured out where were the right plans to mix it? People ask that question

Dennis McKenna: all the time. It’s not such a mystery as it turns out, it’s not such a mystery there.

One of our presenters at ESPD 50, in 2017, es still botanist, anthropologist named Manuel Torres who’s looked into this pretty extensively and he, I’ll send you the link to his talk. It wasn’t an accidental discovery. Exactly. Obviously trial and error was involved, but there was a certain era, a certain part of the VAs where peru, Columbia and basically Peru, Columbia and Brazil came together. It was a very active

kind of experimental ethyl pharmacology laboratory in some ways, you could say, not in any formal sense, but people were mucking around with plants and there was a lot of brewing going on. Cheecha making cheecha, right? They had snuffs, they had banisteriopsis, not necessarily using it together, but they had these plants.

They were using bear opsis medicinally. They were chewing the vine for dental health and that sort of thing. They had the snuffs containing the DMT. They had the very active chi culture and basically these chicha. The speculation is that these, the people that were making these different varieties, cheecha, it wasn’t one thing.

They dump all kinds of things into the cheecha. Occasionally, we have craft brewers here in Denver that’ll do the same thing. They’re always looking for the next flavor iteration or, the next formulation. These guys were experimental. Eventually they just got the right combination. They put some opposite in, and maybe one of the admixture plants, or maybe it was even virola, but they got, beta.

The basis of ayahuasca of pharmacology is the beta carboline that inhibit oxidase. And then DMT is activated. It’s orally activated. DMT is in lots of plants, so are beta Carlenes. They’re not that rare, and you’re in an environment where people are making this stuff and you’re in the middle of the Amazonian biodiversity.

So it’s not so surprising that they would combine these things. They might be familiar with the effects of snuff, for example. I don’t think there was, I don’t think they were thinking about this with the same mindset that a pharmacologist or a chemist would I, we would think of it in those terms.

You, but in a way, they were chemists, they were experimental pharmacologists. So they were just, let’s dump some of this in there. Let’s some dump something else, drink it, see what happens. Eventually they showed up with the right formula. Yeah. So it’s not such a, it’s not, the cure Deros will tell.

You ask them how do they know? And they will tell you the plants told us, but that’s not an answer really. That’s a myth the plants told us. Sure they told you, but how did they tell you,

Sam Believ: Maybe the same way they told about double Helix and the DNA, maybe there was, but yeah, that, like how do you get a psychedelic revelation without having a psychedelic compounds like the chicken and the eggs are?

Absolutely,

Dennis McKenna: and these were people immersed in the plant world. They were experimental, they were medicine people, and they had all the biodiversity of the Amazon to play around with. And eventually they just stumbled across it. I can tell you a story from bar. From my quest for the, when we went to the Rio Ku it was very remarkable in a way.

So we went there and we connected with these informants and they were saying always remember, don’t really, we don’t do it anymore. We don’t know, but I said, but they said, we know what the plants are. And so we went into the field with some of these guys and we collected plants, barks, and different, mostly bark, but other parts of it.

Then we’d ask them, is this the right species? Is this the one, is this forte? Is this not forte? And they’d say, yeah, this one’s no good. That one’s forte. That’s good. So we had, I don’t know, 15 or 20 different specimens that they’d done this.

Screening in the field with, and and they would look at it, they would taste it. They would smell it, and they’d look at the bark and taste it and they’d say, no forte, or not forte. And and so then when I got, so we had this sort of screening in the field when I got the samples back to the lab and could actually run it all through the gas chromatograph and so on, profile these things a hundred percent match, the samples they said were strong, had the alkaloids at high levels.

The ones they said weren’t strong either, didn’t have ’em at all or very low levels. So that’s a testimony. Testimony to the power of experimental ethyl pharmacology. These guys didn’t have gas chromatographs. They had taste and smell and experience of the organoleptic properties. So they could, they were very astute.

And you know about the doctrine of signatures and all that. Herbalist are very clever at intuiting the probable medicinal qualities of plants. And it’s often based on color is a factor, or, some plant, the leaf resembles a heart, so it’s good for your heart. This doctrine of signatures idea, or again, epileptic clues like tastes and smell.

And that’s how they do it. That’s how they put these formulas together.

Sam Believ: Amazing. Great great way to, to think about it. You wrote your thesis on you started working with mushrooms and then you switched to ayahuasca. So you’re the very right person to ask that question. And it’s the question I get asked all the time, what is the difference?

What is better? What is worse? Both pharmacologically, ethno, botanically. And from your personal experience, do you have a, do you have a

Dennis McKenna: favorite? It yeah. I wrote the paper, I and did the work and the course of doing that took ayahuasca quite a few times. And then when I worked with the UDV, even more ayahuasca has been a major, I guess plant ally, you could say with me.

Although I never formally I didn’t, I was not bailed to become an ayahuasquero. I wasn’t looking at, I was looking at it more from a scientific point of view, but I enjoyed taking ayahuasca and had profound experiences. It’s been a planned ally for forever, since that time.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I believe you’re very passionate about the topic of not separating the plants and medicinal tradition, medicinal plants and psychedelic plants. Not separating them from their tradition as in separating a plant from the roots. And you talk a lot about, the dangers of that, that we should not put them in the pill.

Can you talk to us a little bit about that, about separating the separating ayahuasca from Ayahuasca tradition, for example? I think, yeah,

Dennis McKenna: I think this is.

It is a difficult, it is a difficult thing because in some ways ayahuasca can benefit lots of people, whether they’re indigenous or not. When you start talking about intellectual property and all that, and indigenous knowledge and are we co-opting indigenous knowledge to make ayahuasca? Now ayahuasca is a global phenomenon.

There’s probably more ayahuasca being grown in Hawaii than there is in Peru. I would, I don’t know, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but there’s a lot of it. It’s inevitable. This kind of goes back to what we were talking about before. Plants are running things, the plants like to spread. One of the major agents of spreading are human beings, and that’s true of all plants.

Humans have always carried plants wherever they go. People talk about bio piracy and all that, but in a way that’s an exaggerate. That’s not really, that’s a tricky thing because that presumes in some ways that indigenous people assert and ownership of the plants and the knowledge and they don’t really have that attitude.

Or maybe some do, or maybe they are beginning to, because they’ve been informed by non-indigenous people that you know, you should be more protective of your plants and your knowledge. But they’re my limited experience. The people I’ve talked to who were by no means they weren’t all indigenous, but they were traditional healers, they love to share what they know.

They’re impressed that you’ve come. All this way to learn what they know about plants. They do not see that you’re there to steal their knowledge. They see that you’re there to learn from their knowledge. The problem is, I think Ayahuasca is one of the major, if you saw my talk and it talked about the GAAN ambassadors, I think Ayahuascan and mushrooms are one of the two main GAAN ambassadors that are trying to wake us up as a species.

Psilocybin is, there’s less of an issue because there are hundreds of species and they’re all over the world. Only a fraction have indigenous use. Potentially many more could be used there. You’re not contaminating any one’s tradition or stealing their knowledge because you could go to the forest with a mycologist and collect plants that have.

No indication of traditional use at all. And there you could use those. Ayahuasca has always seemed to be, it really is not used outside of a cultural context, so it’s much more tied up with cultural practices. And I you run an ayahuasca retreat center. I used to organize ayahuasca retreats in Peru.

I did that through most of, from about 2010 until fairly recently. And I’ve come to have mixed feelings about whether that was a good thing. I, the people that came down to my retreats, I saw people. I saw enormous healing. I saw enormous benefits for these people. They came, they were sincere.

They were looking for something. They came, I helped organize the retreats, and they benefited a great deal, and but we didn’t really, I didn’t really think about what, what was going on. On the other side of that was this contaminating the culture. Because these were people who were, by the very fact they were there means that they were privileged people who could afford to fly to Peru and pay, for accommodations and all that at fairly high end tourist locations and so on, and do ayahuasca.

So they were definitely not poor, not rich either. A lot of, some were rich, but they could do it. But the question of what was the impact on. On the culture in the typical village, before there was an ayahuasca tourism phenomenon, ayahuasca was just a person in the village who was the local healer.

He wasn’t, he probably had other means of making a living that sometimes maybe that was his living, but definitely part of the community and not a rich person. And just part of the community and then all these gringo start coming down and they want to drink with, the great shaman, the great iowasca.

So then some of these people get elevated in status and suddenly they’re superstars they can make in a single night what a lot of their villagers maybe they make in a month or a year, so suddenly they’re, they’re elevated in status. That’s gotta generate a lot of resentment to my, in their community.

And you can understand why that would be. This guy’s capitalizing on our traditions and sharing, not sharing the wealth. Maybe some Iowa girls do share the do you know the temple of the way of light in Peru I’ve heard about is, yeah, that is maybe one example of somebody that’s tried to do it, right?

They work with several shabo shaman and a lot of people come, but they say, I don’t know if it’s true, but they say they send a hundred percent of their profits back to their community. If they really do that’s great. That’s an ethical thing to do. There are many who don’t. I don’t know how your practices are.

I don’t, I’m not pointing any fingers at you.

Sam Believ: I can share how we do it and what we try to do, for example, at my retreat center is make it affordable. So it’s actually. You still need to fly and it’s expensive, but anyone, even with the minimal wage, can save up for that experience.

It’s it’s the cheapest one is like $600, so that, that helps. But of course it’s still a lot of money. But if you think about it, that some people, for them it’s a life saving experience then it’s worth it. We have an indigenous shaman and he does earn a lot of money and so he is very happy.

The money does trickle down back to the community because to grow ayahuasca, it requires a lot of labor and it creates a lot of employment. But of course he earns much more than the laborers there is definitely a risk, but I think the offset of it is there will be young children that would otherwise not touch this tradition, because it was almost in, in that society was almost made negative.

Oh, you’re drinking ayahuasca. Like they, they want to be more westernized. If they see that there is a financial incentive in it, they might wanna pursue it and then also become a challenge. And then it kinda, in a way, will preserve the tradition. But I’m the optimist because it’s let’s think about it from Western point of view.

You have a doctor, right? Doctor is a very difficult and very messy job. Yeah. If you would be making a minimum wage for being a doctor, would people become doctors? Maybe some, they’re very driven, but I think at the end of the day, we are financially incentivized. So I think I, and not that I think, I hope that there will be some way that it balances out and yes,

Dennis McKenna: It’s very tricky lately what I’ve been saying is instead of having people go to the medicine, find a way to bring the medicine to the people, to work with these communities to produce the medicine.

In a sustainable way than a way that this, that is sustainable for the plants and the community, that creates economic benefits for the growers as much as the eros, the people involved in this. And then find a legal mechanism to bring that medicine to North America or Europe or wherever they wanna bring it in the global north, and serve it up, and a community health and wellness center, a community center of some kind.

The problem is that this is currently legally risky. It shouldn’t be. It should not, it should also not be that difficult to develop legal mechanisms that would let these folks come with permission. And do this. Bring them, make the medicine, and bring the medicine and the practitioners to North America and let the benefits accrue, let the benefits trickle down, but be not having all these gringos running around, with fat wallets.

And it’s okay if they, and not all green rows are assholes. Mo most people that come to these retreats are pretty respectful. But there is that economic difference and some are not respectful. And so I’m trying to think that with this idea of symbiosis, we should try and articulate that everyone should have access to these medicines, but we should find a way to do it that honors the tradition that benefits the local people and that ensures an a sustainable source because iOS is endangered.

From over harvesting, at least in certain places.

Sam Believ: Absolutely. So when I talk to my shaman, for example, or when the group arrives, he always says the same thing. He says that he is just so happy that people from all over the world come here and they wanna learn from him and get healed by him.

And it’s a, it’s an honor, he says. And then, because in the past he had to travel all over the place and like he couldn’t be with his family. And it’s difficult. And I’ve been to the jungle with them, and they have a plantation of ayahuasca. So they don’t go to the forest to look for it.

They just plant it. So it’s pretty sustainable. So I do believe that a way it can be done well, but of course there’s still a lot that we need to figure out. You, me, you talked to, you mentioned topic of symbiosis again, and your talk was about the symbiosis and going back to nature.

Let’s touch this as a last topic. Maybe you can talk to us a little bit about what you said on the talk, and then why we should go back to the nature.

Dennis McKenna: Yeah, I think I don’t know how long you want this to be. I’m gonna have to go pretty soon but five more minutes, then we’re good.

As I said in the talk, and I think, so what’s happening with this psychedelic renaissance is you’ve got different factions. You, so you’ve got the indigenous people, you’ve got the capitalists, you’ve got the biomedical industrial complex that wants to develop these medicines, and they have good intentions.

They’re also capitalists. They wanna make money that’s just built into the equation. He don’t, it’s not terrible to make money as long as you do it ethically, but it’s, it’s a landmine, right? There are people that want to cash in on it and develop these. Patented products that maybe are probably not natural products, what may be related to natural products that they wanna patent and then they wanna control access and build a whole industry.

That’s the old, that’s the usual model in biomedicine. Now you’re trying to stuff psychedelics into that model and it’s very hard for to make that work, and that’s why I am advocating much more of a grassroots kind of thing. The work will go on, the research will go on, the investors will continue to make their investment and make discoveries and that’s fine.

You can’t stop it. So you may as well not even think about, but the rest of people, I think, should rely on develop liaisons and relationship between community. Resource, basically wisdom centers in the north that could stablish these relationships with similar places in the south and and do it that way.

Do it from a grassroots perspective. So that I, what I would like to see with both psilocybin, them and Ayahuasca and some of these others, is that every community might have a wellness center, or a health alternative health center. A lot of ’em do. They could just put, integrate psychedelics into the menu.

And that’s something you could do. So you could go for a weekend and you could take ayahuasca, bring the kids, hang out, do a little yoga, do some nutritional counseling, integrate it into a general practice of integrated healthy practices. So you you fit it into that and you minimize the harm and then it’s not seen as this kind of alien thing from another culture that you’re inserting.

It’s a more natural thing than it grows into. So that’s what I’d like to see. I think it should be I definitely think it should be available to people and in someplace like, and in some places it is, in a place like Hawaii, there’s a lot of ayahuasca being grown in Hawaii and a lot of people serving ayahuasca and all that.

Sam Believ: So that you or your brother, that brother Ayahuasca from Peru to We did Hawaii.

Dennis McKenna: Yeah, we did. So you see it, it’s there you go. Bio piracy, right? So now, yeah, ayahuasca loves Hawaii. We didn’t intentionally mean to introduce an invasive play. Because Hawaii is very sensitive about that kind of thing.

But if you’re gonna plant, you’re gonna introduce them to VA planet. It may as well be Iowa.

Sam Believ: Yes.

Dennis McKenna: So it’s a tricky thing. Amazing. But we have to recognize this is this is also co-evolution. It really is co-evolution and co-evolution works on timescales that are different than ours.

It’s, we have to look ahead. It’s not about what happens this year, or five years, or 10 years from now. We have to try to envision this situation 50 years from now, a hundred years from now, it could transform the world and it could do it in a good way. Or it could. And, the world’s in trouble.

And, the environmental crisis is quite real. And they have to ask your question, how long is the Earth’s stability going to be maintained? Because, human activity, our thoughtlessness and stupidity is really undermining the symbiotic mechanisms that keep the planet stable. And how, at what point do you reach the tipping point where you say it’s too late, it’s, it cannot be repaired?

I think we’re very close to that. And, the policies of the people that supposedly should be doing the most about it, nothing’s being done. It’s all based on denial. You can’t even talk about climate change, so we’re being, really, we could talk about all the terrible geopolitical things that are happening, all the wars and all this, the rise of fascism and everything, and that’s what we tend to be focused on.

But over all of that, what’s not getting talked about is climate change and the destruction of the symbiotic structures, the feedback loops that keep the composition of the air and the oceans and all this in balance. It’s not even talked about. They’re very resilient. The earth has been through tremendous changes over the course of billions of years, and it will survive.

We not, may not survive, but it will survive. But it will be a changed earth. And that’s the way it works. Yeah.

Sam Believ: Let’s hope before we destroy ourselves we’ll be able to give ayahuasca to world leaders, policy makers, and they understand what the hell they’re doing. And maybe they will. I would act it’s like a, it’s a very optimistic thing, but that’s kinda what I hope for.

Dennis McKenna: That’s what I hope for too. But get them to do it. That’s the problem. I’m working on it. I would to I’d like nothing more than to force feed Ayahuasca to Donald Trump, yeah, absolutely. It’s never gonna happen, and it’s not gonna work. In a way, let’s never say never Donald, if you’re listening your time is come.

I had a at Ayahuasquero that I worked with in Peru who said there are two kinds of people I won’t give Ayahuasca because it won’t help them. One is schizophrenics. And I’m not so sure he is right about that. But the other is sociopaths. He said, I won’t give ayahuasca to sociopaths because it won’t help them.

Because they will next day they’ll say they’re a

Sam Believ: shaman. Yeah. Exactly. Then say, I don’t wanna take more of your time. It was a pleasure. Thank you so much. Great conversation. Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you for your contribution. ’cause once again you did so many small things, arguably small from then.

It’s like you see the result of not Hawaii being full of ayahuasca and people growing their own mushrooms. So you’re a legend and it’s been a pleasure. It’s been a

Dennis McKenna: pleasure for me too. Thank you. Thank you. If you ever find yourself in Canada, you. Let me know and if you

Sam Believ: ever want to visit Columbia again, I would love to show you my, I would love to.

Where are you based? We’re based one hour south of Meine, south of Medi Mein, Columbia. Yeah, it’s very beautiful. I’ll, it’ll probably happen. Absolutely. Let’s do it. Yeah. Guys, you’ve been listening to, I Ask a podcast. As always, we the host, Sam, and I’ll see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening, share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Elizabeth Ramírez, a Colombian mentor, speaker, and former corporate strategist who left behind a high-powered consulting career in Switzerland to follow her heart into the world of ancestral medicine, spiritual coaching, and conscious leadership. Elizabeth now helps guide others in their own healing and awakening journeys through a blend of plant medicine work, meditation, and transformational teaching.

We touch upon topics of:

  • [00:02:00] Leaving the corporate world and returning to Colombia for healing
  • [00:04:00] First Ayahuasca experience and its subtle long-term impact
  • [00:07:00] What “receiving medicine” really means vs. what people expect
  • [00:08:00] Cultural conditioning, gender roles, and the pressure to be a “good girl”
  • [00:13:00] Spiritual transformation after moving back from Switzerland
  • [00:16:00] Rebranding Colombia away from drugs and toward nature and medicine
  • [00:23:00] Meditation as a path to awakening and connection
  • [00:29:00] Dangers of rushing Ayahuasca breakthroughs and the value of patience
  • [00:31:00] Ego, integration, and learning the real lessons from the ceremony
  • [00:38:00] Her mission to unite leaders through heart-centered, spiritual entrepreneurship
  • [00:43:00] The role of mushrooms and their connection to creativity and integration
  • [00:49:00] Life as ceremony and creating sacredness in the everyday
  • [00:54:00] Manifestation, physics, and aligning with desired realities

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Elizabeth Ramírez at @elramirezdu on Instagram.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Elizabeth Ramírez: I connect with the spirit of the medicine. I do feel her as a grandmother coming. I know exactly when she’s around. I know what are the messages that almost come from my mind and what are the messages that truly come through her? The medicine shows you how it feels to be in your truth, how it feels to be in the center and once.

We connect with that. The first time that happened that I couldn’t see myself in full transparency from then on, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. So every time that I would be out of alignment or every time that I would be lying to myself fully insured and not being truly authentic, I just couldn’t continue doing that thing.

I just couldn’t continue just lighting myself. This process that is so constant. I think that the teachings has mostly been how to be a good student, how to teach better, how to learn better, how to be teachable, and really like surrender to that process of not falling for an identity that becomes a most, like something more trapped in.

For me, it was a gel. It was just, this is who am I? And if somebody puts me in a pedestal or if somebody has expectations of me, I felt like it was my responsibility not to fail them. So I was being someone totally opposite to what my troop was.

Sam Believ: Hi guys and welcome to Iowa Podcast. As always. We the host, Sam, today having a conversation with Elizabeth Ramirez. As you can see it’s very different because we’re not coming from the usual studio, but we’re actually coming to you from Meine. You can see beautiful Meine in the background if you’re watching on YouTube.

So Elizabeth Ramirez is from Columbus. She’s from here. She’s from Meine. She has a diverse background and mentorship for leaders as strategic consulting for large international organizations. She changed her life. She went from doing this to working with ancestral medicines and coaching and becoming more spiritual.

So that’s in a nutshell. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat at Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Elizabeth, welcome to the show.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Oh, I thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited to have this conversation and I really appreciate what you’re doing and the information you’re sharing.

Sam Believ: And thank you so much for inviting me to your home.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Of course. You’re very welcome. You’re in your home.

Sam Believ: It’s pretty, that’s pretty interesting and very new format. So tell us your story. How did you go from working in corporate world to plant medicines and everything in between?

Elizabeth Ramírez: That’s, I think that’s a long story, but now that I look back, I was born here in Mein from the city and I feel that since I was a kid and I was going to school, I was always doing some research about indigenous communities and I didn’t know why.

’cause my family is not. Like directly connected with that as I started here in Colombia. But I was always curious about that. And growing up I thought that it was, that it had something to do with culture, with me looking into my lineage. But I grew up and I went to study business, and then I started working in the consulting world.

So I was working for McKinsey and different consulting firms around the world, but there was always this one thing that I felt like was missing. There was so always like a higher sense of purpose. I always, since I was active kid, I felt like I came into this world to do something meaningful. And there was this moment in which I was living in Switzerland.

I had a relationship. So many things were going the right way. And I just felt that it wasn’t me, that it was not what I wanted. And life showed me through very challenging situations. In the relationship in the way in which I was creating abundance, that was not my path. So I came from s Switzerland back to me, and I started that inner journey of questioning everything, especially myself.

And that’s how I came to medicines and how I started to connect with the spirit. One, especially through meditation and different modalities that are very rooted in this land that I appreciate a lot. So that’s like that transition. ’cause then I came back into business, but with this new perspective of hard, hard led impact and what we’re creating.

Sam Believ: What did you start with? Did you start with plant medicines or did you start with meditation? That you went to plant medicines?

Elizabeth Ramírez: My first plant medicine experience was 11 years ago now. It was with Jahi. But I remember that back in that time when I went to that ceremony, I didn’t know anything about a diet, I didn’t know anything about preparation intention.

I was just, somebody told me, I don’t even know how I find out about this experience. And I just went there, not prepared. I went by myself. I went driving and people was looking at me like, is this your first time and are you here by yourself? And I was like yep. And everybody was like if you need any help, let us know.

So I did have an experience 11 years ago, but I don’t feel I truly understood what it meant. And then afterwards, through meditation, I started to connect and to open that channel to talk with spirit. Now I’m integrating messages that I received back in those ceremonies when I when I started.

But it was not common at all in, in 10, 11 years.

Sam Believ: Yeah, for you guys to explain that. Ja is a, na is a name they use primarily in Colombian, Ecuador for Ayahuasca. But it’s pretty much the same thing. Yeah, I had a similar experience. ’cause my first Ayahuasca experience, it was profound and beautiful, but I didn’t really know what the impact.

I thought it’s whatever. I had it, I tried it and it’s all good now, but now I can trace a lot of things back to that day because from that, like many things started to change. Can you do that or do you think it’s just like a separate occasion that eventually the, is there a connection between your eventual spiritual awakening and the AYA experience, or you think there’s no connection?

Elizabeth Ramírez: Totally. In that ceremony, I was so into the business world that I was like, okay, do I follow my heart and my spiritual path, or do I stay in this business world that I think it’s for me? And then the medicine was like, you don’t need to be there, or here you’re meant to become bridge. And that’s what I’m doing now.

But back in that time, this is so interesting because I was having a conversation with some friends this week and we were talking about the connection with the spirit of ayahuasca. And I remember that back in that ceremony was all about my mind. It was, I was just seeing almost like this mirror of my own thoughts.

And now that I have developed this relationship with her, I connect with the spirit of the medicine. I do feel her as a grandmother coming, I know exactly when she’s around. I know what are the messages that almost come from my mind that what are the messages that truly come through her? So that it was definitely.

I feel that since that time she’s always living with me. I consider her a great mentor, a great teacher, a space holder, and I call upon her, even if I’m not sitting in ceremonies, she always gives me a different perspective.

Sam Believ: It’s like a virus, but a positive one. Very positive. Once you have it, it’s in you.

Yes. Yeah. It’s very interesting. And I think for people who are listening, a lot of people that come to my retreat, for example, or retreats you work at, and they want the, this result that you had 11 years later. They want immediately, they want okay, I drank ayahuasca. Like my life has to change tomorrow.

As I like to describe it, what ayahuasca does for you sometimes, because sometimes you get everything you want straight away, but and most of the times it changes your direction. You’re going this way and it changes it, but just one degree, it doesn’t seem to be a lot. But you end up in a totally different, better place years later.

And as I was getting ready for this podcast I listened to a few episodes of your own podcast and your story, and some of it resonated with me. Like one of the parts you describe is being trying to be the good girl and trying to like, just follow what society tells you. Talk to us about that and what is your perspective on, on that sort of way of living now since after your awakening and after all the self-work that you’ve done.

Elizabeth Ramírez: I’m gonna talk to you about being that girl as a Colombian, and I really appreciate that when people come to this land, I do believe that this is a land of transformation and a land of healing because of everything that we have been through as a community and growing up here. I was, as a kid, I learned how to thrive in survival, mood, where to go, where not to go, how to behave.

And we would always have, in the back of our minds that threat of maybe something happens in the corner, maybe somebody gets killed. And I felt that in order for me to survive in that world, I needed to first behave well. And second, I would see a lot of the narco culture. How the relationship between men and women was very transactional.

It was always like the person, the man that could show that they could afford the most, they will have the most beautiful women. And then women started to hate as products because they wanted to be viable because being viable mean you’re safe. So I always saw that relationship and I felt like it needed to be good enough to survive by myself, that I didn’t become something to betrayed, that I was capable of accomplishing my own things and proving myself that I didn’t need to repeat that story.

So growing up, I went to a school with nuns. Before I was born, my parents were having some trouble getting pregnant. And my mom was praying to God if you give us a child, she’s going to be in your service. So when I was born, my parents had this apartment in front of a, how do you call it? The house of the nuns.

A Mona story? Yes. A monastery. Because maybe I will grow up and I wouldn’t become a nun. And funny enough, no. That long ago, probably three years ago, my mom came to a mushroom ceremony and she had this meeting with God where she realized that she was like in the, because I didn’t become a nun.

And then God was talking to her like, but she’s in my service. And she’s doing our work that comes from the heart, but for very long then starting in the business world and always a very clear image of what society wanted from me. What. Family could want for me how it felt to be admire a role model behaving in a certain way.

I feel like that was safety. It was only like for admiration or to belong it back in the time it meant safety.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I think it’s we come from different culture and you’re a woman, I’m a man, but it’s as a man from LA it’s it’s a similar way, it’s like you have to have things, you order to have women.

It’s like in my culture, if you don’t have a car, like no girl is gonna look at you. So it’s yeah, you kinda, you do what the society tells you, you study well because then you can get to a good university and you have to get a good profession and same as you. I’ve done it all. I went through the whole stuff and I ended up on the top of what.

A person from my background can achieve I was making a lot of money and I had this profession that all my friends were envy yourself. And I did have a car and a department and a girlfriend and all those things, but I was like, I was, society sorta indirectly promises you that once you have all those things and once you buy all those things, the happiness will come.

And the happiness never came in my case. So for me I was like, what do I really wanna do? What do I want to do? Not with my sister or my brother or my mother things. It is good to me. And I was like, you know what? I wanna travel when have an adventure. And that’s what brought me to Columbia. And that it never really brought me to the medicine and now to this other line of work synchronistically.

Because yeah, I never really planned on any of it. And and your escape from this pattern was. Abandoning this amazing job that you landed and,

Elizabeth Ramírez: The job and then the difference in the culture and living in Switzerland and having this picture of everything. It’s so interesting ’cause when you’re asking me about the teachings of ayahuasca 11 years ago, I feel that the medicine shows you how it feels to be in your truth, how it feels to be in the center.

And once we connect with that, the first time that happened that I couldn’t see myself in full transparency from then on, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. So every time that I would be out of alignment or every time that I would be lying to myself fully insured and not being truly authentic, I just couldn’t continue doing the thing.

I just couldn’t continue, like sliding myself. And that’s what, that’s this process that is so constant. I feel that. The teachings has mostly been how to be a good student, how to teach better, how to learn better, how to be teachable, and really like surrender to that process of not falling for an identity that becomes most like something we are trapped in.

For me, it was a gel. It was just, this is who am I? Who I am, and if somebody puts me in a pedestal or if somebody has expectations of me, I felt like it was my responsibility not to fail them. So I was being someone totally opposite to what my trip was.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Yeah. I can definitely resonate with that very much very similar in a very similar way, just like a slightly different direction. But you mentioned you are living abroad and I we’re close to hundred episodes now, but I believe you’re only a third Columbia that I’m interviewing. My t and then I interviewed I’m forgetting his name, but a few days ago I interviewed another guy from I Sears.

And now you, so when I was living in Latvia, actually a lot of people don’t know that, but I already had this sort of pulled towards Latin culture and I started dancing salsa. So I went and I was taking salsa classes and for me it was like, LA is very cold and very sad and you kinda, it’s winter and you come to a salsa party and it feels like it’s summer again.

’cause it’s so hot. Everyone’s sweaty and the music and everything. Because before I even knew Spanish, so I didn’t understand the lyrics of most of the songs and I understand them and they’re pretty deplorable. So if you don’t wanna be disappointed, don’t learn Spanish. But I remember one time I met a Colombian person.

And it was maybe 10 years ago, I didn’t even know where Columbia was on the map. It was just like, it’s somewhere there, far away. It’s not a really well known country, at least in my culture. And he was like, oh, I’m Colombian. And I was immediately like, oh, PA Escobar cocaine. That’s just it’s the only thing I knew.

It’s like I didn’t really, there, there is no alternative information available for most people. It’s just like Pablo Escobar and cocaine and, bad women, yeah. So I remember I told them everything I knew about calling. I got really offended and I was like I’m sorry you’re offended, but it’s also not my fault that’s the reputation.

So it’s it was a weird interaction. How was it for you, traveling abroad, how does it feel being a Colombian and being exposed to the stereotypes like. Is it really the case or is it just something that I believe happens to Colombians?

Elizabeth Ramírez: It has changed lately, but I remember when I started traveling, I went to Europe when I was 15, and there was a line for Europeans, there was a line for foreigners and there was a special line only for Colombians.

Literally something like immigration only for Colombians. And the same that you’re expressing, I will see people in the street and it’s like Colombia powders, coad, and then cocaine and talking and making jokes about the white powder. And to be honest with you, I never experienced any relationship or any closeness to cocaine or Santa Maria marijuana, cannabis.

Yeah. Or any other substance living here. When I went to Europe, that was the first time that I was exposed to see that. And even in the states that I would see people doing cocaine. And what people wouldn’t understand is that it was being exported from here, but. Even because I was born in a poor area here in the city.

We were not, we were just afraid of that. Every single person in the city knows people who was killed in that time. We have been through wars in the streets like this used to be the most dangerous city in the planet. So much more dangerous than anything that is happening now in so many other countries that I really pray for everything to come back in order and in peace.

But it’s been trend. For me, I’m so proud to see the ways in which the city has transformed and how we. Receive people. What people love about me is how friendly people is, how open their heart are, the culture. And I think that is that resilience of going through the worst and just being grateful that we were waking up the next morning, that we are alive, that we have food.

You’re going to find that people here is so grateful and so joyful. So now I honestly wouldn’t change being Colombian for anything. I think that being Colombian is the coolest thing. I love my culture, I love everything that comes with that, but it was very challenging and I still, there’s a lot of st like stereotypes sometimes when I travel and sometimes sadly, with people that is coming here looking for those stereotypes and like minimizing the value.

Most of people come here for one thing and they get surprised. Yeah. Of everything that this land has to provide,

Sam Believ: I have I’m working on slowly rebranding Columbia from cocaine to ayahuasca. It’s a very small effort, but we’re working on documentary now, hopefully it’s gonna go big and then people will know it for, so un official slogan would be Comfort cocaine.

Stay Aya. Oh, I’m just kidding. Yeah, I will, I hope. But but in a way I’ve met people. For example, a lot of veterans you from us, they come here to escape from their pain. Yes. So they go, they come here for hookers in cocaine. There, there is no other words around it. I know it doesn’t sound nice, but what they really need is healing.

And what they can get it through is ayahuasca and then the other, the following work that can come through that. So it’s just about a matter of informing them. Better messaging and better branding because you cannot just take away the brand and just remove it. You can’t just be like, oh, Colombia’s oh, I don’t know Colombia.

No. Colombia for the things you know it for, you can’t just forget them. You have to replace it with something else. In my opinion, it has to be nature and plant medicines which come from nature. Yeah. Because Columbia is biodiverse. It’s a beautiful place. Even you guys can see in the background, the mountains and stuff.

It’s a very beautiful city. And met Gene went from being the murder capital of the world, number one, to not even being on the top hanging of the list.

Elizabeth Ramírez: And

Sam Believ: people ask me like, oh, can I come to Columbia? It’s so dangerous. I remember myself when I was coming to Columbia, I was afraid. I was like, I really wanted to come.

’cause many people told me it’s great. And I was like, I’m probably gonna be killed. Or Rob, I’ve been here for eight years now. Knock on the wood. Do you have any wood?

Elizabeth Ramírez: The probably very in the back.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Never ha. Nothing ever happened to me. And so yeah, it is changing. It just needs a different brand.

And I don’t know if if I can ever get attention of some big people in the politics. That’s,

Elizabeth Ramírez: that’s a

Sam Believ: strong brand,

Elizabeth Ramírez: and I feel that it is part of the story. I feel that this is the representation of a ceremony. When people get here and they get stretched, this is a portal for healing. This requires you to be resilient, and it is what the city as a whole has been through.

It is not to dismiss that was our past, because from that darkness, overcoming that and going to the deepest of darkness, and then come to the other side with joy, with like connection with nature, I feel like Columbia teaches you a different way of healing, not only through pain and suffering, but through gratitude, through beauty, through dance, laughter.

And always seeing the best in everything. People here is medicine and the music is medicine.

Sam Believ: That is the land of magical realism. And that’s why Colombians are always 50 minutes late because they’re just in a different dimension. At the retreat we always say tell people,

Elizabeth Ramírez: Colombians,

Sam Believ: There’s Colombian time and there’s the standard time.

And there’s ayahuasca no time. Yeah, there’s definitely, from a mental health perspective, there’s definitely something foreigners can learn from Colombians in a way that

so sometimes we’re like I’m like this, I like to be on time. For example, for this interview, we agreed one, and I came at 1240, even though I’m hungry and I wanted to have lunch, but I was like, I’ll be late. I just can’t do it. It’s just not, I appreciate it. Yeah. However, like Colombian will be like, I’m just gonna go have lunch.

They like they’re like, they’re in the moment. They’re just gonna enjoy the moment and the consequences is later. So it’s it’s an extreme to be honest, and it’s a little as painful to be on the receiving side of this, but I think somewhere there in the middle there is a balance where you can just release the tension a little bit.

And speaking of tension, let’s talk a little bit about meditation and your journey. ’cause you, the plant medicine, ayahuasca planted seeds and then then you went through your journey and then eventually your awakening came in the meditation session. It was really interesting for me to learn about it.

Can you talk to the audience about that?

Elizabeth Ramírez: I, it was more than a meditation session. It was a period in my life in which I had no other place to go. That’s when I tell you that everything around my identity shift that then I was back in Colombia with no relationship, no job. I wasn’t studying anything. Just this need of sitting with myself and going towards, and then I just, I started to enter in this states that where time will become different and I started to get so much more clarity.

I feel that in that search for who I was, I needed to start for start dis solving who I was not. And meditation helped me a lot to the point in which I started to experience. A connection and a sensibility with my eyes open and without any medicine that was even difficult to handle. ’cause I will look at people around me and I will see their energy around them, and I will feel the energy in food and I will go outside and literally stop and cry because I will see the most beautiful tree blooming and just so present in, in their rawness of reality.

That was also very challenging because I felt very misunderstood. I felt very lonely. I felt that I had no one to talk about these things and it didn’t feel like as something that I could understand with the mind. But this inner knowing and this certainty that I belong to something greater, that I belong to something bigger.

So it really opened my eyes to the one question which I feel is the guiding in life in my work, and it’s. Our potential as human beings. I discovered this technology and all the things that people used to tell me when I was a kid. Oh, it is so weird that people travel in their dreams. Or I would think about ghosts or energies, and it was also mystical.

But when I started to discover all the things that happened in my life and all the things that I had access to through those tools, it stopped being something so mystical and became just these doors to the unknown within myself. And I started to connect that a lot also with technology, starting to understand that science and the mystical world wasn’t a part, but our own bodies are the most spectacular technology there is.

How do hormones work? How does neuroscience work? And just that, that took me in a whole deep study of myself. Who am I? And from that place, I started to feel also much more at home with myself because I wouldn’t almost see. Myself as this house full of little rooms with different kids. And the more that I explore them, the more comfortable and the more spaciousness I feel within myself.

So it was a very interesting time. Also challenging. Very challenging.

Sam Believ: It sounds terrifying to be so open and not be able to close yourself. I think that’s that’s what I think it’s isn’t called like Kundalini or awakening. Yeah. Yeah. It’s people crave it, but it’s also very terrifying once you get there because then it’s like, how do you awaken yourself?

Like in my case I don’t think I’ve ever had it. Like when I’m drinking, I was, I’m like, I can see and understand all of this and feel it, but when I’m back I’m like normal, but I did for example, manage to unlock my emotions. I used to not feel much. Now I feel a lot and there’s no going back.

Like I feel so much. And I feel good things and I also feel good bad things.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Have you ever had an ego death or something that you have experienced

Sam Believ: before? Many times, yes. Oh no. Ask. Yes. And I wasn’t that, not just by myself. My ego is pretty like strong, but when ask it goes away occasionally.

Elizabeth Ramírez: I love touching on that topic because you just said like people think that they want the Kundalini awakening and everything, but there’s responsibility that comes with that.

And same when people come to the journeys and they want I want the ego death. I’m like, you don’t want that. Like I’m, that’s, that really is stretches people to information that it’s sometimes hard to integrate. Our ego is here. We want to integrate our ego before killing it. I’m feeling like it’s this part of you that you need to destroy.

It is much more about how do we reconciliate the parts of ourselves that we haven’t seen yet? ’cause I have also experienced ego death to the point in which every single concept in the universe just disappeared. Very recently, I had an experience in which the concept of ellizabeth disappeared in its totality that I was praying just let me be her, and whose hair I couldn’t relate and grasping to anything.

And then I started praying and I was like praying to what? I started to think about Jesus. And I was like, okay, I am gonna pray to Jesus that I come back and I am Elisa again. And then Jesus just became an idea and dissolve. I almost became, and this was during a ceremony, but I became this black hole.

Purging emptiness and the infinite. And it was raw and challenging. Of course, it taught me a lot. But I feel that these experiences that people is chasing, it’s not about what you go through in a ceremony, but how committed you are to take those lessons and apply them in life. And how do we compare in the process of surrendering?

It is a deep challenge. Yeah. And a deep test in surrender.

Sam Believ: Be careful what you wish for because for example, a lot of people come and they want, give five cup. I just want to break through. And the problem is if you go there too quickly, you can, you go so deep that you will never touch the medicine again.

You’ll be like completely turn away. So like we work, we like when people come to LoRa, we. Talk a lot about patience, like patience. Like we’re gonna start, we’re gonna grow, we’re gonna we’re gonna get you there, but not immediately. You need to learn. You need to be ready for what’s to come.

You need to like before you start like running, you need to at least learn how to crawl and then how to walk. But it is, I think, a part of our society that the instant gratification, it’s like they watched a video on YouTube about some guy that came to the retreat and they’ve seen his highlight reel and many others.

People highlights reel. And it’s I’m telling them, it’s like not only are you not gonna experience somebody else’s highlights, you will not even be able to experience yours from a ceremony a year ago. It’s every time it’s gonna be different, every time it’s gonna be unique and there’s nothing wrong with ego.

Ego is a good thing. Ego, the reason I’m here now is my ego. And you’re here because of your ego. And ego is fine. It’s like we just need to. Rebuild it a little bit, but not to just destroy it.

Elizabeth Ramírez: It becomes like a teammate when you learn that it is there to protect you from a place of fear. And it is there. I always said like he’s just not letting Diego go in the driver’s seat.

But you can take Diego, go as your copilot. Diego is not going to determine or choose where are we going, but you need to be aware that your fears are there coming, especially when you’re living your comfort zone and when you’re really facing your fears. And the amazing in Spanish, patience is cia, which means the science of peace.

And I always say coming to ceremonies is like coming to school. You’re here to learn a lesson. Your intention is the way in which you apply for that course or that lesson. You get the tools. But then once you leave the ceremony, it is your opportunity to take the test, to do your homework. Do not come back to a ceremony if you haven’t done your homework, because then the teacher is going to be like, first, learn what I taught you, and then you can come under more.

But people wanna go to the next level and the next level and the next level. And it is not about that. It is about taking what’s truly going to change your life, which are the tools you can see more and more. I appreciate there’s so many people that share beautiful visions, but what I truly appreciate is not the person that went to different planets in a ceremony, but the person that lives at ceremony.

Changes the way that they speak with their parents, changes the way in which they relate with nature changes something in their daily routine. It starts drinking more water and become more healthy. That’s something that I admire and I respect the willingness to apply the lessons.

Sam Believ: Yeah, that’s very important because you can drink ayahuasca hungry times and not take anything back.

So you went from having sort of everything that most Colombian women would dream of, right? And then you were not fulfilled, so you left it all and you started from scratch. Two questions. Are you fulfilled now and would you recommend people that feel the same way to, to try and start over?

Elizabeth Ramírez: That’s such a really useful question. I feel the way in which I touch base with myself knowing that I’m fulfilled is that some, there’s no other women. I would rather be in the world than the one that I am. And there’s no other life that I would rather believe that the one that I’m living. And that’s a question that I asked myself so often, and it was a shift between feeling like I was born Lizabeth, and I was born being this woman to every single day choosing to be this woman that I am and choosing to be with myself, with the things that I love about myself, with the things that I don’t like about myself, with my flaws, with my greatness and all of it.

That’s what makes me fulfill feeling that I do have this relationship with myself. And from there I relate with everyone and everything around me. Of course, I’m so human and there are moments in which I feel frustrated. I feel that zone. There’s this, once we connect with our potential, it is this knowing of what we can be, that at some point it becomes like detrimental to what we’re doing.

Because I found myself that when I connected to that vision of this amazing woman that changes the world and has all these superpowers that I won’t be like, but why I am not doing this thing? And why am I being slow in this thing? And almost like feeling guilty because I wasn’t showing up in that way.

And then for me, I do feel so fulfilled now and I appreciate, and I love what I do with all my heart. I feel like I do and I’m connected with the creative service of all. But I have changed the idea of potential to the idea of capacity. It is not who can I be, but it is not like what’s, who can I get to be, but what can I do today?

What is the greatest I can do in my levels of energy and what I’m doing right now? How can I best show up from this space? So it’s more than an state, is this, I would say that is our relationship. And the second question was for people that is feeling this way what would I recommend them or, yeah, that are not feeling fulfilled?

I feel that the first and on honestly only thing is shifting the relationship with ourselves and rewiring the way in which we see the world. I love. The Course In Miracles is a book that has taught me a lot. And Which movie? The, it’s a book. It’s called A Course In Miracles.

Sam Believ: A

Elizabeth Ramírez: Course in Miracles.

Sam Believ: In Miracles.

Elizabeth Ramírez: See? In that book, they have different lessons. And one of the lessons is you look around you and you realize that nothing that you’re seeing is real. Nothing has meaning everything. Every single meaning that you have given things is based on a past experience, something that you learn at some point.

So what we’re experiencing right now as reality is only the construct of that inner dialogue that we have had. And that is not something that changes with a ceremony. That is not something that changes with appeal. It is something that we start rewiring with the conversation that we’re entertaining in our mind.

So my recommendation for someone who’s feeling like that is how can you start developing a relationship to the human you are? And that is the only human who’s never gonna leave you. That’s your teammate based companion. And when that is worked. Not because you become a perfect beam, but because you accept yourself in all your shapes and forms and shadows.

From there, we can find real fulfillment.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a great advice. But definitely, you can start with small steps. You don’t need to quit your job tomorrow. Or at least if you do quit your job, make sure you have some savings and before you dump your girlfriend at least try and talk about things.

You said you wanna bridge business and spirituality. How are you gonna do that?

Elizabeth Ramírez: Ah, this is something that excites me so much. I do connect a lot. I with a very specific type of human that has the call to create something greater than themselves. In the path of personal growth and personal development, we can only go as far as to, I develop myself up to this point, but then when you start to connect with service and impact, we are required to transcend everything that we build about ourselves that we created and we allowed ourselves to believe we are.

You transcend all that in service for humanity. And I have connected with these medicines that have spirit and I have connected with the spirit of all the elements on the earth around us. I recently had a ceremony, which I was here, imagine and sometimes imagine we have some problems with the air. And I literally felt a connection with the element of air.

And he would speak to me like, you know what? You are trying to develop all these things, but nobody has come and ask me how I clean myself. And bring the right people together that has the means, the technology, the leadership to connect with the element and to work with the medicine to develop technology which connects artificial intelligence, our own human intelligence, and our own human technology.

With ancestral technology, because there’s no greatest technology that Mother Nature, everything works in perfect balance. They have the greatest systems. So for me, my purpose is to bring leaders together around a collective intention instead of sitting with multiple intentions and individual drivers setting one main intention in service of humanity, how can we transform transportation?

Bringing leaders together from different areas to sit around the medicine and find solutions for humanity as a whole, not for one human. How can we shift the way in which we educate? How can education change and bring these leaders so that they can rule and create that? What impacts humanity and so many people from a place that is heart centered?

That is my vision, and that’s something that I believe so much in. I don’t believe that everybody, I believe the medicine can be for everybody, but I don’t believe everybody needs to drink it and everybody, and I don’t believe that everybody has a commitment and the willingness for the long, like lifelong relationship, the medicine is, I do believe the right people who’s willing to create mechanisms for the rest to be great.

They do take the medicine. We as a whole. Can create a better life experience.

Sam Believ: So basically giving medicine to leader leaders so that they can change things and then it affects the rest.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Yeah.

Sam Believ: Is that a similar concept to conscious entrepreneurship or is it somewhat different?

Elizabeth Ramírez: What do you mean conscious entrepreneurship as a brand or

Sam Believ: No the panel that we spoke together.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think it’s a similar concept, right?

Elizabeth Ramírez: It has some lines, but I feel that conscious, there’s

Sam Believ: there’s conscious leadership, I guess

Elizabeth Ramírez: unconscious leadership doesn’t require for people to see it. With planned medicine, I feel that conscious leadership means understanding your personal gifts, the impact you can create in the world, how you have been trusted with those gifts, and recognizing also the responsibility that comes with that.

If we keep creating products and services that are for one human that are making better someone’s life, but it’s destroying our planet or not doing anything. So how do we create things that really serve the planet, serve the whole, and if it serves the planet and serves humanity, of course it’s going to serve us.

That’s conscious entrepreneurship, like going beyond of an exchange and really talking about a legacy. What is the legacy that we’re creating and how are we living this earth better than we found it?

Sam Believ: Cool. I know you like ayahuasca, but you also work with mushrooms. Why mushrooms?

Elizabeth Ramírez: Mushrooms.

Mushrooms to me. They are the nervous system of the world. Everything that we see and all this nature is connected underneath by the mycelium. Mycelium and mushrooms are a web. They allow you to connect things in which you have never connected before. They also work in a specific area in your brain that’s called the fault mood network, and they create neuroplasticity in that, in specific area, which is the place where we save the idea that we have about ourselves.

So mushrooms, they, the medicines in general, have different personalities. Just a grandmother. Mushrooms are s which means the holy kids or grandchildren, or the kids from the stars. The grandchildren. And they connect us much more with creativity. With solutions. I visit Ayahuasca because she’s a root, she goes to the root of things and she cleans you from that space.

Mushrooms are much more about interconnect, interconnectedness. And I think that it’s also a very sustainable medicine because ayahuasca takes longer to grow and we wanna make sure we are also gathering these medicines in a responsible and sustainable way. And mushrooms are, they grow so much more faster and they are also amazing in for integration and microdosing.

So it’s being a very supportive medicine and I feel like a good entry point. My parents have done mushrooms and it’s been so beautiful for them that they were feeling this resistance to go straight to ayahuasca. My path was different. I started with ayahuasca and then I found mushrooms.

Sam Believ: Yeah, me too.

For me it was ayahuasca first and the mushrooms, which is unusual ’cause most people. Mushrooms is a gateway psychedelic to than stronger stuff. No. Mushrooms are children. They say Nino, Santos, because they do have this childish spirit and it’s very playful. Do you reckon they, they can also help you connect with your inner child?

Elizabeth Ramírez: Yeah, definitely. All the medicine can help you connect with your inner child. And that being said, I wouldn’t say that it’s a softer medicine. It is just different in the body may, there’s an aspect of purge that happens different with mushrooms, and it’s not so physical as it can be with aos. And the energy of the spirit of the plant is different and different because mushrooms are a whole different kingdom, the fungi kingdom.

That being said, it doesn’t mean. That they’re not super powerful and it is so important to meet them with that same reverence in a ceremonial way, to know that they’re also teachers to know that they can take you so deep. So we learn from them. We learn. We learn from what they do in the environment and something that many people don’t know.

And exactly the same thing that you were talking about, the person that went and saw the reels and the stories of somebody else, and then they create these expectations of what they’re going to be going through during a retreat. Mushrooms themselves, they are not psychedelic. Cytosine itself is not psychedelic.

When you eat mushrooms, it connects with your own neurochemicals and it creates a different substance, which is called oc, and that is psycholytic. So you are the medicine, literally, you are part of the mix that allows you to go in a journey. That’s why every single person has a different, at a different dose and with a different strain of mushrooms, it’s going to have a different experience.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I like I like mushrooms as well. I’ve I think it’s it’s a very useful tool as well.

Elizabeth Ramírez: What is the mean difference to you between mushrooms and ayahuasca?

Sam Believ: I think ayahuasca is more profound and more physically healing experience and also the purge aspect of it. And at least here in Columbia, mushrooms are illegal.

Ayahuasca is legal. If you have a shaman. When the things change. It is like also here, there is no tradition for mushrooms. They grow here everywhere, but they lost the tradition. So for me, that aspect of ayahuasca, that is oh, here’s the guy and his dad was ayahuasquero and like this for many generation, like a Tata, it gives you this comfort, especially in the beginning when I was starting with this work, it’s like at least you can, yeah, maybe you don’t really know exactly what you’re doing, but you’re grounding yourself on a tradition.

And the that’s missing for me with mushrooms. But I’m still a big fan. I have micro doses in my freezer as we speak.

Elizabeth Ramírez: That is available. And there are many traditions in the north, in Mexico, yeah. Yeah. In the north in,

Sam Believ: so we should bring it here. And I know there is a tribe near us in Este, that’s called Ember E.

See? And they’re trying to restore the tradition so they. They’re picking the mushrooms on the fields and they boil them and they, but it’s it’s different. It’s imagine you have like French cuisine and imagine it’s like everything was forgotten and you’re still in France and you’re trying to create French cuisine again.

It’s a difficult process. So maybe they should bring some people from Mexico and then like exchange information. But I know eventually mushrooms, because obviously mushrooms are as you said, with ayahuasca, you have to, you need a big piece of land in the jungle where you have to plant ayahuasca, grow it, wait for seven years.

So it is sustainable because it’s farmed. So the, my shamas, they don’t just go and just cut ayahuasca in the jungle ’cause they’re not, there’s not much left. You need to go really deep. So they farm it. It’s it’s cultivated with mushrooms. You can grow some in your cupboard. So I think that it’s definitely.

It has that potential. But I’m a big fan of all psychedelics. I think together in some weird shape or form, they will change the world. But for Columbia specifically, I think ayahuasca should be the focus because that’s what Columbia has that other places don’t. You can grow mushrooms in Antarctica but yeah.

Elizabeth Ramírez: And medicines, they’re a team and they teach you in different ways. And they come to our lives in the moment and we’re ready to learn from their wisdom and to really appreciate. I, it’s also we have Mabe. The Mabe is something that I really appreciate, which is powder. It comes from Coca and we have been very known about coca and cocaine, but there’s a big tradition.

Coca and tobacco and how when we connect with it, we connect the center in our minds and the center in our hearts. So that everything that we think and everything that we feel is what we speak. And we come from that place of alignment. And these are amazing that we get to connect in, in our routines to make life the ceremony, to learn how to live from this place of sacredness and ritual.

And it doesn’t have to be mystical. It is just the appreciation and the presence to acknowledge the magic in what we’re facing.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Life is a ceremony. You talk about in, in your process of growing and awakening, you were very afraid of people thinking you’re crazy has changed.

Elizabeth Ramírez: I think now I take it as a compliment.

Now I wanna, the more I have studied spirituality and energy first, the more that I realized that I don’t know anything. That’s part of the fulfillment question too. It is not, I thought the people will figure it out through an spiritual path and I realize that nobody has a figure out. The more, the deeper that I go, the more questions that I have.

But there is an acceptance of not knowing that feels like, that, feels like there’s curiosity, questioning things and there’s magic in that. So I have find my peace with no knowing and with just the great mystery. Yeah. And. About being crazy. I think that it is just being different and being authentic. I’m much more worried now to feel like I’m trying to fit in a place and I need to be something that I’m not just to fit in.

I feel that now that I have my tribe, now that I have people around me that I appreciate and my communities, it is not that I’m fitting in it is that I’m, I belong because I am who I am and I enjoy that.

Sam Believ: You describe like going to this meditation place and everyone looks like hippie and they have crystals and like white linen clothing and now look at you.

Elizabeth Ramírez: I see.

Sam Believ: What happens?

Elizabeth Ramírez: I have the, I have both mixes. First I was in the consulting world, always in my high heels and always own fashion and like trying to prove myself, trying to prove that I belong to that table. Then I wait, I went all the other way to, I just wanna live in the jungle in the trees and I don’t wanna wear shoes anymore.

And probably now for one and a half years I am in such a good place which I feel is the center and is not identifying with it, with anything. I can wear this and later at night I can wear a dress and high heels and red lipstick and go out and dance salsa and in the morning I can play some mantras.

It is not from a place anymore of this is good and this is bad. It is my choice and what is in alignment and what is not in alignment with me, even with alcohol and all those things. I was like, this is horrible. I do not drink. Every once in a while, I will have a delicious glass of wine that I enjoy a lot, but it is not from that space of judgment.

It is from a space of giving myself the freedom and of free will and give it to other people. The same happened to me with food. I used to eat very bad. Then I became a vegetarian for five years. Now I’m back to eating it for the last two years. And it is every single day a constant practice of what does my body need today?

It’s speaking to it’s been me giving me so much freedom. And I do not believe that it would make me spiritual because I’m wearing what I’m wearing right now, or that it would make me less spiritual if I wear something different. I mean everything. The skin itself is just a custom of the soul.

Sam Believ: So don’t break from a copper mug. You’re not spiritual.

Elizabeth Ramírez: For my what?

Sam Believ: Copper mug.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Yeah. That’s true.

Sam Believ: Yeah. I just lost all respect to you because you don’t have any Christmas. Okay. Last topic I know you like to talk about is manifestation. Teach people how to manifest good life.

Elizabeth Ramírez: This is going to sound this is probably one of the things that will make someone think I’m crazy, but there’s an study that comes from mathematics and physics, and it’s called reality Trans Surfing. And what reality trans surfing teaches us is that every single possible outcome already exists.

Imagine the, it’s, it explains something that is called the landlord, the field of possibilities. And in that field. All the versions of you, the version of you that took five minutes longer to come here, and that will make a totally different result. Every single reality exists and we experience time as we move in those realities.

What makes you move in a reality is what you normalize. Whenever we pray for something from the lack of it, and I really want this, just the act of wanting is creating that separation. Whenever we relate to something from a space of gratitude, it means that it already belongs into our lives. So knowing that it is not something for me, knowing that it is not something that I’m creating but is a reality I’m moving into.

It’s so powerful. Because I don’t feel like I’m stuck in anything and I can connect with a version of myself that is already experiencing that. Every single morning I open my eyes and my prayer and my mantra is, dear God, universe, source, whatever you connect with higher self. I am ready and willing to receive the most delicious miracles of life because it’s not only what you’re calling into your life, but how you wanna feel.

And for me, my favorite word in Spanish is dio. And just when I connect with that, I wanna feel spacious. I wanna feel in like I’m enjoying it. I wanna feel better about myself. I wanna feel more expansive. That emotion is what moves you to a reality that already exists.

Sam Believ: Speaking of the word de reso.

It’s time for us to wrap up and I can have my lunch. I’m doing this intermittent fasting, so I’m getting pretty hungry. And you’re talking about tele. Elizabeth, thank you so much for sharing. Yeah. I think you have a very interesting story. And you lost parting words for the audience and tell them more.

They can find more about you and find your courses, your coaching.

Elizabeth Ramírez: Thank you so much for inviting me, and thank you so much for doing this. I really honor the educational aspect of this path. Any group teacher I don’t really believe in gurus, teachers, healers. I think that there’s people that can hold a safe space for you to go as deep as you need to realize that you’re your own healer.

Your own girl. Your own teacher. Yeah. And. That’s our gift to the world. If I could only share one thing is for people who’s feeling in doubt of themselves, or for people who’s looking to start a path of self discovery, you are granted a uniqueness that it’s replaceable in the world. And it is a istic note not to explore that and not to give the best of yourself back to the world.

So I really appreciate you following your own path and inviting me to join it. And very happy to keep this conversation going and communicate, especially on Instagram. You can find me like Elisa Ramirez.

Sam Believ: Okay, thank you guys for listening. As always, will you the whole assembly and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large. Please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening. Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information.

Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca, retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity, laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Mark “The Shark” Irwin — former bare-knuckle boxing world champion turned psychedelic mental health advocate. Known for fighting on heroic doses of psilocybin, Mark now leads a nonprofit supporting athletes recovering from traumatic brain injuries through psychedelic therapy.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Mark’s story and fighting career journey (00:03:00)
  • Microdosing and traumatic brain injury recovery (00:04:00)
  • Fighting competitively on psilocybin (00:05:00)
  • Flow state and performance enhancement through psychedelics (00:07:00)
  • Legality and controversy around psychedelics in sports (00:09:00)
  • Intentions and different uses of plant medicine (00:10:00)
  • Psilocybin tolerance and intentional usage (00:11:00)
  • Boxing, childhood trauma, and emotional release (00:13:00)
  • The therapeutic use of psychedelics for brain healing (00:15:00)
  • Mental health, masculinity, and emotional expression (00:20:00)
  • Psychedelics and ego dissolution (00:29:00)
  • Suicidal ideation, healing, and hope (00:33:00)
  • Recovery protocols: red light, HBOT, integration (00:38:00)
  • Future vision: healing others post-fighting (00:40:00)
  • Movement, fitness, and somatic integration (00:42:00)
  • Athletes Journey Home nonprofit & fundraising (00:44:00)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Mark Irwin at http://www.athletesjourneyhome.com or on Instagram @markthesharkirwin

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Mark Irwin: I actually attribute plant medicine and psilocybin to turn professional and to pursue bare knuckle boxing all my professional fights under the influence of psilocybin. I had the knockout of the year award for bare knuckle boxing in 2022. I took five grams that day.

When I won the world title in 2023, I took seven and a half grams over the course of the day before the title fight. I have a lot of, its. Experience competitively taking psilocybin, and now I’m more interested in the reparative benefits of it, using it to help undo a lot of the damage that I incurred as a result of taking mushrooms and fighting

Sam Believ: plant medicines.

They’re not good. They’re not bad. They’re neutral. Yes. It’s like you can use plant medicines to heal, like in your case, heal traumatic brain injury and recovery. It’s all about the intentions.

Mark Irwin: Absolutely. And everything in between. It’s great for community building. Roy developing relationships. So yeah, I think it has medical therapeutic benefits.

I think it has performative benefits and I think it has social benefits. Feelings are a part of the human experience and part of being healthy is feeling those feelings and expressing them. And I think that psychedelics are really beneficial in getting people in touch with their emotions and their feelings.

We took a number of high profile athletes and put them through psilocybin therapy. And did a lot of data collection before and after with brain scans and gut biome testing blood work so that we can prove definitively that these medicines do have a therapeutic benefit.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, really the whole assembly of. Today I am having a conversation with Mark Irvin. Mark is a bare knuckle boxing champion previous champion, right? He’s known for as Mark the Shark Irvin. He’s known for his aggressive style and he is also known for his mental health advocacy.

So yin and yang. Very good. He’s currently active in raising awareness for brain injury recovery and mental health in combat sports. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

Mark, welcome to show. It’s a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me. 20 or 30 episodes ago, I interviewed Ian McCall and they’re working on this project together. It’s called Athletes

Mark Irwin: Journey Home.

Sam Believ: Athletes Journey Home. Say that in your back. Basically they’re working on this idea of using psychedelics to treat traumatic brain injury.

And I think it’s a great idea, but before we start talking about that, mark. Tell us about your journey. What brought you to Bare Kn boxing and now to private medicines?

Mark Irwin: I started microdosing back in 2018 after a long amateur boxing career because I had read that psilocybin can be beneficial for people that have had traumatic brain injuries.

And having won a couple state championships as an amateur in my twenties, I had incurred a number of. Concussions and brain injuries diagnosed and undiagnosed. So in interest of investing in my brain health and mental wellbeing, I started microdosing and I got really positive results. I started using it with my training and again, more positive results.

And I actually attribute plant medicine and psilocybin to giving me the motivation to turn professional. And to pursue bare knuckle boxing, so I would use it. Performatively. I fought all my professional fights under the influence of psilocybin. I had the Knockout of the year award for bare knuckle boxing in 2022.

I took five grams that day. When I won the world title in 2023, I took seven and a half grams over the course of the day before the title fight. I had the fight of the year award in 2023. When I lost the belt I took seven grams. So I have a lot of experience competitively taking psilocybin, and now I’m more interested in the reparative.

Benefits of it, using it to help undo a lot of the damage that I incurred as a result of taking mushrooms and fighting.

Sam Believ: Have you considered fighting while in ayahuasca? No.

Mark Irwin: I have not. And probably would not have the best performative benefits. I’ve actually yet to do ayahuasca, but we do have an ayahuasca retreat scheduled for the fall.

Where we’ll be taking a number of athletes with traumatic brain injuries and putting them through ayahuasca therapy and integration. Very nice.

Sam Believ: Hopefully before that, we’ll do to do another one with with the end. Yeah, I’d love to. Yeah. So fighting on mushrooms. That’s something that I remember Ian told me when I was interviewing him.

It’s it’s incredible. It’s not something you. Normally think of, I take mushrooms, all I wanna do is lie down and laugh. Or, maybe process some emotions. So how did you end up using mushrooms for that? What was the, that’s a, basically what was the discovery process?

Mark Irwin: It was a couple things that motivated me to start using it in competition. One thing was that I had read that the Vikings used to take massive doses of mushrooms and go raid England. Go Berser. Yeah, the berserkers. So they were a motivation. And then I had read a story about. A Pittsburgh pirate pitcher in the MLB in the seventies that pitched a no-hitter on LSD.

And so that was planted the seed and gave me the idea to start using psychedelics competitively, and I got great benefit from it. I find that it’s gives me a great cardiovascular benefit. Is great for confidence, helps me better activate flow state and really get into my groove. So to speak.

And it gives me a tremendous amount of confidence when I’m competing. So I think it’s the best pre-workout supplement you could take. It’s one of the best performance enhancing tools. And now I try to use my experience to really advocate for the benefits of psychedelics and plant medicine.

Sam Believ: Talk to me about the flow state. ‘Cause flow state, it can be used in fighting, can be used in other things like, what’s the protocol to unlock the flow state?

Mark Irwin: So I think for one, just competing how you practice, right? So using it in training so that I’m comfortable and acclimated to performing on psychedelics.

But I find that it really helps me get into my my groove, so to speak. And it really helps me. To, like I said, get into my flow state unlocks a lot of creativity and intuition, and I find that I just perform at a much higher level.

Sam Believ: So intuition as in like few seconds before the punch comes, you already know it kind, it’s coming and it’s yeah.

You get to those states.

Mark Irwin: Yeah. Your ability to feel it before it happens to be more intuitive.

Sam Believ: Do you reckon? It’s it’s like a form of shamanism combative shamanism or something like that. Have you ever heard about stories that like Shalon fight spiritual battles? Sure.

Mark Irwin: Yeah, absolutely.

And I think that’s one of the benefits of psychedelics from a medicinal standpoint, is that it can really help us overcome a lot of mental and emotional trauma. To fight those spiritual demons like you speak of, yeah. So from a clinical therapeutic standpoint, I think it’s very beneficial as well as a performative standpoint.

Sam Believ: Yeah. So do you reckon, is it legal? Have you ever gotten trouble or it’s you’re consuming can it be considered doping or not really?

Mark Irwin: So that’s a great question. Combat sports are regulated by the athletic commissions. The athletic commissions have a list of band substances that you are not allowed to take prior to competition.

Psilocybin is not on the band substance list, therefore it’s technically not against the rules to take massive amounts of mushrooms before your fights. And to that end, actually Ian, my coach, who was a MMA world champion and a UFC star. After I won the world title, he went on a podcast and he was bragging about how his fighter me took seven and a half grams and won the world championship, and he was on five in my corner at the time.

This clip went viral and it made its way around the internet. My opponent and his team saw the clip and they started sending it to my organization, the athletic commission, saying I should be stripped because I cheated and I should be banned. But again, as it turns out, it’s not against the rules and therefore it was not a violation.

Yeah.

Sam Believ: Yeah. He spoke about my podcast as well, and it’s it’s just it just breaks the pattern because you don’t associate psychedelics with fighting, it’s count, dude. It’s what do you mean five grams? Like you roll the ball and you sit in the corner and bigrams or fighting.

What do you mean? But but it’s pretty cool, and it’s a great example that plat medicines don’t really have a specific. They’re not good. They’re not bad. They’re neutral. Yes. It’s like you can use plant medicines to heal, like in your case, heal traumatic brain injury and recovery. You can use them to kill, potentially, let’s say you’re not a UFC fire, you’re a berserker.

You take some shrooms and you go and raid the village. So it’s all about the intentions.

Mark Irwin: Absolutely. And everything in between. It’s great for community building. Developing relationships, amongst people I think is another great benefit of it from a social standpoint. So yeah, I think it has medical therapeutic benefits.

I think it has performative benefits and I think it has social benefits. But yeah, it’s whatever your intention is to your point, and what you wanna get out of the medicine.

Sam Believ: What about the tolerance? Because mushrooms are known for developing tolerance pretty quickly, so Yes. Are you aware of that?

How do you manage that? Or is it actually a desirable outcome?

Mark Irwin: That’s a great question. And to your point, I do have quite a high tolerance with psychedelics as I have an extensive history with them and that’s why I’m able to take such large doses and compete. Whereas I think most people would find that nearly impossible.

Because I’ve built my way up to that level of having taken large amounts. I’m able to perform at a high level, even under God-like doses of psychedelics. But for me these days, I think. The most important thing is intention, right? I think in the past I used to use it much more recreationally, right?

For fun, going out with women or going to a party and all kinds of things, right? But now I really try to be more intentful about how I use the medicine. So I use it very specifically specific for training, competition, or for recovery.

Sam Believ: Very nice. So let’s go back and past. And talk about, fighting.

I, as I told you I also fought, did some boxing when I was a teenager. My, actually, my very first time at the boxing gym I was seven years old. Like I watched it was like one of those kung fu movies or whatever about karate, whatever. And I enjoyed it. And I was like, ha. And my dad was like, oh, you wanna do boxing?

And my brother was doing boxing, so I was like, I ended up in the boxing gym and not enough. I. Train together. If I put it all together, it’s eight years. But I’m a peaceful guy. I never fight. Nobody tends to wanna fight me, so I never, but I, but you know how to fight. So it’s like a skill that sits there.

So in my case, it was just like my, my, my dad said you have to do it. Like I want, it’s he is in European way. You just, yeah, you do martial art or you’re not, you’re not a boy, you’re not a man. It’s and my dad trained boxing and my granddad trained boxing, what what brought you to martial arts? What brought you to boxing? We’re talking about boxing and mental health. So a lot of time when you start digging deeper, yeah. It’s maybe bullying and security. Fear. Was there any story like this that made you have to overcome something and become stronger and become world champion?

Mark Irwin: Yeah, so I’ve been a fan of combat sports my whole life. I grew up as a kid watching old fights with my dad. He had this massive VHS collection of old fights, and we’d watch ’em and he’d tell me about all the old fighters and the history of the sport. And I fell in love with it. And so we’d watch all these old tapes and so I’d always been a fan, but I actually started rather late in life.

I ran track and field in college and I dropped outta school and I was looking for something to pursue athletically. I was interested in and some friends of mine bought me to the boxing gym and I fell in love with it right away and I found it was something that I could really put my all into.

Alright, so I started competing. Ended up winning a couple championships as an amateur, working in gyms, training people, and yeah, I’ve been doing it ever since. So I love combat sports. It’s really given me an identity and a platform for which I’m now able to use to advocate for other causes like mental health and recovery.

Sam Believ: In a way, it’s good you started later because traumatic brain injury is worse in childhood. Yeah. And it accumulates. And then now you’re doing things to recover your brain, let’s talk about traumatic brain injury. So obviously you have the project together with Ian. You’re working on that.

So what, I know you’ve already done one little study. What have you found so far with traumatic brain injury and psychedelics?

Mark Irwin: One of the benefits that most people are aware of is that psychedelics. Help improve neuroplasticity of the brain, which means that your brain is able to create new neural pathways for information to travel.

So the potential healing benefits of that are very great as it comes to brain damage and traumatic brain injuries. We partnered with experience onward in Portland, Oregon. For our first research study back in March. We took a number of high profile athletes. And put them through psilocybin therapy and did a lot of data collection before and after with brain scans and gut biome testing, blood work so that we can prove definitively that these medicines do have a therapeutic benefit.

Yeah. So we’re really excited to get the results back from that study as well as conducting other studies in the psychedelics.

Sam Believ: So you’re still expecting the results, right? But, end love one observationally. What what do people say, what do the athletes say? Did they feel improvements, maybe a lot, know less headaches or what would be the good metric?

Mark Irwin: Yeah. Anecdotally, everybody that went through the therapy reported to have improved mental and emotional clarity. I felt lower levels of anxiety, depression, things like that. So those would be the main things that I noticed, just emotionally. And like I said, we’re really excited to get back the data as far as the brain health.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s it’s very curious. I I had a traumatic brain injury when I was a kid. I was just playing and I fell and hit my head. I had a bump like this on my I looked like unicorn and I was. Basically, I had headaches for three years. Oh, wow. And even later when I was training boxing, I think I was 16, I had to stop training boxing because as and I wasn’t in many competitions like my parents, they wanted me to train, but they didn’t want me to participate in competitions.

Yeah. Because of traumatic brain injury. But as every time you hit a bag, impact forces, a bit of that force comes back to you. And my favorite thing to do, and I think it was a mental health thing as well, but I was like, my, my dad was really abusive. My childhood wasn’t like really happy and what I really enjoyed about boxing, I think boxing kept me sane as well.

’cause I had this emotional release yes, every day. But there was this bag in the corner of my gym and it was like a water bag. And I had those like very light gloves and I would just go there in a corner. For five, six rounds just wow. Like it was so enjoyable. Sure. First. Sure. I started getting headaches again, and then I had to stop boxing because I, my head was hurting and it was literally like, I would hit the bag and it would start hurting.

So I quit boxing and I went to gym. That’s why I’m so jacked about. I’m just kidding. But I was like, I was last time I fought, I was, I fought in 75 kilo category. Right now, I’m like 95. And I was like, still same height, but I was like really skinny. I was really fast. Yeah. Long long hands.

So I guess a clinchco style, like yes. Keep the distance in jab and grab, yeah. Yeah. Something like that. But I don’t have any claim to fame. I was never really, I was never really a fan. I just did it ’cause my dad wanted to. But I understand it’s also a great exercise and it’s great to know how to fight.

But yes. Let’s talk about that aspect of mental health and fighting, like why a lot of, I don’t know, maybe your journey was different, but have you noticed people using fighting as a mental health tool as well to release and let go?

Mark Irwin: Definitely. My coach Ian, he always jokes that professional fighters are grown men in their underwear acting out their childhood traumas for the world to watch.

And I think that’s a good description. We’re all fighting our own metaphorical battles, and I think a lot of fighters traditionally come from a background of trauma, as far as me as a kid, I had a pretty traumatic upbringing myself. I was addicted to drugs and alcohol for a long time as a teenager.

Lots of fights got expelled from school, jail, rehab, right? I’ve been homeless. I’ve had loaded guns pointed at my face. I think all those experience actually primed me to be the fighter that I was, because I learned that I’m very hard to kill, I’m very resilient and that I can overcome anything.

I’ve had to rebuild my life from scratch a couple times over. And I think that those experiences made me the fighter that I am. And I think there’s a lot of parallels between fighting and life because life is a fight, right? And I think for a lot of us. It gives us an opportunity to fight those spiritual demons and act out a lot of those traumas, and get that release like you talked about. So yeah, I think there’s a lot of therapeutic benefit to training combat sports. I think there’s a lot of benefit, like you said, to knowing that life skill. I always say martial arts is for everybody. It’s a life skill. Just like swimming is a life skill. You don’t need to know how to swim, but if you fall off a boat, you’ll fucking wish you knew how.

Yeah, you don’t need to know how to fight, but if someone ever comes and brings violence to you, it’s good to know how to protect yourself. So I’m a big advocate for martial arts for everybody because the peace of mind that comes with knowing how to protect yourself is invaluable. I never worry for my safety or wellbeing when I go out and about because I know that I can take care of myself.

Sam Believ: The peace of mind the confidence, the sort of masculine feeling like, you kinda, you can take a lot of guys, it’s, it definitely, whether real or not, or illusionary or not, this still helps and it. Makes you present in a certain way in the world. And I wanna talk about masculinity later, but first you talked about childhood trauma and like you being a rebellious kid, so obviously you address psychedelics from the point of view of performance and then a healing traumatic brain injury.

But have you noticed that maybe you’re less rebellious now, maybe like that? What do you think caused that? To be, to behave that way. And like, how are you working with that?

Mark Irwin: Yeah. Like I said all that trauma I think definitely instilled a lot of anger inside me. And for a long time that was a driving force that led me to drug and alcohol abuse and violence, getting in street fights and in jail and all kinds of legal problems.

I think that. Using psychedelics has brought me a certain level of peace that for a long time I was lacking and has really helped to make me a more calm, loving, empathetic, sympathetic individual as a result of my vast experience with plant medicine.

Sam Believ: So are you worried that taking away that anger and bringing your peace might take away your edge?

And like you’re no longer gonna be Mark the Shark Irving, you’re gonna be mark the Teddy Bear Irvin, or something

Mark Irwin: like that. That’s a great question. If I’m being fully honest and candid with you, I think that to some degree at this point, psychedelics probably have taken something from me as a fighter, right?

I think for a long time it was to my benefit, I was using them performatively. Having undergone psilocybin therapy and integration therapy and emotional therapy, with a clinician and working through a lot of my past traumas and things like that, it’s helped heal a lot of those past unresolved issues.

And so it probably isn’t good for the fire in my belly, so to speak, that can be beneficial to a fighter.

Sam Believ: Absolutely. It’s probably good for you though, as a human being long term because that anger that drives you and makes you achieve things or prove something to someone, it’s also the same anger that eventually will like, kill you slowly or get you addicted or what, like a lot of CEOs, so a lot of VC people are really afraid about their CEOs going to drink ayahuasca.

Because they’re afraid that they will lose their edge, and they’ll be like, why am I trying to prove something to someone? Why am I doing something I don’t need to do? And they just retire and go be happy. So it’s it’s a double-edged sword. So I don’t know, I’m, I’ve definitely had plenty of Ayahuasca experiences and I’ve asked myself like, am I doing things just because I want to do it?

Am I doing it just to prove something to someone? And I guess if there was, just from the point of view of proving it, it would probably just be gone by now. Yeah. So I guess in the end you stay you’re still left with drive, but now your drive is like, how can I help people? How can I make a world a better place?

And I have a feeling it’s gonna lead to better things and talking about better things. So we’re coming to you guys from Maps conference right behind us. This way. I’m looking as a, as an exhibit hall. Bunch of people trying to make the world a better place and create products. And mark is here collecting funds for his program, for developing veterans.

How’s it going with the, with raising money?

Mark Irwin: It’s a slow going. All of our research is donation based. Our first research study, the psilocybin therapy that we did in Portland, Oregon last March was funded entirely by my organization, BKB Ver Knuckle. The president of my organization wrote us a check after my last world title, fight to fund the research.

So thank you to Mike Vasquez, BKB, bare Knuckle President. But yeah, all of our research is donation based. So we’re currently looking for poor donations to fund our next round of therapy. We are a nonprofit. All of our donations go 100% to sponsoring the therapy of these athletes. We don’t have a salary, we don’t take a commission on that, right?

We are solely based, we’re solely focused on helping people recover and collecting data to help advance the cause and the mission.

Sam Believ: Amazing. I’m talking to Ian now. We can organize something. I’ll give you guys a giant discount to make sure he can come drink some medicine at La Wire.

We’re talking to Ian as we speak, so hopefully we can make it happen. Yeah. Thanks to the founder of BYB. Dana, if you’re listening, come give us some money. We will we’ll take some we’ll take care. Ex fighters will fix them up a little bit because they deserve to be happy as well.

So I’m sure he is not listening, if someone knows someone who knows him, pass the word along because it’s not a lot of money. Like 10, 20,000 bucks. We can take them all to the wire for a week and that’d be amazing. Yeah, probably. Create some good content as well.

Definitely. It’s probably gonna be funny as well.

Mark Irwin: Yeah. And we have a media team actually. We need help with that. We have we’re producing a show based on my life behind the scenes. It’s gonna be on my organization’s YouTube channel. It’s called The Shark Show. But yeah, we would love to collaborate with you guys.

Sam Believ: We’re we’re currently filming a documentary about ayahuasca. Cool. The angle we’re taking is actually. A more unique angle. It’s like a comedic angle, like the, it’s deep, but let’s talk about, let’s look at it from a funny side. And as a lot of comedians are also into UFC.

Sure. Hopefully we can find an angle there, maybe get some content. Maybe we can get, I dunno, support from Joe Rogan or someone like He, he is big into ayahuasca. He is big into comedy. He is big into UFC and I believe he still hasn’t had any ayahuasca. Talks about it, but he never tried it. Joe, if you’re listening, you know you’re invited.

Mark Irwin: Yeah. We’d love to come on the podcast and talk about all the psychedelic research we’ve been doing.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Ian has been on this podcast couple times, right?

Mark Irwin: Yeah.

Sam Believ: My podcast is not huge. We are close to a hundred episodes, but I think I’ve already had four or five guests that had been on Joe Rogan.

So there’s definitely some kind of inter lab. Anyways we touched the topic of if you’re a fighter, you feel more secure, you feel more masculine. Let’s talk about masculine energy, feminine energy, balance, psychedelics fighting, anything that comes to mind.

Mark Irwin: Yeah, I certainly think as far as combat sports is concerned, it’s definitely a very hyper-masculine sport, right?

Which has pros and cons. I think psychedelics can very much have a deflating quality to the hyper-masculinity. I always say psychedelics have really helped kill my ego, which I think is important for a long time in fighting. It’s predicated on the idea that you have this hyper-masculine, like super dominant ego.

I’m the best in the world. I can beat anybody that they put on the other side of me, right? You need that. To be beneficial, but I think in a more real world setting, I don’t know that type of mindset and mentality is always beneficial for yourself or the community. And that’s where I think that the disillusion of ego as far as psychedelics concerned, is greatly beneficial from a social and communal standpoint.

Sam Believ: Yeah, there’s there is, I believe a different kind of masculinity, like a more, as opposed to roaring shiny flame. Like a soaring, a quiet confidence. Yeah, like a quiet confidence. And also balance with feminine energy, because it’s kinda less of a fighter energy, but more of a father energy.

It’s it can be gentle with your kids, but it’s like paternal. But then if somebody like, oh, like attacks you that you like.

Mark Irwin: Then you’re the defender of the tribe, right? Absolutely. The soldier. And that’s the male’s role I think in society, right? Hunter, gatherer, soldier, defender of the tribe and the family unit.

Yeah, but you can’t have one without the other. If it was only masculine energy, there’d be no balance. So you need to have both. And I think that to your point, psychedelics is good at calming down that hyper-masculine mentality. And like helping to find a balance.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I’m still working on it myself.

I haven’t figured it out completely, but it is an interesting journey because we take a lot of things for granted. It’s oh, you come from a certain culture and that’s how you should be. You should never cry. You shouldn’t feel those things. Like I, I was, one of the things I was working with that Oscar for a very long time is like feeling my emotions.

I went from like never crying at all to like sometimes crying in a word circle, and I don’t, it doesn’t make me feel weak. No, it’s actually the other way around. But it is like culturally, we, our version of masculinity, I think has been a little skewed.

Mark Irwin: Yes. Yeah. To your point, we’re trained as men at a young age to not cry.

To be tough and to walk it off. Don’t be a whim. And so that gets ingrained in us from a psychological standpoint. But, feelings are a part of the human experience and part of being healthy is ex feeling those feelings and expressing them. And I think that psychedelics are really beneficial in getting people in touch with their emotions and their feelings.

One of the great benefits I think of psilocybin specifically. Is that if there are like mental and emotional things that maybe you’ve been avoiding or ignoring, it really brings that to the forefront of your mind, right? And forces you to, to confront and deal with those things that maybe you’ve been trying to sweep under the rug, so to speak.

And I think that emotional intelligence. It is really important for being an overall like healthy person, mentally, emotionally, and physically, right? It’s all one and the same and they’re all interconnected. So being in touch with your emotions and being able to express your emotions in a healthy calm manner is really important.

Especially as men because so often we’re told by society not to do that, and that can create all kinds of problems, right? So I’m a big advocate for. Using psilocybin performatively rehabilitative from brain injuries, but also mental and emotional trauma.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Because also if you repress your feelings, anything you repress eventually explodes.

Yeah. As you repress your anger, you repress your sadness, it then results like ugly stuff. What would you say to like young men that let’s say are struggling with mental health or. Masculinity, lack thereof, may be lack of paternal figure. Any guiding words?

Mark Irwin: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s a great question.

I’m glad you asked that. For my last world title fight, I dedicated my fight to my older brother Daniel, and my friend Jeff, who boast unfortunately lost their battle with mental health and took their own lives in the lead up to my last fight. So I really wanted to use the platform to advocate for mental health and suicide prevention.

And the one piece of advice I would give to any young person that’s struggling with mental health is just to hang in there and keep going. Most people that commit suicide statistically are young men, and the reason is because they do not have enough life experience to realize that you might be going through, a hard time right now.

You’ll get through it. Life is up and down. It’s a rollercoaster, so sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. I think when you’re up, it’s important not to get too high and when you’re down, not to allow yourself to get too low, because you know that it’s gonna change one day from one to the other.

And that’s life is just a series of highs and lows. When you’re young and you’re going through hell, it seems like it’s gonna be forever, but you just have to keep going because the truth is it’s not and nothing is insurmountable. So if you’re going through, hell, keep going. If this world has knocked you on your ass, that’s okay.

I’ve been knocked on my ass in the fight game. I’ve been knocked on my ass. In the real world, you have to get up and you have to keep fighting because that’s what champions do. If that’s the advice that I would give to anybody struggling with mental health to keep fighting and to reach out, don’t be quiet.

You don’t have to fight this fight alone. You can confide in a friend or a mentor, right? Because we’re all here to help each other, we are social creatures. We cannot exist without a community. So if you’re struggling, reach out to those that you trust and that you love because permanent solution to a temporary problem is never the answer.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s it’s a very strong topic because suicidal, suicide is rampant to see it is going higher and it’s like social media and all the life we live now, it’s it doesn’t help. We get lots of people buying one way ticket to come to my retreat because they’re like, if I’m like desperate, if this doesn’t work, I’m gonna hand it.

So far, all of them are, get better and then they buy a return ticket and they’re better than before. So definitely keep fighting as mark says don’t give up. And if you are at the, at your whims edge or what’s the phrase? You’re, you’re, there’s nothing else you can think of and you’re about to give up.

I say try ayahuasca, try psychedelics, try mushrooms. Whatever is available for you, if you come, if you can come to Ara, like I can guarantee you it will reset something and give you a different perspective long enough for you to get on a more productive mental health healing journey.

Because it’s just that’s the beauty of psychedelics. It’s almost instant that you can. Like reset and all of a sudden you’re like, oh my God, what was I thinking? And but in the end, we still need to do the work And psychedelics is not an end all be all, but it is a good, beginning. What are your thoughts about psychedelics and suicidal ideation?

Mark Irwin: That’s a great question. And to be completely honest, I’ve been at points in my life where, I’ve been contemplating suicidal thoughts as well. I’ve lost everything in life a couple times over. Like I said, I’ve been addicted to drugs, alcohol, homeless, jail, rehab most of the worst things in the human experience.

I’ve experienced them. But nothing is forever, right? Everything is temporary. So hanging in there, pushing through and I think psychedelics are a great benefit. But to your point. Psychedelics just in and of themselves are not gonna cure your problem. You do have to do the emotional work.

And that’s where therapy and integration coaching can be of great benefit to people to help them work through those traumas. Because psychedelics aren’t a solution. It’s a tool that we can use to fix the problem. But that’s where the coaching and the mental health and everything comes into play as well.

Sam Believ: So apart from psychedelic work what other routines and practices do you have that, that help you on your journey?

Mark Irwin: Yeah, so I’m very concerned and invested in physical and mental health. So I do quite a protocol. I’m sponsored by a recovery center called Restore Hyper Wellness. It’s a national brand.

They have all kinds of different healing modalities, including hyperbaric oxygen therapy, red light therapy, cryotherapy, infrared sauna. So on a weekly basis, I make sure to make use of all of those amenities. Hyperbaric, ther, hyperbaric oxygen therapy and red light has been huge for my recovery from traumatic brain injuries.

So to anybody that’s struggling with TBIs and concussions, I would strongly recommend doing some research on psilocybin and hyperbaric oxygen therapy.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I actually recently started doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy as well. Synchronistically, so like I just ended up.

Randomly the clinic and it’s oh, I’ll do it. And luckily, so it’s very affordable in Columbia. So if you weren’t a fighter or let’s say tomorrow mushrooms take away any anger and you just can’t fight anymore, what would you do?

Mark Irwin: I’d continue what I’m doing with the the nonprofit, right.

Trying to help. Heal people from traumatic brain injuries as well as emotional and mental trauma. I’ve incurred a lot of TBIs through my fighting career and my life. I’ve incurred a lot of mental and emotional trauma, through all my personal experiences. And I don’t want anybody to have to suffer the way I’ve, gone through the things that I’ve gone through.

So I’m very focused and interested on my healing journey as well as, trying to share my knowledge and experience with other people to help them on their healing journey. My fighting career is not over, but it’s definitely, I can see. The light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

The hour, the sand and hourglass is winding down and the next phase of my life is gonna be about helping heal people.

Sam Believ: That’s very yin and yang as well. You punch people and then you help ’em heal.

Mark Irwin: Yeah.

Sam Believ: Find the balance,

Mark Irwin: And at that point I was talking a lot in my last fight.

It’s ironic. I was using the platform to advocate for mental health and the nonprofit. So I had to go out there and give and receive brain damage in order to raise money to help heal brain damage. Yeah. But I think there’s something very poetic about that.

Sam Believ: Hey, yeah. Sometimes it’s it’s, sometimes to get peace you need more war.

Yeah. So I think there’s a phrase Latin. No, it’s if you want peace, get ready for war.

Mark Irwin: We have a similar expression in English. It’s nobody knows the amount of violence it took for me to become this peaceful. Yeah. Yeah.

Sam Believ: Life is paradoxical. Yeah. Psychedelics is, are paradoxical. It’s a very interesting journey.

You mentioned integration. Tell us about it. What are you any favorite tips and tricks? What do you do personally to integrate your psychedelic experiences?

Mark Irwin: So I’ve worked with integration coaches in the spiritual sector. And I also do clinical emotional therapy as well, talking to a therapist.

About my problems. In addition to, like I said, hyperbaric red light exercise daily is a big part of my protocol as well, because if you’re not physically healthy, you’re not gonna be mentally and emotionally healthy. And exercise is very important for brain health, especially cardiovascular exercise.

So I make sure that I make that a part of my daily routine, working out at least five to six days a week. And then eating right because nutrition is a big part of overall. Physical health, mental health, and emotional health as well. So making sure that I’m eating right, living right, and all the things physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Do you journal a little bit? I’m trying to make it a more regular part of my routine. I’m inconsistent with it, but I do like to time, from time get out a notebook and a pen and write down what I did for the day or what I’m feeling and experiencing because I think there’s a lot of benefit to getting it out.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s hard. I, I prefer to do audio recording. It’s easier, like you go on a walk. It’s interesting the angle to use exercises, integration, it’s really rarely spoken, but, somatic in your body. Movement, punching stuff. If you’re angry, punch some stuff. We have at my retreat, we have a gym.

Yeah. There is a punching bag. Some people go and they do it. We did some somatic stuff where. People are like punching pillows and screaming. Yeah. Oh, show meditation. Yeah. There’s lots of interesting things.

Mark Irwin: And for sure, and it’s great for that, but to anybody watching this, it doesn’t have to be strictly combat sports.

Like I’m a big runner. I do a lot of long distance running. I love lifting weights as well as boxing and martial arts. It doesn’t have to be combative sports, but including exercise. To be, again, physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy is important for all of us. Your body is designed to move by nature, right?

And through modern advances in technology and science, we have a much more sedentary lifestyle now. And I think that has been the cause of a lot of these neurogenerative diseases, these chronic lifestyle diseases that are having such a exponential uprise. And it’s because people aren’t exercising and eating right?

Sam Believ: Yeah. Anything else you wanna talk about? I’m done with my questions.

Mark Irwin: Yeah. It’s been a pleasure to be here. If you guys haven’t seen it. There’s a small documentary called Athletes Journey Home on YouTube that documents our last research project when we put a number of high profile athletes through psilocybin therapy.

We’re currently raising funds for our next research project, which will be in Aya Ski Retreat in Peru this fall. For more information or to donate, you can go to athletes journey home.com or if you want to get in touch with me personally, you can get in touch with me on Instagram at mark the Shark Irwin.

Now.

Sam Believ: Yeah, guys if you have some if you like to collaborate with people and donate and you have some disposable income, that’s definitely a good cause. And hopefully. Yeah, hopefully we can do something together as also.

Mark Irwin: Yeah. And to that point, all donations, a hundred percent of donations go to sponsoring the therapy of athletes.

And it’s also a tax write off, so there is some benefit from you there at the end of the year for tax season as well.

Sam Believ: Amazing. I think especially for Americans. For sure. Cool.

Mark Irwin: Walmart. Pleasure talking to you. It’s been a pleasure, my friend. Thank you for having me on. I’d love to come on again.

Yep. Yeah, absolutely. Cool.

Sam Believ: Thank you guys. You’ll be listening to Ayahuasca podcast, as always, the as always with you, the whole and believe, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic Renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Luke Jensen, a former US Marine and National Guard veteran turned psychedelic researcher and neurofeedback practitioner. After his own healing journey with PTSD, Luke now leads veteran-focused retreats in Peru and pioneers research on brain mapping with Ayahuasca and Wachuma.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Luke’s military background and PTSD healing journey (00:49–02:02)
  • His first powerful Ayahuasca experience in the jungle (02:06–04:03)
  • What to do when Ayahuasca “doesn’t work” right away (05:38–08:15)
  • Unconscious healing and the idea for brain scans during ceremony (08:15–10:19)
  • What is QEEG brain mapping and why Luke uses it (10:34–12:52)
  • Neurofeedback as a healing and spiritual optimization tool (12:52–16:06)
  • Importance of brain health in mental health recovery (16:31–18:35)
  • Working with UFC fighters and brain injury recovery (19:03–21:30)
  • First-ever brain imaging study on Wachuma (21:50–23:39)
  • Differences between Ayahuasca and Wachuma (24:10–25:47)
  • Science, skepticism, and cultural projections onto indigenous shamans (33:20–36:41)
  • The role of science in legitimizing traditional medicine (36:41–41:11)
  • How Luke became a self-taught neuroscientist outside academia (44:11–45:46)
  • Brainwaves 101: delta, theta, alpha, beta, gamma explained (48:24–50:09)
  • Ego and the Default Mode Network (51:46–52:29)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Luke Jensen at neuroenlightenment.com

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Luke Jensen: Science is a modern religion. Everyone’s a skeptic. Their doctors doesn’t say, it’s on the news of science doesn’t say so. It’s not true. You and I know those experiences are powerful, but to change a culture between the civilization, we have to approach it in a scientific way.

I think that’s why we want to build up the data, and I think the more data, the more databases we have on these beautiful changes that happen over and over again, they’ll really. Give us a step forward to changing the culture. Your brainwaves is your energy signature of your brain. You have the four core brain waves, delta, theta, alpha, and beta and gamma.

Their waves going across the brain and by reading how they appear in the brain, we can see a lot about what’s going on. And these brainwaves are basically the physical structures of the brain, millions of neurons firing at once. That creates that wave. For someone from your retreat, I forget who she was, I mentioned the brain mapping and she goes, oh, is that like auras?

And I’m like because we’re taking an energy signature of that person. So for me, like a, an acupuncturist that looks at the tongue of the hologram and sees the health of the body, we can look at those brain waves and see different things. That’s that person’s energetic signature coming from their brain.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, really the host Samie. Today I’m having a conversation with Luke Jensen. Luke is a former US Marine and a National Guard veteran. Stern psychedelic researcher and neurofeedback practitioner. After battling PTSD, he began working with Ayahuasca and Wachuma in Peru, where he now leads veteran focused retreats.

Luke is known for pioneering the first QEEG brain mapping studies on these plant medicines, bringing neuroscience with ancient healing traditions. This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. The Yra Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

Luke. Welcome to the show.

Luke Jensen: Hey, thanks for having me.

Sam Believ: Luke, tell us your story. I touched on it in in the bio, but. Can you go a little deeper? What brought

Luke Jensen: you? Yeah, so I I joined the United States military in 2003. It was right after nine 11, couple years after that.

At the time, it was the war on Terror, so it was a very patriarch kind in the United States. And I joined the Marine Corps because it’s the most challenging branch. I could do. And then six years later I switched to National Guard and Airborne Infantry Unit, and I deployed to Afghanistan in 2011. So that’s how my military career started.

Sam Believ: Cool. And then how was the journey from ex-military to what you do now?

Luke Jensen: Yeah, I went to Afghanistan and then. My views in the war changed a lot. What I was doing changed a lot, and there’s a whole story with that. But basically when I got back, I had severe anxiety symptoms. I wasn’t really sure what they were from.

And I also experienced like this extreme sense of, searching for my purpose in life, and this led me to Ayahuasca eventually. And about a couple years later, I went to Ayahuasca to try to find my purpose to help with my PTSD T symptoms. And just for something else, anything else that really helped me out.

Sam Believ: So how did it go the your Ayahuasca experience?

Luke Jensen: Yeah, the first time was like 10 years ago. It was in 2014. And when you read about these things, I read a lot of books at the time, but they really don’t explain what’s really gonna happen. So my first experience was extremely powerful. The first night I was there, actually nothing happened.

And sometimes this happens with people where nothing will happen. That first experience. But the second night was, just completely awe inspiring. I was in a ketos in the jungle and I was in a moloca that was about 20 feet off the ground ’cause it floods. So just the whole place was very interesting.

Had an eerie feel like you’re on a saline ship. ’cause when you’re in Aya Wase, everything moves a bit. So I was going these walkways near moving and I remember the time that someone said don’t stay outside too long because I was going to a tree and go to the bathroom, come back in.

But I was outside and I looked at the jungle and my first powerful experience on ayahuasca was looking at the jungle, and it was this pretty much experience of complete awe. I’ve never ever had in life at all. I looked through the jungle and it looked like everything was one and connected, and there was these lines of energy moving through everything, and everything was connected.

Everything was one. It was a very profound experience. And then part of ayahuasca is purging, so I purged over the side. I’m this walkway, 20 feet up, and what I see is the earth open up and accept all this negative energy coming out of me. I saw my purge go a thousand miles into the earth and this overall all acceptance.

So immediately I had a very. Powerful experience very quick. And then I went back to the moloca. I saw the shot, my healing people. I saw auras. Everything you can really think of. I was seen at this moment. It was extremely powerful, extremely magical. And it was, at that time I realized there was a lot more to the human existence than we, were in school in Western societies.

Sam Believ: That sounds really nice. I have I have quite, I’ve had. Quite a few of those. All feeling experiences were, one was actually pretty recent, maybe three months ago or so, I was in the ceremony. I was sitting outside of the maloca and we’re not in the jungle, but we’re, four, four Americans or Europeans.

They think we’re in a jungle, but it’s actually more of a countryside. There’s some forests, some pastures and a little bit of jungle. And I was sitting there and I just, I was just looking at. The nature, and I had this all awe feeling, but it was also accompanied with a realization that everything right now and every atom in the universe is exactly where it needs to be.

Luke Jensen: Yeah.

Sam Believ: There is no oh, I should have been this way, I should have been that way. No. This is how it is. And just like everything is perfect and the feeling of connectedness and. I remember I was kinda sitting there because one of the patients were freaking out and I was helping him out and I was so on my process as well and I was, I started, we just, normally we don’t do it, but I started talking to him and I was like, I just wish everyone can feel this at least once in their lab before they die.

But when you’re talking about your first ceremony and like lack of connection, I’m sure now you yourself as you as someone who organizes the retreats. You deal a lot with people like, oh, I’m not connecting. And this first of all talk about this, like how do you view this connection or lack of connection right now?

What do you explain to the people that come to your events? And then I have have an idea for a study that we can do together.

Luke Jensen: Okay. Just, I wanna touch upon that. Awe experience you had, I think is one of the most powerful experiences people have on planned medicines to look at the universe, the complete awe and wonderment and connectedness in that sense that everything’s perfect.

There’s something really special about that, and I agree that it’s these events. That really shape our spiritual lives, in my opinion, is not so much based on faith and we pay. Faith can come and go, but when you have an event where you’re connected like that, it allows you to feel differently and that feeling allows you connect to the universe differently.

So I really appreciate that. Yeah, my first experience, I was really preparing the whole time I was meditating. I was doing the proper ayahuasca diet. I think I was even eating every other day for a while for, and everything you do, I prepared a lot and nothing happened. My first ceremony and everyone else had these amazing experiences, just really powerful experiences.

I’m like, what the, what happened to me? So now that I’m more experienced with Ayahuasca, I agree. Sometimes Ayahuasca takes time to work into the system and sometimes yourself have to be open in a certain way and you have to let it happen. Being there myself and having people come down and people travel across the world for this experience and it’s really tough when, like the first ceremony, maybe first two ceremonies, nothing happens, but this is, the ayahuasca is still working on you no matter what.

Whether you experience a vision or not, the healing still happening and it takes that time to open up and to remind people that this isn’t just a quick pill, this is a process we have to experience.

Sam Believ: Yeah, so that’s that gave me the idea. So that’s exactly what I tell two people including, interestingly enough, we had a veteran who came to the retreat.

He did entire retreat and didn’t feel anything and we were like giving him more and more medicine and he was like, this is bullshit. It’s not working. And he left home really frustrated. He came back home, his wife said, you’ve changed his kids, said you’ve changed. And then six months afterwards he messaged me asking me to send him a logo of RO because he wanted to tattoo it.

And I was like, whatcha talking about you didn’t feel much right? So I was like. Even though his experience was largely unconscious, it like changed his life. And so we’re gonna go to the topic of brain scanning and everything you do, but I have this idea that we should do. We should scan people’s brains during the ceremony for the first few days, and especially focus on the people who are not connecting and compare their brain states when they’re supposedly not connecting to when they are connecting.

Because I have a feeling, and of course it’s just a theory that. Most of the work that’s done by ayahuasca is actually unconscious. And if we can prove it that, actually by the way, your brain looks exactly like the brain of a person that is deeply tripping and reporting all kinds of visions.

Maybe we could find a way. To prove that even though you’re not really feeling much, something is actually happening. Or maybe I’m wrong with that. Guess like what would you think the result would be of that study and how plausible is it for us to do something like that? And then maybe take the topic into the brain scanning idea.

Luke Jensen: Yeah. So when doing brain mapping, it is challenging. Sometimes do during ceremony unless someone has experience can sit still. So you have to keep that in mind because it’s very sensitive. It can be done for sure and we’ve done that, but that’s something to keep in mind. No, that’s a very interesting theory.

I think there’s definitely a process happening. Without the experience, is it increased with the experience? Is it same? Is it different? I’m not really sure. That’s a really good question. And sometimes I’ll go into a project thinking one thing and brain imaging a brain and the ex result, the result is not what I expected.

So just to figure out one way or another. Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s done that. That’d be interesting.

Sam Believ: Yeah. So talk to us about the brain scanning. ’cause that’s how, that’s gonna be a big part of that podcast today. What is what is it? Oh, how is the call properly? What is it that you do and why do you do it?

Luke Jensen: So I do what’s called QEG brain mapping. It’s basically reading the brainwaves. So an e, EG is what in the hospital, A raw brainwaves going across the screen. A-Q-E-E-G is quantitative and it puts the brainwaves in a topographical map and different spectrums, delta, theta, alpha, and beta. Those are major brainwaves and high brain waves appear.

We can see so many different things about people now. So we can see markers for depression, anxiety, head trauma focus issues. So the reason I got into this after the Marine Corps, I was in a really big search for healing after my deployment to Afghanistan. So I was looking for anything and everything, and I tried meditation, hypnosis acupuncture, yoga, and all those things helped a little bit, but none of ’em really shifted me in a way that I really needed.

And someone in Omaha, Nebraska, where I live, where I’m from, she brain mapped me. She was a friend. She did this brain map, this QEEG, and there was a marker for basically PTSD or anxiety. And for me at the time was very liberating. ’cause modern psychology really says there’s something wrong with you and you need to go into those deep issues.

And I was the kind of person, be a military guy to go talk to a. Psychiatrist or a therapist. But if I looked at our brain map and saw this brain pattern that was off, there’s a way to train it. And one way is neurofeedback. There’s different kinds of methods, but what I learned was neurofeedback.

It’s basically using the technology to train brainwaves. And when you train these brainwaves and you shift your state and shift how you feel, and once I started reading about it, I started reading everything about it, every book I could find, and I found out there’s a large spiritual component to brainwaves.

If you think of shamanism or you think of meditation, although there’s certain brainwaves, they’re accessing states, neurological states, and these states are trained. So I found it very interesting because for trained spiritual states, we could potentially use this technology to train people faster. Or maybe it’ll heal people faster.

So I had this inspiration that this technology would work very beautifully in conjunction with plant medicines. Not only could we brain map people pre retreat, post retreat and see the changes in the brain, but could also use this trained technology to enhance people to their peak ability, peak performance, peak spiritual abilities.

So this whole process started. I would say 10 years ago I’ve been reading about it and get, buying small devices. And five or six years ago, I met my mentor and I met him at a conference for neurofeedback and brain mapping. I told him my idea. I didn’t think anyone would really go for it because it sounded so foreign.

And he goes, I’ve been waiting to meet someone like you. I’ll train you. And it turns out his name is Dr. Suiter. It turns out he’s one of the top people in the field and he’s a zen Buddhist. He’s also, expert meditator and I would say a shaman, even though he doesn’t call himself that. So there’s this beautiful relationship that formed and I went back to Pru’s equipment and started brain mapping people and doing the work I’m doing now.

Sam Believ: Amazing. So it’s interesting that with this technology, like with mental health let’s say somebody’s depressed and then they. They feel not depressed or maybe less depressed, and it’s really hard to measure. But if you can scan the brain and say you’re depressed and you can scan the brain you’re no longer depressed.

Were you able to then eventually measure your brain and say I no longer have PTSD or is it completely gone or maybe it’s not gone. Or if it is gone, how long did it take?

Luke Jensen: Yeah, really good question. Brain mapping is one lens to look at the brain. It’s not really meant for diagnosis.

It’s meant for Hey, we see markers for this. We see markers for this, we see markers for this, and it offers a path to healing. So look at a brain map as a roadmap. Okay, if that area of the brain’s dysregulated, that’s what we call it. And we wanna, so for example, PTSD or anxiety pattern. Is high beta at the back of the brain.

If we train that down, that person should feel better. And so we’re basically working to make the brain more efficient, to make them feel better. So just like anything else. Like each person is differently. Some brains are more rigid and harder to move. So if trauma is deeper in the system, that brain might be more challenging.

But generally speaking, this brain train offers people unique way to heal. That’s different from talk therapy’s, different from drugs, different from plant medicines, and I love plan medicines, but it’s one more tool in the toolbox. And I think for those tough cases, especially like I was, I think that was one of my own toughest cases, it allowed a synergy.

For example, think of plant medicines. What do they do? They increased neuroplasticity. They increase the openness of the brain. Most depression, anxiety, for example, the brains come too rigid. It can’t think, novelly, it can’t think of novel solutions. Whether they’re feeling novelly or thinking of novel solutions to get out of whatever situation they might be in.

So the planned medicines opens up that neuroplasticity, and we can measure that with brain mapping. And what I do with the brain training is to increase that neuroplasticity even more so leveraging both off each other.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The synergy is is important because sometimes plant medicines can serve as.

Giving that flexibility and giving hope and giving relief, and then you can combine it with therapy or like in your case brain training. What is the, speaking about neuroplasticity and brain health in general what is the importance of the brain health and mental health?

Luke Jensen: It’s critical.

It’s critical. Most people understand, and neuroscience is bury this out, is that most mental health issues, 50% or more than that, are related to brain health. So when those things, when your brain’s not working right, you’re not gonna feel right. And you can really understand this with physical health, right?

If you have a poor diet, poor gut health, eating lots of sugars, not exercising, you’re not gonna feel gut. The same thing with the brain. If your brain over time, which we all have, in the life we live in the modern world, all brains have wear and tear from stress, from just going through life.

The diet we have and things like that. So if we can make the brain healthier, that person will feel better. So that’s a huge component of what we’re doing and how we look at it. I think often when people experience planned medicines or experience any kind of healing. They always have to make sure their physical health is part of that.

If there’s a liver issue, if there’s a thyroid issue. So you have to look at the wholeness of the person and you talk about the experience wearing off. That was the biggest things. I wanna put this field in or this neurofeedback side of it in. ’cause we train people in different places in the world with remote neurofeedback training and when they come to our retreats, we can send ’em home with their remote device and keep working with them because.

So plan medicines off this beautiful space of neuroplasticity and it’s like you were saying, this is a good place to pick up when people get home, pick up yoga, Qigong, many different practices. Meditation and ours, what we work with is neurofeedback. So that beautiful window of neuroplasticity is really amazing and people should always take advantage of it after Ayahuasca to do a new habit or change their life in a way that they want.

Sam Believ: Be careful with this beautiful window of neuroplasticity because it’s a double-edged sword. And it can also be, allow you to be more flexible in adopting negative habits. So that’s what we warn people every time. Talking about like brain brain health and mental health. Me and Luke and another person I interviewed a while ago, Ian McCall.

We’re now working on this idea to organize a, an ayahuasca retreat for UFC fighters, specifically here at low ira. And we will measure their brains because of the traumatic brain injury. So like traumatic, it’s. It’s probably as bad as it gets health brain health wise because their brains are like pretty scrambled, those really heavy hits.

Have you had any experience so far with traumatic brain injury working with it, with ayahuasca or brain entrainment? What do you know about that? What have you observed so far?

Luke Jensen: Yes, we do. And we have really fascinating GA on that. We had a a muy Kai fighter. She’s from Colorado. Her name’s Faith, and she came down to one of our retreats and she got cod.

She was knocked out about months before a retreat. So she had a significant pattern for inflammation and her brain. And then after one week, nine days of our retreat, three ayahuasca ceremonies and winchu ceremony, that brain inflammation went down significantly. Very significantly, it was almost not there anymore.

So yeah, I think we’re looking at something really unique for fighters, for anyone with head trauma, veterans or anyone else. Fighters has such a big thing that community ayahuasca can definitely, from preliminary observation, help with head trauma.

Sam Believ: Amazing. This is really promising because it’s also very quick.

You said just just this one retreat and you can. See noticeable changes and we’ve we’ve had people getting some relief from migraines and things like that as well through ayahuasca, even though sometimes I feel ayahuasca gives you headache when you drink it, but I, it almost feels like it’s because like just working and there’s like blood flowing and it, and then afterwards you feel better.

I don’t know if it’s a legit guess.

Luke Jensen: Headaches. I mean it might be, headaches can cause by so many different things. Sometimes their muscle tension and the biggest thing about headaches is I’m guessing when that person is done with retreat, they’ll have less headaches because their nervous system’s more called, ’cause so many headaches are caused a of nervousness.

Sam Believ: And you mentioned what tumor, right? You do those medicines as well together and and I believe you’ve done one of the first studies on wachuma and brain scanning. So talk to us about that study. What did you find? And then maybe talk to us a little bit about wachuma.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, so we I was looking at different things to brain map and as much science has been done in the last 10 years, a lot still hasn’t been done.

And I looked at all the research. As far as I could tell, there was no brain imaging whatsoever on Wachuma. So my study was the first study to brain image wachuma. And what we did, we had 10 subjects. It’s exploratory research that’s in the field with a shaman, with wachuma. We did try to control every variable like they would in clinic, but exploratory research allows us to see things that maybe they wouldn’t.

So we had pre maps during maps, during the acute experience and post maps and. No, it was just doing this anyway, it was really fun getting 10 people together and researching it, all your friends and stuff like that. And then we have a really good shaman. But then we looked at the data and we saw a significant change each per each person’s brain and.

Each person changes differently. So this is what surprised me. I think this is part of plan medicines that needs to be understood more. And I think this will change our view of trauma as well. But the short of it is that whatever the brain needs, it seems to get. So if a person has a overactive brain, like overthinking brain, it seems to slow down.

If that person is disassociating, that seems like a heal. If they have an a D or focus issue, that seems to get better. If their brain has low power, it seems to raise the power. So it works in a way that whatever they need, including physical things like healing from head trauma, they seem to get from the plant experience and each person.

Some people probably less, some people probably more, but everyone is changing in a healthy way, which I was not expecting. ’cause I think about prescription drug. Would all push people in the same direction. But plant medicines are very unique and that they don’t,

Sam Believ: it’s interesting because that’s what we keep telling people, right?

Ayahuasca’s gonna give you what you need, not what you want, and you have proof for it. That’s pretty cool. Or pla medicines in general. Tell us about what is Chuma and what do you notice similar or different to ayahuasca? Both from experiential point of view and also from the brainwaves point of view.

Luke Jensen: So Wachuma is a cactus in the Andes has meson in it, just like peyote. But the other alkaloids are probably different and the experience is likely different. I’ve never tried peyote. So ayahuasca for me. And I’ll see some spiritual language here too, in scientific language, but I really like the spirit of it.

So ayahuasca for me, you take it at night, you take it to the shaman and you take it and loca or temple and the shabo experience in Peru is very much inward, very much going to the subconscious, very much the inner work. When we use Wachuma in our style, we go on hikes. So we’re gonna hike in the Andes Mountains and it’s not strong enough or we don’t.

Give people a strong enough dose to really send ’em too far out there because we want them to take the experience back. So while Tru is much more heart opening, it can be it’s often used in nature. So when hiking, the whole universe feels alive, the whole world’s breathing, the rocks, the trees, and the sun, and you’re connected in a certain way from a neuroscience point of view.

And we’ve seen some different indications of wachuma. It seems like a default known network in the back of the brain is being reduced. So this is your sense of self, but you think about this in a spiritual way, when that comes down, you’re gonna naturally feel more connected to the world around you.

There’s no much, so much barriers. You’re gonna be more one with everything. So the neuroscience and the feeling really go together and it’s very beautiful in that way. Yeah.

Sam Believ: Yeah, I’m a big fan of Wachuma myself or San Pedro as they call it as well. It’s a very different medicine from Ayahuasca.

But still very valuable. Interestingly, like when you talk about drinking ayahuasca and going inwards when you’re at night and in the dark, that’s kinda what you do. But have you ever tried ayahuasca during the day ceremony?

Luke Jensen: I have not. Have you?

Sam Believ: Yeah. So we, at our four, at our one week retreats, we do four ceremonies and there’s three night ceremonies and one day ceremony.

Same medicine, same moloka, just different time of the day. And people have very different experience and it’s a lot of it is this kinda like observing outside and seeing the nature. So the format we have is. People go inwards and they heal and they focus on themselves, and they move that trauma around.

And then the last day it’s like celebration and it’s it’s, it seems very different. Yeah it’s not just the medicines, but also the way you do it and how you do it. But of course, like different traditions have different rules. Like I know shi peoples are very like, they like darkness and no fire.

And in a tradition like Columbia traditional with which we work. They have fire, they have candles, and they also do day ceremonies occasionally as well. So it’s something you can try when you come visit us when we do the UFC retreat.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, I’d love to. That sounds great.

Sam Believ: This idea for the UFC retreat is still new.

We’re still working it out, so hopefully it happens. What do you think what do you personally think? 1520 UFC fighters drinking ayahuasca together. Any,

Luke Jensen: I think that’s be a lot of fun. It can be very interesting. I think the whole community is really open to ayahuasca. Especially with Joe Rogan and everything like that.

And I think that’s really good for ’em. Because I think UFC fighters and the way they live are just very visceral people. They live in a certain way. They live like a very strong way. And I think ayahuasca too. You have to have that kind of sense of of courage and bravery to go experience this and.

It’s not for the light of heart and it’s a different kind of challenge, but it’s a personal challenge in your work challenge, but I think it’s, you gotta be perfect for guys like that.

Sam Believ: Yeah. There is a lot of parallels between UFC fighters and the veterans. Do you reckon UFC fighters also have PTSD?

Luke Jensen: Yeah, I think yeah. It’s very interesting to think about. I know a couple actually, just through sheer chance and, one that kind of life can lead to head trauma, but also, trauma as well. And also often the, some of the fighters I met or know they often get into this sport because of trauma.

One of my juujitsu black belts, his mom left. Or his dad left, so he didn’t have a father in the house, so that’s why he got into jut jujitsu. He wanted to be the best fighter. He wanted be the man of the household. And so I think a lot of those things can happen from trauma as well. So yeah.

Interesting question. I think some of it, yeah, some of ’em probably do have pt, SD.

Sam Believ: So talking about PTSD, can you tell us about your own journey of working with PTSD, the role plant medicine’s played in it? ’cause I’m ’cause I’m sure it was not just like you having couple ceremonies and it just went away.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, no it’s really been like a journey of 10 years or more. I’ve always been careful that term, PTSD, I think it’s true and accurate. It has a scientific validity, but you also remember that each person’s different. Each person’s their own being and what they’ve gone through is their unique experience.

So I think part of shadow is bringing it back to that personal experience, that soul experience rather than western medicines, a one size fit all medication. So I think talk about every real. Issue people are having is a spiritual issue, and I think that’s what widely true for mental health. And PSD at its core, I think also is a spiritual issue.

Like these are spiritual problems. We don’t look at that way in the modern western view because we are very materialistic, but all our ancients look at this way. So if you look at healing a spiritual problem, like a room from war traumatic event. I, trauma itself is a new word, right? Like event of violence.

Maybe you see your kid die, or maybe you see your friend die, or maybe just being in a war zone itself, so that leaves a certain energetic imprint. And I use the term energy very specifically ’cause there’s ultimate energy to that. And that requires a, I think a certain amount of energetic healing or spiritual healing.

So I think shamanism, ayahuasca, shamanism, and shamanism in general offers a very powerful way of healing that’s outside the Western model of prescription drugs and talk therapy and things like that, like going to that core. And I think the people that have experienced PTSD and have done ayahuasca. It’s often not a very quick route.

It doesn’t happen in a few ceremonies and it takes time. And often that first retreat is sometimes the first step to a different life. But that step, that road is challenging and it’s not a perfect path or a straight path. So for me, my early ceremonies, I was tortured a lot and I had that good ceremony to describe, but my other ceremonies was like soul torture.

That torture, that spiritual torture was actually cleansing. It cleansed those wounds, it cleansed that dark energy. It cleansed those inner demons and it allowed me to be more me. And I think that’s really the true. In life, in youngian, psychology’s, individuation, connecting to your soul. And that’s what planned medicines light it do.

And that’s what the work that needs to be done with, I think, wounds of war.

Sam Believ: So soul torture is a great way to describe it. So have you ever out of curiosity, have you ever measured the shaman’s brain during the ceremony? See what’s going on there?

Luke Jensen: Not during a ceremony. I really wanna do that. I have a, I’ve brain map some shaman’s, brains outside ceremony, but that could be really interesting.

I don’t know if that’s been done. So to be honest, part of my goal in the field is to do things that really haven’t been done. There’s so much low hanging fruit and so a beautiful field, I’m wanna, I wanna see these things and it’s cool, like when I brain image wa would be like, wow, this is the first time anyone’s ever seen this.

In my field, neurofeedback field, someone went and brain mapped all these yogis around India. And it was a famous field study. No one’s ever done that with shamans yet. So they’re really cool to go around and brain map shamans during the experience and outside the experience and see what their brains look like and see what’s happening.

’cause that research, as far as I know, hasn’t been done.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s a great, it’s a great great idea. So I’m I’m volunteering my Sharman for some scanning. I’m gonna, I’m gonna have to ask him, but he’s generally, he’s pretty cool and pretty open to new things. We’re doing this documentary and he was in it, and he is open to talk about it.

He’s he’s not a shy guy, so I think he’ll be pretty cool if we measure him and then we can measure those moments and be like, my. My shamans signal is stronger than yours,

Luke Jensen: the, it’s funny because a lot of the local shamans I’ve noticed really like the brain map. They like the science and it surprised me.

It’s lots of the westerners like, Hey, what do you bring the science stuff in here for? And the Peruvians, at least the Peruvians I’ve met that really into it. So that’s been cool.

Sam Believ: Yeah, the because the Westerners expect indigenous people to be stuck in time and like never really adjust or improve or, they want them to be like exactly as they are because that’s their kind of their own fetishized version of that’s my previous head of facilitations, he used to say.

The cult of magical brown men. It’s like they’re perfect. They’re, they know they’re, they have no downside. They’re like almost not human like God-like.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, no, that could be whole podcast. I think it’s very interesting how we project our ideals onto them and that there’s these perfect happy jungle people.

And I think one thing to realize as shamans is that they can have tons of ability and their personal life can still be messed up, or they can have their own issues with alcoholism, but be amazing in the space. So they’re very different people. Learn that culture and who they are adds a depth to it.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but they’re real people. Just like we’re real people. We can’t put them on this, we can’t make them cardboard cutouts of what we want ’em to be.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s my, my shaman, he is a great shaman. He is indigenous, comes from lineage, grows his own was in the jungle, he is, he’s pretty modern.

He wears sneakers he uses WhatsApp and stuff like that. Which is actually very useful when you try to organize anything but people, it’s oh, like they, they imagine like he has to be like bare feet and it’s like civilization happened to them as well. Like they, like right now in the deepest jungle of Amazon, you can have a starlink and it kinda creates new challenges.

Like I’ve seen this, oh yeah. Video about people getting starlink and then they all got addicted to their phones because they never had tv, so they did not develop the resistance. But yeah, going back to science, like we, we know how works because obviously. I’ve had a couple thousand people at my retreat alone, and they come and then they leave and they feel so much better.

And then I meet them, like at Maps we we met at Maps and there were three other people that came to or before and they’re like, oh my God. They were like, two of them were becoming a therapist now because they had this experience and they just loved it and they want to explore it and they’re like, you.

Changed my life. It’s a very uncomfortable for me always to receive the praise. But I know it works because I, ’cause I’ve seen so many stories, but now we sorta almost need science to prove it. It’s kinda it’s guilty until proven not guilty. We have to do this process now.

So talk about that, the science and the whole fact that we needed to prove that something that we know already works.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, no, I think it’s a really good point because so many people come down and we know it works. Their individual lives are changed. I work at a retreat and it’s motto was we change the world one person at a time.

And I think that’s true, but also think that if we bring the data, if we bring the science, say, over a course of a couple years, and it’s one of my goals to assemble. Of brains. That’d be such a huge analysis that science would have to look at that or at they should. Science is a modern religion, right?

Everyone’s a skeptic. If it’s not, if their doctors doesn’t say so, if it’s on the news or science doesn’t say so. It’s not true. You and I know those experiences are powerful, but to change the culture between the civilization this way it is now we have to approach it in a scientific way. I think that’s why we want to build up the data, and I think the more data, the more databases we have on these.

These beautiful changes that happen over and over again that’ll really give us a step forward to changing the culture.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It’s interesting you said the retreats motto was healing the world one person at a time. Our motto at La Wire is now Connect, heal, grow. But when we were brainstorming the Moto, I, my, my personal favorite was healing the World one Cup at a time.

So I guess I’m not that original.

Luke Jensen: I mean it’s probably not, they’re not original. It’s probably there’s like a fundamental truth, archival truth that we’re all picking up on. Wait, this will spread this cup to this cup and this person, more people. That’s true.

It’s definitely true and I think we’re picking up that idea that ayahuasca’s working through each one of us and that phrase be the change that we hear. And so true. If you change and people around you like, Hey, what’s different? What’d you do? Oh, I did ayahuasca that, that’s reds. So it’s definitely true.

Sam Believ: So you say science is a modern religion. I also heard you say in another podcast that it’s a problem that we’re lacking religion. Why is it

Luke Jensen: oh, I think that at the core, western civilization is lacking a grounding spirituality. And you feel like any healthy civilization, it had a spiritual outlook to its civilization.

As a people, as a nation, as a group of nations, they always had this spiritual idea that Gods are watching after them, or they had a spiritual mission as a people beyond their lives, beyond just acquiring. Material possessions. And when you look at civilizations decline, you often see that spiritual spark that fueled ’em in the beginning, start to leave or start to fade.

I think we’re in that stage in western civilization where we’re seeing that spark, fade, and to really have a healthy civilization, which requires healthy people, right? It requires a people that you know are. Have like mind and believe in a spiritual mission and something higher than themselves, that you need a core group of people to have a healthy civilization.

So I really look at what we are doing as a higher order of work that hopefully will lead to more people doing this and effect the civilization and change in a healthy way. I think most people’s religion today is either politics or science, or a combination of both. That they’re constantly obsessed with what people are doing on tv, what people are doing in a city a thousand miles away.

And the modern priests are the scientists, but the scientists have their own religion. Science is a method of observation. It’s not to tell you what’s right or wrong, it’s merely a tool, and we’re using that tool to study planned medicines, for example. But I. These research universities, for example, have billions of dollars of funding and have spent hardly any of that in this kind of research, which is mind-boggling.

So it gives you a view of a civilization’s priorities where they put their energy at.

Sam Believ: Yeah. The problem with science is somebody has to pay for it. So if they pay, if they. If you’re a pharmaceutical company, you will pay for the science around your product because AYA was in a way, does not really belong to anyone.

Science is it comes from like churches. I know there were some science done in Brazil and stuff like that, but yeah, in the end some, someone has to pay for it. That’s why science can be biased. One way or another, one direction or another.

Luke Jensen: But yeah, just that just really quickly, like science today.

Yeah, exactly. That these huge corporations and pharmaceutical companies, but 19th century, there were explorers in science. There were a, Edison and Tesla, and Jefferson, many different inventors were just a single person doing something. That could, that back then it could make an impact.

But today, the civilizations has changed and how that works.

Sam Believ: Yeah. In the way, let’s say I run an Ayahuasca retreat and I observe thousand people every year healing through ayahuasca. That’s science. Like I know it works, but it’s like the problem is now, like how are you gonna prove it? ’cause nobody gonna believe you.

I’m working on it. And talking to you and also to other people about like creating the proper paperwork. So it’s not just an observation but a legit science. How does how does one do science these days? You published some studies. Tell us the process.

Luke Jensen: So for me, like I said, I was the Marine Corps in Afghanistan and I was infantry in Afghanistan and I never really saw myself doing this.

I became a field researcher basically. And my mentor’s company has supported me in many ways ’cause they’re interested in this research. So keep in mind. Sciences always have to be done in a university setting or academic setting. And probably the best science is actually done outside those settings.

And if you, and so in the 19th century, for example, many of those scientists had sponsors that just sponsored their work in the private sector. There was no such thing as huge university grants. And I think we’re gonna have to start looking at different ways to approach science because the way the university system works and the grant system works is that.

Now everything’s so established, they’re not gonna risk it on something that’s speculative. They’re gonna use that science to re to say their ideas are right over and over again. ’cause that’s where the money’s at. And then they’ll get it right, but they won’t use it to risk something different.

Sam Believ: Yeah. We have a big pharma promoting different stuff now. We need big ayahuasca. Promoting ACA studies. I believe in citizen science, like we should all be a bit of scientists. And now, we have YouTube to learn and chat GPT and there’s nothing stopping anyone from doing anything anymore.

And you yourself proving it because you’re learning neuroscience by yourself. Like you went from being a veteran to now. Finding your mentor. Talk to us about that process. How is it ’cause you, you’re not in the university, but I’m sure more than some graduates.

Luke Jensen: As far as brainwaves go, I probably know, as much as most graduates. So if you go to a university degree for neuroscience, you got a lot of the chemistry and the structures of the brain and those, minute chemical reactions. So the field that I do with brainwaves. There’s not really a college degree for it.

You have to go to the people in the world that know it. Some people have college degrees, probably most people do have an advanced degree, but not everyone does. And it’s really this western model where you think that healing has to look a certain way or science has to learn a certain way or even expertise.

The shamans you work with, they’ll have a written diploma from the University of Shamanism. They’re, they have a lineage and tons of experience and no one questions that, so I think we have to look at those things different way, because that allows us to take in new information.

So the credential system also puts people in certain box and how they think. You need people to think outside the box, not in the box.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Not to take away too much from the science, but if you were. Let’s say choosing who’s gonna sit with you in a ceremony? Would you choose someone who just completed one year training in some fancy facilitation school?

Or like a shaman who has no, doesn’t know how to read, but has been doing it generationally. It’s someone who’s read a cookbook or somebody who’s been cooking their entire life. What’s more valuable? So just, somehow we need to like rebalance this. It seems a little bit biased now.

Luke Jensen: I agree. And actually when I’m sitting in the jungle, like I, I’ve been in the deep jungle in Peru and Amazon, just me and my friend and a shaman for like weeks, months at that time. And those, all those ideas that we have of way things should be all those, they’re breaking down. We realize we have so many constructs we can strain ourselves in and our thoughts.

And that really affects so many things and it’s constant process to keep an eye on those.

Sam Believ: Like we, we had the booth at Maps who came, visited us. I think my head of facilitation was a little bit my previous head of facilitation, he was a little upset because somebody came to him and asked what methodology do you use?

And he is whatever our shaman is doing, there’s like a lot of the stuff doesn’t have a fancy name, but people are both, they come and they wanna throw terms around. It was a weird experience. Being at maps there’s a lot of weirdness in the psychedelic space in the psychedelic science space.

So

Luke Jensen: Coming from the jungle to there, is it a huge shift?

Sam Believ: It’s I imagine that you have this it’s like reinventing the bicycle, but let’s say it’s like inventing. Reinventing the cars. It’s like in the jungle you have this imaginary highway full of cars and it’s just working.

And here you have these people like breaking their brains, trying to figure out how to make it work or explain it with words. It’s here it is it’s working. Just what are you doing? Like, why are you trying to reinvent it? But I also understand that there’s value to science, and this is why at Lare we’re gonna start doing more science, because I’m just.

Honestly, it’s a little fed up as well with people, not valuing the real results. So it’s if you own papers, we’ll give you papers, we’ll get you papers. ’cause that’s almost, to be honest, that’s like an easy part. But talking about science a little bit, can you explain like brainwaves I know people say alpha brainwaves, but gamma can you just give us like a little tiny course on it?

Luke Jensen: Yeah. Your brainwaves, your energy signature of your brain. So you have the four core brainwaves, delta, theta, alpha and beta and then other brain wave gamma. And each of these brainwaves, their waves going across the brain and by reading how they appear in the brain, we can see a lot about what’s going on.

And these brainwaves are basically the physical structures of the brains, millions of neurons firing at once that creates that wave. So in a way for someone from your retreat, I forget who she was, I mentioned the brain mapping. She goes, oh, is that like auras? And I’m like I go, no. Because we’re taking an energy signature of that person.

So for me. It’s kinda like a, an acupuncturist that looks at the tongue of the hologram and sees the health of the body. We can look at those brainwaves and see different things. That’s that person’s energetic signature coming from the brain.

Sam Believ: Interesting. That’s a, it’s an interesting way to explain it because some, as you said yourself through ayahuasca, you’ve seen auras of different people.

One time I was in the ceremony and they showed me. I could look inside of the person and see like different colors of different organs, like which one’s healthy and which one’s not. Hope I could do it on demand, but unfortunately it’s no, I’m not a shaman yet. But if, do you reckon the one day you’ll just be able to scan somebody’s brain be without many machinery, you’ll just be like, your color of your aura is green, so you have alpha waves.

Luke Jensen: I hope so because I’m gonna continue my own. Training that field of the shamanic arts. And I think it’s very interesting because the science is proving that we do have auras, we do have energy fields, and there’s probably fields we can’t read yet, like more subtle fields like quantum fields. But yeah, I think auras will exist and science advances.

I think the 21st century will be a century of consciousness if we do this right. We have to change the situation. And once we realized that there’s a consciousness and energy inside of us, this can really shift our understanding of ourselves, of humanity. And yeah, I’m really proud to be part of that movement and I’m having me, like you, people like you who are part of that movement as well, because to understand our energy beings first is just critical to who we are.

Sam Believ: Yeah was it Nico at Tesla that said that, if you don’t understand the nature of the universe, you need to understand waves and everything is a wave. I wish I was good at quotes. I’m

Luke Jensen: it was frequency. Everything’s frequency, but I could be wrong. Everything’s set up right. And if we look at everything as a vibration and not as a solid.

Everything’s moving this co this constant cosmic dance, right? So like what the yogis talk about, this cosmic dance of the universe. We’re seeing it now through science and I think we’re keep seeing more of that.

Sam Believ: Cool. I have another meeting planned unfortunately, so I have to wrap it up. Just last question.

Is ego default mode network. What’s that connection? Because I always wanted to ask our neuroscientists about that.

Luke Jensen: Yeah. So ego is connected to default mode network. It’s a sense of self. And obviously there’s healthy ways and unhealthy ways, but in Western world, we’re seeing this over connection with ego in, in the default mode.

Networks overworking over connected. So planned medicines allows us to dissolve that or weaken it for a certain period of time for us to shift that energy.

Sam Believ: Cool. Beautiful explanation. Any any last words you wanna tell to the audience or tell them where they can find more about you and about your work?

Luke Jensen: Yeah, so have a website in neuro enlightenment dot com and that goes into my research and what we do. And two published studies in that website and if anyone wants to reach out to me with any questions about what I do, feel free.

Sam Believ: Cool. Look, thank you so much for the interview. Really interesting angle, and I’m looking forward to meeting you in person and doing this crazy experiment about on the UFC fighters.

Luke Jensen: Yeah, it sounds like fun. I’m looking forward to it.

Sam Believ: Okay, guys. You’ve been listening to our Oscar podcast. As always, we, the host, Andie, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Ashley Glowiak, a licensed marriage and family therapist, PhD candidate in transformative studies, birth and postpartum doula, yoga teacher, and MDMA-assisted psychotherapy trainee with MAPS. Ashley specializes in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy for families, with a deep focus on maternal health and intergenerational trauma.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Ashley’s healing journey and entry into psychedelics and family systems therapy (00:02:00)
  • Parenting with consciousness and the concept of “family ecology” (00:06:00)
  • Intergenerational trauma and Family Constellation work (00:08:00)
  • Spiritual and epigenetic layers of ancestral healing (00:12:00)
  • Using Ayahuasca and psilocybin to address family trauma (00:14:00)
  • A practical framework for healing cycles and trauma with plant medicine (00:17:00)
  • Somatic integration and neurogenesis post-ceremony (00:20:00)
  • Breaking relationship and behavior cycles consciously (00:23:00)
  • How to identify what is truly your authentic self (00:26:00)
  • Postpartum depression and the healing role of microdosing (00:33:00)
  • The importance of natural birth, rite of passage, and community support (00:41:00)
  • The “village mindset” and raising children in community (00:50:00)
  • Birth as a psychedelic experience and the hormonal reality of labor (00:47:00)

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Ashley Glowiak at http://www.ashleyglowiak.com and follow her private membership community for support on microdosing, family-centered retreats, and integration work.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Ashley Glowiak: Children really absorb from the environment, from the people, from the relationships that they’re in on how to perceive the world, the beliefs that they should hold about themselves and others. They receive that. And oftentimes where we are in modern times is that most of us come from unresolved trauma, and so even in the most well-intentioned and loving families, oftentimes there is.

Distortion, right? That’s coming through these systems. And so we then inherit different ideas, beliefs, conditionings, that actually have nothing to do with our authenticity, have nothing to do with who we are, but just ways that our families have survived. And while some of that information should absolutely be harvested and cultivated for resilience, if we don’t bring consciousness to it and decide is the threat happening in present time or was that three generations ago?

Is there something I can take and move on so I’m not responding or reacting to my child with the same temper the same depletion, the same belief system that was handed down to me? Unless it’s something that you treasure and you want to pass on through that you identify as resilience.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast, as always with you, the whole Sam Leaf. And today I’m interviewing Ashley ak.

Ashley Glowiak: Ak. That’s right.

Sam Believ: Ashley is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a PhD candidate in transformative studies specializing in psychedelic assisted psychotherapy for families with a deep focus on maternal health and integration trauma.

She’s also a birth and postpartum doula. A yoga teacher and MDMA assisted psychotherapy trainee with maps. And speaking of maps, we’re coming to you from maps psychedelic conference. For those of you who wanna watch this on YouTube, you’ll be able to see the video and you’ll be able to see us at our booth here.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity. Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Ashley. Welcome to the show.

Ashley Glowiak: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me,

Sam Believ: Ashley. It’s really nice meeting you. Ashley’s pregnant, which is always really nice.

Pregnant women have very nice energy. Ashley, tell us a little bit about yourself and what brought you to work with mental health and being be the post, the be the birth doula and all of those things. ’cause obviously it’s. It’s not that conventional.

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. So my journey into the intersection of family psychedelics which is a unique kind of crossover that’s happening right now, although in traditional indigenous communities, it’s been so integrated for so long.

But it really stemmed from my own healing journey, which I feel like is so many people’s awakening into this work. That happened about 20 years ago when I went to see a psychedelic assisted therapist for a trauma diagnosis, and it was really in this experience that led me to understanding, hearing my authentic voice for the first time, and really putting myself on a trajectory of inquiry and devotion to understanding how family systems work.

Really what is the dynamic between. The human, mammalian species and how we engage in the world and with the ecology that we come from. And I became really fascinated in birth and postpartum because I knew at that point that I wanted to do the healing to become a mother one day. And this was, my early twenties.

So

Sam Believ: it’s five babies earlier.

Ashley Glowiak: Five babies earlier. So it was really my prayer to, do what I needed to do. I was in one of those positions where I was in the terrible relationships that were repeating themselves. Not quite understanding why I wasn’t in a state of more flow and more health.

And psychedelics really saved my life in so many ways and opened me into a whole new perception and mindset. So I became really devoted to understanding altered states of consciousness on all levels. I studied yoga, lived on a few yoga ashrams. Studied somatic therapies like time massage and, facial work, things like that.

And became really invested in a psychotherapy program that I was able to intersect psychedelic work with and became involved in Ayahuasca church and did a lot of healing in that space. And my work with that, coupled with the side education or research, if you will, on birth and postpartum. It just let itself so beautifully to understanding how we could start to re-pattern some of these intergenerational trauma responses that people have in real time and offer families a new experience, with medicine while they’re becoming a family.

If we can get to them before amazing and if we. Support and intervene postpartum or a few years after, whenever we can support that healing, I think it’s a good thing to do.

Sam Believ: Fascinating story. And also a you said the, so this is the fifth baby or the sixth number?

Ashley Glowiak: Five.

Fifth number five. Who’s number five?

Sam Believ: When did you do all of this? ’cause having all those babies and as a parent myself, I know it’s really hard. And then all those studies do you sleep? Or tell us about the journey just a little bit. ’cause I, I. I can’t really imagine,

Ashley Glowiak: thank you. Yes. I,

Sam Believ: and you don’t look too stressed either.

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah. I focus a lot on to the best of my abilities. Yeah. How to be resourced, because the way that I have understood the research and how it’s come through is that. It is really the mother who is the first epigenetic field for the family. And that’s not to put more pressures on moms and to make life harder, but to understand as a human species, that if we support the mother with multiple layers of support, to have good attitude, strong beliefs in themselves, to be able to hold their frequency in a purified and high way.

Then the children are more regulated, they come out with more ease. Everything is easier. So I focus a lot on my efforts on holding what I call the family field in coherence. And when I am able to do that, which is not all the time, but when I am able to sustain that, my life allows me to do multiple projects.

I also homeschool my children, so they’re with me all the time for the most part. So I work early mornings, I work evenings and I integrate them into this work. So I have a framework I call family ecology, and it weaves them in so they forage for mushrooms. We learn about the fungal networks, we learn about nature together and how we can.

Take the lessons that we learn from the biomimicry of the world around us and apply it to our family into our lives. So they become, integrated into the work that, the research that I’m doing. I call ’em my living laboratory, honestly, because I am trying something new here and bringing them along with me.

So it’s pretty integrated.

Sam Believ: Very impressive. Yeah, I have been conducting some experiments on my children as well, unconsciously. But it’s all

Ashley Glowiak: an experiment, right? So as long as we’re conscious about it and we’re putting in some heartfelt intention,

Sam Believ: for example we live at an Iowa retreat, right?

We have right now we have a slightly separated property, but it’s all together. So my children grew up meeting thousands of people from all over the world, always friendly people. They, their view of the world now is very different. It’s like world is just full of lovely people. Like my older son, Adrian, he learned how to swim very early.

He was only three years old. We have a pool at the retreat and he, I taught him a little bit, but he had other, no, he had about 50 different swimming teachers from different countries in the war. And everyone was in the pool at the time. Taught him a little bit. So that’s pretty interesting.

But yeah I’m all for experimentation because I believe that something is definitely not right the way we do with things. And you touched on so many interesting topics family systems, relationship cycles but so yeah, let’s talk about family systems and tie it into the parenting that you your style of parenting that you described.

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah, so the question being just how do I view the family system?

Sam Believ: First of all, yeah, teach us about family systems because, Sure. Is it internal Family systems? Is it something else?

Ashley Glowiak: Something else? Yeah. So Internal Family Systems has a lot to do with the internalized family that you hold, the different parts in your brain, the different parts of your personality.

What I’m talking about is the actual. Intergenerational connection that we hold as human beings, that the people that come from. Before us are woven into our bodies. Not only in our DNA, but in how we are raised in the first primarily gestation to seven years of life is a really a programmable state of mind.

We’re in a hypnotic space, if you will, children really absorb from the environment, from the people, from the relationships that they’re in on how to perceive the world, the beliefs that they should hold about themselves and others. They receive that. And oftentimes where we are in modern times is that most of us come from unresolved trauma.

And so even in the most well-intentioned and loving families, oftentimes there is, distortion, right? That’s coming through these systems. And so we then inherit different ideas, beliefs, conditionings, that actually have nothing to do with our authenticity, have nothing to do with who we are, but just ways that our families have survived.

And while some of that information should absolutely be harvested and cultivated for resilience. If we don’t bring consciousness to it and decide is the threat happening in present time or was that three generations ago? Is there something I can take and move on? So I’m not responding or reacting to my child with the same temper the same depletion, the same.

Whatever belief system that was handed down to me, unless it’s something that you treasure and you want to pass on through, that you identify as resilience. So the system is the interconnected web that we live in, and I love working with the mushrooms in not only it’s accessibility and support.

No. Ayahuasca was a huge healer, teacher of medicine for me in my early life, and still,

Sam Believ: you can’t grow ayahuasca in your cupboard, so I understand there. Yeah.

Ashley Glowiak: And when we start to look at coming back into our body, which is going to be the lineage of the father, the lineage of the mother, as well as what we call the ancestral over soul of your.

Multiple lives that you’ve had or however you connect to that. Then we can also start to look at the lands that we come from. And so the medicine, I think and feel is for everyone. However, it’s also helpful to know where the medicine was for your. Lineage and what kind of relationship was cultivated in that space.

And so psilocybin is present on almost every continent, right? And so it’s more part of kind of the interaction of the human evolution. When we go to some of these sacred medicines that are specific to region. And when we look at the fungal network, it’s such a great teacher and reminder for us on the fact that we are always interconnected and we don’t live in a silo and just like people, no matter what happens, we are always healing, engaging within a system. Okay.

Sam Believ: Just to understand like your view of it, that we have the, in our family system, we have the information that’s been passed on the behaviors. Then there’s this epigenetic part where, you know right now the is it a boy or a girl?

Ashley Glowiak: A boy.

Sam Believ: Okay.

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah,

Sam Believ: because if it was a girl, her eggs would already be in her. So something that’s happening to you now will affect your grandchildren, basically. And it’s like that level, but then there’s, do you also believe in like a spiritual level to it? As in I don’t know, like karmically, like caring, some kind of energetic, let’s say your grandfather was a bad person, so now you have to be a good person to balance it out, out.

Ashley Glowiak: I certainly have belief in spiritual. Reason why we come into the bloodlines we come into, and it is, I think because everyone I identify as nature, that nature is always looking to resolve and restore itself. And so within that context, absolutely. One of the frames that I pull a lot of information through is Family Constellations, which is the bird Hellinger work that talks about how it’s those people who we have rejected in our family.

The stories that we say we cannot tell. So the bad grandfather for that example, right? Like the one that did the thing that nobody wants to remember. Those are actually the most important places for us to go and to liberate through the story, through the voice so that the pattern doesn’t have to be repeated in a future generation.

Because the idea is that the frequency, almost if you think about it, like little tubes or something that it will combust, it will explode if there’s not flow. And so we wanna restore what we call. The flow or the coherence of love within the system. And for so many that is to resurrect these stories and to understand.

And I think medicine work is so profound for this is that when we go into these spaces of prayer with a medicine, we’re open to new perceptions on who the perpetrator is and how evil, terrible the stories that we make about them. And we start to understand. Through humility, right through the medicine. At least I can speak from my experience knocking me on my ass and being like, it’s so much deeper than what you think.

So much more than what, the reason why people behave, they, the way they do is always for a purpose. There’s always a trauma that led to that expression. There’s always, so if we’re gonna point our finger, we go on forever. At some point, right? We make amends with this person. Had that experience acted in that way, and if we can free the family from holding that secrecy, then we can move on.

We can learn from it and we don’t have to repeat it.

Sam Believ: Have you seen a Disney cartoon about Columbia called Encanto? I

Ashley Glowiak: have, yes.

Sam Believ: It’s like we don’t talk about Bruno. It’s like it is a

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah.

Sam Believ: The family member that’s been

Ashley Glowiak: shunned and

Sam Believ: canceled. Yes. But it’s a great example. That’s beautiful example.

Yeah. Interestingly, I do have exactly that story where my grandfather, my dad’s dad was a really bad person. Like he, he was a criminal and. He like did bad thanks to my father and my grandmother, and it’s just I know a lot of trauma that I carry comes from there. So how many generations back do we have to go?

Or is there like a limit where you like, okay, this is not my problem anymore?

Ashley Glowiak: I think so. There’s always that. Collective wisdom tradition that always says the seven generations behind, seven generations forward. And what I really have seen, so I think to answer that question specifically, I don’t exactly know.

What I do track in the families I worked with and what I’ve researched is that we can go as far back as the stories that we remember that people can share with us, but also it’s just in our bodies. So when we start to track our own reactions, even if we dunno where they come from, our own judgments towards ourselves or people.

Even if we don’t know where that comes from, our own hatreds, our own, whatever it may be, our own discordant frequency, if you will, if we start to move towards that and become curious and without judgment. Free it up, liberate it, own it. Take self responsibility and cultivate a nervous system. Cultivate a body that can decompose that and allow yourself to become a new person who doesn’t carry that anymore.

And there’s a process to that, and I’m happy. That’s might be another podcast, but there’s a whole process to being able to do that. That

Sam Believ: was going to be my next question about like very practical. So don’t give us the entire process, but let’s say somebody comes from a really bad traumatized family.

Not bad, like we’re, nobody’s bad, but let’s say mother line and father line of the family is messy and there is conflicts and like any maybe like summary of what’s the process, how they can do it, and then, and where do the plant medicines come in?

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah. So here is the framework that I’m leaving together.

I imagine there are multitude of process, right? And different places where people can seek support for these. But the framework that I really come to track that does a really beautiful job is to start with family constellations. So if someone comes to me and they say, this is my story, this is my history and I’m suffering because of it, and this is how it’s showing up in my life, I’m going to ask, tell me about.

Your mom, tell me about your dad. And just the words that they say to describe them will be so indicative on if they’re still holding charge. If they’re still holding onto anger, rage, blame and we can do that. Tell me about their life. Tell me what you know. Gathering story, which is something that is natural to human beings that we have done for the beginning of time. Gathering story. Let me hear how you’re understanding this. Let me hear how you’re perceiving this. And once we start to what I call eRate the soil, a little bit of the family field, then we can connect to the. The medicines, then we can say, okay, what is the, the intention or the prayer to kinda liberate and create more space and freedom from this?

And people have the experience they have, right? As as someone holding space for so many people, you don’t get to choose what experience you have when you go into a medicine journey. It’s your sole contract with the medicine or however it aligns, but they have their experience. And upon that, when they have the mystical insights, the visions, the deeper understandings, what’s so important specifically today, is to bring in somatic integration and to allow it to actually shift their soma, their body so that they can sustain the new understanding of their life.

And what I mean by that is, in historical context, when we’ve been working with medicines as a healing passage or altered states of consciousness which we all have through our shared ancestry of small band hunter gatherer tribes, we’ve all had some sort of connection to ritual, to ceremony to heal, to bring people back into balance.

But what we’re doing with. Now in modern life is, we’re in a different context. People are inside all day. They’re sitting all day. They’re not eating the same foods that are encoded with life force. And so there is actually a limit on the a TP that they have in their body, in their metabolic health to have the neurogenesis, the new neural pathways that happen with plant medicine to sustain itself.

So we see people having experience and it might be profound. But then do they become a new person on the other side? Sometimes. Sometimes. A lot of times not right now. And so they’re back again. And they’re back again, and they’re back again with the same issue. So what I always recommend to people is for that integration, is to really rely on nature as your integrator to really put your feet on the earth, right to ground, to receive the ions that your body actually needs to hold an electromagnetic charge.

To carry your frequency forward and be able to have the capacity when you’re tired and your child is doing the thing. You’ve got young kids. It’s like right now my 2-year-old, if I’m gonna unload the dishwasher, she is as fast as possible going to the bathroom and pulling everything out of the drawers, taking all the bandages that we have in the home and putting them all over the walls, so do we have the. The capacity to meet life with the love, with the ease, with the acceptance, with the calmness that we’re going for in these healing spaces. And if we don’t, I always bring people back to the earth. Go back outside, stay. We’re under a lot of artificial light this week.

But minimize that. Get your eyes in the sun as soon as the sun rises. Be outside in natural light and limit artificial light. And come back into our natural ways as social mammalians. And when we do that, all of a sudden we are able to start to shift our attachments to the stories. I find

Sam Believ: It’s beautiful what you say, come back to our natural way as social mammalians and I just realized something.

We are an ayahuasca retreat, but we’re also there’s this part where people come and it’s, you can see in the background, mountains and everything is green. Lots of sun. And then there’s people sitting around the fire, which is the most natural thing for us. And then I ask a cherry on top.

I think a lot of healing comes from just this and connecting to nature. It’s funny my middle son is also very obsessed with bandaids. Anytime he hits his hand or anything, he is and then, and I need a bandaid. So it’s just it’s a thing. The recent purchase, they went out to the city with my wife and instead of asking for toys or Marvel superheroes, whatever he asked for a roll of masking tape and then just tape stuff all over the house.

I don’t know, what’s the thing, you can probably psychoanalyze it, even do something. I

Ashley Glowiak: have to do it for my kid too. I’m happy to do, but

Sam Believ: yeah. Then you mentioned something just now about like people. Doing the cycles over and over again. And in the beginning you mentioned relationship cycles.

Talk to us about cycles. Why? And also how do we break them?

Ashley Glowiak: It’s the hardest part, right? Yeah. In getting out of the pattern. So the cycles are that they’re patterns, they are repetitive, they are something that’s familiar to you. So typically coming from family, coming from previous, experience.

It’s something that’s common. It’s comfortable even in the drama of it, let’s say. But they’re patterns and we identify ourselves off of them. We say, my husband is this way, that’s just how he is. Or, my wife is like that. And we can even hit our own limitations and say that’s just how I am.

Even if it creates suffering, even if it creates something that we don’t want. And so the number one thing we have to start to cultivate is consciousness is expanded, ability to be self-responsible about how our machine, our vessel, our bean operates in the world. And in order to do that, there’s different practices, right?

Medicine work can be supportive of expanding consciousness breath work, meditation, something to cultivate mindfulness, something to cultivate self-awareness. And when we have a little bit of that and buy-in where someone’s gonna say, I do actually want this to change because we need people to agree.

We can’t force people to do something that they actually don’t wanna do. And then, then when we’re able to cultivate that, then we can have these little points of shift. And that’s going to be, notice the pattern. Take a minute to pause and regulate. Take a minute to do something different. What is it that you’re wanting to become?

How is it that your highest self would respond in the situation? Can you pull that down and pull that through and show up like that for this experience? And give yourself some traction points. I really see it as, people get so stuck in their personal, their personality, which is their personal reality, right?

It is like Joe Dispen, but name it. We get so identified with our, with these attachments, with these stories, with these distortions. When people start to understand that you can truly evolve into whoever you want to be, and our biggest guiding light for that, our inner compass, is what brings you love, what brings you joy, what brings you, into a state of feeling good and feeling connected with others as you’re guiding light.

Then we start to have fun with it and start to understand, okay, if that’s a pattern, I then can shift it into something else. And what do we want that to be? And that gap is the quantum leave. This is why it doesn’t work for everyone, because it takes effort, it takes discipline, and it takes the desire to become a new person.

And so not everyone’s gonna do it, but for those who are interested, then. There’s space for that, and I think plant medicine work is an amazing ally to that transformation.

Sam Believ: This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Laira connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you. What if you have a part of you that. You say this is me. This is just who I am. How do you know whe whether it is your authentic self and that’s something you have to keep, or it is something that is just something you believe and you carry generationally or whatever.

And so how does one know what’s the authentic self and what needs to be changed? Yeah. Hope that makes sense.

Ashley Glowiak: Yes, absolutely. I’m gonna share a personal story of how this shows up in my marriage. ’cause I have one coming to my mind, but my husband’s from the east coast, right? And I don’t know if you spent much time on the East coast, but it’s like a little bit of a sharp way of language, right?

It’s like people phy Yeah. That’s like the nice, yes. And, but they sometimes it feels I’m from South Dakota, like Midwest. I feel like he’s yelling all the time. So like pitch tone and frequency is like an important aspect to how I understand life. And he will be like, that’s just the way I am.

This is how, my family shouts. Like we just do it. This is, I’m not mad. Like this is just how I speak. And so there’s a way there where it’s okay, he has a connection to that being who he is. Is that authentic being. Or is that the rapport that he holds with his family?

Is that the loyalties that he has with the people that raised him, that say, this is a tribal mindset and I don’t wanna break rapport with where I come from. It reminds me of home, it reminds me of where I come from. But when we look at that, it’s not that people, just were born that way, it’s, they were conditioned through the home, through the environment.

And that might not bother many people. ’cause many people love being on the East coast and speaking in that way. But for me, sometimes it can feel a little jarring. And so we come at this impasse, it’s I’m not going to tell him what is authentic for him. And I think that’s where we get into a really, key point to recognize that as humans, especially people who are in positions like we are, where we’re working with people who are under influence or altered states, is that I will never tell someone what’s authentic for them. Because it’s not my place and it’s mostly I track that they will feel the discord, they will feel.

Actually growing up in that environment with that tone was hard for me too, and this was the pain that it brought up for me. Or not, or they totally love it and they’re gonna hang onto it, and that’s their jam and it’s all good. I need to cultivate my own, response to that. And that can be my work.

So it’s not a black and white situation. But I do support people just to track what it feels like. Does it feel good? Does it bring up good memory? Does it have you vibrate in a frequency that feels like, you can actually have the somatic experience of feeling in your center, feeling in alignment, feeling in your central channel or your core.

That’s a good place to find and decipher between what is your truth and what is it that you want and what is it that just came through you that you’re used to, and a lot of the ways that we speak, a lot of the ways that we hold our body posture, a lot of the ways that we behave is to stay.

In rapport with the family and the communities that we come from, because that’s a natural, again, social mammalian survival strategy that we have. And then at some point we get to choose, is that serving me and my highest good, or is there another version of this evolution that I wanna adopt?

Sam Believ: It’s almost like a bi love language sort of conversation.

It’s oh, your language, your love language is him being nice and that for you, he the right

Ashley Glowiak: things

Sam Believ: and maybe he is like giving you gifts or whatever. But it is very, it’s a topic that’s near and dear to me as well. ’cause I’m from Eastern Europe and you can probably notice that I’m not too expressive, and and I can be in my joyous mood ever and people like, why are you so serious?

Because it’s mostly internal. It’s really external.

And it’s, there’s definitely some kind of programming, but as you said, in the first seven years, it was programmed into me and it’s really hard for me to be that expressive. And my wife is Colombian, and Colombians are Latinos, and she, bubbly and this and that.

And everything is in Dimi and everything is cute and nice and so it’s hard for her. And sometimes she, we don’t understand each other because she. Thinks I’m angry or whatever, or it’s and I say, this is my authentic self. This is what I am. And I explained to her, see you have to understand that there’s, I’m like a coin, right?

And there’s one side of the coin that I’m, I’m serious and I’m, thoughtful and I am introverted and I do this stuff, but the other side of the coin allows me to think of great things and create good things, which result in economic stability and a lot of good things. It’s like you cannot have 2 cent coin on one side with the other side of a 5 cent coin or whatever, if that’s a good example.

So it’s that’s just who I am and I probably will never be able to be that version. And I’m telling her for in Eastern European, I’m extremely expressive because like I’m trying to do my best, but sometimes still might not be enough. So I guess you define your own auth authenticity in the end of the day.

Because only you know what is real and what is not. And I think medicine can help. I’ve definitely had, I’ve had some things that I considered were issues and considered were my problems. And I honestly went to medicines to ask, is that a problem? And or not even that, it was like, how can I fix it, heal me?

And several different medicines, several different ceremonies said, you know what? There’s nothing wrong with me.

So maybe that can help as well. Absolutely. Another topic I wanna change the topic is because you have your five baby on the way, fifth baby on the way. So you should know it really well.

Postpartum depression. Can you avoid it?

Ashley Glowiak: Yes. It doesn’t happen to everyone. So I guess, I don’t know if a void is the right word, because if it’s something that is. Occurring if it’s something that’s been set the stage, if you will. Sometimes what we look at as a pathology of like depression is really an initiation.

And so you, I imagine can really connect to that as well in the work that you do is not we can look at pregnancy loss too. Miscarriage like oftentimes that feels so overwhelming and heartbreaking. And we can look at that as, what’s wrong? What’s wrong? How do I fix this? What’s going on?

We can also look that as an initiation into motherhood. That can be it’s own medicine. So postpartum depression is very serious in this time and age. It’s really prevalent and I think there’s a lot of reasons to why, and I’ll speak to just a few briefly, is that we are not in the village mindset.

We are not, like I said, orienting to the mother is the first epigenetic field. Oftentimes in this society, in just modern life, there is pressure for a mother to do all of the things, be all the things and it’s overwhelming and there’s not a lot of support to have her in a place that’s going to be most beneficial for that postpartum time.

Additionally. We’re not being held by the generations of women. We’re not witnessing birth at home. We’re not witnessing children, running around with the aunties and the grandmothers typically for some, absolutely. But as a majority that’s been lost. And so there’s a loneliness. There is a depression and isolation that can happen after you have this really big experience and then you’re not witnessed.

And when we look at rites of passage. One of the key things that needs to happen when someone goes through something that takes them to someone, they were to a new version, which is every pregnancy a woman goes through, you are no longer the same. You go through a death rebirth cycle, which I think is really common as well in ceremony work.

And you need to be witnessed by the community. You need to be acknowledged to, celebrated, and oftentimes it’s overlooked. And so women have. A process with that. They’re not being held in a way that is conducive to their their mammalian side really when you look at just like how we operate as human beings.

So in terms of how do we reduce chance for that, we start to talk about how to support life and the next generation. Way before we start having children would be ideal. We start to talk about how to incorporate the care, the food, the nourishment. The positive touch, the soft, soothing touch that a woman needs after she’s dilated 10 centimeters and delivered a baby.

You know how to do the closing of the bones and wrap the body, and to do these different things that like support her energetics to come back into alignment as a new version of herself who is now responsible for this additional life. So I think community support is huge. And then when we talk about, the initiation process, which I don’t think it’s avoidable for everyone, I think sometimes there is a personal journey.

I know with my second child, I didn’t have postpartum depression. That postpartum anxiety, that was pretty intense and it was actually connected to, he is my first son. Connected to what I tracked is an intergenerational expression of a tragedy that happened to my grandfather and my grandfather was murdered.

And it was right after I had my son. I was paranoid that someone was gonna come murder me and my family. There was like a replay of memory that was happening through me. And so it actually wasn’t until my son was a year, I sat in Ayahuasca ceremony and I was able to have this like closing experience with my grandfather and told him that he had passed.

I had tracked that he was kinda stuck in limbo, right? That he didn’t quite understand what had happened, right? And so had this experience in the ceremony and it was really supportive to me resolving that anxiety and welcoming my son into a new space. And so was that avoidable or was that necessary for me?

I guess I orient to that being part of my healing and part of my lineage process. If I had more information like I do now, because that was at the beginning of a lot of the research I’m doing around intergenerational and epigenetic work, I maybe could have caught that at three months postpartum versus, suffering in my process.

And doing that at 12 months. Yeah. But it felt important to me as as in my own, my own growth. In terms of bringing medicine into the postpartum period to help women finalize the ceremony of birth, I think it’s a really valid conversation to have because we have women looking to pharmaceuticals to support anxiety and depression.

They’re looking for relief and that has its pros and cons. It can compromise different aspects of their physiology and the components of what gets passed on to baby, as well as it doesn’t always work and it’s not always affect. But when we start to look at microdosing, when we start to look at offering small bits of medicine into the woman’s life, what it does is it begins to open her back up to connection with nature simultaneously, because these medicines are alive.

They’re not. Just extracted, they are living frequencies and so they can offer some maternal and generational holding. If even if we don’t have the physical aunties and grandmothers there, they can offer the whispers of You’re amazing. You

Sam Believ: OJ the grandmother. I ask her for your help with all.

Ashley Glowiak: Yes. So I see that happening with a lot of medicine and that it’s like offering this. Family lineage support through the energetics of the medicine. And I’ve seen it change women’s experience in postpartum drastically for the good.

Sam Believ: Yeah, Michael, though Marshall has really helped my wife specifically.

And after the second baby really helped. After the third one, she resisted it for some reason, but I guess. Yeah, you have to like sometimes and any require change the perspective on something negative as maybe some kinda learning process as you said, maybe something needs to be moved, something needs to be processed.

So yeah, it’s more complex than just here we go, take this and it goes away. Few topics that we can put together, you mentioned something called village mindsets and that we don’t see natural birth anymore. We don’t see that support. Talk us about that. Can we recover that and what is village mindset and why should women do natural birth?

Ashley Glowiak: Women should do whatever they believe is gonna be best for them.

That’s what I believe. I will, I think everything has. Consequence and impacts and things like that, no matter what spectrum. But I think one of the biggest things is that women need to be in an environment where they feel safe. And we’re in this chat around, is what does that look like?

But when we look at the statistics of. Outcome for hospital births. We can understand that over medicalization of birth is one of the leading causes of maternal and infant death, right? Mortality. And so there is a way that intervening, or intervening, excuse me, with nature has repercussions. However, some women feel safest, meaning that they can actually open their bodies more when there’s company of medical assistance, and that’s something to take into account.

Some women will feel that the lights above them, that the noises of the machines that being strapped down and not being able to move in primal movements will feel absolutely terrifying to their body and really create an outcome where they will need an epidural or they will need something to not be engaged in the birth process, which will inhibit them to move through the cycles of that rite of passage.

Likely needing to have support on the other side. To move through those stages so that they can feel like initiated. As a mother, I have a lot of women who say, I don’t feel like I’ve taken my seat as a mother, and a lot of it comes from birth trauma because for them it was registered as trauma to be in that setting.

When we start to look at how humans have developed for 99% of human history, which is. The majority of our time here on the planet has been in small van hunter gatherer tribes, which is the foundation of my research. It’s darcey NVAs, her work on the ancestral evolved nest, which has nine components, one of them being natural perinatal birthing experiences, and on request demand breastfeeding and things like this.

Like very, like more organic, if you will spaces to be in relationship with your body and your baby. What they find is that it’s actually directly connected to morality. It’s actually directing and supporting how people respond and cooperate in the future if they’re being held in these safe places and not feeling overwhelmed as infants, as children.

I think one of the things that medicine work can do within the healing component is remind us that it’s okay to trust our bodies. It’s okay to trust the earth. It’s okay to come back into natural rhythm, and it’s actually safe to just have the experience that we’ve been doing for so many years to be here and we can trust that.

Having children is a natural experience. And when we come back into trusting the rhythms and the stages of that, it has a really amazing way of like all my children, right? Except for my son, he was a vaginal breach. That we went somewhere to have extra people, who knew that route, support us, but have been born at home, witnessing each other’s births.

Around seeing the whole thing. And I have found that with my daughters, there’s that initial stage of damn, that’s really intense, and I’m a woman. Like I, this is like a serious thing. But now that they’ve seen it happen a couple times and it’s been so normal, they are so comfortable in their bodies.

They’re so comfortable with that idea. They’re it’s so normalized that a baby is just born in the living room or on the bed, and then we’re like eating breakfast together. And to have that reestablished, has them not fear their bodies, has them be in a in a space where they feel more excitement and less, less disconnect, from that whole process.

And again, it all comes down to, so I never wanna make someone feel or offer something that would have someone doubt what they know to be true, that they need because people need what they need. When we, again, look at the field that we’re holding the mother and the child in, if we’re wanting to not carry distortion, fear, and limiting beliefs through, can we cultivate a space where we come back into trust?

That we can birth our babies, that we can feed our babies, that we can take care of our babies as a family unit and as a community and not outsource it. Right now in parenting, there’s a lot of outsourcing to doctors, to schooling, to, we can outsource education and medical advice and all of the things, and it’s not wrong to get opinions and perceptions and perspectives, but can we also take responsibility that.

We are in charge of that process and offering our children in lineage the most coherent, pure space that we can muster at the time.

Sam Believ: Yeah. If you outsource everything, then who’s living your life? Then we have to,

Ashley Glowiak: anything that’s scary, you’re like, can you fix it? Can you do this? Or can you just take this away?

And we know like rites of passage are hard, it’s not, but what happens on the other side of that, it’s why people keep coming back to your retreat center is like, what happens on the other side of that rite of passage or that gnarly, ceremony where you are in discomfort and you’re purging and you’re crying and you’re, needing the hardest parts of yourself, but you come out the other side.

You then know that you can handle so much more. And a mother, it’s a gift to be able to come out the other side of labor and to be like, I did that, and here I am standing and I can handle. I now have the expanded capacity to handle the children that I have and the family that I’m creating.

Sam Believ: Let’s talk a little bit more about labor, specifically the, that it can be psychedelic sometimes.

Have you ever experienced that?

Ashley Glowiak: I have.

Sam Believ: Can you tell? Can you tell us?

Ashley Glowiak: Birth is like the original psychedelic, perhaps maybe before we even knew on all of the other amazing medicines, is the hormonal cocktail of the body. Is what we get addicted to, right? It’s has its own powerful components that bring us into altered states.

And it’s, we can activate that through breath the word, we can activate that through different things. The pregnancy has a particular way of unfolding. That when we allow it to have its layers and unfold organically or within its natural process, if you will, the hormonal cocktail that happens for the woman is altering.

You are going into a different realm. You are meeting your baby’s spirit and like pulling them through your body in a totally different space than waking consciousness. We track brainwaves, we’re gonna see that the woman’s brainwaves are in, theta in different spaces than just waking consciousness.

But we also see things that are like you would see in a ceremony. We see purging, we see crying. We see the roaring, the animalistic noises. We see all sorts of things that support the opening of the energetic body to do what needs to happen and when we actually start to have a few experiences where we reopen the body in this way, birth does not have to be painful.

And I think that’s one of the wild, like new understandings that we’re coming to is people are starting to talk about how to. Expand our bodies and how to shift our actual patterning and far fascia and our tissues to open ourselves to be. Birthing beings again is that there’s also a thing called orgasmic and ecstatic birth, right?

So there’s polarities in life. That’s what you’re talking about with you as two sides of the coin. We got the negative polarity where we learn a lot through the initiations and the hard things, and we got the positive polarity where we get too, like sore and with birth we get to find our place on that line.

And I’ve seen and experienced. Full of altered states on, birthing my children and being in, in that kind of big open portal where you have human life coming out of you. It is by nature of different reality to do that, and the body prepares you for it.

You’re not you’re set up for success. If we can allow nature to take its course.

Sam Believ: Yeah, we, I don’t know why we don’t trust the nature anymore. Something happened this whole under there’s so many things in life that makes no sense right now, but if you go back to this tribal society analogy, understanding how we used to live, everything used to make sense.

So many things can be explained this way. I wanna talk about this village mindset as well, but from the point of view of that. Parenting was never supposed to be a thing that just two people do.

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah.

Sam Believ: Can you talk about that?

Ashley Glowiak: Yeah, sure. Yeah. It’s actually a big part of where I’m growing into right now, and part of the heart of family ecology.

Is not only is this a framework to support psychedelic integration into family systems, but it’s also what my husband and I are creating as a homeschool co-op for families that incorporates our children, like I said, who get to learn about forging and learn the language of nature in different ways, and find their interest in reconnecting with the earth below so that they can.

Kind of sprout and grow in as much, effortlessness as we can do in this time. But it has been a big process for us to align with the village that we feel is healthy. Is of the same orientation and mindset that we are to welcome and to share space with and to support them having, babies and to support raising their children and have them incorporate into raising our children.

It’s an intimate thing. And so I think it’s really important for us to get clear on what are our values, because if we don’t have connection to what it is that we value, then we just are hanging out together, right? Which is recreational hangouts and fun things like that is great and all good, and learning from different kinds of people and having exposure in that way is always a learning experience.

So it’s not negative, but when we talk about aging and sharing life and really raising children as a collective, then we really orient to, okay, what is it that we hold as true for ourselves? What is it that’s so important to have as these pillars that we, I know that the values move through these different families and that we can hold them together because then we know how to support and raise one another’s children without.

Bringing in our own projections, bringing in our own, ideas of what it should be or look like.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s interesting ’cause in the past you would not choose your village, it would just be like, there’s the people you live with ’em, you figure it out.

Ashley Glowiak: Now

Sam Believ: we

Ashley Glowiak: can burn out. We have to find ourselves.

But you were already living in the. Living in the rhythm.

Sam Believ: But everyone was in the same wave. Yeah. It’s interesting. I can see the future where like we have a lot of people that come to our retreat. They love it so much. Then they wanna stay, like gay is one of them.

You can see her right there. Lady in black like she decided to come and retire and live with us. Yeah. So community is being built. So we’re being a building a little village. But at least we can pick and choose,

Ashley Glowiak: it resonates and it is completely multi-generational and I don’t know how the structure works, but it’s amazing to have people supporting your family who don’t have children, who are like the ones who have, like the energy and the capacity and the desire to help raise kids when they’re doing other projects and other things like that too.

Sam Believ: Yeah, it’s interesting because like specifically older people crave. Being with children, and children crave being with older people. Yeah. It’s like a match made in heaven, but now we just don’t have it anymore because I don’t even know why. Just, that’s just how we do it. Has anyone, any same person.

Would love to spend 20 minutes a day with a cute baby. It’s just something that you would do naturally. You get to opt not 24 hours. Yeah. Yeah. So if you have a community that has some babies running around, naturally people would just take care of them and some more, some less, and we observe it in my retreat.

Like people come and they’re drinking ayahuasca, so they’re more open. Everyone is loving and friendly. The kids are running around. Everyone loves it, kids love it. It’s just seems very natural. So yeah. It’s an interesting thing that hopefully is kinda getting some attention and people are getting more conscious about it.

So we’re very excited to see if we can go back to living a natural way. Ashley, thank you so much. Thank you so much for this conversation. You’re pretty cool like having all those babies and while still figuring things out and trying to help others. Where can people find you, learn more about your work.

Maybe somebody wants to consult with you about couples issues, family issues, et cetera?

Ashley Glowiak: Absolutely.

Sam Believ: Maybe somebody wants to give natural birth. We can help them out.

Ashley Glowiak: Yes. I have a website. It’s just my name, so it’s Ashley AK, G-L-O-W-I-A-K. And on my website you can find my offerings. I have, right now I have some course immersions.

I also have a private community. So it’s a private membership association where you can join. If you want to know more about microdosing, if you want to know more about plant medicine work within the family systems context, we offer education and we will be expanding out to supporting retreats and supporting people to come in.

And that will be very family centered. So that will look like. Having support for your children within our village while you’re engaging with your healing work, and then incorporating family support and the integration. So that’s all coming in the next year or so, as I navigate my own next postpartum and continue to ship away on my PhD in research as well.

Sam Believ: Yeah. Nice. Very busy. Thank you, Ashley. Guys you’ve been listening to our Oscar podcast and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you

the.

In this episode of Ayahuasca Podcast, host Sam Believ (founder of http://www.lawayra.com) has a conversation with Dr. Chandra Khalifian, a clinical psychologist, researcher, and educator based in San Diego. Chandra is a pioneer in psychedelic-assisted couple therapy and co-founder of ENA, a clinic and research center focused on healing relationships through ketamine and MDMA-assisted therapy.

We touch upon topics of:

  • Ketamine-assisted couple therapy and its origins [00:02:00]
  • Intimacy development and trust violations in relationships [00:06:00]
  • PTSD in couples and how MDMA therapy helps [00:10:00]
  • Why “it’s never about the dishes” – deeper relational wounds [00:14:00]
  • How psychedelics like Ayahuasca can shift ego and improve relationships [00:16:00]
  • The challenge of integrating solo psychedelic work in a couple dynamic [00:18:00]
  • The idea of conscious uncoupling with psychedelics [00:20:00]
  • Ketamine’s safety, addictive potential, and dosing differences [00:25:00]
  • The published framework for ketamine-assisted couple therapy [00:28:00]
  • Attachment styles, co-dependency, and emotional regulation in couples [00:31:00]
  • Teaching couples to validate each other’s emotional experiences [00:34:00]
  • Integration tools and the need for more research on psychedelic couple therapy [00:38:00]
  • A powerful story of forgiveness during a ketamine-assisted session [00:42:00]

If you would like to attend one of our Ayahuasca retreats go to http://www.lawayra.com

Find more about Dr. Chandra Khalifian at http://www.enamarie.org or contact her directly at chandra@enamarie.org.

Transcript

Sam Believ: You’re listening to ayahuasca podcast.com.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I think that our culture, or many cultures really emphasize relationship that lasts a lifetime as a success. And we recognize healthy relationships with connection and love and adventure and commitment as success, however long those last. So staying in a miserable relationship for your entire life, that’s not a.

Relationship success. That’s not a life success. And sometimes people do psychedelics and realize we’re different people or we have different values. One of the things that psychedelics can be so helpful for is conscious uncoupling. So rather than getting to a place where there’s so much pain and destruction that you leave and hate each other, you can do psychedelics together and really talk through what you’ve learned and what you love, what you’re grateful for.

And then. Come to the completion of your relationship and still have love for this person and be friends.

Sam Believ: Hi guys, and welcome to Ayahuasca podcast. As always, we do the whole assembly, and today I’m having a conversation with Chandra Kian. Yes. Chandra is a PhD. She’s a renowned clinical psychologist, researcher and educator based in San Diego, California. She’s a leading expert in psychedelic assisted couple therapy and a co-founder of N Emory, a Pioneer Clinic and Training Institute specializing in legal psychedelic therapies for relationship healing.

This episode is sponsored by Laira Ayahuasca Retreat. At Laira, we combine affordability. Accessibility and authenticity. The Yra Connect, heal, grow. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you, Chandra, welcome to the show.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Thank you. I’m happy to be here.

Sam Believ: So we’re coming to you once again from maps. There’s lots of great people here.

So Chandra is one of them. Chandra, tell us a little bit about yourself and what, your upbringing or your life and what brought you to this line of work.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. Yeah. So first, a little bit about Enam E. Enam E is a psychedelic assisted couple, therapy clinic, training institute and research center.

I have always worked with couples, so in grad school I studied intimacy development and trust violations. And then made my way to San Diego for internship. It’s one of the only sites in the country that specializes in couple therapy, and my mentor, Leslie Moreland, was doing a couple’s PTSD trial, and so started working with Leslie and that was really where I got to merge my love for psychedelics and couple therapy.

I worked on an MDMA assisted couple therapy trial for PTSD and started working in the ketamine clinic and we were, I think, the first people who started doing ketamine assisted couple therapy. We have the first published framework on ketamine assisted couple therapy and ketamine because it is a dissociative.

It can move couples out of these very rigid patterns that they get stuck in. So if a couple is coming to couple therapy, it’s because they’re stuck somewhere. And we say stuck in the same conflict loops and ketamine can pull you out of that and you can see your pattern from a different space.

And so rather than you against your partner, it can be all three of us and looking at this together. And we can start to shift the pattern together. There’s more openness and empathy and flexibility. And then therapists started reaching out to us to get training and so we very kinda like naturally developed the training institute and are now fundraising to do research.

Sam Believ: So it wasn’t one of those stories where you had relationship issues and then you started to learn about relationships. ‘Cause most psychologists become psychology because they

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: yeah. I, my parents got divorced when I was in grade school and I never saw healthy relationships.

I saw a lot of conflict and alcohol use and avoidance. And of course, like any human, you want secure attachment. You want love, and and I think I have a little bit more of a drive for that. I was always really interested in reading about relationships and attachment theory. And so when I got to college, I did undergrad at uc, Berkeley I started working in a human development lab and learning about how we develop trust with people.

Then applied to grad school to study relationships. So it was, it was a personal drive to understand connection. And then, yeah, it’s the most interesting line of work I think, in the world. Learning about love and how to build it, how to would definitely need a more loving world.

Sam Believ: I was just randomly met a person that I interviewed before and we were talking about that and immediately two men talking start talking about relationships and we realized that it is the ultimate boss.

It’s if a game is life that is not designed to ever be one because you lose interest and you wanna stop playing relationships, is that thing which constantly provides this chaos element, especially for us men interacting with booma. So for me, this topic is near and dear. I have a wife, I have three kids, and I think about all those things every day.

And of course there, there needs to be some interest from yourself or to have this drive to research and first consciously or unconsciously. So he imagines something intimacy development and trust violations. It’s really interesting. Can you talk to us what it is and why did you study it and where did you learn?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah, so when I got to grad school, most couples research was on most couples research was on conflict scenarios. So we would put couples in a lab and give them a problem to solve. And so all of our research was on. How do couples solve problems? And I was really interested in like how do couples build closeness?

Not just solve problems does mean, and intimacy theory says that the way that we create closeness is by one person disclosing vulnerability and the other person being responsive. So if I tell you something challenging about my childhood and you are present and engaged and responsive, I’ll feel closer to you.

And that happens a lot at the beginning of relationships, right? As we’re getting to know someone. But then over time, typically the vulnerabilities that I’ll come to you with are vulnerabilities about us, right? A time that you hurt me or violated my trust or a betrayal, right? Those are the really deep vulnerable conversations.

So I randomly assigned couples to either talk about. Personal vulnerabilities, right? My childhood, or a vulnerability in the relationship. And when couples talk about it was in line with intimacy theory. So when couples talk about those personal vulnerabilities, it’s easy for the person to be responsive and they create closeness.

When couples talk about a vulnerability in the relationship, we get defensive, right? And we feel more distant, not. I looked at mindfulness and secure attachment as moderators. So if someone has higher levels of mindfulness, ability to stay present, engaged, open, flexible, they were able to be responsive, also secure attachment.

So feeling safe in the relationship and other things that we can teach, right? Couples can learn mindfulness together. Couples can build secure attachment.

Sam Believ: So this is so near and dear to me. ’cause that’s my life every day. My wife has a conflict with her family. Amazing. I support her every day is good, but then she comes and complains to me about me and I don’t know what to do.

I get what do you expect? Should I attack myself? Or, it’s very complicated. And you also mentioned, so

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: what you can do. Is listen and be curious. It’s hard when it’s about you, but what you can say to her is I understand you’re feeling some pain right now. Can you tell me more about when that comes up for you?

But it’s hard ’cause then you have to listen to someone like complain about you.

Sam Believ: So I understand this and I know this, I have a, we have a relationship code. Yeah. And that’s exactly what he tells me, always be curious and ask and yeah. I just can’t seem to be able to do it in this moment what I personally, what we get, we have a good relationship, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a podcast about, going deeper. It’s a great relationship, but when we do have this standstill and we’re like, you guys, you said, couples get stuck. Yeah. What helps for me personally is sometimes we’re stuck, but then I go and I drink ayahuasca and I, something gets unstuck and then I can come back and we can.

Kind of push through and then make it all work again. So psychedelics are amazing. That case there and we’ll go back to it, but something you mentioned that I really don’t want to skip over ’cause I’ve never heard that term before, which is couples PTSD, what is that?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Cognitive behavioral conjoint therapy for PTSD is an evidence-based couple therapy for PTSD and it has a few different components to it.

So the first component is kind of psychoeducation about PTSD and developing safety in the relationship. Then the couple learns communication skills and starts doing kind of approach or exposure. And then challenging and stuck story stories related to PTSD. So kind of PTSD symptoms. A lot of trauma treatments don’t actually do psychoed about PTSD, which I think is a disservice.

So when we experience a trauma and we develop PTSD. The first symptom is re-experiencing. So we have memories, or dreams or nightmares, and our body doesn’t know the difference between something that’s happening in our mind or something that’s happening in real life. So if I’m having a memory of a trauma, I’m gonna have a physiological response.

My heart’s gonna start pounding, my stomach’s gonna get upset, my muscles are gonna get tense. And that is really distressing and we want to avoid that. So we numb out, we avoid, we use substances, we distract, and that doesn’t do anything to get rid of our memories. So then we start trying to avoid ourselves and our world gets smaller and smaller.

And PTSD symptoms become more intense and it influences the relationship, right? And partners don’t always know what is PTSD and what is just my partner. Being me or conflictual or aggressive, or not wanting to come with me to anything, right? Those are all symptoms and PTSD, so when they do the treatment together, they learn together, they do approach assignments together.

They’re challenging these really rigid stuck thoughts, like the world’s not safe together. And then when it’s done with MDMA, the couple will do kinda that first phase. Learning about PTSD communication skills and there’s been different studies. So in the VA, only a veteran can take medicine. So the veteran does the MDMA session by themselves.

They do everything else with their partner, CBCT preparation, integration when it’s done in the community. Michael, mid Hofer and Annie and Wagner and Candace Monson did it in the community. They did medicine together. So couples did MDMA sessions together and we’re finding that you couldn’t just go like a lot deeper.

MDMA creates an environment where you can move into your trauma and feel. Completely safe and supported. You’re flooded with serotonin and dopamine and oxytocin and vasopressin. Like everything of around you is safe. You are safe. And so that hyper arousal symptom is gone and you can go back into the memories without avoidance.

Sam Believ: Why why is it never about dishes? Why is it never about dishes? Yeah. You say it’s never about dishes.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Because the dishes represent something below the surface. Some vulnerability. And are you thinking about my, like Instagram

Sam Believ: post, something that I’ve heard you say, it’s never about the dishes?

Yeah.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: It’s about whatever that deeper vulnerability is for the couple. I feel alone. I don’t feel like we’re a team. I’m not acknowledged and couples often will stay up there in content. Laundry, dishes, finances. It’s some deeper vulnerability.

Sam Believ: That’s what I learned as well recently, relatively recently, and I’m 37 so I’m keep learning, but I, something would happen that’s very like.

Irrelevant. So small. Yeah. And I would get this exorbitant reaction. Yeah. From my wife. I’m like, yeah. And then I would get angry at her for overreacting. And then once we go deeper, we find out that, it was not about that all along, it’s just the accumulation and there’s always a reason

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: and we can’t do anything.

About, you can do the dishes, but that doesn’t actually do anything to address that tender. Soft vulnerability. And so you could continue fighting about the dishes all the time and you could continue to try to make changes that she’s asking for. And there will actually never be the healing that she’s looking for, the acknowledgement, being seen, being loved, whatever it is that’s under.

So

Sam Believ: how does it look like? What is that healing looks like and where does. Ketamine, MDMA or other psychedelics come in?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah we always do an assessment with a couple when they come in and we identify the pattern that they’re getting stuck in. And then with ketamine we identify where in the pattern ketamine can support and a mechanisms of change.

So where are the behavioral places we’re getting stuck? Where are we getting stuck in our mind? What thoughts are impacting distance? And then what are those deeper vulnerabilities? And we’re working to interrupt the conflict cycle and actually talk about the vulnerabilities. And just as you said, like when you have a conflict, you’ll go drink ayahuasca and have this deeper understanding of what’s happening and more openness.

That’s exactly the same with ketamine, the mechanisms. So you’ll have a medicine session and you’ll have more openness and willingness to hear your partner’s perspective and validate their pain rather than jumping into that defensiveness.

Sam Believ: It gives you that window. Yes, and I’ve never tried Ketamine or MDMA.

I am I’m sticking right now. To like ancient stuff, a thousand years plus. That’s my element, but I’m open in the future. But what it does to me personally, it gi ayahuasca gives me that window of maybe not being my ego. Yeah. Your ego is oh, you keep doing this to me.

I’m gonna be protective of that. Ego goes away and everything, and the only thing that’s left was love. Yeah. And you are like, you can’t even be angry. It’s just impossible. So I come back. Home, up the ceremony and hug my wife, and then we start talking and it gets better. Then she gets upset with me because she is you drank ayahuasca and now you feel better.

But I didn’t, and I, and she still gets, she’s still stuck in this loops. And then she can always go and drink ayahuasca, but we have a newborn, not a newborn, but 10 months old baby. So it’s. It’s difficult. So maybe in those cases things like ketamine could be a bit more easier.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. Ketamine’s, I mean it’s very safe. It’s used with children in the emergency department, right? So it is very safe. But that experience that you have is so common, particularly with we do some work, with, we have colleagues with Mission within, and veterans go to Mexico to do Ibogaine.

And their partners don’t go with them.

And people often have the experience of you’ve gone off and had this life changing experience and now yes, you’re in this place where you are open and loving and everything’s different, but I’m still here and nothing’s changed for me. And so there’s a big disconnect. And so we’re actually trying to develop some protocols where they can do preparation together.

They can have some insight at least to what’s happening, and then they can integrate together. ’cause we don’t like. That’s definitely not the outcome that we want, is for people to heal and then come back into an environment where there is more disconnect.

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Because even we’re talking about conflict situation, let’s even say there is no conflict If a wife or a husband starts working with ayahuasca, starts going deeper, healing, learning, and growing, they start to gradually disconnect. Yeah. It’s like you have to stay in the same level because otherwise eventually you’ll be.

You’ll become a better person and you’ll just inevitably face the fact that your partner is dragging you down. So it’s important that we synchronize that.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. It’s important to grow together.

Sam Believ: So what would you tell two couples that are afraid to work with psychedelics Because they think that they will get realization that they have to dump each other.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah, sometimes that happens. We work in our clinic, we work with people in all different relationship structures. And I think that our culture or many cultures really emphasize like. A relationship that lasts a lifetime as a success. And we recognize healthy relationships with connection and love and adventure and commitment as success, however long those last.

So staying in a miserable relationship. For your entire life. That’s not a relationship success. That’s not a life success. And sometimes people do psychedelics and realize we’re different people or we have different values. One of the things that psychedelics can be so helpful for is conscious uncoupling.

So rather than getting to a place where there’s so much pain and destruction that you leave and hate each other, you can. Do psychedelics together and really talk through what you’ve learned and what you love, what you’re grateful for, and then come to the completion of your relationship and still have love for this person and be friends.

That’s not something that our culture promotes in any way, and that is a lot of the work that we do.

Sam Believ: May I share, what you just shared with me about Iran and Israel or is, like you wouldn’t wanna mention it.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: You can share.

Sam Believ: Yeah. No, it’s just because, very interesting ’cause you talk about your previous relationship was with an Iranian man and your current relationship and

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: he’s American.

Sam Believ: Now the, now your relationship with Israeli man is we’re talking about relationships and past and present and Yeah.

Now this whole situation, none of it adds much context, but I think it’s just in a way kinda, there’s something there. I don’t know. Yeah.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I think I’ve continued to try to come from a place of love and my partner and I have had many conversations about. War and the state of the world. And I am a clinical psychologist that does trauma treatment.

And so I, my entire life’s work is like healing people from the psychological trauma of war. And there are humans everywhere that are suffering. And I think that. Progressing through life takes all different kinds of people, and I just continue to maintain my stance that it’s like I’m trying to approach the world with love and healing, and sometimes that makes things complicated.

And ultimately I think that is what the world needs.

Sam Believ: Yeah. It feels like we’re about to have a lot more war once again and, a lot more P ts d and we still have not even, what happened here at MAPS with the MDMA files? Yeah. So

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I think it, we’re

Sam Believ: not prepared for more P ts DI

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: think it’s interesting that this moment in time is also like when psychedelics are having this intense resurgence and I don’t know that is my accident.

Sam Believ: I have a feeling I thought about it for a long time that it could be our only way out in a way. Maybe if we can convince all those presidents to Great Iowa store something maybe, we’ll, there will be no wars. Yeah. It’s hard to imagine killing each other once you get this clear realization that we are I completely agree.

We’re the same thing. Let’s go back to the topic of ketamine because I have not talked to much people on ketamine and like ketamine seems almost too good to be true. But there is this aspect of potentially getting addicted to it. So if somebody wants to work with ketamine how can they maybe mitigate it or prevent this addictive potential?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. So we work with ketamine, sublingually. So it’s a lozenge that de dissolves in your mouth and it’s absorbed through your mucus membrane and the dosages that we work with. There’s not an addictive potential. And you’re doing it in a setting with a therapist, or even if you’re doing self-guided at home, right?

You’re sent your prescription, which is like one journey at a time where people are having some challenges with addiction or dependence is when people are doing it recreationally. And for the most part, they’re doing it intranasally and you can just keep doing it and you have unlimited access and it’s really it’s a dissociative.

So people are using it to avoid,

Sam Believ: to dissociate.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah.

Sam Believ: So basically oral absorption is, I guess then it’s the same as nicotine. If you, for example, comparing smoking cigars. So sorry. Smoking cigarettes to smoking cigars, to using rap. Rap. I get, I’ve seen so many people get so addicted to it so quick because it’s the quicker, the absorption, the fire.

Is the addiction rate, is it similar or maybe

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: with nicotine? Yes. Ketamine’s a little bit different because it’s just a very different experience. And so when you do sublingual, like you’re going into a. A dissociated state. And you can’t exist like that. Whereas like intranasal ketamine, you can still, lots of people do it like at CLOs, right?

So you can do it and then still dance and function, but you’re just like floaty and so you can just keep doing it at whatever level you want. It’s not a therapeutic experience.

Sam Believ: I see. It’s basically, it’s pleasant enough to, for you to be able to addicted to it as opposed to, let’s say deep dose, big doses of ketamine where you go to K Hall and it’s not that pleasant or ayahuasca where you don’t know whether you’re gonna feel great or you’re gonna feel really challenging.

It gives you that yeah, offset. Can you talk about your paper or kain for couples?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yes.

Sam Believ: And what did you find? And

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: so it is a theoretical paper with some qualitative data. It’s really our framework. And so it talks through building an assessment and then the mechanisms of change. So a little bit of what we talked about with.

Cognitive mechanism. So if I’m having thoughts that I’m a burden or I’m worthless, ketamine creates flexibility so we can shift our thoughts. If I am very avoidant from my partner behaviorally, ketamine can create openness there. So I’m more likely to approach these challenging discussions if I’m feeling.

Emotionally, a lot of resentment. We find this a lot with like infidelity. A lot of resentments unwilling to forgive. Ketamine can create openness in that space. So the paper is the framework and then some qualitative experiences of the couples that went through it. We are fundraising right now to actually do like a clinical trial of this model.

So we don’t have quantitative data yet. We don’t have trial data.

Sam Believ: On the topic of couples and psychedelics that’s a question I get a lot as well, is should it do it together? Should it do it separately? Both. None.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. I think that if they can do it together and are willing to do it together, they should always do it together.

What you were saying of you, no matter what, from every experience, you’re gonna grow in some way and it’s traveling with your partner, right? Like you’re having this experience that is leading you to be a different person in some way. And when you do that with your partner, you get to grow with your partner.

I think that if they’re not doing medicine together, they should always integrate together.

Sam Believ: That’s a great idea. Yeah. What I normally tell people is we’ve seen both four versions work together and separately, sometimes. Separately is better because they, let’s say they want to go to the word circle and complain about their partner and they might not be able to do it.

Yeah, but I’m talking about group setting. Would I ask specifically? Yeah. And but I, I always say it’s better to do both. Do separately first that together, or do together and then separately. Because as long as you’re together, you’re set up in a way forced to constantly go through the relationship. I. I notice sometimes my wife, when she knows that I’m, so I drink, I ask her maybe once a month when she knows I’m going to drink.

She tries to consciously or self subconsciously quiet with me.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Oh, okay. Opposite.

Sam Believ: So then when I go to the ceremony, I’m thinking about the relationship. She’s very smart.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: She brings up all the things she wants you to think about. Yeah.

Sam Believ: She’s very smart. Yeah. You mentioned something like anxious avoidant, like attached to styles.

Can you talk about that and talk about codependency and this topic?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah, so we develop our attachment styles. Our attachment styles can change throughout our life. I’ll preface with that, but we develop our attachment styles with our caregiver, these studies were done by a woman named Mary Ainsworth long time ago.

It’s called a Strange Situation.

Parents would leave their babies alone in the room and leave, and they watched how the babies responded. So if you are anxiously attached, you’ll start crying, looking for your parents. No one will be able to console you. If you’re avoidantly attached, you’re like.

Whatever parent’s gone. When parent comes back, you also don’t really respond. A securely attached baby will cry when caregiver leaves for a little bit and then settle, and then when the parent comes back, they’ll be able to be soothed. And so then our romantic partners in adulthood, they are our attachment figures and so we can have the same attachment styles in those relationships.

Or if your partner. Is responsive and supportive. What we talked about with intimacy development, you can develop secure attachment and you can have people who are like anxious, avoidance, avoidant, anxious avoidance, and codependency is where you require your partner to do all of your. Regulation, right?

So as an adult we should learn how to self-regulate, but when you are dysregulated constantly away from your partner and the two of you are depending on each other constantly to regulate, and that’s really the only way you regulate, it can become very dysfunctional and hard to function without them.

That’s the anxious war. That can be anxious avoidant. That can be anxious. Anxious. If both has

Sam Believ: secure, then you don’t have this,

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: if you both have secure, you’re not gonna have, you’re not gonna have dysfunctional codependency. Every relationship. To some extent. You’re dependent on your partner, right?

Your partner does things for you. You do things for your partner. You live together. You’ve learned how to function together. So depending on your partner is not necessarily bad. Depending on your partner for all of your emotion regulation that is going to be dysfunctional

Sam Believ: and there’s also co independency, or what’s the phrase?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Co

Sam Believ: independency like when you’re. Above you, both independent and then together you are independent together. It’s a words. My coach used one, so I might be wrong.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Okay. By what you’re saying, I would imagine two people who are very independents. And can function fine in life. As independent people put

Sam Believ: together.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Put together,

Sam Believ: yeah.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: In a relationship.

Sam Believ: Okay. I don’t even know enough to ask the question okay. I’m learning. You talk about intimacy development, it’s important and also importance of teaching couples how to validate others’ feelings. Would you talk a little bit about that and Yeah.

Basically imagine that we have. Bunch of people from dysfunctional couples listening and we wanna help them do this and also learn about ketamine and just give them enough information to improve.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yes. So validating your partner at the most basic sense is saying your experience makes sense to me and all behaviors.

If you can truly put yourself in your partner’s shoes. For the most part, all behaviors make sense. So when your partner is coming to you with some pain, whether that’s about you or something else, stop talking. Just be present with your partner and really try to see the world through their eyes. H and validate their feelings, validating their feelings is at the most basic sense.

I understand what you’re saying. Based on your experience, everything that you’re feeling makes sense.

Sam Believ: Why is it so hard?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Because, ’cause we have our own perspectives and it’s really hard to just scooch our perspective out of the

Sam Believ: case. ’cause to validate means to make valid means. This is true. And obviously from your perspective it’s very untrue.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: But from their perspective, it’s true.

Sam Believ: Any tips?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I people can approach this as if you’re listening to a friend and with our friends it’s really easy to show up and be present because it’s not so personal, right? And so if you can really just move your perspective out of the way, you will have time for your perspective.

But one person goes at a time. Have your partner go first. If you’re practicing this, move your perspective out of the way and just show up with them in their perspective. You can say to your partner, I really wanna understand what you’re experiencing. I also want to share with you what I’m experiencing.

I’m going to 100% be here with you. And then can I also share with you what’s important to me? Will you also show up for me? Most people are not gonna say, no, I’m not gonna do that for you. Most people are gonna say, of course, thank you for being here with me. I also wanna understand you. But they’re more likely to do that after they feel understood.

Sam Believ: What if I, and that’s a very recent example, what if I sit down, I listen to my wife for an hour and a half, no interrupting, and I try my best to do this. That’s exactly what my coach does. And then I start talking and she interrupts me every five minutes.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah, that’s where couple therapy is really important.

Sam Believ: Yeah.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Because. Maybe some people just are not going to have this skill to do this and they’re gonna need a structure around that. So I always tell people, go to couple therapy sooner rather than later. Most couples wait five years of distress before they get help. Don’t do that If you’re struggling, get some help, get some tools, but why not go together though?

Sam Believ: Yes. What is the best modality for integration for couples year?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: So this is a new field, right? There are not, there’s very little out there on psychedelic assisted couple therapy. The model that we are developing, what we’re trying to do is make it accessible to everyone regardless of their background.

And so people are constantly developing these new interventions and calling these treatments interventions and targets new names, which makes it, which separates everyone a lot. So in our integration model, we are calling. The treatment integration mechanisms, like what they actually are. So softening into vulnerability, reflecting your partner’s feeling challenging, maladaptive thoughts so that it can be accessible to everyone.

We don’t have any research on what integration method is best for couples. This is a completely new field. We need data.

Sam Believ: Hopefully you can get some funding and get some research. Yeah. I don’t know if anyone very rich listening to this podcast can help us out. If somebody would, what’s the how, the, how does one support your research?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah, they can go to our website, ena marie.org. We are we’re in the process of. Getting our nonprofit, our fiscal, we have a fiscal sponsor right now. Nautilus, they were maps was their fiscal sponsor. So we have some really good mentors and supporters with us, but we can take philanthropy dollars now.

We have all of our research protocols and we have models for increasing access to our training. So there are different places where your money can go immediately, and we can talk with you about those different options.

Sam Believ: Perfect. Do you yourself only work with Kamin or you work with other plant medicines?

Have you tried the Oscar?

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I am not able to talk about my personal experiences because of my government positions. But I work with. In my clinical trials, I work with MDMA. I’m also working on a psilocybin trial right now. And then we work with Ketamine in our practice.

Sam Believ: Okay, that makes sense. Too bad the government is around this way.

We have like lots, health practitioners, first responders coming to my retreat because they’re ETSD to shreds and it really helps them. But they can’t even tell their coworkers. I know. They’re like, sometimes they say I came back and everyone was like, what did you do? Whatever this is, and they did some yoga.

It’s it’s a very powerful yoga that, and they can’t share. Yeah. And it’s almost like unfair. How come they. They’re the ones like first in lines, but they’re not allowed to be depressed or anxious because they’re gonna lose their job world is unfair.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: I’m hoping that changes and I am grateful for people like you.

Sam Believ: Yeah, hopefully slowly but surely we can change that and events like maps for those, for watching this, it’s like in the back of us, there’s like s of people back and forth, exhibit halls, many businesses. It’s pretty, pretty inspiring for things happening. Last question can you just tell us maybe an anonymous story of anonymous couple of that worked with Ketamine?

Or can be other psychedelics, but they had this, the psychedelic assisted couples therapy, which I think is something you’ve, you pioneered and had good outcomes. Like what? Any story, any success story. Did you Yeah.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. One of my couples that this was a very moving experience for me, so I had worked with them for a while.

It was a infidelity couple and, the wife was having a very part-time with forgiveness. She wanted to forgive. She wanted to move past the affair and reconnect with her partner, and she was in a space of didn’t even know what forgiveness could feel like. And forgiveness very much is like for you.

It’s the decision to release attachment to a painful past. When you’re still in partnership with that person, of course it impacts, right how you’re able to relate. And they did a ketamine medicine session together and one really nice thing about ketamine is that it’s very physiological and so you feel the medicine in your body, and her intention was to understand what the feeling of forgiveness was and to be able to forgive her partner.

She had the experience of laying in a river and the water was flowing around her and she had very rigid thoughts around my partner’s gonna do this again. If I do forgive, I’m not gonna feel safe in the relationship. She felt the water move into her head and wrap around those thoughts and into her heart and wrap around the resentment, and through her body and through her legs, and out her feet.

And she said that was for her, the feeling of forgiveness, feeling the water moves through her body and releasing those very stuck thoughts and pain. And so then in integration, she also understood this isn’t a one and done. But now I know what it feels like. And so when these thoughts come up that separate me from my partner, I can go back into the feeling of letting the water rush through me and continue this practice of releasing.

And she continues to do it. When she gets to a stuck place, she continues to come back to that physiological experience.

Sam Believ: Amazing story. Thank you so much for this episode. That was personally for me, very interesting. ’cause I am a man in the relationship. Awesome. Said. I’m sure people listening will identify with some of it.

Where can people learn more about you? About, you’ve already mentioned what to find your project, but you can remind it again.

Dr. Chandra Khalifian: Yeah. So our website is ena marie.org. You can also Google me, Chandra Kian, you’ll find all of my papers and I’ve presented at conferences around the world. All that stuff’s online.

My email is chandra@enamarie.org. I’m easy reach, I’m responsive. Perfect.

Sam Believ: Thank you Chandra. Thank you guys for listening. As always with you, your host Andif, and I will see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you’d like to support us and psychedelic renaissance at large, please follow us and leave us a like wherever it is you’re listening.

Share this episode with someone who will benefit from this information. Nothing in this podcast is intended as medical advice, and it is for educational and entertainment purposes only. This episode is sponsored by Lara Ayahuasca Retreat. At Lara, we combine affordability, accessibility, and authenticity.

Lara Connect, heal. Guys, I’m looking forward to hosting you.

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